Date: Sun, 16 May 1999 21:43:57 EDT
From: BBBRok1057@aol.com
Subject: Bad Boy B-Rok

All right ya'll, I bet you weren't expecting another installment to Bad Boy
B-Rok, huh?  Hell, neither was I.  I guess I decided I had to keep up with
the mounting BSB stories on the market.  I first wanna say that I really
appreciate NIFTY for helping me come into my own writing skills, and giving
me the first public place to display my work.  It really means a lot to be
able to have your writing seen by thousands (especially if it is
appreciated).  Most importantly, I want to thank my inspiration--Donnie.
If I hadn't had his help with our Monday night brain-storming, this section
would have reeked.  He truly is a great idea creator, and helped me get my
creative juices flowing.  I totally admire Donnie and his ability to create
something new and fun, and "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off"
funny.  You deserve two LMAO's. Hey Donnie, I actually found something
interesting about you besides your sexuality and taste in music!!!  So
anyway, if you're 18 or younger, don't read this.  If it's illegal in your
county, state, province, yada yada yada, to read this--DON'T.  If you are
homophobic and don't like homo-sex, read on and retch, that would make my
day.  If you have any questions, answers, concerns, comments, constructive
criticisms, want to say you liked the story, want to say you hated the
story, or just want to say "Howdy," send me a note at my new address:
BBBRok1057@aol.com(this will be my address for all mail from now on, all
other addresses that were posted on NIFTY are no longer good), or if
capable, IM me on AOL!!!  Much LUV to all the fans and people that have
shown so much support and love!!!  And remember all: If you want it to be
good boy, get yourself a Backstreet Boy!!

PS Thanks to Donnie's sarcasm and unparalleled wit, this section will be
entitled......



I Still Know What Bad Boy B-Rok Did Last Summer : H20 (And It Was A
Scream!)
			       By-Leprechaun
			    BBBRok1057@aol.com


			(Part 26 of Bad Boy B-Rok)

"Shit!!!!"  Leo screamed loud enough for everyone in the hospital to hear
him.
    "Jesus, Leo, stop being such a pussy."  I laughed as the doctor and I
tried to hold him down on the metal table.
    "If you keep moving Mr. DiCaprio, it's going to keep hurting."  The
doctor laughed with me.
    "It's easy for you guys to laugh.  I don't see you guys having glass
dug out of your legs!"  Leo screamed.
    "I wasn't the one that fell off the roof."  I looked at Leo.  "Now
relax, he has to dig some more out."
    "Are you ready?"  The doctor asked, to which Leo nodded his head.
"Okay, here we go."
    "FUCK!!!"  Leo screeched again.

    Okay, so how do we get from me winning an Oscar to Leo screaming
obscenities in the ER?  Well, it's actually quite simple.  We were two
months into production of "Club Kids".  The Oscars had been a month before
'The Accident.'  Well, here's how it all went down.  We were filming a
scene on a rooftop, and Leo has to get close to the ledge, like he's gonna
jump.  He didn't exactly jump, he fell.  Trying to take me with him as
well.  I lucked out and managed to just get the air knocked out of me as I
fell to the ground.  Luckily, when Leo fell off the roof, there was a fire
escape to catch him about two stories down.  Unfortunately, the fire escape
was full of broken bottles and light bulbs, along with a few other nasty
tidbits.
    We ended up having to scrape Leo up and drive him to the ER.  The
director, Michael Smithson, drove Leo, Devon and me to the ER.  Michael
decided to stay in the waiting room as Devon and I went back with Leo.  The
nurse said they generally only let close family members go back, but made
an exception for us.  Devon was helping me hold Leo down, but when the
doctor dug the first big chunk out of Leo's calf, blood squirted a good two
feet, and Devon lost it.  That explains why he's laying on the floor while
the doc and I are having such a hard time holding Leo down.
    When the doc dug out the biggest chunk, a smaller piece got embedded in
some muscle, so the doctor had an even bigger task at hand.  He originally
gave Leo a shot to numb the area, but it didn't take.  After the second
shot, and Leo still wasn't numb, the doctor decided it was futile to try
more and just started.  It wasn't exactly a pretty sight, but it was a lot
better than leaving the glass there to fester and cause bigger problems.
    The doctor dug deeper and deeper until finally he found the glass and
started pushing it forward to get it out.  Leo screamed obscenity after
obscenity until finally, the doctor cupped his hand under the hole in Leo's
leg and caught whatever fell out.  Leo laid there for a second, acting like
he was dying as the doctor examined the piece of glass.  I had to work hard
to keep myself from laughing, when I saw Leo's expression.

