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This might be my favorite chapter, so far. It's silly, and ridiculous, and fun. It has opened up so much for me to write about and so many more characters. I have many more chapters to come. I hope you're enjoying yourself. If so, EMAIL ME.
This is also my 40th chapter. 40! So I did something I haven't done in awhile, and the entire list of characters in the first 40 chapters are listed at the bottom. Maybe you've forgotten a favorite character and want to suggest I bring them back. There are 333 of them. Wow. Remember, suggestions encouraged.
Amy here. So much going on.
Did you know there used to be an airport less than five miles from our house? Due east across the bridge, in Largo, near the park. What's more amazing is that it is technically still there. The city owns it, and can't do much of anything with it, because it was last used in the 1950s and the clean-up costs for spilled fuel, etc., to make it liveable would be astronomical. It's over two miles by a little over three quarters of a mile and sort of part of the park, but entirely fenced and locked down. About a thousand acres. It still has an 8,000 foot runway, although I am sure it is crumbling by now. I doubt anyone knows this. I found it out completely by accident when reading a little about the history of the area. It was used in WW II, then basically abandoned after the Korean war.
So, why is any of this important?
Because I want it. I want it bad. I want to build a track. An oval and a road course and a drag strip. And I want to keep a runway, which can be part of the track.
I want my own racetrack and I want my own airport. I think I could even get it approved, for two reasons. The first is that the number of flights in and out would be really small. The second is that it is surrounded by the park, so fairly far from houses. Oh, there is a third reason. Money. To buy it will take seriously stupid money, and the city sure could use it. It's entirely in the city of Largo. Not much of a budget there. What a windfall. I'm willing to commit it will never be commercialized, which should be the winning argument.
Did I mention the 8,000 foot runway? Did you know that even the BFP needs less than 8,000 feet? Fucking 5 miles from our house. I called Jason. He couldn't stop laughing and said things like 'most ludicrous thing you've ever wanted to buy'. Given what we have bought, that's a pretty big statement. We talked about an offer, and agreed we'd feel them out first. At $100K per acre, for an unusable site, I'd be at $80M. I could live with that, but bet we could get it for less. They're having to deal with security and upkeep and other things. First he was going to find out their carrying costs.
He called me back in less than an hour.
"Oh they want to sell it. They really, really want to sell it. The last inquiry into purchase was in 1973. They were crystal clear that it would never be a liveable property and it would never be approved as a commercial or even low volume private airport. I asked if they would allow it to be converted to a racetrack and airpark but only for a very small group of people. I put a cap of 50 private planes, as an arbitrary number. I committed to no more than 20 takeoffs and landings a day, and closure from 10PM to 6AM, with no more than 30 takeoff or landings a month after hours. I made that all up on the fly, but it felt OK. If you reach 50 airplanes, you have an addiction. I didn't mention the 747. I also promised that for any racing event, even practice, you'd hire the city's EMS crews to be onsite. Felt like a reasonable give. I did insist that the driving rules on the track were 100% your discretion. I didn't mention that's because you'll probably let Ruby race," he said, then ran out of breath.
Yeah, we'd let Ruby race.
"How much?," I asked.
"$15M," he replied.
"What? That can't be right. $15M?," I asked. "Why?"
"Because their costs are high. Even just maintaining the fence and the grounds is killing them. They see it as an albotross. You see it as an amazing opportunity," he said. "I admit, that price stunned me. You'd talked about how $80M would be fine and you'd go higher."
"Buy it," I said. He laughed.
"Are you kidding? I already did. I didn't want that surprise offer that comes in every 45 years to get it. I am confident they did not notice that I put in a clause making any historic cleanup costs their responsibility. I suspect they think they got rid of the risk," he said. We both laughed at that. "I sent someone to get all the padlock keys. They'll be at your house within the hour, if not less." Just then the bell for the gate rang. He must have heard it in the background.
"I'll bet that's him. By the way, the guy bringing the keys is a contractor friend of mine. If you're building the track and runways, he is 100% your guy," said Jason. "No other choice in the world. He built the new runway and taxiways at PIE. He maintains them all at TPA. He's damn good. Not cheap, but good. You don't care about cost, you care about quality. Don't let him go cheap. He might suggest asphalt. Go with concrete. I don't know much, but I know that. You'll spend your $80M."
With that I hung up and walked out to the living room. There was a good looking young guy standing there talking to Leslie. A GOOD looking young man. Couldn't have been more than 35. I admit I expected a crusty 55 year old. There I go again with age discriminatation. It was pretty clear from Leslie's body language that she was flirting with him. Hard. She was touching his arm, laughing, you know the drill. He was eating it up. After all, Leslie is smoking hot. Oh, and she was wearing a neon yellow tankini and dripping on the tile. Water, she was dripping water. I think.
I walked up and they were talking about airplanes.
"Mom, did you buy an airport?," said Leslie. The guy looked at me and then did a double-take. Oh, yeah, forgot, I was in a tankini too. Hot pink. And I don't look like nobody's mother.
"Yes, dear, I did. This nice man is going to help us refurbish it and also add a racetrack and drag strip," I said, introducing myself.
"Hi, I'm Brandon and I admit I have no idea what is going on, other than Jason said to come pick up some keys and come meet with you. I am off to a completely confusing start, because this wonderful young woman is incredibly knowledgable on airplanes and just called you Mom, and I'm willing to bet you're not more than early twenties. Jason also said that you are his only customer and I know he is filthy rich now, leaching from you. OK, maybe not leaching, but benefiting from you," he said. That was a lot to get out.
"Well, we are confusing, that's for sure, but we'll catch you up. Yes, we're Jason's only customer and yes, we're thrilled he is rich beyond his wildest dreams because of it and yes, I bought an airport," I said. "And Leslie knows all about airplanes because she is the best pilot in the family and flies damn near everything." Just then Chris walked up.
"Hey, I'm a damn good pilot too," said Chris. "OK, but I admit she is the best pilot in the family. Winning Top Gun kind of cemented that, didn't it?" Chris was not helping this poor guy. She was wearing a tiny bikini. A TINY bikini, and it was clearly not a lined bikini and she just came in from the pool. She may be 11 years old, but she looked sexy AF. I am sure we are confusing.
"Oh, and what's for dinner?," said Chris. Just then Alison walked in from the kitchen.
"I heard that," said Alison. "I have a standing rib in the oven and lobsters in the pot. I thought we'd eat out on the water. Should be ready in 20. I'll let everyone know. I have no idea who your are, but are you staying for dinner? There's plenty." Alison was wearing exercise shorts that rode up way too much, leaving a visible camel toe and a sports bra through which her nipples were visibly hard. So far this guy must believe he has arrived at some lesbian resort. The look on his face was a combination of confusion and lust. From the hall to the gym, I heard laughter and Blake, Bob, Orlando, and LeBron walked in, wearing shorts and nothing else. Fuck they all looked good. I have no idea why LeBron was here, but you know, LeBron.
"Oh, sorry to interupt," said LeBron. Brandon was staring and I'm fairly confident it wasn't just because he was awestruck. That was some serious beefcake and I mean all of them. Orlando had passed six feet and was damn close to Bob in height. They were all four ripped as hell. Yes, my nerd husband was a freaking God now. Best of both worlds for sure.
LeBron actually stuck out his hand and introduced himself and then the other three did too. I think Brandon was struck mute, but recovered and said it was nice to meet them all.
"Mom bought an airport and Brandon's going to rebuild the runway and build a racetrack and a drag strip but I don't know where it is," said Leslie.
"Cool," said Bob. "Our own airport and racetrack. Very cool. How far away is it? Will we have to fly to it?" I think the fact that Bob didn't ask how much it was surprised everyone. Except the family.
"Five miles due east. By the park," I said. Everyone got a shocked look. "Seriously. I didn't even know it was there until today and the city just sold it to us. Brandon is the best airport builder around and Jason recommends him highly. By the way, how do you know Jason?"
