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 SHAMAN-WILLOW-BIRD-10                      "Shaman Willow Bird" story series
 Shaman Willow Bird (part 10)               Copyright 2001-2002 by Vince Water
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*                            "Shaman Willow Bird"                      05/02 *
*                                 (part 10)                                  *

     Night's Star races past the tree-barked lodges with his long swift legs.
My eyes fall low over him. Only a meager flap covers the boy's butt, dancing
from his quick strides that gives me glimpses of his pale cheeks. Very nice.
I've felt them surging in my hands when our bodies had joined for fucking
(outside the men's big lodge one night and in the woods near Spirit Lake) and
when sucking on this boy's thick dick, my hands around his humping to coax a
drink from his loins. I was bonded to Big Horn then. Otherwise, I might have
tried sticking into this boy's butt. I'm sure that his is a very tight one.

     I scold myself. Night's Star was only briefly mine. Sings-to-the-birds is
this boy's lover so I must forget what we've done together. Seems like such a
long time ago.

     We pass by Moss-bowl People who raise their hands to me in greeting.
Night's Star doesn't slow his pace ahead of me. My eyes look the boy over with
longing for what we once had together. He's a very needing youth, filled with
questions about his emerging sexuality that I'd answered as best I could. No
shyness in this one. He was quick to join our bodies in love making earlier
this summer.

     A grin blossoms on my face when remembering something. Night's Star had
captured me in the dark outside the men's big lodge to stick my butt. He'd told
me it was his first manly performance. In return, I captured his sperm in me
that had surprised the boy by my willingness to let him. He'd told me that a
friend of his was often sucking on his dick but wouldn't swallow his cum. I
eagerly drank from his loins. Twice this boy has given me a wet butt. Those
pleasurable acts bound our bodies together but my heart was kept from him. I
loved Big Horn. Yet he was a man; someone older than me. My spirit desires
youths and Night's Star could have been mine...

     I'm taken from my thoughts when Night's Star takes a sharp left turn. His
face turns back at me, seeing if I am keeping up with his pace. I catch the
boy's eyes for a moment. They shyly fall away. I realize that he may have
caught the longing on my face for him.

     Night's Star leads me to a clearing at the edge of camp. The air is thick
with smoke. I get a whiff of cooking meat and that makes my mouth water. We
approach the smoking racks. The ground is bloodied here. I see a young woman
stripping an animal of its flesh with her curved blade. From the white curly
hide beside her, I guess that it was a hooved baa-haa. Another woman is tending
the fires. She tosses something from a basket into the flames that makes it
smoke. Two older squaws are hanging strips of meat over the racks. A young girl
has a stick in hand to drive the dogs away.

     I approach one of the old women hanging some fresh meat. She turns to me.
"I'm Willow Bird. Ah. Last night, I arrived with Shakes-like-the-ground from
the plains with five sacks of buffalo meat. Is it done smoking yet?" The squaw
looks me over with her sharp appraising eyes.

     "Willow Bird, eh?" the squaw rasps in a cracked voice. "I remember seeing
yeh earlier this summer when took without asking."

     Recognition fills me. "Yes, grandmother. But it was my deer meat." The old
woman eyes me some more with her gaze falling from my hair to the breechclout
that I'm wearing. Why her interest in my appearance?

     "Yeh have changed, squaw man. The last time to wear hair long and no flap
covering the back of yeh."

     My face burns with embarrassment. I glance at Night's Star who tries
covering his mouth to hide a smile from me. The squaw laughs.

     "Some is done. A lot of meat to be smoked this day," the woman explains.
"I give yeh all of it tomorrow but a handful now if need."

     I nod my head. The old squaw passes the basketful of meat she was holding
to her companion and gestures for me to follow her. We pass the stick wielding
girl. She eyes me with suspicion. I'm taken into a fenced area that reminds me
of a small corral. No horses here. It's filled knee high with tied bundles of
jerky. The woman fetches me one bundle of smoked buffalo meat.

     "Thank you, grandmother." The squaw clucks at me, returning to her smoking
racks. I head back towards the lodges with Night's Star following behind me.
The boy races to my side, his eyes keen on the jerky in my hand. I tear off a
piece for him. The boy hungrily chews it down while I enjoy a piece for myself.
It is good meat! I'm not often eating buffalo since my tribe hunts deer, elk or
traps rabbit in the woods. This is a delicacy.

     Night's Star asks, "This is deer meat?"

     "No. I came across a dead buffalo bull on my way here. I think he'd been
trodden by the herd. Five sacks were filled with his meat that were put on
Colored Rain's horse. That displaced two heavy bundles of blankets and colored
cloth that I had to carry from my shoulders." I don't mention how my body is
still sore from yesterday.

     "Buffalo meat," the boy remarks. "It has a strange taste."

     I suppose that the hooved baa-haas are more to his liking. Night's Star
doesn't ask for more. I'm eagerly chewing down another piece while making my
way back to the shaman's lodge.

     "Willow Bird?"

     I glance at Night's Star and know that he's about to ask me a difficult
question. A group of women are passed before the boy speaks again.

     "How do you... Ah. Are you very sad from losing your lover?"

     I feel a tight squeezing around my heart that takes my breath away. We
pass by two lodges before I remember to breathe. Oh, Smiles A Lot - losing you!
That's left me much more than being sad as this boy asks. There's anger, too.
Hatred in me for those who betrayed him and I blame myself for not noticing he
hadn't return to the shaman's lodge because I was too busy fucking a girl.

     "I'm sorry," whispers Night's Star. "I shouldn't have asked about your
monedo."

     Surprise fills me. The boy is talking about Big Horn? A trembling gasp
escapes my lips. I fill my lungs with breath before answering his question.
"It's alright. I am sad that he's gone. For a while, I didn't think I'd love
again." This youth doesn't know about Smiles A Lot.

     "How did you get over it? That bad feeling in your stomach and wanting to
cry all the time?"

     Night's Star is really asking if he'll get over losing Sings-to-the-birds.
"The pain of loss will fade in time," I whisper almost to myself, not really
believing my own words.

     My heart is still in much pain from losing Smiles A Lot. I feel my nose
stinging when preventing my tears from falling. I clear my throat. "Love can
come to you again and that helps mend your broken heart."

     "But you knew that he was dead! I don't know what has happened to my brave
so I'm left with hope on some days, angry that he hasn't come back to me and on
cold dark nights, I think that he must be dead."

     I turn to the boy. "You mustn't think that! He will come back for you if
he can! I know that he loves you, Night's Star."

     "But what if he's dead?"

     I grip the boy's right shoulder. "You must keep hope alive in your heart.
Would you rather know that Sings-to-the-birds is dead or endure not knowing,
waiting for him to come back even if it's not until you're named a brave?"

     Night's Star realizes something. "Do you think that's it, Willow Bird?
That he's waiting until I'm named a man and free to go with him if I want?"

     I see hope burning in the boy's eyes. To say otherwise would hurt him. My
eyes fall to the ground while I'm struggling with my own doubts about Smiles A
Lot. I saw him die. Yet I know his spirit is still with me. I Saw him last
night and that was no trick being played on me from the Darkness-that-comes.

     Night's Star takes the lead in our walk. I've fallen silent, enduring my
pain from losing Smiles A Lot. I've recovered after Big Horn's death and that
allowed my heart to love my young shaman-in-training. How I miss his smiling
face for me, his gentle spirit and need to help others; me most of all. Oh, he
is gone! I've been left with a broken heart again.

     My pace has slowed behind Night's Star. The boy turns to give me a sharp
hand gesture to catch up. Anger fills me for wallowing in this pain that has
become so familiar in my life. I try getting my feet to move faster. Why is he
taking me to the edge of camp?

     I sense danger. Night's Star is often looking around and that's when I
notice we've left the lodges behind us. Where is the boy taking me? The bundle
of jerky in my hand reminds me that I should be returning to the shaman's lodge
but I sense that the youth wants to talk with me some more. Alone.

     We come to a rocky outcropping. Night's Star finds a smooth stone to sit
over and I join him. There's a cool wind blowing. The cliffs are only a stone's
throw away but the lodges are far, away from prying eyes.

     Night's Star slumps his shoulders. He stares at his feet, toes wiggling
that catches my attention. I sense that the boy wants to tell me something but
he can't get it out.

     I give the boy a warm assuring grin. He breathes in deeply then releases
breath from his lungs to calm himself. His eyes peer into mine.

     "I don't think Sings-to-the-birds will come back," the boy whispers. Tears
fill his eyes.

     I reach out to grip the youth's right shoulder. "Why are you giving up on
him so soon?" Night's Star plants his feet in the ground. He lifts his eyes to
me with much pain filling them. There's anger in him, too.

     "I've been hearing bad things. That my father sent someone to kill him."

     I shake the youth. "No. You're giving in to your fear! He was only beaten
when you were found together. That's driven him away for a while until he can
find a way to be with you again."

     A low whisper. "That's why I am thinking of running away."

     I shake my head. "There are trail guards who would stop you. And if you
could manage to elude them, the plains are a dangerous place to travel alone.
I should know." The boy notices my wounds. The cuts and bruises to my face,
shoulders, chest and arms that were given me when I'd escaped from evil.

     "Why did you come here?"

     I swallow nervously. "My lover... was murdered by the Split Tribe." I see
the confusion in Night's Star. A big breath is taken before I spill out my sad
story to this youth. He's told about my path in life that is leading me towards
becoming shaman of my tribe, how Smiles A Lot was teaching me to control my
gifts from our Father and that love grew between us. My voice turns bitter. I
tell him how we were betrayed by two men of my tribe. That my lover was
terribly murdered! I ran away only to be taunted by the Darkness-that-comes who
tried turning me away from the Light. My powers were lost. I was found on the
plains by Shakes-like-the-ground and his men who brought me here.

     Night's Star bows his head in grief. He asks, "Are you going to train
under Deep-roots-that-whisper?"

     I shake my head. "He's helping me to recover from my wounds." I don't
mention that they aren't all of flesh.

     "Then you're going to be returning to your tribe. When you're better."

     "Yes. We're expecting an attack from the Spear-bearing warriors." The
boy's eyes widen so I tell him about it. He's confused that my lover had been a
shaman-in-training from that enemy tribe so I'm forced to explain that as well.
Tears fill my eyes. It's difficult reliving his death again.

     "You don't have a simple life, Willow Bird."

     Tears are running down my face. I shake my head and can't speak anymore.

     "I know how you feel, Willow Bird. My life has been miserable too."

     There's anger in the boy's face. He kicks a pebble with his foot and we
watch it roll towards the cliffs.

     "I think that everyone knows that I'm Mahyee-na," whispers Night's Star.
"My friends won't play with me and it's difficult facing my father. I hate him."

     I'm startled by the boy's strong words. There's nothing that I can say to
comfort Night's Star so I only nod my head to show him my understanding.

     Silence falls between us. I see that Night's Star is struggling with
something by the way his face contorts. There's fear, anger and then sadness
that he's feeling. I wish that I could Hear his thoughts and share in his pain.
My gift of Mind Speaking has been taken from me though.

     The boy gets to his feet. He looks around for something and gestures for
me to follow him. Not back to the lodges. I grow afraid when the youth heads
towards the mountain's edge. I'm quick to block that path of escape if that's
what he has in mind.

     To my relief, Night's Star runs towards a huge boulder that resembles a
hunched guard on two stony feet. A naked figure; the guard's huge cock is
pointed towards camp. The boy circles around and ducks into a small space
between the guard's mossy butt cheeks.

     There's room for two - a small cavern that has been cut into the boulder
by wind and rain. A smile comes to Night's Star's face when I join him inside.
I've dropped my bundle of jerky at the entrance.

