****************************************************************************
  *                          "NEW TO TEACHING LOVE"                          *
  *                                (part 11)                                 *
  *                              by Vince Water               April 26, 2005 *
  ****************************************************************************
  |  Copyright 2005-2006 by Vince Water                       Corrected 5/06 |
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     I'm glaring at Simon. "Am I not your monedo your grandfather has set over
  you in this matter?"

     The boy nods slightly.

     When I flare my eyes at Simon, he acknowledges it with words.

     "You are my monedo."

     I'm releasing my breath in a huff. It aches me to deny this boy's release
  with Jesse from now on and he's gonna think I'm doing so out of jealousy but
  what I'm really doing is protecting him in my role as advisor. I won't betray
  Goes-late-in-the-night's trust in me for looking after his grandson. I can
  control my lustful urges towards the boy. What about Jesse?

     "You're saying that I can't even beat off." Simon's face takes on a look
  of defiance.

     "You made that promise not to be with Jesse. What you've done has bent
  the spirit of your vow, Simon. I'm doing this to protect you. Both of you."

     "How? By not sharing your lover with me because you're jealous or thinking
  I might steal him from you? I won't!"

     My eyes close in pain. "Do you remember what happened when we first met?
  You wanted me."

     "Sure. You were the first guy I could be gay with. It was only for sex
  because you told me that Jesse was already your lover. So?"

     "You chased after Running Water next."

     "He gave me his butt!" defends Simon.

     "Yeah. But when he fucked mine, you were really upset."

     "Because I thought you were betraying Jesse's love!"

     "Weren't you also feeling betrayed by Running Water? That the two of you
  could maybe have become lovers?" Simon shakes his head back and forth.

     "He only likes white guys."

     "Don't be so sure. Running Water said that his heart would go out to
  whomever he loves be he a white guy or Native."

     "He thinks I'm too young."

     "You are." The boy looks up at me with a fierce expression. "I'm rather
  new to love myself, Simon. Your grandfather entrusted me with guiding you in
  this thing. I've been sorely tested." I look the youth over with a hunger for
  his small brown humps. They stick out nicely from his body and press down on
  Jesse's butt. It's exciting to see that. The boy notices my looking.

     "You do have a nice ass, kid. My cock says go for it! Jesse reminded me
  about something from our... past where you could fill that same role in our
  love as Wind-go-through-his-hair." I'm explaining all this to Simon but my
  words are actually directed at Jesse.

     "Who was he?" asks Simon.

     "A boy of your age who fell in love with Brave Bad-eyes. That was in the
  long ago past where such things were at least tolerated by the People. Not
  so today! For what Jesse, Running Water and I have done with you could put
  us in jail."

     "I won't be tattling to the cops!"

     "That's good. You are true to your word." My eyes flare. In a lower voice,
  "My heart feels it would be wrong to be with you, Simon, to express that in
  bodily pleasure. Your mouth says that it's only having sex but already, your
  heart is falling for Jesse next. First me, Running Water and now him."

     "Tell Mike that it's not so!" pleads Simon. He scoots himself off Jesse
  and falls to his back in bed.

     Jesse turns around and sits up against his pillow while avoiding the wet
  spot he's made on the sheet. He peers at the boy with a sullen face. "I think
  Short Hair may be right. We talked about this last night, remember?"

     "You told me that it would be okay! Mike is jealous of us is all. Why can
  he have Running Water on the side and not you? We want to be together."

     Hearing the boy's words only proves that my heart was right. He has it all
  wrong. "Simon..."

     "Don't you want me, Jesse? Your heart is big enough for another and even
  if that's just for sex, I'm okay with that. Away from your mother's house so
  I won't be breaking my promise."

     Jesse shuts his eyes and speaks after a moment. "I do love you, little
  brother. From my heart! I'll not give hurt to your heart by expressing my
  love in a way that confuses you."

     "I'm not!" Simon shouts.

     Jesse bows his head to his chest, covering his face with crossed arms.
  Christopher recognizes this profound gesture. It's what a man does when he's
  shamed by another or from speaking a truth that isn't believed. This isn't
  lost on Simon.

     "Jesse? I'm sorry!"

     My lover doesn't stir. The boy peers at me with tears filling his eyes. He
  wants me to explain what's happening here. "You guarded over him yesterday
  during the protest."

     "Sure. I kept them stupid reporters away from him."

     "Can you guard him from yourself?" Simon's mouth opens in a silent 'Oh'
  and he stares at Jesse for a long moment. The tears are wiped from his eyes.
  The boy's face takes on a stern look so he won't appear weak before us. He
  looks down at his filled left hand.

     "What should I do with..."

     "It's wasted for not being given to a lover," I answer softly.

     "When will I have one?" Simon asks.

     "We'll work on that." Jesse takes the boy's cupped hand into both of his.
  They exchange looks.

     "We care about you, little brother. If you wait until you're older and
  have learned what it means to love another, really love them as you've seen
  how Short Hair and I love each other, your bodily pleasure gives voice to
  your heart as it's meant to. It's wrong of us to share this with you now. Do
  you understand?"

     Simon slowly nods. "A little. You don't want to have sex with me because
  I'm thinking it's more than that."

     "Yes. Will you trust in what Short Hair and I have told you?"

     "Sure. I'm only a stupid kid who doesn't know any better." Simon jerks
  his left hand from Jesse's and looks around for something to clean up with.

     "Go to the bathroom," I suggest. Simon scoots off our bed with eyes that
  won't look at me. I'm looking over the boy's slim form, a brown skinned body
  that's rather short in height for his age. His long hair flies from his
  shoulders when storming out of our room. I'm turning to Jesse with a sigh.
  "That went well." He punches me in the arm.

     "I don't agree with you, love."

     "I'd meant that sarcastically! But you have to agree that Simon had to be
  told how it is."

     :No. I don't agree that we shouldn't give the boy sexual relief,: Answers
  Jesse. :I was by Ron. It didn't confuse my heart and he made me ready to
  find you, love.:

     :You were older than Simon!:

     :Not really.:

     I understand what Jes means. He was autistic that had him thinking like a
  child in spite of his true age. In some ways, Simon is more mature than my
  lover was before we met. Maybe he can handle the sex but likely he can't. I
  do know that it's left the boy thinking that he's in love with Jesse though
  that's mostly coming from the feelings from his dick.

     Our bedroom door bursts open. Simon streaks in with a worried look on his
  face. He rushes to put clothes on.

     "What's wrong?" Fear grips my heart. "Has Winna come home?"

     "No. It was Hawk Flying Over," gasps Simon. "He needed to use the bathroom
  and saw me naked when I came out!"

     I'm holding up my hands. "Stay here. I'll go talk with him." After giving
  Jesse a look of exasperation, I find clean clothes to wear. Simon stares at
  me with pleading in his eyes. He's worried that Hawk Flying Over will tattle
  on him to Winna. I am too.

     When I walk down the hall, I discover that the man has already left the
  house. I'm standing by the front door. After taking a deep breath, I open it
  and go outside. A cold wind strikes me. The day has grown dark with rain
  clouds threatening over head. It's with much reluctance that I make my way
  towards the street where Hawk Flying Over has parked his jeep. He unlocks his
  passenger side door when he sees me. I slip inside.

     "How are you, Mike? Is Jesse feeling better today?"

     "We're both fine, thank you." I'm folding my hands in my lap and force
  myself to look at the man. "Ah. What you saw back there..."

     "Simon is a cute kid."

     "Yeah." I'm swallowing past the hard lump in my throat. "It isn't what you
  think." Hawk Flying Over gives me that Look. "It's a long story."

     "I'm not going anywhere."

     I wet my lips and decide to start at the beginning. Hawk Flying Over is
  told how I've first met Simon when his grandfather had come to the road
  looking for help with lifting his trailer out of the mud. I reveal the boy's
  interest in me that turned to Running Water (after fucking his ass) and then
  to Jesse. I suspect that he already knew about his cousin's involvement with
  Simon. I shouldn't be surprised since Running Water and him are tight.

     "He's told me what happened," says Hawk Flying Over. "I've given my cousin
  a good scolding for he should have known better."

     "I should have too." I continue explaining things to Hawk Flying Over.
  "The boy's grandfather has given me charge over the youth to guide him for
  being gay. Even in sexual instruction since he knows that Jes and I are
  already a couple so the boy won't be confused. But he was. That's why it's
  gonna stop and I've promised Winna we won't."

     "Then what I'd seen outside the bathroom..."

     I'm dropping my eyes from his. "He was cleaning up. Jes and him... Well.
  They were messing around like boys do but not by having sex together. I've
  scolded my lover about it."

     Hawk Flying Over looks out his windshield. He goes deep into thought and
  speaks after a long moment. "How old is the boy?"

     "Ah. Nearly fifteen. I know that Simon doesn't look it."

     "I'd thought he was older," comments Hawk Flying Over.

     Older? Simon looks younger than his age so I'm surprised by this man's
  comment. Oh. They'd been together while sharing guard duty earlier in front
  of the house. I know that the boy can act very mature by the way he talks.

     "Is Simon without a father?"

     "No. Well... He's serving in Iraq so that's why the boy has been left in
  his grandparent's care. Goes-late-in-the-night's wife is very ill though."

     "I'm sorry to hear that," says Hawk Flying Over. "Does Simon's father know
  about him?"

     "I don't think so. Goes-late-in-the-night accepts that his grandson is
  gay. That's why he asked me to be the boy's monedo since he can't guide him."
  I'm releasing a tense breath. "That's proving difficult."

     "Seems like you have your hands full."

     "Yeah." I want to stop talking about Simon so I'm asking the man, "How are
  things going with you?"

     Hawk Flying Over sighs. "It's getting very busy at work so I don't come
  home until late. There's some large orders for tractors and harvesters we're
  struggling to fill. It has me working Saturdays."

     "And you're spending your day off watching over our house," I mutter. We
  exchange glances. "I really appreciate your vigilance and that of the other
  guardians. Thank you." My thoughts turn dark. "Eli Kie has left Montana but
  Jesse still needs protection from someone that Trickster has been training
  to do evil here."

     "I know. Our Inspired One has warned me."

     How much has Hawk Flying Over been told? What's important is that he and
  the others are still keeping watch over the house. I don't want Jesse to
  end up as the third shaman-in-training to be struck down by Evil. Grandfather
  won't live long enough to find a fourth Chosen let alone train him.

     "I want to thank you as well, Short Hair."

     "For what?" The man looks down at the front of himself. Oh. His manhood
  has been restored. We exchange knowing looks and smile shyly at each other.
  I wondered when my Passing Rite would fill his balls with sperm. He must of
  beat off and saw its thick white release like I achieved in Jesse's arms
  this morning. My restoration only took minutes. Jes Passed his blessing as
  war leader to me by seeding my ass and Simon's seed cooled my burning loins.
  This man's balls have been aching him for over a week. He didn't have the
  benefit of a boy easing his pain as I did. "Are they still hurting?"

     "No." Hawk Flying Over smiles. "My balls have swollen up to a proper size
  which you'll notice when next we get together in my hot tub. I also feel
  different somehow." He'd muttered that last comment under his breath.

     "Different. How?"

     "I'm feeling horny all the time." The man laughs nervously.

     "The women had better watch out for you then!" Hawk Flying Over gives me
  an odd look but I stop myself from Gleaning what that means. If he wants to
  tell me on his own, he will. I could try giving him a little nudge. "It's
  nice to be able to talk with you about things."

     "I honor your confidence in me, Short Hair. We're friends."

     "Yeah." Hawk Flying Over opens his mouth but he closes it, thinking better
  of what he was gonna say. I join him by looking out his windshield. It's
  grown darker since I've left the house. His jeep is swaying in a strong wind.
  "Looks like another big storm is brewing."

     "That's what the weathermen have reported. Worse than that last storm. How
  is Simon getting home?"

