Date: Sun, 9 Feb 2003 16:39:49 -0800 (PST) From: Jason Calme Subject: Boy Bands: All the Ways I Love You - Chapter 19 All the Ways I Love You This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex. You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence. This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person. Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author. Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com" Chapter 19 "Do you need something dear?" my Mother called to Cam. "Uh...uh..." his eyes cast about looking at Justin and me, then back to my Mother. "Simon said to tell you Ben forgot his pajamas." "Doesn't Simon have something he can..." and then she paused and thought better of it. "Oh I'll be there in a minute." "Okay," Cam said, glancing back at us and then turning and running back up the hall. I glanced at Justin, who looked at me with a questioning look, and then I looked over at my Mom. She smiled as she got up. "Kids, they don't get any easier as they get older," she grumbled, then she looked at us. "It'll be okay you two. Cam's a good kid. He's not going to tell anyone." A little while later Mom came back. "Everything okay?" I asked. "For now," she smiled. "We'll see how long that lasts though." She sat down, "Cam was a little embarrassed that he saw you two together." "That going to freak him out?" I asked. "No, he's going to be fine." I nodded. "Don't worry," Mom said. "I'm not." "Well if you're not," she replied thoughtfully, "give Justin's hair a break or you'll twist it all out!" I looked down and saw I'd been frantically twisting my fingers in his hair. No mean feat considering how short his hair was. I relaxed and Justin breathed out. "Sorry, Why didn't you say something?" I whispered to him. "Huh!" he snorted. I gave him a playful shove and he giggled, and I hugged him to me and kissed his head. "So Mom," I said. "Did things go okay with Cam today?" She looked up at me. "Ethan, you know I can't discuss anything about a client." "Oh," I said, a little disappointed. I was about to point out he wasn't really a client, but thought better of it. I really just wanted to know if the kid was going to be okay. I didn't need to know the details. But then if she said no, I guess I would have wanted to know why. "Ethan, he's going to be fine," my Mom said softly. "Oh, okay." A little while later both Justin and I were tired and ready for bed. We said goodnight to Mom and Dad. I kissed Mom and hugged Dad. Justin shook Dad's hand and before he knew what was up Mom had hugged Justin tightly to her and given him a kiss on the cheek and said 'Good night dear' to him. I escorted him to his room. "I'm so tired I don't think I could manage anything even if we were in the same room," I said, and he nodded. We hugged for a few minutes and kissed about a dozen times, then I wished him a good night and went upstairs. I washed up in the upstairs bathroom, and noticed that there seemed to be no noise coming from Simon's room. Either they were asleep or they were up to no good. I tried not to think about it, and resisted the temptation to open the door and see what was going on. Back in my bedroom I pulled on some sweatpants and a clean t- shirt and lay down. But after spending several nights with Justin, it felt odd to be in this small bed alone. Again. A second night without Justin, and he was just down the hall! I tossed about for a while and then gave up, struggling out of bed and out the door in the dark. As I stepped into the hall I nearly collided with Justin. "Hey!" he said. "Shhh!" I hissed, "what are you doing up here?" "I was lonely," he said in a little boy voice. "What are you doing?" "I was lonely too, and just coming to see you." Justin grinned and we hugged. "Let's go back to your room. The bed's bigger," I whispered, and we went back to the guest bedroom. Once in the bed we hugged and kissed some more. I didn't know about sex, but I wanted to get naked with him. I so love holding his body against mine. We slowly worked at getting our clothes off, and then we lay there. Hugging. Kissing. Staring into each other's eyes. I was giggling a little and blowing lightly on his skin. It felt so good. Slowly we ran our fingers over each other. I felt him hard against me, my own hardness grinding against him. Holding him. I wasn't going to do this. I was tired. But I put my arms around him and held him tightly and we started grinding against one another and I knew...I knew he were going to do more. His hands were down, grabbing at me, and I grabbed at him and we started stroking each other. Slowly at first. Matching our speed. Just slowly stroking. I slipped my hand up over the head to get some of the precum and use that to slick down the shaft and continue stroking. I brought my hand up to his mouth and he spat in it and I put it back on his dick and continued stroking. He brought up his hand and I tried to spit too, but my mouth was dry. I laughed and he laughed too, then he spit into his hand and I felt the wet slickness of his hand around me again and I groaned. We were going at it harder and faster. Harder and faster. And then we came. Justin first, squirming and hissing, trying to be quiet. Then I exploded all over him. After a couple of minutes Justin grabbed a t-shirt and quickly wiped us up, and then I wrapped myself around him and we feel asleep. "Justin, are you up?" came my Mother's voice