Date: Sat, 11 Jan 2014 23:12:18 -0500
From: me <cbstorm15@gmail.com>
Subject: Unashamed

I dont know where to start with this, I'm asking for forgiveness in
advance. I've never done this sort of thing before, but it is something
I've felt i should do. I have a story to tell (well really, I could fill a
library with all the stories i have to tell), and i think now is the time
to tell it, and hopefully this will be a good place to tell it. as i said i
dont really know where to start, i could start at the beginning but after
reading the rules to post here i realize that i would be breaking a few of
them, and they are good rules. I guess im hoping that some of you will take
the time to read what i write and will email me letting me know what you
think, and depending on the reaction, ill write more. like i said, i have
lots to tell, it might be fuzzy, but maybe we can muddle through together.
i dont know how good of a story teller ill be.  what i write will be pulled
from my memories, and some of those memories are a little damaged.


i guess i can start with me.  my name is Nate, im 25 (going on 17) fit,
furry, fun. im one of "those" guys ive been told. the ones that have a
mountain of confidence, who are the life of the party, im wild and crazy,
unpredictable. im 6'1 160ish, well endowed, wink wink mostly top guy, one
of those try everything once, twice if i like kinda dudes.  im also madly,
crazily, mindblowingly, totally never thought it was possible or even REAL,
in love. when i say i didnt think love was real i mean it, its not some
post(ish) teenage "im gonna cut myself to FEEL" angst. i didnt think love
was a real thing, i thought everyone claiming to be in it where lying to
me, and to themselves.


i dont want to get into it here, but ive had a pretty ugly life. broad
stroking it, just picture a "childhood" of abuse (all kinds, and yes,
mostly THAT kind), followed by my formative teenage years spent essentially
on the streets (or worse). im not trying to evoke sympathy, I just really
am unrepentant. shit happened to me.  bad bad bad terrible awful shit, i
was living in darkness for most of my life, i was addicted to just about
every substance (some how, i miraculously have almost all of my teeth),
selling said substances, selling myself. I was in a very dark place until i
found the light, i was angry, bitter, pissed off at the whole world and
bound to do as much damage to it before I fell.


are you still with me?  good. i guess ive decided where i want to start my
story(s) here. i want to start with Elijah.

I met Elijah while i was working as a waiter in a semi nice restaurant.
Waiting tables has been pretty much the only job i could ever stick with
for more than 6 hours. i was still in the darkness when i met him.  i was a
very very angry guy, but i was able to hide it behind a mask. I had been
working at this restaurant for about 6 months, a record for me and i had a
lot of regulars, i was very popular. Me, being the incorrigible poon hound
i was (and frankly still am), had banged about 60% of the staff (male and
female, yes, i am very much bisexual) at the restaurant and several of my
favorite customers. One of these customers was a lady named Beth.  Her and
I had bumped uglies many times, she was a pretty decent lay, i knew she had
a son, and i knew she thought he was a, and i quote "faggot", but i had
never met him, didnt really think much about him even though he had been
home sleeping a few of the times i had come over. (sorry if i ramble,
please let me know about it, i have pretty crippling A.D.H.D. So far its
taken me almost 2 hours to write this much, if thats any indication)

Anyway, Beth would always come in on wednesday nights, she'd order, we
would flirt, and usually she would leave me a note telling me to come over
after i got out. ( i can go into her story if you want at some point, but i
think i saw somewhere on here that this site doesnt do straight sex) Well
this one wednesday she comes in with this kid behind her. He was(IS)
adorable. 5'2ish, 115 lbs soaking wet, dark curly hair, the gorgeous blue
eyes i still get lost into. .... where was I.  oh right, so she comes in
towing this kid behind her. (i say kid,  i call him kid, or kiddo, he isnt
a child, hes more mature than i am really,  i wont put down his age here,
dont want to get myself in trouble, but he was in his teens when i met
him..... still is .. cough... )

i can still remember how i felt when i first laid eyes on him. it was like
simultaneously getting electrocuted and ravenously horngry ( the word i use
to describe someone i want to fuck so bad it makes me hungry). i wanted
him, i wanted him so bad i could taste it. he was(IS) beautiful. i had to
have him, under me. squealing.  i nearly threw his mother out of the way to
grab his hand and shake it.