     "I've forgotten about that! He's got school tomorrow so someone is gonna
  have to drive him home." I don't want to leave Jesse while he's sick. Winna
  is out shopping so if I wait until she returns, that storm will hit. I'm not
  looking forward to driving through them hills in the rain. I'd nearly gotten
  stuck in the mud before.

     "I can take the boy home," offers Hawk Flying Over.

     "Will you? Thanks! I'll go get Simon so you can take him home before the
  storm hits. Do you know where he lives?"

     "In the bad lands, left off that road going east from Box Elder."

     "It isn't paved," I warn him. "Hopefully, you'll get Simon back to his
  grandfather's trailer and out of there yourself before it rains."

     "My jeep can handle it."

     I've noticed the large wheels on his jeep. He'd probably have a better go
  at it in the mud than my pickup. He lives just up the main road from where
  he'll drop off Simon.

     "Charlie will be relieving me in an hour. I should wait until then."

     I'm shaking my head. "No... That road can get pretty muddy in the rain so
  it would be best if you two leave now. Jes and I will be alright until
  Charlie comes. Really!"

     "I'll call him. Maybe he'll be able to arrive earlier."

     "Sure. Let me get Simon out here." I'm opening my door and leap out before
  Hawk Flying Over can gain say me. A strong wind is blowing. That makes it
  difficult to walk but I manage to reach the front door and enter the house.
  The boy is sitting on the couch. He lifts his head from the back rest and
  opens his eyes at my approach. "Hi. Hawk Flying Over will be taking you home.
  Go get your things."

     Simon slowly gets to his feet. He glances at me uneasily before fetching a
  bundle of clothes from the floor he'd worn at the protest. I close the
  distance between us. He gives me a plain face to guard his emotions from me.
  "It'll be alright," I'm assuring the boy.

     "Hawk Flying Over is cool. I don't mind him driving me home."

     Hmm. That's an interesting remark. "No. I didn't mean that." I'm looking
  towards the back of the house and Simon catches my drift.

     "Jesse is sleeping," the boy mutters.

     "I'm glad. He needs his rest." Simon walks with me to the front hall. He
  gets his jacket from the rack and is about to put it on. "Give me a hug.
  Okay?" The boy rushes into my arms but not before I'd seen his face. The
  guarded expression he'd worn has broken to reveal his relief that I'm not mad
  at him. I give his back some fond thumps. Hmm. He feels rather hot to me.

     "You'll see me again, won't you?"

     We're still holding each other close. "Sure! Why would you think we
  wouldn't want to see you? I am your monedo, after all. Someone has to guard
  your ass." We both laugh. Simon loosens his arms around me. He peers up with
  a tense expression so I'm ruffling the hair on top of his head. The boy
  smiles shyly. "Be good."

     Simon shrugs his shoulders. "I'll try to. Promise."

     We go out the front door together and the boy is nearly running to the
  jeep while I catch up. I'm smelling rain in the wind. Hawk Flying Over opens
  the passenger side door and the youth leaps inside. I stick my head in.

     "I couldn't get a hold of Charlie."

     "That's alright. You said he'll be here in an hour so I want you to take
  off now. I'll look for his arrival from the front room."

     "Okay..." says Hawk Flying Over. He's reluctant to give up guard duty.

     Simon gives me a weary look before shutting his door. Then I'm running
  back to the house after they drive off. Man! That wind is really fierce. I
  close the front door behind me and lock it. A prayer is offered that they'll
  be safe on the road. Winna, too. She's out shopping right now.

     I'm huddling my arms around me to keep warm. A Sense of foreboding comes
  to me by this evil change in the weather. I go check up on Jesse. I'm
  Sensing that he's asleep and when entering our bedroom, my eyes confirm
  this. The blanket has been drawn up to his chin. I resist the urge to lay in
  bed with him since the house has been left unguarded. I'll await Charlie's
  arrival by watching for him in the front room.

     The phone is ringing. I'm closing the door softly behind me and run to the
  kitchen. It's answered after the second ring. "Hello!"

     "Mike?"

     "Yeah." It's Mr. Talbert. I'd forgotten to give him a call. Dread fills me
  because all the troubles in my life return like a crash of thunder.

     "How are you feeling?"

     "I'm fine."

     "And Jesse? Is he recovering from the flu?"

     "Yes. He's much better today, thank you."

     "I'm glad," says Mr. Talbert. "You need to be in court tomorrow at nine.
  I'll pick you up an hour before then to make sure that we get there on time.
  Mike. It's not going to be a long hearing because I'll be making some motions
  before the judge that will delay your actual trial. We may have to wait for
  other cases to be heard. I won't know where you're listed on the docket until
  we get there."

     "Okay. How should I dress?" I'm realizing that I don't have a suit to
  wear. Only a pair of good pants and a shirt I've worn in class.

     "Something nice, Mike. Dress pants and a shirt but don't wear a tie. I
  want you to give an impression of being a young man."

     "Sure." My lawyer means that I should look innocent. Someone who's too
  young to have done all them terrible things against the cops.

     "Do you know if there's a protest planned tomorrow at the court building?"

     "No. Not that I've heard about. I'm sure that some of the People will come
  out of curiosity to see what happens."

     "There will be reporters there," warns Mr. Talbert. "Mike. I need you to
  keep your mouth shut and don't acknowledge anyone when we arrive. Not outside
  the court building or inside. Let me do all the talking."

     "Okay. I'll behave myself."

     "I have to warn you that the press is taking a big interest in your case.
  I've received dozens of calls from them. How about you?"

     "Not since Thursday's meeting. I haven't talked to anyone." Well. That's a
  little white lie since I'd met with Ms. Spruell but she's not actually a
  reporter. We had more important things to discuss than my legal case.

     "There's a power struggle going on in this town, Mike. Captain Ruston
  isn't taking this sitting down and now the city council is conducting their
  own investigation into Lieutenant John Danielson. His alleged misconduct that
  Bill reported to Internal Affairs and apparently not acted upon. They don't
  want to look foolish for appointing Danielson interim police chief if he's
  been involved in wrong doing. The press is all over him concerning this."

     "Won't that help my case?" I ask.

     "Only if evidence of your civil rights being violated comes out."

     A long silence follows. I figure that my escape from those charges against
  me will come about if my lawyer can prove I'd been wronged by the police. How
  can that be proved if they're gonna cover for each other? John Danielson has
  had days to whip the men under him in line so I doubt any 'evidence' will be
  coming out of the police station. His ass is on the line.

     "Be ready at eight tomorrow morning," asks Mr. Talbert.

     "I will be. And thanks for everything."

     "Bye, Mike."

     I'm hanging up the phone. My sense of dread is cast from me since there's
  nothing I can do until tomorrow. Charms A Bird has Healed my stomach ulcer.
  I'm not gonna worry myself to death with this second chance he's given me.

     I roam down the hall towards the front room. After a quick stop in the
  bathroom, there's a loud knock on the front door. I run to answer it but as
  I'm about to open the door, a thought strikes me. I'm entering the front room
  and peek out the window first. There's a uniformed man standing on the porch.
  He's holding a large envelope that catches the ill wind, threatening to sail
  out of his hand. A delivery on Sunday? My sense of foreboding increases.

     I tiptoe back to the front door and extend my Senses beyond it. There's no
  danger coming from this man. I'm startled by his loud knock. More insistent
  this time so I reluctantly open the door.

     "I have a delivery for Mrs. Winnapah. Is she home?" the man asks.

     I can tell that he's from FedEx. That's seen from his uniform and the
  markings on the large envelope he's holding in his hand. Something is tucked
  under his left arm. "She's sick with the flu," I'm answering. "Her son, too."
  Why did I just lie to him?

     "I'm sorry. I'll come back tomorrow to deliver this."

     "Who's it from?" The man looks down at the envelope.

     "It's addressed from Helena. Something official looking so that's why she
  has to sign for it."

     I'm realizing with horror who had sent Winna this! "I can sign for it."

     "No... She has to."

     I'm looking this man over. He's only a little older than me but shorter in
  stature. An Asian man. Maybe Chinese but I can't really tell. "Phuoc?"

     "Do you know me?" the man asks, surprised.

     His name had popped into my head. "Winna is really sick with the flu." I
  feign coughing. "Her son has caught it and I'm afraid that I'm coming down
  with it next. No one will be able to answer the door tomorrow or the next, I
  suspect. Come on. Let me sign for this and then no one from your office will
  have to waste their time coming to the house to try making this delivery."

     "I don't know."

     At this moment, rain begins to fall. The wind is howling. Phuoc is looking
  back towards his delivery truck and I take this opportunity to snatch the
  envelope out of his hand. "The wind almost blew it away," I explain. My Sense
  of danger increases by touching this evil portent in my hand and I'm almost
  about to give it back to the man to be rid of it. In his eyes, I see that he
  doesn't want it either. "Where do I sign?"

     Phuoc removes an electronic device from under his arm. "Here. And could
  you sign using her name so..."

     "Sure will." I'm scrawling out 'Winnapah' on the electronic screen reader
  with a stylus Phuoc provides me. Done.

     "Thanks." Phuoc runs back to his truck in the rain. I'm closing the door
  behind me and lock it. The envelope in my hand is held out from me as if in
  fear that it'll explode. Silly, really. It only contains papers though I fear
  what they are. I walk into the front room. The FedEx envelope drops to the
  floor as if from great weight. I'm plopping down on the carpet.

     With dread, I'm turning the envelope around so its addressing can be read.
  All in type. It supposedly came from the police station in Helena and my
  sense of dread increases. Jes and I were expecting this blow to come from
  Eli Kie.

     I pull on the bottom seam strip to open it. My right hand automatically
  makes that warding off gesture to evil when air escapes from the envelope.
  My trembling hand pulls out the stack of papers. A cover page explains the
  contents. It reads:

        Dear Mrs. Winnapah,                                  May 2, 2003

        It has come to the attention of our department that a diary
        obtained in connection to Ron Earlman's murder investigation
        contains disturbing accounts concerning your son, Jesse. The
        diary entries are written in Mr. Earlman's hand and have been
        translated from German. By law, this information must be given
        to Jesse's guardian though he be over legal age because of his
        incompetence from autism. It's advised that you seek professional
        assistance for Jesse both medically and psychologically as the
        accounts given in Mr. Earlman's diary details that man's
        homosexual relationship with your son.

        Another man by the name of Running Water also appears to have
        been involved sexually with Mr. Earlman and your son. If you
        know who this individual is, our office requests that you contact
        us with this information. If you want to file charges against
        Running Water, you are advised to do so at the police station in
        Havre who will pass this matter on to the district attorney's
        office. They have already been given a copy for their review.

        As Mr. Earlman's diary is now part of the public record,
        anyone can request a copy of it. Your son is not a minor so
        said evidence cannot be sealed per Discovery Procedures 16(a),
        17(a)(b)(d) under the Evidentiary Act passed in 1987. You are
        advised to seek the council of an attorney.

        I am saddened that your son has suffered sexual abuse at the
        hands of these men. The information obtained by our office was
        intended to investigate Mr. Earlman's murder but now takes on
        much larger legal ramifications concerning Mike Yager and will
        be used in connection with the criminal charges against him.

        Sincerely,

        Kent Brian
        Helena Police Station
        Montana

    cc: Ralph Benton, Deputy District Attorney


     I'm tossing this 'official looking' cover page aside with a sick feeling
  in my stomach. Winna would have gone ballistic if she were to have read it.
  It's lucky that I've intercepted it as I did. Eli Kie's strike from afar has
  fallen short of its mark though. Thank God!

     There's a thick stack of photocopies in front of me. Each one is stapled
  with the front sheet showing a zerox of a page from Ron Earlman's diary. I
  recognize that man's bad handwriting. It's in German but the following sheet
  renders an English translation. I'm already aware of what Ron had written
  about Jesse and Running Water in his diary. Is this an accurate translation
  or did Eli Kie embellish anything? I'm pour over the first diary entry:

        January 1, 2002

        On New Year's day my head hurts. I celebrated last night alone and
        Running Water miss. He said that tomorrow night will me see.