after a loud knock at the door, "it's just after seven." I groaned. Justin groaned. "Seven o'clock," he muttered. "What's that all about?" "That means I'm to get back to my room before the boys wake up," I said, and giggled a little. "Oh!" he said. I hugged him close for a moment and kissed him. "I'll see you later," I whispered in his ear, kissing it lightly and then I licked it. "Kay," said Justin, squirming a little. I clambered out of bed and staggered out the door, pulling it closed behind me as I went. "Good morning Ethan," came my Mother's voice as I walked down the hall. I stopped and turned. Busted. "Morning Mom!" I said pretending to be wide awake. "You up already?" she said brightly. "Yeah, just checking on Justin," I said smiling innocently. "Oh great," she said with a big smile on her face. "You can help me with the breakfast." "Uh...sure" I said, trying to sound as bright as I could. Damn! Mom was going to get her pound of flesh for this. I could really have done with another hour of sleep. "Good," said Mom and she and I wandered down to the kitchen. I stood at the counter in a bit of a daze, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. Mom came up and put her arms around me. "It looks like you could do with another hour or two of sleep," she said. "I'm okay," I lied. "Go back to bed," Mom said smiling at me. "Just go back to your bed," and she slapped me on the backside. "Ouch!" I said, though it didn't really hurt. "You get caught and you get punished," she said. "Now go back to bed." "Thanks Mom," I said, and kissed her on the cheek. I woke up again at nine. That was a much more respectable time. I thought about lying there for a while, but I remembered that Dad was going to take us golfing. So we'd better get up. Down in the guestroom I found Justin was still fast asleep. Climbing onto the bed I started kissing his face and hair, waiting for him to tell me to stop. Which actually took quite a while. I knew he was awake, but he was pretending he wasn't. Finally I tickled him and he giggled and opened his eyes. "Time to get up sleepyhead," I said, smiling down into his face. He poked out his tongue and I leant down and put my lips around his tongue, sucking it into my mouth. We exchanged tongues for a few minutes and I felt him thickening beneath me. Now was not the time for that. "Breakfast," I said, and he reluctantly got up. We were the last two to go down, as the kitchen showed the signs of earlier breakfasts, and I could hear the sounds of laughing coming from the family room. Mom was washing something at the sink and I went and said good morning and gave her a hug and kiss. Justin, following behind me, said good morning to Mom too, though he didn't go over to her. Mom turned and said "Good morning Justin," and held out her arms to him so he went over and gave her a quick hug. She kissed his cheek, but as he turned she slapped him on the backside with a loud smack. "Ouch!" he said, jumping a little in surprise. "Mom!" I said. But Mom ignored me and turned back to the dishes. Justin sat down, but gave me a look that said, 'what was that for?' He was probably wondering what my Mom was into. "That was for getting caught this morning," I said by way of explanation. "How come I caught it?" he said a little indignantly. "I already got it earlier," I said. "Oh," he nodded. Then he whispered, "We're going to have to be more careful tonight." "Yeah," I said softly. "I heard that!" said Mom. After breakfast I went back to my bedroom, grabbed some clothes, and wandered down to the bathroom. The door was closed, but I could here the runt humming to himself in there. I flung the door open and in my most intimidating big brother voice said; "Morning runt!" Cam turned and looked at me in surprise. He was standing brushing his teeth. Fortunately, he was dressed. "Ahh...sorry," I said backing out nervously, "I thought you were Simon." He just stood there gaping at me, his mouth full of toothpaste. I pulled the door closed and cursed myself for just assuming it was Simon. God, with all the people here at the moment it could have been anyone. Why the hell didn't he lock the door? I was just starting back to my room when I heard the door open and a voice call me. "Ethan?" I stopped and turned. "I'm all done," said Cam. "You can use the bathroom." Cam was standing in the hallway, looking at me. I couldn't quite read his expression, but it wasn't the cool dislike I'd seen before, so I took that as a step forward. "Oh, okay," I said, walking slowly back towards him. He stepped back down the hall as I came closer. "Sorry about that," I said, "I didn't know it was you." "That's okay," he said, "I was just brushing my teeth." "That's good," I said. "Justin likes to brush his teeth," I added. I don't know why I said it. "Yeah?" said Cam. "Yeah. Does it for hours. It's a hobby of his," I joked. Cam smiled a little, I think wondering whether I was teasing him or something. I decided it was best to quit before I said something stupid. I nodded to him and went into the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind me and locking it. There'd been quite enough bathroom adventures for this trip, thank you very much. After showering and changing I went looking for Justin. He and Dad were in the garage and Dad was showing Justin his clubs and they were talking golf. I wasn't going to get involved in that just yet. I was already facing