****************************************************************************
  *                          "NEW TO TEACHING LOVE"                          *
  *                                (part 18)                                 *
  *                              by Vince Water             October 24, 2005 *
  ****************************************************************************
  |  Copyright 2005-2006 by Vince Water                       Corrected 5/06 |
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     "Another hole in one!" Jesse exclaims.

     "That's great, Jes." His arms shoot high above his head with the golf club
  grasped in his right hand. I nearly gave him a hug before remembering myself.
  This is a public place. A woman with two little kids are waiting to putt
  here so I'm fetching the ball from the hole for Jes. He lowers his arms back
  to his side and walks close beside me to the next hole.

     I make note of Jesse's stroke on the score pad. My left hand is grasped
  when he peers at it. His touch is warm, gentle, and reveals his love for me.
  We exchange grins.

     "Looks like I'm four strokes ahead of you, love."

     He's said that out loud. I take a quick look around but luckily, no one
  heard his fond remark. So what if they did? I'm not gonna hide the fact that
  we're a couple anymore. "Yup. You've putted four less strokes than I have...
  my love." That draws a knowing grin from Jes.

     A tall tipi is our next challenge. That's in keeping with the theme at
  this mini golf park. Jes lets me putt first. I spread my legs, fix my eyes on
  the revolving tipi door (a slow turning from closed to open) and time my
  strike. My ball speeds towards the tipi. It outright misses the door to my
  dismay with a loud 'ping' against the siding and returns to my feet.

     "Too bad, love. I'll forgive you that bad shot so start over again."

     "No. It should count against me, Jes." He shakes his head back and forth.
  I remind myself that we're not playing to 'win' (like Jake had at Air Hockey)
  but for the fun of it. "Alright. You are ahead of me in score." A thought
  occurs to me. :Hey! Are you cheating or something?:

     :No. I seem to have a knack with hitting the ball,: Jesse defends. He
  stretches out his unusually long arms to explain it.

     :You know what I mean.: My lover picks up on my thoughts when I recall how
  he was able to drive a stick shift for the first time like an expert. He was
  Drawing on my skill at driving a truck that really impressed Jake.

     :I'm not Drawing on your 'expert skill' at mini golf, love. If I were, I'd
  be the one with too many strokes.: Jesse sticks his tongue out.

     That has me laughing. :You're right. I'm sorry for accusing you of that.:
  After repositioning my green ball on the tee, I try my shot again. Jesse
  slowly claps his hands. To distract me? No. He's timing the opening of that
  tipi door to when I should hit my ball. :It's not the door that I'm having
  trouble with.: My last shot had broadsided the tipi because of my ill aim.
  Mini golf is supposed to be an easy game that even little kids can play. I'm
  embarrassed by my 'performance' so far.

     :Don't be, love. I've Sensed your uneasiness.:

     I'm looking down at my right hand wielding the club. It's trembling.

     :This is the first time that you and I are together in public.:

     I don't think so. When Jesse stands behind me and his hands grasp my
  wrists to 'help' me with my shot, I begin to understand what he meant. We
  have been touching each other a lot. Tender things any couple would do when
  in public. I welcome my lover's warmth behind me but it's also making me
  feel uncomfortable.

     "Try this shot again," asks Jesse.

     He's still holding me from behind. I force myself not to look around to
  see if anyone is watching us. It would be obvious to anyone that we're more
  that just friends. I'm worried that someone might say something about it or
  act badly towards us. Gay bashing comes to mind.

     I take a deep breath. Jesse lowers his hands from mine but he remains
  standing close behind me. The front of him 'bumps' my butt. What a turn on!
  I'm glad that I'd changed into another pair of jeans at the motel. These
  aren't fresh, but what I'd worn this afternoon had been soiled when I slid
  down that dirt path on my ass. :We need to do laundry tomorrow morning.:
  We'll be meeting with Jake in the afternoon. Winna wants us to go on a
  picnic with him.

     :Love! Try to concentrate on your shot.:

     My hands grip the club. I look towards that revolving tipi door, time my
  shot and go for it. My ball speeds towards the tipi. My aim looks good. The
  door opens... swallowing my ball where it exits on the other side. We're
  rushing to see where it's ended up on the rear greens. Huh? I don't see it.

     "A hole in one, love!" Jesse exclaims with pride.

     He's right! It must have bounded off the wall and fell into the hole. Now
  it's my turn to lift my arms in triumph. My lover gives me a hug.

     :I've always longed for this, Short Hair. To hold you as my mate where
  others can see that you are the man I've chosen to be with.:

     I can't deny Jesse. I'm hugging him back with the same joy bursting in my
  heart that he's feeling. :I love you, Jes-ee-ah.:

     :I love you too.:

     We end up with our faces close together. I want to give my lover a kiss
  but mind myself. He'll get plenty of them from me in bed tonight.

     :I'll be holding you to your promises, Short Hair. Remember the one you've
  made to me earlier in the gully.:

     He means when I promised to fuck him tonight. My left hand reaches down to
  pat over his little behind. :That will be easy to fulfill.:

     :Ah... yes. Ful'filling' my asshole with your squirts of love!:

     We're both panting with excitement. Giggling from behind has us separating
  in a rush. It's from a little boy. He can't be more than nine years old. His
  little sister is running to his side with wide eyes. Luckily, the tall tipi
  has obscured our hug from being seen by their mother.

     "Are you a real Indian warrior?" the girl asks.

     She's looking up at Jesse's eagle's feather tied to his hair.

     "Ah. Nit si."

     My lover has confirmed that in Siksika much to the delight of these two
  kids. The boy yelps out like an Indian. The little girl smiles. I'm trying
  to imagine how Jesse looks through their eyes: a young Indian warrior with
  long black hair who's brown skinned. He's wearing white man's clothes though.
  Tan pants and a brown long-sleeved shirt. Black loafers. They are the same
  clothes my lover wore yesterday but he can get away with that since he
  doesn't sweat like me. That's due to him being thin and smooth skinned.

     "What else can you say in Indian?" the girl asks.

     "Robert! Bring your sister back here, please."

     The boy quickly takes hold of his sister's hand and they return to their
  mother standing at the tee off in front of the tipi. I face my lover with
  concern. :You didn't take your shot, Jes.:

     :That's alright. Just put me down for two strokes on this hole, love.:

     I relent since I don't want to make any trouble for that woman. She has
  her hands full with two kids. After jotting down the score, we cross over a
  bridge to get to our next challenge. It's a buffalo. Four teenagers are at
  this hole but it's proving difficult for the girl to drive her red ball past
  the animal's mechanically driven swishing tail, spinning legs and a horned
  head that's nosing the ground as if enraged.

     "Try it again, Martha. Don't let this beast fuck you up."

     That vulgar urging was given by the girl's boyfriend. She waves him off
  with an embarrassing grin. Her ball speeds between the buffalo's two pairs of
  legs. The teens walk around to the greens behind to finish their shots.
  Martha's boyfriend holds hands with her. Jesse reaches down to hold mine.
  It's a firm grip.

     :Don't let that beast fuck your ass, love!:

     :Ahh, come on. I'll bet that he's got a really long cock!: I was about to
  peer under the buffalo's belly to see if they've rendered him with loins when
  the tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. I'm looking around when Sensing
  that someone is watching us. Intently. Jes picks up on my concern. We're both
  looking around without trying to seem too obvious. There are lots of people
  eating at picnic tables spread over the grounds. This mini golf shares space
  with several food vendors. I breathe in the aromas that are making me hungry.
  :Do you want to eat after we're done playing?: I Ask.

     :Yes, love. Maybe they'll have hotdogs.:

     I'm giving Jes a naughty smirk and look down at my 'hotdog' bulging in the
  front of my pants. He cops a feel of it right where anyone could see him so
  I spin over my feet. :Hey!:

     :You were offering me your hotdog. Weren't you, love?:

     :Tonight! I've already promised you.:

     Two kids run up to us with golf clubs and balls in their hands. It's
  Robert and his little sister. They've finished putting at the tipi already?
  I find their mother crossing the bridge behind us. She looks tired.

     "Ta-tonka," says Robert. He points at something behind the two men.

     Jesse doesn't know what the boy said, only that it must be an Indian word
  he's expected to know. "Buffalo," I explain. My lover shrugs his shoulders.
  :Haven't you seen "Dances With Wolves?":

     :Is that a movie?: Asks Jesse.

     :Yeah. Lt. Dunbar was a Civil War soldier who was befriended by a tribe
  of Sioux Lakota. They taught him that 'Tatanka' is their word for buffalo.:
  Robert keeps repeating the word so I gently jab my lover in the side to get
  him to respond to this boy.

     "We must get past Tatanka with our war clubs."

     I'm smiling. Jesse spoke in broken English with a thick Indian accent
  much to the delight of this youth.

     "We hunt you Ta-tonka!"

     Robert sets down his blue ball on the tee. His little sister sets her
  yellow ball beside his. They're both about to take swings.

     "Wait!" shouts Robert's mother.

     I see embarrassment on this woman's face. She strides over to us.

     "These men were here before you. We have to wait our turn."

     "That's alright," I'm assuring her. "They can go ahead of us." I'd seen
  how Robert and his sister have been madly hitting their balls around the
  course without a concern for trying for a good score. That's how they've
  caught up to us.

     Jes gives the boy's head a fond pat. His hair hangs in golden curls about
  his shoulders. His sister's hair is nearly as long but brown in color. We
  step away from the tee off and face their mother. She gives us a weak grin.

     "I did it!" Robert shouts. "Your turn, sis."

     We turn to the two kids facing off the buffalo. A yellow ball has been
  deflected back towards the little girl from the animal's swishing tail. She
  bangs her club in dismay. Her brother's ball obviously made it past the two
  sets of spinning legs. She putts again.

     My eyes lift to the bull's belly. The artist has rendered him anatomically
  accurate. No obvious cock, it's as Christopher remembers when Blackfoot
  hunters rode down a buffalo bull. At midway down the belly is a clump of dark
  hair. Hanging between the animal's rear legs are his black sac of balls. The
  squaws would spread over the plains after a hunt with knives in hand. More
  than meat was collected. Bull balls were dried in their sac for rattles.
  Their long dongs were pulled out from the sheaths and... well, there were
  interesting uses made of them. Jesse Shares a memory with me.

     :After a successful hunt, Bad-eyes took a bull's long red cock and snaked
  it through his cheeks where it was tied at his waist. That let the other men
  know that he was abstaining from sex with them for a few days in thanks to
  our Father for providing their tribe with food.:

     My eyes grow wide. :Really? My former self never saw Owopspec doing that.:

     :He ended that practice a few years before he met Kris.:

     :Why?: I Ask.

     :The shaman didn't think it was dignified.:

     :Everyone knew that Owopspec liked taking it in the butt!:

     Jesse giggles. :Not dignified for the buffalo bull who'd given his life
  to feed the People.:

     :Oh.: The little girl has been trying to hit her ball past the buffalo but
  it keeps bouncing off its legs or tail. Robert offers to take that shot for
  her. She doesn't want his help. It turns into a repeating "You can't do it."
  from Robert and "Yes I can!" by his sister. Jes and I lean on our clubs.

     "I am sorry to make you wait," the mother offers.

     "We don't mind." The woman scolds her kids to stop it. Robert mimics our
  stance by leaning on his club next to my lover. But only for a moment. When
  his sister fails to get her ball past the buffalo yet again, he waves his
  club iron over her ball.

     "I'll hit it past Ta-tonka for you," offers Robert. "You've tried to a
  million times already!"

     "I'm going to do it."

     "No you won't!" says Robert.

     He's about to putt her ball when Jesse gently swats the boy's behind with
  his club grip that stops him. That doesn't go unnoticed by the woman. Robert
  turns to my lover with a shy grin.

     "Let your sister play her own ball," asks Jesse.

     The woman's eyes flare. She takes the club from Robert's hand and stands
  behind him, shielding him from our view.

     "You have to let Rebecca play her own ball."

     "But mom, she don't know how to hit it right!" whines Robert.

     Rebecca strikes her yellow ball and it rolls past the buffalo's swishing
  tail. "See. I did it!" She sticks her tongue out at her brother.

     The two kids run around the buffalo. Their mother gives us a glaring back
  glance before she joins them on the greens. At that moment, I Glean that she
  was actually angry at Jesse. She'd thought his interest in her son wasn't
  proper because... well. Robert is a cute white boy.

     :I wasn't 'interested' in him that way,: Sends Jesse.

