Date: Tue, 31 Dec 2019 21:01:01 +0100 (CET) From: chaosmode00@tutanota.com Subject: Discovering Noah Part 8 Discovering Noah Part 8 Chaosmode Intro: This is the finale. I know that some will probably think it strange that I introduce a new character right here at the end. I wish that I Had fit him in sooner, really I maybe should have but this is as I had plotted the story. Most of this part is focused around Noah, Nathan, and Addison. There is very little Sarah until the ending chapters. This is done for various reasons, the main one is that this story is mostly about Noah not Sarah, the second is that honestly until the chapter she comes back in what happens in her life isn't as interesting as what happens in Noah and Nathan's upon meeting Addison... As always you can reach me at: chaosmode00@tutanota.com Donating to Nifty is a great idea: http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html Forty. It was during the break between his fourth and third periods that Noah met him for the first time. It was totally on accident too. He was trying to find a book in the library and he was backing up to look up on another shelf when he almost stepped on someone that was sitting on the floor that he hadn't seen before. Realizing this he had turned back and apologized. "Sorry." The boy that looked up didn't look like he belonged in high school, well a year ago the same thing might have been said about Noah himself. The younger boy was sitting on the library floor with two books opened before him and was looking through both of them. The boy's skin was almost too white, it almost made Noah's own look darker. His hair was a light blonde that was thick and went to the shoulders, he had the darkest blue eyes that Noah had ever seen and his nose was one of those small upturned ones with just a bit of freckles running the length of it. His clothes looked too big on him honestly. Noah could remember being that awkward, he still sometimes felt like he was. The boy having heard him apologize didn't say anything, but Noah noticed that looking up at him the boy flushed just a bit before quickly going back to his books. It had been four months since he and Sarah had gone their separate ways and Noah wasn't sure what his future held, but he knew that he was slightly interested in this strange boy who had two books open in front of him on the library floor at eleven in the morning. Noah sat down across from him on the floor, "what's going on here?" The boy looked up and stopped, surprised to see Noah still there, his cheeks took on a little bit of a flush. "N-nothing just studying. Its interesting, I got curious when my biology teacher said something and I wanted to know what other kinds of things chromosome defects could cause in people. You know my eyes are blue because of a genetic trait, like red hair its one of those really rare things that's not all that common but people like it because its not common." Noah said, "yeah, that's something." He knew he was smart, this boy though made him feel not quite so smart. "I'm Noah by the way." The boy stopped looking up at him, almost as if he was sure that Noah had left or something. "Addison... uh see like right here," He pushed one of the books over to Noah, "if you're born with two X chromosomes boys will have all kinds of problems and some of them even grow breasts and the such even though they're still males. There's all kinds of stuff like that, if we could figure out how to fix or chromosomes we could fix all kinds of diseases and even maybe wipe out some forms of cancer..." He stopped looking at Noah still holding the book, "sorry, by now my sister has told me to be quiet. Or one of my teachers has." Noah flipped through the pages, "no its actually interesting, opens up ideas actually..." Addison said, "ideas? Like what kind of ideas would this give someone and what would you do with them?" Noah shrugged, "I write down ideas, sometimes something totally strange will give me ideas and I'll write them down and try to make a story about them." He wasn't afraid to let people know that he wanted to be a writer, his confidence from dating Nathan and Sarah along with his English and history teachers giving him all kinds of praise had always left kind of feeling proud of what he could do and he didn't care what most people thought. The boy though said, "wow, I'd like to see that sometimes, I'm not good at writing, but I am really good at math and science. I want to go into microbiology maybe, but maybe something else too can't decide most days. You know when I get out of high school, but Alison wants me to slow down, she said that you only get to be in high school once Addy and you should enjoy it. Its not my fault that they wanted to put me in high school at twelve, they actually wanted to make me a senior but my sister insisted that they put me in the junior grade." Noah smiled a bit, it was clear that Addison was incredibly smart even just from the moment that he had met him. "Junior grade?" Addison flushed again, "sorry eleventh. You sure that I'm not boring you?" Noah shook his head, "no, so what do these same defects cause things like down syndrome or other birth defects?" Addison seemed shocked a bit when Noah asked that and he started again talking about more possible effects of the chromosome defects. The hour for lunch ended and Noah realized he had spent all of it talking with Addison. As they were standing up to go their separate ways he said, "I don't know if you could get a ride home from my house but if you'd like to I'd like to show you some of my stories..." Addison stopped looking up at Noah, he was just an inch or so below five feet and he didn't look twelve, he still looked younger than that, like Noah knew he himself had at the same age. "Y-you want me to come over? Like as a friend?" Noah shrugged, "sure, you're different, not like a lot of the other kids here, but if you don't want to..." Addison said, "no I want to. I'll ask my sister, she'll say its okay I'm sure." Noah finding that strange said, "Why do you have to get permission from your sister?" Addison shrugged, "yeah, Alison, she's my legal guardian, she's a nurse." Noah nodded and said, "well give me your number so I can text you when school lets out so you know which bus to meet me at." The boy flushed again and then gave Noah his number. At first Noah was pretty sure he was just making a friend but watching Addison as he walked away, the way the boy stopped a few times and looked back at him made Noah start to stiffen as he realized that the boy wasn't doing a friend look, he was clearly admiring Noah. That afternoon he wondered if Addison would show, and wasn't surprised when the boy did. They sat on the bus together and on the ride over to his house Noah said, "so your sister is taking care of you?" Addison nodded, "yeah, she has been since I was nine, that was when our mom died, Alison was in college at the time and she finished her nursing degree while raising me the best she could. I was a handful for our mom because I was so smart and I was worse for Alison because I liked to do things on my own and she didn't like that, she was afraid that I would do something and get myself hurt. I missed my mom a lot though, I still do sometimes and I'm talking way too much because I'm nervous." The bus stopped and Noah indicated that this was his stop, they got off and as they started the walk down towards his house he said, "why are you nervous?" Addison was quiet for a while after that then he said, "because I like you, I mean you're interested in me, you talk to me. None of the other kids in school want to be my friend they're all freaked out that a twelve year old is in eleventh grade. I just turned twelve too, a week ago. So Really I was eleven when I started. I probably won't even get to go to prom. Not that I want to, I'm pretty sure I don't." Noah laughed, "prom's not all its cracked up to be. I've been, it was fine, after Prom was special for me but that's another thing." Addison said, "oh, was it an older boy that brought you to prom?" "Why would you say that?" Addison flushed he noticed and said, "well I mean, you were watching me and I saw you look at me a few times and I might be wrong but I thought that you were trying to maybe get to know me so I just assumed that you might like boys instead of girls..." Noah said, "I don't like boys instead of girls, I like boys and girls equally." Addison nodded, "so it was a girl then?" Noah said, "yes, her name was Sarah." Surprisingly enough talking about her didn't hurt all that badly. Addison nodded, "where's Sarah now?" Noah didn't answer right away and Addison said, "sorry if that wasn't the right thing to ask." "No its fine, Sarah went off to college in Los Angeles. We decided together to stop seeing each other. Well I would have maybe wanted to try long distance but looking at it now she was right. The distance just wasn't going to work and that way we can both date other people without worrying about it. What about you?" They arrived at his house and as he stepped up onto the steps to go inside Addison stopped at the base of them and said, "I don't know, I like you, I mean you're attractive to me, but I'm pretty sure I've been attracted to girls too. I mean when I was ten I kissed and did some stuff with this girl named Anna who lived across the street, she was a few years older than me but I really liked it. Then there was Alan her big brother and well... I mean we kissed too and I wanted to do more but his mom caught us and I wasn't allowed over there anymore after that." Noah stood there was well kind of not sure how to take that all in. The boy really did have a lot to say about things. "So maybe you're bisexual... and you think I'm attractive huh?" Addison flushed then and sort of nodded. Noah led him into his house and said, "come on my room is back here." They walked to the back of the house and as Addison sat down on his bed Noah got one of his notebooks, this one without the kissing stuff in it and said, "thats just some of my stuff, I have other stuff too but its more... well erotic." He sat down next to the boy and it was almost electric. He had never met someone he was this attracted to since Nathan and then Sarah. This boy spoke to him in a way that Noah had never thought he would feel again. At least not so soon after the breakup. Addison read a little bit of one and then flipped to the others reading a bit of each. He was a fast reader. He looked up and said, "These are really good, I mean did you think up this one about the floating continent on your own?" Noah said, "Yeah I mean its based on some other stuff but most science fiction is, I'm trying to figure out how to write something more for the story, I think I might have an idea now. I want to write novels one day and..." it was about then that Addison grabbed Noah's head and pulled him down to him. It took Noah a second to realize what had happened as he tasted the younger boys lips. He had never actually kissed someone younger than him, but if he was going to it might as well as be a younger kid that was also almost a senior in high school and was clearly more mature than his twelve years of life. He pulled back and Addison said, "sorry, I thought that you liked me too..." Noah said, "I do, I just didn't expect you to want me to kiss you so soon." Addison shrugged, "I like you, I mean we probably need to get to know each other better but I still like you." Noah smiled and touched Addison's' cheek like how he had used to touch Sarah's. "I'm pretty sure I like you too." Then he leaned down again and this time Addison returned it just as feverishly as before. Noah wasn't sure how but they fell back onto the bed with the younger smaller boy under him, their lips meeting, their tongues tangled. Noah could taste apple on Addison's breath as his tongue played with the younger boys. When he felt Addison's hand sliding under his shirt, touching his stomach Noah pulled back breaking their kiss. "I think we should probably go a little slower..." Addison flushed a bit, "y-yeah..." then he swallowed and said, "I... I'm not.. I mean I've had sex before." Noah sat up fully and Addison sat up beside him as he did Noah said, "you have huh?" Addison nodded, "yeah, just with a girl, never with a boy. I've wanted to, I mean like really badly with a few boys but I never have. The girl was this summer, she was supposed to be um tutoring me in math so that I could be tested for the advanced placement classes like I wanted to be and when it became obvious that I didn't need the help well... she liked me and I mean she was only eighteen and it wasn't that bad was it? I mean I know I'm only twelve but I don't feel like I'm twelve." Noah smiled, "yeah I don't feel like I'm fifteen. I've been with both a boy and a girl, the girl was Sarah like I said and the boy was Beth's son, I guess technically my step-brother but I don't see him that way." Addison said, "who's Beth?" Noah realized that Addison didn't know anything about him just like he knew nothing about Addison. "She's my step-mom, she's raising me since my dad died." It didn't hurt all that much at all to mention his dad, not now, just a little bit. "Her son Nathan came to stay for Christmas a few years ago and we kind of fell for each other during a hard time in my life." Addison took his hand in his own and said, "that sucks, I mean loosing your dad, I still remember when my mom didn't come home back when I was nine. I mean I remember most things. I have a really good memory and I can still remember exactly what my sister was wearing that day and how my mom had hugged me that morning and reminded me for the fourth time that morning that I had math competition practice that afternoon. It really hurts sometimes to think about that stuff, but I've learned to compartmentalize it and not focus on it as much as I did when it first happened. Still Alison has been a great big sister even if she didn't plan on raising a boy before she was even done with school." He could talk, it was hard to keep track of all the stuff Addison was saying as he tried his bed to get it out. It was almost like the boy had a permanent fast forward button on his mouth, it was cute Noah decided. After a moment of silence Noah said, "it still hurts to think about my dad, he was everything to me and watching him slowly die for two months was difficult." Addison touched his hand and said, "I'm sorry." Noah said, "no its okay, I had three really great people there to help me out and I'm pretty much good now. It seems like you and your sister helped each other through it." Addison said, "yeah Alison tries her best. I don't know how I feel about Greg, thats her husband well I mean he will be in a few months. He's nice but I creep him out, I overheard him telling Alison that once, how smart I was, how much I knew about things it scared him made him uncomfortable." Noah said, "well I think its really cool that you're as smart as you are... and I like you and want to get to know you. We should go out together, go see a movie or something." Addison smiled and flushed, "I'd like that too." His sister showed up shortly after that, she looked a lot like her brother, just an older more mature female version of him. On Friday he talked with Addison at lunch again and they even met up after school before getting on their own separate buses, and agreed to go to the movies together and get lunch as well, Noah had asked Beth and she had said she would take him and a friend to the movies if they wanted to and then pick them up at the mall afterwards since the theater was inside the mall. Beth was glad that he was trying something with someone new, it had been awhile since Noah had actually met someone he was interested in. Forty-One The sound of rain hitting the window outside his window was the first thing that Addison heard as he woke up that Friday morning. It was still about an hour till the bus and he knew that his sister Alison would be by in a few minutes telling him that it was time for him to get up and get going, school wasn't going to get itself. You could have all the brains in the world he knew and love school and learning with all of your heart, that didn't make you a morning person. He groaned and tried to close his eyes and get more sleep but even as he buried his head in his pillow with the stars all over it he knew that sleep was not going to be coming back. The rain was coming a little harder outside now as he sat up on the bed and grabbed his cellphone from where it rested on the night stand. It was earlier than he thought. Alison would actually let him sleep another thirty minutes. Still now that he was awake he realized that he was a little nervous about today, it was his first day at school with a new friend. He hoped that it was more than just a friend as well honestly. Addison started thinking about Noah and realized that as he did he could feel the expected sensation in his middle, the rise of his penis in his underwear under his pajama shorts. Thursday had been a day full of unexpected things for Addison. First had been finding out that his sister was pregnant and she and Greg were going to get married and start a family. Then he had met Noah. He had seen Noah before that day, the older boy was in the school library a few times a week usually at lunch time just like Addison liked to do. He had liked Noah's choices in books as well, the other boy liked science fiction and had even read a few books from the science section where Addison was always hanging out. Addison had done what anyone who had a crush on someone would do, he had checked out some of the books that he had seen Noah reading, and found some of them to be really good science fiction books that Addison had never heard of. He realized as he lay back on his bed that he had liked Noah the second he had seen him. He hadn't known the older boys name or age until yesterday but he had admired Noah for a few weeks by then. Addison had figured out pretty early that he liked boys and girls, like most things in his life he had come to this earlier than most. He had been nine when he had figured out he liked girls and had even kissed Sandy a girl that had lived next door and was a year older than him. She had not liked him kissing her and had told him so many times after that. Still he had know that he liked girls right away. Boys came about a year later, at ten he had noticed that seeing Vance's penis had excited him in the same way that kissing Sandy had. He had even asked Vance if he could play with his stiffy which the other boy had staunchly said no that only girls could play with a boys penis. To which Addison had pointed out that boys could play with boys and he had gone onto a whole thing about sexual desires and preferences that he had read about. It had weirded Vance out to the point that Addison had been ignored by Vance ever since. So yes Addison had figured out at ten that he liked both boys and girls, though he had no idea how to deal with that stuff as neither boys nor girls liked him. For a bit there had been Anna who was a year younger than him and her big brother Alan but when he had been caught kissing Alan well that had ended all of that really fast. Alan had told him that he couldn't stay over anymore and it wasn't a good idea for them to be friends since he was so `sexual'. He was left a little ostracized by kids in his own age group. Then he had been placed in high school. Middle school just wasn't stimulating enough for him and he was testing off the charts. High school didn't work either, but putting him in as a junior was what was decided. His sister wanted him to take at least two years of high school before going to college. So at eleven nearly twelve Addison had entered into high school. As a Junior, and the kids in his classes had all pretty much freaked out when this short little kid who was twelve but looked younger even if he was on the higher end in height his face and other features looked like a boy younger than twelve. So in high school it was a little worse, he was ostracized here too by the fact that he was a kid and they were teenagers who saw a kid as strange and different. He didn't tell Alison as he didn't want her to worry about him. Addison knew that he was smarter than anyone else in his classes. Smarter than anyone else in the school including probably his teachers, but he also had no idea how to be someone. He was horrible with other people, often if he was nervous he'd just keep talking until he couldn't talk anymore or they gave him a strange look. He knew how the world worked, how sex worked and all of that. He had even had sex before, that still shocked Addison, over the summer when they had been trying to get him the right placement an older girl named Erin had come twice a week to tutor him for the placement exams. After two tutor sessions she had said that he didn't need any help from her. He had thought that was the end of it but then she had kissed him and said hew as cute and he had asked her if she had ever had sex. Of course Erin had said she had and then he had asked her if he could have sex with her since she kissed him and she had said do you want to? He had taken it as a life lesson, and it had been quite the thing. Erin had not been a virgin and he had learned later that she had done stuff with both her little brother and his friend who were both a year older than Addison himself. Still it had been nice, but he hadn't really felt anything for Erin. The experience though of knowing how girls worked had been eye opening. He was curious about other boys though, and that was why he had started watching Noah. The first time he had seen Noah at the library it had been an instant crush. The older boy had this sandy brown hair, some of the strands were lighter than the others, the way that the bangs would fall over his eyes when he leaned down to read something, how the hair curved around his ears just a bit. The boy had to be somewhere around freshman or sophomore years but he looked younger than that. His face had these light little freckles under the eyes, his lips were full and lush. Noah's eyes were so nice as well, a dark green that seemed to compliment the boys face. He was tall too, not overly tall, just tall, somewhere taller than Addison so that he'd have to look up at Noah. He was a little on the skinny side too and though Addison was skinny he wasn't as much skin and bones as Noah, but he didn't mind that Noah was that skinny. So for a few weeks now he had been kind of following Noah or noticing him around the school. He hadn't known the older boys name though until Thursday. He hadn't planned on their meeting, he had actually been looking up stuff after his biology teacher had talked about chromosomes and he had gotten curious. Then Noah had kind of fallen on him and sat down across from him and Addison had gotten so nervous that he had started talking about chromosomes pretty sure that within minutes Noah would be gone. Instead he had stayed and talked more with Addison, and shown an interest in what he was talking about. He had even told Noah that he wanted to go into microbiology