        The heater in my trailer failing is. Need to with the manager about
        that speak. (To-do list put). Too cold is!

        I look back at my victories from the previous year and am satisfied.
        Two Chippewa skeletons recovered for burial were. A medicine woman's
        pouch to the Blackfoot returned. An eagle feathered peace pipe to
        the Cree from private collectors returned. A dispute over rights to
        new oil wells in the R.B. Res. resolved. I'm the details finalizing
        of payment percentages between the Native Nations who lay claim.

        Quiet-before-the-dawn a few more leads given me has on whom I
        should issue Discovery Orders on. There a museum in Malta is where
        he's heard that a Blackfoot shaman Fetish in their basement storage
        is. A bar called the 'Injun Engine' in Flatwillow a skull hanging
        from their ceiling is that might be Native American. Alan Tremwall
        rumored is to a Cree healing pouch have in his private collection.
        Said objects are known to sewn in their lining have the finger bones
        of powerful shamans to Power lend them. Montana's Native American
        Directive C882.03 section 01 into effect today comes that enhances
        our rights to search and seize ancestral belongings from collections
        both public and private. Even if a court order frees this item for
        verification, said examination will the object violate. A catch-22
        situation this is.

        Need to the left rear tire of my car check. I think it's air leaking
        again so either patch or replace. (To-do list).


     This entry appears to be accurate. I recall missing a few words in my
  attempt to translate Ron's bad handwriting. Does Eli Kie know German? More
  likely, he's hired an expert to render it in English. I'm skimming through
  the next group of sheets dated from the first half of 2002. Nothing that Ron
  had written is new to me. Hmm. I'm getting the impression that whoever
  translated this had come by the original diary. There are sharp zerox lines
  around each of the book's small pages. Not a zerox of a zerox that would have
  blurred the images or darkened them. Lt. Scott Danielson had taken the
  original diary book from me when he came to my trailer but not before I'd
  made my own zerox of it. I copied two pages at a time. Each of these sheets
  shows but one page. How did Eli Kie get his hands on Ron's original diary?

     There are colored tabs sticking out from the stack of sheets. I draw one
  out that's dated from March. Some of Ron's passages are highlighted in yellow
  so I refer to the next sheet with its English translation. I'm reading it
  with much interest:

        March 12, 2002

        My lover's nephew brought over to my trailer is. His name Jesse
        who autistic is. The boy's lack of communication and social skills
        him prevents from attaining his true age. I tried engaging Jes in a
        card game called Deuces but the boy little interest shown. He's a
        very cute Indian youth. Nice butt on him.


     My eyes widen in surprise. Is this a true translation or did Eli Kie add
  those last comments about Jesse? I couldn't make out Ron's handwriting for
  this entry when trying to translate it myself. I'm looking for other sheets
  that bear a colored tab on their side. Here's one:

        July 12, 2002

        When with RW love making, his nephew in our room came. He saw and
        ran. The boy calmed down when talking about it and allowed we did
        to us watch. I think he excited was to us fucking see.


     I know this happened from what Jesse told me. How did I miss translating
  this from Ron's diary? Oh, yeah. I'd skipped a bunch of entries when I was
  tasked by Hawk-swooping-down to look for names like Miss Thomas instead of
  working on the diary straight through.

     I'm going through the stack of sheets to find the next ones with colored
  tabs. Here's two of them:

        August 19, 2002

        My lover's nephew and I talked about what gay is. I suspect very
        much that he is but I'll not jump the boy's ass difficult as that
        will prove! He's shy, wanting for attention that I give with our
        talks and my arm around him. What a cute boy.


        September 25, 2002

        Jes knew not about taking pleasure in hand so I relieved us both
        though he embarrassed for the sticky mess afterwards. My hope is
        that more sex with this boy to be had. I shouldn't though.


     Again, this is something Jes has admitted to me. Ron showed him how to
  beat off and I'm angry that this man wanted to do more with him. They did.
  I'm anxiously skipping through the pile of sheets to ones with a colored tabs
  to find out what else Ron wrote in his diary about Jes.

        October 12, 2002

        RW's nephew from school to my trailer brought. My lover working
        nights so I'm glad to this task for him do. I helped with the boy's
        homework and later, we into bed go for another lesson. I sucked on
        his shy pole but my efforts rewarded. A very sweet boy!


        October 27, 2002

        I surprised was when Jes to my trailer on a visit came. We talked
        about his uncle who was of a ritual partaking. The boy excited was.
        I so horny was from not seeing Running Water so I on his pole
        sucked. Jes turned around and before I realized it, my cock in his
        butt went. He allowed me to him ride. Oh, God! He's tight but I
        pulled out to his cheeks shot. Jes assured me it okay was. He likes
        to fucked get.


        November 5, 2002

        I'm the boy seeing more than I here write. He allows my hands all
        over his brown slim form with his release in my hand or to suck on
        his 'thing' that Jes his dick calls. So stiff, yet not often I will
        from it drink. Always out in my handling. The boy turns around to
        my need satisfy. A condom him hurts so I ride bareback and pull out.
        This day, he forced my sperm to shoot inside when his hands reached
        back to my ass and our bodies together stayed. The look on his face
        was most endearing to be by a man filled. He like a woman is in
        this desire so when we fuck, I keep our bodies joined at mating's
        end as he wants. It lucky is that the boy can't my child bear.


     I'm bowing my head. Everything I've read is true since Jes has told me
  how Ron started cumming in him as he wanted. My trembling hand reaches to
  the next colored tab. I pull out this sheet and read:

        November 21, 2002

        I have today Jes seen. This boy is a pleasure to with be and to my
        bed he came. My cock enjoyed inside rubbing Jesse's tight butt. He
        my seed stole yet again.


     I had failed to translate much of this entry myself. All I could make out
  from Ron's handwriting was that he'd seen Jes and enjoyed rubbing inside his
  tight butt. Eli Kie isn't embellishing what Ron had wrote. If Winna were to
  have read this... Man! The following sheet bears no date. Oh. This is Ron's
  sick poem:

        A willing partner, Jes in my bed is. He enjoys to be sucked. After
        my hands explore his brown smooth skin down to wonderful twin
        hills, his deep valley is tasted. I with spit prepared him. As
        the keen eagle, I down fly and in his rabbit hole go. The joy of
        it! Jes joins in my cries. At my ending, he holds me close so that
        it is I who escape doesn't.

        We watched have been. It the boy's uncle is. Not angry as I
        feared, my lover his clothes remove and he on our bed comes. Next
        to Jes he lies. Waiting. My hands over his back in massage. Their
        hands holding with eyes at the other in knowing smiles. My eagle
        again flies down. When I am done, two butts with my love filled
        are. In me no shame. They turn so to backs touching, hands finding
        when their two butts rubbed in Indian ritual are.


     Eli Kie's translation is missing two last important words: 'I wish'.
  That's how I realized what Ron had written was a fantasy about being with
  Jesse and Running Water together in his bed. It didn't actually happen.

     I'm looking for the next colored tab but there are no more. The last sheet
  catches my eye:

        November 22, 2002

        After with Thomas met, my vision to him led.
        I have it!


     Yeah. Ron stole back the tribe's Power Bundle from Eli Kie and he was
  murdered because of it. My hands are shaking when I toss this last sheet to
  the pile. A strong resolve comes in me to destroy this shit. I'll burn it!
  I'm gathering up the stack of papers and the envelope in my hands and as I'm
  walking into the kitchen, a knock is heard on the front door. Dread fills me.

     I'm looking around for where I can hide this stuff. The trash bin under
  the sink comes to mind. It's nearly full so the stack of papers are shoved
  down deep and covered over with trash. I run down the hall to answer the
  door. It's Charlie.

     "Mike..." the man breathes with relief. "Is everything alright here?"

     "Yeah. Jesse is sleeping." I'm given sharp eyes by Charlie and I sense
  his concern for me. My breaths are rushing through my mouth and my face is
  flushed. He thinks something is wrong.

     "Where is Hawk Flying Over? He was supposed to be guarding over the house
  until I came to relieve him."

     "He's driving Simon home."

     "Simon? Is he that kid who was holding an umbrella for Jesse during the
  protest?"

     "Yeah. He lives deep in the reservation so Hawk Flying Over is driving him
  back to his grandfather's trailer before the roads get too muddy." An uneasy
  silence follows. I get the impression that Charlie wants to come in.

     "Can I use the bathroom?"

     "Sure." I'm stepping back and let the man pass me in the hall. He enters
  the bathroom. I look out the door dreading Winna's arrival. It's raining
  something fierce. The wind is blowing. My thoughts turn to what I've hidden
  in the kitchen that must be attended to before her return.

     The bathroom door opens to my surprise. How did Charlie relieve himself so
  quickly? I need to get him out of the house.

     "Mike?"

     "What is it?" The man drops his eyes to his feet.

     "Has Jesse told you about me?"

     "Huh? Oh, that. I'm not mad at you 'cause boys do things at that age."

     "I hope he doesn't think badly of me."

     "He's not." I'm smiling shyly. We stare at each other and I Glean another
  concern in him. A silly one. The man is about to voice that he's not gay when
  he closes his mouth after a second thought.

     "I'm very happy for both of you, Mike."

     "Thank you. Oh. He-who-runs-up-mountains will be marrying us on the 24th.
  Would you like to attend the ceremony?" Charlie grows wide in the eyes.

     "Sure... Sure, I would. Congratulations!"

     I shake the man's hand he offers me. We smile shyly at each other then
  stand apart in the hall.

     "What day is that on?"

     "Saturday. Grandfather will perform it somewhere in the reservation though
  I don't know where that is myself yet. I'll let you know."

     "Sure." Charlie nods and keeps that big grin on his face.

     I'm glad that someone white is happy for me, for Jes and me that is. I
  lead Charlie towards the front door. He's not even gay but accepts that guys
  like us can marry. Maybe there's hope for us yet. I feel the cold spray of
  rain on my face when opening the front door. "Do you want an umbrella?" I'm
  pointing to the coat rack where a yellow umbrella hangs down from it.

     "No, thanks. I'll just make a dash for it."

     "Charlie?" The man turns to me as he's standing in the open door. "I want
  to thank you for taking the time to guard over our house."

     "I'm glad to do it."

     I watch Charlie running towards the street. He's lost from sight by the
  torrential downpour and I'm struggling to close the door against the wind.
  It's not locked this time. Winna will likely be loaded down with groceries so
  I don't want her getting more wet than she'll be by having to use her key.

     I walk down the hall towards the kitchen. My hand reaches up to feel the
  hair at the back of my head. Hmm. It's getting long there. I envy Charlie's
  golden lengths that fall past his shoulders. Musta taken him years to grow it
  that long while I've only just started my pony tail.

     In the kitchen, a lighter is found in a drawer and pocketed. The trash bin
  is pulled out from under the sink. I'm startled when the telephone rings.
  Damn! I'll let the answering machine take that call since I've a task to
  perform before Winna returns home. I'm digging into the bin for those papers.
  Ah. There's the FedEx envelope.

     Beep. "Hello, Mr. Yager. My name is Sue and I'd like to interview you on
  behalf of The Voice. That's a Blackfoot newspaper..."

     Another voice is heard speaking to Sue in Siksika. It's so soft that I can
  barely make it out.

     "Don't waste... breath... a machine. That white skin won't... you."

     Anger fills me. I'm rushing to the kitchen table and lift the phone.
  "Hello? This is Mike!"

     "Mr. Yager. I'm glad to have reached you."

     "Sorry about the machine. It answered the phone before I could."

     "Yes. My mother hates those things. I'm Sue from The Voice. That's a
  newspaper distributed amongst the Blackfoot People. If I may, I'd like to
  interview you."

     "I'm sorry. My lawyer has advised me not to talk with reporters."

     "I can understand that, Mike. The People are curious to know who you are
  as a person. You've been involved in some important events that concern our
  shaman, his grandson Jes-ee-ah and the tribe's stolen Power Bundle amongst
  other things. We've only caught glimpses of you at the meetings. Do you have
  time now to answer some questions with me over the phone?"