"We were fraternity brothers at Florida," said Brandon. "We stay in touch, but but don't see each other often. I do think you know two of my best friends though, as they have mentioned they play in a Friday night league at somebody's house. I'm guessing this is the house. Lance and Matt? We're really close friends." I'm guessing I knew exactly what that meant, but appreciate he was discreet, particularly since LeBron was here. Just then we heard more laughter and Russell Westbrook and Victor Oladipo walked out from the gym hall. That was confusing because neither was on our team and I'd never met either one. They were both shirtless too and I admit, the view was great. They came over and LeBron did all the introductions.
"We were just playing a little three on three," said Victor. "This is one hell of a place you have here. Too bad you didn't recruit me."
"Me too," said Russell. Bob and I gave each other a look. Should we? Could we? We didn't give a shit about salary caps.
"Hell, I'd come off the bench for this team," said Victor and Russell just kept nodding.
"Have your agents call Pop," said Bob. "See if they can work something out. Just make sure it is clear YOU brought it up first. No tampering from us." Everyone laughed. Let's face it, it was going to be our team and everyone else this year.
Alison came out and said to all load up on the boat. She said we'd be on the 131, as it was the right size and we didn't need the 475. Victor, Russell, and Brandon had no idea what any of that meant, but followed us out.
"Shouldn't we get shirts?," said Russell. LeBron laughed.
"You can if you want, but they're pretty damn informal. They're eating in their swim suits, so I don't think your formal T-shirt is really required." We all walked out to the cart garage and piled on. I gave the three newcomers credit, they just followed along. We drove down the path, past the biggest helicopter, which was on the helipad and drove around the gym. From there you can see the boats. All of them. Yeah, the 475 was in its berth, but we pulled up to the 131. The idea of the deck level dock was a great one, and we rode the freight elevator we'd had installed to the middle level. The top was to get on the 475. The bottom was for the 52 and all the racing boats. The middle was for the 131. We led them all on the 131 and Morgan headed up to the flybridge with Blake. I guess they were taking us out. I could see the guys all eyeing the jacuzzi. I guess I never mentioned that Morgan was home for a short visit. Good timing. Oh, I probably also never mentioned that both the 131 and 52 had been retrofitted with the hybrid drive. They were fucking fast. The rest of us went up to the outside lounge and sat down.
"Go ahead," I said. "You're hot and sweaty. It will feel good."
"Nah, we don't have suits," said Victor.
"Well there are three solutions to that problem. Orlando can take you downstairs and there are plenty of new suits for everyone. Or you can just get in wearing your shorts. They'll dry. That's the simplest. Or you can strip and jacuzzi naked. We're pretty casual about it, so no one would see body parts they've never seen before. We would just appreciate discretion if you choose that route," I said. They all looked at each other and the four men walked over to the jacuzzi and Chris and Leslie followed them. I think the men were all embarrassed, so, to no surprise, Chris stripped. You knew she would. Orlando, Bob, and Leslie followed suit which kind of embarrassed everyone else into doing so. Let me just say that the rest of their bodies that I hadn't seen lived up to my expectations. Oh, I knew nothing would happen, but it was still a nice view. I walked over and got a pile of towels and set them down next to them, then walked back to sit with Brandon.
"You're welcome to get in," I said.
"It sounds wonderful, and maybe later, but I'd love to talk about the project," said Brandon. "I think you got my point earlier, but I'm sure this entire group is not in the know, right?"
"Absolutely right, both that I got your point and that they are not in the know. We'll find a time," I said. I then described what I wanted to build and he was excited. He asked me about budget and timeline.
"The budget is 'I don't give a fuck' and the timeline is I want to race tomorrow," I said, giving him a big smile. I do have a nice smile.
"As in 24/7 crews?," he asked.
"Oh hell yes. As many as you can put on concurrently. Tell me about how you'd do it," I said.
"Well, the big questions is asphalt versus concrete. Concrete is triple the cost, but installs faster and is a much better surface for both racing and flying," he said.
"Didn't I say I didn't care about cost? Concrete," I said. "Why don't you lay out the plans and let's get back together. Talk to Morgan. She'll help design the race track. Talk to Orlando. He'll help design the drag strip. Talk to Leslie about the runways and airport parts. Do you do buildings, like the garages, hangers, etc. or is that someone else?"
"Oh, we can do it, but we prefer to work with an architect you can trust," he said. I told him about Chloe and that we'd get her involved. Did I mention most of this house had moveable walls now?
"I admit I am a little confused on why I should consult your kids and why they each seem to have a specialty. They're kids," he said.
"First, never underestimate kids around here. It's a job-killing proposition," I said. I opened the drawer next to me and pulled out an iPad. They're everywhere. I pulled up the Aviation week article on Leslie winning Top Gun and passed him the iPad. He carefully read the entire article.
"Wow, I see what you mean about underestimating them. That's amazing," he said. I took the iPad back and brought up the SI article on Morgan. It talked about her F1, NASCAR, and IndyCar wins, with highlights on the Indy 500 win on her 16th birthday. I passed it back to him again, and waited for him to read the article.
"Again, wow," he said. I didn't bring up an article on Orlando's drag racing, but did share that he was really into it and quite good and had helped redesign the local 1/8th mile track into a 1/4 mile track. They were going to lose our business, but we weren't keeping them afloat. Oh, I did bring up a shot of his with Taylor Swift and Camila Cabello. He actually knew Orlando as a musician, but he'd really grown and filled out since the videos.
"Do you go to the movies at all?," I asked.
"Yeah, I love the movies. I saw everyone of the Best picture nominees and I have to say there was absolutely no question about which movie should win. The two young women that won the co-best actress awards were simply amazing," he said. Just then Chris and Leslie walked up, yeah, still naked. He looked up and clearly appreciated them.
"Girls, get dressed," I said. They laughed and ran back to their discarded swimsuits and pulled them on. Just then the light bulb went on for Brandon.
"My God," he said. "My God."
"Powerful young people are kind of our thing," I said and he just kept nodding. Alison called us all to dinner and we went down to the dining room. We had more than the table would hold, so she had set it up buffet style. Her prime rib slices were generous. It looked like she'd done three entire standing ribs. They lobster tails were equally generous and there was a nice salad and several choices of vegetables. It was quite a feast.
"This is quite a feast," said Victor. "Is this a normal dinner for you?"
"No, no," said Chris. "Sometimes we have filet mignon instead of prime rib, and sometimes we have crab too, but we do like lobster." Everybody cracked up, but she really was serious.
"Oh wait," shouted Alison. She ran back into the kitchen and came out with a HUGE bowl of shrimp, already peeled and cooled and a tub of cocktail sauce. The biggest damn shrimp I'd ever seen. She put that at the beginning of the buffet.
"There's more, if we eat all these," she said. Oh we all loaded up. I ended up at the table with Brandon, our four kids, and Victor. We started to talk about building out the new racetrack/airport.
"Victor, how did you enjoy driving the pace car?," said Morgan. "Want to come run on our track when it is done? We have a nice Corvette ZR1 and quite a few other cars that you'd enjoy." Victor turned to reply and his eyes got big.
"I hadn't made the connection," he said. "Congratulations on the big win." That's when his eyes drifted across all four kids in a row. His eyes got big again.
"Oh boy," he said. "I guess congratulations goes to you all. I admit, I hadn't realized. You were so amazing in the movie."
"Nobody recognizes us and we love it," said Leslie. "We were really into those parts. People tell us that they don't even recognize us as the same people. I get it. That was a bitch to do, particularly the Broadway shows."
Everybody just nodded and the conversation went back to the new track. I told the whole story and everybody laughed.
"Wait," said Leslie. "The runway is long enough for the BFP? We're going to have to talk about that Brandon. That's going to affect the design of the runways and taxiways. We'll want a hanger to hold it too. I'm tired of it being outside, but that's a pretty damn big hanger."
"What in the world is a BFP," said Victor. We all laughed.
"Big Fucking Plane," said Leslie. "It's what we call our biggest jet."
"Your biggest jet?," said Victor. "How many do you own?"
"Well, I suppose that depends on how you count them," said Leslie. "Three. If you include Morgan's plane, then four. If you include Luca's plane, than five. I guess I'd count them all, since Mom and Dad really own them all."