     :I know.: I clasp my lover's hand and Feel his shame that's undeserved.
  :Would you like to go eat now?:

     :Yes.:

     We return our clubs and balls to the attendant. To my relief, Jesse's
  gloomy mood has lifted. He's feeling hungry so his thoughts turn to food.
  I'm looking up at the brightly painted signs for a place that might offer
  hotdogs. There's 'Hand Drum Pizza', 'Teepee Ice cream', and the 'Happy
  Hunting Grounds of Food'. After checking out the menu of this latter
  establishment, I don't see hotdogs listed. The jingling of bells has me
  turning to my right. There's a vendor selling popcorn, cotton candy, pretzels
  and to my relief - hotdogs! I pull on my lover's hand towards that cart.

     "Two hotdogs, please. I'd like mine with chili." Turning to my lover,
  "What would you like on yours?"

     "I want mine plain, please."

     "Chips with that?"

     "Yes, please. Lay's Potato chips for me. How 'bout you Jes?" He's shaking
  his head.

     "Anything to drink?" the man asks with a grin.

     "Yes. A Coke and... a bottle of water, please." We're handed the hotdogs,
  chips and drinks after paying. Jesse grabs a bunch of napkins. When we look
  for a place to sit, most of the tables are filled with people. All White, I
  notice. There's not a brown face to be seen in this whole crowd.

     "Over there," whispers Jesse.

     We make our way past the crowded tables and come to one that's just been
  abandoned. They've left their empty plates and soda cans behind. Man! I see a
  trash can not two steps away. We set our food down at one end and Jes helps
  me clear off the table.

     I take a bite from my chili dog. Yum! My can of Coke is opened and I gulp
  down half its contents due to my thirst. I'm usually having milk with meals
  but soda is best with hotdogs. Jesse sips water from his bottle. Before we
  know it, our food in consumed. My lover had munched on a few of my chips.

     "That was good," says Jesse. He releases a burp and quickly covers his
  mouth in embarrassment. "Restaurant hotdogs always taste better than what you
  can buy at the store and boil yourself."

     "That's true. It must be the way they steam their 'dogs' and the buns.
  These are quality all-beef hotdogs instead of turkey fillers that are often
  sold in the supermarkets." Jesse reaches across the table to wipe the corner
  of my mouth with a napkin. "Thanks," I mutter.

     A man passes us while biting down on a pretzel. My mouth waters, making me
  realize that I'm still feeling hungry.

     "Can you get me a pretzel?" asks Jesse.

     He's read my thoughts! "Plain or with cheese?" He Tells me what he wants
  and I'm not surprised. Even when my lover eats junk food, he avoids the extra
  calories from toppings that would help put meat on his bones. I excuse myself
  from the table and make my way towards that same vendor where we'd gotten the
  hotdogs from.

     After purchasing two pretzels and another can of Coke, I make my way back
  to Jesse. A sixth sense warns me that I'm being watched. Intently. It's the
  same Feeling I had when we were playing mini golf. I'm looking around. All
  the tables are filled with people. Mostly families with kids. That's not
  surprising since we're at a mini golf. Some of the tables are filled with
  teenagers. It's Friday night and that means it's dating time. Yup. I see a
  young couple. The boy has eyes only for his gal. She's busy scarfing down
  pizza. There's a table where five girls are chattering up a storm. Sure glad
  that we're not sitting near them!

     I didn't catch sight of who's been watching me so intently. Hmm. Maybe it
  was just my imagination. I'm sitting down at the table across from Jes. He
  takes the plain pretzel from me. I bite down on mine. It is good! My lover
  opens my can of Coke for me since my fingers are covered in melted cheese.

     We take our time enjoying the pretzels. They're soft, as if boiled like a
  bagel and baked afterwards but with rock salt covering them. I match Jesse's
  dainty bites that has him giggling for a moment. Then he frowns. :What is it?:

     :Nothing.:

     Through mind speaking, I know what troubles my lover. He'd Heard me
  thinking about how daintily he eats like a woman when we were at that
  pizzeria with Jake. "Jesse?" He meets my gaze with regret filling his eyes.
  That has me changing what I was about to tell him. Utter truth is required.
  :There are bound to be things that we don't like about each other.:

     :My pretzel is kind of salty,: Jesse remarks.

     Huh?

     :I still like eating it since the bready part tastes good. All I have to
  do is not get hung up about the salt.:

     I get it. :We won't dwell on those things about each other that we don't
  like or try changing them if we can't. That's just part of our character.
  Right?:

     :Right.: Jesse smiles.

     I see the way my lover Looks at me and pride fills me. I'm no longer that
  dumb white guy I was. It's not me trying to be more... Indian, but just some
  growing up that a man must do.

     :You have grown so much since I've met you, love.:

     :You too, my love!: Jesse drops his eyes from me for not feeling deserved
  of my praise. His thoughts aren't being guarded. I know what's troubling him.
  A lot of that maturing I've been seeing from him has come from Drawing on me.
  My strengths, life experiences and wisdom such as it is. His former self has
  also been guiding him. Charms A Bird, too, through their Talks.

     :Maybe one day I'll be able to stand on my own two feet.:

     I don't know what to say at this moment. Jes believes what he does. He may
  even be right. Being autistic had shut him off from the world until I Brought
  him out of himself through my love. My Hand is strong around his so he won't
  fall. That comes from our special bond. I cannot stop Holding him up and in
  those instances when our Connection was lost, he's reverted back to his old
  self. Lost in himself; not quite there with people and stuck in childhood
  unable to attain manhood.

     :I am using you, Mike.:

     I'm reaching across the table to grab my lover's hand. It's trembling.
  "Yes, my love. You are." That wasn't what he was expecting to hear from me.
  He wanted me to deny it like I have been. :We've seen what happens to you
  when our Connection is broken. I won't ever let that happen again! You and I
  are life bonded. That means our spirits Touch and we Take from the other what
  we need. Don't feel ashamed. Because of me, you'll be able to follow in your
  grandfather's footsteps and become the tribe's next shaman after him. From
  you, I Draw on your humanity to be a better person than I was or could ever
  be on my own. Yes. We 'use' each other. I don't think that's the best word to
  describe it but it's the truth.:

     Tears fill Jesse's eyes. He covers our clasped hands with his free hand.
  He knows that I won't let go of him. "We need each other, my love. Together,
  we'll face life head on by Drawing on the strengths of each other. There
  are lost ones out there who need our help. Let's be strong, for them."

     "Alright, love. I will."

     "We both will." Jesse wipes his face with the back of his hand. We're
  still holding hands across the table. Tightly. My lover has been very moody
  of late. He's always been the anchor that's kept me from being swept away by
  the troubles facing us. Now it seems like he's enduring a storm, afraid to
  Share his fears with me. I'd Felt this earlier from him after we made love in
  the gully. I'm wetting my lips and ask, "What's wrong, my love?"

     "Can we enjoy this evening together?" Jesse pleads in a whisper.

     "Sure." I force a smile onto my lips but it's not fooling him. He knows
  that I know he's holding back from me. A tense sigh escapes my lips. When Jes
  looks around, I'm remembering that we're not alone. Normal time returns with
  the babbling of voices around us, the smell of food and I'm noticing the
  coolness in the air from the coming of night. I want to leave here. My
  thoughts are racing with something else we can do in town to enjoy our
  'clothed' time together: watching a movie, window shopping at the mall,
  taking a walk in the park that offers us a view of a sunset. Anything fun
  where we can be together and forget about the challenges facing us.

     "Can I... sit here?"

     I'm startled out of my thoughts by the man's request. Jesse tightens his
  grip of my hand when I tried pulling it back. I hear my lover answering him.

     "Sure you can."

     When I look at the man, I'm surprised to see that he's a Native. Jesse
  had been the only Indian I've seen at this mini golf park. He plops down
  beside my lover and sets his bottle of beer on our table. Our eyes meet. Such
  intensity in them. He's the one I've Felt watching us this past hour.

     :Don't forget your manners, love.:

     I catch Jesse's meaning. He lets go of my right hand so I offer it to
  this stranger. "Hi. I'm Mike." We shake hands across the table. A firm grip
  that lasts longer than I expected. We're looking each other over. This
  Indian has shoulder length hair. It sweeps over his chest when he stood a
  little to reach over for my hand. His face is rather rugged looking. That
  comes from rounded blemishes that mar it; did he have chicken pox in his
  youth? It's not that noticeable because his skin is a dark brown. He's not
  thin like Jesse. I'm not saying that he's fat, just more filled out because
  he doesn't suffer from Marfan's Syndrome. I want to look lower on him. The
  table prevents me from checking him out.

     "I'm Jesse."

     My hand is finally let go of so he can shake with Jes. A quick clasping.
  This man won't meet my lover's gaze. He reaches for his bottle of beer and
  drinks it down. Hmm. We've given him our names.

     "What's your name?" Jesse asks after the long moment.

     "Oh, sorry. It's Henry."

     "Are you Sioux Lakota?" That was stupid of me to ask. Of course he is.

     "Yes, if you must know. And you?"

     "I'm just a white skin." Henry laughs. Jesse smiles embarrassingly since
  that's practically a swear word used by his People to call mine.

     "I'm Blackfoot from the northern Montana band."

     "What brings yeh down here?" Henry asks in a drunken slur.

     "My mother and I are visiting with my cousin at the Jesuit school."

     That seems to surprise Henry for some reason. When turning to Jes, his
  left hand topples over his empty beer bottle which rolls in my direction. He
  grabs for it, setting it upright and our eyes meet. I Sense something strong
  from him. That tempts me to Glean why he's come to our table.

     :Let him reveal that to us on his own, love.:

     :Alright.: I'm not Sensing danger from Henry otherwise I would Glean him.
  That's how I knew Roy had decided to shoot us to protect the secret of his
  marijuana plot.

     "Does your cousin live at the Indian Mission School in town?"

     Jesse nods. "For the past eleven years. His name is Jake."

     "I thought they only took in orphans."

     "The Jesuits thought Jake was an orphan. His mother was my mother's sister.
  We only recently learned about him so we came down to bring him home with us."

     "That's good. A White school is no place to raise Native boys."

     Henry glanced at my lover when saying that but his eyes return to me. I
  Sense that he recognizes me or rather, he knew someone who would look like
  me when reaching my age. A white boy?

     "What's brought you here?" asks Jesse.

     Henry fingers the bottom ridge to his beer bottle, ignoring the question
  my lover put to him. I'm curious to know why he's come to sit with us.

     "I mean, to this mini golf park."

     A silent "Oh" is formed on Henry's lips to my lover's clarification. He
  takes a quick look around as if fearing to get kicked out of this place. They
  wouldn't serve alcohol at this family establishment so he must have brought
  the beer in with him. I offer to dispose his empty bottle into the trash can.

     "Thanks," Henry mutters.

     When I return to the table, our eyes meet again. What I'm seeing in Henry
  matches what I'm Feeling from his as well: a deep longing with an even deeper
  sense of hurt in his heart. He knows I'm not that boy he loved. Seeing me
  with Jesse had drawn his intense curiosity about how a couple, a gay Indian
  and his white lover, act so normal in public. We've not been blatant about it
  with kisses, sexual overtones or anything. He watched us enjoy ourselves
  playing mini golf like any straight couple here.

     Henry releases a sigh when remembering the question upon him. "I used to
  work here as a janitor. It's a good place to people watch."

     From Henry's startlement, he realizes what he's admitted to - watching us.
  "Where do you work now?" I've asked that to spare him embarrassment so he
  won't think we've noticed his intense interest in us.

     "Somewhere more honest." Henry looks around in distain at the cartooned
  Indian icons littering the mini golf park. "I'm with Streets and Sanitation.
  Rich people and poor alike need someone to clean up after them." He laughs.

     I'm smiling. Henry isn't ashamed that he's a garbage collector.

     "What do you do, Mike?"

     I was gonna say that I'm a computer programmer but that's no longer true.
  My eyes go to Jesse with happiness filling my heart. "I'm learning to follow
  the good red road." Henry looks at me in surprise. Now it's my turn to laugh.

     "Short Hair is helping my People," says Jesse with pride.

     Henry only nods. He looks my lover over as if trying to glean what he does
  for a living. That has me seeing Jes as if through this man's eyes. Compared
  to him, Jesse looks thin and frail. No more than a boy who has yet to reach
  manhood until I catch sight of his eagle's feather. That proves his maturity.
  I've seen how he faced challenges and won through them. Better than I did.

     "How old are you, Jesse?"

     "Almost twenty four."