which he did, but he didn't. He might change his mind again, he did that a lot when school was concerned. He just knew that he loved science and he wanted to do something in science but he didn't know what he wanted to do. Still talking with Noah for that full hour had been something, and then Noah had invited him back to his house. To see his writings. Which it turned out were pretty good. Noah clearly had a lot of ideas and he was so very handsome and well Addison got the feeling that Noah was looking at him and Noah didn't seem to care if he was twelve and so Addison had just done it. He had kissed Noah and kissing Noah was like ten times better than kissing Erin because he really liked Noah and with Erin he had just been curious how things worked. Now it was Friday morning and Addison was aware that he was excited to see Noah again. Best of all he knew the boys name now and after the day before with the kiss and all of the talking and Noah not being turned off by any of it well it just made Addison even more anxious about it all. Learning that Noah was like him, also into both boys and girls was a little exciting as well. He could tell that Noah was more experienced in things as well. He wanted to ask Noah all kinds of things, and get to know Noah it was exciting realizing that someone liked him back just like he liked them. So he got out of bed and looked down at the tent that had been made in his pajamas and smiled a bit as he touched it thinking about Noah and kissing him had been enough to make that happen. Then Addison jumped when a knock came to his bedroom door. "Come on Addy time to get up for school!" Addison ran to the door pulling it open just a bit to stick his head out, the last thing he needed was Alison to see his erection in his pajamas shorts. "I'm up I'll be out in a moment." Alison nodded at him and then he closed the door. Lately that had been happening a lot more, just thinking about something would make it pop up. Addison had read all kinds of biology stuff, things about reproduction and sex and everything. He knew that he was on the verge of puberty, just a bit below it but the hormones were already starting to circulate through his system and drive his desires. Mostly though he was able to control it and not think about it. He did find a lot of girls and some boys at the high school nice to look at besides Noah, but Noah was the first one that had actually seemed interested in him as well. So that helped inform on his crush even more. Addison dressed for school, putting on his jeans and one of his random tee-shirts. He didn't know what Noah liked other than science fiction so it was hard to say how much in common they would have. That didn't stop Addison from wanting to get to know Noah. The teenage boy interested him because he hadn't run for the hills when Addison had started talking like a crazy person. In the kitchen he ate his cereal and grabbed his lunch from his sister putting it in his backpack and Greg who was getting ready for work came in and kissed Alison before she took him to school, telling Addison at the same time to knock them dead. He liked Greg he supposed, he barely knew him really but the fact that Greg wanted to marry his sister and also didn't mind helping her raise him were things in the plus column for Addison. He knew that Alison hadn't planned on raising her little brother when she was twenty-three, still she had done a great job helping him and being there for him when their mom died. Addison had never known his dad, his mom had decided to have him but the man that had made him she hadn't wanted to keep in her life. He had talked to his biological dad once and well understood why his mom didn't want the man in her life. Alison last year had won sole custody of him essentially adopting her little brother as his legal guardian. Alison drove him to school and when they got there Addison said, "Um if Noah wants me to go over to his house again this afternoon could I?" Alison looked over at him, "of course you can, but you know if you're going to have a friend I'm going to need to meet them right?" He doubted that Alison was aware of his sexual preference. Still she might think that he's into boys, it was possible. She had no idea that three months ago Erin the high school senior she had hired to tutor him had taken his virginity. Addison said, "I know Alison, we're going to the movies on Saturday and Noah's mom is going to pick me up so you can meet him and her then if that's okay?" Alison agreed and he got out of the car. School was strange, being so small compared to all of the other kids in high school still left him feeling like he was odd man out. As he was walking towards his first period though he was surprised when he saw Noah. That was another thing that he had noticed about Noah, he was usually alone, sometimes a big mountain of a guy and a girl were with him but usually it was just Noah. Like he didn't have many friends and honestly Addison couldn't see how he didn't have a lot of friends, he was so very good looking, but yesterday talking with Noah he had gotten the sense that Noah was a little awkward too, and had never had the need to make a lot of friends. He walked over to where Noah was, afraid that the older boy wouldn't want to be seen with him in public. Instead when Noah saw him he smiled and said, "did your sister say it was okay about going to the movies on Saturday?" Addison said, "yeah she said I could but you have to meet her first on Saturday so I was thinking when you and your mom pick me up that we could introduce you." He felt kind of dumb saying that as yesterday Noah had said that Beth wasn't his mom. Instead Noah ignored that and said, "yeah we could do that. You want to meet in the library for lunch?" Addison nodded and Noah said, "cool I've got first period in the computer lab so I'll see you at lunch." When his hand rested on Addison's shoulder for a second he wondered and hoped that Noah's attraction for him was as real as his own. He didn't know a lot about Noah, only that his interest was the same as his own, both boys and girls. When he had first realized that he liked both Addison had consumed countless of books on the subject to understand it, and be less confused by his feelings. The books had just made him a bit more confused because he realized that it didn't help him interact with others any better and just left him at eleven with more desires than he knew what to do with. At lunch he felt nervous again that maybe Noah wouldn't be in the library but then there he was sitting at one of the tables and when Addison sat down across from him Noah looked up from the book he had been reading. Addison felt nervous again looking at Noah. The other day when he had kissed him it had been a sheer act of desperation to show Noah that he liked him, and that was why he was talking so much. He still didn't feel all that comfortable now he realized. He didn't know how to start a conversation or anything like that. Erin had been easy she had just wanted to touch him in his bedroom and then eventually have sex with him. This boy clearly wanted to get to know him and Addison wasn't sure if he could actually do that or not. He didn't know if he was interesting, he was pretty sure that he wasn't. His mind would just go all over the place sometimes. Noah though started things off which made him relax a little, "so Addison just how smart are you?" Addison flushed a bit, "um what do you mean?" Noah said, "well I mean like your IQ? I'm sure you've taken those kinds of tests." Addison said, "well yeah but they're not the be all judge on how smart someone is, not really. They just measure how well you retain and gather knowledge. Though I've taken some other tests as well that do more than that. Accordingly if you want to know though I'm higher than Einstein but not as smart as say Ainan Cawley. My score though was 218 but its the other things that I tested on that made them want to put me at eleventh grade." Noah said, "Okay I don't know what that number means, but being smarter than Einstein must mean that you're like already ready to be an adult or something right?" Addison shook his head, "no, I mean, it doesn't work that way. IQ and maturity are two different things. Just because someone's smart doesn't mean that they're mature about it. When they found out how good I was at taking in new material and learning things and applying them that was also when I started asking questions and trying to understand a lot more than what was in front of me. I don't know how mature I am, but I know that most kids my age, around our ages don't sit around and debate what it all means. Another misconception about smart people is that because I'm so smart and focused on school that I don't want friends or don't want to date or have those kinds of feelings and thoughts. Maybe if I was nine and in high school I wouldn't want to but I'm going through all of the same thing that boys my age go through. The same things I'm sure you went through too." He stopped talking realizing that he had been talking far too much. Noah said, "yeah, I could see that being true. So do you often talk in long paragraphs?" Addison felt his cheeks go red and he said, "sorry... when I get nervous or excited I sometimes just keep talking... and if you want me to stop...." Noah shook his head and smiled a bit, "no way, I like it. You said yesterday that you have a photographic memory? Does that mean that you could see things when you close your eyes?" Addison shook his head, "No I don't have a photographic memory, I have hyperthymesia, its total recall memory, its different than photographic memory. I can remember pretty much every moment of my life in really big detail from around when I turned nine, but not like how you see a photograph. Its hard to describe it, I could tell you what I ate for breakfast a week ago, eggs with toast no butter but grape jelly, I can even remember the taste because Alison burnt the toast a little bit. But I can't actually see the moment, just its stored there in my head." Noah studied him for a moment then said, "so yesterday, when we kissed, you can remember that whole thing in full detail?" Addison flushed this time almost to his ears he felt it. "Yes, you tasted like peppermint and your lips were soft and gentle and I wanted to kiss you more and well.. there's more but I'd rather not talk about it." Mainly because even thinking about it was making him start to stiffen. Noah swallowed and said, "wow, thats kind of crazy." Addison said, "yeah... does that make you not like me anymore?" Noah shook his head, "no it makes me even more interested in you. You're different than anyone I know and that's quite interesting. I haven't wanted to get to know someone since Sarah left and well I want to get to know you and if you like boys and I like boys then we should see if we like each other." Addison said, "but you don't only like boys." Noah said, "no I like both." Addison nodded, "I do too, but I don't know how to deal with it, I mean I don't know how I feel about it. Reading about it, trying to understand what it means didn't work and usually reading about things and what others thoughts on things are help me a lot, but this time it just left me more confused." Noah smiled a bit, "well we could figure it out together then. I mean I already kind of know what I feel and how I feel and I'll let you know about my experiences with both Sarah and Nathan, as long as you're not going to judge what happened based upon our ages." Addison thought about that then said, "I wouldn't, I mean Erin was eighteen when she took my virginity, I really liked it too but I didn't have any real feelings for her other than sexual desire. I mean seeing her naked, feeling her touching me, well..." He stopped realizing that he was sort of turning himself on thinking about that again. Noah said, "we'll talk more about it on Saturday..." Just as the bell rang. "I can't hang out this afternoon, I've got to go with Beth my step-mom to a fund raiser thing her company is doing that I agreed to help out at. So I'll text you later tonight and we can work out what movie we want to see and when we come to pick you up so I can meet your sister too right?" As the stood up Addison said, "yes that sound great. We could go see that movie Inverse that's out, its science fiction and I've heard its pretty good." Noah said, "it is, we could do that, I don't mind seeing it again." Addison smiled glad that they made that decision. The rest of the day of school went a lot faster, in-between his next period and the last he ate his sandwich and chips from his lunch bag. That night Noah texted him and they agreed to meet at Addison's house at noon and he gave Noah the address so that his step-mom could come with him to pick Addison up. Suddenly he was nervous all over again, but in a very good way. He made a promise to himself that he would try to not talk Noah's ear off too. A promise that he would probably forget right away... Thirty-Two. Not since first meeting Sarah or Nathan had Noah felt this way about someone. Instantly the first time had really talked with Addison he had felt an attraction for the boy. It was more than his looks, though the twelve year old looked very beautiful. His light blonde hair was thick and went almost to his shoulders, he had the darkest blue eyes that Noah had ever seen and though he was short Noah had been there himself at twelve and still below five feet. The biggest difference was that Addison was already in high school. Noah was shocked by that, the boy was so smart that honestly Noah didn't know if he could keep up or not, but he did know he wanted to find out as he very much liked Addison and not just for his looks. Saturday morning when Noah woke up his first thought wasn't that Sarah was gone or that Nathan was either. He knew that both were a phone call or text away and either one of them would help him even if one of them wasn't currently talking to him as it was too hard he knew that she'd be there in a second if he was really hurt or something horrible had happened. Still for the first time he woke up in the morning wanting instead to think about someone new, a boy named Addison. Noah ate breakfast, making his own cereal and then went for a walk like he did most mornings and then he took a shower and got dressed. By the time he was dressed Beth was up and eating her own breakfast. When he came into the kitchen she smiled and said, "well someone looks happy this morning." Noah kissed her cheek and hugged he as he said, "I am, I mean I actually feel really good." Beth said, "So I'm meeting this friend of yours sister today when I drop you off?" "Yes." Noah sat down at the table next to her, he had never told Beth about his bisexuality and he wasn't sure if he should or not. At least not yet. Maybe one day he would but right now he would just focus on him and Addison being friends before breaching that whole subject. He was actually a little afraid of letting her know because she might start to look at his and Nathan's relationship all different and he didn't want Nathan to get into trouble with his mom. Sometimes he regretted getting that close with Nathan, not because it had been wrong or felt wrong or any of that. No all of his times with Nathan and any in the future would all be wonderful. The regret came from the fact that if Nathan's mom Beth, if she found out what her son and his then twelve year old step-brother had done with each other shortly after Noah's dad had passed. Well she'd probably disown Nathan or something like that and he didn't want Nathan and Beth to not have each other when they loved each other so much. Beth walking to the sink with her bowl said, "I'm glad you've made a friend, you need something to take your focus off of Sarah. I know its hard with her gone for you..." Noah said, "I don't think I'm the only one its been hard on..." Beth sat down close to him again and said, "I'm sure its been hard on Sarah too sweetie but she's not the one I am concerned with. She left you, didn't even want to try long distance..." Noah went over the small pause, "I didn't either, she was right it would have been a disaster. We both would have met someone else and then broken each others hearts. This way.. there's always a chance that we find each other again or at least we get to remain friends which I want and I know she wants too." Beth nodded and gently took his hand as she said, "you're a strong kid Noah, but I know how badly her leaving hurt you." Noah nodded a bit as well and then Beth said, "But you might be right, the two of you might end up together in the end anyway, crazier things have happened. Nathan's dad and I met, dated, broke up, met again a few years later and got married. Anything can happen its a pretty crazy world.." Noah said, "yeah it is." Beth stood up, "I'm going to get dressed and we'll go meet your friends family, why again are we meeting his big sister?" "She's his legal guardian, his mom died a few years ago..." Beth nodded she hugged him a bit and then walked out of the kitchen. Three years ago Noah's dad had died, during that same year he realized just now Addison had lost his mom as well. That was a strange parallel the two of them loosing parents around the same time. A strange sad one really. Noah checked himself over in the bathroom mirror one more time before being ready to go. The drive to Addison's' house was not a long one, they went to the same high school so he did live pretty close. It was on a day like today about a fifteen minute drive in the city, on a weekday he could see it taking thirty minutes like it did to get from Sarah's house to his. Addison's house was a one story like Noah's own, but it wasn't the same design. In fact if he had to guess there was probably four bedrooms to this one story house. It was long going back like a huge rectangle. Beth got out of the car with him, in another year Noah would be driving and the second car, the one that had once belonged to his dad and that Nathan sometimes used when he was in town would go to Noah, Beth had already told him. He got good grades, he didn't hang with a bad crowd, she saw no reason to not get him a license and a car. The front door was opened by a man who was about as tall as Noah himself, just a hair taller perhaps than Noah's now five foot eight inches. As the door was opened Addison came around from the side of the door and seeing him, Noah did feel his desire return. He wasn't sure if others would find this blonde boy who had a far too girlish face, with really fair features to be sexy but Noah sure did. The way that his light blonde hair flowed straight down but was falling in front of one of his eyes that he pushed back, those deep dark blue eyes, that small but up turned nose. He was about average in height for twelve, like Noah had been at the same age. It was hard though to tell how tall Addison would actually get. "I've got it Greg." Addison said as he came over dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt that had a funny meme word play on e=mc2 with Einstein on it with his tongue sticking out. The guy Greg said, "good, I've got to get to work, Ali I'm leaving and that other kid is here!" He called out to the back before saying, "excuse me." They let him pass as he headed down to his car and was soon pulling away as Addison let them in. Noah said, "This is Beth my step-mom." He had never actually told someone that, well other than Sarah, he still didn't feel right calling Beth, mom, it was just difficult to do though he did think of her as his mom. He figured it might because he called her Beth for so long. He had talked with her about it once and she had just told him that regardless of rather he ever did or not she was still going to love him and take care of him. That had almost made him able to, but a part of him was still not comfortable with it yet. Addison held out his hand and said, "hi, I'm Addison, but my sister always calls me Addy." Beth shook his hand and the boy sort of flushed a bit and then his sister came into the room. Alison was definitely Addison's sister, she had the same light blonde hair, the same very feminine features. She was just at five and a half feet, he knew that because she was about the same height as Beth. Beth still shaking Addison's hand said, "well its nice to meet you Addison." Alison stepping up put one of her hands on Addison's shoulder and said, "so you must be Noah? And his mom?" Addison said, "step-mom." Alison squeezed his shoulder a bit and then said, "yes, I wanted to meet you because Addy hasn't stopped talking about Noah for the past two days and he never talks about someone else. So you two are going to the movies and lunch? I gave Addison some money to pay for his own part, and when will you be back?" Noah said, "I'm not sure, what time would you want us back?" She was studying him, sizing him up almost as if she knew that it was more than a friendship. Noah had never gone out with someone younger than him, but Addison wasn't really younger, he was age wise but not maturity wise. In fact in regards to maturity and intelligence he might already be an adult, well other than experience. "That's up to your step-mom, I'd prefer before ten tonight but I'm willing to leave that and sleep overs up to your decisions um Beth was it?" Beth said, "I think we should leave it up to the two of them honestly, but I will be sure to have Addy home before ten tonight unless something changes." Noah looked at Addison who sort of flushed a bit. What exactly had Addison told his sister that they were doing? He was sure he'd figure it out once they were alone together. They left a moment after that and as they were walking to the car behind Beth, Addison said, "I told Ali, well I mean I asked her that if she liked you and your step-mom that I might stay over tonight. If not though..." Noah shook his head and interuppted, "No I'd like that too, I haven't had a sleepover in a long time." Addison smiled big and seemed happy by that result. Noah had no idea what was going on, how clearly Addison was playing things into his own favor. They were clearly not going to be just friends. In the car as they were heading towards the theater Beth said, "so Addison what grade are you in?" Addison looked up from where he had been looking down at his and Noah's hands. Noah had wanted to hold Addison's hand so he had. "I'm in eleventh, but only because my sister didn't want me to be a senior. Honestly some of the teachers at school and even some of the colleges that want me all said that I should just skip it but Alison wants me to have some kind of a normal high school experience, told me I shouldn't want to grow up so fast." Beth from up front said, "that's probably a good thing, you should experience things, don't grow up too fast. Its what I tell Noah and Nathan both all the time. What do you want to do when you go to college?" Addison said, "oh right now I want to do microbiology but if you asked my sister she'd say I have no idea. I do keep changing it, I'll read up on something and start to get really interested in it and start to think that maybe I