     "This is where we came to be together," the boy explains.

     I see mischief in Night's Star's eyes mixed with another emotion. Why has
he taken me here?

     "Are you ever ashamed of what you are?" the boy asks. The small cavern
echo his words in an accusing tone.

     "No. That is where my spirit has led me. Accepting that I'm Mahyee-na has
allowed my heart to find love so why should that make me feel ashamed?"

     "Because of what people think of us. But I don't care anymore."

     I stare into the boy's eyes. He shows his defiance that has been his
source of strength during this trying time.

     "Sings-to-the-birds often took me here. He said that I'm Mahyee-na and we
performed all the rites together. You can initiate me next summer when I am
named a brave."

     I slowly nod my head. Night's Star is proving that he is ready. The boy's
eyes look above me, at the walls of our enclosure with longing coming into his
face. He must have many happy memories of being here with that brave. Does he
hold dear what we shared earlier this summer?

     I look the boy over. He has turned fourteen since last we met. I see that
he's grown some. Longer legs so he nearly stands at my height. The youth has a
cute face, marred by a recent cut to his nose. His hair is worn short. What
attracts me is how expressive this boy is when we talk. All the emotions he's
feeling is there on his face. His brown eyes sparkle with intelligence. And
there's no shyness in this one when it comes to speaking his heart. No wonder
Sings-to-the-birds loves him.

     "I hope that he'll come for me," whispers Night's Star. "I'll try to wait
for him. Even if it's not until I am named a man."

     The boy's words touch me. I see the pain of loneliness showing in his
eyes. In the next moment, his expression changes back to longing - for me. I
feel my loins tightening. Is it my imagination or does he want to do something
with me?

     "You were the first to set me on the right path, Willow Bird."

     I swallow past the hard lump in my throat. Night's Star clasps my waist,
his eyes falling down my chest to stare at the bulge in my front flap. I notice
that the boy is also excited. A part of me wants to stop this. He loves another
so why is tempting me to be with him?

     "Would you like to do something with me?"

     I'm startled that Night's Star has read my thoughts! When I try Sending
him images of Sings-to-the-birds being in his arms, the boy doesn't react. No
sense of guilt from him. I've truly lost this gift from our Father. My head
hangs with despair.

     "We have both lost those whom we've loved," whispers Night's Star. "You
told me that happiness can be found again."

     My eyes catch the boy's. Something unspoken passes between us that both
thrills and haunts me. I see his desire for me. Probably only for sex. I'm
feeling my attraction to this youth but guilt squeezes my heart. I reach for
his slim shoulders. My mouth is dry when I try speaking words to explain it.
"We shouldn't..."

     In the next moment, I'm given a fierce hug. The boy's chest presses warmly
against me and his hands drop to hold my hips. I feel his hard dick against me.
My cock throbs, begging me to accept this boy's offering. I drop my hands to
Night's Star's back, not daring to lower them any further.

     "Hold me closer," the youth begs.

     I pull Night's Star to my chest and close my eyes. He gasps for breath.
My butt cheeks are clutched in the boy's hungry hands that leaves no doubt what
he wants to do with me. But should we?

     I'm feeling stunned. It doesn't seem right that Night's Star wants to have
sex with me. He loves another! My cock is stiff. Yet I don't feel an urge to
spill from my loins since I've already been with Sah-omb today.

     Night's Star lets me go. I hear him pulling away his front flap and it
falls over my feet. My eyes open. His hard dick is pointing at me like a spear.
It oozes with excitement. His hands rush to my waist, urging me to step deeper
into the cavern until I'm facing a stone wall. My rear flap is pulled away.

     The boy's hands are all over my butt. He pulls my cheeks apart and I feel
his seeking stab. I clutch the rough wall, my back bending to stick my butt out
to the needing boy. His slippery knob is felt against my hole. Stabs in! I
endure the pain when feeling the youth's thick dick pushing through my hole.

     Our bodies come to together. Night's Star releases a trembling breath,
grabs my hips and stabs me swift and hard. I groan out but keep my butt stuck
out. He fucks me like a full-grown warrior, not the inexperienced boy of
thirteen when we had met earlier this summer.

     Another inexperienced youth comes to mind. Mist-in-his-eyes had stuck in
me this afternoon at Spirit Lake. At first, he didn't know how to fuck me even
though he'd spied on Shakes-like-the-ground doing Coyote Thief last summer. I
coaxed the boy's stabs by humping my butt against him. He performed it well
though I had to scold Sah-omb off the youth's back when laying over him butt to
butt. Mist-in-his-eyes didn't like being used as a ground mat. Once freed of
Sah-omb's weight over him, the boy finished his first manly act in my ass.

     I didn't feel Mist-in-his-eyes' squirts but he is of age to do so. A lusty
boy of twelve or so. If he did cum in me, my hole should be slippery enough to
be taking Night's Star's stabs. They're paining me because this boy has a
really thick dick.

     Night's Star grunts with each of his deeper thrusts. He has a good-sized
dick but it's not of reach to touch upon my squaw spot. Not like Shakes-like-
the-ground's cock. I grip the stone wall and grit my teeth. The boy shows how
much he's in need to come out. And, I think, to prove himself Mahyee-na to me.

     Grunts echo through the small cavern. Night's Star is struggling behind me
with his dick making a squishy sound when he plows my ass. It's not hurting me
anymore. I tighten my ringed muscles so the boy will have a good ride. Big Horn
had taught me that.

     My head fills with troubling thoughts. Why is Night's Star making love to
me? He doesn't know that his brave won't be coming back for him or that he's
dead. Haven't they pledge themselves to each other that would prevent him from
being with me?

     Crying Loon comes to mind. He's the same age as this boy, starving for
attention and lust filled. We're often together in the woods to satisfy our
needs but it's an immature kind of love. Mostly physical. I've Seen that boy's
heart and know he loves me but the depth of it can't compare to what Big Horn
had given me... or Smiles A Lot.

     I release a trembling sigh. How can I deny myself to any boy in need? I'm
Mahyee-na so it's my duty to give of myself for butt fucking. Only my cock is
pledged to my lover. I have none at the moment though.

     My pang of sadness is cast away so that I can be with Night's Star. This
is our moment together. He needs me now. Some measure of love had come to us
before he met Sings-to-the-birds. I'll comfort this youth is his absence.

     Night's Star is gasping for breath. His smaller body slams into mine, a
stiffening dick that proves he's soon to cum. I hope that Sings-to-the-birds
has taught the boy that he doesn't have to pull out at the end. I like having a
wet butt.

     A smile crosses my lips when remembering all the men and boys who have
fucked me. My butt enjoys getting stabbed! That doesn't make me a girl but I
suspect that the feeling of being taken is similar. Their seed put in me won't
make a child.

     There's much joy in the trying. That's what we of the Mahyee-na achieve by
being taken by other males. Men who are without wives can vent their lust. Boys
learn how the act of mating is performed by using my butt.

     There's much fury in this youth. Is he venting anger with his dick? His
fingers dig into my hips, sticking my butt really deep before pulling out. The
boy's breaths are hisses through his mouth. We are joined for mating but it's
only a physical act without strong feelings of love for each other. It's enough
that my body serves to relieve his sexual tension.

     I'm startled by the youth's high-pitched cry. He grinds his hairy groin
against my cheeks, his dick buried deep in my ass when releasing his seed. I
can feel his strong squirts. Breaths rush through the boy's mouth, heating my
back while he recovers from his act. I look down at my front flap being pushed
by my cock. It throbs for attention.

     I straightening up in the small cavern and try keeping my head from
hitting the ceiling. My hands reach back to hold Night's Star's cheeks that
slowly hump from his ending stabs. His hands are locked over my belly. Keeping
our bodies together for a while longer. I'm feeling mixed emotions about what
we've done.

     When Night's Star pulls from my butt, I turn to him. Male relief is seen
in his eyes. No longing for me or signs of love on his face. I was expecting
that. The boy lowers his eyes to the bulge in my breechclout.

     "Thanks, Willow Bird. Ah. Do you want to take your turn?"

     "To take your butt?" I gasp. The boy nods his head but I sense reluctance
in him.

     "Sings-to-the-birds was often taking his turn after I've fucked him."

     Night's Star proves that he's Mahyee-na. Men like Shakes-like-the-ground
are quick to use my asshole but they won't give me a turn to fuck them. I eye
Night's Star's dick. Cum leaks from his piss hole. His knob is slowly pulling
back into its foreskin that bears my butt stain over it.

     I notice that my hand has slipped within my breechclout to pull over my
aching cock. The boy gives me a sly grin. He turns sideways, lifting his folded
rear flap to show off his butt. My hand is drawn to it. I fondle his sweaty
cheeks with lust filling me. I'm very tempted.

     "I can take your size," assures the boy. "Sings-to-the-birds was often
doing me and I've learned some butt tricks from him."

     A laugh comes out of me. "My monedo has also taught me well."

     I pull the boy's rear flap from his belt. With a sly grin, he slips past
me to stand before the stone wall. I reach out for his pale half moons. Ah!
Soft and warm. I drop to my haunches behind him. My lips descend over his nice
curves, kissing over the youth's backside with my mouth making its way into the
crack of his butt. The boy's cheeks tighten. I massage them in my hands and
tongue deeper for his hole. My nose detects a strange smell.

     Night's Star won't relax. Perhaps he's not used to having a man eating out
his butt or that it's tickling him. I want to put spit in him to help ease our
joining. My lips smack with satisfaction. I tongue some more and find to my
surprise that this boy already has a wet butt. He's been spermed by someone!

     I rush to my feet. My front flap is pulled away to free my cock. With my
left hand, I direct it between the boy's cheeks and push through his hole.
Slimy tightness is felt around my knob. I gently stab in until my groin hair
presses against the youth's rear end. Our bodies have connected.

     I reach for Night's Star's slim hips. My thrusts are slow and careful so
that he won't be hurt. His butt feels very nice. I hear no painful grunts from
the boy so I stab him harder. It's a lusty sensation to do a boy, especially
when I know that someone has recently fucked him.

     My hands rise along the boy's back. I notice that he's been scratched
there. Recent wounds that have drawn blood. I slip my hands around until I'm
clutching his chest. This gets Night's Star to stand in my arms. My face
presses into the youth's soft neck. I kiss him there. My nose breathes in the
sweaty lime-smell of his skin. An exciting scent of boy.

     I'm able to be a long while making love to this youth. My loins had been
spilt with Sah-omb this afternoon so I'm not in any great need. Night's Star
isn't in any pain. He's a willing dance partner in my arms, backing himself
into my forwards stabs. I feel him tightening his hole when my cock withdraws.
What he's told me is proving true. Sings-to-the-birds has taught him well.

     My in and out stabs are enjoying this boy's tight ass. I look down at it.
Soft pale half-moons being pounded by my cock. It's a lusty drum beat. My
aching butt reminds me that this youth has filled me so I'm struggling to give
him my wet love in return.

     I nibble on the boy's right ear. My breaths are becoming harsh when the
thrills from my cock forewarns my approaching climax. I'm trying not to finish
it so soon. He's such a willing youth to a man's needs. I want to enjoy him.

     "You have a nice butt!" I breathe into Night's Star's ear. An answering
giggle. My cock stabs the boy harder yet he doesn't reveal pain. His asshole is
very slippery. I've tasted the cum in him and that gets me asking him about it.

     "I'm not the first to have you this day?" Night's Star grows tense in my
arms. His butt hole grips my cock and that sends me over the edge. My balls
tingle in warning. I savagely stab the boy when my cum fills him again and
again. Ah, sharp thrills! Even when my squirts end, I continue to plow this
youth's ass as if to force his confession.

