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With a Little Help
Part 1: Gemini
Chapter 6: The Lovers; or, the Flood
Donny kept looking over at Jake while they walked along. They were holding hands again, and whenever they passed a house with a porch with people on it, Jake smiled and waved to them and they waved back; and Donny wasn’t sure if he could believe any of this. He kept waiting for something that kept not happening: Someone to shout, Hey, look at the queers; or Hey, there’s a couple of pole-smokers; or Hey, homos, you off to pack some fudge; or Hey, you faggots should fucking die.
Jake smiled at Donny whenever he looked his way. In a while he said, “We’re just about there.”
“Okay,” Donny said.
“We’re gonna have to work out what to do about bed.”
“Yeah. You gonna crash on the sofa, or with me?”
“Well … um, which do you want?”
“Depends,” Jake said. “You gonna kiss me again?”
“Yeah! Um. I mean I—”
“With me, then,” Jake said.
Donny stopped. “Jake.”
The older boy turned to him. “Yeah?”
“What’s … happening here?”
“You’re coming home with me,” Jake said, and stepped closer to him. He put his hands on Donny’s waist. “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Well yeah … but … but…”
“Yeah but what, man?” Jake said. He was very close now, his whispered words soft on Donny’s lips.
“Are we gonna … I mean, you and me, are we gonna … um, like, you know … make it? Or something?”
“That’s what I had in mind, yeah,” Jake said. “Is that all right with you?”
“Oh God.” Donny swallowed. “Yes. But … why?”
Jake smiled. “Because I like you.”
“But … why?”
Jake blinked at him, then shook his head. “Man. Wherever you came from, they did a number on you, that’s for sure.” He kissed Donny, tinglingly, briefly, then took his hand again, and they resumed their stroll. “I like you, and I want to make it with you. Isn’t that enough of a reason?”
“I just … I mean … I never…”
“Oh,” Jake said, sounding surprised.
“No, no, I don’t mean I never … I did, I have … what I mean is I never … it’s never been this, like, easy.”
“You saying I’m easy?” Jake said. “A boy-whore?”
“Huh? No! No, I—” but Jake was laughing. “Jeez, man.”
“Got you good. Look, Donny. You’re new here, brand new as of yesterday, so maybe I’ve been pushing things fast. But you’ve been eyeing me since we got you out of the water, you came on to me like a freight train at the Hot Pot, you kiss like no other dude I’ve ever known, and you are just so … fucking … cute. I want you, man. I want your body. I want you inside me. Do you want me, too?”
“Hell yeah,” Donny said.
“So we agree. The rest is … well, let’s just say it’s all over but the shouting.”
Donny nodded and they walked on slowly. “Jake?”
“Are you gay?”
Jake snorted. “I plan to spend half the night with your dick in my mouth, and the other half with it up my ass. You tell me.”
Donny smiled. “Okay. Me too.”
“You too which part? The being gay part, or the my dick in your mouth and up your ass part?”
“Yes,” Donny said, and Jake laughed with him, pleased. The kid was finally starting to loosen up a little. “I never actually … said it before, you know? Out loud, I mean. I mean … I’m gay, Jake.”
Jake nodded slowly. “Well, I’m gay too, Donny, and I plan to prove just how gay I am with you tonight. I mean I’m gonna get gay all over you. And I hope you get your gay all over me.” He leaned over and pecked Donny’s cheek. As he did that, he slipped his hand around his waist and into the back pocket of his jeans. “And thank you. For coming home with me, and for letting me be the first one you ever told you were gay. Both of those things mean a lot to me.”
“Oh. Thanks for…” Donny gestured vaguely. “Well … everything.”
“Mmm. Have you made it with a lot of dudes?”
“Five,” Donny said, “not all at once,” and they laughed. Donny reached around, barely believing he could do this, and patted Jake’s beautiful ass. He left his hand there. The muscle flexed under his fingers. “Have you … um … you know, with a dude?”
Jake’s hand was warm on his butt, the fingers squeezing gently. “Yeah. Of course.”
“More than five.”
Donny got quiet. “Oh.”
“But I won’t be thinking of anyone else tonight.”
“…Yeah, me, uh, me too. Um. Do they … are they from around here?”
“They are,” Jake said.
“Huh. Well, cool. Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Not right now,” Jake said.
“Oh,” Donny said.
“…No,” Donny said.
“Oh,” Jake said, and squeezed his ass again. “Well, let’s just see how it goes tonight then, huh?” They walked in silence the rest of the way, and for Donny, it was like being high all over again.
= • =
Jake’s home was just one of many unassuming two-storeys on Altmount, a quiet residential street off of Aaronson, which in turn was something like the main avenue off Brooker. The house was one of the narrow-but-deep kind, larger inside than its face suggested, and was brick-and-wood, well-maintained. It was set back from the sidewalk behind a front yard that featured a stone path to a covered porch, with one side of the yard covered in lawn, the other side a well-tended vegetable garden. In these respects it was like almost every other house they’d passed.
