Date: Thu, 1 Jun 2000 21:38:33 EDT
From: LissaAGreen@aol.com
Subject: Chapter 4 A Love So Blind

ch 4

I stayed in Lance's arms for a while longer until I herd a low breathing
sound. I looked up and sure enough he fell asleep.
I hated to wake him but I needed to get home.
I started to kiss him neck, his nose and finally his lips.

"Well if it isn't prince charming?" He said when his eyes flew open. "what a
nice way to wake up. I'm sorry for dozing off" "it's ok, I'm sorry I'm so
boring." "Boring?! Your anything but boring. What time is it?" "Seven
o'clock. I hated to disturb you but I need to get home, not that I want to,
just I told my parents I'd be home early." "it's okay. I'll get my keys and
be glad to give you a ride."

The ride home was in silent. I think we we're just happy to be near each
other we didn't need words.
I told Lance that I'm sure my family would love to have dinner with the group
tomorrow night. Then the thought hit me. My family! What was I going to tell
them?
I was their only son, and now I'm bringing my boyfriend home to meet mom and
dad, only they didn't know Lance was my boyfriend but did we actually start
dating? I mean sure we kissed and we said we cared for each other is that how
it starts?
What was my parents going to say? What was Sandra going to say? What we're
Lance's friends going to say?

"You okay Jason?" "Yeah I'm fine, just thinking." "Well don't let me catching
you do that too often, you might hurt yourself." I knew he was kidding, but I
didn't laugh. I was too nervous.
"Sorry Jas, I was joking." "I know." "Did I do something to make you
nervous?" "No! it's not you. I'm sorry." "it's all right. If you want to take
thing slow I understand." "oh it's not that at all, I was just thinking about
my family. Does anyone know that your,?" "The rest of the guys do of course.
It was hard at first they gave me the silent treatment a little at the
beginning, but they came around. and I think my parents have an idea that I
am, but I never openly admitted it to them." "I went to tell them about us,
but I want you with me, will you be there with me?" "Of course I will! Your
ready to tell them now?" "No, But I was thinking tomorrow night at dinner."
"If your sure Jas, I will stick by you."

Lance pulled over and parked in front of my house. It looked dark except for
the porch light and a little blue glow from the window.

"Call me tomorrow, all right Jas?" "You bet. Hay Lance?" "Yeah?"
I leaned toward and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"I love you." "I love you too. good night Jason." "Good night"

But I didn't have a good night. I had another nightmare much like the one I
had the night before.
I never had dreams before, never mind nightmares. I wondered if Lance was
having them as well.
I decided to give him a call, in hopes I don't wake anyone up.

In the hotel room

"Hello?" "Is Lance still awake?" "Yeah I think so who's this?" "it's me
Jason." "Oh hay Jason, I'll get it right one of these days. Looking forward
in seeing you tonight, err tomorrow night, hold on. Lance Jason's on the
phone." "Thanks JC. Hay Jas what's up?" "Well I am for one thing. Sorry if I
woke you though." "Nah, just finishing up some stuff. Haven't been able to
sleep lately. You did wake up old sleepyhead though." "Sorry." "It's okay,
he's already back to sleep. You all right?" "yeah, just wanted to chat. What
are you doing?" "Going over the schedule for the next for months." "Sounds
like fun." "Yeah well, it's my job. I found this really nice restaurant in a
guide book. I was thinking of taking you there sometime, if you'd like to I
mean." "Sure that's sounds nice. I was thinking about what you said this
afternoon, about your ex-boyfriend," "Yeah?"
Lance sighed heavily. He sounded sad when he said that.
"I was just curious about what happened why he's after you, but if you don't
want to talk about it I understand." "I promise I will tell you. But it's
just a part of my life that I want to get rid of. but now that your in my
life you deserved to know what happened. But I just can't talk about it yet.
Can we let it slide for now?" "Of course. You don't even have to tell me. I
just wanted you to know you can talk to me about anything even if it's
something the guys might not understand." "Thanks Jas. have I told you that I
loved you yet?" "Not nearly enough. I love you too."
I herd him yawn at the other end of the receiver.
"You know if I love you too much I'm going to put you in a coma, why don't
you go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." "Okay, only if you get some sleep
too. Good night Jas." "Good night."

I hung up with Lance I was feeling pretty good. I finally found what I felt
everyone else had. Love. I still didn't know what to tell my parents but I
figured that could hold off for now. I had up to dinner to think of what to
say.
But now I could fall back to sleep without any more worries, well less then I
had anyway.

That evening my family and I dressed our best. I wore a white buttoned down
silk shirt with a pair of black jeans.. I put on a little cologne. My family
was still getting ready so I figure now was a perfect time to go over what I
was going to say to my parents that evening.
I written what I was going to say on index card. I looked over each card
carefully.

I was interrupted by my little sister.
"Sorry I forgot to knock. Mom and dad are ready, are you?" "Yeah, just give
me a minute." "Is that a love note?"She asked looking at the cards. "You can
say that. Come on lets go."

As promise the limo was waiting for us outside. It was the first time I ever
been in one and it was beautiful! I can't even describe it in words.

"Oh my! I love this! I feel like Cinderella!" cried my sister "Didn't she use
a coach?" "Yeah, but this is more elegant."

The ride to the restaurant was in silence. My parents complimented the limo
driver and the limo itself but I was thinking of what I was going to say to
them once we got to the restaurant.
The driver pulled up to the front of the restaurant and their stood Lance
waiting for us.
He looked really good (like always) suddenly I felt under dressed.

"Good evening Mr. And Mrs. Kerrens. The rest of the guys are inside, I wanted
to wait for you." "Thanks Lance," I said. "May I compliment you on your
elegant taste Mr. Bass." said my mother. "Well actually I didn't really do
anything,"
it was so cute he was blushing!
"Sandra, I saved you a seat next to J, in case that's where you wanted to
sit."
"I think you made her night Lance." "Well, the little I can do, the better."
"Mom dad, go on in, I want to stay outside for a bit." "Okay, don't stay here
too long." "I won't mom."
I watched and made sure the close was clear of parents before I pulled Lance
in for a kiss.
"It's going to be hard not being to do that to you tonight." I said. "Don't
worry, we have all week. Have you thought of what you were going to say to
them?" "Yeah, sort of. I wrote it down I just hope I don't screw it up."
"Maybe I can borrow those notes when I tell my parents." "Well I think it's
now or never." "If your ready, lets do it."
I gave Lance another kiss before going and he returned it. I prayed to God
that everything will be all right tonight. And hoped that I still have a
family after tonight.