     Henry reveals surprise since he assumed like so many others that my lover
  is a handful of years younger than that due to his boyish looks and the way
  he acts. What few people know is that his former self was an old man. Jesse
  can Draw on Shaman Good-eyes' wisdom and life experiences.

     "You wear a warrior's feather," Henry notes.

     "Yes."

     Jes had earned his eagle's feather by doing battle with Trickster Eli Kie
  and he didn't lose his tribe's Power Bundle to that evil servant. My lover is
  a proven man. Not by getting a woman with his child but from other acts that
  are just as important. Henry is probably wondering what those are. He's
  peering at me, hoping that I'll tell him?

     "How about you, Mike?"

     Oh. He wants to know my age. "I'm twenty five." But only for another month.
  I want Henry to think that only a year separates our ages. He slowly nods as
  if he had already determined my age by how I look and act. I'm peering back
  at him to figure out his age.

    "How old do you think I am?" Henry asks.

     That is difficult to answer since I don't want to insult this man. Native
  Americans can look younger than their real age but his pockmarked face makes
  him look older. I'm shrugging my shoulders and grin shyly.

     Henry casts his eyes down at the table. "That old, huh?"

     He's read my face to know that I think he's much older than Jesse and me.
  My heart pains me for this man. The illusion he's been clinging to that I'm
  his love boy is shattered when realizing how long ago that was. Henry was my
  age when he was with Glenn, a teenager. They had two wonderful years of love
  together when... I stop myself from Gleaning further.

     "It was nice meeting the two of you," mutters Henry. "I didn't mean to
  interrupt your evening."

     "We are enjoying your company," says Jesse. He grabs Henry's arm to
  prevent him from getting up from the table.

     "You didn't tell us your age," I quickly add. I'm groaning inside since
  that was stupid of me. "We could use any advice you can give us about...
  things." He knows what I mean when I peer over at Jes and that was the
  right thing to say to him.

     "I don't know about that." Henry turns to Jesse and asks, "When did the
  two of you meet?"

     Jesse thinks for a moment. He smiles and says, "April 7th."

     "Of last year?" asks Henry.

     "Last month."

     I'm just as surprised as Henry is since it seems that Jes and I have been
  together for much longer than that. Has it only been a month? Wow. I've
  never lived so much as I have now with Jesse. He's made me a man and I don't
  mean because of the sex.

     "You two are at the beginning of a wonderful time in your lives," says
  Henry with his voice trailing off to a mere whisper. "Relish every moment.
  Nothing lasts forever, especially if you take things for granted and then
  you'll look back at what you had and regret losing it. That's my advice."

     The bitterness in this man's voice. My heart aches at his loss and I
  wonder what happened between him and Glenn. Did the boy die? No... Yet they
  were separated and I'm thinking it was Henry's fault for not acting to
  reclaim the love they had for each other. Regret is seen on his face without
  having to Glean that from him.

     "I'm thirty two years old, Mike. I've not had a lover since I was your age
  and I've lost hope of finding another. Seeing the two of you... reminded me
  of how wonderful it felt but all I'm left with is the pain." Henry takes a
  trembling breath. "I wish the very best for you two. You don't need my advice
  since you're much further along in your relationship than I achieved in my
  two years with him."

     I'm peering over at Jesse. He also feels for this man but what can we say
  or do to ease his ailing heart? We've only reminded him of what he's lost.

     "I need to go and get some sleep," says Henry. "It was nice meeting you."

     "Let us drive you home," Jesse offers.

     "I'm not drunk," Henry snaps. He springs to his feet in a rush. That
  brings on a fainting spell but he manages to remain standing. Barely.

     "We wanted you to, maybe, ask us to stay overnight at your place."

     My eyes widen to hear Jesse say that. :You want to have sex with him?:

     :No, silly! He is that 'lost one' you mentioned earlier whom we can help.:
  Jesse's eyes are blazing.

     :I'm sorry for thinking that, Jes.: We're waiting for Henry to respond but
  it's like he didn't hear my lover. His left hand is pressed flat against the
  table to steady himself. Oh. He's about to faint.

     :Do something quick, love!:

     I rush to Henry's side and grasp his left arm. He tries shrugging me off.

     "I'm able to get home on my own!" shouts Henry.

     "At least let us walk with you to the parking lot." I'm looking around at
  the other tables where people are watching us uneasily. They can see that
  this man is drunk after hearing it in his voice when shouting at me. "Please,
  Henry. Let's not make a scene." He notices that we're being watched. A family
  with three kids are quickly leaving their table to get out of harm's way.

     Henry releases a sharp breath. "Alright."

     Jes gets up from the table to stand on Henry's other side. I've not let
  the man's arm go. He allows me to steady him while we make our way through
  the mini golf park. It's embarrassing to see people watching us. They're
  probably thinking, 'Just another drunken Indian. Good riddance.'. Damn them
  white skins!

     :You shouldn't think that about them,: scolds Jesse. :Not all of your
  People have bad hearts. You don't, love.:

     Jesse is right. I'm a 'white skin' that I'd just cursed. Maybe there's
  people watching us who sympathize with Henry from having gotten drunk
  themselves for one reason or another. We're all human who've made mistakes.
  This man has suffered for eight years by not forgiving himself that would
  have allowed him to find love again.


     I'm driving down Main Street with Jesse sitting beside me. He moves his
  leg out of my way when I need to shift. Henry is slumped against the window.
  He didn't protest when I took him to my pickup truck but by then, he wasn't
  in any condition to drive home let alone find where he was parked in the lot.

     I've Gleaned a few things from him. That beer wasn't his only alcoholic
  drink tonight but a 'soda chaser' after chugging from a bottle of Vodka in
  his truck. He was 'celebrating' the anniversary of when he last saw Glenn
  which was today, May 9th. His teenaged lover moved to New York City with his
  parents. Henry considered following him there but that would have meant
  leaving behind family and his Sioux culture in South Dakota. Sadly, he's lost
  them too. A letter Glenn had written Henry had been opened by his mother and
  she kicked her twenty four year old son out of her home not for just being
  gay but that he was having sex with a white skin and a minor at that. Henry
  hasn't seen any of his family since out of shame. He's also stopped being
  Native; not attended gatherings or even acknowledging his culture anymore.

     Hand-won't-grip is his real name but he's not used it since becoming
  'Henry', a name he made up for himself that's now his legal identity as far
  as White law is concerned. He's been punishing himself for these past eight
  years. Taking lowly jobs, drowning his pain in alcohol and on those occasions
  when his cock ached him, went home with white guys who relieved it for him in
  their willing butts. Henry has lost hope for love again. He's never given any
  guy the chance to win his heart. Very, very sad.

     :Our Father's gifts allow us to know the hearts of those we are to help.:

     I'm glancing at Jesse but it's getting too dark to see his face. I See
  my lover with inner Sight. He wants us to help Hand-won't-grip find himself
  again so using our Powers on him isn't evil. My lover Felt the man's pain at
  the table when they were sitting close together, almost touching. I've
  Gleaned the man's past that explains why he was suffering. Henry had reached
  out to us for help. And we're gonna.

     :If only my cousin would accept my hand that's held out to him.:

     :He will in time, Jes. We have to win Jake's trust first. Whatever he's
  desperately trying to keep secret from us must be really bad. Fr. McMillan
  knows because he's received That letter Jake accused Karl of sending him but
  he didn't. I don't know who sent it or what it's said Jake has done. All we
  know is that the boy thinks he has to leave his school because of it and
  that's why he accepted coming to live with your mother. I'd thought the
  letter had revealed to the Father that Karl was having sex with the boy.
  That can't be! Ms. Klein wouldn't have asked Dr. Karl to bring Jake's
  medical records over yesterday if that were so. She'd read that letter. Man!
  It's so frustrating because even your mother knows what it says but we don't.
  How can we help your cousin like she's asked by being left in the dark?:

     Jesse doesn't Answer me. His thoughts are being guarded from me and that
  has me thinking he suspects what Jake has done or even knows it! Winna could
  have told him back at the motel when I was in my room changing into another
  pair of jeans. I wet my lips. "Do you know what That letter said about Jake?"

     "No, Mike. I really don't know otherwise I would have told you!"

     I'm releasing a sharp breath through my nose. "Sorry." Jesse finds my
  hand over the stick shift. His warmth is like a forgiving hug that I needed
  at this moment.

     :We'll see Jake tomorrow,: Sends Jesse. :Right now, we have another who
  needs us and unlike my cousin, he's reached out for our help.:

     :Alright.: A smile forms on my lips that turns into an open mouthed grin
  where a chuckle comes out.

     :What's so funny, love?:

     :Do you know where Henry lives?:

     :Can't you Glean it from him?:

     :I've been trying to! Ever since he's fallen into a stupor, I'm not
  getting anything from him. How about you?: Jesse grasps the man's left arm.

     :All I'm Feeling from him is the relief that comes from sleep.:

     I release a sigh. :Then there's nothing for it. We'll have to bring him
  back to our room to sleep it off.: Jesse is excited by that notion. I put an
  end to his hopeful thinking about me getting it on with this man by Saying,
  :Our room has an extra bed.:

     :Spoil sport!:

     :What were you planning on us doing with him, Jes? Take advantage of him
  while being drunk? I won't rape his ass per my vow to you about keeping that
  part of myself only for you and he can't do mine in his condition.:

     Giggling. :He'll recover by morning, love. When he wakes up beside you, I
  suspect that he's going to bear more than a piss hard on.:

     I burst out laughing. We both were kidding just now but the thought of
  giving my butt to this needing man is tempting. He thinks Glenn would look
  like me at my age. That's what first drew him to me and when seeing Jes close
  at my side while we were playing mini golf, he realized that we were gay.

     :We'll have a good talk with him tomorrow,: Says Jesse. A long pause.
  :Love? He would be more likely to share his pain with us if you made love to
  him first.:

     :You weren't kidding with me earlier, were you?:

     :I was. But now that I think about it and Felt that you're open to the
  idea of getting it on with him, why not? We're Mahyee-na so we're pledged
  to satisfy needing men...:

     :Did I make that pledge to Charms A Bird?:

     :Yes, love.:

     :Why was my memory of that obscured?: Jes won't Answer me. This isn't the
  first time that Charms A Bird had me forgetting something he's done with me.
  Christopher, my former self had met with Running Wolf who was Charms A Bird's
  former self in the distant past. He performed a sex rite with me to Pass an
  an Arrow of Power from him, through me, that was given to my warrior lover by
  fucking him. Running Wolf said that Good-eyes would be in need of it against
  a servant of Evil. With my permission, my memory was blocked to prevent Evil
  from learning about it. Both Running Wolf and who he became as Charms A Bird
  always spoke truthfully to me and asked before taking.

     :That is so, love. You gave Shaman Charms A Bird permission to block your
  memory until the proper time when you are to remember.:

     :And when will that be?: I Ask with hope rising in me.

     :When you are able to accept that truth. I cannot reveal it to you, love.
  Trust me in this thing! We were guided by the wisdom of Charms A Bird who can
  See into all hearts even when the person himself doesn't know his own heart.:

     :Very well. I acknowledge that you are oath bound to keep silent but how
  can I honor my pledge to be Mahyee-na when I can't remember it?:

     :Isn't it enough that I say you have pledged yourself, Short Hair?:

     All this Talk between us is circling around what Jesse Asked me earlier.
  Would I make love to Hand-won't-grip? It wouldn't be for the sex for its own
  sake but if giving myself to that man's need gets him to open himself so we
  can help him, I would.

     :You've helped my uncle by making love to him. Otherwise, he'd still be
  mourning for his lover like Hand-won't-grip still is for Glenn.:

     Jesse's words are like a shaft of light that reveals a hidden memory in
  me. A conversation with Charms A Bird in Great Falls fills my head:

     "Running Water needed you Mike but you weren't able to offer that help
  because of where you were in life."

     I'd answered, "It would have betrayed my love for Jesse! Or so I thought."

     "Or so you thought," said Charms A Bird. "That man only wanted to have sex
  with you or so you thought. He was led to believe by his shaman that you
  would follow in his dead lover's footsteps or so they thought."

     "Because I'd found Ron's ring. Grandfather misinterpreted what that meant.
  We know now that Jesse and I would follow in their footsteps as lovers. Not
  that I would become Running Water's next lover."

     "But you have, Short Hair."

     "Yes... After I got to know the man and he become worthy of my love."

     "Let me ask you this. If you had given yourself to Running Water for sex
  like he wanted and needed from you before you knew his heart, would that not
  have revealed the man he was to you more easily than the agonizing both of
  you had suffered before getting together?"