want to do that instead. All I know for sure is that it will be something within the fields of human study, I like the idea of finding things that could help or cure problems that either we cause to ourselves or our environment does." Beth said, "Nathan, my other son," that made Noah feel really warm inside hearing Beth refer to him as one of her sons, "is going to school to be a doctor and already shows a lot of passion and talent for it. This one here wants to be a writer and is quite talented at it as well." Noah felt a small flush at that and Addison said, "I know, he showed me they're really good." He didn't stay on that subject though, "what kind of doctor is Nathan going to school to become?" Noah realized that he had never asked Nathan what field he was looking to study in so Beth's information was new to him, "He's going into emergency medicine, but he's still got a few more years left of school before he even starts his residency." It was about then that they arrived at the mall area. Noah said, "Um Beth could you drop us off at Papa's Pizza Tavern, its across from the mall and we can walk over there once we're done with lunch." He knew that it was the place that he and Sarah had gone on their first date and it was strange taking another first date there but he liked the food. They had gone to it a few other times after that first date. Maybe he'd just take all of his first dates here from now on. Beth told them to have fun and that she'd pick them up after the movie which it should let out at four thirty. As they walked inside Addison said, "why did you want to do this place?" Noah shrugged, "They have good food, um if you like pizza. I didn't even ask I should have asked." "Its okay Noah, I like pizza." Noah said, "I just thought that maybe you'd like on top of being really smart and all that be a vegan or something..." Addison shrugged, "I don't see the benefit, I try to eat healthy but I also like meat and vegans are so pretentious, who knows for sure if plants don't have feelings too? There's this new study out right now that some scientists are working on.." Noah interrupted him, "hold that thought, lets order pizza first and then sit down and we'll talk then?" Addison nodded and Noah was worried that he was offended but instead he just seemed to take it in stride. They ordered together working out quickly that they wanted a supreme but with no olives or onions. Then as they sat down Addison said, "the scientist have found that when some plants are torn from the ground or chopped up while alive still that they feel what's happening to them. Some plants even try to move or something like that to get away from the predator that's eating them. Its why some plants develop protections and such. So really plants are alive too, the best solution is to do things humanely. Even that's difficult with over population and our need to consume.. and I am talking way too much about something you probably have no interest in." Noah shrugged a bit, "I'm not sure if I am or not, its difficult to say I am a little distracted..." Addison said, "you are?" Noah felt a small heat go to his cheeks, "yes, when you talk about something you're passionate about your eyes light up really big and well you have nice eyes... and then I started thinking that you want to stay over and I don't know where that goes..." Addison flushed and just then the pizza came as the guy left Addison said, "I like you too and I'm talking so much because I'm nervous but also because you let me, Ali usually stops me, and Greg will just walk out of the room if I keep going on about something for too long. I didn't think anything would happen if we had a sleepover, I mean we barely know each other. I just thought it might be nice to make out or something. I'm curious about what its like with a boy, I've only ever been with a girl." Noah eating his piece of pizza said, "I've been with both, its not all that different honestly, not when you care about or really like someone. Its just an expression of those feelings." Addison said, "that was Sarah and Nathan right? I'm guessing that your step-mom doesn't know about you and Nathan?" Noah smiled a bit, "no, she has no idea. She knows about Sarah because we were really dating for nearly three years." Addison stopped mid second bite, "wait you were dating Sarah for three years? So you and Sarah started seeing each other when you were twelve and she's in college? So she was fifteen, or sixteen when you met?" Noah nodded, "yeah she was, I've only ever been with both of them. I mean there was a boy named Danny that I did some stuff with before things in my life changed, and a girl named Hayley too but they weren't anything compared to Nathan and Sarah." Addison said, "that's pretty different. I mean I figured you had started dating Sarah in your freshman year of school or something, not that you had been with her when you were still in middle school." Noah shrugged, "I met her and Nathan both right around when my dad passed, they were there for me when I needed them and we got really close. I've always liked older boys and girls..." Addison said, "yeah, I couldn't see myself with someone younger than me, or even my own age, but you know I'm younger than you." Noah said, "are you? I mean physically you are, but are you really?" Addison thought about that for a moment then said, "no I suppose not. You know um Erin she liked that I was eleven but also not eleven. When she learned that I wanted to know about sex it excited her. I'm still not sure how it all happened, and we only did things twice before I decided that I wasn't all that interested in her personally. Not that I didn't like girls, because I really liked looking at her and doing things with her but she wasn't interesting. You're interesting." Noah felt his cheeks heat a bit and he said, "see its things like that which make me think that you're not twelve, also I have no idea why you think I'm interesting, I'm not smart like you no where near that level." Addison shrugged, "you're creative, different, you talk with me, you seem interested in the things that I talk about, and when I go off on something you don't seem to get bored about it..." Noah shrugged too, "you're cute, and I like hearing your voice its... nice." Looking at Addison he could feel himself getting uncomfortable suddenly. Addison shifted a bit in his own seat and said, "yeah, you are too. You're not like I thought you might be..." Noah smiled a bit and said, "what do you mean by that?" Addison flushed, "n-nothing..." "Come on Addison..." He sighed, "well I'd kind of been following you around a bit at school. I saw you in the library one day about a month ago and you were reading and you didn't seem to have friends or even care and I thought you were really cute and I knew that I liked boys and girls but I was too afraid to walk up to you and ask you if I could get to know you or something like that.... So when you almost stepped on me by accident it was well nice." Noah definitely had an issue now in his pants. "You were following me around? You thought I was cute?" Addison shrugged, "sure, you don't think you're cute?" Noah sighed, "its not that, its that you thinking I'm cute creates a problem as I think that you're cute too and now I don't know what's going to happen if you do stay over at my house..." Addison flushed, "we could make a deal, like nothing more than making out?" Noah laughed, but he realized that he was interested in doing at least that. "Okay, that's the deal we'll make then." After that they finished the pizza and made it over to the theater just in time for the movie to start. Yeah he had a feeling looking at Addison while they ate that he was going to break that promise faster than he did with Sarah or Nathan. He was also pretty positive that this was passion like with Nathan, not something deeper and long lasting, but sometimes passion was nice too. Thirty Three. In the theater Addison and Noah sat right by each other. At first Addison was nervous and when Noah put the armrest up he was even more nervous but when Noah put his arm around Addison's shoulders in the dark theater he felt wonderful. Of course for the first part of the movie he was distracted by his own thoughts about how nice it felt with Noah's arm around his shoulder. They had talked for quite a while at the pizza place and he was starting to kind of understand Noah a lot better, but his biggest shock was that Noah actually was interested in the things he talked about. At about an hour into the movie he actually rested more against Noah, honestly he didn't care what other people in the theater thought about two boys snuggled together, he had never cared about being out or not. He knew that he liked both and he had just met someone who was the same way as him and that kind of fascinated him. Addison tried really hard to be twelve sometimes, but he found tings that other kids his age, even most high school kids talked about or did boring. He wanted to be in school, he wanted to be in college honestly, and he wanted to know all kinds of things and study all kinds of things. Honestly the last thing he should have been thinking about was sex with all the other stuff that was stuffed up in his far too complex brain, but it was all he could think about sometimes, especially when he was looking at Noah. The thought of kissing Noah, of doing more than that he had actually had a dream about it last night. He could still remember every detail of his moments with Erin, she had been really good about teaching him about girls those two times, but he hadn't found her interesting other than how nice she looked. Noah though, he was so very interesting. Addison wasn't sure where it would go, he was intrigued to meet Nathan too, Noah's older step-brother. He had seen a picture of Nathan he could remember now on one of the walls in the hallway and he looked every bit as handsome as Noah. Plus he was going to school to be a doctor and Addison figured that it might be interesting to talk to someone who was going to be a doctor. He wanted to be with Noah though right now, not anyone else. After the movie they walked a bit through the mall and Addison noticed that Noah didn't let go of his hand when he held it at one point. Something was happening here that Addison had never felt before, something more than desire, but he wasn't sure what it would be yet. He had texted his sister and let her know that he was going to stay over at Noah's and she had been fine with that as long as Beth, Noah's step-mom was. Which it turned out she was as well. They were in Noah's room after getting back to the house and he was sitting on the bed and Noah was next to him both of them uncertain what to say or do. Addison just wasn't the kind of person that waited around for things to resolve themselves. He liked to take action and that was what made him decide to just stand up before Noah and lean in to kiss him. Standing before him they were the same height and it was easy to lean over and kiss Noah. Noah's lips were soft and wonderful, his breath still tasted of pizza and soda. Addison felt himself falling back onto the bed on top of Noah, the two of them kissing even more now. Their tongues beginning to tangle. He was about a foot shorter than Noah but laying on the bed like this they were at the same level, his crotch and Noah's rested together through their jeans and it took Addison a second to realize what he was feeling but when he realized what it was he pulled back from Noah, sitting up, slipping off of the teenager. Noah wanted to say something but Addison reached down and started to undo Noah's jeans. Noah put his hand on Addison's, "What are you doing?" Addison shrugged, "I wanted to see it, we're not going to stop liking each other, I don't see a reason to wait... I mean I'm not ready for you to put it in me but I do want to see it, unless you don't want me to." Noah started laughing and Addison felt confusion until Noah saw him looking confused and said, "its just, okay so I sort of did something similar to Nathan, three years ago, I kind of wanted to move things really quickly and he stopped and slowed us down and I think this might be revenge for that." Addison smiled a bit and then put his hand on the button of Noah's jeans. "Maybe but its not like you're inexperienced and I'm inexperienced. We've both been with people before." He got the button undone and noticed that Noah had stopped fighting him about it. He was curious as he had been laying on Noah it had been clear that he was bigger and thicker than Addison himself. He got the zipper down and was pulling the jeans open when he saw Noah inside of his boxer-briefs. The boxer-briefs were a deep blue and the shape of Noah's erect bulge was obvious to Addison's eyes. He had seen an older girl naked two times, he had seen a boy of twelve naked more times than he could count (himself) but he had never seen an older boy naked. Noah didn't stop him when he reached out and touched it through the underwear. Noah was big, and throbbing a bit within the underwear. Addison realized that he was hard too. He started to pull at Noah's underwear, and the teenager didn't stop him as he pulled it down and his penis popped out. Noah sat up on the bed and the head sort of rested against his belly. It was about six inches, give or take, thick enough that fully hard the skin on the head was pulled back a bit in that regard it was kind of like Addison's own as he was uncut as well. There was no hair but Addison could tell that Noah shaved and he figured that maybe the boy didn't like the feel of pubic hair. Noah didn't stop him when he reached over and put his hand around it, the penis felt like his own in a lot of ways, well it was bigger obviously but it was also nice in his fingers. He ran his hand along the length of it, stroking, pulling the skin back and revealing the entire head. He thought about stopping himself, that they were going well beyond just making out. Yet seeing it, seeing Noah hard was too much of a temptation. Erin had sucked him, he could remember what she had done as if it had been yesterday with his detailed memory. He leaned down and ran his tongue over the head of Noah's penis. Noah said, "whoa um Addison lets..." He pushed his lips down on the head and as he started to draw it in Noah pulled him back up and off, "slow down a bit." Addison looked up at him. In his own pants his penis was so hard that he wanted to get it out now. Even that brief moment had turned him on so much. He had never realized that sucking on a penis would make him so hard. He said, "sorry.. I just.. I really like you and I want to do it." Noah said, "yeah well I really like you too Addison and I guess if you're okay with it I'd like to see you too." Addison flushed, "I'm a lot smaller..." Noah laughed again and said, "Oh am I going to have to hear every single thing I ever said to Nathan repeated back to me again?" Addison shrugged and Noah said, "trust me Addison, I don't care how big or small you are..." Addison said, "I figured, but I just wanted to let you know, but if you want to..." He started to undo is own jeans but Noah stopped him putting his hands on there instead. Addison watched how Noah's penis twitched as he undid Addison's jeans and pulled them open. They slipped down to his ankles as he stood there before Noah. Addison wore briefs that were a dark red and Noah didn't waste time, he just pulled them down and Addison popped out. He knew that he was only three inches hard, he had measured it when he had started studying how his own body worked. It was the same reason why he had tried putting fingers in his bottom or one time a marker because he was curious how that worked and felt and had really liked it though he wasn't going to tell Noah that just yet. Noah touched him, his fingers circling around it and pulled at the skin, drawing it down until his head popped out. Addison knew that he had a long foreskin but it could be pulled back all the way and the head did pop out. When Noah leaned down and licked the head with his tongue Addison breathed in heavily. Erin had done this really well but as Noah started to push down on him, drawing him into his mouth fully the sensation was even better. Noah moved back on the bed and said, "here, we could suck each other..." It was clear now that both of them were letting their desires consume one another. He got the sense of what Noah wanted to do right away, he had seen a book on sexual positions once and this was one of those ones that people really liked to try. He moved on top of Noah, after they both took off their jeans and underwear. He climbed on top and Noah guided him down to his mouth, when he felt Noah's lips slip over the head of his penis he breathed in and leaned down to see Noah's own. The larger penis sliding into his mouth was wonderful. He pushed his lips down over it, sliding his tongue along the length, before again pushing down onto it. Noah was sucking on him now too, their mouths working on each other. Addison slipped his mouth off of Noah and said, "you can use your fingers too if you want." * So this was what it had been like for Nathan, sucking on a preteen boys penis. That was the first thought that Noah had as he pulled Addison's penis into his mouth. Addison was smaller than Noah himself had been at the same age. When he had first seen it he had been uncertain about continuing this. Not that it made Addison look too young or any of that, but that he was afraid of messing things up for him and Addison. Yet seeing Addison all he could think about was how he wanted to suck on the boy's pole. He had not wanted to be with a boy he had always figured that he'd go for older men but here was a boy that fascinated him and his little erection was just adding to that fascination. So Noah had suggested the sixty-nine and when Addison had been up for it he had been thrilled the feeling of sucking on Addison as he sucked on Noah was wonderful. He had done this with Nathan and Sarah both a few times, and it was a new experience with Addison and while that brought the excitement that it was Addison he still wasn't sure what that would all entail in the future. The boys penis was so stiff and as he sucked on it he could feel the warmth that radiated from it. Then Addison told him he could put his fingers in his ass and Noah almost groaned in pleasure at the thought. He had done that with Nathan, he had even put himself inside of Nathan last Christmas but that had just been a one time try of something and it had felt nice but this was a whole new level, this was a new boy someone that Noah had never been with before. As he sucked all of the three inches of Addison into his mouth Noah moved his hand around the boy's back, sliding his fingers into the younger boys bottom. As he slipped in he was surprised to find Addison was mailable, as if the boy had done this before. That was even more of a turn on. He could feel Addison now, his hand was holding Noah's length, his mouth on the head, his other hand stroking Noah's balls. Noah was close to cumming now, as his own fingers pushed into Addison's bottom even more. The feeling of it squeezing on his fingers shocked Noah, the boy was clearly close to his own orgasm as he continued to suck harder on Noah's penis. "If you keep doing that Addison I'm going to cum..." Hearing the words come out of his mouth, the same ones that Nathan had given him almost made him laugh again. The boy either didn't hear or didn't care. He was humming on Noah's penis, his mouth sucking, his fingers of both hands stroking the shaft and balls. Noah began sucking harder on Addison's penis as he did he pushed up into the boys mouth just a bit and unloaded. He tired to stop it a little afraid that Addison wouldn't want him to cum in the boys mouth but unable to stop it from happening. As he came he felt Addison's little penis jerking in his mouth and the way his bottom constricted around Noah's fingers was all he need to know that Addison had cum as well. * It was the most incredible feeling in the world, having someone else other than him push their fingers into his bottom also while they sucked on his penis. He wasn't worried at all about his size anymore, clearly Noah didn't care. So that made Addison not care either. Erin hadn't cared, in fact him being small had thrilled her. He didn't get that sense from Noah. He was pretty sure that Noah would want him even if he had been bigger and the same age as Noah. Noah wasn't into it for sex with a preteen, just like apparently Nathan hadn't been with Noah. When it happened, when Noah shot his load into Addison's mouth he was a little scared at first, but then the thrill of the fact that he had made Noah cum was amazing. He loved feeling the surge of it as it shot more of Noah's stuff into his mouth. He swallowed once he realized that was what he had to do. Meanwhile making Noah cum had made Addison himself cum and though he didn't have stuff yet he loved the feeling of orgasm as it washed over him. He rolled off of Noah laying on the bed beside him both of them breathing heavily having accomplished their desire. After a bit they both got dressed and just before Beth called them for dinner too. That night they lay in Noah's bed together, both of them naked. It felt wonderful and daring to sleep naked with another boy. He thought about asking if they could go all the way but he was afraid to do that too fast. They had awhile to get that far.... Thirty Four Things went faster with Addison than they had with either Nathan or Sarah. Part of it was that clearly Addison was ready for all of this and Noah already been through it as well. Another part of it was that both of them desired to be with one another. Noah wouldn't have said it was love, he liked Addison a lot and had a lot of complex feelings for him, but it was closer to his feelings for Nathan than his feelings for Sarah. It was strange for Noah to realize that he had real feelings for Addison but he was pretty sure that they weren't a forever thing. Actually over the next few days as he got to know Addison more as they hung out after school and during school, made out some, did more sixty-nine it became obvious that he knew the person that Addison was perfect for he just didn't know how that person was going to handle meeting Addison or a relationship with him since he had just barely handled one with Noah. After two weeks of dating and spending most of their time together one afternoon as they were sitting on Noah's front porch Addison said, "I want you to be my first." It took Noah a minute to realize what Addison was telling him, that he wanted him to be the first to put it inside of Addison. They had just been sitting there talking about nothing in particular and then Addison just goes and changes the subject like that. "I... you want me to be your first like right now?" Addison shrugged, "well I mean.. maybe not right now but tonight? Beth is going to be gone till late tonight and I'm staying over... but if not..." Noah shook his head and pulled Addison over to him, kissing him on the front porch. He didn't care if his neighbors saw, they were