Jake’s mother and father were both home, and Carolyn filled the boys up with roast beef sandwiches on fresh-made bread, leaving the two of them alone in the kitchen for a while. Donny was all eyes, looking around himself. Most of the houses he’d seen were made of the same tan brick as County Hall and Brooker, and Jake’s house was no exception; he wasn’t an expert on architecture, but he got the impression it had been built in the late 1800’s. Carolyn’s décor choices seemed to run toward mellow dark woods, earth-toned ceramics on the floors and countertops, and lots of family photos on the walls. It was rich but not kitschy, and contrasted starkly with what his own ticky-tacky suburban house had looked like after his mother’s death; his father had given most of her things to the Salvation Army, and not redecorated afterward. What remained were large expanses of empty floor space and blank walls. Here, there was a sense of things having been chosen with care and attention, and regularly attended to by dustmop and polish.
The sandwiches didn’t last long, and as Jake got up to set the plates in the sink, his dad came in and headed toward the fridge. “I take it you’re the young man Jake was telling us about earlier,” he said.
“Um,” said Donny. “Probably?”
“It’s hard for me to keep track too,” Jake said. “I’m always talking about some dude or other. Donny, this is my dad, Thomas. Dad Thomas, this is my Donny, Wilson.”
“Meetcha,” Thomas nodded, pouring himself a glass of rich dark beer from a growler. He waited for the head to rise and the bubbles to settle, then sipped, eyeing Donny. “I’m functioning under the assumption that Ray Travers knows your whereabouts.”
“He does,” Jake said. His father nodded and returned the jug of beer to the fridge. Jake propped an elbow on the man’s shoulder when he turned to face Donny again. He stood half a head taller than Thomas, but was in no way wider; Jake’s dad was robust, very broad across the shoulders, and looked like he could’ve built this house entirely on his own, carrying the bricks on his back. All of them at once. “I had it in mind to extend him some hospitality tonight.”
Thomas nodded at that. “I had a feeling, and sooner rather than later. You’re welcome to stay, of course,” he said to Donny. “A warm bed in a comfortable home’s always going to be better than any lockup.”
“I … thank you. Very much.”
Carolyn came into the kitchen. “Thomas.”
“Mmm?” he said, sipping.
“You came in for your beer five minutes ago.”
“And I got it,” he said, lifting the glass.
“Shoo,” she said. “Get. Leave the boys to talk in peace.”
“You’re underfoot. Remember how my sisters were when you were courting me?”
Thomas sighed. “Yes, dear.” But somehow, by the way he said it and the look in his eyes, it wasn’t aggrieved or dismissive. He ruffled Jake’s short-cut hair and left, squeezing Donny’s shoulder gently on the way past.
“I’ll be out of your hair now too,” Carolyn said. “Anything particular you like for breakfast?”
“Uh.” Donny thought for a moment, which wasn’t easy. Between his intense lust for Jake and the surreality of this scene — friendly people, a comfortable home, and a warm welcome — he was in freefall, and wasn’t sure he could sustain any sort of rational conversation. “Well, waffles, I guess.”
“Easy enough,” Carolyn said. “Anything special on them? Whipped cream? Fruit? Plain old syrup?”
“Buh … blueberries?”
“Done and done.” She kissed Jake’s cheek. “Sleep well, when you turn in.” She went to Donny and patted his face. “You too, honey. I’m glad you and Jake are getting along.”
“Um, sure,” he said to her retreating back. “Thanks.”
“Alone at last,” Jake said, taking a chair and settling it right beside Donny. The kiss was good, deep and long and warm, an invitation and a promise. It was followed by another, the same with extra of everything, and then Jake studied him. “Wanna neck a while, or just go straight to bed?”
“Bed sounds good,” Donny managed over the gallop of his heart. “But not the straight part.”
“My kind of dude,” Jake grinned, and kissed him again, and led him by the hand upstairs.
= • =
The stairs gave to a small landing. Jake’s room was at one end, with a minuscule bathroom just adjacent to it. Neither of them was very focused on facilities right then; Jake closed his bedroom door, pushed Donny against it, and then his tongue was halfway down his throat, his hand on the front of his jeans, stroking him with rising need. Donny returned the kiss and deepened it, and got Jake out of his pants. “Oh my God,” he murmured, looking down. “You’re huge.”
“I’m inspired,” Jake said, his lips busy, his hands busy.
Donny went on staring and stroking, mesmerized by an eight-by-two uncircumcised marvel of modern biology. He let out a faint moan of unalloyed lust, knelt and wrapped his lips around his prize, and went at it with a raw hunger he’d never felt able to express before.