"What are they?," asked Brandon.
"Well, the little plane is a Mustang. We use it mostly as a trainer when someone in the family learns to fly. Morgan and Luca both have G650s and we have a third one for the family. Morgan has a Cessna CJ4 too, but I doubt she flies that very often anymore. Oh, that's right. Six."
"Morgan has a G650? Isn't Morgan 16?," said Victor.
"Yeah, but Luca's 13 and he has one too, so he can go visit his Mom. Long story," said Leslie.
"Wait, you have three G650s and they're NOT what you call the BFP?," said Brandon. "They're the biggest, baddest private jets there are. What do you own, an airliner?" That broke up the entire table. Rather than answer, Leslie pulled out her phone. I know what her background image is. She passed the phone over. It's a shot of the BFP, with the ramp down.
"That's a fucking 747! If I am not mistaken, that's a 747-8, the biggest they make," said Brandon. "THAT is the BFP? Complete with a loading ramp?" Yeah, we all laughed again. Brandon passed the phone to Victor, who got a similar look.
"Damn," said Victor. "Who flies it for you?"
"We have a lot of pilots, but it's my plane," said Leslie. "Usually it is me or Chris the most." Brandon and Victor stared at her, then at Chris. They would used to it.
"Yeah, that is going to change the design," said Brandon. "But it shouldn't affect the date. That will be one damn big hanger."
"You are going to need WAY less work than I thought," said Brandon.
That's news I liked hearing. We toured the facility and then went home. We weren't in the house 10 seconds and Leslie and I were naked and standing in front of Brandon. Oops, that wasn't all. Orlando and Bob were naked too. We got a big smile out of Brandon. Chris walked in and waved us back to the bedrooms. Morgan was with her. Yes, they were naked too.
Sophia, Luca, and Elena were already in the bedroom. Naked.
I think we were going to kill Brandon by fucking him to death. Oh we tried. Orlando, Bob, Leslie, and I all fucked him in the ass. Yeah, yeah, Leslie and I had to use strap-ons, but still fun! At one point, Brandon was kneeling on the bed, with me fucking him with a double-ended dildo. He was going down on Morgan, and she was clearly enjoying it. I could see he was using his fingers and his tongue and even snaking a hand up to tweak her nipples. He was surprisingly focused, given I was pounding him pretty hard.
Oh, you didn't think that was ALL that was happening, did you? Next to Brandon on the bed was Bob, in the same position, but eating out Elena. Leslie was pounding him in the ass with a strap-on too. What about Orlando you ask? Well, I was in a position he liked. Yes, we were in a train with Brandon. Orlando wasn't just fucking me though. He was fucking me in the ass. Sophia was on the floor, being welcomed home again by Luca.
And that was just the start of playtime. Once Orlando emptied into me, I rolled off and Brandon just slid up Morgan's body and buried himself. It wasn't slow. It wasn't easy. He already had her going off and he just power fucked her until he came inside her. Oh, he was polite though, as he slid back down her body and cleaned her out. A lot more went on, but we'll leave it to your imagination. Let's just say I didn't leave the bed empty.
I needed a new car. Yeah I know I was stubborn about what I drove. I know I'd drive a lot of our cars but I loved my wagon. I had a local tuner with which I worked. I think he was having as much fun as I was. I'd hit the nines with a pretty aggressive tune and a tiny shot of nitrous but all on pump gas. Without tearing down the engine, the simplest next steps would be race gas. I talked to Brandon and made sure we had underground tanks for all the planes and two more. One premium and one unleaded 100 octane race gas.
I worked with my tuner and he remapped the tune to race gas. It would mean this was a dedicated drag car but that was OK. He talked to me about installing a parachute, but we had such a long strip, I didn't need it.
We ended up expanding the existing hangers. We had room for the BFP and a half dozen smaller planes. Leslie insisted we build it to hold another airliner. I didn't know why but she must have a plan.
Brandon had done the research and the existing runway and taxiways were fine. He said something about core samples but we were only a few days in when he declared the runway open. Now that was for VFR (visual) only as all the new equipment for automated landings wasn't installed yet.
Everything for the drag strip was ordered. Brandon had painted all the measurements. The equipment was going to be portable so we could setup the tree at the starting line and the finish at any of several spots. He was building the water troughs off to the side so they wouldn't affect the runway. Bob wasn't having anything to do with moving portable equipment and insisted Brandon just build the scoring equipment in at 1/4, 1/2, and a full mile. That way all three would be measured in a single run. Sure.
All was going well. The concrete for the road track and the oval was already being laid too. It was a mile and a half oval and a very complex road course. No landings during a race though!
Just because she could, Leslie flew the G650 over and made the first landing since 1953. I felt like we should have a cake or something. That really did make it sink in though. We owned an airport. An entire airport. Weird to a new level. I'd set out to build a small track and ended up with an airport.
Not that much later, it was officially done. It ended up being timed really well as Sophia had a 10 day long school break. They left as soon as they could and were the first plane to land under our new guidance system. Morgan later told us it was very cool. It was so great to see Sophia and Morgan so soon. There was a bit of a transformation as they were clearly a couple now. They weren't overt. It was more subtle but obvious to us.
They felt like soul mates just like Bob and me.
Leslie had insisted we be at our airport at 9AM, to meet Morgan. She didn't have to fight us that much, as we missed them both.
We were all standing in the hanger, catching up, when Leslie said we should go outside, as a plane was landing and we'd want to see it. We walked outside and saw it from a distance. As it got closer, it didn't look like any plane we'd ever seen. If a 737 and an F22 had a baby, this would be the plane. It was even painted in our livery. WTF? It landed and taxied over to where we were. My God it was gorgeous. I'd say it was a little larger than a 737, so pretty big, but not 747 big. The door opened and stairs folded down. The first person to emerge was Bill, the CEO of Boeing. Again, I have to say it, WTF? Two other people followed him out. Just then, another plane came in for an approach and it was a Cessna jet. I don't know the models that well, but something medium sized. It taxied over and out popped Bob, the CEO of Cessna. We hadn't seen either one in awhile, so they all got hugs. The two people that got out with Bill kind of stared. I doubt they saw their CEO get hugs from a lot of attractive kids before. We did the introductions and they were the test pilots.
Test pilots? They said they'd be on their way, and both went over to the Cessna and took off in it, leaving Bill and Bob behind. Leslie said they were staying for a couple days. Sure, why not. We all went in and sat down in the ready room. Of course we had a ready room, because this was formerly an air force base.
"So apparently this was a big surprise," said Bill. "Leslie and Chris look like the only ones that has a clue what is going on."
"Does that actually surprise you?," I asked, and Bill and Bob both laughed.
"No, not in the least," said Bill. "Leslie, do you want to do the honors?" She just smiled and jumped right in.
"I know you all wondered why I insisted on room for another airliner. The plane outside is that airliner," she said. "Boeing is much more advanced in their development of a hypersonic plane than anyone realizes. It's been kept under wraps. It just received its FAA certification. If you remember, Chris and I took that little road trip to California a few weeks ago. Well, we lied. We actually went to South Carolina, where this plane was built. We did tons of simulator time, then did our actual flight certification. I admit I spent a bit of money, but it is ours now." That last comment got a laugh from Bill.
"Yes, she spent quite a bit of money, although we gave her a screaming deal, as the PR for us is going to be outstanding. Nothing blows up the market like your daughters flying our planes. This was actually a collaboration between Boeing and Cessna," said Bill. "Our challenge isn't building it. Our challenge, so far, is building it at an affordable price. It likely won't release to the airlines for another five years. You have the only model off the production line. It's quite nice inside. The interior is about the size of a 737. There are two bedrooms, and then sleeper first class seats, and a nice living room. Leslie and Chris helped design the interior. Filled to the brim, it will fit 40. As an airliner, it will fit about 150, but that's not what Leslie wanted."
"OK, I'm fine that Leslie bought a plane, although not sure why she had to keep it a secret. I'm still stuck on the word hypersonic. What is that?," said Bob.