     When my cock feels too tickly, I end my manly motion in the boy. I take in
deep breaths and enjoy my male satisfaction. He was a good fuck! With my hands
over his chest, I lift Night's Star from the dirt in a show of strength. He's
set down over my feet. My oozing cock in the boy's ass has subdued him.

     I give Night's Star a really tight hug. He gasps for air. My arms loosen
and the boy steps down from my feet when he draws himself away. I push on his
back to get my cock out of the boy. A splash of cum falls between us to the
dirt. I reach into his butt and find more.

     "You've been a busy bee this morning." The boy turns to me with shy eyes.
He sees my wet hand that bears the proof of my words and that has his face
burning with embarrassment.

     "I ah..."

     I give Night's Star a knowing grin. He avoids my eyes and shuts his mouth.
Why is he reluctant to tell me who had taken his butt before me?

     To my surprise, the boy turns around. He slaps over his cheeks before
reaching his hands back to me. Does the youth want me to fuck him again?

     "Complete the Mahyee-na rite," asks Night's Star.

     Understanding fills me. I turn around and back onto the boy. Our fucked
butts touch. We hold hands.

     "Sings-to-the-birds told me that's what Mahyee-na men do after they..."

     I rub our butts together in reply. "Tell me, Night's Star. Have you taken
another lover?"

     "No!" the boy gasps. "I want Sings-to-the-birds."

     When I try turning around, the boy's hands tighten around mine to keep us
together. I hear the youth clearing his throat. He's about to tell me something.

     "Ah. It's not like that," the youth explains. He falls silent again.

     I rub my hair against the boy's. We've just made love and stand together
naked with our hearts bared. I want to learn who he's been with. "There's no
shame to give yourself to another, Night's Star. That's what we of the
Mahyee-na do for needing men. Shakes-like-the-ground had me last night but
there's little love between us. Who have you given yourself to?"

     "It wasn't a man."

     I feel the youth's cheeks tighten against me. He remains silent and that
makes me wonder why he's afraid to tell me about the boy who did him. "I've had
a boy from your tribe sticking in me this afternoon..." I'm hoping that my
admission will put Night's Star at ease.

     "Who was it?"

     "You first." I'd rather not reveal that it was Mist-in-his-eyes and risk
having that boy shamed if Night's Star were to tattle on him.

     "It wasn't a boy, either," whispers Night's Star with shame.

     I'm taken back by what I've heard. I know that his butt is filled with cum
so why is he lying to me?

     "I'm afraid to tell you, Willow Bird. You'd think badly of me..."

     "You have proven yourself to be Mahyee-na, Night's Star. Tell me." I rub
my butt against the boy and feel his grip tightening around my hands.

     "I've been letting a dog stick in me."

     My breath trembles. I release it slowly so Night's Star won't hear. We
keep our backwards embrace. That prevents the boy from feeling shamed if he
were to face me when he speaks.

     "After my father drove Sings-to-the-birds away, I wanted to get back at
him. He says that I was taken advantage of and not truly Mahyee-na but I am!
My butt should be taken. If not by a man, then a dog. I've even dared to do
this near camp in the hope that someone would catch me."

     I'm at a loss for words. Not because of the boy's bestial acts; I've had
fantasies of having sex with animals. Big Horn has told me of an empowering
rite he and Coyote Thief had performed with Pai-alucia. That stallion has a big
dong that my hands have coaxed sperm from.

     "Why did you want someone to catch you?" I ask.

     "Then my father would banish me from his lodge. Let me run away."

     "So you could find Sings-to-the-birds?"

     "No. Ah, maybe. Oh, I don't know Willow Bird!"

     When the boy's hands loosen, I turn around. He won't face me so my arms go
around the youth and hold him close. "It's alright," I whisper. A thought
strikes me. "You're mad at Sings-to-the-birds, too."

     "Not because of what we did together!" shouts Night's Star.

     "I know that. Do you still want me to try finding him?"

     "Yes. But don't tell him about what I've done!"

      A smile comes to my lips. "Not even what we've done together. I promise."
I peer down at the boy's wet butt that has been given to a dog before my use of
it. I'm curious how he endured that. I've seen a bitch in heat getting stuck
and the male dog's release takes a long while, his knot tying their bodies
together until he's been emptied of sperm.

    "Ah. Tell me, Night's Star. How do you coax a dog into your butt?" The
boy's cheeks become tense, making me realize that I shouldn't haven't reminded
him of his shameful act. "I've done things with a stallion." By admitting that,
I want this youth to know that I share his interest in animal sex.

    "What things, Willow Bird? You can't fit a horse's huge dong in your butt."

     A chuckle comes out of me. "I'm sure the stallion would give me a good
ride! but no, I've not had a horse fuck me. I kissed over Pai-alucia's knob.
That's grown him to length with both my hands around his dong to get him to
shoot. A stallion can cover your whole body with his seed! That makes for a
sticky belly rubbing with a man afterwards, that rite endowing us with a
horse's male strength."

     "Your monedo did that with you?" asks Night's Star.

     "Yes. His previous lover, a warrior from the Spear-bearing Tribe showed
him that rite. Pai-alucia was his horse before coming to my monedo." I don't
mention that after Big Horn's death, Pai-alucia came to me.

     "You've not been with a dog?"

     "No. A girl from my tribe told me that she has. She brought the smell from
a bitch in heat to her cunt and that drew a male dog to stick in her. She said
that it hurt a lot."

     "It does," admits Night's Star. "I used that same trick to make my hole
smell attractive to a male dog. His frantic stabs are exciting. My back gets
scratched by his paws when he's over me and when he releases, his cock swells
up to tie us together. That can hurt but it's thrilling to feel him pumping in
my butt for a long while."

     My cock has stiffened from our exciting talk. I've been rubbing it
between the boy's cheeks, my knob seeking... A slimy tightness swallows me up.
Night's Star gasps with surprise.

     I tighten my arms around the youth. I'm not feeling up to fucking him
again but want our bodies to come together as closely as two males can be. The
boy reaches back to hold my butt. I press my nose in his hair while strong
feelings squeeze my heart. This boy could be mine.

     "I know how lonely you've been feeling, Night's Star. Don't be giving
yourself to a dog because you're better than that. There are other men who can
love you. Shakes-like-the-ground is a good man who can comfort you."

     "I don't want to love anyone else!"

     "I know. You must keep hope alive in your heart. He'll come back for you."
I feel Night's Star trembling in my arms. His chest heaves with sobs that he
prevents from coming out of him.

     "I'm missing him so much!" Tears are running down his face.

     "Let it out, Night's Star. I feel your pain." For a long while, the boy
sobs in my arms and that makes my heart ache. My pain over losing Smiles A Lot
is coming out. We share our misery together and that helps heal our injured
spirits.

     My cock slips out of the boy. He turns in my arms with eyes that won't
look at me but he gives me a hug. I'm a poor substitution for his lover. It was
wrong of me to try winning his love.

     "If he doesn't come," the boy stammers, "will you take me away from here?"

     Sadness squeezes my heart. I know how much he's suffering but I'm afraid.
These are his People. It would be difficult to sneak him away. Night's Star
lifts his eyes to me and forces me to respond. I slowly nod my head. When the
boy's eyes burn with hope, I kiss his forehead to seal my promise unto him.

     "Until then, you must not try running away." Night's Star looks deep in my
eyes and I see understanding come to him. We cling to each other in the small
cave until strength returns to us to face what will come.


     I make my way through camp for the shaman's lodge. I've parted ways with
Night's Star at the cliffs so that no one would see each together. It must be
hard for the boy to endure the People's harsh stares and know what they must be
thinking about him. The path of the Mahyee-na is not an easy one.

     The buffalo jerky is held in my right hand. I reach back for my aching
butt, a smile coming to me in sweet remembrance. Two boys have enjoyed it this
afternoon. Sadly, no love between us though. I'm not ready to open my heart.
Smiles A Lot may be dead but I Feel his Presence. Close, but out of reach.

     The shaman's lodge comes into sight. I stop before it and call out my name
at the door. The old man bids me to enter so I duck past the hanging door hide.

     Deep-roots-that-whisper is standing within the door. Sah-omb is helping
him tie up the front of his elk skin robe so I suspect that he's planning to go
somewhere. It gives the shaman a commanding presence. He peers down at what I'm
holding in my right hand.

     "That's all?" the shaman asks.

     I follow the man's eyes to my bundle of smoked buffalo meat. "No. The rest
is still being smoked. I'm to fetch it tomorrow."

     The shaman nods with understanding. "Put it over there, Willow Bird and
come with me to the chief's lodge. He is expecting us."

     I do as the old man has asked. Sah-omb starts to follow us out of the
lodge but with a softly spoken word from Deep-roots-that-whisper, the boy stops
within the doorway. I see disappointment on the youth's face.

     The shaman rushes me through camp. I try getting my thoughts in order
since I'm expecting the Moss-bowl Chief to ask me what's been happening with my
tribe. If they are in danger; why I have come. He should be concerned because
his daughter is married to a Kalinlepi warrior and they have three children.
They haven't come to winter on their mountain yet.

     I am nervous about the upcoming meeting but my thoughts keep turning to
Night's Star and my promise to him. The shaman notices my slow pace. He turns
to me with an understanding gaze.

     "Do not worry about meeting with my chief," the shaman asks. "He only
wants to know about your People, if they are in danger." In a low whisper,
"You don't have to tell him about your recent trials."

     "I'm not worried about that." The old man stares at me, begging to speak
my mind. "Ah. Do you know if anyone is visiting from the Snow Drinkers?"

     "Why do you ask?" The shaman's eyes grow sharp.

     "I want to know about Sings-to-the-birds." The old man turns away from me
in a huff. He walks even faster. I think he knows! so my hand reaches out to
grasp his arm. "Please, shaman. What do you know about him?"

     "He is dead."

     I stop in my tracks. My heart squeezes with fear, not for myself but how
Night's Star will react when he is told. The shaman walks back to me. I see his
anger and with a sharp gesture, he commands me to get my feet moving.

     My head is feeling stunned. I do as the man asks by following him through
the busy camp. Hands are raised to us in greeting but I don't return them. I'm
burning to know what's happened to Sings-to-the-birds.

     "Please tell me how you know this, shaman!" He continues walking and when
I think he won't answer me, the old man slows his pace until he's walking close
at my side, his mouth coming to my ear.

     "A man who guards our mountain pass told me so."

     I glare at Deep-roots-that-whisper. "What did he say?" The old man shakes
his head. I'm tugging on his arm again to get him to answer me.

     "You know enough, Willow Bird. He isn't your concern."

     Anger fills me. I pull on the shaman's left arm to force him to stop. He
turns to give me a warning glance but I stare defiantly at him. My feet remain
rooted to the ground. "My monedo initiated that man into our society so that
makes it my concern. I am now the leader of the Mahyee-na!"

     Deep-roots-that-whisper looks around to see if anyone is near. "He was
caught being with Night's Star."

     "I already know about that. The boy told me that he chased after his lover
down the mountain, spent a day with him but a war party led by his father
brought him back up. Night's Star said they only beat him."

     The shaman nods his head. "That's what the boy saw. On their way up the
mountain, a trail guard was sent after that man."

     "To kill him?!" The shaman turns away and resumes walking. I'm forced to
run to his side. "Who did this thing?"

     The shaman makes a sweeping hand gesture.

     "You must tell me! I promised Night's Star that he'd be told."

     "No, Willow Bird. The boy's father does not want him to know."

     "I've made a promise to Night's Star to tell him. And I will! He'll ask
questions, find out who that trail guard is and ask why his lover was killed!"