(when i add dialogue here, some of it might be word for word from my
memory, but i mean, come on, do you remember every conversation you have
word for word?)

"you must be Eli" i said "ive heard a lot about you(lie)" he was shy, he
wouldnt raise his eyes up to meet mine. he just smiled a little smile and
immediately started to blush. i could feel my heart beating faster, and my
dick starting to press against my tight work slacks. (i don't own a pair of
underwear).

His mother swatted me on the arm and asked me if i was going to seat her or
not. i collected myself, sort of, and gave her my best panty dropper smile
and brought them over to a table. i had several other customers to wait on,
and i must be honest, they all got less than stellar service, as i was
utterly distracted, taking every chance i could to sneak peaks over at my
boy. i knew i was going to have him. I took care of the needs of my other
customers and went to his table to get their order.  i asked Beth if she
was having the usual, and she said yeah, and then i crouched down and asked
Eli what he was having. his stupid annoying mother answered for him and
told me what he was going to have. he didnt say a word to me. i went back,
put their orders in and went about my rounds, doing what i had to do with
my other customers, constantly trying to get eli's attention, just a
flicker of eye contact, anything!  nothing. i was beginning to get annoyed.

Their food came up and i brought it to them and again tried to engage
Elijah in conversation, but every question i asked him, his mother would
answer for him. i was beginning to despair. i have a sixth sense for
knowing when people are attracted to me, even slightly, and i use this
sense to get in the pants of just about anyone i desire. i was getting
nothing from him.

we got a rush of people, and i proceeded to take care of them (keep in
mind, i still had an erection during most of this. Elijah still makes me
hard just being near me) i was in the middle of taking a big tables order
when i noticed Beth and Eli getting up to leave. Frantic i told the table
in mid order to hold on, (no, they didnt tip well, dont care, dont care at
all) and raced over as they neared the door to try one last time to get his
attention.  I told them thank you for coming blah blah and then put my hand
on Eli's shoulder, gently gripping it and told him it was nice to meet
him.  He FINALLY raised his eyes to me and smiled this adorable little coy
(not that he knew it was coy) smile and said barely audibly "thank you". i
found myself memorized by his lips, i wanted them wrapped around my meat. i
could feel my dick straining against my pants.  i wanted to take it out
right then.

"yeah, his birthday is friday, thats why i brought him" his mother told me,
gruffly.

"oh, happy birthday kiddo" i told him, hand still on his shoulder, i
gripped it again. thoughts of me gripping it as i held him down on the bed
while i drilled his little pussy racing through my dirty mind. He smiled at
me again, eyes meeting mine for a flicker before sliding back to the floor.
i let him go, reluctantly.

"alright, we gotta go, i left the check on the table" Beth said to me,
bringing me back to a colder, uglier reality. she took a long glance at
crotch, strained under the pressure from my dick and smirked at me. she
assumed it was because of her. i was furiously horny. i would have fucked a
hobo at that point just to relieve the pressure in my pants.

the rest of the night was a drag. i found their bill on the table with a
note from her telling me to come over at 11, but to be quiet because her
son would be home and sleeping.  She was much better than a hobo.


i think im going to stop here for now. this has taken me hours to write
(pathetic i know) and i think i would rather get some feedback on this than
spend another 3 hours writing more and having no one like what i write.

i really hope you like this. i know im kind of spastic when i write, i just
have like 100 things flying through my head at 1000 miles an hour, and i
write like i talk/think.

my email is cbstorm15@gmail.com,  i really look forward to hearing from you
guys