the next three or four hours of that particular hell. I wandered out and found Mom in the back yard doing some weeding. "What are you up to?" she asked. "Well I believe there was talk of hitting some little white balls into some cups. Though why anyone would want to do that is beyond me." Mom laughed. "The things we do for our men," she teased me. "You're supposed to talk like that to your daughter," I said good naturedly, "not your son." "Huh!" she said, attacking the weeds with gusto, and then she added, almost to herself, "Your sister wouldn't put up with Justin." "What's the matter with Justin?" I said defensively. "There's nothing wrong with Justin," she said looking up and wiping her brow. I think she hadn't really meant me to hear that. "I think he's perfect for you. Just the kind of project you'd like to take on. Your sister on the other hand wants something different. You're just different, that's all." "I don't like this project talk." "I shouldn't have said that. Didn't I say I liked Justin? I love him to bits. He's very sweat," and she turned back to the weeds. "But?" "But nothing. Let's talk about something else," and she got up and picked up a pile of weeds and threw them onto the wheelbarrow. "No! I want to know why you don't like him," I said, kneeling down and helping her throw the remaining bits into the barrow. I wasn't really angry or annoyed. I had been quite prepared for the fact that my parents wouldn't approve of Justin. The fact that they seemed to like him, well that was great, but it wasn't a requirement. I guess I just hadn't been expecting that Mom would like him a lot but maybe not think he was right for me. Is that what she was saying? "I never said that. I said he wasn't right for your sister." "What you said was, she wouldn't 'put up' with him, not that he wasn't right for her," I said stopping and looking up at her and she stared back at me evenly. "Put up with suggests something other than incompatibility." My Mother gave me an analyzing stare. "What?" I said. "What do you want me to say?" she shrugged. "The truth." "Okay. The truth," she paused and wiped her brow. "He lives in a different state, travels most of the time, lives a life removed from the everyday most people live in, and he's is in a difficult position because of his career." I went to protest but she her up her hands. She was obviously on a roll. I wondered if she'd practiced this speech. "He's worldly and experienced," she continued, "but not highly educated. He's a little immature, single minded and stubborn. He's also driven and determined." She stopped and wiped her brow again and watched me to see what my reaction would be. "Well thanks for laying it all out," I said a little hurt. Here I thought Justin was the perfect catch. Thought that everyone would like him so much, see how wonderful he was...be so jealous he was mine. Maybe be envious of me. Maybe I thought that too, even though I know how immature and petty that is, but I couldn't help myself. Here I was, thinking all that, and my Mother literally just told me I was wrong. That he was actually a dreadful mate. The words immature and stubborn zipped around in my head. Yeah he acted like a kid sometimes, but I loved that about him. And yeah, he was stubborn and liked to get his own way, but who doesn't? I was used to that too. Used to my older sister who always had strong opinions and would decide what movie we were going to watch and what would be for dinner. As the middle child, I was much more adaptable. I fought the wars I wanted to fight, but if I didn't feel strongly about something I was willing to let others have their way. Mom came over and hugged me. "That's just the bad points," she whispered, "he has good points too." "Yeah, yeah," I said bitterly, "he's cute as hell." "No!" she said, "he's much more than that. He's charming. He's energetic and enthusiastic," she paused and then shrugged, "which may be a bad point if you're not in the mood." I smiled. Yeah, sometimes he could be a bit much. "He seems to be a caring person who wants to love and be loved," my Mom continued, "and he really seems to care about you. He also seems supportive, though he's always going to put what he wants first." "So is that a plus point?" I asked sarcastically, but Mom just smiled. "Well you're just going to have to go toe to toe with him or he'll roll right over you. "Anything else?" I asked. "No..." she smiled, "Well he's definitely cute, and you seem to really like his hair so I guess you're going to have to keep him." I blushed a little. "Oh...and your Father seemed to think he looked pretty good naked, though I'm not sure how good a judge he is. Hopefully not too good. I'll let you know when I've had a good look myself." "Mom!" I said pushing her lightly. "I'm just laying out how I see it. That's what you asked for. But it doesn't matter what I think. It's all about what you think, and how you two work as a couple. I think you'll work pretty well really." "Why?" "Really? I think you'll both be good for each other. You tend to drift sometimes. He's not going to give you much chance for that, and I think he needs a few rough edges knocked off." "Huh!" I said. Was that what the recipe for a good relationship was in my Mothers opinion? I idly wondered what she'd thought about her and Dad when they'd started dating. I didn't like to ask. "So I think you'll be good for each other." "Really?" I