     "Sex first, then falling in love?" I'd asked Charms A Bird with much doubt.
  "I don't think things would have turned out as well as they did if I'd let
  Running Water fuck me in my bedroom or if I came in his butt when he stripped
  me in my kitchen or if I welcomed his belly rub afterwards. Those were only
  acts of sex."

     "Sex can express love, Mike."

     Whenever I'm called 'Mike', it means that I'm thinking like a white skin.
  "What Running Water wanted from me was only sexual relief!" I defended.

     "No. He was led to believe by his shaman that you were chosen by his
  former lover with your 'finding' of his ring that you would become lovers.
  Has this not turned out to be so? You love Running Water now."

     "After I got to know him!" Charms A Bird had shook his head at me.

     "A circle has no beginning and no end."

     What is he getting at?

     "Love represents that concept. The physical expression with your body for
  another is love even when your heart has yet to feel it for them."

     "I don't understand. Sex is love in itself? If what you're saying is true,
  then guys who jump into bed for a good time are lovers even if they've just
  met and don't ever plan to see each other again. How can that be loving?"

     "At that moment of joy when they are together, it is love."

     My mind had raced to foil Charms A Bird's reasoning. "What about rape? A
  man or woman who is forced to have sex can't be an expression of love!"

     "That is so. If it walks like a bird, sounds like a bird and looks like a
  bird, it may still not be a real bird."

     "Huh?" Charms A Bird had laughed at his joke which I obviously didn't get.

     "Brothers of the Mahyee-na give themselves to needing men and boys. It is
  a beautiful and sacred act of selflessness. Pent up sexual energy is released
  that won't be turned to evil purposes. That's what the Darkness-that-comes
  tries to accomplish through his servant, the Trickster. Love acts that are
  twisted into evil."

     We both made the gesture of warding off Evil. Charms A Bird had become
  silent. I knew he was waiting for me to say that I understood his talk about
  sex being love but I couldn't!

     "Will you accept Jes-ee-ah's assurance that what I've been saying is truth?
  We will not meet again in the flesh. Your initiation into the Mahyee-na
  requires that we perform this rite now so that our hearts, spirits and bodies
  can be One."

     I'd looked over at my lover and he'd given me a gentle nod. He understood.
  "Very well. I will take the pledge to become Mahyee-na even though I do not
  embrace this truth yet."

     "You will in time, Short Hair. After I am gone, the two of you will become
  the next Leaders of the Mahyee-na. New brothers in this society will be
  initiated by you both to keep them from being taken by the Darkness. Until
  you can accept this truth, your memory will be blocked. I've not taken from
  you without asking, Kris."

     Charms A Bird had smiled after calling me by my former self's name. He
  wanted to remind me that I had consented before to have my memory blocked by
  him though it was for another reason. This time, it would be done so that I
  would learn the truth of what love is in all its forms on my own.

     "You will muddle through it eventually. That is how your feet walk the
  path in life, Mike. An agonizing between your heart and your head until you
  end up boo-hooing in delight for such pain. Then they come to an agreement.
  So be it."

     "You think it's easy to learn important truths? That may be because you're
  an Indian while I'm just a dumb white skin." Sadness filled his eyes and I
  regretted my angry words.

     "Believe it or not but I had walked the same path you do when I was
  Willow Bird. He could be a real dumb fuck sometimes."

     I'd rushed to give Charms A Bird a hug. He accepted it and at that moment,
  I realized the long journey he'd taken from the boy he was as Willow Bird to
  an Inspired One of great wisdom in his fifth life. Jesse's arms had come
  around us both. I'd hoped that a revelation would come to me at that moment
  to accept the truth of what he'd been trying to tell me but I couldn't. More
  than anything, I wanted Charms A Bird and Jesse to be proud of me...

     I turn the key in the ignition and remove it. That's an automatic response
  that I've performed many times before but I'm startled out of my deep thoughts
  when realizing that we're parked in front of our motel room. I turn to my
  lover in the dark.

     "I am very proud of you, love. The good red road is a long journey."

     Tears sting my eyes. "I'll try to follow it to the end of my days."

     "I know you will."

     The passenger side door swings open with a moaning creak. I'm rushing out
  my door to help Jes with our guest for the night. We bear Henry's weight
  between us towards the door and after fumbling with the key, we enter our
  motel room. My lover hits the light switch. We head towards the second bed
  and plop him onto it. I'm relieved that he won't be sharing our bed tonight.
  I have promises to keep to my lover.


     I'm hungrily kissing Jesse's butt. After satisfying him earlier with lots
  of kisses when we embraced, he's eagerly waiting for me to fuck him. I pull
  my face back to peer over to my right. Henry is snoring up a storm.

     :He's fast asleep, love. Now get your tongue back in there!:

     :Alright, alright! I'm gonna.: Jesse's legs spread over the bed and I
  dive back in. My hands pull his cheeks apart so my rimming of his asshole can
  get deep. He's moaning in delight. My cock aches me to stick in where my
  tongue is but I want to give my lover the full loving that he deserves. No
  need to rush things. We'll have all night for that.

     I'm pulling back to take a breath. The musky scent of Jesse's ass fills
  my nose and that gets me diving back inside. Oh, God! I've never known that a
  butt can taste so good! In them porn videos that I've watched, the guys only
  used their mouths to kiss each other or suck on cocks. Then came the fucking.
  There was no loving preparation of his partner's asshole other than to lube
  it up, fingering, and sticking into it with a condom worn for protection. I'm
  glad that we won't have any barrier to our bodily joining. Charms A Bird has
  given Jes and me Protection from sexually transmitted diseases. I like that
  our mating will be done as Nature intended: that lusty sensation of feeling
  my lover's tight slimy warmth around my cock slipping in and out of him for
  both our pleasure until I fill him with my sperm. Sadly, it won't bring forth
  a new life because we're both male yet the giving of myself to Jes in this
  joyous act tends to the needs of our Child. Our happiness spills over to him
  in Song that is at its loveliest when we are together in all ways. That's
  what Charms A Bird told me.

     My hands knead Jesse's soft cheeks. I try spreading them some more so my
  tongue can stick deeper into his hole. He writhes over the bed from the
  intense sensation. I'm Sharing in his pleasure through our Connection; Jes is
  learning how to control it when we make love so I won't be denied the joy
  from our act together by blacking out.

     :I'm feeling really good, love!:

     My face pulls back to take another breath. I'm panting excitedly against
  his rear end that draws my kisses and small bites over their humps. It's too
  dark to see them but my hands feel their boyishly small shape, its smoothness
  under my palms and bodily warmth. I've enjoyed Jesse's ass many times before
  so my memory fills in for what I can't see right now.

     :It's too bad that Henry can't see you doing me, love.:

     :I don't want him to!:

     :Why not?:

     :Because...: I'm not sure why I wouldn't want him to. Embarrassment? No.
  Maybe it's because he's a stranger to me and I'm not sure how he would react
  to see us fucking. I'm glad that it's too dark and besides, he's sleeping.

     :He could wake up from the noise we'll be making in a moment, love. It
  wouldn't take much imagination to realize that we're fucking.:

     :But he won't know who's doing who.: I stick my tongue out at him that he
  can feel against his left cheek.

     "Mike. Fuck me harder! Yes... yes... YES. You're so manly on top of me!"

     :You are silly, Jes.: I'm looking towards the other bed but can't make
  Henry out in the dark. :Stop it. I don't want to wake him up!: Snoring is
  heard from him.

     :He could be pretending.:

     I stick my tongue back into Jesse's asshole and use my lips to suck on
  its entrance really hard.

     "Oh, Mike!"

     That sounded real. I push spit into my lover's hole since I'm about to
  perform as a man on top of him and fuck hard like he wants.

     :Really, love?:

     :I've just heard you Asking me to!: I mimic his earlier wailing. "Yes...
  yes... YES." That has Jesse giggling and I'm Feeling his anticipation for me
  to do just that. I can't hold myself back any longer. Scooting forward on my
  knees, I direct my aching cock between his cheeks and stab in. Ahhhh! What a
  lusty sensation. My calves squeeze his legs together. That tightens his hole
  around my cock that has already begun its stabbing. Jes sticks his butt up to
  meet my downward blows. I clutch the sides of his body when becoming
  unbalanced. My head turns to the right to look for Henry even though I can't
  see him so I listen for his snores. Yup. He's still sleeping and in spite of
  all the noise we're making, he won't awaken from his drunken stupor. Good.
  This is our moment to be together without prying eyes. We didn't expect to
  have a night guest.

     :Henry will wake up beside you in the morning.:

     That's the second time Jes has said that. :I'll be sleeping in your arms,
  my love.: Another deep stab is given to his ass. Ahhh! :He'll remain in that
  other bed by himself.: I lean down more so my next stab will be even deeper.

     :You're having me now, love. Henry will have you in the morning.:

     I'm too deep in my act to Answer that. My cock is feeling intense so I drop
  over Jesse's back in a meeting of Indian smoothness against my hairy chest.
  My lover enjoys that sensation as much as I. He wants kisses so I'm searching
  for his seeking lips above his right shoulder. We find each other. It's a
  very lusty kiss with my tongue sticking far into his mouth. He's sucking on
  me like his asshole is around my cock. Ahhh!

     :Push it in further... further!: begs Jesse.

     I had been deeper in his ass when fucking him on my knees. I'm trying to
  give him all of my cock. That pulls my mouth away from his. :I want your
  kisses more, Jes! Your hole will have to be satisfied with what it's getting.
  Oh. I'm feeling so good!:

     :No. Don't let go!:

     I'm holding him tight within my arms around his shoulders, my left hand
  beneath the side of his face to keep our mouths together and my weight above
  pins him against the bed.

     :Hold out.:

     Oh. He doesn't want me to cum yet. Another lusty stab is given to his butt
  before I could stop myself. My balls tingle in warning... Ahhh! Strong squirts
  are filling his asshole that tightens thrillingly at this moment. Pleasure
  explodes in our heads! We're both crying out in a lusty duet of his boyish
  high-pitched voice with my manly low baritone. My cock throbs contentedly.
  We're both enjoying that mellow feeling of male relief that comes afterwards.
  :You wanna fuck me now?: I Ask. A deep longing is felt by my butt to have him
  fill it with all his love.

     :I've already come out,: Jesse admits with his embarrassment turning to
  regret.

     :To the sheets?: Yeah. He did. That's why his asshole had tightened around
  my cock. A man does that when he's sperming. It also explains why we both
  felt male relief though I thought he was only Sharing in mine. "It's alright.
  I am honored that you enjoyed me so much that you'd released, Jes. Really."

     "Our best love making is when we come out together, love."

     That's usually done when we belly rub. We're able to face each other and
  kiss up a storm.

     "We kissed each other this time! I loved it so much. You are becoming such
  a great lover."

     "You mean we are." I turn my head sharply to the right when remembering
  that we're not alone. If Henry is awake, he's heard what we've been saying.
  Jesse listens for his snoring along with me.

     :Darn. That man could sleep through a buffalo stampede!:

     :You would too after drinking like he did.: I wonder why Henry went to the
  mini golf park. He obviously wanted to get drunk in the hope of letting this
  day pass into oblivion. It's been eight years since he last saw Glenn.

     :When the alcohol quieted his troubled thoughts, his heart Heard the
  calling of his animal helper that led him to us.:

     Henry had turned his back on his culture. I've embraced it. I remember Jes
  asking me to follow Raven that led me to the boy Sings-as-a-raven who was in
  need of our guidance. I'm a believer in 'Indian magic'. Can Hand-won't-grip
  be brought back to the good red road?

     :He has stepped onto our path to get our help.:

     :But he didn't actually ask us for our help, Jes. I'd Gleaned his interest
  in me since I looked like Glenn would at my age. When he saw you at my side,
  that's when he knew we were gay so he came to our table out of curiosity.:

     :Yours is a wonderful gift from our Father, love. You can Know a person's
  heart by what they've done in the past. I Felt how he miserable he was when
  he was sitting at my side at the table. That's my gift. To Look into someone's
  head and Know what they are thinking and feeling at that moment.:

     I roll off my lover's back and we turn to face each other. :Did you Hear
  him wanting our help?:

     :No. Only his great need that something had to change in his life. Mike!
  When he was about to leave our table, I'd Felt the hope in him die that he
  would ever love again. Seeing us reminded him more keenly of what he'd lost.
  He was thinking of... ending his terrible pain.:

     :You mean he was gonna kill himself? Because we made him feel so bad!:

     :Yes.:

     :If we hadn't gone to play mini golf at that park, he wouldn't have seen
  us and feel worse off than he already was.:

     :Henry would have endured a slow death from drinking himself into the
  ground or a quick death if we had let him go. Take your pick.:

     Alarm fills me. :We have to bring him back to the living, Jes!:

     :I know. Our presence at the mini golf park drew Henry closer to the
  cliff's edge where he was stumbling along before he saw us. He's ready to
  take the plunge. To death... or into our arms where we can help lift the
  heavy burden that's been weighing him down. Love? I want Hand-won't-grip to
  wake up beside you in the morning.: Jesse's voice is pleading: "Will you?"