    "Well, here's the little guy that caused all the problems."  The doctor
held his hand out to me.
    "Oh my god, Leo, no wonder it hurt so bad."  I announced seriously as I
pinched the minuscule piece of glass and held it up for him to view. "It
must be atleast a centimeter in circumference."
    "Fuck you."  Leo let his head fall back down to the table with a thud
and groan.
    "So, doc.  Is Leo going to live?"  I laughed.
    "I'm afraid so."  The doctor laughed with me.  "I'm sorry to say he may
never play the accordion again, though."
    "You hear that Leo?  We'll get you the best professional help in town.
We'll overcome this, I know we will."  I faked a teary scene as Leo gave me
the ugliest look he could muster.
    "Well," The doctor examined the small hole in Leo's leg. "I don't think
you'll need stitches.  We can probably just put some butterfly tape on
there to hold it together to heal."
    "Okay, doc."  Leo tried to smile.
    "I'll be right back."  The doctor smiled and walked out of the room.
    "You made daddy proud today, Leo."  I laughed and walked over to the
sink and grabbed a paper towel, soaking it under the faucet.
    "You're such an asshole.  I'm surprised Brian hasn't dumped you."  Leo
sneered.
    "He's tried to dump me, but I found my way home."  I smiled back and
turned off the faucet.  "Let's see if we can get this pussy's ass off the
floor."
    "He still out cold?"  Leo asked.
    "Yeah."  I knelt down and cradled Devon's head in my lap. "Let's see if
I can fix that."
    "Is it all right if I crash at your place tonight?"  Leo asked me. "My
friend is out of town this weekend and I don't feel like being in a walkup
in New York by myself."
    "Sure.  Just don't jump out the window or something."  I laughed,
thinking about Leo falling off the roof again.
    "Shut up."  Leo smiled widely.
    "What's going on?"  I looked down at Devon when I realized his eyes
were open.
    "I think I fainted."  Devon stated matter-of-factly.
    "Yeah, I think so, too."  I laughed. "You feel all right?"
    "Mm-hm, but my head hurts."  Devon explained.
    "Could it be because you hit it on the floor?"  Leo rolled his eyes.
    "Come on, let's get you up."  I laughed at Leo's comment, and helped
Devon get up off the floor.
    "You are such a pussy."  Leo sneered as Devon and I stood.
    "Leo, don't be a jerk."  I sighed, as Devon lowered his head,
embarrassed.
    "Why don't you go out there and sit with Michael until the doc finishes
up?"  I smiled and patted Devon on the back.
    "Okay."  Devon half-smiled, and wobbled out of the room.
    "What's wrong with him lately?"  Leo asked impatiently as soon as the
door was shut.
    "Oh, he's having issues."  I smiled uncomfortably.
    "Well, he seems so self-conscious and easy to offend lately."  Leo
replied.
    "Ever since he found out that Nick and Bryan are dating exclusively,
he's been depressed."  I explained quickly.
    "Oh.  I guess that explains why he won't leave your side for two
seconds between scenes, huh?"  Leo understood finally.
    "Yeah.  I guess he thinks I can relate or something.  He's been staying
at my apartment a lot lately.  I really feel sorry for him, but he's gotta
get over it."  I sighed and hopped up on the metal table next to Leo.
    "So, I guess Nick actually settled down, huh?"  Leo laughed.
    "Yeah, finally.  This doesn't mean that he won't start fucking around
on Bryan tomorrow, though."  I joked.
    "Okay fellows, this should do the trick."  The doctor walked in and sat
down on the stool in front of Leo.