     "I'm in the middle of something important right now. Sorry." My eyes fall
  to the trash bin standing in front of the sink.

     "How about a little later from now?" Sue asks.

     "Why the rush? You could come over to see me tomorrow."

     "I have a deadline to meet for my article to make it in Wednesday's paper.
  I think it's important that the People get to know who you are, Mike. I
  promise that I'll only print what you're willing to tell me about yourself.
  The People want to support you in the troubles that you face because you've
  risked yourself for us. That's why they attended that protest in front of the
  police station. Can you spare half an hour with me today? Please. I think
  it's important for you to do this."

     I'm thinking it over when Sue speaks again.

     "Is it true that you want to be adopted into our tribe?"

     "Yes..." She's sucking me in to answering her questions over the phone. I
  realize that it's important to let the People know about me. They've come out
  to the protest on my behalf like she's said. "Why not come over to the house
  today and ask your questions?" I'm feeling desperate to destroy those papers
  sitting in the trash bin.

     "Would an hour from now be fine?"

     I'm cringing inside. "Do you know where I live?"

     "Mrs. Winnapah's house, right?"

     "Yeah. It's raining something fierce right now."

     "That's alright, Mike. Your friend had endured hours of downpour when he
  led the People in protest the other day."

     "He's caught the flu because of it."

     "I am sorry to hear about that! How is Jes-ee-ah?"

     "Better today. He's sleeping now so you won't be able to interview him."

     "I wouldn't impose myself on your sick friend. My article will be about
  you, Mike. Where you come from, what you do for a living and what's brought
  you here to Havre. It shouldn't take more than half an hour of your time.
  Is that alright with you?"

     "Sure. An hour from now?"

     "Yes. I'll be coming from Chinook so it shouldn't take me longer than that
  to drive over. I really appreciate this. The People want to know who you are
  and so do I, Mike. Thank you."

     "Goodbye." When I'm hanging up the phone, Winna is seen behind me with
  groceries in both arms. She drops them on the table. I look towards the sink
  with utter dread. The trash bin is in plain sight with that FedEx envelope
  sticking out from it.

     "Who was that on the phone?" asks Winna.

     "A woman named Sue who's coming out to interview me in about an hour."
  Winna gives me a sour look. "She's a reporter from The Voice. Have you heard
  of it?"

     "Yes. It's the main Blackfoot newspaper." Winna thinks for a moment.
  "Why does Sue want to interview you?"

     "She says that the People are curious about me."

     "Mike. I think it'll be good opportunity for you." Winna's eyes flare.
  "Please don't tell Sue too much."

     "I'm not gonna say anything about me and Jesse. We're just 'friends'."
  It's my turn to flare my eyes. Winna releases a sigh of relief. She's been
  taking things out of her bags and setting them on the table. I tense up when
  she approaches the sink. A grocery receipt is tossed into the trash bin.

     "Mike?"

     "Yeah..." I'm steeling myself against what she may ask me. That FedEx
  envelope bears her name on it and how can she not notice it sticking out of
  the trash bin at her feet?

     "Where is Simon?"

     Relief fills me. "Hawk Flying Over is driving him home." The woman nods,
  a sense of relief showing on her face. She returns to the kitchen table to
  unload her groceries. I'm slowly making my way towards the sink. The trash
  bin is blocked from her view when I stand in front of it.

     "How is my son?" asks Winna.

     "Tired. He's sleeping right now." I'm trying to come up with a plan to get
  that FedEx envelope and papers out of the trash bin without her noticing.
  Maybe I should just stick it back under the sink. Winna wads up some plastic
  bags that held her groceries and comes towards me. I have to step aside.

     "Could you take out the trash for me?"

     "Sure!" I'm spinning over my feet and watch Winna pushing down the trash
  before drawing the bag's plastic strings to close it tight. She hands it over
  to me.

     "The garbage can is set along the side of the garage. Oh. It's really
  raining hard right now so maybe..."

     "I don't mind, Winna. Really!" She gives me that Look but I'm already
  running off towards the back of the house with the trash bag held in both
  hands. Relief fills me when I make it outside. Rain drenches me. I'm running
  towards the garage and enter through its side entrance.

     A search is made for something that I can burn the papers in. I find an
  old Weber cooker. It's leaning against a wall with a broken support leg. I
  rip open the garbage bag, remove the FedEx envelope and all the papers that
  had come with it. I make sure that the cover page is also in my possession.
  After checking the trash bag for any papers I may have missed, they're placed
  into the Weber cooker. It's carried to the side entrance.

     The lighter is taken from my pocket in my trembling hand. I set the papers
  on fire. When they're burning good, the dome lid is set over the cooker. Its
  vent is opened. White smoke billows out and into the garage. That's a concern
  so I'm carrying the Weber outside into the pouring rain and I walk along the
  side of the garage, past the garbage can until I reach a fence that borders
  the woods.

     Smoke pouring out of the vent for a while. I'm getting soaked to the skin
  from the rain but it doesn't matter. Now, Winna won't learn what Ron has done
  with her son. Pah on Eli Kie! His wildly thrown spear from afar has missed.

     I'm lifting the dome lid. Only ash remains in the cooker but to make sure
  of the paper's destruction, I find a stick and stir things around until the
  rain makes mush of it all. Then I'm carrying the Weber back to the garbage
  can. I dump its contents in there. Remembering the trash bag left in the
  garage, I return for it (setting the Weber cooker along the wall where I've
  found it) and toss it into the garbage can. I breathe a sigh of relief.

     I'm shivering when returning to the house. My shoes are cast off at the
  back porch and my wet socks removed. I tiptoe towards the bedrooms. Winna is
  seen in the kitchen but before she spots me, I'm rushing through the right
  hand door and close it softly behind me. Jesse is still sleeping in bed. I
  strip out of my wet clothes and fetch clean ones to wear. There's a cloth
  found in one of the drawers which I use to dry my hair and body with before
  I'll dress.

     :What's all the excitement about, love?:

     I turn to Jesse in the dark. :Did I awaken you?:

     :Not really. Have I slept long?: Asks Jesse.

     :A few hours. Your mom has returned and Hawk Flying Over is driving Simon
  back home.: I'm bursting to tell him the real news.

     :I Sense something wrong. What is it, love?:

     I'm leaping into bed and slip under the blanket to join my lover. He feels
  nice and warm in my arms when we embrace.

     :You're so cold, love, and you smell like smoke!:

     I'm holding Jesse really tight. :I've saved us!: My lover wants to know
  what I mean so I'm Opening myself to him. That Pulling sensation is felt in
  my head when he learns about that FedEx envelope intended for his mother,
  what Ron had written about him in his diary and how I've burned it outside
  the garage.

     :Mike!:

     I'm given Jesse's kiss of gratitude that turns into something more. Our
  bodies start moving together. My cock presses against soft cloth so I reach
  low to pull down my lover's underwear. Our loins come together in naked
  warmth and our cocks stiffen, mashing together while we kiss and rub over
  each other's back in growing passion. We're expressing our tremendous relief
  that Eli Kie has failed to strike that blow against us. I've stopped him!

    Jesse pulls from my lips and releases a lusty breath against my face. I'm
  breathing him in. A sweaty smell and the stink of his unwashed body. My cock
  tingles with lust. To my surprise, he turns away from me. Oh. I know why.
  His butt humps suggestingly against my groin while I Feel his desire for me
  to fuck him. My arms wrap around his slim form, hands locking over his chest
  that pins his arms to his side. I tighten my embrace so he can't move.

     :You don't have to rape me, love. I'm letting you have my butt!:

     I'm laughing out loud. :Can I just hold you for a while?:

     :Sure.:

     My arms relax around Jesse. His long hair has spilled to our right
  shoulders that exposes most of his neck to me. I kiss him there. Tenderly.
  :Jes?:

     :What is it, love?:

     I'm reluctant to Talk about it now but I plod on ahead. :About Simon...:

     :You didn't listen to your thing and rape the boy as much as I know he
  wants us to.:

     :It's not that.: My kisses wander to Jesse's left shoulder. He begins to
  moan from the pleasure I'm giving him. :My love? I think you're listening to
  your butt too much.:

     Jesse giggles. :You mean when I want to get it raped?:

     :Yeah.: What Ron had written in his diary only confirms my concern. Jes
  had his butt broken in by that horny bastard and he thinks Simon should have
  too. By us. But back to my main thought. My lover gets very excited when his
  butt can be given to someone. First Ron, then me and I suspect that Simon
  would have jumped him if I hadn't returned to the bedroom and caught them
  beating off. The boy had been sitting on Jesse's butt. That thrilled my
  lover so much that he rubbed himself against the bed sheets. :We aren't gonna
  have sex with Simon anymore. Right?:

     :Your charge will have to experience what it's like to get fucked by
  someone else.:

     I'm Feeling Jesse's disappointment and real anger from him. That makes me
  reluctant to Say anything more.

     :I'm sorry, love. I shouldn't have Said that.:

     :That's not what concerns me.: I wet my lips and put my thoughts in order
  before I Speak again mind to mind. :It's you that I'm worried about.:

     :Me?: Asks Jesse.

     :Yeah. You've got a hot ass.: I'm reaching down to fondle his soft cheeks
  and Jesse moans in response. His desire for me to fuck him becomes strong.
  :Would you have let Simon use your butt if I hadn't come back to our room?:

     :You've already let the boy fuck yours, remember?:

     Shame fills me in remembrance. Simon did me after Running Water gave his
  ass to him on the river bank. :What about giving yours to the boy? I don't
  think you should.:

     :I wouldn't have let Simon fuck me in our bed. Not without you there and
  besides, he promised grandfather that he wouldn't have sex with us in my
  mother's house.:

     :Yeah...: Why is it so hard to come right out and Tell him what concerns
  me? It's not just about Simon. My hand gooses his butt cheek when I Ask,
  :What about other guys who'd want to fuck you?:

     :Charms A Bird has protected us both from sexual diseases.:

     :Will you be giving yourself to other men?: There. I've Said it.

     :You mean like how Running Water went to Bearpaw for sex? No, love. I'm
  not going to let men fuck me in the dark.:

     Relief fills me but only for a moment. :What about someone you may meet
  in the tribe who's discovering that he's gay.:

     :If having sex will help him come to terms with that, I will. Owopspec
  gave himself to the needing men of his tribe. He knew them. I'm Mahyee-na so
  it's my sacred duty to help those who share our spirit.:

     :With your butt?:

     :Love! It's much more than that. You're already being Mahyee-na by helping
  a young charge understand what it means to be gay by talking about it though
  you won't be offering the boy sexual relief. I disagree with that.:

     :And you will?: I Ask.

     Jesse releases a sharp breath. :Let's talk about it another time.:

     I knew that he still wants to have sex with Simon!

     :There are other gay youths and men discovering that they're gay who need
  our help. We've been Geased by the Power Bundle's spirit to do so. Charms A
  Bird has Shown me how to go about this based on his many lives of experience.
  He is the Leader of the Mahyee-na.:

     :And we're both members of that gay society?:

     "Yes."

     Jesse said that out loud. He's broken mind contact to prevent me from
  learning more about what took place in the motel room with that Omaha shaman.

     "Can you kiss me some more, love?"

     I release my held breath gently through my mouth and return to kissing
  Jesse's neck. His lime smell and strong odor of sweat is a real turn on. My
  cock throbs against his butt. I'm resisting my lustful urges to simply hold
  my lover. I nibble my way up to his left ear, tonguing into it in a tease.
  A whisper comes from my mouth that only he can hear. "I love you very much."
  Jes turns his head from side to side and tickles my chest and neck with his
  long hair. :You haven't braided it yet.:

     :For you, love. I know that you like me to wear it long and loose. Oh! My
  mother wants to give you a trim tonight so you'll look good for... tomorrow.:

     Jesse didn't mean to remind me about court. I won't let that get me in a
  gloomy mood. :That's good. I'll ask her not to cut the length I'm growing
  down the back of my head.:

     :Short Hair!:

     I know what Jes means. He may have to give me a new name if I'm growing my
  hair long. :I'll remain the man that you first saw and fell in love with from
  the front of me. Would you mind if I end up with a pony tail in back?:

     :No, love! You'll almost look like an Indian.:

     Jes has struck upon my secret desire though my pale skin will always set
  me apart from the Blackfoot.