both underage boys and only two and a half years separated them in age. "I want to as well, I was just afraid that you might not be ready for it, its only been a couple of weeks..." Addison smiled his face inches from Noah's, "I'm not the kind of boy that likes to wait Noah." Noah smiled too and pulled back a bit taking Addison's hand in his own, "well then why wait." He stood up and pulled Addison with him, in his jeans Noah could feel his penis throbbing now with his desire. He might not fully love Addison but he sure as hell desired him, and in a way he did love him, he loved him as he did Nathan, not quite as much as he loved Sarah but still more than he loved anyone else in the world. They didn't talk as they walked into his bedroom, Addison kicking the door closed behind him as Noah pulled the younger boy into his embrace. They kissed, their tongues seeking one another as they fell back onto the bed with Addison on top of Noah. The reversal of this scene was not lost on Noah, his one memories of being the smaller boy on top of the large crept up as he ran his hands down over Addison's body while the younger boy hungrily devoured his tongue into his own mouth. He could feel Addison pressed to him, aware that the boy was stiff in his jeans every bit as much as Noah himself was. He ran his hands down Addison's back finding the boys bottom through his jeans, squeezing on it as he twisted with Addison dropping the boy onto his back on the bed. Noah pulled at Addison's shirt as he sat up a bit, dragging it up over the boys head, leaning down and pushing his mouth onto one of the boy's nipples. Addison's fingers were in Noah's hair as he pushed down further on the smaller boy's body, like this their size difference was a little obvious but that was immaterial to Noah as he moved his lips down slowly on Addison, sliding down further over the boys flat stomach. His tongue gently played with Addison's' belly button as his fingers ran over the boys jeans finding the button and undoing it. He pulled Addison's jeans open, pulling them down the boys skinny legs and tossing them to the floor as his fingers ran over the shape of Addison in his briefs. Noah leaned down, kissing the tip of the penis through the boys briefs, his tongue sliding over the length of it before he pulled at the briefs and got them down and off. Noah leaned down devouring the entire length of Addison into his mouth, sucking on that little pole as he felt Addison's hand on his head, pulling him up from between his legs. Noah sat up as Addison sat up too, the younger boy was pulling at Noah's shirt, dragging it up and off of him, his own little tongue flicking over one of Noah's nipples, his hand was sliding down over Noah's flat stomach, feeling the slight shape of his muscles which had started adding to his thinness in the past few months. When he felt the smaller boys hand on his jeans undoing the button he pulled Addison's face back up to his and kissed him hard. Addison's fingers were in his jeans now, sliding into his boxer-briefs, finding him as Noah's own fingers circled around Addison's penis, stroking it with each stroke he felt Addison rubbing him through his briefs. Addison pulled back from their kiss, his eyes full of hunger as he pulled at Noah's underwear and jeans together. Noah fell back onto the bed letting Addison pull his jeans and underwear off tossing them to the ground where Addison's own already were. Addison was moving, sliding on top of him and Noah wasn't going to deny the boy it was clear that Addison desired this as much as Noah did. If not more than Noah did. His hands were holding Noah as he moved positioning himself over Noah, pushing down onto Noah. The feeling of the younger boy's bottom as he pushed up into it was wonderful, he had never had someone else other than Nathan that one time. As Addison pushed down on him the younger boys eyes got wider as he looked down at Noah, their eyes meeting. He pushed down more, sliding further down on Noah's penis, the feeling of him squeezing on him was amazing as he pushed further up into Addison the twelve year old pushing down on the teenagers penis. Addison rested his hands on Noah's chest as he started to ride Noah more. Noah pulled Addison down to him, their mouths meeting, their tongues tangling as Noah continued to slip further into Addison with the boy pushing down on him. * The feeling of Noah entering him as he pushed down on the older boy was amazing to Addison. He had known what it was like to go inside of a girl, but he had never had someone inside of him, and he desired very much to have Noah inside of him. He wasn't sure what he felt for Noah yet other than a really deep amount of affection. He wasn't sure if hew as in love or not, well he was in love but not in the kind of love that he thought he would feel one day in his future. The feeling though of Noah going inside of him, of his penis pushing up further into his butt as Addison pushed down on it was wonderful. Then Noah pulled him down to meet him, their lips meeting, their tongues tangled. He could feel Noah's hands on him, holding him tightly sliding over his back down over the rise of his bottom helping him ride Noah even better as he held him at the waist. Addison could feel his penis throbbing as he pushed down on Noah, the feeling of Noah inside of his bottom was filling all of him now. When the older teenager's penis pushed in further he could feel it stimulating him from behind, sending all kinds of pleasure through his body as he rode Noah's erection. The teenager groaned and let him know that he was going to cum. Addison pushed down on Noah again taking in nearly four inches into his body and as Noah contracted and shot his seed Addison felt it pushing up into him and that sent the younger boy into his own orgasm. He groaned falling hard on top of Noah, the two of them laying in a tangled mass of limbs. Addison slipped off of Noah after catching his breath rolling onto his back beside Noah. He could feel Noah's spend leaking out of his bottom as he closed his legs and held it in there, he liked the feel of it inside of him. He might actually he realized like the feel of a boy inside of him more than being inside of a girl. He had done research on that too, he wasn't sure if he preferred one over the other but the feeling of Noah emptying inside of him had been better than his own orgasm inside of Erin, but that might have been because he couldn't make stuff yet as well. He lay there after they were done in Noah's arms. He like Noah, truly and really he did but the closer he got to Noah the more he realized that he wasn't in love with Noah. He liked being with him and he had wanted to give Noah his first time as he felt that Noah was the right person for that. Yet his feelings for Noah while stronger than what he felt for Erin weren't as strong as say his sister's were for Greg's. Or Noah's clearly were still for Sarah though he didn't like talking about her. Resting in Noah's arms their bodies still joined together he realized that one day Noah would go back out seeking Sarah, that he wasn't done with her yet. He also realized that he was intrigued by another boy that lived in this house sometimes. More than once he had asked Noah about his step-brother he had listened to Noah talk about Nathan and answer his questions about an older boy that he had never met and only seen pictures of. Yet through Noah's discrpitions he felt is if he was getting to kind of know Nathan. He wasn't sure if he should fee bad about maybe starting to get feelings for a boy he'd never met while he had one right her. Still Addison knew inside that this was just for both of them something fun and passionate but not love. * Noah woke a few hours later, Addison was in his arms sleeping. He stroked the younger boys hair and gently kissed the top of his head before slipping from the bed. He pulled on his underwear and a tee-shirt walking out of the bedroom. He was surprised to see a light on in the living room. He walked in and saw Beth sitting on the couch. She saw him and smiled, patting the couch. Noah sat down by her and said, "you're still up?" Beth smiled and put her arm around his shoulders, he was bigger than her now, more broad of shoulder, almost as broad as Nathan now, but it still felt wonderful when she would hold him. "Couldn't sleep. I was thinking about David, Nathan's dad. It was his birthday today. David would have loved you." Noah said, "I'm sorry Beth..." She squeezed his shoulders, "its been a long time now since he died, but sometimes I still think about him, and about your dad too. Sometimes I hope I'm doing a good job raising their boys. They were really good fathers in a world where there's not enough of those. I like to think that they'd love how their sons turned out." Noah smiled a bit and found he wasn't really all that sad, "you're a great mom and did a great job for both Nathan and I. He'd tell you that too." Beth chuckled a bit and squeezed his shoulders, "are you and Addison being safe?" Noah felt his entire thoughts stopped, looking at Beth in a bit of a shock. She smiled, "I'm not ignorant, the fact that you and Nathan thought I was does still astound me sometimes. Or even you and Sarah, that day when I sat you and her down I had known for a long while that you two were intimate with one another. You're not good at hiding it even if you think you are from a woman who did similar things." Noah felt his jaw drop a bit and he said, "B-but I mean... why didn't you stop Nathan I.. I Mean he's.... and I'm... and well..." he sighed falling back on the couch a bit. Beth touched his arm and then kissed his forehead, "Sweetie if I thought Nathan and you were anything but taking care of one another I would have stopped it. I knew it would end on its own, the two of you weren't in love you were both just working through something really bad together. You got close to each other and I let you because it was what you needed. I know Nathan, he probably hated himself for giving into you, but I know you too and how persistent you can be." Noah sighed a bit then said, "but... I mean our age differences..." Beth shrugged, "David and I were separated by age as well, not as far as you and Nathan, but just like you and Sarah, only the other way around. I could see why you and Nathan did fall for one another. You actually remind me of me when I was your age, confident I could get what I wanted when I wanted it, but unsure how to get it. Nathan is a lot like his dad, but I could tell with how much the two of you had in common, how you interacted with one another that you were both willing and loved each other. My parents were surprised when I married David because our first time dating had ended so suddenly. But when he asked me at nineteen to marry him while I was still in college I couldn't say no." Noah still felt dumbfounded by all of this. "That's why you had Nathan at such a young age?" Beth said, "no, Nathan was an accident of our first year after marriage. Honestly I'm still not sure how I got pregnant with him, the doctor was surprised too. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, that was why we knew he was going to be special. We had thought about adopting because the chances of me carrying a kid were so low almost impossibly low." Noah smiled a bit, "and then that kid ended up being gay..." Beth smiled too, "ah yes, he no doubt told you about my freak out when he came out. We had already known by then but I still freaked out about it, I had hoped, I mean there was a small chance that he might be bi instead of gay, but it all ended up being okay. Now I have two sons who can both give me grandchildren one day, just not together." Noah rested his head on her shoulder, "No Nathan and I are more than friends maybe even family of some kind. I still love him, but not like how I felt about Sarah and he feels the same way." He paused for a moment, "Beth, how do you feel about Addison?" "He's a sweet kid, but he's not for you. Not because he's so smart but because he's... well he's too similar to you in a lot of ways that just make you and him not fit. He'd be better off with someone who could actually find a way to make him focus on what he needs to be doing. What I like though is seeing you try again after Sarah..." Noah said, "he's wonderful, amazing really but I'm serious how do you feel about him?" Beth was quite for a long while, "I don't like that he's physically so young, that's the only problem I had with you and Nathan too, your age physically is so far apart, but your interactions changed my mind, its why I let you stay close to each other because I could see it when you were together age disappeared, Nathan was like a little kid again, and you were like an adult at times. Its how I knew when you and Sarah were serious, I could see it in how the two of you interacted with one another and I'm sorry that you lost her..." Noah softly said, "I didn't. I Know it sounds crazy and that I'm crazy for thinking it because I'm still so young, and she's gone now and probably won't be back for years, but I can't help but feel it that we're not done, that the story isn't finished between her and me. I don't mean it as some romantic who believes in fate or destiny but I feel it anyway." Beth held him as she said, "its possible, you and Sarah were singular in your fit, but you were both young and this is the better solution than trying to keep things together when you're both going in different directions. One day you might find a way back to each other, its possible, but don't put your life on hold for it Noah." Noah said, "I won't, I... I want Addison to meet Nathan... and I know that he's..." Beth interrupted him, "I knew where you were going before, when you asked, its like a train on a track with no brakes, I can't stop it from coming and I don't know what happens when they do meet. Their age difference, its almost like you came into our lives for this reason. I like the boy quite a lot Noah, he's amazing and yes I do think him and Nathan should meet but I do wish it could be six years from now." They were both quiet for a long while after that, sitting and enjoying an episode or two of The Office which was playing on the television. Thirty-One The sound of the gun going off sent Sarah running down the track, her mind was focused only on the race at the moment, on taking over the girl that was ahead of her. Her long legs pushed her forward and she moved along the track quickly pulling ahead of both of the girls from the other team. She reached out with the baton and passed it to the next girl in the relay race as she caught her breath. Her team stayed in first for the rest of the race and as she was walking over to get some water, Rachel one of the other girls on her team said, "he's here again you realize that right?" Sarah looked over at the stands, at the front she saw who Rachel was talking about, "I see that." Sarah had taken advanced calculus because she liked math and she liked being challenged by it, she hadn't expected anything else from it, yet somehow one day in the middle of September as she was working on something sitting on the floor in the hallway in front of the college library someone had sat down by her and she had looked over to see who it was. She had seen him of course in class, he was hard to miss. He wasn't just tall, though he was tall, over six and half feet, he wasn't just handsome though he was that as well, with dark blue eyes, light blonde hair that was cut short but framed the top of his head really well. He had a sharp strong chin and he was just enough muscle and flesh compared to bones that his height wasn't skinny but full. As he sat down next to her he looked at the book she was reading, "The Master and his Emissary?" Sarah looked down at the book, she had notes on her lap that she had been writing on with the book beside her ready to grab it at any moment. "its for an essay for my anatomy class." He nodded and put his hand out, "we've never been properly introduced despite the fact that we have the same math class and I don't like not knowing people. I'm Steven." Sarah decide that if this was his way of picking her up or asking her out it was probably the worst way that someone could do that. So she felt disarmed as she took his hand and said, "Sarah." He leaned back and said, "I've seen you out on the track as well, so you're taking advanced math, anatomy classes and you're also doing track? Do you ever get a moment to yourself?" Sarah laughed he was she decided quite good at just making casual conversation. "no most of my moments are tied up with those things. I really should get going actually. The coach isn't going to be happy if I'm late for practice." He hadn't stood up or moved as she got up, she could tell that his eyes maybe lingered on her a bit but he had just said, "Well good luck then Sarah." She had figured that he might by that point just be a little strange, kind of nice, but strange. A few days later she had been coming off of the track after a practice run when she had seen him again standing there talking with another guy who was a little shorter than him and then when she walked past he had just said, "you looked good out there today Sarah." That was all. A few days later as she was leaving the showers heading back towards her dorm room she he had been waiting. She might have thought it was creepy then but as soon as she stepped out and saw him she said, "are you following me?" Steven had shrugged a bit and said, "total accident but since it is, how about if I take you to dinner?" Sarah studied him then again, trying to catch his angle, he was handsome, easy going as well, full of confidence and assurance. He was the kind of guy that knew what he wanted clearly and he went for it. He almost remind her of Calvin for a moment, but that wasn't right. He kind of remind her of Noah, with his quick wit and ability to easily hold her attention, but that wasn't right either. He was like someone had taken a bit of Noah, a bit of Calvin, even a little bit of the other three boys before Calvin and shoved them all into a blender and pushed out this guy. She had just smiled a bit and said, "no thanks, not tonight I've got a lot of studying to do." Then she had walked on. She wasn't sure how she felt about him and there was something about him that felt a little... false but he was intriguing. That was why she was not surprised at all that over the next three meets he was there watching her. He always had someone else with him, but he was always there. He also always asked her for dinner. Today though as she watched him she could feel herself finding this man charming in ways that she had not anticipated. Honestly Sarah had thought that she would make it out here and find out that no boy was as interesting as Noah had been. He had been the best fish in her local pond. None of the boys in her high school could have compared to Noah, but this man, this one could have and did. That was why when he asked again she found herself ready. She had always thought that maybe Noah was her only way to a happy life, but now she was finding that maybe there was more than she knew. That maybe she had limited herself because things with him had been so good and so easy. She dressed unlike herself, wearing a dress and even small heels as Steven wanted to take her out to a nice restaurant. The conversation started off small with him asking her what her major was and her talking about how she was majoring in physiology and minoring in physical therapy as she didn't see track as her real future. "I spent most of my high school years trying to figure out what I wanted to do. Then I sort of stumbled upon what I wanted by Noah just putting down things I liked on a long list." Steven said, "Noah?" Sarah realized that for the first time since the beginning of summer saying his name didn't hurt. It was all kind of distant now. She still felt things for him, still would in a heartbeat drop everything if something horrible happened to him but it didn't hurt to talk about him anymore. "Ex boyfriend." That felt weird to say as well, as if it was somehow false, but what else could he be? They weren't together anymore so that would be what he was. Steven nodded and said, "well at least he helped you figure out what you wanted to do with your life. I think that's pretty cool though. Physiology, its the study of the human body right? Our anatomy and all of that?" Sarah nodded and Steven continued, "thats pretty impressive makes my major look kind of stupid." Sarah smiled, "what are you going to school for?" Steven said, "political science, and I know before you go all crazy on me, politicians are all evil and the scum of the earth but you can't fix things unless you do it from the inside." Sarah said, "well you could always just burn it all down." Steven laughed, "true enough. Its always been the thing though, I mean I have this vision, its kind of stupid my last girlfriend told me as much, but I see it, myself one day at the white house, directing our country and the first step is right here in this city. Getting this degree, working towards getting into the senate here in LA. My dad and I don't always see eye to eye on politics either but he agrees with my way of going about this. His idea was for us to pay for a seat, to buy it not to do the hard work. It'll be years before I'm ready to be on the senate but my dad doesn't want me to start small, he wants to throw his weight and money around instead." Sarah wasn't sure what to make about that. "but you don't want to?" Steven shook his head, "no, people don't respect you, its harder to get into the smaller offices if you throw your weight around and you need to start small, show people that you are of the people even if you're really not. I mean I can't help that I was born to Richard Carsen but I can try my best to use what my father gives me to make other people see that I can help them." Sarah found that she was intrigued by this man, she was pretty sure that she had never actually met someone like him. Though she also wasn't sure how much of him she could actually believe. "for give my ignorance but who's Richard Carsen?" Steven smiled, "my father, I forget, you're not from Los Angeles, he's one of the top developers out here, a producer as well on more than a few of the biggest hits of the last decade." Sarah said, "and you want to take his money and use it to get into office to help the little people?" Steven shook his head, "no, I want to get into office to help people yes, but I said it before I don't want to use my dad's money at all. Its why I'm going to school, its why I'm majoring in political science and its why I'm planning on starting at the bottom. Once I need to start aiming for the bigger offices that's when my dad's money comes in. The real trick is finding the right people to surround myself with. I want to get married one day, have a family, and yes that all is there to propel me to higher offices, but also I do want a family. Just you know not for another ten years or so." Sarah laughed, "I thought maybe you were hitting on me with that line.. trying to get me