     I was about to ask my lover if he's Seen something like that dream where
  he Saw me following Raven to help a boy in need. No. Jes needs no vision to
  guide him. His heart has and I'm feeling its strong pull as well. "I'll be
  there for Hand-won't-grip." I'm given a tight hug that casts away any second
  thoughts about it.

     "Yours is a good heart, love. It really is!"

     I'm given kisses that prevents me from saying something so I think to him.
  :For the rest of this night, I want to hold you.:

     :I want that too, more than you could ever know!:

     My eyes widen in fear when a Glimpse of what Jesse has been holding back
  from me escapes him. He doesn't think we'll have that many more nights to be
  together! Charms A Bird does battle against Trickster Eli Kie during the next
  dark moon. Jesse has sworn to help him even though he's been warned that it
  could result in him following that shaman to the Above. I stifle the cry in
  my throat. My thoughts turn guarded so he won't know that I know! My head is
  racing since what I'd also Glimpsed was that Charms A Bird had told him that
  I would not follow them in death. How can that be? Jes and I are life bonded.
  It doesn't make any sense!

     "Where are you, love?"

     "In your arms." I barely kept my voice from trembling. Jesse gives me the
  tightest hug I've ever had from him but that's because I'm also giving him a
  tight hug. He kisses me. I roll onto my back while carrying him over me. Where
  he's wet to the sheets is felt against my butt. I'm filling my head with the
  joy from making love to him. Charms A Bird has scolded me to dwell in the Now
  instead of worrying about what the future may bring. We have this moment
  together so I won't ruin it with talk. "I love you forever, Jes-ee-ah!"

     "Our love won't ever die."

     Tears sting my eyes after he uttered that last word. He has to know that I
  know what he'd meant by that because we Share our thoughts and feelings and
  he was born with the gift to Look into people. He says nothing about it. We
  hold each other long into the night until sleep finally claimed us.


     After sitting on the pot, I use a damp cloth to clean between my cheeks.
  I'm prepared to give myself to Henry in any way that he needs me. I hope that
  will only be by talking with him. He needs to end his mourning for Glenn. A
  yawn fills my mouth and then another. Jes and I didn't get to sleep until
  very late. It was wonderful holding him. We'll have many more nights to enjoy
  that. I'm surprised by an aching to my heart. Hmm. Why this sadness in me?
  It's like I've had a bad dream and can't remember what happened in it. Oh,
  well. Maybe it'll come back to me later.

     I flick the light switch that also turns off the exhaust fan. I'm hoping
  that going to the bathroom hasn't wakened Henry. I want to slip into bed
  beside him like Jesse's asked while he's still asleep. Otherwise, he'll ask
  why I'm there and that'll lead to our talk. Another yawn. I'm really sleepy.
  It's my hope that I can get a few more hours of rest.

     I tip toe around Henry's bed. The covers are gently draw down and I slip
  in beside him. In the faint light of morning's glow, I see that he's no
  longer sleeping on his belly. I'd suggested we do that. People who've drunk
  too much risk throwing up and I've heard that death can result from choking.
  We'd stripped Henry down to his underwear. After I rolled him onto his
  belly, Jes covered him up with a blanket and as an after thought, reached
  within to bare him completely. That didn't give me the chance to see his
  butt as much as I liked. What I'd seen from undressing him was exciting.
  This man has very brown skin, even darker than my lover's. There was
  strength seen in his arms and legs. I suppose that comes from hefting
  garbage cans five days a week. His body is more fleshed out than Jesse's.
  Not that you would say that Henry is fat but he certainly doesn't suffer
  from Marfan's.

     I turn onto my right side in bed. Henry had turned onto his right side
  during the night. After hearing his snores, I'm assured that he won't know
  what I'll be doing. My back arches forward to press my butt onto his groin.
  His cock feels limp. Very carefully and slow, I straighten out my body next
  to his until his chest is pressing against my back. He's still snoring. My
  sigh of relief erupts into a big yawn. I can barely keep my eyes open.

     A naughty thought comes to me to reach back for his butt. I've not seen it
  but my hand could outline its shape for me. No. That might wake him up. I'm
  needing a few more hours of sleep so I can enjoy the picnic with Jake later
  this afternoon. He'd better have studied up yesterday so he'll do well on his
  test this morning. Winna said that he needs to pass them so he'll graduate
  from the tenth grade. His classmates will be taking these tests in three
  weeks. We'll be taking Jake back home with us on Sunday. Wow. Winna did
  manage to gain Guardianship over the boy like she'd hoped for.

     I'm yawning again. It sounds loud in my ears but not as loud as Henry's
  snoring. Man! How can I get to sleep with a naked Indian next to me? I'm
  attracted to him as much as he likes white guys. Guilt fills me for being in
  bed with him. My lover is sleeping alone. He wants me to be with this man in
  any way that he needs me. It reminds me of how Jes pushed me onto his uncle.
  I didn't want to at first but when I learned what kind of man Running Water
  was, in need of my love so he could get over mourning for his lover while he
  helped anchor me when Jesse Pulled me to him that risked my spirit
  permanently leaving my body to my death... well. That's when we fell in love.
  It's not my intent to have Henry fall for me. Great distances separate us.
  Whatever happens between us today, I'll be returning to northern Montana
  while he remains in South Dakota. That's a relief. I don't think I could
  handle having three Indian lovers!

     I'm scolding myself to stop thinking. I need to get some sleep. My body is
  very excited from pressing up against Henry's body. Unlike my cock, his isn't
  hard. My butt can feel that when I humped myself against him just now. A
  sharp thrill shoots through my asshole. It wants this man inside it. I force
  myself to stop thinking about sex. My bodily sensations are ignored. A deep
  breath fills my lungs (turning into a noisy yawn) and I release it gently.
  I'm Reaching out to see if my lover is still asleep. He is. I Connect more
  strongly with him to Share in the bliss of where... he is... now...

     I see a tree. It's dead! Standing only a little taller than a man, its sad
  downward outstretching of long thin branches are bare of leaves. I know
  that's not because of winter. This is a weeping willow. A young naked boy
  stands before it. Somehow, I know his name: Running Wolf. His little hands
  lift from his sides in a rush when the last remaining leaf falls to him. He
  Catches Willow Bird. His lover Smiles A Lot who was murdered by a split tribe
  had also changed his outwards appearance. Not a transformation from tree back
  to human but one man to another. Willow Bird had Caught his lover's spirit as
  it loosened from its earthly tether. They Shared one body for a while. An
  enemy scout was also tortured unto death. When that man's spirit Flew to the
  Above, Smiles A Lot's spirit Passed into that empty body Willow Bird had just
  Healed for the sake of that tortured prisoner. He set that man free from the
  prisoners post not knowing at the time that it was Smiles A Lot reborn.

     Willow Bird became the boy Running Wolf. Smiles A Lot became that enemy
  scout. They met a moon later and Knew the other for who they were in spite
  of the changes to their outward appearance. They embraced, rejoicing in their
  undying love.

     'So shall it be for Jes-ee-ah. If his spirit is loosened from flesh, you
  will Catch him within you to dwell for a while. Another body empty of its
  spirit will then contain his spirit. You and him will rejoice in undying
  love as had happened with us.'

     I Ask, 'Will my lover still be who he was?'

     'His spirit is him.'

     'What about memories... him loving me and I for him?'

     'You have not a shaman's skill to keep Open his earthly experiences when
  he assumes a new body.'

     'He won't remember me then!' I cry out in woe.

     'Jes-ee-ah's former self was a great shaman.'

     Hope fills me but only for a moment. 'Good-eyes would take over that new
  body so he can live again.'

     'No. If the Trickster is slain and your lover is made to pay in dear coin
  for helping me in this necessary task, Good-eyes will hold to his promise
  unto me, your former self and your lover not to do this thing. If he has
  skill enough, all that Jes-ee-ah was will be Opened in his rebirth.'

     'You don't know for certain that Jesse will die... his body that is, that
  if it happens, Good-eyes can return him to me as he was?'

     'Nothing is certain, Short Hair. That is why your lover has held back from
  telling you so if my battle with Evil requires only my sacrifice, you would
  have been spared this terrible uncertainty. You've only recently been able to
  let go of your worries about the future and dwell on the Now. To know that
  your loved one could die and that he might not be returned to you, it may
  prove too great a burden for your shoulders to carry. Mine barely did when
  I'd thought my Smiles A Lot had Fallen to the Underworld. Yet he was Returned
  to me in spirit and his earthly experiences Open. The joy! My murdered lover
  was back in my arms though mine was that of a little boy and his an enemy
  scout's. Yet we remained who were to each other. That's what mattered.'

     'Why are Telling me all this if it was your intent and Jesse's to spare
  me the agony of not knowing what the future may bring?'

     'You have the darnest way of undoing my spells!' scolds Charms A Bird.
  'Kris remembered some of what I'd blocked in his head for his own protection
  and then you remembered even more. I'd thought that my second cast Spell of
  Forgetting was more cleverly sewn yet you've unraveled it.'

     'Sorry...'

     'No. I'm the one who's sorry since it has caused your lover more grief
  than you can know. You two are closely Connected. Secrets are very difficult
  to keep from the other though his skill is better than yours in this thing.'

     'Did he tattle on me last night and that's why you're Reaching out to me
  in my dream?'

     'Yes and yes.'

     'Then obscure this memory in my head again. Maybe your spell will endure.'

     'No and likely, it won't last any longer than my first casting. This
  secret is difficult for your lover to keep from you.'

     'I will remember when I wake up?'

     'Maybe not for a few days. With your permission, I'd like to set certain
  compulsions in you that may help ease your mind from undo worry.'

     'I hate secrets that are kept from me even if it's for the best! You've
  always told me the truth, Charms A Bird, and asked before taking.'

     'That is so. It is said that the truth will set you free. That has been my
  belief from the experiences of five lives. Yet your lover begged me to spare
  you this since it may not come about. The future is uncertain. He knows of
  your predilection to worry yourself to death or at the very least, to get
  another ulcer. I crafted the spell against my better judgment. It has failed.
  You will remember our Talk so tell Jes-ee-ah not to invoke that Power Word
  as he did in your arms last night since the forgetfulness will not last. You
  are so difficult, Mike Short Hair! Yet I am glad that you are since if
  there's anyone I'd bet money on to get through what may unfold, it's you.'

     'Thanks. I think that was a compliment. Right?' Charms A Bird cries out in
  exasperation to our Father.

     'Please! Have I not served You long enough to deserve my rest at last?'

     Those were grandfather's same words when he was tending to us after Jesse
  fell sick from leading that protest in front of the Havre Police station.

     'That Blackfoot Shaman was right. You two are such trouble makers! Then he
  remembered that there are four of you including your former selves which was
  too much for his two hands to handle.'

     'Sorry.' I know that Charms A Bird is only kidding. Mostly.

     'My strength is waning so we only have a few moments before I must Go...'

     There's a tickle felt in my head.

     'I've set the necessary compulsions.'

     'How will they ease my worry when I remember everything?'

     'Shh! I'm going to give you a mind burst now. It may hurt if you fight me.
  You won't be able to access what I'll give you for a few days.'

     'That's good. I have enough to worry about with a man who's sick at heart
  in bed with me.'

     'What is this?' Asks Charms A Bird. 'No matter. I'll Pull out your recent
  memories while Filling your head. I need you to think of Falling. You know.
  Like when you were a carefree little boy in his jam-jams who fell into bed
  where blissful sleep awaited you. Think of that. Do it! Only a moment
  remains to me before my strength is utterly spent.'