     :Mike. You are already part of my People as you were in former days but
  unlike Christopher and Owopspec, we have a chance to find acceptance in their
  eyes for being a couple. That in turn will help others in our tribe walk in
  the Light by being true to their spirit.:

     :Sure.: Yet I'll never truly be an Indian.

     :I've Heard your disappointment, love. Don't be. Why try to be something
  you're not? Be proud of your white heritage which has some Native blood
  coming down through your mother. The People aren't all brown skinned, black
  eyed and have long hair yet they are members of the Blackfoot. You have been
  and are part of our tribe. I love you for the way you are! Your pale skin,
  sky blue eyes, the soft golden hair covering your arms and chest that tickles
  against my smoothness. All this excites me! From inside, I See your good
  heart. The People will too when they get to know you.:

     I'm squeezing Jesse in my arms.

     :You have found that Indian warrior you've wanted to love since boyhood.
  My slim brown form, dark eyes and long black hair appeals to your eyes and
  senses, do they not, love?:

     :Yes. Don't forget about your soft Indian accent.:

     "I haven't, Short Hair. You like my little butt too, huh pale face?"

     I'm laughing to hear Jesse talking like that out loud. He wiggles his
  soft behind against my cock and I'm hard pressed not to fuck him as much as
  we'd both like to right now. :I relish our differences, my love. I'll no
  longer try to be what I'm not.:

     :That is good, love. You've taken another step along the good red road.:

     I'm struck by something. :You are so grown up since we first met.:

     :That's because of you! Being autistic trapped who I was inside my head
  while everything all around me kept pouring in like an unstoppable flood.
  It hurt me to hear, to see and from my special gift, to know a person's
  thoughts and feelings without being able to shut that off. Your Connection
  to me has given me peace of mind. I'm no longer drowned out by others.:

     :Yet you still have to deal with my thoughts. Some are unworthy.:

     :You are only human, love. I've learned so much from you in these past
  weeks! That's allowed who I am to come out without being so scared of the
  real world. I've drawn on you to become more mature and now, I can draw on
  the experiences of my former self.:

     :Have you remained you?: I Ask with concern.

     :I'm no longer that shy kid who couldn't shake your hand after class,:
  Answers Jesse. :The heart of who I am remains. What I believe in, cherish,
  and hope to achieve is the same. What I've learned from you and Good-eyes is
  how to be a man.:

     :You've helped me to become a man, too. A very happy one! No longer am I
  alone or feeling wretched for being gay. You complete that missing part of me
  and I've been made whole.: In a strong joyous voice, "So much do I love you!"

     "I love you, other self!"

     At Jesse's spoken invocation, we become One. It's like what happened to
  us yesterday when I was close to death. My other self brought me back after I
  nearly poured all of myself into him when his life force was fading yet we
  are in control of our Sharing now. Utterly together, yet remaining separate.
  We Feel both our bodies lying close together and relish that sensation. We
  Share thoughts and feelings with an ease even beyond our usual Connection.
  It's difficult to describe. We surrender ourselves to the bliss that comes
  from being One...

     'Owopspec? I can touch you!'

     'Yes, Kris. Our reborn selves have struck the meeting pole where we can be
  together as it was.'

     'I am with you. More than we ever were before and it is joyous! Your
  thoughts are clear as if speakin' to me. I See you! I Feel you!'

     'Your arms are around me like before, love. Let us become one body. Enter
  my squawness to give meaning to your manhood in joy for us both.'

     'I want to, Owopspec but part of me... He is content to simply hold you.'

     'Then do so. It is enough to share bodily warmth.'

     'We See each other!'

     'Yes. I often Felt your stronger thoughts and feelings though you couldn't
  know mine.'

     'That's not so! You revealed them on your brown face fer me. I heard it
  in your voice and the tenderness of your hand rubbin' over my face.'

     'I was most attracted to your freckles, Kris.'

     'They were left behind when I was reborn.'

     'Do not be sad. You've been given a second chance at life as I have. All
  that you were has Merged with this man Jes-ee-ah loves.'

     'I am glad that you didn't take him over, Owopspec. He is special somehow
  though I canna explain what I mean. His spirit is yours yet... his mind and
  heart give it a path towards somethin' you couldn't quite reach.'

     'Your wisdom surprises me, Kris. I shouldn't be and I'm sorry that my eyes
  always saw you as that kid I'd stolen from his white People. Frightened, yet
  wanting for my love and guidance.'

     'You taught me well! If only we'd been permitted to share a longer life
  together, you would have been proud of me.'

     'Oh, Kris. I am proud of you. It was your warning that I heeded when great
  need strove in me to take over Jes-ee-ah.'

     'More than my warning. I swore not to be with you if you possessed him. My
  vow still holds, Owopspec.'

     'That great need has passed to another Inspired One. Put your concerns
  aside for now.'

     'Then let us be together without a care fer anything but the joy of this
  moment. Our reborn selves have permitted it.'

     'Yes. I love you, Krist-o-fer.'

     'I know. I've seen glimpses of your love fer me in Jes-ee-ah's eyes. From
  both of you to who I was and have become.'

     'Enough talk. Like chattering birds are you pale faces!'

     'I am gonna bite off your ear so you won't have to!'

     :That hurt, Mike! Why did you... Oh.:

     Jes and I resume control of ourselves. His left ear is smarting from
  Christopher's mean bite. Man! That youth can be quite a hot head.

     :So can you, love.:

     Yeah. I know what he means. That joyous Oneness in us fades to our usual
  Connection that still Passes our thoughts and feelings to each other. Those
  Voices from our former selves become silent.

     :Until we strike the meeting pole again,: Says Jesse.

     I'm in awe that we Reached that place where all ourselves can meet. A rush
  of air blows through my nose. I kiss my lover's neck, palm over his erected
  nipples and my cock teases against the entrance to his butt. He sighs with
  contentment in my arms. :Owopspec had a hot butt too.:

     :More than mine, love! He wanted Chris to become one body with him but you
  held your former self back. Dummy!:

     :That's not true. If Chris wanted to fuck Owopspec, he would have. We both
  didn't want to stick into your dirty ass.:

     :Your thing can't taste its yuckiness.: Jesse backs himself hard.

     "Hey!" I'm shouting in dismay. :Let's wait until after my interview, okay?
  Take a shower and then I can enjoy eating out your clean little butt.: I'm
  pulling my knob out of his asshole. I was very nearly tempted to stick all
  the way into his slimy tightness.

     :Alright. I'm going to hold you to your promise, love.:

     :I don't reckon it'll be a hard one to keep. Both you and Owopspec want it
  bad, huh?:

     "My squawness gives meaning to your manhood in joy for us both." Jesse
  giggles. :My former self knew how to say how it is.:

     :Don't I know it! With his sweet talk, he'd gotten his ass filled from
  needing tribesmen as well as from Wind-go-through-his-hair and Chris nearly
  every morning and night! Don't you dare turn into a butt slut.:

     Jesse doesn't Answer me. I hear him yawning and Sense his need to sleep
  some more. He's been doing that all day. It's a good sign after an illness.
  His body has fought off the flu that came about from an evil spell cast on
  him at the protest. Hmm. I wonder if Simon is getting sick? He'd felt hot in
  my arms right before he left with Hawk Flying Over.

     Jesse adjusts the pillow beneath his head. His body relaxes next to me
  and in the next moment, I hear his soft snoring. I'm holding my lover close.


     There's a knock on our bedroom door. My interview! I'd nearly forgotten it
  so I gently pull myself from Jesse and get out of bed. He awakens. The lamp
  is switched on by him and he wearily smiles up at me. :I have to go do that
  interview. Your mom will watch over you in my absence, my love.:

     :Yes. With her eyes. You are ever Watching over me, love.:

     I cover my heart with my right hand. We look at each other with the utter
  understanding that comes from being Connected. We may physically part for a
  time (and how that aches!) yet we're never really alone.

     Jes looks past me to the bedroom door where his mother stands. I tense up.
  The woman sees the back of my nude body so I'm getting into some clothes. She
  strides over to the bed.

     "How are you, honey?" Winna asks.

     "A little better, mom. My arms still ache me." Jesse yawns. "I'm feeling
  tired so can you watch over me when I try to get back to sleep?"

     "Have I not done so when you were my little boy?"

     Jesse smiles. "Yes. You haven't sung to me for a long while. I've not
  outgrown that."

     I'm pulling on my shirt and button it. When Jes settles himself in the bed
  and closes his eyes, Winna sits close beside him. She used to sing her son to
  sleep? That's something I never knew about my lover. The woman and I exchange
  knowing glances. We each have our proper place at this young man's side and
  acknowledge that.

     "The two women are waiting for you in the front room, Mike."

     Two women? Who has Sue brought along with her to my interview? I'm nodding
  to Winna. She scoots closer to her son and catches Brown Bear when he tumbles
  forward, setting him back in his place between the pillows. His black button
  eyes seem to be glistening. 'Don't be sad,' I'm asking him. With an effort, I
  turn from them and make my way out of the bedroom. The door is gently closed
  behind me but not before I hear Winna singing. A soothing song that Chris has
  heard from Owopspec's lips. More than being my lover, he was both a mother
  and father to me after I lost my parents. It was good being with him again a
  little while ago.

     Slow are my steps through the kitchen. A quick glance at the clock shows
  that it's after three. I tuck my shirt into my jeans and comb fingers
  through my hair so I'll look presentable. This interview. Man! I'm not
  looking forward to it. At least Sue isn't a reporter from a T.V. station with
  bright camera lights to videotape me while I'm grilled with questions. She's
  from 'The Voice' newspaper distributed by the Blackfoot themselves.

     I pass through the dining room, take a deep breath, then enter the front
  room where two women are sitting on the couch. One old and one young. Winna's
  comfort chair has been turned around and faces them with the coffee table
  between us. They look up at my approach. I'm putting on a smile for them.

     "Hello Mr. Yager," greets the younger woman when she rises from the couch.
  "I want to thank you for granting this interview. She offers to shake hands.

     I'm doing so but become shy. It's not a thing done between a man and a
  women in Christopher's time and even as Mike, I feel uncomfortable with it.
  "Hello." The older woman remains sitting and doesn't acknowledge me.

     "I am called Sue Slings-firewood-over-her-shoulders and this is my mother,
  Brings Wood. How is Jes-ee-ah?"

     "A little better. He's sleeping now." I've said that so Sue won't ask to
  interview him. When the young woman returns to her mother's side, I take my
  seat in the comfort chair. I'm noticing how Brings Wood is keeping her eyes
  averted from me. She's really old. There are long white streaks in her hair
  and weathered cracks in her face. Her daughter appears to be in her thirties.
  Shoulder length hair. A nice smooth skinned face. Soft brown eyes. She's a
  bit plump like Winna yet taller. Both women are dressed casually but are
  adorned with turquoise necklaces and earrings.

     "I understand that you're going to court tomorrow," asks Sue.

     My stomach tightens in fear for being reminded about that. The smile
  disappears from my lips.

     "We're not here to ask about your legal troubles unless you wish to
  volunteer anything. The People are curious about you. Who you are. How you
  came to be involved with the Blackfoot and why you've acted to help in our
  struggles."

     I won't reveal that I've done so because of Jesse, who we are to each
  other yet I'm sure that's bound to come up.

     "Let's start at the beginning if we may," asks Sue. "When did you come to
  Montana and why?"

     I'm wetting my lips. "It was for vacation. I arrived in Havre on December
  29th and rented a trailer for my stay here until June." She writes that down
  on her yellow pad.