into bed." Steven leaned over, taking one of her hands, his fingers were long and his hand large as it held hers and he said, "whose to say I wasn't." His smile disarmed her, it wasn't just its beauty it was the ease with which he used it as well. He was charming and easy to talk with. As they ate dinner she found that some of the things he talked about were things that she had herself thought about as well. That he had some of the same passions and ideals in regards to where the country was going. Then it was easy to go from that to being pressed to the wall in his apartment his hands all over her body, his lips on her own. His hands up her dress, his lips complementing her for her panties, his mouth devouring her as he went down on her. He was nothing like Noah but he was similar as well. He tasted different, and he treated her a little rougher as he entered her but he did it with passion and desire just as Noah always did. He wanted her, he was devoted to her body and pleasured her not looking to only pleasure himself. That was how they started dating, and by mid October when she told Karen that she was seeing someone seriously she had known that it would get back to Noah, and she let it happen. She had she realized moved on. Seeing him might hurt, learning in the beginning of November from her sister though Noah that he was also now seeing someone did hurt but it didn't feel as bad as she had thought it would. Steven made her happy, he was a little aggressive about things, didn't sit back and wait for others to take charge, he was a leader type and he was that way in the bedroom as well. She saw little flaws here and there. Things that he said or did that she wasn't sure she agreed with and sometimes she told him. He listened but she wasn't sure still if he really listened or just was so good at making it seem like he was listening. At Christmas though she brought him to her moms. By then Molly had gone to live with Karen and Michelle who were getting married in the spring. Her mom loved Steven, Karen and Michelle were indifferent to him but he loved that Karen was marrying a woman, said that the world needed to be more open to people being able to be whoever they wanted to be. Karen said it sounded like bullshit to Sarah later in the evening, but she was happy that Sarah was happy. Sarah wasn't sure if she was happy or if she was just lying to herself because Steven was so magnetic and she had been drawn into his world. Inside a part of her still yearned for the simple and easy way it had been with Noah, things with Steven were good, but they weren't really easy or simple. Yet what he wanted, what he wanted to make of his future it intrigued her and she found herself in love with what Steven offered for her future. In love with the idea of the kind of family he could give her. The kind of life that she had never imagined she might want. It was freeing, but also kind of a trap. She felt sometimes with Steven like he had brought her into his web as she fit in with his ideals of what the future for him should be. She was the right kind of woman for the job of mother, and powerful politician wife. She felt as if she could just reach out for her phone, call Noah's number and he'd come get her, but then she'd remember what Karen had told her, how serious Noah had become with this person named Addison. It was just easier to leave things as the were. He had moved on with his life, she had moved on with hers, times had changed and this was where she belonged.... Life had other plans in mind for her but Sarah didn't know that... Thirty Five. Nathan had decided he needed a real break from school for winter and had booked a plane home. He had decided that he would surprise his mom and Noah both. It had been about a month since he had talked with Noah on the phone. They had sent some texts back and forth and Noah had told him he was seeing a boy but that was really about all that the had talked about. SO he arrived home on the first day of his official month off from college, the house was quite as he walked in, there was an almost strangeness to it. He put his stuff down in his bedroom and walked over to Noah's curious as to what had changed since the last time he had been here a year ago. He had seen Noah of course during the summer for their trip through Texas to get his mind off of Sarah. Since then though he and Noah hadn't really talked all that. School was just too hectic honestly, he was so close to being done with medical school now and starting residency that he could taste it and it had become his only focus. But he needed this Christmas break and that was why he had taken it. So Nathan had not seen Noah's room since his break with Sarah shortly before the summer. During the summer that one week up in New York Noah had been surprisingly happy and ready for anything, but inside Nathan had known he was sad and had even held him a couple of nights in bed after they were intimate together. He still loved Noah, it just wasn't the same as it had been when they had started, the distance and amount of time apart every year was enough to make them really close friends who still slept together but not really lovers anymore. Noah's room still looked mostly the same, there were still the Star Wars posters on his walls and some other movies or shows hung there as well. His bed was unmade which did not surprise Nathan in the least. He was looking at some new toy that Noah had picked up somewhere when the front door opened. He headed back up to the front of the house and stopped when he saw Noah. He was taller, not quite six feet yet, but still every time Nathan saw him the boy was growing bigger. That though wasn't what had stopped him, it was the fact that Noah was standing in the living room close to the front door kissing someone. The other boy was shorter, not even five feet, with light blonde hair that went to his shoulders, he was at first not sure it was a boy until he noticed how Noah was sliding his hand between the other boy's legs, sliding it over something that was clearly a bulge in the boys jeans. Their tongues were tangled, Noah had his other hand in the younger boys hair and the two of them were sort of heading towards the couch when Nathan cleared his throat. The younger boy jumped back a huge flush filling his face and that made him look even more adorable really. He was so pretty that he made Noah look older than his fifteen years. So this boy was who Noah had been seeing. Noah turned looking at him and when seeing it was him smiled and came over hugging him. Nathan returned the hug and he could feel Noah in his jeans which he was surprised to realize was making him start to grow now too. His feelings for Noah had never stopped really, he still desired him even though he no longer looked like a little boy mainly because it had never been the little boy form that had attracted him rather the boy that had that form. He almost wanted to do more than hug upon feeling that but then he saw the younger boy standing there as Noah said, "Oh," his voice was a little deeper, not as deep as Nathan's own and it probably wouldn't get much deeper than it already was, but it was different now. "This is Addison, Addison this is my step-brother Nathan." The younger boy came over and stuck out his hand as Nathan shook it he said, "Hi, Noah says that you were his first real boyfriend." Nathan looked at Noah who shrugged a bit and said, "I didn't think you were going to be home from school yet. I thought it was on Saturday, I was going to let you know that Addison and I have had a lot of talks about things." Nathan nodded and said, "well I guess its okay if you're okay with it." Addison said, "I don't know how okay with it Noah is, he's still not sure he should have told me everything but I told him everything and really our physical ages are just numbers showing how many times we've been around the sun not how mature we are." Nathan said, "where have I heard that before?" Addison said, "no idea, someone else has said it before to you?" Nathan laughed and Noah said, "it sounds like something Karen would say." Nathan said, "yes, it does. I miss her wise council." Noah looked over at him, "She moved out?" Nathan felt almost like he shouldn't say something but he figured that if Noah was this serious about someone then he might be okay, "she married Michelle and moved in with her, it was a really pretty ceremony..." He saw the far away look in Noah's eyes as he said, "how was Sarah?" Addison saw it too. The younger boy actually put his arm around Noah's back side and Noah smiled pulling him in a bit too. Nathan said, "she was beautiful, it felt strange to me though seeing her there with someone that wasn't you." Noah nodded, "yeah, well I hope she's doing good. You told me she was seeing some guy named Steven right, I'm guessing that's who she brought?" Nathan nodded and Noah said, "good, I've got some homework to do." He kissed Addison's cheek and said something to him that Nathan didn't catch then he headed back towards his bedroom. Stopping once to hug Nathan as he said, "I did miss you Nathan. I always do." As he went into his bedroom Nathan seeing Addison said, "should one of us..." Addison shook his head, "he's fine, when he gets that way about Sarah its better to leave him alone, I figured that out about a month ago. He's still in love with her." Nathan said, "aren't you and him dating?" Addison shrugged, "we're good friends, we're attracted to each other, but we're not in love." Nathan sat on the edge of the couch, this kid sort of was starting to remind him of another kid that he had met three years ago roughly. "so you're just friends with benefits." Addison said, "sure, just like you and Noah are. I don't see the problem with it. I still can't decide if I like boys or girls more, but I know that I like being with Noah and that he likes being with me. He can't really get over Sarah, Beth says its because she's his first love but I think its more than that. I think its that no one gets him like Sarah does, so maybe one day someone will but it won't be me." Nathan sat down on the couch now not sure at all what to make of this strange boy that was standing in this living room as if he belonged here, as if he had always been here. "So how did you and Noah meet?" Addison seeing Nathan sitting down came over and sat down too. "He almost stepped on me, it was my fault really I was the one laying on the floor in the library reading about chromosomes and he was looking for something else and didn't notice me. Then we got to talking about chromosomes because we were both interested in what it all meant, me because I was at the time thinking about going into microbiology and he was thinking he might want to use something about it in a story or as part of a story. Now though I'm not sure if I want to do microbiology or another specialty that deals with the human brain." He stopped talking looking at Nathan and Nathan said, "why were you in a high school library exactly?" Addison shrugged, "I am in high school. I'm a junior, but only because my sister wants me to experience high school, I could already be in college. Honestly the only thing interesting going on in high school is my relationship with Noah, if I didn't have that I would probably have already annoyed more than one or two teachers with my questions to the point that they got with the school and asked them to please graduate me like the middle school did. I'm not really good at staying quite or not asking questions. I need to know the answer to things and that's why I keep jumping around on what I want to do." Nathan listened to him. He had never heard someone speak like this boy, ever. "well what are you passionate about?" Addison looked over at him, the boys eyes were a deep dark blue and they shone with true beauty. "I don't know. That's the problem. I think I want to be one thing but then I can't settle on it, I find out something about something else and then I want to be that instead. Microbiology was interesting for about a month but then I thought maybe I'd do something in Neuroscience because the brain interests me. I mean how can I have as high of an IQ as I do and other people just have a normal one, I'd really like to know that and find out how our brains process information. I'd like to know how I was born with hyperthymesia and most people aren't born with it." Nathan broke into his thoughts, "wait you actually have hyperthymesia?" Addison nodded, "yes, I could give you a full account of my last few days if you want me to. Most people find it quite boring though. Usually I do too but memories of being with Noah are nice as are those with Erin... although I was only with Erin twice..." Nathan broke into that thought, "who is Erin?" "Oh when the school wanted to put me in junior grade my sister had to get me a tutor to see if I needed focus in certain areas or not. Erin was my tutor a high school senior who was going to Baylor in the fall already and well when she figured that I didn't need to be tutored at all she found something else I needed to learn about instead..." He didn't even flush when he said it, he just stated it immediately, "she was pretty good too showing me stuff about girls that I had only read about or thought I might understand. Things are better with Noah, but I think that's because he had you to teach him how to do that stuff with boys..." He trailed off. Nathan said, "you know about Noah and I?" Addison shrugged, "sure, sometimes after we do stuff Noah and I talk about things and one of the things we talk about is you because he worries about you." Nathan laughed, "he worries about me?" Addison nodded, "sure, says that you're so focused on school that you don't stop and have enough fun. I can see it though I mean if not for my sister or Noah my entire life would be focused on learning. I like learning new things and finding out new stuff that makes me wonder about the world, and you're going to be a doctor and that takes a lot of time and energy. I don't think that I could actually work with people, or heal them or something. Finding a cure for something I could do if I went into one of those fields but actually taking care of a sick person, especially in emergency medicine I don't think I could do that." Nathan was speechless really. This kid was Noah times a hundred. He had known the first week of getting to know Noah that he was trouble for Nathan. He was intelligent, more mature than his age, able to hold his own with Nathan in every meeting, and he was attracted to Nathan. This kid was all of those other things, thankfully though it appeared as if he was too focused on his own thoughts and Noah both to be interested in Nathan. Nathan said, "its what I've wanted to do since I thought about being a doctor. Its one of the worst paid positions too but I don't care, I want to save people's lives, but you do too just in a different way." Addison looked at him, the boy's dark blue eyes were studying him, "Noah told me once that your dad died in a fire? Did that make you want to be a doctor?" Nathan looked to see if Noah was going to come out and save him, he didn't know if he wanted to get personal with Noah's boyfriend. "No, I wanted to be a doctor since I was ten, that was what made me decide to go into emergency though, seeing what those doctors did to keep my dad alive for us to say goodbye." Addison said, "I didn't get to say goodbye to my mom. I can still remember seeing her in perfect detail, when they brought me and my sister in to identify the body. Alison said that I didn't have to go but I had to. I needed to see it to try and understand. I was nine and trying to come to grips with lots of other things at the same time. I mean I was just learning how smart I really was and my mom was worried about how she was going to keep me grounded and stay a kid for a little longer, but even by six I hadn't felt like a kid. I don't think I've ever really been a kid, well not till I met Noah, we have fun together, but he's not really a kid either even if he's not an adult or I'm not an adult physically. That's what worries Alison the most about me going to college is that I'm only twelve, but I don't feel twelve and sometimes that makes her sad that I couldn't just be a kid." Nathan didn't know what to say. He was at a loss for words, "well you could try slowing down a bit... maybe play some video games or do school activities. Date some kids your own age or around there..." Addison shook his head, "kids my age are boring other than Noah, and he's a few years older but he's still around my age. We do play video games, and sometimes we do stuff together that is kid stuff like going on the swings are wrestling a bit but that always leads to other stuff, then again so does our talking sometimes. Its not my fault that kids my age are boring to me, and its not my fault that I want to not be a kid is it?" Nathan shrugged, "I couldn't tell you, I mean the difference between a kid your age and adult is just experience which brings a level of maturity to the personality. Some things might change, like I do see the world differently now than I did at twelve but I'm still me, the same me I was back then. Most of the time I still feel like I'm a kid just trying to be an adult. I see things in a certain way but a lot of my core beliefs came from how I was raised and the things I absorbed when I was in middle school and high school." Just then the front door opened and his mom came into the house carrying grocery bags. He got up to help her and when she saw him she said, "Nathan! You're a few days early!" Nathan nodded, "yes," as he took a bag and walked towards the kitchen he saw Addison take one as well. Beth smiled at the boy and ruffled his hair too which made him flush as she did it and Nathan continued, "I couldn't take it I had to get away from school for a bit my brain felt like mush." As they put the groceries down she said, "I see that you met Addison? Where's Noah?" Addison was helping put the groceries away as he said "he's in his bedroom, I think something Nathan said made him depressed. Um Beth can I have one of the apples?" Beth smiled, "sure you can sweetie." Addison took it and walked back towards the living room. Nathan watched him leave and shook his head, "Permanent resident now?" Beth said, "he's a sweetheart, reminds me a lot of you and Noah both but he's a lot smarter than both of you and has no idea how to deal with it sometimes." "You have no idea how to?" Beth shook her head, "No he has no idea how to. I've only seen it happen once or twice but sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with his own information that he can't stop talking about it. The first time I saw it I told Noah that he was being rude to his friend when he grabbed Addison's arm and looked him in the face and told him to stop. Then I learned that Addison had told Noah it was the only way to get him to stop. Otherwise he'd just get stuck in a loop of his own thoughts. Kid's got an IQ above 210 or somewhere around there." Nathan whistled, "You realize that makes Einstein.." His mom interrupted him, "yes makes Einstein look like you compared to Addison." Nathan said, "and he says that Noah is the only person that doesn't bore him?" His mom smiled, "yes, I think it might be Noah's creative mind and how big it is that makes Addison fascinated by Noah. They're really good and close friends and Noah needed that, but I think he's mostly better now. What happened with Sarah?" Nathan shrugged, "She was at Karen's wedding a month ago and I mentioned it was with a guy named Steven. I didn't even think about it..." His mom squeezed his arm, "He's fine, I'd only be worried if you said she was married or something." Nathan smiled a bit, "She did ask after him, the vulnerable look she allowed herself for a few moments almost hurt me. I think she misses him as much as he does her still." "Maybe so, but it was best for the two of them that they broke it off. Neither of them would have tried and seen what was out there if they hadn't. And long distance puts strains on relationships no matter how strong." After a moment of silence with her studying Nathan and him wondering why she was studying him so hard she said, "Well since you're home I'll set an extra plate for dinner." Nathan said, "does Addison stay over a lot?" His mom smiled, "yes, he stays over most Fridays, on Saturdays he and Noah usually go see a movie and then we take Addison home. His sister doesn't know how close they are." Nathan stopped thinking about what his mom had just said, "but you do?" His mom touched his cheek, "of course I do sweetie, I'm a mom, Alison's too busy worried that her little brother's going to stop being a kid to see what's right in front of her, she's not a mom but a big sister who has her own worries starting her own family." Nathan took a moment again to think about that, "so you're okay that Noah wants to be with a boy now instead of a girl?" His mom shrugged, "he can date whoever he wants to, as long as both parties are consenting to it, even his own step-brother I suppose." Nathan just stood there as his mom walked out of the kitchen and went to sit with Addison on the couch who started talking with her about something. His entire mind was stunned trying to process what his mom had just so casually hinted at. He felt better about pushing it away instead of focusing on it. That was a conversation for another day with his mom not now. Eventually Noah did join the rest of them and he actually did look okay. Around ten he and Addison disappeared to his room and Nathan's mom went to bed, but he didn't ask her about the step-brother comment, honestly he was a little afraid to. * Addison lay by Noah on the bed, looking up at the ceiling trying to figure out what to say or do. He felt guilty really really guilty. He had liked it when moments ago Noah had finished inside of him, and kissing Noah, holding him while he held Addison back still felt so wonderful. Plus he knew that Noah needed him right now because he was still a little sad about Sarah seeing someone else. Still his mind was on earlier, he couldn't get Nathan out of his head. He knew that Nathan was twenty-three, and that sort of fascinated him because he also knew that Nathan and Noah had a thing and had been a thing since Noah was the same age as Addison, so Nathan didn't mind younger boys or older boys either. So theatrically Addison could be with Nathan now and still be with him ten years from now when he was an adult. Noah laying next to him said, "just go out there..." Addison said, "Huh?" Noah sighed, "you're keeping me awake, staring at the ceiling your thoughts are so loud that I can hear them and you're not even talking." Addison said, "but you need..." Noah sighed and pushed at him a bit, "I need sleep Addison, I'm fine really, I've been waiting for you and Nathan to meet. I want to see it from the outside, watch him get all flustered again like he did three years ago but this time I get to see it from both sides..." Addison turned so that he was looking at Noah who was on his side as well. "But we're dating..." Noah touched his cheek, "we're not