     I close my eyes (silly that, because they're already closed in sleep). I'm
  remembering turning around and just dropping into my soft bed that I knew
  will cushion my fall. It's a wonderful feeling of just letting go of all my
  cares if only for a moment. My little body twists around. I drop backwards,
  my head speeding towards the pillow though in that brief space of time there
  is no sensation of falling... There's an uncomfortable pressure between my
  ears. It's building up. Half seen images, spoken words, a shaman's ritual and
  emotion flash before my inner Sight. Too quick for me to See right now.

     My head hits the pillow. I'm smiling from my nightly trick until I feel
  arms around me. My sister? No. There's an urgent poking between my cheeks by
  something Sarah couldn't have down there. I return to the Now.

     My eyes pop wide open. It's Henry who's holding me tightly in his arms
  while his cock stabs wildly through my cheeks. I'm feeling wet in there. If
  he's cummed already, why isn't he resting? I rub my thighs together. No. It's
  not sperm but likely his sexual oozing from being very excited. Anger fills
  me because it seems like he's trying to rape me while I'm asleep. Well... He
  won't get away with it since I'm awake now!

     "Glennnnn," the man whispers. "My little love."

     I stop myself from turning around to shout 'BOO' as I was about to. Henry
  thinks I'm his love boy. That has to mean he's dream walking or, rather...
  dream fucking though his cock hasn't found my asshole. I'm Reaching out for
  Jesse to Ask what I should do but he's fast asleep. A sharp thrill goes
  through my butt. I'm trying to control my lusty desire for our bodies to
  join but it's difficult to ignore. What does my head tell me? This man has
  his lover in his arms which he doesn't know is me because he's asleep. It's
  going to give him a wet dream in a moment whether he fucks me or not. I
  shouldn't wake him up. They say that's a bad thing to do to a sleep walker.
  He can't hurt me. Not from cock thrusts (my cheeks feel that he's about the
  same size as Jesse) and I'm protected from sexual diseases he might have
  because of Charms A Bird's Blessing. My heart tells me that I'm not betraying
  Jesse's love. He practically threw me in this man's arms and knew that sex
  would surely follow. I'm a horny bastard. Like Ron was.

     My heart and head are in agreement. Lust shouts in me to let him do it! I
  spread my legs. My opening butt aims itself onto his cock which finds my hole
  and slips inside me more easily than I expected since there's no lube in me
  or even spit from rimming. Oh. His cock was dripping a lot. I'm gasping when
  Henry stabs all the way inside my ass. It feels like he's got a longer reach
  than Jesse, maybe even further than Running Water's cock though it isn't as
  thick which would pain me. I hear his lustful moan. His left hand relaxes
  over my hairy chest for a moment, tightens when driving himself back into my
  asshole. Ahhh! What a sensation. I'm feeling the upwards bend to his cock
  that keeps its knob from landing too hard against my prostate gland. That's
  good. I'm still not used to that pain/tickle deep in my ass. If his thrusts
  were massaging it, I'd be wailing out a lot. He might wake up from hearing
  that from me.

     The fast squishy sound from butt fucking gets my face burning. I look over
  at Jesse in embarrassment. There's just enough morning light leaking through
  the curtains to make him out. He's facing away from me. A blanket covers him
  up to his head that's flowing with black hair where an eagle's feather is
  tied to it. I Reach out to my lover. He's still asleep. So is the man behind
  me which is surprising by what he's doing to my ass.

     I'm a willing gay fuck. Henry's stabs are very thrilling, more so because
  I've not gotten a look at his cock. Only from the way it's filling my asshole
  real deep, lack of getting painfully stretched (Running Water could because
  his cock is so thick!) and not pounding my prostate provides me with this
  man's shape and size. His cum will shoot far up my butt. A sharp breath is
  sucked into my mouth at that thought. Giving vent to a man's lust is the most
  exciting part! I hope that I'll be able to feel his squirts; will they be
  strong and many of them? If he's not beat off recently or given his load to
  another man, it'll be so.

     Henry is muttering his lover's name again. I barely heard it through his
  moaning (they're coming fast and loud), the bed creaking below us and that
  drum like pounding by his tom-tom. I'm stifling my moans. My lips are pressed
  tight together so I can only breathe through my nose. I'm gonna lose my breath
  in a minute. My face forms a tense grimace from the building sensations from
  my butt. This man's balls slap against it, his long cock is stabbing me quick
  and hard with the ride of my life! I try ignoring the pain from his fingers
  digging into my left breast. His right hand hangs limp in the air at my neck.
  Both of his arms are surging around my arms that have been pinned to my side.

     I back my ass onto him to keep his cock very deep in me. His thick groin
  hair tickles my cheeks. Henry grunts out. Is he cumming in me? No. His stabs
  are getting faster though they can't plow the entire length of my hole. I'm
  squeezing their muscles tight together like Jesse does when I'm fucking him.
  There's a kiss to my neck. No. It's only his mouth near me since he's panting
  like a dog. I'm thrilled by his manly performance even though he's doing me
  in his sleep. Such proficiency means that Henry has lain with a lot of men
  through the night or maybe he was often doing his boy. He's gonna wake up
  before long. 'Finish it!' I beg. At that moment, he does.

     There is a thrilling gush felt deep in my asshole or maybe I'm only
  feeling his cock throbbing like a fireman's hose when its nozzle is opened.
  I've already lost track of how many times he's squirting in me. I didn't feel
  his cock stiffening up like Jesse's, Running Water's and Simon's when
  they're about to cum. This man's cock isn't that thick. A long reach though!
  When his body slowly relaxes from its wild drive in mine, I realize that I've
  not heard his joyful outcry at the end. Not even an exhale.

     It's done. I try relaxing in Henry's arms that have become limp around me.
  That's difficult because my cock is so hard and aching for release. I've
  promised my lover to only express that part of my body with him. This man's
  cock has given me his wet love. No. Only a sexual release but I recall him
  calling out Glenn's name. He must have really loved that boy. My butt has
  stolen what was meant for him. That gives me some guilt. I was gonna turn
  around to belly rub with this man for my necessary release until remembering
  my promise to Jesse. Henry's wild pounding in my ass has built up pressure
  in my loins that are hurting me a lot.

     I remain still against Henry. The throbbing to his cock slows to the
  steady beat of his heart. He'll fall deeper asleep now from the weariness
  that comes after having sex but I'm proven wrong.

     There's a gasp of surprise. Henry pushes on my back when he slips out of
  my butt in a rush. I've squeezed my asshole shut so it won't leak too much.
  Should I turn around and assure him that it's alright? He flings the blanket
  back and scoots off our bed before I could act. I'm Sensing him standing to
  watch me for a moment. I remain still and make gentle snoring noises through
  my nose to feign sleep. Why have I decided to do that? I hear the bathroom
  door opening with a whoosh of air. It's closed behind him. Does the man
  realize that he's fucked me? His dripping cock is gonna prove that to him in
  a moment. I should have turned around to give him a smile at the very least.
  Now, he'll be wondering if I'll be angry at him for 'raping' me. Is he gonna
  be alright with it when I tell him? I'm sure that he's fucked other guys in
  motel rooms.

     Jes hasn't stirred since I last peered over at him. He's still sleeping.
  I'm relieved about that. Him knowing (later) that I've had sex with Henry is
  much different than if he were to see it with his own eyes.

     I wiggle my ass to try getting a sense of how much cum is in me. There's
  that silky sensation from a filled butt hole. A sly grin crosses my lips.
  I've taken cum from three men in one 'standing'. Running Water fucked me
  twice, then Jesse made love to me as Simon watched (in awe) while his hands
  felt over those parts of our bodies that were joined in mating. He got his
  turn afterwards. Four loads of cum were put in my butt. Man! That blew my
  mind to have their sperm mingling inside me. The rear part of my body is like
  a woman's pussy (more pleasurable for them since an asshole is tighter!)
  yet I won't be wondering who the father is. No baby results from the mating
  between men. I sure wouldn't want to endure the pain of giving birth.

     I'm reliving how my butt 'stole' Henry's sperm just now. Since he was
  sleeping, could that be considered rape - me perpetrating that on him since
  he thought I was Glenn? Naw. He must have fucked other men in those eight
  years after the boy. My thoughts return to him doing me. What a great ride!
  His arms were surging around me, the smoothness of an Indian's chest was felt
  against my back and his long cock! Its sweetness is in my honey pot to enjoy.
  I reach between my cheeks and bring back wet fingers to my nose. A sniff.
  Yup. That's cum alright.

     My cock is feeling intense so I let it go. Man! I didn't even realize that
  I've been beating off. I'll save myself for my lover so we can both enjoy its
  release. I really need to do that right now. As I'm pulling back the covers,
  something strikes me wrong. Henry is sure taking his time in there. Hey. I'm
  not hearing the exhaust fan running. Hitting the light switch starts it.
  There's no window in the bathroom so it's like totally dark in there. You
  could take a piss. If he were only doing that, he would be done by now. I get
  the feeling that he's hiding in there, hurting over what's happened. My feet
  step onto the carpet and I walk up to the bathroom door. Should I knock?

     My closed right hand makes a gentle pounding. No answer. "Henry? Can I
  come in, please?" After waiting for a moment, he still hasn't answered me.
  "I really need to use the bathroom." That's a lie and I'm hating myself for
  it but when the door opens a crack, we exchange glances. He's teary eyed and
  he quickly looks down at my feet in shame. I push my way inside. I'm startled
  when the door closes behind me. It's dark so my fingers fumble along the wall
  to find the light switch.

     "Please don't turn it on."

     Henry's voice was a mere whisper but I heard the pleading in it from below
  me on my left. I'm squatting down. "Are you alright?"

     "No."

     My heart aches to hear him say that. Before I'm able to explain things,
  he's doing that himself. His words fly out of his mouth without a chance for
  me to interrupt.

     "I was sleeping when it happened. I thought you was Glenn in my arms. He
  was my lover. We often slept together at his house since his mom worked the
  night shift. His father was looking for a job on the East Coast. Just now, I
  dreamed that I was with him like it was! If I'd known it was you, I wouldn't
  have had sex with you. Please believe me, Mike!"

     "I'm cool with it." Before I'm able to let him know that Jesse would
  understand too, he asks me something.

     "Were you asleep too?" asks Henry.

     "At first. I let you do it since I'd felt your joy to have Glenn back in
  your arms. I knew you were dreaming of being with him. You uttered the boy's
  name a few times against my ear. I'm sorry if..."

     "No! I'm the one who's sorry, Mike. If Jesse finds out what happened,
  we'll tell him that you were asleep during it so I'll take all the blame."

     "But that's not what happened. It's not your fault and besides, he..."
  Henry cuts me off again!

     "I don't want you to lose your lover like I did! He won't understand and
  even if he does, after this, he won't trust you. Ever. You've only known each
  other for a month..."

     "You need to know something!" It's like he didn't hear me.

     "I was with Glenn for almost two years but in all that time of proving how
  much I loved him, he wondered if I were cheating on him with a man. I wasn't.
  He'd felt really insecure because we both knew it was illegal for me to have
  sex with a minor. 'Jail bait' is what he often called himself to remind me to
  be careful about sleeping over at his house too often. We couldn't help
  ourselves. I loved him with all my heart and I knew that he loved me in spite
  of not being able to say the words. Glenn gave himself to me in every way
  that proved his heart was stuck on me."

     Henry pauses to take a few breaths. I've decided to let him spill his guts
  out and in hearing about his relationship with Glenn and how it ended, I'll
  be better prepared to talk to him.

     "He was only a boy yet I fucked him because he knew how much I wanted to
  and he really liked giving me his ass. We loved each other! That's more than
  just having sex because we did fun things together. He liked riding on the
  back of my motorcycle, we went fishing, I helped him with homework and lots
  of other things that really close friends do for each other. You probably
  don't think that a boy at fifteen knows what he's doing but Glenn did!"

     There's a long pause and I get the idea that he wants to hear what I think
  about him being with a minor. "I'm sure that he was old enough to understand
  that what you had together was very special. A love like I have for Jesse."
  I'm bothered that Glenn was unable to say that he loved him out loud. It
  reveals that the boy may have been reluctant about other things or unsure of
  himself that proved he still needed some growing up to do, in his head.

     "It'll be my fault if you lose Jesse because of what I did with you! The
  pain from losing a lover is more than you could bear, Mike. Believe me!"

     There's a soft sound against the floor. I can't see Henry but I'm thinking
  he's dropped to his butt. I'm turning to sit beside him in the dark. He
  flinches when our sides touch. That stops me from holding his hand that I was
  about to do. "It's gonna be alright, Hand-won't-grip. Jesse asked me to be
  at your side when you woke up this morning. He knew that we'd have sex if
  that would help you."