said, smiling a little. Then I added thoughtfully, "But what about his career and being away all the time?" It was something I'd thought about, but tried to put out of my mind. "I don't know," she shrugged. "That's, well that's a big strain on any relationship. But you have a...you're comfortable with who you are and sure of who you are...even if you tend toward the pessimistic. You won't be swallowed up by him." "So a match made in heaven," I answered a little cynically. "Yes," my Mother smiled. "But remember I'm not a relationship expert, and I thought that your Aunt Carol and Uncle Gerry were a match made in heaven. Their marriage lasted six years, so my picking skills aren't great!" "Well thanks!" I had a lot to digest. Did my Mom, in a backhanded kind of way, just tell me that my boyfriend was a world of trouble? "So what's the object of this game again?" I asked innocently as I watched my Dad teeing up for the first hole. I'd been dragged out here because my boyfriend was practically salivating the moment Dad said he'd take him out to the golf course. He didn't have to ask Justin twice. I debated not going, but since they were going to be gone for a while, and since I half didn't want my Dad to say the wrong thing, I had agreed to come. Dad usually played with three other guys, but he bowed out of that to go with us. We ended up taking Ben as the fourth person as it turned out Ben was on the school golf team. I didn't even know they had such a thing. Having Ben meant that Simon came too, though he just watched. And made smart-ass comments about my playing. Cam had stayed back at the house. I think he wanted to come, but Mom said she needed someone to help her do some things and she volunteered Cam. We all took that to mean she wanted to talk with him some more, but no one said anything. We did promise that we'd come back and pick him up after the game. I didn't bother keeping score. I was just trying to get around the course without losing too many balls. Several times I let Justin take my shots. Then Simon hit a few and I made fun of him. After the first couple of holes I just relaxed and all-in-all it was pretty pleasant walking along, chatting here and there. Trying to hit those damn balls down the course. At one point I begged Justin "Take me back to the driving range" and he grinned and clapped me on the back and said I was doing pretty well 'considering.' Ben and Simon were thick as thieves. They obviously saw this as their entree into the adult world. I wondered if they'd be able to keep from telling their friends about spending the weekend with Justin Timberlake. Probably not. Oh well, hopefully they'll give the 'friend of my brother' story and no one would ask any awkward questions. When we got back Cam had gone home. I was kind of hoping Ben would go too so it could just be family. Ben by now knew that Justin and I were together, but I just didn't feel comfortable hugging or kissing Justin with him around, so every now and again I had to drag Justin off somewhere private to get in some touching. Nothing dirty. Just a hug, a kiss, and a cuddle. The problem was that I was in serious Justin need mode. I just had to touch and hold him every other minute. I think Mom actually noticed my frustration, as she dropped a big hint to Simon that maybe it was time Ben went home. Mom, Justin and I were in the kitchen, reading the Sunday paper, when Simon came in to get something. "What are you two doing?" Mom asked Simon. "Just hang'in," he said. "Won't Ben's parents be wondering where their son has gotten to?" "No. It's okay," he answered. I looked at Mom and she glanced at me and then turned back to Simon. "Well Simon he's not staying for dinner tonight, okay? Annie's going to be here shortly. Ben's always welcome but we'd like to have some family time with you tonight." Simon glanced at Justin and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he going to say something like Justin's not family? But he didn't. He just shrugged and said "Okay," and disappeared back to his room. About half an hour later Ben and Simon came tramping down. Ben had his bag over his shoulder. They came in and Ben thanked Mom for letting him stay. "You need a ride home?" I asked Ben. "Nah, we're gonna walk it," said Simon. "Are you going to take long?" my Mom asked Simon. "Just gonna get something," Simon said. "Okay," said Mom. I stepped forward and held out my hand. "Great to see you Ben," I said. He smiled and we shook hands. Ben glanced over at Justin and I got the impression he was still a little too awestruck to initiate any interaction with him. But Justin stepped forward and said, "Nice meet'n ya, you've got a pretty good game man!" and Ben smiled at him and mumbled thanks. Simon started to go, but I could tell there was something Ben wanted to ask Justin, but he didn't seem to have the nerve to do it. He followed Simon to the doorway, glancing back a couple of times, and then he stopped and said very quietly, "Could I have your autograph?" Justin looked up from the paper and grinned at him. "Sure," he said. There was an awkward moment as it appeared Ben had no idea what to have Justin sign. Simon grabbed a piece of stick-it yellow paper from the phone and waved it at Justin. "Aren't there a couple of CDs in my pack?" I said to Justin. Justin often carried CDs and pictures to sign if he ran into fans. One time he'd put some stuff in my