in love Addison, we're just really good friends like me and Nathan are. Go on, get to know him. I want you to." Addison started to hesitate but Noah found his pajama pants on the floor and tossed them at him, "go on, stop arguing with me because you're afraid." Addison sitting up said, "am I? I don't know why I would be." Noah sat down next to him, "because it might be the real deal, its stupid to think it but ever since my dad died I've felt like it was the thing that led me to all of this, meeting Nathan, Sarah, even you all of it happened I feel because he passed, almost like he was making sure that I was taken care of by bringing all of you into my life, while also making sure that I could take care of all of you too. Maybe you and Nathan won't be anything, but you're not going to know if you sit here and keep me awake." Addison did fell nervous he realized, a little scared even that he might not be able to handle something as important as actually falling in love and with someone who was physically so much older than him. It was different being with Noah, he wasn't that far off in age physically, but Nathan was ten years older than Addison that was a huge age gap. When he talked to Nathan it didn't feel like one, he knew that it was because of who he was, and who Nathan was. Still he was also afraid that Nathan would end up just like so many others not able to handle how his mind worked. His sister, Noah, and Beth so far appeared to be the only people who got him. Well Beth tried her best, it was clear that she had gotten very fond of him and his quirks and not just because he was seeing Noah. She reminded him of his mom in a lot of ways, even more than his sister did. So he got up and pulled on a tee-shirt and his pajama pants before walking out of the bedroom. He walked down the hall and into the living room where Nathan was still up watching television. He stopped for a moment close to the edge of the hallway. Nathan was taller than Noah, broader of shoulder and even more handsome. Addison had decided that he liked boys more than girls, he could still desire girls but he wanted to be with a boy more. He knew that Noah wanted to be with a girl more, but that was because Noah's heart was stuck with Sarah. He walked out into the living room slowly and when he sat down on the couch he saw that Nathan was a little surprised. "I thought you and Noah would be busy." Addison said, "I was keeping him awake, sometimes I can't sleep even after..." He trailed off on that one not sure what he wanted to say or not say. Nathan chuckled, "after sex you mean?" Addison felt his face heat, "yes, it always feels really good but sometimes I can't make my head stop thinking about other things. Most nights if I'm here with Noah and can't sleep he'll talk with me until I fall asleep, but tonight he said I should come out here... because..." he stopped again not sure what he should say or not say. Nathan said, "well I can't promise that I can help you get to sleep." Addison shrugged, "its no big deal, when you and Noah started doing things together did you start things?" Nathan looked over at him and then back at the television. Addison wondered if he had said something to make him feel discomfort. "no, Noah was persistent in things. He got me to bend to his will over a few weeks of time together. We didn't intend to get feelings for one another but I think it helped him get better that we did. I think it helped Noah see that the world went on, that he could go on. I know it helped me because I never got as close to someone as I did Noah but I knew when Sarah came along that he and I weren't going to be anything more than friends." Addison smiled at that, "I want to meet Sarah, I think I will one day, she seems like she's a really incredible girl." Nathan said, "She is, well I mean she is for Noah, I don't know how she stacks up for other people. She's one of my best friends kind of like a little sister just like Noah's a little brother. Its always possible that they still end up together I suppose, but I think she's pretty serious about this Steven guy she's seeing." Addison said, "that's okay I'd still like to meet her one day. Do you ever want to get married or have a family?" Nathan thought for a long while then said, "sure one day probably, when I'm in my thirties. I think I'd like to meet a guy and fall in love and have a family and all of that. Why do you ask?" Addison let quiet hang in the air for a moment, "I know I'd like to have a family one day, and I was just seeing how long I'd have to wait." Then he did what he had done with Noah. He was more nervous than he had been with Noah, more certain to though. Positive that taking this move was right positive that while he barely knew Nathan he could see a road before him. He could see this man challenging him in a way that no one else alive did. Perhaps even showing him how to focus his mind on what he really wanted instead of fluttering about from one thing to another. He moved sliding up to where Nathan was and pushed his lips to Nathan's. It took Nathan a moment to realize what was happening. He pulled back, breaking their kiss. "Whoa wait a minute there Addison..." Addison moved back a bit further with the kiss broken then said, "you've already been with Noah, so I know you don't care about my age or size,and I know you'll still desire me in ten years when you're maybe ready to start a family and that's when I will want to start a family too because I've already thought about it and I want to have a family, but even if I have to wait till I'm in my late twenties I'm okay with that too, although I figure that you'll propose to me when I'm eighteen or nineteen and that's when we'll tell my sister and deal with it then..." Nathan's hand was still on his shoulder, holding him back a bit, "we don't even know each other Addison." Addison smiled then, "no, but we should get to know one another, really well. Unless... you don't like me?" Nathan swallowed, "you're like no one else I know and I've only known you for a few hours, but we're... I don't know if I can handle all that you are... and you're a lot younger than me... even if you are mature... I don't..." Addison pushed in again and when Nathan didn't stop him he pressed his lips to Nathan's. He kissed Nathan hard, kissed him with his tongue like Noah and Erin had taught him to do. Then he pulled back and said, "I've got a long time to wait. If you say that sex is off limits till I'm seventeen I'm okay with that, I don't need to have sex I've already had it and quite enjoy it but if you don't want to have sex because of our ages that's fine. Though you were fine doing with Noah so I don't know why you woulnd't be okay with doing it with me too I mean I'm not a virgin. I'd be okay getting the sex out of the way right now if you wanted to, that way there's no sexual tension between us and we can just see if we have something real. You can decide though, its up to you next, your move not mine. I'll wait till I'm seventeen and come seek you out if I have to, but I'd rather we get to know each other and not wait just because I'm not physically seventeen yet." Nathan's hand brushed his cheek and he said softly, "why me? Dear gods why the fuck does this keep happening to me?" Addison smiled and said, "I don't know why you worry about that, maybe you're just too caught up in physical age." He sat back down next to Nathan and said, "we go slow, we go fast, honestly I don't care, I can wait or I could go back there right now. I already said that but its the truth." Nathan shook his head a bit and said, "we definitely are not going back there right now. If we're going to be something it will be because of anything but physical attraction. I will need to get to know you, get to know what you're really like before I decide to just sleep with you. I will need to feel something more than desire for you. I will need to be in love with you." Addison nodded and said, "okay, that sounds like a good deal. Its what Noah said too, but he gave in a lot easier than you did because we're allowed to be attracted to each other since we're so close in age." He felt better getting that done like that. Over the next few weeks while Nathan was home Addison found any way he could to get over and see Nathan. It was nothing like what he had felt at first with Noah, this was deeper and almost instant need and connection. The sexual tension was there but Nathan kept his hands to himself mostly, other than some aggressive kissing from Addison. Addison wasn't Noah, he wasn't worried about Nathan being so far away, especially since he knew that he wanted Nathan forever. Thirty-Six The uber dropped him off at his mom's house and Nathan did still wonder what he was doing here for Spring break. It felt strange coming home for spring break but this was like his first spring break the year when Noah's dad had died, he had a reason to come home for the first time. Over the past three months things in his life had changed in an unexpected way and honestly Nathan still wasn't sure what to make of them. This wasn't like what he had felt with Noah, there was something going on here that was a lot more complex than that and he didn't actually know how to deal with it. Addison was nothing like Noah, nothing like any boy that Nathan had ever met. He knew that Addison and Noah had been and might even now be doing stuff together as they were both young and boys who were both bisexual and into one another. Yet he didn't now if they were because of one factor, Addison was clearly involved with Nathan now. There was no other way to put that besides saying it that way. He had thought that Noah was it, that he wouldn't let himself fall for a younger boy, especially not one ten years or more younger than him ever again. Then Addison had been there with Noah and that had changed everything. It wasn't like with Noah, during the years when he and Noah had been more than just occasional sex and had talked every now and then. IN the past three months he had been on the phone with Addison for hours at a time sometimes a whole day on the phone. The boy was willing to talk about everything and he had an opinion on everything as well, but more than that he actually would stop and listen to Nathan if he had something to say or debate with Addison. He wasn't flawless he was wrong sometimes, no matter how smart he was or how much information he absorbed sometimes Addison didn't know anything, especially when it came to relationships and being with someone else. He was more mature than his twelve years but he was still just a kid, but one day when he was an adult.. Nathan pushed the thought away. He had come back home though mainly to see Addison, he had put a restriction on their relationship something he hadn't done with Noah because he had been weak and there had been no one but him and Noah all the time. Addison right now still had Noah so he could seek someone else around his age that could help him deal with his sexual desires and Noah did desire Addison, he found him to be very pretty for a boy. Nathan did as well. Stunningly so to the point that he wanted to do more much more than just talk with Addison. He walked up to the front of the house, unlocking the door and with his bag over his shoulder walked inside. He stopped in the front foyer surprised to see Addison in the living room. The boy was for a second pacing across the living room floor and then he stopped and sat down on the floor. Nathan could hear him muttering to himself. Noah had told him something about this, but he had never witnessed it before himself. He put his bag down and walked over to where Addison was. The boy seemed surprised to see him when he bent down in front of him. "Hey," He said smiling. Addison's brow furrowed and the boy said, "if you move that over there and then take the other part you might be able to find the right answer to the.... There has to be a way to find the right solution and then you can..." He started to stand up. As he stood up Nathan stood as well and Addison started walking. Nathan put a hand on his shoulder stopping the shorter smaller boy who stopped looking at him as if he was actually seeing him. "Hey are you there Addison?" Addison paused almost painfully and said, "I can't.... just let me... I Need to... if I Don't..." he pulled back a bit and started walking, but he hadn't actually told Nathan anything. Nathan had heard from Noah his solution to when Addison went off the rails lost in his own mental thoughts but Nathan decided that there was probably a better approach. The boy walked back and forth again saying the same things about some kind of problem he was trying to work out. Nathan stood in front of him and put both of his hands on Addison's shoulders until the boy stopped and looked up at him, "Hey again, come on, sit down, tell me what's going on." He led Addison to the couch, "Where's Noah?" Addison said, "he had a school thing," As they sat down he continued, "I started thinking about a problem that I read in a paper and the doctor that wrote it up, he was going at it the wrong way and he came to the wrong solution I think and I felt like I could maybe find the right solution if I just read some more things but that just sent my head tumbling in another direction and I don't think I can get it to go back into the right direction." "So you're trying to find a solution and running in circles in your own head?" Addison nodded and Nathan still facing him sitting on the couch said, "Okay so go back to the initial thing that started you down this hole. Only think about that not anything else." Addison said, "Well it was just about a way to shut off the abnormal cells that cause leukemia in children and... there's all these thoughts on it and then there's other thoughts on other things and I started thinking about those things and there might be a solution to...." Nathan interrupted him, "count to ten Addison and then breath in heavily then out and only think about the first thing not any of the other things." Addison did it and then he started talking again about the first thing, some of it was over Nathan's head but as he had taken a lot of classes on his way to becoming a doctor most of it was stuff that he had heard about before. After a few minutes of Addison talking about it he stopped and said, "that's better, I'm not stuck in my loop anymore, I can actually think about it again... how did you know that would work?" Nathan his hands still on Addison's small shoulders said, "it works for anxiety patients and you were clearly experiencing a form of anxiety." Addison nodded a bit, "yes, Noah usually tells me to shut up and then kiss me and then we go.... Well its not important." HE flushed at the end when he finished that. Nathan said, "Well does that really solve the problem?" Addison shrugged, "it usually gets me distracted enough that I calm down and eventually my mind starts to work correctly again. Its all the stuff in my head, its always swirling around and getting me caught up in it." He flushed again as he said, "sex helps distract me from it, um so does talking with you." Nathan touched Addison's cheek, "It does huh?" Addison nodded and then leaned in before Nathan could stop him, "it does." His lips were like electricity against Nathan's own, soft, smaller, more delicate but also wonderful and Nathan wanted nothing more than to melt under them. The boys smaller tongue pushed into his mouth and Nathan found himself helpless, he screamed at himself for letting this happen again in his head but he couldn't and didn't want to stop it. He let Addison push him back until he was laying on the couch with the boy leaning over him. Their mouths still meeting. When he felt Addison's hand going down between them on his stomach through his shirt Nathan pulled back breaking their kiss, "I... I can't Addison..." Addison kept his face inches from Nathan's, "you could for Noah... but not for the boy you're going to spend your life with?" Nathan stroked his cheek, "am I?" Addison's hand began to move down further, "yes, you're mine for the rest of your life, live to be a hundred and I'll be right there at eighty-eight telling you that you're stupid for not giving in and fucking me when I was twelve." Nathan felt Addison's fingers on the button of his pants. Nathan said, "how can you be sure? We haven't even really dated yet." Addison smiled a bit his fingers undoing the button. Nathan knew he was helpless now, trapped in the web the boy was weaving for him. "Because you're able to do stuff like what you did earlier, and while Noah, or my sister, even your mom will sit and listen to me patiently talk about things, you'll actually debate me even though I've got a much higher intelligence... I mean we've talked most nights, you let me call you and you actually talk back with me not just letting me go on and on forever." Nathan stroked his cheek, "being smart Addison doesn't always mean you're right." Addison was on the zipper now, "no but I am right about this aren't I? You can see it too, us together in our old age? Grandchildren, really smart grandchildren?" Nathan laughed, "I don't know but I'd like to find out." Addison's fingers were sliding into his pants now, sliding over his boxers where Nathan was large and throbbing, "we could find out right now how compatible we are... you clearly want to." Nathan did it then, he pulled Addison's face down to his own and kissed the younger boy with the full force of how much he desired to kiss Addison. Then he grabbed him and lifted him, the boy wrapping his legs around Nathan's middle as he carried the twelve year old into his bedroom and dropped him on the bed. Nathan leaned over Addison, kissing the boy's lips, his tongue playing with Addison's as he gripped the boys shirt and pulled it up and off of him breaking their kiss for a moment. Addison sat up pulling at Nathan's shirt as well almost pawing it off of him he was so desperate. There was a hunger in the boys eyes as he devoured Nathan's body, his fingers running over his slightly toned and flat chest and stomach, down lower to where the pants were still open, pulling them open fully and reaching inside finding him in his boxers pulling him out. Nathan still sitting up on the bed watched as Addison pulled him out from his own position on the bed leaning down, running his tongue over the head of Nathan's penis, slipping his mouth down over it. Nathan pulled Addison off, laying the boy back on the bed as he ran his tongue over Addison's nipples, licking one then the other. Addison was smaller than Noah had been at the same age, not a lot smaller but still smaller even if he was similar in height. Nathan ran kisses along the boys stomach, sliding down further and further until he reached the boys jeans. He undid the jeans, pulling them down Addison's legs along with his briefs as well. The preteen boy's penis popped out standing fully erect, it was smaller than Noah's had been at the same age, but not too small at all, if anything the fact that the small thin pole could easily fit in Nathan's mouth made him lick his lips. He pulled at his own pants and boxers, getting them off so that he was as nearly naked as Addison, both of them in only socks now. Nathan went down on Addison again, his fingers reaching for the boy's penis, finding it and stroking it. He sucked Addison into his mouth as his fingers found the boys balls and stroked them. Addison was pulling him off of him, his eyes were filled with desire and begging. Nathan moved into position not wanting to wait any longer. He could do all the other stuff later, the boy was begging and he was in no position to stop himself, his own desire he could feel in every moment and fiber of his body. Addison lay there under him, spreading his legs open for Nathan as he moved into position. He entered Addison, the boy was tight under him, his legs up on Nathan's waist as Nathan leaned over him pushing into him. The tightness of Addison's bottom as he pushed in deeper drove Nathan to push in more. They went at it a little franticly, their bodies joined together, Nathan leaning down over Addison, his mouth meeting the younger boys as he pushed deeper into his bottom. IT was so tight in there as Addison squeezed on him for all hew as worth. When it happened it was like it had been before with Noah but different as well. This was somehow the same but more powerful. It felt like this was the boy he was supposed to do this with as much as possible. When he was finished he rolled off of Addison and fell beside him on the bed. Catching his breath Addison said, "see, you wanted that as much as I did." Nathan laughed, pulling the boy into his arms, "aren't you worried I might only want boys and you won't be one forever?" Addison said, "No, mainly because I see how you still look at Noah sometimes, you still think about wanting to take him to bed too don't you?" Nathan stroked Addison's stomach, in a few he'd be ready to go again and wondered if the boy would be as well, "that's is true. And there are still plenty of older men I find quite attractive as well... but I think all that's going to go away now isn't it?" Addison turned over so he was looking at Nathan, "well if I have to share you with Noah I don't mind. Maybe he'll find a wife that's a little more open to things as well..." Nathan said, "maybe, but I think that ship sailed a while back. You know he set us up right? Addison smiled, "Oh yes, he had thought about us being perfect for each other for quite awhile even while fucking me." Nathan stroked Addison's cheek, "you have such a dirty mouth." "I could show you how dirty it is if you want..." Then he pushed Nathan back flat onto his back, "I mean you already took me once..." So he took him again. Later Noah and Beth came home and they both pretended like nothing was different, but by the end of Nathan's spring break it was clear that everything was different and that only added to the complicated amount of time that they'd have to wait till Addison was old enough to make his own decisions on who he was with sexually... Thirty Seven The third time this week Sarah was finding it difficult to concentrate on anything the pas few days, even in one of her favorite classes. She leaned back her pen tapping on the paper as the professor continued going over the causes and side effects of certain kinds of drugs. Sarah was in her third year of college now, working towards her degree still in physiology. She wasn't even sure what she was going to do with the degree, where she wanted to go to work or any of that. Honestly she was pretty confident that Steven who had come to UCLA and planned to graduate in political science and go into government already had planned things out. Steven was one year older than her and already in his senior year of college, he was with his dad's help already planning how he would use his degree to help him get started on his path towards becoming a political figure in LA. Honestly Sarah hadn't been sure about Steven when she first met him, a part of her still wasn't sure but he was handsome, and sure of himself in a way that sort of reminded her of what she had