     "What?"

     "We saw how much you were suffering last night."

     "How do you know that's... my name?"

     I can't tell him about our Powers! That would confuse an already confusing
  situation that I'm trying to dig us out of. A lie would serve better here. My
  mouth opens when I remember someone telling me that the truth will set you
  free. Jesse didn't want me know about a terrible secret but someone told me.
  Who?

     "That's my boyhood name: Hand-won't-grip. I've not used it for many years.
  Who told you?"

     I'm wetting my lips as if that will release its lie more easily. "You did.
  Last night, you got really drunk and said things." What he 'told' me had
  actually come from me Gleaning him.

     Henry won't speak again. I've counted to ten heartbeats to be sure of it.
  "Take my hand. If you really don't go by that name anymore... prove it." I
  slowly swing out my left arm until it touches his chest. He gasps. "Please."

     His right hand timidly runs up my arm until our hands clasp. His is
  trembling. This is a grown man sitting beside me yet he's emotionally stuck
  in boyhood. I've heard that in his voice and the rush of words that's
  spilled out of him. No wonder he can't get over mourning his first love.

     "You are nicer than I could ever imagine, Mike."

     "Thank you for saying that." My face begins to burn. "Let's get off this
  cold floor. Okay?" I'm slowly getting to my feet and pull on his hand to lift
  him up. He's taken towards the door where I find the glowing light switch and
  flick it on. We face each other. As much as my eyes want to drop and check
  out his cock, I fix them on his face. It's rugged like I'd seen at the mini
  golf park. Pocked marks mar what would have been a handsome Indian face.
  I'm scolding myself. Beauty also comes from within. This man is hurting bad
  but there's a chance Jes and I can help him. He's reached out to us like my
  lover said. My hand is being held like he won't ever let it go.

     Henry looks up at the exhaust fan. "It makes enough noise."

     I'm slowly nodding though I don't take his meaning.

     "Jesse can't hear us."

     Henry didn't believe when I told him that my lover wanted me to be with
  him. "Jes asked me to be at your side when you woke up. I swear to you that
  I'm telling you the truth." There's still disbelief in his eyes. "May my
  spirit become wingless to the afterlife if what I've just sworn to you is a
  lie in our Father's ear!"

     "He wanted you to have sex with me?" asks Henry.

     "No." His eyes widen in fear. "He wanted me to make love to you if that
  would help you get over Glenn. I wronged you for what happened in bed. You
  thought that your lover was in your arms. I'm sorry."

     "Are you for real?"

     There's doubt in Henry's eyes. If I've understood what he's meant by those
  words and I think I have, it aches my heart. I'm only able to nod in reply.
  He's still not sure about me. With Jesse fast asleep, I can't Draw on his
  ability to Sense what someone is thinking or feeling. My Power to Glean only
  lets me know about what they've done in the past. An idea comes to me to
  prove that I am 'for real'. I'm pulling on his hand and open the bathroom
  door so we can talk with Jesse. My arms is tugged on hard, stopping me.

     "We can't go out there like this."

     When Henry looks down at himself, I look down. His uncut cock is sleeping
  over a really dark sac of balls. His tuft of groin hair is as I've imagined
  it when it tickled against my cheeks while he was fucking me. Strength bulges
  in his calves and thighs. A stout upper body. Not from being fat, that comes
  from working as a garbage collector. It's given him good muscle tone though
  there's some fat around his waist and to his belly. Probably from chugging
  down beers all the time. I'm sure he eats better than Jesse.

     While I've been looking at Henry, he's been checking me out. Does he like
  the hair on my body? His eyes lingered on my cock a few times. A thrill goes
  through me when he stares at my butt.

     "Go and use the toilet. Okay?"

     He lets my hand go. "I don't need to go right now." A grin creeps on my
  lips and when my left hand rubs over my cheeks, he realizes that I'm wanting
  to hold his sperm in me for a while longer. That has the man frowning.

     "I'm getting back to my bed." Henry's eyes flare to get his meaning across.

     "We can talk there. This floor is sure cold!" I'm lifting up each foot in
  turn with a grin.

     "No. You should go back to your lover, Mike."

     I Sense that Henry wants to get back into his clothes and leave. My eyes
  widen. Jesse must be awake now. :My love?:

     :Are you two going to spend all morning in the bathroom?:

     :No. I've asked Henry to talk with me in bed. He's asked me to go back to
  you so he can sneak away. That's what I've just Sensed from him.:

     :Your talk hasn't gone well?: Asks Jesse.

     :I thought it was. He told me a lot about Glenn, how they loved each other
  but nothing about how it ended.: Jes wants to Peek in my head and I let him.
  There's that familiar Pulling sensation. Now he knows everything. That gets my
  face burning but to my relief, he doesn't Comment about this man fucking me.

     :You did better than I expected from you, love. What's hanging him up is
  that he can't face me after what happened between you two."

     :I think you're right.:

     :I'll return to sleep, love. Get into bed with him however you can manage
  it and have a good long talk. If you get into trouble, I'll 'wake up' and
  save your ass.:

     :Too late for that.: My laugh is kept in my throat so Henry won't wonder
  what I've found so humorous. Jesse is giggling, making it twice as hard for
  me not to break out in laughter. Oh-oh. I see the way Henry is looking at my
  face and something must have shown on it that's upset him. He wouldn't
  believe me if I told him the truth. What I end up doing is give this man a
  hug. His hands remain at his side (not a good sign) but he isn't pushing me
  awa.

     "Mike."

     "I'm a white skin like I've told you so my words have probably been too
  clumsy," I rush to explain. "Please believe me that Jesse and I want to
  help you. We're like brothers to each other because we're gay."

     "Why would you want to bother with me when you have a lover? I can slip
  out of your room unnoticed by Jesse and that will be that."

     My arms tighten around Henry. I'm Sensing his confusion that is starting
  to turn to anger because he thinks I'm playing with him. Tears sting my eyes.
  I bury my face in his neck while Calling out to my lover to save my ass.

     :Be patient, love. He's still working things out in his head and what his
  heart is telling him. Just hold him. Don't say anything and if he storms out
  of the bathroom, I'll come to the rescue.:

     :Alright.:

     "Why are you crying?" asks Henry.

     I'm sniffling noisily through my nose. Jes Asked me not to say anything.
  I rub my face back and forth across his shoulder to wipe away my tears yet
  I lose it again when this man's arms come around my back, timidly at first
  but he tightens our hug. My belly is heaving from trying to keep my sobs from
  ursting out of me.

     "Shh, Glenn..."

     Henry realizes what he's said. Before I could stop myself, words spill
  from my mouth. "I wish that I were him... for you."

     "Mike. You have a lover who can hold you."

     "I need your hug right now." Henry fondly pats my back and I try calming
  myself since Indians don't like seeing such a weak display in a man. He's
  gonna end our hug. I don't want silly tears running down my face when we
  stand apart. Jesse Calls out to me.

     :Tell him that he deserves to have a lover of his own!:

     I give Henry those words. The grunt in his throat sounded like a strong
  "No" he stopped himself from uttering. "You do deserve love. Everyone does
  but it isn't easily won so when it's lost, people punish themselves by
  thinking it was all their fault or give up trying to find the next lover."

     :Good words, love. I'm proud of you.:

     :But will Henry take them to heart?: I'm surprised when his left hand
  falls down my back to hold my butt.

     "Are you hurting there?"

     "No." I try Sensing what Henry is up to. It's not like him to touch me
  that way after all the things we've said.

     "I was dreaming at the time but if your ass is even half as good as I
  imagined, it's no wonder that Jesse loves you."

     Henry's words don't sound right in my ears. What is he doing?

     :A test, love!:

     That's what I was thinkingtoo. My butt is fondled more lustfully by the
  man's hand and he tries turning me around.

     "You have a nice ass, Mike. I've fucked lots of white guys but I'm sure
  theirs isn't as tight as yours. Let me find out. Okay?"

     Henry has managed to turn me in his arms. When his limp cock tickles
  against my cheeks and I'm not Feeling anything lustful from him for my butt,
  that proves what Jes and I have been thinking. "No, Hand-won't-grip."

     "That isn't my name."

     I Feel his anger. "It is your true self whom you've turned your back on."

     "Your back is to me now. I want to fuck you again, Mike."

     "My true name is Short Hair. I'm trying to follow the good red road. My
  lover is helping me keep my feet on the path. You've taken a wrong turn in
  your life but last night, you stepped back on to meet us. We want to help
  you. Really!"

     "Help by letting me do you. I know you want my cock as much as it wants to
  feed your white ass."

     Anger fills me. "I'm not another white guy for you to fuck and forget.
  I've told you how sorry I am for what happened earlier. You thought I was
  Glenn but he's only a dream yt you still cling to it or worse, blame
  yourself for losing him and you won't open your heart to find another lover.
  I'm sure that Glenn would want you to be happy. He probably is."

     :Love! You may have struck him too hard with such truth. Don't say any
  more now. If he can endure your sharp words then there is hope for him.:

     "Don't say his name!" shouts Henry. "You tricked me into thinking he was
  in my arms!"

     In a low voice, "I didn't make you dream about him." My calmer voice and
  the truth has given Henry pause. His fists slowly relax though there's anger
  blaring in his eyes. If it comes to a fight between us, there's no room to
  maneuver in here. The door isn't open wide enough for me to easily escape.

     "Your desire for my cock was satisfied in that hot little butt of yours.
  I've heard your sweet lies. A Trickster does that to the unwary but I'm not
  as stupid as you think."

     Rage burns in me like an out of control fire. "I have fought against such
  a one and so has Jes-ee-ah! That's how my lover earned his eagle's feather.
  He is to follow in his grandfather's footsteps as the tribe's next shaman. We
  have pledged ourselves to help bring those who share our spirit back into the
  Light but I can see now that you'd rather hide in the dark." My hand angrily
  strikes the light switch. I'm opening the door and leave him behind.

     :It's time that I come to save your ass, love!:

     :You mean his.: Jesse meets me near the bed and we embrace. My whole body
  is trembling. He tries soothing me with a back rub while I cling to him with
  woe in my heart. :I'm really bad at trying to speak from my heart.:

     :No. Not this time, love. I've Heard what you said to Hand-won't-grip but
  his heart is closed to hear your good words. It's his fault. You can only
  offer someone help but they must be willing to accept it.:

     A sixth sense warns us that we're being watched. I'm turned away from the
  bathroom so Jesse lets me See Henry. He's standing just outside it. There's
  a plain expression on his face so we don't know what he'll do. No Sense of
  him is given me from my lover so either he can't Look into him or he doesn't
  want to.

     :The next move is his, love. I won't waste effort on him since my hands
  are rather full at the moment.:

     Jesse kisses the left side of my face and then my right side. We continue
  holding each other. Henry just stands there as if rooted to the carpet. He's
  probably thinking of something to say that will get him out of our motel room
  while saving face.

     "Are you the one who led that protest in front of the police station?"
  asks Henry.

     Jesse nods.

     "He's Mike Yager, isn't he? I've heard about the trouble the police have
  given you on the news."

     Another nod, then Jesse speaks up with pride. "My tribe made me war leader
  and we made a show of strength for all to see. There are corrupt policemen.
  I wanted them to know that truth is on our side which burns in our hearts so
  no one had better dare harm my lover again!"

     Through Jesse's eyes, I See that Henry is struck by such strong words. We
  Sense that the man is taking that warning to heart; he'd better not dare harm
  me or he'll answer to a war leader.

     "Very nearly everything that Short Hair said to you was the truth but you
  need to open your heart to Hear it."

     Henry shakes his head back and forth as if not understanding what Jes
  meant. I'm Asked to turn around and be at my lover's side to face this man.
  We hold hands. Power rises in us that is but a dim ray of Light our Father
  Casts upon His children from love. Yet its Glow is enough. This man's eyes
  are Filled that flows down to his heart of ice, melting it so that Truth
  can enter. Jesse is already rushing forward to offer this lost one a hug.
  We'd Sensed his need for it. A terrible wail comes out of the man that is his
  pain he's kept inside him for all those years after losing his lover. My arms
  wrap around both of them.


     We're taking a shower while Hand-won't-grip lays over his bed. He's
  emotionally exhausted and so are we.

     :He needed to be rid of his pain.:

     I rinse soap from the back of my lover. My kiss is given to his neck,
  tickling him that gets his shoulders to lift. :You did that, Jes. I'm very
  proud of you.:

     :We did, love. Through us, our Father's Light shines into those who are
  worthy. That man is. We've filled his heart with the truth after giving him a
  little nudge.:

     I'm reaching down to my ass and laugh. :He's filled my asshole after I
  gave him a little 'nudge'.: "Ahhh!" Jesse giggles when hearing my lustful
  moan out loud.