    Deep-roots-that-whisper stops walking. With his arms raised in frustration,
he blurts out the guard's name.

     I mouth the man's name to myself with growing horror. No. It cannot be!
I'm filled with much anguish, fear rises in me and I am torn between honoring
my promise to Night's Star or keeping silent. Both are bad choices so I'm left
with only one thing to do.

     "No! Don't, Willow Bird. You must not..."

     I ignore the shaman's plea when running away from him. Anger sings in my
heart. All the hatred that's been held in me explodes with my intent to avenge
Sings-to-the-bird's murder!

     My feet carry me past the lodges. I run towards the edge of camp since
that is where his lodge can be found. The old man is too slow to stop me. I
will confront Shakes-like-the-ground and ask him how he could have done this
terrible thing!

     Tears are in my eyes. I find the warrior's lodge and without announcing my
name at his door, rush through with only anger as my weapon! Disappointment
fills me. He's not here. I spin over my feet a few times to be sure that the
lodge is empty before running back out.

     I'm knocked down. I've run into someone outside the door who kneels at my
side with a helping hand. It's not the shaman as I'd feared. A strong grip over
my arm gets me back on my feet.

     "What's wrong, Willow Bird?" the warrior asks.

     I gasp when seeing that it's Shakes-like-the-ground. "Why did you kill
Sings-to-the-birds?!" I shout.

     The warrior looks around to see if anyone has heard. "Come into my lodge,
Willow Bird. I will explain."

     Deep-roots-that-whisper rushes to us. His arms are raised in warning but
he's waved off. Shakes-like-the-ground gestures for me to go inside.

     "Shaman. Please stand outside and guard my door while I talk with him."

     I glare at the warrior. When he gestures again for me to enter his lodge,
I reluctantly do so. Shakes-like-the-ground comes in with the door flap pulled
down behind him. The shaman remains outside.

     "Sit, Willow Bird."

     I glare at the man with much hatred in my heart. My arms are stretched out
in readiness to do battle with this warrior. His arms remain at his side.

     "Willow Bird. Please believe me when I tell you that Sings-to-the-birds is
not dead."

     My anger spills out of me like a broken water skin. I stagger over my feet
and would have fallen if the man didn't catch me. I'm brought to the ground in
his arms. Tears fill my eyes and I sob with relief. "He isn't... dead?" I ask.

     "No. He is not, Willow Bird. I was told to go after Sings-to-the-birds and
kill him for what he'd done with Night's Star but I couldn't!"

     I try wiping the tears from my face but they keep falling. "Why did the
shaman say that he's dead?"

     "Because I told him."

     "I don't understand..."

     "That boy's father was in his right to have Sings-to-the-birds killed. It
is high taboo for a man to... rape a youth. Night's Star was not wise to admit
his love for that brave, to say they had been together and done that thing
before his father and the other men. He couldn't be killed in front of the boy
so they only beat him. On their way up the mountain, I was guarding the trail
and told to go after Sings-to-the-birds. That I was to kill him."

     "But you didn't?"

     Shakes-like-the-ground shakes his head. "I found the brave badly beaten
and tended to his wounds. We talked. I warned him that he could not ever return
to the Moss-bowl or even to his own People, the Snow Drinkers because if word
came back to our tribe that he was alive, a war party would be sent after him.
I would also be punished for lying."

     Understanding comes to me. I look at the man with fear in my heart. "I've
put you in jeopardy, Shakes-like-the-ground! The shaman is outside and he will
suspect..."

     "Yes, Willow Bird. He expects you to avenge that man's death and when you
don't, he will know the truth."

     "I am sorry!"

     "Don't be. I knew that this day might come and I'm ready to face the
consequences of my... inaction."

     I press my face into the man's chest. "Why didn't you kill him?"

     Shakes-like-the-ground breathes in deeply. "I am also guilty of what he'd
done."

     I peer up at the warrior. "You? I thought that you only desired men, to
stick in them as you've done with Big Horn and myself. Not truly Mahyee-na."

     Shakes-like-the-ground nods. "It is true that I won't let a man take my
body as you allow it but I share your spirit, Willow Bird. I've loved a boy and
kept it secret because of the dire consequences to myself. It had to be more
than coincidence that I was on trail guard that day and asked to kill him. Our
merciful Father must have had a hand in it. Who better to stand in judgment of
that man than I? I could not kill him. Not because I shared his crime but that
I don't believe it is a bad thing to love a boy."

     "I don't think it is wrong either."

     Shakes-like-the-ground laughs. "Of course you don't but try telling that
to the boy's father."

     I'm curious about something. "Who is that boy you love? Do I know him?"

     "No." The warrior's eyes narrow in pain.

     Anguish fills my heart for this man. Something bad must have happened to
his boy. I keep hold of the warrior's trembling body until he's recovered.

     "I understand how you're feeling to lose someone that you love," whispers
Shakes-like-the-ground.

     There are tears in the man's eyes. His young lover must be dead. I share
in his pain and bury my face in the man's chest.

     I feel the movement of air in the lodge. Shakes-like-the-ground also turns
and we see the shaman standing over us. I let the warrior slip from my arms.

     "Both of you will come with me to the chief's lodge. Now."

     Fear squeezes my heart. Shakes-like-the-ground wipes his tears away and
gets to his feet. There's no trace of emotion on the warrior's face. I stand
beside him, peering at the shaman to glean what he's thinking. Does he suspect?
Deep-roots-that-whisper gestures for us to follow him outside.

     We walk through camp in silence. With a grip over Shakes-like-the-ground's
shoulder, I keep his feet moving. His steps are slow at my side. An old woman
passes by and averts her eyes from the warrior but I think she'd seen his
troubled face. The shaman walks on ahead.

     Deep-roots-that-whisper doesn't turn to look back at us. Is he very mad?
The shaman is soon lost from sight but we know where he's headed. My thoughts
are in turmoil. I don't know what will unfold in the chief's lodge or how to
plan what I should say.

     Father Sun breaks through the morning fog. I feel Him over my arms and
chest and that lifts my spirits. Shakes-like-the-ground keeps his eyes forward,
away from mine but I don't need to look at him to know of the dread he's
feeling about our meeting.

     The warrior stops. His eyes are on a big lodge ahead of us and I remember
standing there with Sings-to-the-birds earlier this summer. Big Horn had made
us wait outside while he was in council with the chief.

     Shakes-like-the-ground gets his feet moving again. I stay at the man's
side to lend my support but when the shaman's head pop out from the door, we
falter. His aged hand lifts to us in a gesture to come inside.

     I catch the warrior's eyes. They reveal his fear but in the next moment,
they become guarded to hide what's in his heart. I follow him into the lodge.
Three men are sitting around the fire: Chief Climbs-over-the-mountain, his
youngest son, Frozen Finger and the shaman. They turn their heads to us.

     Shakes-like-the-ground drops to the floor like a heavy sack of acorns. I
sit besides him, trying my best to keep my face plain of emotion. The chief
passes his pipe to the warrior. He smokes from it as expected of a guest before
handing it to me. I take a few puffs. Frozen Finger is last to partake of it.
He returns the pipe to his father.

     "May our Great Father grant us wisdom in this council," prays Chief
Climbs-over-the-mountains. "We pledge ourselves to walk in Your Light."

     Deep-roots-that-whisper makes a curious hand gesture. The chief nods. I
feel eyes on me and prepare to answer their questions.

     "How are you, Willow Bird?"

     I'm struck by the chief's show of compassion. No anger in him? After
glancing at Deep-roots-that-whisper, I fill my lungs with breath and speak.
"I'm fine. It is good to visit with your People."

     "Hmm. You are much changed since last we spoke."

     My head nods sharply in reply. I can't meet the chief's eyes so I fix my
gaze on his finely painted shirt. Seashells adorn the front of it. The old man
lifts his left hand to scratch his chest.

     "Willow Bird. You bear the signs of having been in battle," asks Frozen
Finger with concern.

     I catch the brave's hint but I'm not ready to talk about the danger my
tribe faces. "I was captured by Shew-owa warriors after seeking my animal
helper in the Wanderer's Cliffs."

     "How did you escape them?" Frozen Finger asks.

     I give the brave a wicked grin. "They won't be hunting anything again."
The chief gives me an approving grunt. His eyes go to my hair; there are no
eagle feathers there to honor my accomplishment. "Ah. My brother helped me."

     "Second Bird?" the chief asks.

     I'm burning to ask him how he knows about my brother! but I simply nod my
head. "He's returned to the Split Tribe and my People have struck their tipis
across the river from them."

     "Is your chief in peace negotiations with them?"

     Again, I simply nod at his question.

     "Deep-roots-that-whisper has told me that the Spear-bearing People are
soon to make war on you."

     "That is so. I hope that our two tribes will be able to stop them."

     "Have you come to ask for our help?" asks Chief Climbs-over-the-mountain.

     I glance at the shaman and see him nod. "If your People are willing. I
fear that the Shew-owa will join the Spear-bearing warriors. Too many for us
to defend against."

     The chief lowers his head in thought. Shakes-like-the-ground speaks.

     "I will go with Willow Bird to protect his People."

     "Yes. That is good," the chief says. "Take as many men you can persuade to
go with you."

     My heart fills with hope! I hear Shakes-like-the-ground speaking the names
of warriors and braves who he thinks would join him. More than two handfuls in
fingers of men. "I thank you for your help!"

     Chief Climbs-over-the-mountain lifts his right hand. "Your People are our
friends, Willow Bird. We also have ties with the Split Tribe and it makes my
heart glad to know that you are finally making peace with them."

     I can't return the chief's gaze. He doesn't realize how difficult that
task is to rejoin our split tribes as one People again. It may never happen.

     Shakes-like-the-ground gets to his feet. "With your permission, I'll rally
the men and make preparations for our journey." The chief gives it. I'm sure
that the warrior is relieved to be leaving our council so he won't have to
answer any accusations Deep-roots-that-whisper may voice here.

     The door flap drops behind us. I'm left alone to answer what may come.

     "Tell me, Willow Bird. Are your People facing imminent attack and is the
reason why they could only spare you to ask for our help?"

     I turn to Deep-roots-that-whisper for his guidance.

     "Ah. Willow Bird has also come to see me. It's a shaman concern."

     Relief fills me. The old chief stares at Deep-roots-that-whisper and is
disappointed when nothing more is forthcoming about the matter. When I think he
may press the shaman to explain further, Frozen Finger speaks.

     "My sister is in danger, father. I would also like to go."

     Chief Climbs-over-the-mountain's face reveals deep lines of worry but he
nods at his son's request. I realize something. All the Moss-bowl men who
return with me to the Kalinlepi may die when war comes. My hand clutches the
small bundle hanging down my chest. Hope fills me.

     "I am glad to have the support of your tribe. When our enemies attack,
they will face more than men in battle and we will defeat them!" A smile comes
to my lips.

     "What do you mean?" the chief asks.

     I open my bundle to show them what's inside: an acorn. I'm given puzzled
looks. They only see a small insignificant seed but I know of its power. "This
was given to me by an ancient oak outside my tribe. When I take her little son
within me, a forest of warriors will protect my People!" My heart soars to
tell them this but their faces are showing doubt.

     "Willow Bird was given the red breechclout to wear."

     Chief Climbs-over-the-mountain glares at the shaman. "This Kalinlepi boy!
You have chosen him?"

     In a hushed whisper, "The circle of shamans have. He is to be the One."

     The tiny hairs lift on the back of my neck. I see understanding pass
between these two men while Frozen Finger is puzzled by what he's heard. My
thoughts fly back to my previous visit with the Moss-bowl. I'd been given a
medicine bundle from Deep-roots-that-whisper to carry back to my shaman in
secret. Not even Big Horn knew of it. I was shown some of its contents: sacred
red dust from the Howling Hills. My shaman had said that it was a potent dye.