Jake pulled him away right when he was about to lose it. “Fuck me,” he gasped, all but ripping his clothes off. “Fuck me right now, kid. As hard and deep as you can.” In less than a minute Donny was naked, and then he was inside Jake doggy-style, and then there were flashbulbs going off in his eyes. Jake turned to him while the caught his breath and pushed him back onto the bed, got Donny’s knees hooked over his elbows, lubed up, and slid all of himself in without any fuss at all. They grunted and heaved together, and sooner than either of them expected, Donny was filled by Jake’s fluid along with his flesh. “Oh fuck that’s good kid that’s good,” Jake gasped, “oh fuck yeah that is so good,” and kissed Donny hard.
“Jesus,” Donny panted. They were both still wearing their socks, and his were just about knocked off. “I guess you needed that.”
Jake smirked. “I guess it was mutual.” He kissed Donny again. “I think it’s gonna be a good night.”
“Has been so far.”
“Mmm.” Jake pulled out, then nestled in close, naked and good and warm, and they drifted for a while in the ease of afterglow, waking fully again when Thomas and Carolyn went to bed too, the risers and floorboards creaking a little as they went up the stairs and to their own room, at the other end of the landing. The door latched quietly but firmly. Jake kissed Donny and sat up. “What say we rinse off a little, maybe get a snack, and then pick up where we left off?”
“You … want to do it again?” Donny said.
“I told you, man. I want you in me in both places. We’re only halfway there. Unless you’re too pooped to pop.”
Donny stared at Jake’s trim, magnificent body, picked out in the glow from moonlight and low-key streetlights, his smooth-shaved skin and taut muscles cast in tones of bronze and silver and dusky onyx. “I…” His voice squeaked and he cleared his throat. “I do not think that’ll be a problem.”
“Groovy.” They pulled on boxers and weren’t in the bathroom very long before they were downstairs in the kitchen again, putting together a midnight repast of cheese, fruit, and nuts. “So,” he said as they munched. “About this boyfriend question I asked earlier.”
“You in the market for one?”
“You bet I am,” Donny said.
“Good. I know a couple guys on the team who’re looking, and—” Donny snorted and punched his shoulder. “Hey now,” he laughed. “Is that any way to treat your sweetheart?”
“I think you’ll survive.”
“Pff. I’m a delicate shrinking violet, didn’t you know that?”
“You sure weren’t shrunken earlier.” Donny leaned in and lowered his voice. “You’ve got the biggest dick I ever had, man. I didn’t know if I could take it all.”
“Oh, you don’t need to flatter me to get into my shorts. Just put your lips together and blow, and I’ll come.” They shared a giggle. “I’m serious, though, Donny. I mean … if you’re into it, if you’re into me, I’d love like hell to be your number-one guy.”
Donny really hadn’t thought the night could get any better, and was delighted to be proved wrong. “Yeah. God yeah, Jake, you bet.”
“Right on.” Jake took his hand. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re so cool.”
“I don’t know why I am,” Donny said. “I mean … it was never like this back home. Just … meeting a dude, and hitting it off, and…” He shook his head. “Maybe I’m still feeling whatever’s left of Maggie’s pot or something. But I just … I feel right with you.”
“You were feeling me right before.” He squeezed his hand. “I don’t think it’s the pot.”
“Well, what do you think it is?” Donny said, biting into a strawberry.
“For starters, you’re red hot, and I can see that,” Jake said. “So maybe you’re kinda, I dunno, picking that up from me? How bad I’ve been wanting to get with you from the start?”
“No, that’s not — wait, seriously? You think I’m hot?”
“Oh my God, Donny,” Jake said, rolling his eyes. “You think I come that hard, that fast, and that much with every dude?”
“But I … I threw up on you.”
“Not recently. Besides, that was after the artificial respiration.” He winked. “And maybe a kiss or two to wake up the handsome prince with.”
“You didn’t,” Donny laughed. “I thought I dreamed that.”
“Not … well, not exactly, but once I knew you were breathing, I might’ve let my lips linger a little longer than was really necessary, according to the Red Cross.” His fingers, gentle, left a light golden-warm trace down Donny’s cheek. “You’re fucking gorgeous, man. And then when we were at the Pot and you laid one on me, I just about lost it right there in my pants. I mean, I really could not believe my luck. Gorgeous, groovy, and gay.”
“Oh.” Donny munched an almond absently. Jake couldn’t believe his luck? “Wow. Um. Thanks. But, I mean…” He gestured vaguely at him. “I mean, I know the mirror in your bedroom works, so you must have some idea what you look like. You’re … like … basically a sculpture. You could get with any dude you wanted to. I bet even straight guys would make an exception for you. What the hell do you want to be with a scrawny rat like me for?”