    The doctor quickly cleaned, applied antiseptic, and taped Leo's calf.
I was surprised at how fast he worked.

    "When I step down, I'm not gonna have nerve crunching pain, am I?"  Leo
asked, worried.
    "It's probably going to hurt a little, yes."  The doctor replied.  "But
don't go anywhere yet.  I need to get you some crutches and a wheelchair."
    "All right, thanks doc."  Leo smiled as the doctor exited the room
again.
    "I probably have two thousand messages from Brian on my machine at
home."  I laughed.
    "He sure misses you a lot, huh?"  Leo smiled.
    "Yeah, seems that way, anyhow.  They're coming back to the states in a
couple weeks for a small vacation.  They should be here right after the
movie wraps.  I can't wait."  I was practically bouncing on the table,
thinking of Brian coming back to New York.
    "I bet you'll be glad, they're bringing your assistant back."  Leo
laughed.

    Leo was referring to Bryan meeting up with the guys overseas about two
days after they left to stay with Nick during the tour.  I lost my
assistant in the whole thing.  I understood that Bryan wanted to spend time
with Nick, 'cause God knows I would've gone at the drop of a hat to be with
Brian.  That is if I didn't already have commitments.  Brian called me
every night.  Usually right when I was just about to pass out, the phone
would ring.  I didn't mind being disturbed to hear Brian's voice.
    One of the main reasons Brian would always call, was for the mere fact
that the tabloids had started to give me a reputation.  I had been linked
with every pretty actress in Hollywood.  Most of the tabloids were saying
that I was a party-animal, drug taking, skirt chasing alcoholic.  As a
matter of fact, ever since Brian had left, I had turned into a perfect
little boy.  I didn't drink or go out partying.  The only thing I was still
doing was smoking.  In fact, I thought the whole thing was so funny that I
clipped all the tabloid articles I came across and pasted them all to a
huge piece of thin, sturdy board.  I finally got the board framed and hung
it over my living room couch.
    I built a little shelf on either side of the huge collage and put my
Oscar on one shelf, and the People Magazine cover I was on in a picture
frame on the other shelf.  Some of my friends thought it was pretty funny,
too.  However, when my mother came to visit me in New York for a weekend,
she told me it was tacky.  I told her that artists had to express
themselves in a way they knew how, with a laugh.
    When my mother came to visit, I was going to let her know about my
sexual preferences, including the fact that I was dating a Backstreet Boy,
but I chickened out.  I didn't know how she'd react.  I had the feeling
that she had suspicions, but I wasn't certain if she could handle it.  I
just let her stay with me over the weekend with no mention of it.  She was
really impressed with my apartment and limo service, however.
    It was a hard weekend to get through because Devon got pissed off at me
'cause he couldn't stay at my place.  He got over it the second my mother
left town and he got to start coming to stay the night again.  When Devon
first started staying the night, I was a little uncomfortable 'cause he
insisted that we share my bed.  I thought that maybe he was trying to get a
little something from me, but soon realized that he was just lonely.  It
sorta helped me out, too.  I didn't have Brian around all the time to hold
at night, so it was nice having SOMEONE to be next to me.
    
    "All right, gentlemen.  Hop on in, Mr. DiCaprio."  The doctor entered
the room with a nurse pushing a wheelchair.

    Leo stepped down with a whince and hobbled into the wheelchair.  The
doctor wheeled Leo out to the nurse's desk with me right behind them.  Leo
signed out, then Michael had to come in and sign the papers since the
studio would be footing the bill.  When Michael saw the crutches and
wheelchair, I thought he would keel over.  He was such a stickler for
staying on time and getting the movie under budget and not one cent over.
I knew having Leo out of commission for a couple days would kill him.  I
just reminded Michael that we couldn't do anything about it now, so he may
as well think of ways to do some of Leo's other scenes where he didn't have
to stand.
   The whole trip back to the studio, Michael chastised Leo for being "too
careless to think about the movie's timeframe."  Leo just sat there like a
whipped dog, but I fought back for him.