"She kept it a secret because we made them both sign an NDA, although we didn't mention we couldn't enforce it for an 11 year old," said Bill. "Until we got the FAA certificate, no one was allowed to know of the plane's existence. We had never had it take off or land in daylight and had only flown it over the Atlantic. We'd kept it a secret. Now we're going to make a splash with it, although that might not have been the best choice of words. As for hypersonic, I'll let Leslie explain that."
"Hypersonic means just that. Past the speed of sound. It's different than supersonic, as it is faster. Much, much faster," said Leslie. "This plane will cruise at Mach 6. It can burst for an hour at Mach 7, but that chews up fuel. Mach 6 is the sweet spot."
"For us humans, how fast is Mach 6?," said Morgan.
"Well, it varies a bit by altitude, but at the normal altitude this flies, it is about 4,800mph," said Chris. "At 100,000 feet."
Yeah, every eyebrow in the room went up, at least those of us new to the plane.
"What?," said Orlando. "That puts both London and Paris at an hour. What's the range?"
"Theoretically it could circle the globe," said Bill. "Really any point to point airport is in range. Once you're at speed, that high, the fuel use is quite low. Less than the 747. One other important thing is that unlike supersonic planes, this can fly over land. No sonic boom from that altitude."
"That puts Sydney at two hours," said Orlando. "Careful Mom, Dad's going to get on Zillow."
"Oh, I should mention, it has a ramp and can hold four cars," said Bob. "We designed it from the start as a multi-use plane. There will be miltary applications first. They'll take delivery earlier, as price isn't as critical." Chris bristled a little, as that was a pet peeve, but she kept her mouth closed.
"I'm in the mood for Thai food," said Leslie. "I hear there is a great little Thai place in Paris. Anyone want to join me for lunch? Although with the time change, it will be dinner in Paris. I could see doing this often."
Hell to the yes. We all piled on board. It was the six of us, Sophia and her two, and the two CEOs. We all fit comfortably in the living room. Leslie and Chris headed up front.
"You won't feel much difference," said Bill. "The only thing is that feeling of acceleration you feel on takeoff will be a little stronger and longer, as you're getting up to 100,000 feet. The transition to hypersonic is a non-event and you won't even notice." We took off and it was as described, but not long before the girls turned off the seatbelt light. New plane, new bedroom, Bob and I were going to christen it. We headed back. Sophia and Morgan went into the other bedroom with Luca and Elena. Well sure, welcome them home kids. Before we left, we saw Bill, Bob, and Orlando stripping. Some bro time.
The funny thing is that we didn't have all that much time. The time between the seat belt light going off and on was 28 minutes. To Paris. Holy Moly. This really did expand our range. Should I block Zillow now? We caused quite a stir when we pulled up to the FBO. This was only the second time the plane had landed in daylight and the other time was at our airport. Nobody but us saw that. The lounge emptied, and several police cars were blasting across the airport, where those weird French sirens blaring. Customs came out and were surprisingly nonchalant about clearing us. I guess they've seen a lot. They did ask to inspect the interior, but I suspect mostly so they could tell their family. The Director of the FBO came up, who we know quite well. Did he come to Bob or me? No, just no. He went straight to Leslie.
"What is it? What is it?," said the Director. Given it had a big Boeing/Cessna logo on the tail, it was at least identifiable as a Boeing. Well, and as a Cessna. Everyone was taking pictures, so I'm betting it will make the afternoon papers. It did.
"I'll let Bill explain," said Leslie. "Let me introduce you to the CEOs of Boeing and Cessna", which she did. They quickly explained that what it was, to the gathering crowd, and that Leslie had been the first buyer. Given she's pretty well known, across multiple circles, particularly of those that would BE at an FBO, no one appeared to even be surprised. With that, Leslie locked it up and we hopped in our helicopter and went to lunch. We landed on the apartment, which got the attention of Adrien and Brielle and their kids and spouses, all of whom were home. We invited them to dinner. It was such a joy seeing Anurat and May again, as we hadn't seen them since Thailand. Oh this plane was truly going to open up the world. Breakfast in Tampa, Lunch in Paris, Dinner in Sydney. OK, I have no idea of the time zones, but you get my point.
Then we introduced Bill and Bob to our Paris friends and their kids. You know. Introduced.
I found an amazing place in Melbourne. I'd done the time zone math, which was complicated. We had just had dinner in Paris at 7pm local time, which was just 1pm in Florida, so still early. If we left here at 8pm, we would land in Melbourne about 1030 Paris time or 430 in the afternoon Florida time, so still early.
That would be 630 in the morning local time. We could have a nice breakfast and meet the realtor early, say 8am. Buy the house by Noon local and we would have a place to sleep by 10pm Florida time. If we didn't buy it, we could find a hotel. We might have to even if we did buy it, as we might not get immediate occupancy.
Could we? Sure. Should we? Um, sure. I am confident Leslie would like to show off the plane some more and we would have a solid hour and half. But in the end, I didn't suggest it, as I like to look on Zillow. If I moved too fast, that wouldn't be as much fun, now would it. I saw Amy looking at me, with a twinkle in her eye.
"Going to look a little more before you decide?," she asked. Dammit. Well, yes. We headed out to the airport and took off right at 9PM. With flying time, we landed at 10PM. In other words, 4 in the afternoon. We'd left mid-morning, flown to Paris, taken a helicopter to our apartment, had dinner, then reversed the whole thing, and were home before dinner time. Well, our second dinner, but the first one was lunch. Damn, this is confusing. On the way back, Amy had asked Bill and Bob when Leslie would pick up her space plane. They both looked at each other with shocked looks, but realized Amy was joking. What's up with that? They don't have a space plane, do they? Well, if they do, Leslie will buy one.
The next few days consisted primarily of Leslie and Chris flying random people to random places. I didn't go on all the trips, until they wandered in and mentioned they had read about a restaurant they wanted to try in Moscow. Hey, I'd never been to Moscow. That limited it to just the five of us, as we had diplomatic passports, but I have to say, the borscht was fantastic. We were back before bedtime. Shit, this was addictive. At least Moscow was far enough that we got to have fun in the air. Amy sure drained me. Damn.
I do have a dilemma that is weighing on me. I'm running out of things to buy. Cars, boats, planes, houses. Bought them all. Even my blowing money makes money. Our wineries are throwing off cash faster than Antonio can invest it. Our exotic cars are appreciating. Every property we own has appreciated measurably.
We have homes all over the world.
My BBF program was supposed to burn money to help others. Instead it made me a few more billion. I can't give it away.
Rich person first world problems. Even Amelia is struggling with how to spend her new found fortune. She just doesn't want much.
I keep starting or buying things to keep busy too. They are quickly run better by someone else. I thought about finally going to college but for what purpose? I went and talked to the president of USF, but all I ended up doing was endowing a scholarship. That's good, for sure.
I was actually sitting in the shallow end of the indoor pool using my iPad. Think about that sentence. I'm in our indoor, Olympic size pool. The good news of that was the Ellen and her teammates were arriving later today for a long weekend visit. Since we had the pool now, they could keep training. Seth and Diego were coming with them. Amy and Orlando went to get them and the two of them spent a couple days in San Francisco. It is nice to have one on one time.
I was alone in the house right now. Normally our house was like Grand Central station. I hadn't been alone an hour ago, because Brittney and her brothers dropped by to see if any of the kids were home. They weren't but, um, I welcomed them.
Oh you want to hear about that?
You remember Brittney. 16 year old cheerleader? Now what man doesn't have a 16 year old cheerleader fantasy.
Particularly when she brings her 15 and 12 year old brothers? Both muscular athletes with thick cocks?
Picture me on all fours, next to Brittney. 15 year old Evan is pounding her. 12 year old Ricky is pounding me.
That's how it started. We'll just say I enjoyed all three of them. Just about wore me out.
Sorry, I just let my mind wander a bit. I couldn't come up with a single car I wanted but didn't have. Our boats went up to 475 feet. What, do I need to fill in the gap from the 131 to the 475? Well, maybe, but that's not the plan.