“You’re not scrawny everywhere,” Jake said, reaching to make his point with a gentle squeeze. “And you’re in plenty good shape. I felt how hard you were putting it to me before. That’s muscle, man. It might be wiry and lean, but believe me, it’s good and tight. Besides, even if you didn’t already have a hot bod and a hefty dick and a pretty face, Donny, I’d still want you. There’s just something about you that makes me want to put my mouth all over you. You ever get that? You just look at a dude and all you can think is holy shit, get inside me right now.”
Donny stared directly into Jake’s eyes. “Yes,” he breathed.
Jake giggled. “I like how you hint at stuff. It’s subtle.”
“Like a baseball bat.”
He laughed and stood, still holding Donny’s hand. “Let’s go back to bed and do what we both want to do, all right? I’ve had the nuts and the fruit. Now I want the creamy filling.”
The 69 went on longer than the fucking had. They both wanted to make it last, and their prior activities had taken some of the pressure off, so there was less urgency — at first, anyway — and more time to explore, relish, and enjoy. Donny was no stranger to this any more than Jake was, but for the first time in his life he felt able to think of what he was doing as more than just sex. Jake’s penis wasn’t much different from any other he’d had in this way — barring matters of foreskin and scale — but it was Jake’s penis, which made all the difference.
No, no; it made some of the difference. Some more of the difference was the ongoing sense of revelry, of celebration, he was discovering in Jake’s bed, in Jake’s arms, nestled happily between Jake’s thighs. All his experiences in the past of boy-on-boy sex had taught him that it was a furtive activity, something done in secret and shame, a perversion of what was good and decent. There was none of that feeling with Jake. It was simply two people who were powerfully drawn to one another, enjoying the freedom to act on their attractions without any inhibitions.
He was not having sex with Jake. He was making love with Jake.
It went on and on, slow and worshipful at first, then with building heat and anticipation. They both had skills, and they used them all on each other, tongues and lips and hands and bodies rocking together in synchrony until each knew the other was at his limit; and with perfect wordless agreement, they both shot past their limits and into fusion. Donny knew this as well, the steely hardness, the swelling crown, the deep pulsing, the rising surge, the burst of slick warmth across his tongue. The first spurt was salty and bitter; after that, Jake’s flood was a mild, slightly peppery flow, copious and good, the surges timed so perfectly with his own that he felt like he was coming in his own mouth.
They groaned through the finish together and eased each other down, making it all last just a little longer, before falling back, swallowing, licking away the residue. Jake swung around at last — his feet had been resting on the pillow by Donny’s head — and nestled up against him once more, delivering sweet light kisses that tasted of cum and joy. “God, you taste good, kid,” he breathed. “Tart and strong. I love flavor in a dude.”
Donny let out a low chuckle. “Have you thought about bottling your recipe? Cause I’d like to have it on my ice cream from now on.”
“Any time, man. Any time you like.”
They cuddled more, kissing from time to time, caressing, snuggling, falling for each other, each knowing the other would catch him. Donny was in freefall again here in the scent of his new boyfriend, in his warmth and his bed and his arms. He was still giddy with endorphins and bewildered at how fast and how much everything had changed for him. Just two days ago he’d been crushingly miserable, felt utterly isolated, had wanted to end his life. Now his heart was singing. “God,” he murmured. “This … thank you. This is the best night of my life.”
Jake stirred and kissed the top of his head. “It was pretty damn special for me too, man. You’re … really good in the sack, you know?” He drew his arms tighter around him. “I mean really good. Just about sucked me inside out.”
Donny smiled up at him. His head was resting on Jake’s really rather actually something very chest. “You too.”
“Mmm.” He ruffled his hair. Donny sighed and lay his ear against his chest once more, listening to the lubdub of his heart and the susurration of his breath. “So,” Jake said into the warmth they had made in the dark. “Tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
Jake sighed. “Tell me what a beautiful boy like you is doing trying to rob the world of his magnificence by drowning it at the bottom of a lake.”
“Oh.” Donny got quiet.
“I know I’m being nosy,” Jake said. “But I’ve got two doses of you inside me now, and I want more, and I’ve discovered that you matter to me a lot. I don’t want you killing yourself, or even trying to do it again.”
“I won’t,” Donny said.
“Good.” Jake’s arms tightened. “I mean it, Donny. I care. I want to help if I can, even if all it means is me listening to you.” He kissed Donny’s brow. His voice was as soft and sweet as his lips. “Tell me.”
Donny swallowed and wiped his eyes. Jake waited.
It wasn’t easy. Here in Jake’s arms, the warmth of afterglow combined with the warmth of the older boy’s strength and goodness, and he felt safe for the first time in a while; but he was revisiting a deep dark place within himself, and the words, when they came, were slow at first. Then they were a flood.