pack when we'd been going out and they were still there. "Hang on," I said and ran up to my room. Opening the pack I found three CDs stuffed in one of the compartments. I took them all back to Justin and handed them to him. He opened one and with a marker he wrote a short note, signed it and handed it to Ben, who smiled happily as he read it to himself. Simon was watching, looking a little jealous, but Justin filled in a second one and handed it to Simon. Simon thanked Justin gratefully and the two of them were bubbling in front of us. "Does Cam prefer Cam or Cameron?" Justin asked, holding the last CD. "Usually Cam," said Simon. Justin nodded and wrote something on the last CD and handed it to Simon. "Can you see he gets it?" asked Justin. "Sure!" said Simon, "we can drop it by now. This is so cool. Now everyone will believe us!' he gushed. "Simon, can you just not tell anyone until we leave?" I said. "I don't want people coming over and bugging Justin. Kay?" "Sure. We won't tell anyone. When we do, we'll just say we met him at a record store!" "Well, you might have to work on a better story," I said smiling. They both thanked Justin again and ran out the door. Justin looked over at me and grinned. "I guess it could be worse..." I said, "they could be girls!" and he laughed. "So what are we going to do with two hours to ourselves?" I asked Justin. He was lying on the guest bed and I was sitting on top of him, staring into his eyes, my hands on his shoulders. He was smiling back at me. His eyes are so sensual. I could fall into his eyes. I wanted him so bad. Mom and Dad had gone out to do something, Simon was over at Ben's, and my sister was not expected until five. And the guest bedroom door had a lock on it. "I don't know," he shrugged, grinning. "Seems like a shame to just waste it sleeping," I said. "We don't have to sleep," Justin offered. "There's other things you can do in a bed." "Like what?" I asked innocently. "Oh, I don't know," he said, and then he reached up with his arms and pulled me down into a kiss. "That's not bad," I said, kissing him again. And again. I ran my hands up and down his chest, pulling at the shirt. We slowly undressed each other, kissing and hugging as we went. Caressing and exploring each other. A long sensual foreplay that we tried not to hurry, though our hunger for each other made it almost impossible to linger. As I shoved down my underwear, and settled down upon Justin's naked body, I shivered. Feeling his legs, chest and stomach against mine. Our hard dicks trapped side by side between our bellies. We were kissing hard. So hard. I was sliding a little over the top of him. The friction of his skin against the underside of the head of my prick was delicious. I was so horny. Justin was groaning and stretching and thrusting underneath me. Arching his back and moaning. God I hoped no one came home while we were at it. Had to put that out of my head. Concentrate on sex. On the feelings of my dick. On the beautiful body beneath me. I slipped down, kissing his chest and feeling him all over, then slid quickly lower, kissing his chest. Justin's hands came to my head and I went lower. I was over the top of it and it was waving up at me, shaking just a little and I hesitated. Should I try? I so much wanted to. I ran my hands up and down the sides of his chest and his hips thrust up at me, his tool, like a missile, rising up towards me, and I took that as an invitation. He could stop me if he wanted to. He had his hands on my head. I leaned down, opened my mouth and sucked him inside up to the ridge of the head. He moaned loudly and bucked and it traveled half an inch further up and then slid down, my lips sliding over the ridge and Justin exhaling loudly. His hands, still tightly clutching my head, didn't push me away or push me down either. They were just there. Encouraging. And I knew I could keep going. That he wanted me to. That he was giving me permission to hold him in my mouth and taste and lick him, and I opened my mouth and moved up just a little. Now I could take time. Now I could excite and torment him. I had all the time in the world to worship him. This was going to be fun. He wasn't going to forget this moment soon. And I oh so slowly, pushed out my tongue, and began to carefully swirl it around the head and felt him shiver and heard him groan. I gently licked my tongue up and down over the ridge, feeling the warmth and firmness off him. Sliding my tongue up to the top and getting just a mild salty taste of him. Rubbing my tongue back and fourth, then forming my lips into an O and sliding down, my lips touching him just below the top, pushing them together to form a seal around him as I went lower, sliding slowly lower. Justin was groaning louder now. Trying to thrust up into my mouth, and yet fighting it too. I could feel how taught he was beneath me. Almost frantic with lust. He wanted to thrust away, but he didn't dare. I was torturing him and enjoying every second of it. I slid my left hand to the base of his cock, pushing down against his pubic bone and part of his thigh, while with my right hand I squeezed the bottom of the shaft, sliding my hand up and down as I began to slowly bob up and down on the head, my lips sliding over the sensitive ridge. Justin was pushing up against me, but I was pushing back with my left hand while jerking and tormenting him. Using my tongue to dance across