     "That good um trade. Huh, pale face?" says Jesse in broken English.

     I'm laughing harder. A sobering thought comes to me. :Jesse? Maybe we
  shouldn't be kidding about serious things when invoking our Father in the
  same breath.:

     :Charms A Bird was kidding us all the time. He's lived through five lives
  and lightning hasn't struck him down for speaking sacrilege.:

     :Alright. But still...: My thoughts turn to what Jes asked me earlier in
  jest about a good trade. "Hand-won't-grip's heart was filled with the truth
  so he can hope for love again while my butt was only filled with cum. That
  Indian made out better in our trade."

     :Are you sure?: Asks Jesse.

     I think about what he's getting at. It was from the love Hand-won't-grip
  had for Glenn which was given to me. I knew it for what it was, that my butt
  was filled from a sex act from someone I hardly knew. Hmm. Someone once tried
  to convince me that sex is love in itself at that moment of shared joy. Ouch!
  My head starts hurting bad.

     :That serves you right for thinking too much.:

     I goose Jesse's little butt.

     :You can do more than that to it if you want, love.:

     :I'm really tempted.: I'm remembering that naked man resting over his bed.
  :I'd gotten the impression at the end our talk that you wanted us to have
  sex... ah, make love to him if he's up to it.:

     Jesse giggles. :What he told you in the bathroom was true. You want his
  cock just as much as it wants to feed your white ass.:

     :It's your turn to ride him.:

     :I've Felt that he isn't attracted to me. He won't feed my brown ass.:

     :I'm not gonna make love to him if you're left out of it.:

     :I like to watch, love.:

     :Oh, no!: A compromise comes to me that worked when I was 'Middle Loved'
  between Runner Water and Jesse at the hot tub. They couldn't have sex with
  each other because they consider it taboo yet we managed to form a loving
  trio. My secret name really fits me. :If his cock feeds me, I'll in turn feed
  yours. He can really plow an ass! My cock had ached me so much that I was
  tempted to turn around to belly rub with him.:

     :Too bad you didn't, love.:

     :Our promises to each other still hold, right Jes?:

     :You can be such a spoil sport.:

     My lover sticks his tongue out at me while I'm drying him off with a towel.
  :You know where you can put that, Jes.: I'm spinning around and bend over,
  sticking my butt out. He gooses me instead. "Hey!"

     :Just returning the favor.:

     Yeah. I had goosed his butt in the shower earlier. We're dried off so we
  streak out of the bathroom. Hand-won't-grip is waiting just outside. His
  cock is stiff along his belly. Wow. This is my first view of it being hard.
  Jes also stares at it in awe. This man has a really long cock with a slight
  upwards bend to it near its knob like I'd felt in my asshole. His shaft isn't
  as thick as Jesse's though.

     "I need to take a piss real bad," explains Hand-won't-grip.

     "You shouldn't have waited for us to come out," answers Jesse.

     The man only nods in reply. I get one last look at his erection before he
  rushes into the bathroom. His ball sac is very brown. My eyes now enjoy the
  rear of him but only for a moment. He's closing the door behind him. What I'd
  seen of his ass makes me appreciate Jesse's the more so. My lover has a pair
  of boy sized cheeks that stick out nicely from his body. Hand-won't-grip's
  butt is muscular; the proper shape for a man. Running Water's ass looks more
  attractive and he lets guys do it all they want. Bearpaw Park at night comes
  to mind.

     :I wonder if Hand-won't-grip has given that part of himself to men.:

     I'm shrugging my shoulders. It don't matter to me because him and I won't
  be fitting our bodies together in that way. Only with Jes will my cock express
  its manly function. I watch my lover picking up clothes. That reminds me...

     :I know, love. I'm going to ask my mom if she can wash our clothes so
  we'll be presentable this afternoon.:

     My eyes widen in alarm. :What if she learns that there's a man in our
  room! How will we explain that to her?:

     :I've already worked everything out, love. You really do worry too much.:

     Jes Sends me a mind burst. A sly grin forms on my lips and I help him
  gather all of our dirty clothes. He picks up the phone. A digital clock on
  the night stand shows that it's nearly nine. Winna should be up by now.


     Everything didn't go exactly as planned. Winna found our heap of clothes
  in front of the door alright but she knocked first, exchanging some words
  with her son while he stood naked as a jay bird at the slight opening of the
  door. I'm losing my modesty that Indians had forgone centuries ago and
  proved it by standing behind Jesse with the keys to my truck reaching out
  the door to her.

     :My mom could only have seen your face and your right arm.:

     :She saw much more of you than that, Jes.:

     :It's not like she hasn't seen me naked before.:

     His recent illness comes to mind. :I sure wouldn't want my mother to see
  me in the buff!:

     :My mom saw you in the buff. Remember when she cut your hair?:

     :Yeah. But she's not my... blood mother.: I was gonna Say 'real' mother
  but that's not so. After we're married, Winna will be my mother-in-law.
  Already, I consider her my mom.

     We sit at the edge of our bed. My lover's left hand automatically finds my
  hand that was also reaching for his. Until Winna returns from the Laundromat,
  we can't take a step out of our room. Every stitch we've brought down with us
  from home is off to be washed. Jesse timed it so his mom's arrival coincided
  with our guest taking a shower. None the wiser. My hand is squeezed.

     :When Hand-won't-grip comes out of the bathroom, let him decide on his own
  if he's going to get dressed and leave or if he wants some loving first.:

     My eyes widen when realizing something. Jes now sees the slight flaw in
  his plan as well. If our guest wants to leave now, it'll be a long walk for
  him back to Rosebud or wherever he's living unless it's in Mission. Winna
  has taken my truck to the Laundromat. Hand-won't-grip's truck was left at
  the mini golf park when we drove him to our motel last night. How can he get
  back to it?

     Jesse turns to me with longing on his face and much happiness. I'm also
  glad that we were able to help Hand-won't-grip. Our talk was a long one. We
  told him some about us (not our Connection or the Powers we possess), how
  we're seeing Jake later this afternoon and his eyes widened when learning
  that the boy is gay. It hit me then that there's three gay relations in
  Winna's family.

     In return, Hand-won't-grip told us how he lost Glenn. I'd Gleaned most of
  that already from him last night. What he added was that he couldn't chase
  after Glenn in New York City because the boy's parents would surely suspect
  that something was going on between them and with their son being a minor
  and all... Now, too many years have passed to return to Glenn so he should
  move on with his life. The man's other loss - his parents and his culture
  could be regained. Jes suggested that enough time had passed for him to
  return to his family to see if they would welcome him back. What did he have
  to lose? Strength comes from being part of his People. Hand-won't-grip
  promised that he would act on my lover's suggestions. His heart felt free.
  Jes and I smiled knowingly to ourselves that he will find another. He'll be
  ready for love again.

     Hand-won't-grip comes out of the bathroom at last. Jes and I were getting
  worried that he was hiding in there again. We set our hands over our laps
  instead of holding them in front of the man. That would have sent the wrong
  message if we're to try getting it on with him. When we smile from our bed,
  he smiles back. I'm trying not to look too much at his dark smooth body yet
  I long for it. Jes knows this.

     To our disappointment, Hand-won't-grip gets his clothes from the chair and
  he pulls on his underwear. I release a sigh.

     "You're not getting dressed?" asks Hand-won't-grip.

     "Mom took all our clothes from us," explains Jesse.

     We see the alarm in this man's face.

     "Does she know that I've slept here?" the man asks.

     "No. I timed it so she came by to pick them up from us while you were in
  the shower. She's gone to the Laundromat."

     I add, "She's driving my truck so we're stuck in this room without a
  stitch to wear. We don't expect that she'll return for at least two hours."
  Hand-won't-grip was hurriedly getting his clothes on but he relaxes. He's now
  wearing underwear and a shirt. His jeans are hanging from his left hand.

     Hand-won't-grip and I exchange looks. For the first time, he's not seeing
  me as the boy he's lost but for who I am. He glances at Jesse sitting at my
  side over our bed. I'm getting to my feet. Without appearing to be rushing, I
  walk over to him. My arms spread with longing filling my face. He gives me
  the hug we both want. Jes Says that he's looking over my shoulder at him.
  My lover smiles back happily, and he even gives the man a nod that couldn't
  be misinterpreted. "We have a few hours to kill before driving you back to
  your truck. Ah. Your shirt buttons are digging into my chest."

     When we part, Hand-won't-grip looks me right in the eye. I endure his
  staring which he ends by glancing over at Jesse. My fingers reach down for
  his bottommost button and release it. That gets the man helping me until his
  shirt comes off. My eyes sweep up and down his brown chest. As much as I want
  to palm over his breast, I Sense that would spook him. This is a delicate
  moment. He's trying to decide if he wants to do something with me or not.

     "Short Hair's heart is a good one. We love each other very much and share
  that with our other gay brothers. If you want..." Jesse's voice trails off.

     I'm hugging Hand-won't-grip again. His smooth chests presses against mine
  so he's feeling my soft hair against him. I know that Indians like that in us
  white guys. Our arms tighten around each other. When my hands rub over his
  back, he rubs my back. My cock tingles. It's lifting from my balls and
  presses into his male bulge in his underwear. My left hand slowly falls down
  his back until I'm fingering into its elastic band. His left hand has dropped
  to my hip. I breathe in deeply.

     Neither of us seem able to take the plunge. I'm fingering into the man's
  underwear while his left hand remains on my hip, so close to what he'd rather
  be cupping behind my body. My hard cock sticks onto the long bulge within his
  underwear. Jesse comes to our side. We watch his long arms reach out to bare
  my companion. Our cocks tease against each other. His has gotta be at least
  seven inches long. Mine is thicker, even without a foreskin that he's
  retained. My lover's hands pull on our butts to force our bellies together.
  It's a thrilling meeting of male stiffness and warmth. Hand-won't-grip peers
  at Jes with bewilderment on his face.

     "Be with Short Hair," Jesse asks which sounded more like granting his
  permission. "You are not the first man that I've shared my lover with and you
  won't be the last."

     "You two are into swinging?" asks Hand-won't-grip.

     "Swinging? I don't know what that means."

     "A trio, I think, Jes." We see in this man's eyes that I'm right.

     "I don't think you're attracted to me," mutters Jesse. "That's alright.
  I'm not going to jump in with you two." He reaches down for his thing in a
  gesture that it's aching him. "I'm going to take a piss."

     My lover scurries off to the bathroom. :Thanks, Jes!:

     :Watch yourself, love. When I'm out of sight, you might get raped. Don't
  be calling out to me to save your ass!:

     I'm smiling at my lover's teasing. He knows and I know and this man knows
  that my butt wants to get fucked. The bathroom door closes soundly. I'm
  feeling a hand rubbing over my face. That makes me become shy 'cause it may
  lead to kissing and I don't know if I'd be comfortable doing that with him.
  Especially if Jes sees us doing it.

     "You have a very handsome face, Mike."

     I mutter my thanks to him. Our cocks are pressed together but they're not
  rubbing. Our embrace feels very sensual. Is Hand-won't-grip reluctant to do
  more with me 'cause he expects my lover to come out of the bathroom at any
  minute? Jes Tells me he'll linger in there for a while.

     "He's very lucky to have you for a lover."

     "No. I mean yes... ah, I'm very lucky to have him. We both are."

     Hand-won't-grip smiles knowingly. "What confused me about you earlier was
  that you seem so sincere by speaking directly from your heart that at moments
  sounded very mature but at other times." The man releases a trembling breath.

     I'm only nodding in reply. Hand-won't-grip is still rubbing over my face
  and it feels good. He looks at me intently and I look at him between peering
  down at our bellies (our cocks are hidden from view though I see his dark
  brown knob popped up from our tummies), his tits sticking out from two dark
  ovals, his shoulder length hair and other parts of his body just so my eyes
  won't be locked on his.

     "I know why you won't touch my face, Mike. It's alright."

     "You aren't ugly or anything!"

     Hand-won't-grip laughs gently. "I'm not exactly handsome either. No. Why I
  think you won't is that it could lead to us kissing and you don't want that."

     "Sorry."

     "Don't be. I understand. It's strange to be in your arms when your lover
  is near."

     "I know what you mean." We're both smiling but too, there's much longing
  on our faces for each other. Will he make love to me?

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