     When Tree Snake took me to the Wanderer's Cliffs, I was given a red
breechclout to wear during my fasting rite to find my animal helper. Is this
what Deep-roots-that-whisper was talking about to his chief? After four days of
standing under the hot sun, the cold nights and enduring thirst, my animal
helper came to me. He is the Great Bear. I Saw Big Horn in the Above with his
first lover, Coyote Thief. My spirit touched the utter beauty of their glowing
spirits in that place. Even now, it Calls to me...

     I notice that my eyes are peering deep into the fire. Will the dancing
flames acknowledge me? I'm not afraid as I was before to hear their whisperings.
I need to be given a sign that my powers have returned.

     "...Nameless One tried stopping Willow Bird from coming here," whispers
the shaman.

     I turn to Deep-roots-that-whisper with surprise. The chief makes a violent
warding off gesture with his hands to cast evil away. Frozen Finger shows fear.
When three pairs of eyes fall on me, I avoid them by looking at the fire. My
shoulders are feeling its burden.

     "The hope of all the People are in Willow Bird," announces the shaman.
"He is worthy of that sacred task and I know that he has a good heart."

     There's awe in the chief's eyes for me. I return to staring at the fire
since I'm not worthy of their trust. I no longer have the Power.

     'All the greatness you are to become is within you, Willow Bird.'

     My eyes widen with surprise. I look at the aged chief, his son and the
shaman but they didn't Hear that voice. My breath trembles. I close my eyes and
acknowledge the path before me. My People need me!

     To my surprise, I watch the shaman struggling to his feet that signals the
end to our council. I'm quick to his side to help the old man up. He leaves the
chief's lodge after muttering his farewell.

     Bright sunlight smarts my eyes. Warmth comes to my limbs and I feel a
powerful exhilaration from deep inside me. My arms lift up to Him, towards the
Light. All my doubts and fears are burned from me. "I will be shaman."

     "Eh, what's that Willow Bird?"

     The old man faces me with understanding filling his eyes. He smiles at me.
"I am ready to be the One."

     Deep-roots-that-whisper nods. He is relieved to hear that and heads for
his lodge.

     I walk at the old man's side. My spirit feels as light as a feather. My
heavy burdens have finally been accepted and it has freed me of worry or doubt.
My People need me. I will act to protect them and be their spiritual leader.

     The shaman stops. I'm surprised that we're already standing in front of
his lodge and at his gesture, we go inside. Sah-omb helps his master sit down.
I join them around the fire.

     "You have chosen your path, Willow Bird."

     "Yes. I was afraid to walk it but no more." I'm feeling the afterglow of
having stood in the Light.

     "Our Father had marked you thus," says Deep-roots-that-whisper.

     The man's bony hand reaches for my hair. "What do I need to do?"

     "Hmm. This is your path to follow, Willow Bird. I think it is good that
you'll be returning to your People. Try to keep peace in your heart. Anger and
fear leads to darkness which is the Nameless One's domain. He failed to tempt
you into evil and that has made you stronger."

     I recall my terrible trials. How the Darkness-that-comes wanted me to be
his Trickster but I would not! I'm like the snake that has cast away its old
skin. It has freed me. Made me stronger in spirit to face what is to come.

     "Your shaman will teach you the sacred rites of your People. I See that
you'll become much more. The One who will lead us all."

     I recall what he's said to his chief. "The circle of shamans have chosen
me?" Deep-roots-that-whisper nods in reply but he doesn't explain further. It
begs a question to be asked. "Was the shaman of the Spear-bearing Tribe a
member of that circle?"

     The old man is puzzled. He thinks back to what Coyote Thief had admitted
to him last summer when they spoke about the bundle Big Horn had carried to him
from the Kalinlepi shaman. It was feared that Owl's Hoot, a Trickster for the
Nameless One had learned of it and who the bundle was for.

     I see that the shaman is deep in thought. Will he answer me?

     Deep-roots-that-whisper decides to share what he knows. "We do not confer
with our enemies. I was surprised when your monedo's Spear-bearing companion
told me of his shaman's interest in you."

     "What did he tell you?" I ask.

     "Only that. I'm prevented from revealing our plans for you and that
warrior wouldn't tell me anything so I don't know what his shaman's interest in
you was about."

     My eyes widen with understanding. "That Spear-bearing shaman passed the
power of Mah Nayee into me."

     "Mah Nayee?" asks Deep-roots-that-whisper. He mouths the strange words.

     My eyes drop from his and I close my mouth. I've spoken a vow to keep the
rites of the Mahyee-na secret. When the shaman glares at me, I cover my mouth
in a gesture that I'm under oath not to speak about it.

     "Hmm. You've declared yourself leader of the Mahyee-na to me. I've already
gleaned that it's a society of men who share your spirit for having male sex
together. I can understand why you don't want to talk about that."

     I'm stung by the shaman's words. "It is much more." The old man continues
to glare at me and my resistance crumbles. He has much wisdom to offer since I
don't fully understand my given powers or why they even came to me.

     "The Grandfather side of Mah Nayee was passed from that Spear-bearing
shaman through my monedo's lover who in turn passed it to me. The Grandmother
side passed through... ah, my last lover who was training to be the next
shaman of their People. He was helping me to control our Father's gifts of
Changing, Healing and Seeing."

     Deep-roots-that-whisper reveals his interest in what I've said. His mouth
opens to ask me something but he doesn't.

     "All those good men are dead," I whisper. The Darkness-that-comes is
coming after me to make me his evil servant but failing that, to kill me too."

     The shaman finds his voice. It is trembling when he asks, "Have you passed
the Mah Nayee power to someone?"

     "Yes. To both a boy and a girl."

     "Who are they?" the shaman asks.

     I try swallowing in my dry throat. "The boy is from the Split Tribe and
he's to become the next leader of the Mahyee-na after me. The Trickster has
already tried to kill him."

     "And the girl?"

     "She is immature to bear the fruit from my loins but I've Seen her pass
what I gave her to her older sister. She is married to a warrior of my tribe.
They've been trying for children but none have come to them. She will bear my
child."

     "It is wise that you keep their names close to your heart," says the
shaman. "The Nameless One has many ears. I do not understand this Mah Nayee
power that you've been given. It is a rite from an enemy tribe."

     I feel stung. I've revealed more than I should to this man and he has
nothing to offer me in return. "Do not our enemies try walking in the Light as
we do?" I ask. "They may practice different rites but that doesn't mean they
embrace evil! That Spear-bearing shaman traded his place in the Above for my
shaman so that he could remain on our Mother for a while longer to train me.
His son came to help me too. He was teaching me how to control my gifts but the
Split Tribe killed him!"

     Deep-roots-that-whisper raises his hand in submission. "What you say is
true, Willow Bird. I am glad that you can see beyond the hatred that enemies
have for one another."

     I breathe in deeply to calm myself. My eyes bore into the shaman's. "The
Darkness-that-comes is our shared enemy along with His evil servant, the
Trickster."

     "I know this, Willow Bird."

     "I've shared with you. Please tell me what the circle of shamans have
planned for me."

     Deep-roots-that-whisper releases an angry hiss. He peers into the fire.

     I stare at the shaman with the hope that he'll answer me. Always, I'm
expected to act for the good of my People even when they don't appreciate my
sacrifices. What do the circle of shamans want me to do?

     Sah-omb touches my thigh, startling me. He eyes the middle of my chest,
at the small bundle hanging down from my neck. A whisper is Heard in my head.
The boy is curious about what's inside.

     My heart bursts from strong emotion. I am Connected to Sah-omb! Joy and
relief fills me that this gift from our Father has returned to me!

     "Ehk neo pist, Abee!"

     The shaman stares at Sah-omb with wide eyes.

     "Willow Bird neo pist toa, eem."

     I don't understand the boy's strange words but from his thoughts I know
what he's told the shaman. I smile at the old man. "Sah-omb thinks I've passed
a Wind Spirit to him."

     "What did you say?" barks the shaman.

     I glance at the boy's hand over my thigh and Think to him. 'It is only me
in your head.' Sah-omb jumps to his feet with a startled look in his eyes. He
rushes to the shaman.

     "Abee! Ehk neo pist, Willow Bird. Toa ahn pint me-ah eem ag-tee-min pist
so tahn ahdee!"

     I see the old man's face fill with surprise. Sah-omb is jumping up and
down at his side with excitement. He points at me. I meet their stares with a
knowing grin. I'm filled with happiness and am in awe of what's happened.

     "Tell me what you've done, Willow Bird."

     "I Mind Spoke to Sah-omb."

     When the shaman shows confusion, I offer my hand to him. The old man shyly
reaches out to grip my fingers. I Send him my thoughts. 'Our Father has
forgiven me! He's given back my powers!'

     "Eiii! In my head?" the shaman gasps.

     'Yes. Tell Sah-omb that I'm not a Wind Spirit.' The heat of the fire
scorches my arm so I'm forced to pull my hand from the shaman's. He turns to
the boy and speaks low words to calm him. Sah-omb replies in his high-pitched
voice, a mouse's squeak while he continues to point at me.

     I watch their exchange. Sah-omb becomes frustrated when the old man
doesn't believe what he's saying. The boy points at the tattoo above his right
shoulder blade. He points at me and then at his head. His voice rises in pitch
and he jumps up and down.

     Laughter comes out of me. I'm feeling so happy that our Father no longer
forsakes me. My gifts have been returned!

     It grows silent in the lodge. Two sets of eyes are on me, stares that I
meet with a grin. The fire hisses for attention. I stare at the dancing flames
and an Image fills my eyes: horsemen crossing the plains. Many of them. Father
Sun glints over their spears with anger. Worry and fear strangles my heart.

     "The Spear-bearing warriors are coming," I whisper. "Many of them."

     "Eh, what did you say?"

     I jump to my feet. "My People are in danger!" I shout. "They are crossing
the plains and will soon reach the river. I must go!"

     I'm scurry around the lodge like a trapped squirrel. My heart races inside
my chest and my breaths are painful gasps. I must do something!

     The fire pit explodes behind me sending burning coals in all directions.
Sparks fly towards the lodge's smoke hole like a hoard of angry fire flies. I
turn around and stare at the devastation, dumb folded.

     "Willow Bird!" cries the shaman. He's brushing burning wood and ash from
his robe. Sah-omb crouches behind the old man in fright.

     I drop to my knees in anguish. Did I cause that to happen?! My shoulder is
gripped and my head fills with the shaman's fears and concern. 'Help me!' I
Send. 'My People are in danger!'

     A heaviness comes to my stomach. My eyes close but the Image of what I've
Seen replays itself against my eyelids. Drums. I hear frantic drum beats that
could be my racing heart. There's a blazing fire in me that burns my spirit.
Power, undirected that I cannot control!

     I feel myself being lowered to the ground. I'm given something to drink
that cools my inner fire. Strength leaves me. My limbs have become like a grass
doll tossed to the dirt. I'm falling into darkness...

     A woman is screaming. Other voices join hers so I rush from the woods to
see what's wrong. My feet are slowed by the mud. No. I'm sinking into the dirt!
A multitude of arms spring out from my body to form green fingers. More than a
hand should have.

     The ground thunders with anger. Painted warriors lose heart and cry out in
fright, running in all directions. Their weapons and shields are tossed to the
dirt. Forgotten.

     My eyes are lost to me. Yet I Sense what is happening around me and Feel
Father Sun's warmth. Faint voices are heard in the wind. They're calling out to
me as if I'm their lost brother.