the top of his cock. He was groaning and cursing and thrusting and I knew it wouldn't be long. He was going to cum really soon. I pulled off of him and looked down at his hard straining member. I absently regarded the head that would soon be spitting that hot fluid. I kissed the head and licked it with my tongue and Justin made little grunting noises and pleaded with me to stop it. Not to stop it. Stop it. He didn't know what he wanted. I turned to look at his face and he stared at me, his eyes half-closed, the pupils unfocused and he groaned and I sank back down into bliss. When we came down later my Mom looked up at us both and had this odd expression on her face. For a moment I felt like we had large neon signs above our heads that were flashing the words 'Just Had Sex' on and off. I wasn't sure that my Mother wanted to know that kind of thing. What parent ever really wants to think about their child having sex? But there we were. Blushing a little. I looked at Justin and he had a huge grin plastered on his face and he was positively glowing. He looked like the cat that ate the canary. Yet he was the one that had been eaten. "Annie will be here shortly," she said. "Yes Mom," I said. "When are you two going back?" she asked casually. "You're welcome as long as you want," she added. "We were thinking about heading back tomorrow. Kind of late morning." She nodded. Annie duly arrived. No boyfriend this time. My sister is a little odd; and I can say that because she is my sister. She works for a software company doing project management - whatever that is - but she leads a bit of an alter-life in an amateur theater troupe. They do very odd stuff. I've seen a couple of the shows, and they are well done, but weird. I couldn't understand them, so I just said I liked them and didn't really say anything else. Better to say nothing than lie is my motto. Annie has light brown frizzy hair, and she's pretty good looking I think. Not like a model, but still pleasant to look at. She's of average height and weight. Hey, I'm not the one to describe women. She's kind of the high-energy one of the children. She blows in and likes to be the center of attention. I'm the quiet one, while Simon, well he's kind of noisy too, but he's a little more self confident I think, and no longer needs to be the center of attention all the time. In a way, for much of his life he has been more of an only child than a youngest child. It was typical of Annie to come up just for dinner rather than come for the whole weekend. Oh, she came home at other times for longer, but it just seemed so 'her' to be arriving for dinner, staying a few hours, then giving her regrets and driving off home. She lives in Connecticut, about three hours away. I didn't know why she didn't come earlier in the weekend, or stay the night, but she said she had to get to work the next morning. There's not a whole lot to tell about her visit. She was charming to Justin, and whispered to me later that she thought he was really cute. But she wasn't going to be upstaged by him. She dominated the evening's conversation, and Justin and Simon seemed to be happy to let her go. She regaled us with stories from the current show she was in. She seemed up a notch or two more than usual and I wondered if this was a performance for Justin. Not a performance in the nature of an audition. Rather, asserting herself as eldest child and star of the family, and she wasn't going to be upstaged or supplanted by a pop singer. But it would be cynical of me to think that. I do love my sister. I just don't think I could ever live with her and short visits are better than long ones. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. In a way, as much as I liked seeing her, it was nice when she kissed us all and waved good-bye. I kind of blew out my breath and rolled my eyes at Justin as the door was closed and he grinned at me and seemed to know what I was saying. It was harder to say good-bye to Simon the next morning. He had school and didn't want to go, but Mom insisted and I told him that I'd be back for his birthday. I really wish I could be around Simon more. He used to be an annoying little runt, but now I love him so much, feel so protective of him, wish that I could be there more for him. He went to shake Justin's hand and Justin pulled him into a big hug and then I hugged Simon and ruffled his hair and told him to get his lazy butt off to school. Fuck! I nearly cried. I realized it had been a couple of months since I'd last seen him. It was too long. And then he was gone and Justin and Mom and I sat around and chatted for a bit. That last awkward chat before someone leaves. When everyone knows that it's going to end soon. The person leaving is a little nervous and excited to get underway, and the person staying is waiting for the visitor to say goodbye, and thinking about the things to be done once they've gone. Finally I said we should get going. Justin and I both got up. Justin suddenly looking a little nervous. But Mom gave us both a hug and a kiss, giving Justin an especially long hug, and sent us on our way. "You okay?" I asked him. He'd been sitting quietly for half the trip. He hardly said a word after we left my parents. "Yeah," he said, smiling. "What's up?" "Nothing," then he laughed. "What?" "Nothing. I just...I'm really glad we did it," he said, smiling. "Really?" I asked. I was a little surprised. I