known back home. Although he was in a lot of ways a lot different than Noah, and that was part of what had attracted her to Steven, that he was this cocky confident guy who had ambitions to change the world. She had actually enjoyed dating Steven because he was so different from Noah and so different from what was before too. For the first few months after the newness wore off the biggest thing that kept her dating Steven was finding reasons to not go home especially after learning from her sister that Noah was seeing someone new that he was pretty serious with according to Nathan who had learned it from his mom Beth. So any reason to not accidentally bump into the by then fifteen year old Noah was for the best and Steven was a good distraction. Then after the first year she felt something for Steven that she hadn't expected, love and a desire to be with him and bring his dreams for their future to life. He wasn't like the first boys she dated either, in one regard he was a lot like Noah, he listened to her and valued her ideas. That was the way she felt anyway. Though sometimes when her ides didn't line up with his own Steven would find a way to sway her to his side of thinking, like any good politician she figured. He was handsome, light sandy blonde hair, dark brooding blue eyes, a strong profile with a proud chin. He was good in bed too she found, attentive to her in the same ways that Noah had been, but as the years had gone on he had gotten less attentive. She still found it hard to believe that she had met Steven so soon after ending things with Noah and was still with him three years later. She could see his plans for her and him already, a part of her wondered if her mix race had driven Steven to get to know her? Sometimes she did feel like she was one of those trophies that some political figures felt they needed in order to meet a certain kind of demographic to get elected. Then he would do or say something and she'd think she was being foolish. Plus he supported her career path, wanted her to have a job, for them to have a family one day, but only after he was established, so ten years from now or so he often said. After class Sarah still didn't feel all that good, maybe she was coming down with something she figured. As she drove back to the apartment that she shared with Steven, she wondered how her life had gotten so organized in the past three years. She knew that Steven was the reason for that, he had everything planned out, engagement when she was twenty-three so that she was done with school and he was as well, then marriage when she was twenty-five and him twenty-seven. First kid when she turned thirty and by then they'd be well on their way. It seemed like a really good life, she was making a really great one for herself. The only sacrifice she had made was giving up Noah. Really though that was probably for the best, he had been younger than her, a free spirit who needed to see the world, and she was pretty sure this was where she belonged. Her mom loved Steven, her sister not so much but Steven loved that she had a lesbian sister (she had tried to explain to him that Karen was bisexual but she was married to a girl and that had made her give up). Sarah walked into the apartment and tired fell back onto the bed that she shared with Steven. Even though it had become a little rote her sex with Steven was nice, though a part of her she supposed still missed it with Noah, even though Steven did all the `dirty stuff' as he called it he only did it rarely, Noah had never hesitated. She had thought about him more recently and she wasn't even sure why. Noah would be seventeen now, she had barely talked to him in a year and all she knew was that he was a senior in high school and Nathan had told her that he had gotten a couple of short stories on some online publishing sites. Sarah sat up slowly and her mind went back to something the other day that Steven had mentioned about her cycle. Sarah slipped off of the bed and headed out of the apartment. She drove over to the local walgreens and purchased a home pregnancy test hoping beyond all hope that she was wrong, she just could imagine the shit that Steven would give her honestly. He had a whole plan didn't he? At the apartment she took the test and stared at it for a very long time. They had been going without condoms for months now, she always took the pill and had figured that the chances were so low and Steven had no STDs so what was the point of the condom. Sarah sighed studying the home pregnancy test again. Thinking about when she had her last period she figured that would put her at about six weeks. The sound of the front door opening made her look up from the bathroom counter. "Babe! Your starting man is here!" Sarah didn't tell him right then and there, she wasn't sure how he would react and a little part of her was scared. After dinner as they were getting ready for bed she decided to tell him, "Steven, I found out something today and I think we're going to have to talk about it." Steven was walking from the bathroom back into the bedroom as he said, "what's going on, did you have another breakthrough on how to fix the traffic in this fucked city?" Sarah half laughed at his joke about something she had said a week ago, "no, I know that we had a plan and all of that but sometimes life sends you a curve and well I'm pregnant." Steven stopped pulling off his shirt as he said, "excuse me?" Sarah shrugged, "Its not a big deal, I mean so we're a few years..." Steven leaned in and said, "it is a big deal Sarah, fuck ten years, we're not supposed to start a family till I'm established with enough clout that families look good, young politicians with families look bad if my son is already a teenager when I'm running for the bigger offices.. no its a simple solution..." Sarah shook her head, "its not a simple solution, you know how I feel about that, we've talked about it before. If other women want to have them I'm all for it but I won't have an abortion,when its my decision I will always decide to carry it." Steven groaned and sat down, he breathed in and out a few times, "Fuck!" Sarah moved coming to sit beside him, "It'll be okay, I mean we'll wait till later to have more kids, one older kid and few younger still look good, I mean look at Kal Leverson he's on the senate right now and his oldest is in high school and he's the same age you will be when you take his seat right?" Steven chuckled a bit, "Kal Leverson is a hack." Then he took her hand and squeezed it, "you're right though, we'll make it, I'm sorry I didn't think about your thoughts on the matter, and I shouldn't have over reacted." That was it really, that was the end of the discussion. Over the next few days they did visit a doctor and she was indeed six weeks pregnant. Her final classes came and went and she was free from school for the summer, Steven just had two more classes left himself. They started to think about the future with a kid and Steven actually seemed happy about being able to teach a son (it was always a son) how to play football like he had in high school. Then one day about a week later Sarah woke up feeling weak and tired. She figured that it was just morning sickness but then there was blood, more than there should have been. She called out for Steven, and the fear on his face was evident he didn't even wait to call for an ambulance, he picked her up and carried her to the car and then to the hospital. She was put in the hospital and Steven stayed with her until the doctors did confirm that she had indeed had a miscarriage. As the doctor left the room telling her that she needed to stay a few more hours for some test Steven holding her hand said, "I'm sorry babe... I mean I know I wasn't thrilled at first but... I know how much you wanted it already." Sarah smiled still feeling week as she said, "its okay, it just wasn't our time yet." Steven kissed her forehead and stroked her hand. "Its for the best you'll see babe." A few minutes later he got a text and said, "I've got to go sorry but I've still got that lecture to give. If they don't let you go home in a few hours just text me and I'll come back and stay." Sarah nodded and he squeezed her hand once before walking out of the room. Everything was fine until about twenty minutes later when the doctor came back in. "So we found what caused the extra amount of bleeding by looking over your blood work. Your uterus and ovaries all look to be very healthy, but you probably ingested too much misoprostol during the second phase of removing the unwanted pregnancy." Sarah swallowed, "too much what?... wait... unwanted? No this was a wanted pregnancy." The blood in her veins felt like ice as it flowed through her. The doctor closed his chart, "You had both misoprostol and mifepristone in your system, these are the two drugs that are used to terminate a pregnancy that is below ten weeks, they were a little higher than normal and if you hadn't come in there was a possibility of more blood loss that could have been severe but women only get these drugs from planned parenthood. They won't give it to you without a consult Ms. Nesson. Its okay we're used to..." Sarah said, "yes sorry I was mistaken... um am I.. I mean when will I be free to go home?" He looked over the chart, "there's nothing medical to keep you anymore, but if you want to talk to someone, regret can sometimes..." She interrupted him, "no I'm okay, thank you doctor." He nodded and left the room. Sarah sat up on the bed slipping to the edge of it and felt a tear slide down one of her cheeks. She had known that Steven was serious about no kids till he was thirty, she had just never figured that he'd actually do something that so betrayed her trust in him as this did. She found her phone, she went to her sister first but Karen would just want to beat the shit out of Steven. She went to her mom, her mom would just say it was for the best, her finger scrolled past other people, she stopped staring at one last contact for a much longer time than the others. Her finger just rested on it. She let the phone dial wondering if he even had the same number still two years later... "Sarah?" His voice was deeper, but not unrecognizable, there was just a slightly deeper sound to that sweet melody that she had forgotten sounded so good to her ears. "I didn't know who else to call." It was a simple declaration of truth, she felt a second tear slide down her cheek. Noah on the other end said, "are you okay?" Sarah shook her head she knew he couldn't see that so she said with it her voice breaking a bit, "n-no not at all. I thought I had everything figured out but maybe I was just creating an illusion for myself. I thought that I had everything figured out and I'm sorry I'm calling you like this and laying this on you when we're not even close anymore...." She was near to sobbing. Noah on the other end said, "I'm always here for you Sarah, you're my friend right?" Sarah held back a sob, "yes, but I'm still sorry I shouldn't... its not your problem." Noah was calm, a presence she didn't know she needed but she really did, "just tell me what happened Sarah." She wiped her eye, "I shouldn't. Its okay, hearing your voice was nice. I need to go Noah, I've got class. Bye." She hung up before she could even think about not. It had been the wrong move to make, calling him had been the stupid move. He was hundreds of miles away, he was still in high school and should be enjoying all that had, not listening to her or having her burdens be his. She had broken it with Noah to give him a chance to soar and be who he should be. If she hadn't let him he'd never find out who he really was and they'd just end up hating each other. She was with Steven now but she didn't know if she wanted to do that anymore either not after this betrayal. At home she sat on her bed, the bed that she had shared with Steven most every night these past two years, and looked around the room. The bare walls, the way that his dresser sat on one side, hers on the other. It was like one of those rich powerful political families you saw on television. The married couple that slept in bed together and had these goals of ruling the world with their power and prestige. Like that show House of Cards or something. Not really in love at all, just in it because they fit some kind of demographic a certain way. She could see this life playing out that way, see herself growing into this cold distant woman sitting on capital hill with her husband, treating her children like shit parading them around as if they were the be all American dream children. Leaving them with nannies or some other thing, becoming someone that she despised and hated who lusted for things that the real Sarah didn't want or ever needed. She knew now, that moment that she had first seen that life growing in her, she wanted a family. She knew also that she had picked the wrong person, gone the wrong way. The wrong answer had been to let Noah go, but she had felt certain at the time that it was the right answer, that they would have never worked or stayed together when she was hundreds miles away form him and never saw him. It had just been too hard. It was too late to go back in time and change that, too late to get Noah since she knew he was happy with someone else. That day had sailed, but she could still choose not to become whatever the hell Steven was trying to make her into being. On her way home she had looked up the name of the drugs that the doctor had told her she had taken, both were more commonly known together as the abortion pill. Her mind went back to a few days earlier, and then yesterday both. Steven had been extra dotting on her those days, getting her drinks, making her dinner, rubbing her feet, doing all kinds of attentive things he hadn't done since they had first started dating. In the kitchen she found the proof. The name on the bottles wasn't hers, it was some girl named Claudia, the name sounded familiar and it took her a moment to place it, Claudia was one of the girls that was always at his lectures with large blue eyes and a huge smile always saying how lucky Sarah was that she had found Steven. They had also been filled two months ago and Sarah felt everything fall into place then. The front door opened and she heard him, "Hey Babe! You're starting..." As he had started she had moved to the living room where he was walking in. Her mind had made a decision the moment that he walked in. It had clicked and told her what to do. He stopped talking when she stepped out from the kitchen and threw the bottles at him. One of them hit him right on the nose which he grabbed and held as she said, "Get the fuck out!" Steven holding his nose bent down and picked up the bottle and said, "what the fuck are you doing Sarah?" "Get! OUT!" She pointed at the door and her rage was building almost to a boiling point. Steven holding the bottle said, "Hey come on Sarah, what the fuck is going on." He walked over to where she was and said, "look I know its hard that you lost the baby..." She almost hit him, she pulled back though and said, "I didn't loose anything, you aborted it and I told you how I felt about that you piece of shit. What did you have Claudia get rid of one too? Is that how you knew her pills would work on me as well?" Steven tried to hold her shoulder but she pushed back from him and he said, "come on babe, its not what you think and its not so bad, look we'll be more safe next time. Make sure that no more mistakes happen. Its all planned already." Sarah trembled, she was about to loose herself. "You need to leave. I don't know what I'll do if you stay and keep saying that bullshit to me right now.... I know that it wasn't fully formed and that it wasn't medically a baby yet, but it was my choice Steven not yours! Its my body, you can't just give me shit and expect me to take it... just... if you don't go I don't know what I'll do and I don't want to find out... just... go..." Steven studied her again, he tried to step forward, stopped grabbed his jacket and said, "Fuck, I'll come back when you've calmed down and stopped being such a bitch. You'll see Sarah this was the best solution for us, for our future family, for our future life. Just think about that. Think about the future we want together remember? One day the white house?" Sarah shuddered a bit, hearing him speak like that sickened her and it had always left a pit of uncertainty in her but now seeing what he really was she wondered not only how many times he had cheated on her . About how much he even cared about her other than her mixed race and how good that would look to voters one day.... Steven left and she fell down onto the couch sobbing, she just wanted someone to take care of her now, she needed someone and a part of her knew a part of Sarah knew that the only person that could take care of her was the one person she had pushed away because of her fear that she'd ruin him if she didn't let him fly free... * Noah stared at his phone a moment after it went dead, Sarah's contact information flashed and went back to the lock screen as he looked down at his phone dumbfounded a bit. She had been crying clearly and in an emotional state that he had never heard Sarah in ever in his life. He was still staring at his phone when Beth walked into the kitchen, "what's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." Noah looked up from his phone, "I know there's another week left of school, but I've already gotten all of my credits, how mad would you be at me if I left and got on a plane in a few hours?" Beth sat down next to him at the kitchen table where he had been eating a sandwich moments before, "what's going on? Did something happen to Addison? Should I expect a call from Nathan did they have an issue with living together?" Noah shook his head, "No they're fine, just having the normal amount of anxiety from Nathan being in resdiency and Addison not sure what he wants to do still. Its something else, I just got a call from Sarah. The way that she talked, how she worded things, it sounded like she was in trouble." Beth took his hand, "you want to go to her? See that she's okay?" Noah nodded, "I should. She sounded like she was in trouble, I don't know what kind of trouble but they way she spoke of it.. I think someone hurt her. She was so close to crying I just don't know where she lives." Beth said, "text Nathan, if he doesn't know Karen will I can promise you that right?" Noah nodded again and did as Beth suggested. She stood and kissed the top of his head, "she'll be alright Noah, whatever it is." Noah said, "we're not even the same people, I mean three years isn't a long time but a lot has changed in the last three years and I know a lot more changed for her than for me." Beth smiled, "It doesn't matter Noah, you're her friend, and you know her better than anyone even if its been three years. If you feel like you need to go then you should go. The worst that happens is she slams a door on your face and tells you to leave her alone. I think though that if you can feel her pain just from a phone call then you're doing the right thing by going to her. If its not right then you just come back here and we deal with things together." Noah nodded and used his phone to book a flight out to Los Angeles, then he went and packed, Beth drove him to the airport as he had found a plane that left that evening. He hadn't actually physically seen Sarah in three years, and only barely talked to her. He had always figured that the window was closed, that his dream of maybe one day him and her was really over. He'd even tried dating a few girls and one other boy beside Addison in the past two years since meeting Addison. None met the complexity of Sarah, not even the smartest boy that Noah had ever met. Then again Addison was destined for Nathan not for Noah. So that made sense. The plane landed and he got an Uber to the address that Karen had given him. At first when the uber dropped him at the front of the complex Noah wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't decide if he should just go to the apartment, or not. Honestly he had no idea if she'd even be home, it was the morning following her call and it was a Saturday and before eight in the morning local time. Noah replayed the phone call in his mind again and then decided that he had to be here, he had to help her, he had never head Sarah sound so distressed in his life. He walked through the complex and found her apartment. There were two parking spaces for cars in front of the apartment but only one of them had a car in it at the moment. Karen had told him that she was living with this Steven guy who had done something, but Noah wasn't sure what. Karen wasn't a fan, though Sarah's mom loved Steven apparently. If he had physically hurt Sarah, even mentally he would pay. That much Noah knew for sure. He knocked on the apartment door and waited. She answered the door, and even looking as she did, her hair a mess, her eyes bloodshot and red, no makeup, wearing a huge shirt and these plain and far too large pajama bottoms she looked as absolutely beautiful as he remembered. Her fair light caramel skin, a blend of both of her parents, her green and brown eyes that danced between the colors, even bloodshot and red looked as he remembered. She wasn't shorter than before, but he was over six feet now so she was now the smaller of the two of them. "N-Noah?" she said looking up at him He touched her cheek, and she crumpled. She fell into him and began to sob. Noah felt each sob as if it tore at his own soul a little bit. He pulled her into his embrace and held her tightly as he walked with her into the apartment closing the door behind him. He held her in that living room as her sobs continued until there was nothing left but small shakes of her body. He gently put a hand on her chin, turning her face up to look at his, "hi." Sarah swallowed and buried her head in his chest again as he stroked her hair, "I-I shouldn't have called you... you shouldn't have come out here... this isn't your problem." Noah said, "of course it is. I thought about a thousand times how I should have stopped waiting for you to call me again and for me to call you instead... but I was afraid of you not taking my calls. You're my best friend in the world Sarah. I should be here for you right?" Sarah sniffled and rested her head against him, "this is a change, never thought you'd be taller than me or so broad..." Noah smiled a bit, "I grew up," He paused for a moment then said, "What happened?" They went over to the couch, sitting down. It was strange seeing Sarah with her own place, it was almost like seeing her as an adult, she was twenty-one now so she as an adult. Sarah sitting next to him was quiet for a long while. "Steven had this grand plan for him and me, marriage, kids by a certain age, sometimes I think... no I know now that I'm just a part of that plan because of how I look, how smart I am, what I'm doing in school, it all looks good for a politicians wife. He's always been good, different than you, but hes taken care of me and I thought maybe he did love me." she looked up and over