     My thoughts become strange. I seek nourishment from cool below and from
the warmth above. I'm anchored to our Mother. Standing, unmoving. What am I
waiting for?


     I awaken to the smell of something good. There's a boy's startled cry in
the lodge and I'm lifted by strong hands into a sitting position. The shaman
presses a wooden bowl against my lips. I eagerly drink the soup down.

     The empty bowl is taken away. I see the shaman's concern for me. He sits
down at my side to study me with sharp eyes. I have to look away. Sah-omb is
kneeling by the fire, peering at me in fright.

     "Are you feeling better?" the shaman asks.

     I take a deep breath. My head feels clear and strength has returned to my
limbs. It is dark in the lodge. "Have I slept long?"

     "It is early morning."

     I spring to my knees. "Morning?" I ask. The old man nods his head. "Our
enemies are soon to attack! I must return to warn my tribe."

     "Shakes-like-the-ground has rallied a war party to return with you to the
Kalinlepi. Are you up to that journey?"

     Relief fills me. "Yes, shaman. Pull me over a horse's back and I'll ride."

     "That is good. Ah, Willow Bird..."

     I peer at the shaman and know he's about to ask me something difficult.
"I'm sorry about what I did! I can't control my Powers and when I Saw that my
People are in danger..." I glance at the fire pit.

     "Your shaman will teach you."

     Pain squeezes my heart. Smiles A Lot was to teach me but he is gone.

     "You possess frightening abilities," the shaman whispers. "How you wield
them will prove your heart and earn the respect of your People."

     "Or their fear," I add.

     "Yes. Hatred is the easier path to follow but it is selfish and not worthy
to indulge with what our Father has given you."

     I release a troubled breath. "I'm to serve the People."

     "Remember that, Willow Bird."

     I endure the harsh glare from Deep-roots-that-whisper. He's warning me
that I should not avenge my lover's death. "I hear what you're telling me."

     "That is good. Ah. I have something for you," the shaman says. He gets to
his feet and walks to a dark corner of his lodge. My eyes fall on Sah-omb. He's
peeking at me from his ground mat. A play of emotion is seen on the boy's face:
curiosity, fear and a deep yearning that touches my heart. I raise my hand to
the youth and offer him my smile of assurance.

     Sah-omb comes to me like a dog who's unsure of his master's intent. Slow,
careful steps. When he nears, I open my arms to the boy and set him down in my
lap. He's trembling. My thoughts are kept from him. Yet I Send my love and
feelings of protection any parent offers their child. It aches my heart that
this youth has become afraid of me.

     My left hand roams over Sah-omb's chest. I feel him relaxing, soothed by
my caress. His nipples harden under my palm. I kiss his soft hair, his ear and
sense the boy's rising excitement. My hand lowers down the youth's tummy and
tickles it. The boy giggles. He grabs my naughty hand, leading it under his
front flap so I grasp his stiff pole. A gentle fingering to pleasure him.

     I glance at the darkened corner of the lodge but don't find the shaman.
What is he looking for to bring me? I don't deserve a gift.

     Sah-omb turns his face towards me. I kiss over his nose and warm cheeks,
deepening our Connection. He trembles. Not like before when he was scared of
me but from feeling good. His butt flexes over my thigh in response to handling
his erection. We're both enjoying his sharp male thrills.

     A sense of happiness comes to me. I've taken many boys in hand, offering
them bodily pleasure and instruction for their heads. Sah-omb is special. He's
quick to give of himself, to accept love and is forgiving when I've harmed him.

     I press my forehead against the boy's and close my eyes. I'm feeling such
strong emotions for Sah-omb! He would be a good lover for me.

     I'm startled when the boy's lips press against mine. I kiss him back. He's
not shared this part of himself with anyone before. I show him that it's a good
thing to do. I wet my lips. His tongue meets mine, curling around and seeking
entrance into my mouth. I gently suck on it. My tongue slips into the boy's
mouth. His teeth part to allow me further inside. We kiss more strongly. A
wonderful expression of love!

     Sah-omb's breath explodes in my mouth. It ends our sweet kissing. His eyes
are fluttering, proving that the boy has achieved climax. I've Felt his intense
thrill. My cock throbs strongly and only from much effort was I able to prevent
its release. It's left me feeling very lustful.

     We both pant for breath. Sah-omb's eyes are shining up at me. I smile
back. Within reach are this boy's thoughts but I'm reluctant to grasp them
though I suspect what they would be. His acceptance as my new lover?

     Guilt squeezes my heart for having forgotten about Smiles A Lot. This
brief sweet moment with Sah-omb had taken me away from his painful loss.

     'I am to stay with the old man. He needs me.'

     I'm startled that the boy had read my unguarded thoughts!

     'You are missing him very much, Willow Bird. I know. He is inside you.
Waiting to be embraced.'

     Before I can ask Sah-omb what he meant by that, the shaman calls my name.
I slip my wet hand from the boy's breechclout. He springs to his feet and goes
to the old man's side. Yes. That is where he belongs. I stand up and face the
shaman when he offers me something being held in his hands. It's a shaman's
white robe.

     My head hangs. "I don't deserve it, shaman."

     "Hmm. Honor me by wearing it when in service of your People and make it
so," answers Deep-roots-that-whisper.

     I reluctantly accept the robe. It unfolds from my hands to reveal its fine
craftsmanship. Small rounded seashells run down the front on one side that
align with stitched holes to fasten it. The cloth is soft elk skin. Plain and
without painted designs.

     "When your shaman initiates you in our ways, you'll adorn this robe with
emblems of your medicine. The People will acknowledge you as their spiritual
leader and place their trust in you."

     I glean what this wise man is telling me. I reverently fold the robe and
am offered a sack to keep it in. A strong hand clasps my shoulder.

     "You are the One, Willow Bird. The circle of shamans believes this, your
shaman believes this and even a shaman of our enemies believed this. When you
believe this yourself, you will be. A shaman who will lead the People into the
Light of our Father!"

     I stare into the old man's eyes and see his utter faith in me. I nod my
head. Sah-omb giggles at my side, drawing my eyes down at him. The boy has a
hand under his front flap. I glance at the obvious bulge in mine and my face
burns with embarrassment.

     In a low voice, "Do not be ashamed of what you are, Willow Bird. I accept
that you are Mahyee-na and by guiding youths, you'll prevent them from serving
Evil through your love."

     My heart bursts to hear that from the shaman. Sah-omb grasps my waist. His
shining eyes peer up at me so I ruffle the boy's hair and return his grin.

     "Come sit with me," the shaman asks. He sets himself down before the fire.

     I take my seat on the other side of the fire pit with Sah-omb sitting in
my lap. My arms go lovingly around the boy, holding him close while the old man
speaks of many things. He has much wisdom to offer me. I'm like a thirsty horse
who tries drinking more than his fill and spilling some to the ground.

     Sometime during our long talk, Sah-omb leaves the lodge. I miss not having
him in my arms but this gives me the chance to ask the shaman something.

     "What did Sah-omb mean that I've given him a Wind Spirit?"

     The old man nods his head. "Ah, yes. He Heard your voice in his head and
thought it was a Wind Spirit. The boy comes from an Ocean People who hold
beliefs that are different from ours. Sah-omb's shaman believes that he'll give
a fallen Wind Spirit its voice through him. You've seen that curious tattoo on
his back."

     I wait for the shaman to tell me more. He goes into deep thought, staring
at the dying embers. The dancing flames have since faded. Nothing for me to See
and in a way, I'm relieved. What had been revealed to me last night was
frightening enough.

     The old man doesn't speak for a long while. I sense that he's troubled.
"Shaman. Sah-omb is devoted to you and won't leave your side for anything...
or anyone."

     "I need him."

     There's a look of surprise coming from the shaman. I don't think he meant
to voice that thought.

     "Ah. It's nearly time for you to leave. Shakes-like-the-ground should have
his men ready for a noon departure."

     The shaman points at the dirt below his lodge's smoke hole where Father
Sun's bright Finger has struck. I realize that we've talked the morning away.
My elk skin robe and tied bundle of jerky are fetched. I'm led outside by the
old man. He looks around for someone. Ah, Sah-omb. Where has that boy gone to?

     "I'll see you off, Willow Bird."

     The shaman grasps my shoulder. We walk side-by-side through camp with the
People waving to us. Their excited voices and cheers raise my spirits but I
can't help but think about the wives and children of the men accompanying me to
the Kalinlepi who may not see them again after battle. That's a warrior's life.
And one of its greatest burdens. Braves are usually unmarried and can risk much
in war to gain them head feathers.

     I palm the small bundle hanging down from my neck. There's Power there,
waiting to be awakened but at what cost to myself? The forest will protect my
People. That's what the Oak Tree Mother had whispered to me. Taking her son
into me will join my spirit to theirs but will I remain as Willow Bird?

     The big central lodge comes into sight. I'm amazed by the long line of men
standing with their horses. Are they all coming back with me? A painted shield
is held in each man's arm. Tomahawks, flint blades, spears, and bows cases
complete their armory. Their mounts bear water skins and food satchels for the
journey ahead. They've also been painted for war.

     Shakes-like-the-ground raises his hand to us in greeting. He casts his
proud gaze over the braves. Nearly three hands of fingers of them! There are
two warriors. I recognize Left-hand Bow. He acknowledges me with a hand wave.

     Chief Climbs-over-the-mountain is embracing a young man. It's Frozen
Finger. I note the tension in this brave's face. No feathers in his hair; he
has much to prove as a chief's son.

     Shaman Deep-roots-that-whisper raises his hands towards the sky. Everyone
quiets down, heads bowed when his prayer is spoken unto Wah-Conda. I Feel the
flow of power encircling and penetrating us from all directions like a cozy
sleeping skin on a cold night.

     A teenage boy hands me the reins to a brown mare. I pack my robe and
bundle of jerky on her. The men mount up. With the shaman's helping hand, I
swing over the mare's back and take my place behind Shakes-like-the-ground. All
the People cheer. It's a thunderous noise!

     I peer down at shaman Deep-roots-that-whisper. He is smiling. My right
hand stretches out in farewell to this man. He nods in reply. Before I realize
it, our horses are trotting through camp. We reach the mountain passage down.
Everyone dismounts to lead their horses. That's when I notice the bulging sacks
tied to my horse. They're filled with smoked buffalo meat.

     We walk down the trail in silence. It's a grand view; I can see the valley
spread out before me with forests beyond. Turning back, I see the long line of
men following behind. Their strength at arms will be added to my tribe when
war comes.

     Down and down we walk without an end to it. Sweat covers my body. I'm
second in line, following Shakes-like-the-ground who is the war leader of our
band. Not once has he turned to look back. Our trail winds back and forth when
we slowly make our way down. Thirst begins to gnaw at me.

     I think over all the things Deep-roots-that-whisper had said to me this
morning. Advice on how a shaman should act. I realize what I've been doing
wrong in the eyes of my People. They were unaware of my trials, suffering or
how I've acted to protect them from evil. I didn't want to boast. I also don't
want anyone to fear me because of my given powers. Many see me as only a boy.
Yet I've earned the right to wear a warrior's feather in my hair if I were to
but claim that honor.

     I suppose what I'm really afraid of is losing myself; what I see in me as
the boy I was earlier this summer. Carefree, happy and only having to think
about myself. Much has happened these past moons. I have to leave boyhood
behind and become a man.

     A deep breath is taken into my lungs. I straighten my back, shoulders out
and step into the footprints left by Shakes-like-the-ground. My eyes go to the
man's three eagle feathers tied in his hair. The People respect these outward
signs of a person's worth. I should count coup before my chief and claim my
feather so that I'll be given respect. That's what Deep-roots-that-whisper was
trying to tell me.