mean, I hadn't been expecting a disaster, and I was pleased how well things had seemed to go, but I also knew it had been a big step for Justin and I wasn't sure what his reaction would be once it was over and he'd had a chance to digest it all. "It was...everyone knew I was gay and they treated me like a normal person. They were nice to me!" "You didn't think they would be?" "I don't know. I wasn't sure! I was so scared it was going to be a disaster, but it went great!" He laughed and tapped his fingers on the dashboard. "Well, don't get yourself too excited, remember this wasn't your average family. Some people are not nearly as accepting." I don't know why I said it. It wasn't because I was trying to say my family was special. Rather, I didn't want Justin to expect everyone to act that way. "I know, I know, but at least, this was okay. This was better than okay, it was great!" "So?" I asked softly. "Give me a minute," Justin smirked. "Take as long as you like," I sighed, lying back on the bed. "I will," Justin replied mischievously. I closed my eyes and waited. I was almost shaking with anticipation and I wasn't sure if he was doing this to be deliberately frustrating, or whether he really needed to take his time. I was lying naked on the bed. My head on the pillows, my cock hard, and pointing at the ceiling. Straight up. It doesn't normally do that, but Justin was holding it delicately between two fingers, while he studied it intently. Justin was naked too, crouched beside me, his face practically in my groin. That was the point. I'd just blown him for the third time, and now he was making noises about trying it for himself. I wasn't going to talk him out of it. But he was taking so long. First I'd blown him. And I'd been hard the entire time. Then he had wiped himself up with tissues and we switched positions. I lay down on the bed while he fidgeted this way and that until he was comfortable. And I'd been hard the entire time. Then he took it between his fingers and played with it a little. Studied it. Ran his eye up and down it. Been so close I could feel his breath on it. And I'd been fucking hard the entire fucking time! Now I was leaking so much precum, and so ready to shoot, all he had to do was open his mouth and I'd squirt a pint down his throat. Fuck! I probably shouldn't cum in his mouth the first time. "So how do I start?" he asked. I gave him a frustrated groan. Was he serious? We'd already talked a bit about this. Just do what I had done to him. Or whatever he wanted to do. Just...do...something I thought. "Any way you want to," I finally said, trying to smile at him sexily, when all I wanted to do was jump on top of him and shove my hot cock down his mouth! I wanted to say that to him too...but I'd have to save that for sometime when he was more comfortable with oral sex. He smiled nervously and turned back to my cock. He looked at it again. Staring intently, and I was wondering if I was in for another five minutes of torture when he leaned in and his tongue snaked out just a little and lightly licked the middle of the shaft. Just a little flick. A little rub of his flesh against mine. It was nothing really. But knowing it was him... ...finally touching me ...it made me groan. He pulled back and giggled a little. "What?" "Nothing," he said smiling. "What?" I repeated. "I don't know...it didn't, kind of not what I was expecting." "What were you expecting?" I asked, though I kind of knew the answer. "Something. I don't know, that was kind of...nothing." "Thanks," I laughed a little. "I didn't mean that," he said seriously. "Okay, well could you do some more of that 'nothing' to me?" He smiled and leaned back in and started licking, tentatively at first. His tongue going up and down in shorts strokes. He started working up toward the head. The sensations became stronger. He hesitated a moment, his tongue going back into his mouth and he frowned for a second. "What?" "Now it tastes," he said. "Bad?" "No...it just tastes," and he shrugged and leaned in and started licking the head more. I wondered whether he was going to be like this through the whole adventure. He started to get into the licking, and I started to get into being licked. He was now going up and down the head, and then the shaft, and then back to the head. Long strokes followed by short ones. He was kind of imitating what I did to him, yet he obviously had his own ideas as well. I tired to take note. I wondered whether this was what he wanted, and I would have to try it on him next time. Now he was at the bottom of the shaft and he started to run his tongue over my balls and I tensed and screwed up my eyes. God! This was good. He ran his tongue up and down and around my balls. Jiggling them in their sack. I was so into it. I wasn't going to cum, but he was keeping me really close to boiling. And then suddenly it stopped and he pulled away and was spitting a little. "What's the matter?" I asked. He'd put his hand to his mouth and was still spitting. He coughed and spat. "Justin?" "It's okay," he studied his fingers. "Hair." "Oh, you want to watch out for that," I smiled at him. I wondered if he'd never licked out a woman? Or was he just fussy and fastidious? When I thought about it, he was a very clean boy. Didn't like things messy or anything. Always liked to wipe up after sex. He was still warm and cuddling and affectionate afterwards, but he just wasn't into