at him as if she was afraid shew as going to hurt him. In part it hurt but not really, because another part of Noah knew whatever this was it was over, "something happened though, something he did that made you question him and his love?" Sarah stopped swallowed and said, "I forgot how... good you were at listening... I liked the plan too, I mean it fit with my own idea of having a stable future and one day maybe children. I was sure I loved him, up until yesterday I had been confident we were going to build that life together even if there was a hiccup of an unplanned pregnancy..." She stopped again and wiped at her eye. Noah fought back a sudden urge to be angry, not that Sarah had gotten pregnant, he knew what was coming next. He could feel it in his entire body just from something that Karen had said in her text about how Steven was and how Sarah didn't see it. "Go on when you're ready." "We talked about it and you know what my feeling is on abortion..." He remembered, "I have nothing against others doing it and Steven knew that I felt that way, but that for me killing my own child, I couldn't and wouldn't ever do it unless it was something that would make that child suffer if it was born. So when I told him he was angry but after we talked he... it was okay. For the next week it was amazing really he was excited. I miscarried yesterday... and the doctor found drugs in my system that I didn't.... only I did..." She was close to sobbing again, "because he... and I called you because Karen would have killed him, and my mom would have told me to forgive him and I didn't know what to do..." She started sobbing again and a part of Noah couldn't believe that this was the Sarah that he had loved and hadn't fully gotten over in the past three years. It was only a second of doubt though before he pulled her back into his arms. The Sarah that he knew was still in there. Hidden behind this young woman who had been trying to find out what she wanted. Who was in pain because she had found out her life wasn't what she had thought it was or the man she loved wasn't who he said he was or pretended to be. When she stopped Noah said, "what do you want to do?" Sarah said, "kill the asshole." Noah stroked her cheek as he looked at her, "what do you really want to do?" Sarah stopped his hand from touching her cheek and held it in her own, not entwined just held it, "get the fuck out of here and never come back. I should have seen what he was like, but from the first day I met him he was so charming... so well he wasn't like the boys I dated before you and he wasn't like you and I think I liked that he was so different from everyone else I had ever been with, but I saw the real him yesterday. He didn't even care if he hurt me or my chance to have kids by giving me too many of the drugs, he just wanted to make sure the baby was gone." Noah said, "I can understand that some people are really good at hiding who they really are. Seeing you like this, feeling your pain knowing how much he hurts you it makes me want to hurt him back, but that's not what I'm going to do." Sarah said, "what are you going to do?" Noah stood up and took the hand that had been on top of his holding it and said, "I'm going to get you out of here, we're going just go somewhere, maybe go to the beach and spend the summer getting to know one another again... three years doesn't seem like a long time but sometimes it can change everything." Sarah stood as well, "I might not be the person you used to know... I might just be this wreck of a person instead of what I was before." Noah touched her chin and turned her face up to look at his, "you're not, you're still the most incredible girl I've ever met and I might like both boys and girls but I only want to spend the rest of whatever life I have left with you because you're the one and you'll see it too once we get to that beach..." Sarah said, "does it have to be a beach?" Noah smiled and then shrugged, "it can be whatever you want it to be... just come with me and we'll figure it out together." He didn't wait for her to answer yes or no, he just leaned down and kissed her and it was as he remembered, it was as wonderful as it had always been even if they had switched places in height and size. She pulled back studying him and touched his cheek once, "I don't know if we can be what we were before...." Noah put his hand on hers, "maybe we can be, maybe we can be more, right now just let me take you out of here Sarah. You don't need to be here anymore..." She nodded her hand sliding off of his face as she walked back towards her bedroom. He watched as she walked back that way and inside he knew she was still Sarah and he was still Noah. He followed her towards the bedroom to help her pack some things. Their future was wide open but he could see where it was leading already... Epilogue 6 years later The tree looked beautiful as he stood before it re-arranging another one of the gifts that would be waiting for sometime really close to now. His eyes went to the mantel above the fireplace where they had hung the six stockings though only one of them actually had things inside of it, the others were just there for decoration with all of the family members names on them. Off to the side were two stockings for the two people that they wished could be there but were no longer there. Someone touched his shoulder and Noah took the cup of warm coffee offered him as he said, "you should still be asleep." Sarah rested against him, "don't be selfish I want to see those dark green eyes light up when he sees all this as much as you do." Noah smiled and put his arm around her shoulders, "also they haven't been letting me get much rest lately." His eyes lingered on her swelling stomach full of new life. His desire to have Sarah again almost sent him to pull her back upstairs and towards their bedroom. She wore a night gown that did little to hide the pregnancy and she still looked as incredible now as she had at sixteen when he had first met her. The sound of someone else coming into the room made Noah turn to see Beth, his step-mom but now really and truly his mom as she had been that far longer than his birth one now. "oh good he's not up yet. I smelled the coffee and thought I had missed the best part about Christmas morning." Sarah still resting her head on Noah's shoulder looking at the stockings with him said, "he'll be down soon. We left a present up in his room so it might take him a moment to stop messing with it before coming down here to see the rest." Beth lived with them sort of, especially during the holidays otherwise she was spending her years traveling with friends relaxing in retirement. Beth was always around her grandson when he was home, which wasn't all the time. At twenty Noah had published his first novel and it had immediately become a worldwide best seller, the publishing house had wanted more and he knew that while most authors didn't hit big the first time his book had just been too good. They had taken Aaron with them on the book tour for the third book he had written and seen a lot of the country. They traveled though for Sarah's job as well. She had gotten her degree after transferring to the same school that Noah had gone to as well for his degree. Sarah though was the head of a non-profit organization that she had started with Addison that was put in place to help hospitals in need of things. That sometimes meant that she needed to travel to various hospitals across the country and sometimes the world. She loved the job and Noah loved that she had found her calling. If she traveled he went with her and if he went with her Aaron went with them. Sometimes Beth went as well, but other times she went on cruises or other things with her friends who had all been wifes who had lost husbands. Beth sipping her own cup of coffee said, "how are my second and third grandchildren doing?" Sarah rested a hand on her stomach, Beth didn't ask particulars, she didn't want to really know Noah assumed. Sarah said, "they're doing really well. They wouldn't let me sleep though." Sarah was six months pregnant with the twins that weren't twins. They were twins as they had been conceived together but they weren't because they only had their mother in common not their fathers. Testing for that had come a long way in the past six years and Addison had wanted to know for sure that one of them was his before they were born so he and Nathan could start planning on being fathers. Beth didn't ask about what the four of them did in private when they were alone together. It wasn't a regular thing anyway, but on occasion at least once or twice a year the times of their younger days came back to Noah, Sarah, Nathan, and Addison. The fact that two of them liked both sexes could lead to some interesting things in their bedroom when they all four shared, and it had led to Sarah getting pregnant with twins both from different fathers. The girl twin had been a surprise, she and Noah had planned on waiting till after she carried Nathan and Addison's baby before having their second. Though things had gotten a little crazy that night... Things worked out the way they did. That thought drifted as the sound of feet running down the stairs was all that they needed to break up Noah's thoughts. Aaron burst into the living room a little ball of energy, long sandy brown hair, dark green eyes, small for his age of four, a little less than three feet in height dressed in red pajamas with Santa and his elves all over the bottoms, the shirt he had gone to bed with last night somehow missing. His skin was lighter than Sarah's but not as light as his dad's. His eyes were bright as he saw all of them and said, "guess what mommy, daddy, grandma! Santa came! He got me a new bike! Can I go out and ride it!" Noah smiled and bent down ruffling his hair, the boy tried to move out of the way but his dad was far too fast, "what about all the other presents you got?" Aaron looked around his dad at the tree and then said, "I could open those first I sup-ose." The way he said suppose made Noah smile. Then the boy was slipping past his dad his mom trying to catch him for a kiss but he was faster than her getting to the presents under the tree. Noah smiled taking a seat on the couch with Sarah sitting next to him and Beth going down to help Aaron with the presents. Sarah rested a hand on her stomach, Noah put his on top of it. Soon Aaron had a huge stack of presents that all had his name on them, and then five other smaller stacks that had his parents name or Beth's name on them or his uncles names. Just as he was about to rip into one of the presents the front door opened. Aaron looked over at it when it opened and took off running over to where his uncles Nathan and Addison had just both come into the house. Nathan swept Aaron up into his arms as the four year old said, "Guess what Uncle Nathan Santa came! I got a bike and it had a helmet with it too!" Nathan smiled and ruffled the boys hair like his dad had done moments before and said, "thats wonderful and I see you've got even more presents." Addison by him was holding a present as he said, "I do hope there's room for one more, but it appears as if you have far too many." Aaron grabbed the present as he said, "nu-uh I can always have more!" He started to run back with it then stopped and went back and hugged his other uncle really tightly before running back to where the stacks of presents were. Noah, Sarah, and Beth all hugged Nathan and Addison. As he was hugging Sarah, Nathan leaned down and kissed her stomach and said, "How's our little man doing in there this morning?" Noah put his hand on Nathan's shoulders and pulled him back from Sarah's stomach as he said, "you trying to make a move on my wife? All these years I thought you were gay... you've been angling this from the start." Nathan broke off from Noah and put his arm around Sarah's shoulders, "damn straight." Addison just sighed, "I sometimes hate the both of you." They all looked at him and he smiled before kissing Noah's' cheek and then pulling Nathan away from Sarah towards where Aaron was still waiting surprisingly for all of them before he opened his presents. The four of them walked into the living room. Nathan and Addison both hugged Beth and she kissed their cheeks. She had never asked how close Nathan and Addison got before his seventeenth birthday, but Noah knew. The answer to that was simple, after three months Nathan had been unable to resist being closer to Addison. They had been married now for eight months, much to Addison's sister disagreement, she didn't like that he had met and married someone so much older than him. Alison actually hadn't known that Addison was even seeing Nathan until Addison's nineteenth birthday. Addison still hadn't finished college, he kept switching majors. He had written a book with Noah's help, and he had made a ton of money by helping a small medical start up company at eighteen. He had put most of that money into the company that Sarah ran, the hospital contracts that his start up held gave him all the money he needed to pay the employees and the rest he kept so that he and Nathan could start a family. Nathan worked in Emergency Medicine as he had always wanted to, but he was ready to be a father now. Addison, Noah had a feeling was going to finally settle on one last major since it was clear just by watching him with Aaron that he as well wanted a family with Nathan. Once they were all seated, Aaron looked around at all of them and saw they had drinks and he said, "I want a drink too!" Sarah kissed the top of his head as she stood up and went over to the table by the couch, as if she had known he would noticed she came back with a cup for Aaron too who took it and drank it and said, "chocolate!" Then it was a whirlwind of paper being ripped off of gifts and a boy of four getting wider eyes over and over again as he took in all of the presents he had gotten and it was just one after the other until finally nothing was left. After all the gifts were finally done and Aaron was either playing with one or carefully lifting his cup up to drink his hot chocolate and then carefully putting it down again he finally had enough of all of that and declared to his dad, "I want to ride my bike!" Noah just said, "well kiddo, you need a shirt and a jacket if you want to do that." Aaron smiled and took off towards the stairs, running past his uncles saying "I'm gonna ride my bike!" Sarah pulled NOah over for a kiss, stroking his cheek, "he's clearly your son." Noah laughed and rested his hand on her cheek as well, "you see the way he holds his cup and puts it down every time he's done drinking... clearly he got that from his mom." He stood and said, "he's probably trapped in his shirt again by now..." Sarah laughed as he headed up the stairs to deal with his son. He helped Aaron get dressed in some warm clothes though it was only in the fifties outside, the last thing they needed was a sick four year old. Then he put the helmet on the boys head and it looked far too big on his small head which made Noah smile as he said, "You ready kiddo?" Aaron nodded, "yes!" Noah carried the bike downstairs and after he put on his own jacket and some shoes from the foyer closet they stepped outside into the crisp morning air. It took a bit to get it down as Aaron needed to get good at peddling on the bike, but soon he was with his dad's instruction and his uncle Nathan's encouragement and wrong instructions (on purpose) able to get the hang of it and ride the bike along the path and sidewalk around the house. After a bit though they did go back inside and Aaron fell asleep after about an hour of playing with some of his other toys, just laying right by the tree, a hand under his head, another one holding one of his new toys. Beth put one of the blankets from the couch over him and kissed his cheek. Noah hugged her as she said, "your dad would have made him his world." Noah kissed her cheek and agreed. His dad would have loved Aaron. Later in the afternoon they all sat down for the family Christmas dinner and then after that Sarah said, "okay little man time for a bath and then bed time." Aaron stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, "but mom its Christmas!" Sarah ruffled his hair, "Don't try that on me Aaron Walter Allen, I know all of your tricks I've seen them all before on your dad." She winked at Noah which made him smile and almost laugh. Aaron sulked but let his mom lead him from the kitchen, when he was still pouting she lifted him up and started tickling him, making him squirm and giggle as she carried the squirming four year old up the stairs to his bath. Noah could hear the sound soon of a four year old having the time of his life in a bath tub. Nathan's hand on his shoulder made Noah look over and then lean into him on the couch. They weren't lovers anymore in the strictest of the words. Once or twice a year if the four of them got together and something happened it happened but mainly Nathan was with Addison and Noah was with Sarah. Still his closeness with Nathan had never disappeared, they were more than friends, but less than lovers and still not brothers not in any real way. "I hope Nathan Junior turns out somewhere just as wonderful." Noah almost laughed, "is that the name you settled on?" Addison coming from the kitchen said, "what name? Oh god this again, we're not doing that to the kid Nathan, its bad enough that you wanted to name him Stanley, but now this again?" Nathan smiled a bit and grabbed Addison's hand pulling him down until he was in front of him. He kissed Addison once and said, "I like messing with you. You're so touchy about names." Addison sighed and sat down on Nathan's other side, "Its because I was named Addison Fletcher, I can't use my middle name or my first name, neither one makes people take me seriously. I mean really who besides my mom names their son Addison?" Nathan said, "don't speak ill of the dead." Addison smiled and rested his head on Nathan's shoulder, "I was just saying, I've never been a fan of the name but clearly my husband and his family like it so I live with it." Noah said, "we love you Addison, the name is just something we make fun of when you're not around." Addison stuck his tongue out at Noah, Noah returned it. For a moment it was almost like they were in high school agaoin. A moment after that a four year old in his pajamas, this time dinosaurs all over them came running into the room and jumping up onto Nathan's lap so he was in the middle of them all, his hair still wet for his bath. Nathan grunted as Aaron probably hit his stomach with an elbow or a knee, both of which the boy had more than two of somehow. Beth came into the room and stopped looking at them sitting on the couch. Sarah who had been trying to find Aaron stopped as well beside Beth as Beth said, "look at all those beautiful boys." Sarah said, "they are something aren't they?" Then she went and scooped Aaron up as she said, "Come on little man time for bed." Aaron said, "can daddy read me a bedtime story!" Noah stood up and took Aaron from his mom and said, "without a doubt kiddo." Aaron giggled when he tickled him and carried the kid upstairs. After the story Aaron was sound asleep and Noah slipped off of the boys bed. Pulling the dinosaur sheets up over him and kissing his forehead as he stood back up and saw Sarah in the doorway smiling. His eyes roamed over her again, altogether he had known and been with Sarah for nine years, three together, three apart, and now six together. In all of those years she had only gotten more beautiful to him. At twenty-seven, carrying their second child (and that girls cousin) she still looked as stunning as she had at sixteen. Her background in track and volleyball still showed, she still outran Noah most mornings, and she stayed in shape because she still played on a volleyball amateur team in the fall. Her reddish blonde curls hung down past her shoulders, her skin still that fair almost pale caramel color, her eyes a mixture of the same green and browns it had always been, and somehow six months pregnant she looked even more stunning than before. Noah walked over to where she was and Sarah said, "hey there stranger..." Noah stroked her cheek as she looked up at him. Once he hadn't known what he wanted, he'd just been a confused boy who knew he liked girls and boys both. He had been lost having just lost his father that year. He had sought Nathan, knowing that was what he needed and he had and still did love Nathan and desired him sometimes too, but not like he did this wonderful woman before him. When she had left he had told himself to get over her, but the moment he had taken her back Noah had known he'd never let anything take her away again. She touched his cheek too, "what are you thinking abut there huh?" Noah smiled, leaning down to kiss her. Her lips were as soft as always, the taste of her as wonderful as he always remembered. "How we never did make it to that beach." Sarah laughed and rested a hand on his chest as he rested his on her round stomach, "I think we ended up exactly where we were supposed to..." Noah moved his hand lower on her stomach, sliding over the shape of it down the curve to the stretchy band of her maternity leggings, "oh, and where were we supposed to end up?" Sarah said, "right here with that incredible little guy and all of that family we have downstairs..." Noah slipped into the maternity leggings, "yes indeed," his fingers were sliding over her panties now, between her legs, "Although I don't think they'll mind if we disappear for a little bit.. I've got one more present I'd like to open..." Sarah laughed and kissed his lips, "you've been a good boy this Christmas Noah, I think you can open that present if you want..." Noah growled at her and kissed her lips harder pulling her out of their son's room and down the hall to their bedroom.... THE END. -Thank you, for anyone whose reached out to me to tell me they loved this story in the past or even with this final part. I know and fear that the finale might be all over the place but I wanted to include Addison's point of view and his chapters as I tired to make them their own story but I couldn't get it to work right so since I had already written them I decided to go ahead and put them here in this story as well to not waste the work I had done on them. -Final note: I have material written from the time that Noah goes to rescue Sarah and how they end up back together written, or mostly written. Along with how she meets Addison, how Noah proposes, how their wedding goes. None of it is really Adult/youth stuff so I don't know about putting it out. If there is interest in it I could publish it as a special part 9 that deals with how the four of them end up as a sort of foursome family.... If not that's fine as well as it doesn't have any youths in the story really.... Let me know and thanks for reading! You can reach me at: chaosmode00@tutanota.com on any thoughts on this closing part or any other part of the story. Have a nifty day and donate if you can:http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html