Note to self: talk to the people that built the 475 about other choices.
What about a country? We don't own an entire country. Could I buy something big enough to get the UN to recognize it? Oh, I'm not trying to avoid taxes or anything but I am curious if it could be done.
Feels like I need to buy a good sized island. First I searched on starting your own country. Turns out there are a lot of articles on the topic. It appears there isn't just land I could claim. Darn. The deal breaker seems to be getting the current country to give it up. Well that made sense.
I wandered around on my iPad for a while. I searched the most likely options based on my extensive research. Well if you define extensive research as less time than it takes for my fingers to get wrinkly in the hot tub.
I called Sota who, if you recall, is an attorney specializing in international law. It turns out I was not his first client to ask. Really?
"I had a client a few years ago that wanted to do it. We got as far as figuring out his best bet was Greece. They're in such financial difficulties that they're selling their largest undeveloped islands and I think they would renounce their rights for the right deal," he said. "But he wasn't rich enough to buy a big enough island and he ended up getting indicted before we got much farther. He is living for free now but prison wasn't his goal."
Well that sucks. He pointed me to an obscure Greek website that listed the largest government owned islands that could be for sale. Luckily they sorted by size. Might as well go big.
The largest was an island only 15 miles offshore from Athens. Well that's handy. It was huge. 15 miles by 25 miles. I did the math and that's 240,000 acres. Ok, I let Google do the math. Most of it was undeveloped but one corner had been built out by their military so it had a deep water marina and a small airport. Really? I don't know what the hell they planned on landing there but the runway was 12,000 feet long. I'm sure Brandon could check it out for us. It did say the runway was maintained.
It even had a small power generation facility with a combination of solar power and wave generated power. I had to look that up but basically it used the wave action to generate power. It had been built to handle up to 400 troops on the island. Probably enough to recharge my iPad. They'd even run underwater fiberoptic lines for communication. Those were included.
I checked the year around weather and it was very Florida like. Hot for two months in the summer. That's Ok. The website didn't have prices though.
Seemed perfect but since there was no price, I called Sota back. He said he would look into it. I told him I wanted to hire him to make it a country and if he was confident we could, I'd probably buy it. I did tell him to keep it quiet from anybody but me.
"Attorney client privilege Bob," he said.
"Yeah but be careful. Amy can read minds," I said.
"Noted," said Sota. "It is early so let me make some phone calls and inquire on the price and whether they'd give up rights. You think up a name for your country. Call you back shortly."
Well, I was partial to Amyland but I wasn't sure she'd go for it. I got out of the hot tub and went and worked out. Isaiah and Meili came back while I was working out and Isaiah pushed me through a harder workout. Damn that stung. We showered in the locker room and I just couldn't resist and dropped to my knees and took him in my mouth. Wow he stretched me out. He wanted more so he dragged me into the massage room. He pushed me on the bed and got the warm oil. Meili saw what was happening and got under me. You know what I mean. Let's just say we all got off at once. They cleaned me out but sent me back to the showers. Afterwards they gave me an amazing four hand massage.
I love massages. OK, a little off track there.
When I finished up, I realized that I'd missed a call from Sota. I called him right back. This was about important world events.
"Well, it can actually be done. I spoke to the right person in the Greek government and they not only agreed to renounce their rights, but they're willing to petition on your behalf for the EU to recognize your new nation. They will even make that and UN recognition a condition of the sale," said Sota. Seriously? I could really have my own country?
"It is 240,000 acres. With a ton of shit on it. How much do they want? It might be too much even for me," I said.
"A billion. US," said Sota. "$4,000 an acre or so. Big money but you make that every time you sneeze. If you are serious, you should do it."
"Well the pictures do look nice. Over 15 miles of beaches. All the infrastructure. We would have to build but it isn't far from Athens," I said.
"All true. If it makes a difference, they said they'd throw in one of the fast attack gunboats, complete with missiles. I don't know much other than they're 54 meters long," said Sota. "You would officially have a Navy which somehow makes getting recognized as a country easier. You do need a permanent population so you'd have to hire at least a full time caretaker."
I'd have a Navy. And a population. Oh hell, I'm in. I told Sota to work with Jason to make it happen. Then I promptly forgot about the whole thing.
"It is all done but the UN needs to know the name of your country and if it is a democracy or a monarchy. Are you the King?," said Sota. I had to laugh. Am I the King of my new country? Sure.
"I have no idea. I completely forgot about all this," I said.
"You're not changing you mind are you? Jason already paid," he said.
"No, no. It is cool. I'll tell Amy and we will get back to you shortly on the name," I said.
"You spent a billion dollars on a country and a Navy and didn't tell Amy?," said Sota.
"I told you. I forgot," I said. I was still in bed when he called. Hey, it was only 9:30. I wandered out into the living room looking for Amy. I found Leslie instead. It was tempting to turn right around into the bedroom, but I'd probably forget about my country again.
"Where's your Mom?," I asked.
"She's in the kitchen," said Leslie. I wandered in the kitchen, and sure enough, Amy was in there with Chris and Orlando. Luca and Elena wandered in. How handy.
"Hey, great, I need to talk to you all," I said. "If you were going to name a new country, what would you name it? I'm partial to Amyland." They all turned and just looked at me.
"You bought a country," said Amy. "An entire country?"
"Well, sort of," I said. "But it comes with a Navy, complete with missiles!" Yeah, that got me an even longer look.
"Missiles. Someone trusted you with missiles," said Amy. Yeah, I just grinned.
"Back to the question at hand, it needs a name and we need to decide if it is a democracy or a monarchy," I said. "I'm partial to a monarchy. You could all just call me King Bob."
Yeah, more looks. By now, Blake, Alison, Amai, and Luna had all walked in, quickly followed by Amelia and her team. Yeah, all of them gave me the same look.
"I am NOT calling you King Bob," said Amy. "But Queen Amy sounds nice."
"Yeah, and I'm Princess Leslie," said Leslie, laughing. Hey, she could be.
"Wait, you're completely serious, aren't you," said Orlando. I grinned again. "OK, start at the beginning."
I told them all the story and they did start to get excited.
"Can we at least go see it?," asked Leslie. Well, I guess we could. Sota told me the runway was fine up to and including the BFP and that Athens control handled it. I told all this to Leslie and we all trooped out to the helicopter. All of us. Our seven of us, and the eight more that were in the kitchen. No one was missing this. I reminded them to bring passports, as I would need to stamp them. Seriously, we should have them just in case. They all did, which I still find weird. Our lives, I guess, particularly with HPlane. It was a Friday, so Amy texted Sophia and Morgan to meet us. Why not? A short hop in their G650.
We got there first, but barely. We pulled off the runway up to a main building just as the G650 landed. Sota mentioned we had a couple that worked for us and lived on the island and that he'd checked with Jackson and surprisingly they were already 'OK'. Well good. Our landing must have caused a stir, because an ancient Jeep drove up with an amazingly attractive couple drove up just as we came down the stairs.
They introduced themselves as our subjects, and laughed. Then they really introduced themselves as Jase and Ileana.
"You must be King Bob and Queen Amy," they said. That got a rousing round of laughter, but hey, I think we are. They were a little confused when Morgan and Sophia got out of their G650, but not nearly as confused as by the HPlane. They invited us to walk around the airport with them, and said that there were plenty of Jeeps for us all to use. They said that they were told that anything on the island belonged to us. We walked into the hanger, which was huge, and off to the side was two rows of Jeeps. There must have been forty of them. Behind them were another dozen or so large Army trucks. Off to the side were two tanks. Yes, tanks. Amy looked at me and I just shrugged.
"I guess we have an Army too," I said. "Hey, I bought it without visiting, what can I say?"
"We were surprised when we were told it sold, because no one had come to visit in almost two years," said Jase. "We actually do live here, in the base commander's house. There are some barracks too, but nothing that you'd want to live in. I'm assuming you'll be building something?" We assured him we would be building a house.
"Are you going to live here full-time?," asked Ileana.