mess. I could think of a few things that Justin was never going to be into... Fuck! Don't think about those things...think about what's going on now. "Stick to the shaft and the head...less hair there," I suggested helpfully. "Huh!" he snorted. He leaned back in and began licking the shaft again. He hadn't gone down with his mouth yet, just running his tongue over the head, but I was getting awfully close. All the foreplay had me on the boil and I just wanted to blow my top. "Justin!" I gasped. He looked up and saw I was close. He pulled back a little, taking me in his hand and stroking me. Stroking me to climax. I groaned. I thrust upwards. "Faster" I groaned and he stroked me faster...and then I came. I came so fucking hard. On Tuesday Justin jetted off to LA for a meeting about NSYNC stuff. I was almost giddy and bouncing off the walls. I was in love, I was happy...so happy I couldn't concentrate on work. It turns out it's true; the tortured artist is more productive than the contented one. Justin called me when he arrived. We had a long chat, and then he rang off. Said he was going to be really busy in meetings for the next couple of days and didn't know when he'd be out. But he was hoping to come back to New York by Saturday and should be able to stay for a while. We told each other how much we loved each other, and giggled on the phone together, and just listened to each other breathing. I didn't hear from him Wednesday, and by Thursday evening I'd called him a couple of times but didn't reach him on his cell phone. I also dropped him an email. I figured he'd call Friday, but he didn't call then either, and I began wondering if he was going to get back Saturday after all. By Saturday afternoon I was in a panic. I hadn't been able to reach him. I'd emailed him and phoned and not got anywhere. This seemed crazy. I started wondering if Julie had kidnapped him or something. I even watched MTV news in case there was a report about him. Maybe he was ill? Sunday morning I was a mess and didn't know what to do. I'd left messages and emails, but not a peep from Justin. Finally I had an idea. I had Lance's phone and email address. I couldn't bring myself to call him, I was too emotional, but I thought I would drop him an email, just casually asking if he'd heard from Justin. To: Lance Subject: Howdy Hi Lance, This is Ethan, Justin's friend. We meet at the night club in LA a couple of months ago. I've been having trouble reaching Justin. I was worried that something had happened to him. Could you just ask him to drop me a note to let me know he's okay and not dropped off the face of the planet? If he doesn't want to talk to me that's okay...I just want to know he's okay. Thanks Ethan. I didn't get a reply until the next day. From: Lance Subject: Re: Howdy Ethan, Justin's fine. I'm sure he'll get in contact with you soon. Lance. I stared at the message. I was expecting more. Or less. Justin's fine? That's it? Then why hasn't he called me? Why's he avoiding my calls? I couldn't figure it out. And then it hit me. Justin's dumped me. He just can't bring himself to tell me. And Lance knows, but doesn't want to get involved. Shit! Or was I just jumping to conclusions? I'd already done that once. To: Justin Subject: Please call me Justin; I've been trying to reach you for the past few days and I don't understand why you are avoiding me. Lance say's your okay. But you haven't called or even emailed me. I don't know what to think. Did I do something wrong? Have you meet someone else? Has your body been taken over by pod people? I know this has been very difficult for you. I just want you to know that I do love you, and would do anything for you. I really wanted it to work out for us. If I've done something wrong please give me the chance to make it right. If you've changed your mind about us, if you don't want to continue our relationship for whatever reason, then I guess I will have to accept that. Just let me know where to send your clothes and things. I really need to know if that's what happened, or if I'm just imagining all kinds of things. I can't go on this way. The last few days I've been a mess. If it's over please let me know so I can try to move on. I'll always love you, no matter what. I just need to know what I should do. Love Ethan I rewrote the note five times. Each time it just seemed to get worse. Finally I couldn't bring myself to read it again, but I had to send it because I had to know. I hit send and waited. I didn't know what I'd do if he didn't reply. I tried to distract myself for a couple of hours. But then it was late and I thought about going to bed. I went to check my email one last time. The message almost jumped out at me amongst the junk mail and other things that were in my inbox. I couldn't open it for the longest time. I stood staring at it, trying to get up the courage to open it. Something told me things weren't going to be the same after I opened it. My hand was shaking on the mouse as I reached to click on it. The message opened. It was impossibly short. From: Justin Subject: Re: Please call me Do whatever makes you happy. Keep the clothes or throw them away. Jt I stared at it, my eyes watering, the text becoming fuzzy. I sat there sobbing. He'd dumped me. It was over. And I had no idea why. ------------------------------- To be continued... My other stories: High School: Do What You Can Boy Bands: Birthday Blues