     "Where do you come from?"

     "Indianapolis, Indiana."

     "Is that your home state?"

     "Yes." I'm keeping my answers short so I won't be revealing too much about
  myself all at once. The more difficult questions will come. I'll try to be
  even more concise with those.

     "How old are you?"

     "Twenty five."

     "What is your employment?" asks Sue.

     "I was a computer programmer with the Learning Tree Company. They develop
  children's educational programs for schools primarily. Some of their titles
  are selling in the stores for home use."

     "You no longer work for them?"

     "No." Sue looks at me so I'll elaborate. "I've burnt out on programming.
  That's why I was taking half a year off from the company with a vacation but
  I'm not going back."

     "Why did you come here?"

     "Uhm. It was the farthest place I could think of from Indiana." I'm not
  gonna admit it's because I wanted to see Indians and find a warrior whom I
  was yearning to fall in love with.

     "How did you meet Jes-ee-ah?"

     Here it comes. "I was teaching an MS-Word class at the local college and
  Winna was one of my students. She brought her son with her."

     "Did that lead to you tutoring him?"

     "I showed him things on the computer so he could help his mom. He's a fast
  learning. Winna needs to learn MS-Word for her secretarial work." I'm wetting
  my lips.

     "It's said that Jes-ee-ah underwent a remarkable change because of you."

     I'm keeping very still in my chair. Am I expected to answer that? Yeah.
  "Winna invited me over for dinner a couple of times and I talked with him."

     "He's autistic. No one outside his family has been able to speak with him
  and now, Jes-ee-ah has come out of himself to assume his responsibilities in
  the tribe. He'll undergo training to be shaman. At last Thursday's meeting,
  he was made war leader of that protest outside the police station."

     "Yes. That's so."

     "Mr. Yager. What did you do to help Jes-ee-ah overcome his disability?"

     The old woman looks at me. It's the first time that we've had eye contact
  and I'm reluctant to say anything. I Sense a sharpness in her. Maybe she
  already suspects what my relationship is to Jesse and wants to hear it.

     "If that wasn't due to your efforts, do you know how it happened?"

     "Jes-ee-ah was shy when we first met. I didn't realize he was autistic but
  his interest in computers helped me draw him out."

     "Ah, yes. Whatever you did changed him profoundly. Jes-ee-ah has been in
  special programs for years where experienced therapists were working with
  him. Now, it's like he never suffered from autism."

     I'm shrugging my shoulders. Sue stops staring at me when she realizes that
  I'm not gonna answer towards that.

     "You became involved in a struggle concerning our tribe's Power Bundle.
  Without getting into the legal aspect of that, what can you tell us? It was
  found in that trailer you were renting?"

     "Yes. Ron Earlman had recovered it from Eli Kie and hidden it under the
  floorboards in his bedroom before he was murdered."

     "How did you know it was there?"

     "Grandfather Saw that we would find it in a vision." I'm squeezing my lips
  tightly together.

     "You and Jes-ee-ah."

     I'm nodding.

     "Since then, you've been living here with him."

     I'm swallowing nervously in my throat. "My trailer had been torn up by
  whom I suspect was Eli Kie in his search for that Power Bundle. The park
  manager cleaned out my trailer of stuff and put it into storage after Lt.
  Scott Danielson told him I'd run off. That was a lie. My attorney is working
  on getting my belongings returned to me. Winna is letting me stay here."

     "There are tribesmen guarding over this house. Why?"

     "To protect us from Eli Kie. He's murdered three people and is still on
  the run from the law."

     Sue's eyes widen. "You know for a fact that Lt. Scott Danielson and Miss
  Thomas were murdered by him?"

     "The police have evidence to strongly suggest this. Don't forget about Ron
  Earlman. That evil man murdered him too." I'm clenching my teeth together to
  prevent myself from saying more.

     "Why would Eli Kie come after you now?" asks Sue. "He has what he wants."

     "Not entirely..." My mouth shuts. The old woman startles me when she
  speaks Siksika in her cracked voice. There's power in her words!

     "You can speak our tongue, Short Hair. Is this not so?"

     "Yes, mother." Our eyes meet as if doing battle. I'm trying to Glean
  things from her but cannot. She's also unable to learn anything from me and
  I realize that she has my ability!

     Sue glances at her mother for a moment. "Mr. Yager. How did you learn to
  speak Siksika?"

     "My mother is a quarter Blackfoot."

     "Really! What are your parent's names?"

     "Linda and Michael Yager."

     "What was your mother's name before she married?"

     "Linda Shore. Her mother's name was Betsy With-a-big-voice." I realize
  that I've named the dead out loud and lower my eyes to the coffee table. At
  least I didn't speak that transgression in Siksika.

     "Is your grandmother still living?"

     I'm shrugging my shoulders. "I never knew her." I'm realizing that mom
  stopped taking me to see my grandmother since I was very little. Is she still
  alive in that nursing home?

     "I'm sorry for you," says Sue in a low voice. "It's important to know your
  parent's family because their lives carry on through you. How much Native
  blood do you have?"

     "An eighth. My great grandmother was full Blackfoot who married a white."

     "Would you happen to know their names?" Sue looks doubtful.

     "Yes. My great grandmother was named Shirt-for-man who was nearly sixteen
  when she married my great grandfather who was seventeen. His name was
  Christopher Walker, son of Joshua Walker. His mother was named Lythia." That
  I know the names of my great grandparents and the parents of Chris surprises
  both these women. They'd be shocked out of their seats by the details I could
  give about them coming from the memories of my former self. It's sad that I
  hardly know anything about my grandmother. Sue has written down all the names
  I've given her.

     "Do you have any siblings?"

     "A sister. Her name is Sarah and she's married to James Dunt."

     "Can you tell me about your mother. Is she traditional?"

     "Not really. At least not since I was born."

     "Mr. Yager, ah... Were you raised in Indiana for all of your life?"

     "Yes." Sue glares at me. She's wondering how I know Siksika if not from my
  mother. I'm squirming in my chair.

     "I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Mr. Yager."

     "Please call me Mike."

     "Or would you prefer to be addressed as Short Hair and speak Siksika?"
  asks Brings Wood softly.

     "Very well, mother. I'm sorry that my heart is on guard from answering
  all of your daughter's questions."

     "Don't be. How else are the People to know you?"

     My eyes flare in alarm. "They wouldn't understand... They didn't." I've
  given the hand gesture for ancestors before I could stop myself.

     "Goes-late-in-the-night has told me that you can speak in the old tongue."

     "You've spoken with him?" The old woman nods her head with a toothy grin.

     "His grandson had said that you came to help them with their dwelling. I
  wanted to hear this from Goes-late-in-the-night for myself."

     What did he tell this woman? I hope it wasn't anything about me being
  Simon's monedo where Jes and I are helping this gay youth!

     "You are highly regarded by Sings-as-a-raven's grandfather."

     I make the gesture for acknowledging praise humbly. My hands are then
  folded in front of me to prevent more outbursts from them.

     Sue has been looking at her mother with surprise. I Glean that she didn't
  know about her calling Goes-late-in-the-night right before they came over.
  She turns to me to ask a question.

     "Simon said at the protest that you helped lift up their trailer from the
  mud and if not for your timely arrival, it would have tipped over. His ill
  grandmother was inside."

     "That is so."

     "Please tell us about that, Short Hair."

     Sue has reverted into Siksika so I answer in like kind. I'm giving an
  account of how Running Water's truck had run out of gas on the road, how we
  were walking towards Box Elder and met Goes-late-in-the-night who asked for
  our help. I went with him. Running Water had sprained his ankle and waited on
  the road because we'd left Jes-ee-ah back in the truck. After a long walk, we
  came to the trailer which was sinking fast in a mud hole. Sings-as-a-raven
  and I worked together to lift it up with me cranking a jack under its front
  right axle and the boy setting pairs of logs beneath. Later, Running Water
  arrived with Wind-blows-over-the-grass who'd taken him to Box Elder for gas.
  Running Water used his truck to pull Goes-late-in-the-night's trailer over to
  solid ground.

     "That was very nice of you," comments Sue.

     I accept her praise in silence. Her mother has listened intently to my
  account and I'm Sensing questions in her. What they are I can't Glean but I
  suspect they concern Goes-late-in-the-night's grandson. That could prove ill
  for me if the old woman Gleans that I'm gay or worse, had sex with the boy.
  I keep on my guard.

     "Simon was very protective of Jes-ee-ah at the protest."

     "Yes, he was. Jes was mobbed by reporters but he couldn't answer their
  questions from being so tired and all. The boy did so on his behalf. I think
  it's because of him that the People joined the protest afterwards."

     "That may be," says Brings Wood. "He'd told them about who you are as a
  person and that you're helping the People. That's what my daughter is also
  trying to do for you if you'll let her, Short Hair."

     I want this too yet the truth of my relationship with Jesse shouldn't be
  revealed in mere printed words. It would be better that they see our love
  with their own eyes or told of it from the lips of a woman they respect.
  Would Brings Wood do this thing? I don't know what she thinks of Jes and I.

     "My eyes hurt," whispers the old woman. "Could you get my eye drops from
  the truck, daughter?"

     "Will you excuse me, Mike?" Sue gets to her feet.

     "Sure." The young woman leaves the room to do as her mother has asked. I
  Glean that this is a secret signal between them when Brings Wood wants to
  speak with someone alone. Me. I hear the front door closing after Sue.

     "Be at ease, Short Hair. We can talk freely now and I promise that nothing
  you say will appear in my daughter's talking paper."

     Brings Wood had said that in old Siksika. 'Talking paper' must refer to
  The Voice newspaper and she's promised that what I'll tell her now won't
  appear in print. That doesn't mean our words will be kept between us though.

     "I thought you were another white skin wanna be," whispers Brings Wood.
  "Forgive me."

     "I do, mother." We peer at each other and I Sense the old woman letting up
  on her guard. I'm Gleaning what she thinks about me now. It's filled with
  compassion and an understanding for why I've guarded my words from revealing
  too much to her daughter. She knows about Jesse and me! She accepts it? I
  Open myself to her in return for displaying such trust. Her eyes widen.

     "It is as our Inspired One said at the meeting. You have brought Jes-ee-ah
  out of himself through your love."

     I'm wetting my lips. "That is so."

     "These eyes of mine have seen many things, young one. I don't care if two
  men share a blanket together. What's important is how they act for the People
  and you have proven to be of good heart, Short Hair. Do you act from love for
  them or only because of Jes-ee-ah?"

     "What I've done was to help my companion. I don't know our People that
  well yet but I want to aid them in any way that I can."

     "Their hearts will warm when they get to know you, Short Hair. Will you
  allow me to whisper good things in their ears on your behalf?"

     I'm pressing my hand against my heart. "Yes. I would want that, mother."

     "Very well." Brings Wood gives a toothy grin. "I find it interesting that
  you speak Siksika fluently yet I hear an accent in the old tongue. How is it
  that you can speak them both?"

     How should I answer that? Chris had learned 'Indian' from Owopspec so
  that's why I speak it with a white accent. From my Connection to Jesse, my
  modern Siksika is flawless. The old woman gasps and her eyes widen like
  saucers. She's just Gleaned from me what she wanted to know!

     "You are a... reborn spirit," whispers Brings Wood with awe.

     "Both Jes-ee-ah and I are. Please! This should not be revealed least it
  attract unwanted attention towards us."

     "I understand. You two also bear Power of which one of them is how you
  share my gift."

     She means Gleaning. "Yes, mother." I'm wetting my lips and go for it.
  "The Power Bundle's spirit was Passed into us by grandfather. That is why."

     "Gifts from our Father are given for a reason, Short Hair."

     I'm only nodding and I guard myself from her.

     "Our Inspired One has said that his grandsons are to bring a truth to the
  People. I hope that you two will set a good example from your love."

     She knows! "What will the People think about us?" I ask in a low whisper.