"Oh no," said Amy. "We're not completely sure why Bob bought it, but it is kind of fun. We understand that as soon as we name the country, the UN will recognize us. We do need permanent residents, so we're very hopeful you'll stay on. Is there somewhere we can sit down and walk through our compensation programs? Oh, before I forget, how do you get on and off the island?"
"We have a small runabout. It's pretty little, so we do get trapped when there is anything other than perfect seas," said Jase.
"Oh, we'll fix that. We'll get you something much nicer. We'll need to build a boat house and lift too," said Amy. Yeah, they were already starting to smile.
"Dad, I know the perfect name for our country," said Morgan. Cool.
"Dionysus," said Morgan. "He was the Greek God of wine. You and Mom own a ton of vineyards. He should be your spirit guide."
Jase started laughing. We all looked at him.
"No, no, it's perfect. Almost everyone that knows the God, even those that look him up, will see the winemaking connection," said Jase. "Only those of us that, um, know you better will appreciated the Roman version of the same God." Well all looked at him.
"Bacchus," said Jase. "The hedonistic God."
Yep, that's us. Hedonists. Just fucking perfect. We all agreed that Dionysus was the name of our country. I texted Sota that our country was Dionysus and it was a monarchy. Fuck I was going to be the damn King.
Amy suggested that she go off with them for a moment and explain everything, while we wandered around the hanger to see what we had. Then we could tour the island in the Jeeps. Or maybe a tank. Jase handed me a set of keys.
"You'll need those to explore," said Jase. "This one is for the armory. It's over in the corner behind the tanks. You might find it interesting."
OK, we went there first. You knew we went there first. We all walked in together. Holy shit. It was a gun store on steroids. Everything was well labeled and appeared brand new. It's not like I knew anything about this stuff. One whole section was handguns. Mostly Glock 17s, plus some Glock 19s. A whole rack of submachines guns. They were labeled MP5 and some had what looked like silencers. Oh good, we can have our own 007. Wait, could we? What looked to be cases of M16, M4, and M14 rifles. Stacked cases of ammunition. Some smaller and then some surprisingly large machine guns. Oh, and of course, our shoulder fired anti-aircraft missles. Somebody might want to take over Dionysus. This was crazy. We'd have to dispose of most of this. Who exactly do you call do come pick up a machine gun?
We were going to have to pass some gun control laws. Or have some fun blowing shit up. Not sure which yet. I'll talk to Queen Amy. I'm leaning towards blowing shit up.
We walked back out and locked up just as Amy, Jase, and Ileana walked back up. Jase walked us through the trucks. Several armored personnel carriers. Two armored ambulances. Well, that's good. Three Leopard tanks, and he assured us all the shells were in another locked room. He slid open a giant door into the next part of the hanger. WTF?
I'll let Leslie take over, as she apparently knew what all these were.
We walked around the helicopters and, holy shit, fighters. Not fighter. Plural. There were two F-16s. I climbed one of the ladders and, sure enough, these were F-16V, the latest Viper upgrades. Designed to fly support for F-22 and F-35. Jase unlocked a big double door and we walked in to the aircraft version of the armory. Missiles, missiles, and more missiles everywhere. Luckily everything was well labeled, as I've never flown anything actually armed. Air-to-air missles. Air to ship and air to ground missles. There must have been 200 missles in here. WTF were we going to do with missiles? Well, it's all good. We can't have Greece attacking our country.
This is just fucking nuts. I know, this is all just BS compared to our fun posts, but hey, it is kind of interesting. I was sure as hell taking up one of the F-16s today. I turned to Jase.
"Are the F-16s ready to fly?," I asked. He assured me they were regularly maintained. It turns out he and Ileana were certified mechanics on damn near everything in the country. He mentioned the Greek military had offered to continue to do more complex maintenance of all the equipment under contract if we wanted. He mentioned a figure that didn't sound that bad to me. Dad must have agreed, as he told Jase to arrange it.
"You're taking one up, aren't you?," said Dad. I just nodded. Both of ours were two seaters, so I asked who wanted to ride along. Oh I was teaching the other pilots to fly them too. I loved that Jase and Ileana didn't even comment on my flying them.
I said I'd fly slow, so we wouldn't need full compression suits, although there was an entire room of them. Well, maybe not slow, but no aerobatics. They all wanted to go, which we couldn't do, so we drew straws. Amelia won. She looked a little shocked that she won. I offered to let her back out, but she wasn't having that. Jase drove the tug around and pulled the first one out. I'd never flown an F-16, but it had the avionics from the F-22, so it should be easy. I did the pre-flight, with a little help from Google, and we climbed on board. I won't go into all the details, but we just took a short flight over the Mediterranean. It confused Greek ATC a bit, but they approved our flight. Fuck, this was fun. My own F-16.
Could I bring it home? Maybe not yet. Heck, I could always fly the HPlane over when I wanted to take it for a ride. I wonder what I could blow up. Anyway.
I parked it in the hanger and no one was there. They'd left a Jeep, with a note to head north. We hopped in and took off and yes, I can drive a stick shift Jeep. We caught up with them in a couple miles and they were parked on the beach. Everyone was wading in the water.
Naked. Damn, our own country. Oh yeah, we were naked soon too. I looked up and saw a dock. Coming in fast was what looked like the 475.
"Dad, is that Jenny?," I asked.
"Oh, yes. She and Charley were cruising the Mediterranean, so I had them run over to drop off one of the Midnight Expresses for Jase and Ileana. Might not be perfect, but it will work for now.
"OK, I get that, but why is there a naval ship already at the dock?," I asked.
"Oh, that's ours now," said Dad. "I already told you." Yeah, but I forgot the Navy. Makes sense, though. Can't have an Army and an Air Force without a Navy, now can you? We don't know shit about boats. Well, good thing Jenny was dropping by.
"Hey, since Jenny is here, we have bedrooms. Can we stay a few days?," I asked.
"Sophia and I have to go on Sunday evening, but that shouldn't affect anyone else," said Morgan. "At least we get the weekend with you!"
As we were talking, the 475 came into the dock, which was right next to the beach. We went through the standard stuff with Jase and Ileana. Clearly Mom had explained a lot, because they didn't seem that shocked. While I was watching, the rear garage opened. Wait, that door was BIG. What? As we watched, out popped a 52. Really? Our big boat gave birth to a pretty damn big boat? I looked at Dad.
"Oh, yeah, one of the reasons Jenny was over here was for a garage retrofit. We had to give up the library to gain a little height, but now the 52 fits. I thought we'd leave that too. That way Jase and Ileana would have choices and anyone that came to visit would too. I figured that Chloe and Ben would be here for a bit and need a place to sleep too," said Dad. Then he turned to Jase.
"Oh, you'll LIKE Chloe and Ben" he said. "They design our houses."
Behind the 52, out popped a 37. Not sure why we didn't just call the Midnight Express boats 37. Guess we do now. No duplicates in length yet. Odd.
Jenny and Charley docked the two smaller boats on this side of the dock behind the Navy ship. I guess it was time to ask.
"I'm still confused on why we own all this military equipment," I asked. He turned to Jase.
"it is simple," said Jase. "It was being retired soon. All of it except the F16s. I honestly don't know why they left those, but I've heard rumors they can't afford to train pilots or maintain the planes. I'm still unclear on why they left the missiles but they left all the other stuff too. Probably the same reasons. Too expensive to maintain, too expensive to dispose of."
"I knew we had missiles, but thought that was a joke. We really have missiles on the ship too?," said Dad.
"Yes, the ship has a complete stock of Exocet missiles. Oh and the torpedoes, of course," said Jase.
"Of course, the torpedoes," said Dad. Just then Jenny walked up with Charley. Everybody got big hugs and Dad started introductions. Jenny, Charley, Jase, and Iliena all laughed.
"We know each other. We spent last week here and it was glorious. Jase and I met when I was in the Navy and he was in the Greek Navy. This man can maintain and repair anything, from ships, to aircraft, to tanks. They're also GREAT fun," said Jenny. "He mentioned someone was considering buying the islands. He owes me $20 as I bet it was you and he insisted that would be too big a coincidence."