    "Just think what we would have done if you had killed yourself!  We
really would've been up shit creek then."  Michael fumed.
    "Stop being such a self-serving prick, Michael."  I was red in the
face.  "Leo could've gotten killed, and all you care about is the studio's
money and time."
    "Well, where would YOU be if Leo had fallen a couple more stories?"
Michael shouted at me.
    "Probably heartbroken.  I'm just glad he lived, no thanks to the
carelessness of the the stunt coordinator.  I could really give a shit if
the studio gets mad because we are a couple days behind.  I'm sure they'd
be a lot more pissed if they knew a very famous person died due to their
people's negligence."  I was burning up from with anger.
    "Jesus, Matt, chill out."  Devon reached over the seat and grabbed my
shoulder as I stared at Michael with disdain.
    "Yeah, Matt.  It's okay, really."  Leo smiled at me.
    "No, it really isn't."  I leered at Michael as he drove down the
highway.  "You really need to change your attitude."
    "Okay, I think I get the point."  Michael sighed from frustration, not
understanding.
    "I don't care if you get it, you should have gotten it about three
hours ago when he fell off the damn roof."  I screamed.
    "Matt, calm down.  Really, it's okay."  Leo grabbed my shoulders.
    "Jesus, I hope I never get on your bad side."  Devon tried to lighten
the mood.

    Michael couldn't have been any happier to drop Leo, Devon and me off at
my car in the studio parking grounds.  As soon as the doors to his Durrango
were closed, he sped off, leaving us to fend for ourselves.  Okay, here's
another newsbreak that you might need to, or want to know.  I decided
shortly after the Oscar's that I liked New York more than L.A. so I decided
to make it my home.  I took the lease for the apartment over from the
studio, and I bought myself a car.  A Ford Expedition to be clear.  I loved
the one the hotel rented to the guys and me in L.A., that I decided that
that was what I wanted when I finally did buy one.
    Brian seemed to be a little upset when I told him over the phone late
one night that I was planning on New York being my home.  He didn't come
out and say it, but I know he wanted me to settle in Orlando, where he
stayed.  I figured that atleast this way, Brian and I would have our space,
and if we wanted to see each other when the other one wasn't in town, we
could hop on a plane.  But, to get back to the topic at hand--Devon, Leo
and I hopped in my car and headed towards my apartment.

    "I bet I have a thousand messages from Brian on the machine."  I
laughed.
    "Why does he call you so much?"  Leo snorted.
    "'Cause he looooooves me."  I said love in a drawl, making Devon laugh.
    "I bet it makes for a horrendous phone bill, though?"  Leo questioned.
    "That's why I let HIM call ME."  Devon laughed at me again.
    "When are they coming back in town?"  Devon questioned quickly.
    "They should be back in town next month, after we're done filming."  I
explained.
    "Is Nick still going out with Bryan?"  Devon asked with quite a bit of
hope in his voice.
    "Yeah.  Last thing I heard he was, anyway.  So, do we need to stop
anywhere for food, clothes, etcetera?"  I asked.
    "Let's stop and get a movie, and order a pizza.  Then, we'll stay up
all night watching the movie and feeding our faces."  Leo suggested.
    "Okay.  I guess that'll be cool since tomorrow we're off."  Devon
agreed.
    "Sounds like a plan, Stan."  I smiled.

    The next day was an off day, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to actually
mess around one night.  We stopped at the local Blockbuster and I got to be
the sacrificial lamb and actually go in.  I pulled a hat that I had in the
car on so that I might not be picked off immediately.  When I got inside
the video store, I didn't hear anyone screaming my name, which was always a
good sign.  I picked up "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" , and "The House
of Yes."  Which, I had seen the latter millions of times since it came out
on video.  It was one of my favorite movies.  After I decided that those
were the two that I would get, I walked up to the check-out line and
waited.  I was standing there for a good five minutes before it happened.
 