     "Each to their own," answers Brings Wood. "You can't expect everyone to
  accept such a thing. You and Jes-ee-ah walk a more difficult path than others
  but if you remain true to yourselves and act in the Light, then will you find
  happiness and fulfillment no matter what others may think about it."

     "Jes is to follow in his grandfather's footsteps as Inspired One. He needs
  the respect of the People he is to lead."

     "Respect is earned. Jes-ee-ah must prove himself worthy in their eyes and
  more importantly, to our Father. His relationship to you is only one aspect
  of himself that shouldn't interfere in his service unto the People."

     "Yet if they disapprove of that one aspect in my companion, their eyes
  will be closed to the good he can do for them."

     "Blindness is often a human failing," remarks Brings Wood. "Jes-ee-ah has
  been chosen by our Inspired One to serve after him. When he passes initiation
  with the blessing of our Father, the People will accept his leadership. Have
  they not already followed him as war leader?"

     "Yes. Some did." Jes had only led a small group of protesters for most of
  that day. Many more came out after Simon scolded them on T.V. by shaming them
  for not making a show of Blackfoot strength in front of the police station.

     "Will you take advice from an old woman?" asks Brings Wood.

     I'm smiling to myself. That's what grandfather also asked before imparting
  nuggets of his wisdom to Jes and I. "Of course, mother."

     "Take each day at a time. If you look too far ahead, the troubles facing
  you will seem overwhelming. You can't see the aid that may come to you from
  unexpected sources. You are not alone, Short Hair."

     "I thank you for your good words, mother." Yet I'm not assured. Fear
  squeezes my heart when I think about tomorrow and all the other tomorrows
  I'll face when I'm put on trial. How can anyone stop the wheels of 'justice'
  that's set to run me over? My nose pains me when I fight back tears.

     "Light always chases back the dark, my son. Always. Cast out fear and
  doubt and allow hope to fill your heart!"

     Tears run down my cheeks. The old woman smiles with understanding and I
  don't feel shamed before her. "I will cling to hope, mother."

     "It will save you from drowning in woe. Put your heart at ease, my son."

     I'm wiping my face with the back of my hand.

     "Now, where is my daughter?" exclaims Brings Wood. She slowly gets to her
  feet and starts walking towards the hall.

     I'm springing up from my chair. I follow the old woman to the front door
  and we look out at the raging storm.

     "There is an evil smell in the rain."

     "Yes, mother. I have thwarted it from bringing harm to this dwelling."
  Eli Kie's strike against Winna has gone up like smoke in the wind. Literally.

     "Hmm. Do your abilities include bringing back the sun so I won't have to
  get wet?"

     "No, mother. But I can provide you with an umbrella."

     "No need. I see my daughter." Brings Wood waves to summon her daughter
  back to the house.

     Sue is struggling with keeping her red umbrella open against the wind. I
  think she was waiting in the truck until her mother signaled for her return.
  We step back to allow the woman inside. She closes the door behind her.

     "I couldn't find your eye drops," says Sue. "I'm sorry, mother."

     Brings Wood and I exchange knowing glances.

     "You have brought your camera, I see. Good. Let's show the People how
  handsome this young man is."

     Sue picks up on her mother's good mood and smiles at me. Her umbrella is
  closed and hung from the coat rack.

     "May I take some pictures of you, Mike?"

     "Sure. You'll print them in your article about me?"

     "Yes. The best shot I can manage with this thing. I'm rather new to using
  a digital camera."

     "Where do you want to take it?" Sue enters the front room and looks around
  for a good backdrop. I point out an old rug that Winna has hung over her
  wall. "How 'bout there?"

     "Yes. It has nice colors that reminds me of red and blue days of old."

     I get the impression that Brings Wood is referring to the days of my
  former self. Owopspec has told Chris of good 'red and blue days' in fond
  remembrance when the People had a successful buffalo hunt, the birth of a
  child and even quiet days that passed from a fiery morning to bright noon
  and then to the peaceful setting of the sun. He and I had often sat watching
  the end to a glorious day together.

     I return to myself when Sue gets her camera ready. I'm standing in front
  of this multicolored rug. Brings Wood gives me a warm grin. I smile back. At
  that moment, a flash goes off. Sue takes a few more shots but that first one
  of me is the best one, I'll reckon.

     "Thank you, Mike."

     "Sure. Ah, would you like anything to drink? Coffee?"

     "No. Thank you. I need to get back home and work on my article."

     Sue looks at her mother who nods in some secret understanding between
  them. I hope that Brings Wood will be true to her promise. Her daughter's
  article is not the place to reveal my relationship to Jesse.

     "I'll mail you a copy of Wednesday's paper or you can pick one up from our
  Chinook office," says Sue.

     "Go ahead and mail it. I don't know if I'll be in Chinook next week."

     "Alright, Mike. And thank you again for everything."

     Sue is grateful to me for more than just granting her an interview. It's
  for everything I've done for the People. Her mother stands closer to me. When
  she reaches down for my right hand, I lift it into her opening hands. The
  woman's touch is warm. Her gesture reminds me of Owopspec's grandmother who
  held his hand in this gesture of gratitude for bringing her food, firewood or
  simply coming for a visit. I give this woman my warm smile in return.


     Winna has set me over a stool in the kitchen to cut my hair. At her
  bidding, I've undressed down to my underwear. A sheet has been spread over
  the floor beneath me. The buzz of an electric razor fills my right ear. Her
  hand grasps my shoulder while locks of my hair fall down my arm and chest.
  It's a very soothing sensation.

     Jesse is still sleeping. Winna told me that when I found her in the
  kitchen after my guests left. I've assured her that my interview went well.
  She's taking off work tomorrow to attend my court session with Jes. I told
  her that it's not my actual trial because Mr. Talbert will be presenting some
  motions before the judge. She didn't understand when I explained what those
  are; only that it's gonna delay things which pleased her.

     More hair falls down my chest that tickles me so I brush it away. Winna's
  hand feels warm against my shoulder. A mother's touch. Funny how my own mom
  has never given me a hair cut herself. I've been to barbershops, a beauty
  salon (where I endured much pain from the stylist's use of a raw razor) but
  never have I felt so... attended to when under this woman's care. She treats
  me like her own son. I'm not embarrassed to be wearing only underwear but I
  mean to ask her not to enter our bedroom anymore without leave. Would the
  asking offend her? It's not like she's been shocked seeing me with her son.
  Hmm. I am getting used to this woman seeing my nakedness though.

     When my right ear has been trimmed, Winna steps behind me. I'm quick to
  cover the back of my head. "Don't cut my hair there. I want it to grow long."

     "Very well, Mike."

     Winna steps to the left of me. She now grasps my right shoulder and I
  relax when she brings her razor to bear around my ear. I'm closing my eyes
  to enjoy the sensation. Hair falls down my left arm and settles over my
  thigh. The buzzing prevents us from talking which is just as well. The woman
  needs to concentrate on her trimming so I won't end up with a bare spot.

     I'm having to hold breaths when Winna stands in front of me. Her hand
  grasps the back of my neck. Hair rains down the front of me to land on my
  underwear. Now I understand why she wanted me out of my jeans. They'd have to
  be cleaned afterwards. This is my last clean pair to wear before doing
  laundry. I wonder which day she sets aside for washing?

     A sly grin comes to my lips. Our bed sheet bears a number of stains that
  will prove embarrassing. My butt was leaking cum after Jes fucked me this
  morning and he has wet it from rubbing himself when Simon was sitting on his
  butt. That was quite a sight. I'd be really excited too if the boy was
  beating off while our butts touched. That's a very sensual part of a guy's
  body. Being gay allows us to enjoy doing more with our ass than to have it
  held as a woman does to her man when she's getting fucked beneath him.

     The buzzing stops. Winna removes her hand from my neck. I'm shaking my
  head and reach up to brush off any hair clippings that remain. My skin feels
  itchy so I'll take a shower now. "Thank you, mother."

     Winna smiles. "What will you be wearing tomorrow?"

     That's right! "Mr. Talbert suggested that I wear good pants and a shirt to
  court. I've a set of class clothes inside my laptop bag that will do but
  they've been badly wrinkled."

     "I can wash them for you tonight. Gather up your other dirty clothes from
  the bedroom, Mike. That'll give me a full load."

     "I will after Jesse awakens." I'm standing up and brush hair from my body
  but it clings to my underwear no matter how hard I try to scrape it off.

     "Give them to me," Winna asks. "I should have had a towel ready for you."

     "There's some in the bathroom." Oh. She's concerned that my walking there
  will rain hair down to her floor that she'll have to sweep up. Hmm. I'm not
  gonna be putting this pair of underwear back on after showering. After a
  moment deciding the matter, I'm pulling them down. Winna gives me a look
  before averting her eyes. I use the underwear to slap hair clippings from my
  arms and legs. It's a little embarrassing to be standing naked in front of
  this woman but she doesn't seem to mind. In a way, I'm letting her see that
  being gay hasn't made me any less of a man. Physically. My cock still
  performs in a man's way while my butt satisfies my partner's male needs.

     Winna is oiling the razor blade. I lift each foot in turn from the sheet
  and brush hair from their soles. I'm eager to take a shower!

     "Mike?"

     I turn to the woman who can't help but look at me down there.

     "I hope that I've not embarrassed you when coming into the bedroom when
  you're... with my son."

     "Well. I was at first. Jes told me that I shouldn't be shamed by it. It's
  not like you don't know how making love is performed. You are a mother to us
  both. Thanks for coming into our bedroom this morning to cover us with a
  blanket." She had seen Jes laying over me when we slept after belly rubbing
  earlier. I wonder what she thought about that?

     "You are a fine match to my son," whispers Winna.

     I'm peering down at myself. My body is very fit and slim like Jesse's
  but it's not brown and smooth like an Indian's. What does she mean exactly?
  The woman notices the puzzlement showing on my face.

     "You are very good looking even for a white..." Winna shuts her mouth.

     I can't help but smile. "Jes-ee-ah is very good looking too. You're right.
  We are a good match for each other and the envy of any guy who'd want to..."
  The woman gives me another look and she tries not to smile in embarrassment.
  Her expression then turns serious.

     "Are you having safe sex?" whispers Winna.

     "Neither of us are infected." I decide to tell her something that will
  assure her of this. "Shaman Charms A Bird has granted us protection from
  catching a sexual disease, Winna. That's one of his gifts from our Father."

     The woman's eyes widen. "You are sure about this, Short Hair?"

     There she goes invoking my Indian name when talking about Power and such.
  "Yes. I'm sure. Do you remember how my stomach was hurting me from worrying
  so much? He's Healed my ulcer." I pat over my stomach to prove that point.

     Winna gasps. "I've heard about shamans in the past who were given such a
  blessed gift."

     "Charms A Bird has. He was able to keep Jes-ee-ah from being possessed by
  his former self. That Omaha Shaman is very powerful." Winna knows that's why
  we'd gone to Great Falls to meet with him. Having my ulcer Healed and us
  being protected from catching something from a sexual partner was a bonus.

     "My son loves you very much, Mike." Winna pauses before asking something.
  "Are you gentle with him in bed?"

     This woman is asking me if I've been fucking his ass! Should I tell her?
  "We make love in lots of different ways that's been most satisfying to us."
  I'm Gleaning from Winna that she wonders which of us acts in the female role
  when we have sex. She suspects that it's her son. I'm huddling my arms around
  me since I've been getting cold from standing naked in front of her.

     "Go take your shower, Mike. I'm sorry for keeping you here so long."

     "That's okay. We needed this talk but I'll go clean myself up for Jes."
  As I'm walking away, I slap over my butt suggestingly.