     A trail guard reveals himself when we reach the half-way point down the
mountain. He speaks with Shakes-like-the-ground. When I notice that the other
men are watering their horses, I fetch a bulging skin and fill my hands for the
mare to drink from. She bulks at my offering. I sigh in longing for my own
horse, Pai-alucia. Does he fare well on the plains?

     At some unseen signal, our rest break ends. I quickly take a gulp of water
and tie the skin over the horse's back, tugging on her reins to catch up with
Shakes-like-the-ground. The brave behind waits for me to get back in line.

     I tug on my horse's reins to keep her moving. My eyes fall to the war
leader's feet, each rhythmic step he puts forward and down that helps drive
troubling thoughts from my head. It's slow going down the mountain.

     I concentrate on my steps. There are loose rocks covering the path and I'm
being mindful of my horse so that she doesn't get too close to the edge. When I
look back, the long line of men trudge forward. Dust is brought up by their
feet and the hooves from their horses.

     Sweat runs into my eyes. I shake my head, wiping my face with a free hand
while keeping the tension on my mare's reins. She's no longer fighting me. I
listen to the rhythmic clomping of hooves against stone. There's the occasional
whinny from a troubled horse. My eyes return to Shakes-like-the-ground, down at
his feet over the path. I concentrate on keeping my feet moving. One after the
other. The time passes but slowly.


     A hawk's cry helps me regain my senses. I take a look around. Father Sun
is about to drop behind the peaks yet we still have a ways to go. The air has
become noticeably cooler. A shiver goes through my sweated body. Looking past
the war leader, I see the valley below that always seems just beyond reach. We
should be off this mountain by sunset. Will Shakes-like-the-ground strike a
night camp there?

     The memory of my startling vision returns. Many Spear-bearing warriors
crossing the plains with hatred in their hearts. We must reach my People before
them!

     My pounding heartbeat is heard in my ears. I take a few deep breaths to
calm myself. It doesn't help. I'm feeling worn down by our walking and the
monotony of it is hard to bare. There's no one to talk to. I angrily pull on my
mare's reins to keep up with Shakes-like-the-ground.

     Crickets begin singing their night songs. Our trail has become twisted and
less steep. We pass through a canyon. The one with the painted scenes of naked
men hunting huge shaggy animals. I'm only seeing this from memory since there's
not light enough to actual view it.

     Before realizing it, we come to an even level footing that means we've
reached the valley. Shakes-like-the-ground stops. I hear the horses whinnying
and that almost has me shouting with relief!

     I turn for the mare's back and fetch the water skin. My cupped hands
relieve her thirst and I'm last to take a drink. Shakes-like-the-ground comes
to my side.

     "How are you doing, Willow Bird?"

     I wipe my mouth and can only muster enough strength to nod my head. He
passes me to go check on his men. I've been given his horse's reins.

     I'm feeling better after satisfying my thirst. I reach into one of the
bulging sacks and fetch a stick of smoked buffalo meat to eat. My teeth make
quick work of it. My strength slowly returns. I peer up at the sky, at the
nearly full moon that makes me realize we could travel a bit further before
striking a night camp. I'll suggest this to Shakes-like-the-ground when he
returns.

     I check on my mare's girth belt. She flinches at my touch and reminds me
how much I'll miss Pai-alucia. He was my monedo's horse that had come to me
after his death. Coyote Thief was the stallion's previous companion. Sadness
fills me. Both those good men are dead, murdered by a servant of the Darkness-
that-comes and I had almost succumbed to his evil. My trial is over with. It's
made me stronger and with our Father's blessing, my powers have returned. I'll
try to use them to serve the People.

     There's a strong hand felt over my shoulder. I sense Shakes-like-the-
ground's thoughts that are of me, his concern if I'm able to continue our
journey into the night. I turn to the warrior and hand his horse's reins back
to him. Our Connection is broken.

     I find my voice. "Ah. We could walk a ways further before striking a night
camp. There's nearly a full moon, light enough to find our way."

     "I'm glad to hear you say that, Willow Bird. I've talked with my men and
they want to press on."

     Shakes-like-the-ground turns his horse forward but he doesn't mount up. I
tug on my mare's reins to get her walking. There's the soft thud of hooves
behind me when the rest of the men follow.

     It's a warm night. Unlike the others, I'm not wearing a shirt or leggings
but they're not needed on the plains. Only on their mountain are additional
clothes necessary to ward off the cold. I reach down to feel over the
breechclout Shakes-like-the-ground had given me. It's of soft deerskin. The
scanty Wah-ha cloth Colored Rain had given me to cover my loins had been left
behind in the shaman's lodge.

     Deep-roots-that-whisper has given me a shaman's robe but I won't wear it
until my tribe's shaman has trained me to follow in his footsteps. Will he be
able to help me control our Father's gifts? Smiles A Lot was to teach me...

     I put an end to that troubling thought. I'd only end up crying and this is
no place to show weakness. Not in front of these men. I marvel over how many
braves Shakes-like-the-ground was able to persuade in coming back with me to my
tribe. Nearly three hands in fingers! Two warriors add to this number, not
including Shakes-like-the-ground. They'll double the strength of the Kalinlepi
when we face the Spear-bearing warriors. I hope that we'll arrive in time.

     Our walk continues through the dark. Grandfather Moon helps guide our
steps through the plains and over gently rising hills. I notice that Shakes-
like-the-ground is following a worn path. There's no grass beneath my feet. It
stands waist high on either side of us.

     I'm keeping my ears open for danger. My monedo's training is ever in mind.
There's the songs of crickets but foremost, I hear the horses. Buffalo sleep
during the night so there's no danger from being trampled. What we need to be
concerned about are enemy warriors. They could have spied on our departure from
the mountain.

     A yawn fills my mouth. And another. My pained legs help keep me awake but
I'm looking forward to an end of walking and laying over a ground mat to sleep.

     I'm often looking up at the bright stars. I name them softly to myself to
keep me from thinking about sleep.

     It's becoming difficult to put one foot in front of the other. My mare is
fighting me, tugging on her reins in silent complaint about all the walking.
She wants to go to sleep. Me too.

     Eventually, Grandfather Moon sets His head down to rest. Shakes-like-the-
ground turns his horse to signal a stop. I take in a deep breath. It becomes a
yawn and I feel myself falling to the ground in utter exhaustion.


     Sometime late in the night, I'm forced awake by my full bladder. There's
a ground mat beneath me. Ah. Shakes-like-the-ground must have laid me over it.
I slowly rise to get my bearings. It's very dark. My ears tell me where the
horses are by their soft breathing and I hear someone snoring. It takes some
effort but I manage to get my stiff legs under me. Slow are my steps. I don't
want to trip over anyone or disturb the horses.

     A dark form springs up before me. My heart squeezes with fear! until I
hear low assuring words. They come from Left-hand Bow.

     "No to sleep, Willow Bird?"

     "I have to piss."

     "Ah. To good do that and me too," the warrior whispers.

     Left-hand Bow grips my shoulder and together, we walk away from camp. He
leads me further from the sleeping men than I think is necessary. We come to a
lone tree. I lift my front flap and let go. The warrior at my side sighs with
relief when he joins me.

     I drop my flap and am about to turn for camp when a curious sound reaches
my ears. Skin rubbing... Ah. Left-hand Bow is handling himself. I feel a tremor
of excitement race down my spine. Turning to the warrior, my hand reaches out
to find his cock. It's nearly hard. The man releases himself so that I can make
slow pulls over his foreskin to grow it to size. He fondles my butt.

     I bend over to slip the man's cock into my mouth. My right hand grips the
warrior's waist. My sucking begins in earnest. His knob is sweet though I taste
aged fat in my mouth that comes from the man not cleaning himself there. He has
a thick cock. Not too long. I'm able to go down on it until feeling his balls
against my chin. He groans softly.

     Left-hand Bow rolls my rear flap around my thong belt. I hear him spit. He
fingers my hole a few times, spitting again to his hand so that our joining
will be easier. I push against the man's waist and stand up.

     My hands reach out to grab hold of the tree. I spread my legs. Left-hand
Bow steps behind me and he directs his cock between my cheeks. His aim is true.
I feel his swollen knob penetrate my asshole and fill it in one quick thrust.
My groan of pain is kept inside me. The man grabs my hips and stabs hard. He
must be in great need because he fucks me violently and without pause.

     I'm surprised Left-hand Bow didn't ask me to lay over my back. That's
usually how he likes to fuck. On my last visit with the Moss-bowl, he showed me
this new position with my legs over his shoulders so that his cock could fully
enter me. He managed to reach my squaw spot that way.

     The pain in my butt lessens. By standing and doing it, Left-hand Bow's
cock isn't of length to pound me deeply. Not like Shakes-like-the-ground. Yet
I'm satisfied to vent this man's lust. I back into his forward stabs and
tighten my ringed muscles when he withdraws. He's stabbing so quickly that I'm
not always able to keep a proper rhythm with my butt.

     I notice that the crickets have stopped singing around us. Their night
song has been replaced by groans, a squishy pounding and my sharp inward
breaths. We're too far from camp for anyone to hear what we're doing together.

     My hands keep a tight hold of the tree. I endure the warrior's pounding in
my butt and hear breaths singing through his mouth from the effort of it. He
fucks me good and hard. I reach back my left hand to feel over his surging
cheeks. Powerful muscles flexing from manhood strength and lust.

     Left-hand Bow's cock stiffens in my asshole. He's holding breaths. I
eagerly await the man's ending that will leave me with a filled butt!

     A pained gasp escapes my mouth when the warrior pulls out and stabs my
butt hard. The man clutches my hips. He repeats his savage act then groans out
like an elk bull. I think that he's cumming in me. My butt is feeling too hurt.

     Left-hand Bow raises his hands to my chest. I feel his heated breaths
against my neck when he recovers from fucking me. My cock is throbbing under my
front flap but I'll not find relief in this man's arms because he doesn't share
my spirit of being Mahyee-na.

     I confirm this by reading this man's thoughts. He's feeling his male
relief but there's no love in him for me. I should have expected that. Our
Connection fades, leaving me feeling ill used by this warrior.

     I fill my lungs with air. My legs are really hurting me; my butt, too! If
not for this man's arms around me, I'd have fallen to the ground.

     "My thanks to you, Willow Bird."

     I nod my head. Oh. The darkness prevents him from seeing my acknowledgement
but I'm not feeling like voicing a reply. In the next moment, Left-hand Bow's
hands drop from my body. I stagger over the ground until finding my balance.
The warrior faces me a moment then turns for camp. I watch him go.

     I reach down for my aching butt. The man's last stabs had really hurt yet
I'm left feeling satisfied for having given it to him. My cheeks feel wet and
sticky. I'm sure that my asshole is very full. Should I take a squat now so
that I'll be able to sleep through to morning?

     I'm startled when someone calls out my name.

     "That is you, isn't it?" the brave asks.

     "Yes..." I straighten up to face the approaching man. The dark prevents me
from seeing his face.

     "Are you all right?" he asks. "I'm standing on guard and heard something."

     I release my breath slowly so that he won't hear my excitement. "I was
with Left-hand Bow. We were pissing there by the tree and ah, he also relieved
himself in me." My last words were bold!

     There's an awkward pause. The young man steps beside me and I hear a
rustling from his breechclout. An exciting thrill shoots down my spine. I turn
away so the brave can see that my butt is uncovered. Disappointment fills me
when I hear pissing. I let him know by releasing my breath in a loud huff.

     When the brave finishes, I'm surprised that he remains standing with me.
I step a little closer to him.

     "How many days away is your tribe?"

     "Hmm. It should take us two days if we ride fast," I answer. "I'm grateful
that the Moss-bowl could send us so many men."