Wait. Did she say islands? Plural? Oh I gotta ask.
"Jenny, did you say islands? Dad said we bought this island," I said.
"I did. Just the one," said Dad.
"Oh no," said Ileana. "You bought four islands. All connected by bridges. This is the smallest one."
"I what?," said Dad. "This island is 25 miles by 15 miles. 375 square miles. How big are the other ones? Four? I bought four?"
Jase and Ileana laughed.
"You thought you only bought this one? No, you bought them all. I saw the documents," said Ileana. "I'll use square miles, but just a second." She pulled out her phone and brought up the calculator app. She did some math. A lot of math.
"The other three are about the same size so I'll use a rough average for convenience. This island is about 400 square miles. A little bigger than you said. The other three are about 750 square miles. Each. So you bought 2,650 square miles. They're all in a row at the north end of this one, left to right. They're all a little different too. The left island is gently rolling and has amazing beaches. The one in the middle has nice beaches but several plateaus and what is basically a mountain in the middle. See, you can see it from here," she said, pointing off into the distance. You could barely see a bump.
"Wait, that's ours? That's way out there," I said.
"Yes, about 100 kilometers. The bridge is short, so you own everything from here to there. The island on the right has beaches and a smaller mountain. It makes for a nice protected deep water port in the middle island. It was developed to be a cruise ship terminal but never went anywhere," she said. "Oh, there is a smaller mountain, more like a large hill, on this end of the middle island, above the beaches, just north of the port."
"1,696,000 acres," said Morgan.
"Bigger than 30 or so other counties," added Sophia. They both had their phones out.
"I guess the kingdom of Dionysus has arrived," said Dad.
It was starting to get dark and we were all hungry. Jenny must have read my mind.
"Why don't we go on board and have dinner. I threw a couple standing ribs in the oven on our way over," said Jenny. With that we all followed her on board. You know, past our Navy. Oh, there was lobster too. Of course.
Weird. Freaking weird. I think Dad might have overshot on this one.
I might have overshot on this one. As we got on board, I got a text from Sota.
"Watch CNN at the top of the hour."
It was almost that so I told everyone to go into the lounge and turned on the TV. Everyone found a place to sit. I ended up with Ruby on my lap. I wasn't complaining. She wasn't either, since my hand snaked under her skirt and I was discreetly rubbing her clit.
Wolf Blitzer came on the TV.
"To start the hour, we have an interesting story to share about the formation of a new country in the Mediterranean. The Kingdom of Dionysus was formed today from four large islands previously owned by Greece. The Greek government announced the sale and that they were renouncing their rights to the islands. They formally recognized the new nation," said Wolf. "The EU immediately announced they were too, as did the United States. Just moments ago, a spokesperson for the UN announced they were offering immediate membership to the new nation. We have little more information than that."
Cheers went up around me. Followed by lots of laughter.
"This has just been handed to me. It appears we have been provided the cell phone number for the new Queen of Dionysus. We don't even know her name. I doubt anyone will answer but we are going to give it a try," said Wolf. "We're not quite clear why the phone has a Florida number." Just then Amy's cellphone rang. She looked at me and I just shrugged.
"Shh. Quiet everyone. I'm going to answer on speaker," said Amy. She set her phone on the table.
"Hello, this is Wolf Blitzer, live on CNN. We are trying to reach the new Queen of Dionysus," said Wolf. I had quickly muted the TV, so there wouldn't be feedback. Before Amy could say anything, Amai held up her hand to stop her.
"This is her assistant. I sincerely doubt the Queen will be making herself available for interviews, but please hold and I will inquire," said Amai. She put the phone on mute and we turned the TV back up.
"As you heard, we have reached the Queen's assistant. We can only hope she will agree to a short interview," said Wolf.
"I'll do it," said Amy. "This is too much fun." No one even questioned why they would interview Amy and not me. Hell, even I didn't.
"Hello, this is the Queen. To whom am I speaking?," said Amy, very formally.
"This is Wolf Blitzer, live on CNN. We just became aware of your new nation and were hopeful to learn a little more. Our viewers and the entire world are interested," said Wolf. His face on the screen was hilarious. He was so serious.
"Yes well, thank you for inquiring. We were so fortunate to be able to make this happen. My husband and I and our children and have been working tirelessly to make this happen," said Amy.
Tirelessly? I bought it on a lark.
"We are so pleased to have been accepted so quickly by the international community. We will certainly accept the UN invitation and our ambassador will be in touch shortly. The King's court immediately approved her nomination. We will be holding the coronation ceremony shortly for our children, the three new princesses and the prince," said Amy, holding it together incredibly well.
"Can we learn more about your family?," said Wolf. Amy couldn't hold it anymore and laughed.
"OK, Wolf. I can't keep it up," she said. On the screen his face fell.
"Oh, don't worry. You're not being punked. This is all true. We are a new monarchy, which we prefer to kingdom. I am the new Queen and my husband is the new King and we do have three princesses and a prince. Seriously Wolf. Four kids. Three girls and a boy. In a family that can buy a country. You called a Clearwater cellphone number. You seriously cannot figure out who you are talking to?"
His face in the screen looked confused and then you could see the lightbulb go on.
"Amy? Is that you? Did Bob buy a country?," said Wolf. Everyone in the room laughed.
"Yes Wolf, it is I. Amy," said Amy, doing her best imitation of the beginning of Camila's Havana video.
"Is the whole family there? Are you actually in your new country?," said Wolf.
The whole room chimed in with "Hi Wolf."
"Yes Wolf, I did buy a country," I said. "I had to. Amy had blocked Zillow."
We went on chatting with him for a few minutes before he ended the segment. Amy turned off her phone because it started ringing incessantly. Once she did, all our other phones started ringing. We were going to all need new numbers.
Hey, will we get our own country code? I turned to Amai.
"Can you please arrange all the things a country needs? Stationary. We should have nice stationary. We need a crest too. And dishes with our crest," I said. "Ok, I have no idea what a country needs, but see if Chloe and Ben can fly over." It seems like maybe I wasn't focusing on the critical needs of a new country.
"I'll go get them," said Leslie. She turned on her phone and texted them both. She got quick replies.
"Cool. They can come right now. I'll be back in a couple hours," said Leslie. Chris got up too, and Ruby and Gabe followed them out. Oh, Ben and Chloe were going to enjoy the short ride back. I heard a Jeep fire up in the distance and not long after we heard the HPlane fly over.
We had a wonderful dinner and all caught up. By the time we made it through dessert, Leslie and crew were back with Chloe and Ben. For some reason it made me think of something.
"Amai, find out how we issue passports. Somebody has to manufacture them. We only need diplomatic passports for now. We can make all our friends dual citizens and issue them a passport," I said. I got looks from everyone, and Amy just shook her head but I thought it was great.
We weren't tired at all even though it was dark, so we welcomed Jase and Ileana to the family. Repeatedly. We're big on repeatedly.
The area for the hotel had been carefully cleared to leave trees and other vegetation. It was about a thousand feed up the smaller mountain, overlooking the Mediterranean, and the most glorious beach below. White sand stretching in both directions. There was a fully complete gondola lift with two large cars that held about 25 people. Fully automated and well maintained. Oh we took it up and down a bunch of times. There were manicured hiking trails and another smaller marina right on the beach.
Chloe was thrilled with the work they had done. They had completed the road up the mountain too.
"This is gorgeous. Are you sure you don't want to build a resort? You could make a fortune," said Chloe.
"Not now, but we don't want to rule it out," said Amy. Yeah, my input was no longer needed. I'll just listen and, you know, be Kingly.
"Why don't you build the main resort building as our house. Think the mansion in our real resort. Eight or ten apartments, a huge main entertainment room, and basically a restaurant. You know we love cottages too. Start with a half dozen of various sizes. Come on, Chloe. Why are you even asking?," said Amy.
"Well, it felt polite to ask," said Chloe. Yeah we had a good laugh. Just then I heard the unmistakable sounds of a helicopter and a gun ship flew up and landed. Well, that was a little startling until the door opened and Leslie climbed out.