     The hot water running down my body sure feels good! I'm sporting an
  erection when thinking about my promise I've made to Jesse earlier. After
  fucking his ass, I want him to fulfill himself as a man inside mine. I
  suppose that lots of people think that gay guys assume sexual roles similar
  to straight couples. Winna probably thinks I'm a 'bottom' after my little
  tease as I left her kitchen. Jesse and I perform as men when we make love.
  We both release our cocks but it's from the rear of our bodies that we share
  a female desire to be taken. I've enjoyed giving my ass to Jes, Running Water
  and Simon. To feel their male thrusts inside me and getting filled with sperm
  is such a turn on! Running Water's cock has length to reach my prostate
  that's heightened my pleasure. That man is often fucking me two times in a
  row before he's sated. Wow! In return, he's given me his butt to cum in.
  Jesse has a hot ass too. Only Simon has been denied my seed from being put
  in him. Not that the boy is too young but because he's confusing the pleasure
  that comes from sexual release with what love is. It's kind of like putting
  the cart before the horse. When that youth can separate sex from love, Jes
  and I will break in his little ass if he hasn't already found a lover.

     I'm already drying off with a towel when coming out of my deep thoughts.
  My cock really aches me. I Reach out to Jesse in my hope that we can soon...
  Hmm. He's still deep asleep. Disappointment fills me but I cast that aside
  from my concern for him. He's needing his rest after being sick but that also
  prevents my lover from eating. Man! He's gonna end up all skin and bones.

     An idea comes to me. I grab a washcloth and wet it from the sink. It's
  hung over my erection while a towel is wrapped around me to hide it from
  sight. Winna is still likely in her kitchen. Being fully naked in front of
  her had been daring but once is enough! Hmm. Chris had gone about camp with
  mere flaps to cover his body. Younger boys went naked. Native culture doesn't
  regard the human body as something that must be covered up. They see it as an
  acceptable thing to view like one's face.

     I leave the bathroom and find Winna standing in front of her stove. She
  turns to me.

     "Mike. Will you see if Jesse is ready for supper?"

     I'm closing my eyes in concentration. "He's still sleeping, Winna. Give
  us about half an hour and even if I have to carry him to the kitchen table,
  I will. He's gotta eat something!"

     "Should I bring food to him?"

     She didn't take my hint. "No. That's alright, Winna." A sly grin crosses
  my lips. "I'm gonna give him a good reason to wake up. Half an hour. Okay?"
  The woman breaks out in an embarrassing smile when she gets it. I rush to our
  bedroom and after closing the door behind me, cast my towel away. The wet
  cloth is taken from my cock. I'm easing into bed and my left hand searches
  for Jesse in the dark. I touch upon warm smooth skin. My hand lowers until
  the outline of his cheeks prove that my lover is sleeping on his stomach.
  That's just how I wanted him! The washcloth is used to wipe out his butt. I'm
  gentle with my tending so as to not disturb him. Let my kisses to his ass or
  getting it stuck with my cock awaken my sleeping prince! I figure that half
  an hour is long enough to make love before we come to the dinner table.

     Jesse continues to snore. I've left him covered with the blanket for
  warmth and stick my head beneath it to eat out his butt. The rest of my body
  sticks out from the blanket. I'm on my belly. Yum! His cheeks are hungrily
  kissed and I try teasing my lover awake with small bites to them. My tongue
  slips between and finds his hole. I've cleaned it with that wet cloth. He
  doesn't taste yucky when I rim his ass and spit is put in him. My hands enjoy
  fondling his soft behind while I'm preparing our joining soon to come.

     The stink of Jesse's unwashed body fills my nose. At least his ass is
  clean. My cock is really aching me. After giving Jes some more kisses to his
  moist cheeks, I pull myself over his back. The blanket covers us from sight
  in case Winna can't keep time. Man! I hope she doesn't enter our bedroom
  while I'm fucking her son. This woman has surprised me by accepting our
  relationship so easily. Well. That didn't happen overnight but now that she's
  okay with it, we no longer have to hide our hugs and kisses in front of her
  and she's seen us naked after making love this morning.

     One of Christopher's memories pops into my head. Owopspec and him had gone
  for a visit with the Bloods Clan in the far north (what is today Canada).
  Scoops-up-dirt-with-his-feet, a two feathered warrior had invited us to sleep
  in his tipi for the night. It was sure crowded. That man had two wives and
  their five children slept around them. His mother was put by the door. I laid
  behind my lover under one blanket (no ill remark given that we were a couple)
  yet Owopspec was tired from our long journey that he'd gone asleep before me.
  I listened to that chorus of snoring for a while. Then grunts were heard. It
  was Scoops-up-dirt-with-his-feet trying for yet another child to put in his
  squaw. Which one? I'd thought it was likely with his second wife, a pretty
  girl of fifteen. A woman soon cried out in orgasm but to my surprise, the
  man then laid with his other wife until their loud loving making of kisses,
  moans and the rhythmic beat from fucking ended with them both crying out in
  ecstasy. That'd made me so horny!

     I resisted my lustful urges until making sure Scoops-up-dirt-with-his-feet
  and his wives had gone back to sleep. While waiting, I'd pulled away my front
  flap and set aside Owopspec's butt thong to fondle him there. My brave
  remained asleep. When I was sure that everyone else was too, I stuck into
  Owopspec and rode his ass as quietly as I could manage. The nearly full moon
  had risen to the height of the sky and shone down through the tipi's smoke
  hole. That's why I saw the boy watching me. His name was Sweet Grass, a cute
  youth of eight and I suspect that he'd been awakened earlier by his father's
  loud mountings in both of his squaws. The boy sat at my lover's legs while I
  fucked his ass. My cock was feeling too close to it to stop so I cast aside
  my embarrassment while Sweet Grass watched. His left arm was moving back and
  forth in a revealing way. It didn't surprise me that the boy knew how to
  pleasure his pole in hand. Did he know how I was about to get my cock off as
  a man? The youth found that out for himself.

     I felt a little hand wandering beneath our blanket that had roamed over
  Owopspec's ass until it struck my groin. Sweet Grass had risen on his knees
  to crouch over our huddling forms. His fingers felt my groin hair. He even
  daringly reached my cock that was moving through my lover's ass and at the
  boy's touch, I felt my greatest thrills and squirted. My held breath blew out
  my nose. The boy released a sharp cry. His right hand clutched the base of my
  throbbing cock so he must have known where the rest of it was stuck. His left
  arm continued to flex wildly. More thrilling for his pole? In the moonlight,
  I could just make out the boy's erection that stuck out between his fingers
  that quickly rolled his foreskin back and forth. I rested behind my lover
  while the boy cried out three more times before returning to his sleeping
  mat. Owopspec hadn't waken the whole time.

     When I come out of this sweet memory, I find myself fucking Jesse's ass.
  He's remained asleep though my love act has stirred his dreaming. I Peer in
  and See Jes watching himself getting fucked by Simon. It's like how I found
  them this morning in bed together except that the boy isn't simply beating
  off while sitting over my lover's butt. He's fucking it like I am now. The
  sensations of having my cock thrusting in and out, the heaviness of my chest
  pressed over his back and him feeling those sharp thrills building up from
  rubbing against the bed sheet are enhancing Jesse's lusty dream. I Send him
  how good my own cock is feeling. My lover wails, his ass backing onto my
  groin to force me deeper inside. He wants to win Simon's sperm in him. It's
  only dreaming so I play along.

     Jesse loves the boy like a little brother he's never had. He wants to
  fulfill Simon's male needs and ease the burning in his heart for him. He
  hopes that the youth will come to understand that what he's feeling for him
  is the love for an older brother. Not that deeper emotion of being loved as
  Jes truly is by me. The boy and him have joined their bodies in sexual love.
  It's a strong exciting feeling that's too hard for him to deny.

     I'm releasing my held breath and cum into Jesse. Pleasure explodes in my
  head! Ahhhh. That mellow sensation of male relief that comes afterwards is
  putting me to sleep. I nearly was from joining into my lover's sweet dream...


     "Mike! Wake up."

     Someone is pulling on my right arm. I try shaking the sleep from my head
  when it dawns on me that it's Winna who's shouting in my ear. I'm laying over
  Jes. What I've done to him strikes me like a tomahawk blow. His mother is in
  our bedroom and though I feel the blanket covering us, she has to realize
  that I've fucked him.

     "Goes-late-in-the-night wants to speak with you," Winna explains.

     I hear the concern in this woman's voice. Jesse stirs below me and I'm
  turning us as one body to face his mother. "He's here?"

     "No. Simon hasn't returned home and his grandfather is calling you to ask
  where he is."

     Jesse yawns. "What's going on?"

     "Didn't you tell Goes-late-in-the-night that Hawk Flying Over was driving
  him home?" I ask.

     "Yes. But that man had left hours ago! Where could he be with the boy?"

     I'm flinging the blanket away and rush out of bed. A coolness if felt from
  my cock. Winna averts her eyes while I streak to the drawer for a pair of
  underwear. It's pulled on. Then I'm chasing after Winna to the kitchen. I
  grab the phone and hear my name being uttered by a voice cracked by concern.

     "Short Hair?"

     "Yes. It's me."

     "Simon hasn't come home. I've been told that Hawk Flying Over was driving
  my grandson home but they should have arrived here by now."

     I'm looking up at the clock. It's nearly six. "They had left the house
  almost four hours ago!"

     "That's what Winna told me."

     My mind is racing to come up with what could have happened. Maybe Hawk
  Flying Over took to the boy over to his place first. No... It was raining
  when they left so they're not enjoying a hot tub together. Oh, no! I fear
  that they've gotten stuck on that muddy road or worse. A terrible image of
  his truck slipping into a gully or off that big hill comes to mind.

     :Don't think such a thing, Mike!:

     :I can't help it! I've driven down that road myself when it was raining so
  I know how treacherous it can be. How else can you explain why Hawk Flying
  Over hasn't returned the boy to his grandparents?:

     :Maybe the phone lines are down,: Answers Jesse. :That often happens.:

     :Then how can Goes-late-in-the-night be calling me?: That gives my lover
  some pause. I speak into the phone. "Let me call around and find out where
  they could be. Okay?"

     "I'm thinking about taking a walk down the road to look for them myself."

     "Is it still raining?"

     "Yes.

     "Don't do that then," I'm pleading. "We don't know if Hawk Flying Over has
  gotten stuck on the road and it's a long way for you to search in the rain.
  You have to look after your wife. Okay? I need you to stay by your phone. Let
  me makes some calls."

     "Very well, Short Hair." There's a long pause. "Do you... trust that man?"

     The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. Goes-late-in-the-night must be
  entertaining some terrible notions to come up with why Simon is missing.
  "I can assure you that Hawk Flying Over wouldn't do anything like that."

     "I'm sorry for having suggested otherwise but where is the boy!"

     It aches my heart to hear the man's worried outcry. "I will find him. Even
  if that means getting into my truck to go look for them myself."

     "Make your calls first, Short Hair but keep me informed of anything you
  may learn. Even if it's terrible news..."

     "They're gonna be found safe and sound," I assure the old man. "Maybe
  Hawk Flying Over didn't want to risk that road in the rain and took Simon
  back to his house." I'm already regretting those words out of my mouth. It
  wouldn't explain why he didn't call Goes-late-in-the-night to inform him.

     "Let me hang up. I'll be waiting for your call."

     The line goes dead even before I could say goodbye. I'm turning to Winna
  and see her holding Jesse in her arms with a blanket covering him. Worry is
  seen on both their faces. "I need Running Water's home number in Chinook but
  if he isn't there, I'll try his cell phone number if you have it. Maybe he
  knows someone who lives near Hawk Flying Over's house to see if he's there.
  Winna. Please go find out who's guarding over our house and get him in here.
  If I have to go search for them on that road, I'd want someone driving behind
  me in case I get stuck."

     "What can I do?" asks Jesse.

     "Put on some clothes!" In a softer voice, "We're gonna find them. I'm sure
  there's a simple explanation for why Simon hasn't come home and it's not
  because something bad has happened. I'm not Sensing that." My last words
  surprise me. I close my eyes and Reach out to grasp any inkling of where
  Hawk Flying Over and the boy can be. Nothing. That terrible image of them
  skidding off into a ditch scares me to death!

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