     "The Kalinlepi are our friends. It is bad that the Spear-bearing People
are making war on you but perhaps I'll earn a feather from it."

     I smile. "What is your name?"

     "I'm called Moss-stone-walker."

     A small laugh comes out of me. "I'm sorry! The men of your tribe have
unusual names," I explain, "but I suppose that comes from living on a mountain."

     "Ah, yes. And your People are named after trees."

     "Only me." I think over the names we use and see how they reflect our way
of life: deer hunting, living on the muddy river, marveling after birds and so
forth. I realize that I'm the only person with a tree in their name.

     "I've heard things about you, Willow Bird."

     I keep my mouth shut in the hope that Moss-stone-walker will tell me.

     "Ah. You and Left-hand Bow had wandered far from camp."

     "I think you know why," is my curt reply. The brave steps closer to me
until we're nearly touching. I'm waiting for him to do something but he simply
stands there, his face lifting to the sky. Is he going to talk about the stars?

     I can't stand the waiting so I reach out and feel over the front of Moss-
stone-walker's breechclout. There's a revealing bulge. When the brave doesn't
object to my touching, I pull the flap from this thong belt and let it fall. My
hand returns to him. He has a skinny dick like a boy's but my fingers trace its
full length down to his balls. His manhood is very long!

     A few pulls are given to the brave's foreskin. I feel his oozing against
my wrist. Moss-stone-walker doesn't say anything. He doesn't gasp, groan or
even breathe. I suspect that he likes being handled so let's see if I'll get a
reaction by sucking him.

     I drop to my knees. Both my hands grip the brave's waist when I slip the
end of his long dick into my mouth. I tongue over his swollen knob. With tight
lips, I slowly go down on him as far as I dare without gagging. The man's hands
come to the back of my head. He pulls my face to his hairy groin.

     I pull back when his cock spears into my tonsils. My gag is kept inside my
heaving belly. Moss-stone-walker relaxes his hands around my head and that
gives me the freedom of motion to suck him properly. I'm enjoying his skinny
dick. It almost seems like I'm kneeling before a young boy. Only when my mouth
swallows his full length, my nose in his groin hair and my chin sticking into
his large balls prove that he is a man.

     I'm startled when Moss-stone-walker pushes me away. I stand up and take a
quick look around. I don't hear anything. Only crickets' song.

     "I'm on guard duty," the brave explains. "I should get back to camp."

     My heart sinks. Yet an idea comes to me that I voice. "The horses will
warn us if something's amiss. You can do me quick, Moss-stone-walker." I turn
around and back myself onto the brave's groin. My hand directs his dick between
my cheeks and before the man can object, our bodies slam together. I'm feeling
the full length of his dick in my asshole. Its penetration was aided by the cum
left in me by Left-hand Bow.

     My hips are gripped. Moss-stone-walker releases a trembling breath that
proves his excitement from sticking in my butt yet his stabs don't begin. I
reach back for the man's butt, pulling over it to force his thrusts. His
fingers dig into my sides. He tries pulling out. I tighten my spincer muscles
to prevent his dick's escape and back onto his hairy groin. A sharp gasp!

     Moss-stone-walker starts fucking me. He pulls back then gives my asshole a
swift stab, striking my squaw spot that makes me gasp. A strong throb goes
through my cock. The brave bucks me again and again. I have both my hands over
his flexing cheeks so that he won't push me over. The crickets stop singing.

     The brave's dick is making a squishing sound through my butt. His breaths
race through his mouth and come out as high-pitched cries. I'm keeping my mouth
shut. Otherwise, I'd be waking the whole camp by how I'm feeling from getting
fucked. His deeper stabs are giving me intense pain/thrills in my butt!

     Moss-stone-walker reaches around for my belly and locks his hands over it.
He gives me a hard swift stab. No pulling back? I hear the man's low satisfying
groan. There's a thrilling throbbing from his dick. He's pumping sperm in me! I
keep my hands tight around his butt to keep our bodies together.

     Twinkling stars are seen at the edge of my sight. I have to pant for
breath so intense were this man's stabs in my butt. He pleasured my squawness.
I'm surprised that my cock didn't shoot off but I'm left feeling really horny.

     "Ah! It felt good," says Moss-stone-walker with breath-filled words.

     I give the man a fond slap over his butt. "Was this your first..."

     "In a man's butt, yes. I've laid with a woman before. At the white man's
trading post but my heart didn't soar like it does now!"

     I wonder if Moss-stone-walker realizes what he's said. His act with me
proves that he's Mahyee-na, at least from the front part of his body.

     "Were you much hurt?" he asks.

     I pull over the man's sweaty cheeks with both my hands, urging him to fuck
me some more in a tease. The brave groans. He releases my body and steps back
to pull his dick out of me. I quickly turn to face him.

     I'm surprised when Moss-stone-walker feels over my front flap. I pull it
from my thong belt so that he can touch my cock if he wants to. He does. Slow
pulls over my foreskin that send thrills racing into my balls.

     "You enjoyed having me sticking in you?" There's awe heard in the brave's
voice.

     "Yes. I long for men, Moss-stone-walker." I was also going to say that he
does too but those words were kept in my mouth.

     His handling of my cock is feeling good but I want something more if he's
willing. I'm afraid to ask the man so instead, I reach out for his hips and
slowly pull his body against mine, cock against cock. The brave reaches around
for my back. He embraces me. I release a trembling breath and belly rub with
the man.

     I'm feeling such need in me to be making love to this brave! It's more
than being horny. My heart soars to be in his arms. He accepts my need and I
want to be loved as Big Horn had. That's when I realize our Connection. I'm
learning how to guard my thoughts but my feelings are Passed to this man and I
can sense how he feels about me.

     It's a sweet embrace. Our chests rub above while I give harsh lusty stabs
to the man's dick below. He's still hard after fucking me. "Hold my butt!"
Moss-stone-walker lowers his hands to my cheeks. He pulls over my backside when
I thrust against him. Oh, it feels so good!

     Our Connection deepens. Making love with our bodies and sharing feelings
completes me as nothing else ever has. I love this man! He has taught me well
and I'm his boy in all things.

     I'm about to kiss my brave and remember... He is not Big Horn. There's no
feeling of anguish in me or a sense of loss. Only good memories of what we had.
I shake my head and try returning to the Now.

     Moss-stone-walker keeps his hands tight over my cheeks. I'm flexing them
more quickly, driving my cock towards fulfillment. My thrills are getting very
intense. I start holding breaths. When my belly trembles, I stab the brave hard
and feel my sperm's rising. It shoots swift and strong to the man's belly. My
held breath explodes out of me. I manage to swallow my outcry so that it won't
be heard in camp. Strong feelings squeeze my heart for this brave. His arms
around me, his willingness to let me make love to him gives me a deep
satisfaction that I've not felt for a very long time.

     I relax my arms around the man's waist. His hands drop from my butt. We
continue to face each other. I feel his breath on my face and wish that it were
light enough to see him. Would I find longing in his eyes?

     Moss-stone-walker turns his head towards camp. I realize that our moment
together is going to end so I reach up for the man's shoulders, pulling my face
close to his and I plant a kiss on him. My thoughts of gratitude and hope for a
strong friendship are Sent into his head. No words; emotion only. I don't want
to frighten this man by my special gift.

     Strong arms come around my shoulders. The man embraces me for a long
moment before pulling away. I've Looked into his heart and what I found there
confirms what I hoped for. He wants to see me again.

     Moss-stone-walker wipes cum from his belly then reaches down to the ground
for his front flap. I fetch mine and fold it over my thong belt. With a weary
sigh, the brave turns for camp. I raise my hand in farewell but doubt that he
could have seen it.

     I listen to the man's footsteps going off into the distance. I'm left
alone in the dark. My butt aches me but I'm satisfied for having given it to
these men. Left-hand Bow's lust has been spent. Nothing in our hearts from the
act but loves stirs in me for Moss-stone-walker. He is a good man.

     A yawn fills my mouth. I make my way back to camp before sleep claims me.
I'm falling to my knees from exhaustion, crawling over the ground to find my
mat. Where is it? Another deep yawn. My belly presses against the soft dirt
when I surrender to sleep...

     There are eyes in the dark! I bury my face in the brave's chest and make
love to him. I'm safe in his arms, protected from harm. We're being watched.

     'It is only me, love. I know of your need for bodily comforts. Do not feel
bad. We'll always be together in spirit so I don't begrudge you seeking love
with another...'


     A horse's hungry snort awakens me. I turn my head and see a man looking
down on me. There's humor in his eyes.

     "Didn't sleep well last night, Willow Bird?"

     I peer at Shakes-like-the-ground questioningly. He points down at my
uncovered backside. My rear flap is still rolled around my thong belt,
reminding me of last night's events. A sly smile forms on my lips.

     A few men pass by while averting their eyes. I cover myself back there
while enduring the warrior's knowing stare. He helps me to stand up. I see
surprise in him and follow his eyes down to the front of me. Relief fill me to
see that I'm covered there but it's not my breechclout! There are painted
designs covering the front flap so this must belong to Moss-stone-walker. He
had accidentally grabbed mine in the dark.

     I look around to see if anyone is in ear shot before asking, "Has anyone
else noticed?"

     Shakes-like-the-ground shakes his head. "They've only seen your butt. Ah.
You should make an indiscreet exchange with Moss-stone-walker before someone
notices." The warrior chuckles.

     I take a look around before pulling the front flap from my thong belt,
turning it so that its painted designs face inwards, against my cock.

     "We'll be breaking camp soon. See to the needs of your horse and get a
quick bite to eat."

     I nod at Shakes-like-the-ground. He wanders off to check on his braves.
My ground mat is found and I roll it in my hands. The men busy themselves with
preparing for our journey. Some glance in my direction, whispering to each
other and I catch their grins.

     My brown mare is found stake-tied to the ground. She's nibbling at the
tall grass. I fill my hands with water to satisfy her thirst then take a drink
from the nearly empty skin. It'll need to be filled. That shouldn't be a
problem when we enter the forest because streams can be found. Our path will
run along the muddy river eventually.

     I undo the bindings to a sack filled with smoked buffalo meat. I'm eating
down a stick when an idea strikes me. Two handfuls of jerky are grabbed. I walk
down the line of braves readying their mounts for the journey. A stick is
offered each man who in turn introduce themselves to me. So many new faces!

     They have names that I've come to expect from a Mountain People. There's
Sharp-peak, Down-the-cliff, Howling-wind, Builds-lodges, Climbs-far, Stone-legs,
He-who-doesn't-get-cold, Boulder, Seeks-his-eyes (I don't know why this handsome
brave was given such a name), Flintstone, Fights-the-bear, Fist-in-your-face,
Brave-hearted and Moss-stone-walker.

     I'm unable to speak freely with that last brave. He seems shy. I look him
over and am pleased by his appearance. A very slim body; strength bulges in his
arms and legs. He has a lean chest that's marred by curious scars. When handing
him a stick of smoked buffalo meat, our fingers touch and I dare to Think to
him. 'I am wearing your front flap.' The man gasps with surprise, his eyes
falling down himself and understanding fills his face. I turn away before he
can say anything.

     On my way back to my horse, I give Left-hand Bow a stick. He eyes me with
lust in his eyes that I ignore. A warrior named Drum-beater politely refuses my
jerky. There's a hardness to his face that concerns me.

     Shakes-like-the-ground mounts up. I pull myself over my mare's back and
with a swift kick, get her to follow after the warrior. Our galloping horses
make a thunderous noise across the plains. We're heading towards the distant
forest and home.

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 End of file: SHAMAN10.TXT               The story continues in: SHAMAN11.TXT