"Just thought I'd say hi. Jase told me of a spot on the next island that I could blow shit up. I didn't want to startle you," said Leslie. That's when I noticed the helicopter had two missiles mounted.
"Well, be careful," said Amy.
"I will Mom," said Leslie as she climbed back on and took off.
Sure. The average soccer Mom has to tell their tween to be careful when firing missiles from the family helicopter gunship. Right?
But then I had an idea.
"I think we should christen the gondolas," I said.
Everyone seemed to think that was a fine idea. Oh, did I mention that almost everyone was with us? Except Leslie, as she was blowing shit up.
Although that didn't take long, since she joined us soon enough. It was loud though.
I'm afraid of heights, but Jase was kind enough to distract me by absolutely pounding me. I like trains.
Yeah, that was a bad segue until you realize I meant I was in the middle and pounding Ileana just as hard. Welcomed, remember?
Morgan and Sophia volunteered and headed off in a helicopter. They took the VIP transport. We weren't sure where we could land the gunships. They needed a paint job with our kingdom crest. Once we invented a crest.
They got back just in time for lunch and walked into the lounge on the 475 laughing. They walked around handing something to everyone, even Jase and Ileana.
Finally they got to me. They handed me my new Dionysus passport. Sota and Amai had found a company to have them made. Compete with our new crest. A wineglass intertwined in olive branches. I opened it up and it showed my smiling face. I heard Amy burst out laughing and figured out why when I saw my occupation.
King.
Well sure.
The kids all laughed too, even those that were not ours.
Sophia was the Minister of International Business. I'm not sure she caught it yet, but she was also a princess. Well done Amai.
Sota and Amai had appointed Chris as the UN ambassador and Orlando as the Foreign Minister. Leslie was the Minister of Defense. Of course she was. She liked to blow shit up.
Morgan was the Minster of Education.
All our kids were also listed as either Prince or Princess.
Ruby ran over and showed me hers. Apparently she is Countess Ruby. She is also the Minister of Fun. Yes, yes she is. I finally figured out all our extended family had peerage titles. The kids were Counts and Countesses. The adults were Dukes and Duchesses.
Sota had sent a note that he and Masako also knew Jase and Ileana and he felt comfortable giving them the title too. Well that was encouraging.
That's when I realized that we had left the US and landed here and never gone through Greek customs. I mentioned it to the group.
"You haven't set foot in Greece yet," said Jase. "You've only been in your kingdom. Sota did send stamps so anyone that visits can clear customs. They'll need the stamp to go back to wherever their home is. And yes, the stamp is your crest."
Yeah, I was going to ask.
"I landed in Greece but I came from the UK so I didn't need customs. It did take some explaining as to why I was landing in a helicopter with Greek military markings. Luckily I guessed what was in the box and found mine. Greek customs had all gotten an alert today about the kingdom so they were fine with it. They were really nice once they realized I was a princess. I'm a freaking princess," said Morgan. "Hey, I'm first in line for the throne too aren't I?"
"Maybe not," said Sophia, showing Morgan her passport. They cried. We cried.
Orlando was smart enough to not argue succession only for men. They would have chewed him up.
"Well, given the King and Queen are only a few years older, I don't see your reign coming that soon," said Alison. "Duchess Alison to all of you." With that she bowed, flashing us all in the process.
That sort of set the tone and lunch was temporarily put on hold.
At one point we took our ship out for a cruise. Yeah this one I call a ship. In the Dionysus navy. I think I'm an Admiral. I know Jenny is. We officially made her the Minister of the Navy and awarded her three stars. She couldn't stop laughing as it made her eligible for the officers clubs on bases around the world. As an Admiral. She said she'd work with the Bahamas team to design the greatest uniform ever.
Mine would have to have shorts.
There are a lot of details to running a country.
We ended up with the waverunners and boats all pulled up onto the beach and we built a campfire and roasted hot dogs for dinner. It was grand. Jase had shared that the island defense system included drone jammers and the airspace above was restricted so outdoor play was fair game. We had missed it. Maybe the best reason ever for buying a country.
Except for the sand. In uncomfortable places.
Oh, and our country had a defense system.
Morgan and Sophia had to leave that night so we had tearful goodbyes. Hey, I'm allowed to cry.
Morgan texted later that she had gone through customs with her Dionysus passport and it had been happily accepted. She liked it because it meant as a diplomatic envoy she wouldn't get speeding tickets. I reminded her they could expel her from the country and she promised not to use it for that. At least often.
But first I wanted to share about Sophia being a princess. She has always been one to me, but it really hit her hard. She didn't want to accept it. She was so torn up that our family -- her family -- considered her a princess. My words clearly weren't helping.
So I got down on one knee and proposed. Oh, this wasn't spontaneous. Well, a little. I'd been carrying matching rings around for weeks, but just hadn't found the right moment to do it. Yeah, I get I'm 16, but I knew. I just knew. Maybe we'd wait a bit to marry, but probably not. I want a real wedding, outdoors, at our place in Oxfordshire. Given winter just won't do, it was either soon or next spring. Fuck next spring. Wait. Maybe we'll get married in the kingdom. Oh, details.
I actually caught her off guard and she started bawling. At first I thought I had completely fucked up, until she pull me to my feet and kissed me. Passionately. In the FBO arrivals lounge at Heathrow. The entire place cheered. Hell, I wanted to strip her on the spot, but thought that might be a bit too much, even with diplomatic immunity.
We really didn't need to go through customs. We could have just landed at the Manor, but we thought it would be fun. Eventually it was, but at first.
Nope.
We got steered into this small windowless room and some officious dork wanted to grill us about this ficticious country and our fake passports. We just sat there. We were not going to fucking speak. After about 10 minutes, the door slammed open and some dude that must have been an important dude damn nearly ran in. The officious prick sitting with us went white and leapt to his feet. He was waved out of the room. He slunk out. If he'd had a tail, it would have been between his legs.
The new dude was super nice and apologetic. He called us princess and damn near bowed to us. Oh yeah, we are princesses. Fuck yeah. We let him off the hook and he was nice and he escorted us out to a special area and we got the first stamps in our passports. The funny thing is we headed back out to the plane and flew home to the Manor. By then it was late, and we went straight to bed.
But we didn't sleep for awhile. We celebrated.
The next morning we had to get moving, but we were both wearing our engagement rings. I didn't go too crazy, but they were both two carat flawless diamonds, so a bit showy.
Just as we were leaving for school, I got a text from Amai that the Manor was officially registered as the Embassy of Dionysus and sovereign to the kingdom. As she put it, we could do anything we damn well pleased under Dionysus law. Given there were no laws...
I guess we should tell the family about our engagement. We finally decided to do it the next time we saw them. Probably this weekend. At the Kingdom. I wonder how long it would be before Mom renamed it the Queendom.
The next morning we slept in again. I woke up to the most glorious smell in the world.
Bacon. Me loves me da bacon. Bob was gone already but Luca wasn't. Neither was Elena. They already missed their Mom. I cheered them both up.
Luca and Elena are attentive lovers. They might be young, but it isn't just about the fuck, particularly right after Sophia left. They focused on me. Elena so gently got me off to a truly powerful orgasm with just her fingers and tongue. She knew I needed to give as well and slid up and sat right down on my face. Luca entered me gently and truly made love to me, all while gently kissing his sister. Yes, they were facing each other. It was special and sweet and yes, we all got off spectacularly. Luca was going to clean me out, but I waved him off. Sometimes I just like to feel it inside me. We finished with a gentle kiss. I loved these kids.
Now for bacon. I headed out, and didn't feel the need for clothes. I think I was dripping, but well, who cares. I sat with Chloe and she said that a ship would arrive this morning with materials for the first few cottages. The resort building would take a bit but she could knock out a few cottages in a week. She mentioned she was building a larger new house for Jase and Ileana near the resort but right on the water. Secluded but close enough.
That got me thinking.
"Could we build some of those cottages on stilts in the water? You know what I mean, right?," I said. Chloe loved the idea and said she'd have someone research water levels and all those things.