    "Oh my god, it's Matt Thompson!"  I heard someone screech.
    
    I had been looking down at the ground, and I expected to look up and
see a teenage girl, however, that's not what I saw.  The woman that was
checking people out had noticed me.  She was practically scaling the
counter to get a closer look.  The person right in front of me had just
moved out of the way, but was soon right back in my face when she heard the
name.  I stood there like an idiot, just smiling.  I placed my movies on
the counter and placed my card in the girls trembling hand.

    "Matt!!  Oh my god, you're Matt Thompson!!"  The woman repeated again.
    "That would be me."  I smiled.  "How are you?"
    "Oh my god, oh my god."  The woman couldn't stop trembling.

    About this time, all the people in line behind me were whispering about
how a "superstar" was in the line ahead of them.

    "You've gotta sign something."  The woman started throwing everything
in sight around, looking for a piece of scrap paper.
    "How 'bout this?"  I reached into my pocket and grabbed a gas reciept.
 
    I placed the reciept on the counter as the woman handed me a pen from
behind the register.  I quickly signed the slip and handed it back to her
with the pen.

    "Oh god, thank you!"  The woman examined the paper like she was in a
trance.
    "Now, you better check me out so these people behind me don't have to
wait too long."  I laughed.
    "Ofcourse."  The woman smiled widely and scanned my card, followed by
my movies.

    
    "Any fatalities?"  Leo asked as I hopped back into the car.
    "None this time."  I laughed.  "Only had to sign one autograph."
    "What movies did you get?"  Devon grabbed the movies from the backseat.
    "How Stella Got Her Groove Back, and The House of Yes."  I replied. "We
gotta hurry, I want to see if Brian called."
    "Yeah, make sure to not go a day without talking to him."  Leo
retorted.
    "Jealous?"  I smiled and started up the car.
    "Shaddup."  Leo laughed.


(Part 27)

    "How much will that be?"  Devon spoke into the phone.
    "Hurry up, Matt has to call Brian."  Leo cooed, making fun of me.
    "What crawled up your hershey highway tonight?"  I laughed.
    "Hello?  I fell two stories off of a roof, and then had glass dug out
of my leg.  Doesn't exactly make for a fun evening.  Ya' think?"
    "Pussy."  I teased him.
    "Okay, thanks!"  Devon hung up the phone.
    "Thank god!"  I ran over and picked up the phone, dialing the number
Brian left on my machine.
    "Jesus!"  Devon laughed at how quickly I got to the phone.
    "The gold medal winner for the 500 yard dash is Matt Thompson with 2.2
seconds."  Leo teased.
    "Fuck you both."  I laughed as the phone rang.
    "Front desk."  The man at the hotel answered with a thick English
accent.
    "Could I have room 575, please?"  I asked.
    "Whom shall I say is calling?"  The clerk asked after a long pause.
    "Matt Thompson."  I replied.
    "Yes, Mr. Thompson.  Mr. Littrell is expecting your call.  It will be
just one moment."  The clerk responded.
    "Thank you."
    
    The phone rang and rang.

    "Goddamn it, A.J.!  If you don't stop calling down here, I'm gonna kill
you."  Brian giggled into the phone.
    "I'm sorry, but I don't take threats at midnight."  I replied into the
phone.
    "MATT!?!"  Brian screamed.
    "Jesus!"  I pulled the phone away from my ear.  "Yes, it's me."
    "Sorry, I thought you were A.J.  He's been calling down here all
morning 'cause he doesn't want me to sleep in on our down day."  Brian
laughed.  "I'm so glad you called.
    "Me, too.  So, how is the tour going?"  I asked.
    "Pretty good.  I'm ready to come back to the states and see you again."
Brian schmoozed.
    "Aw, does the poor wittle boy miss me?"  I teased.
    "The poor little boy between my legs has been missing you."  Brian
laughed.
    "Oh, so big Brian doesn't?"  I questioned quickly.
    "Yes, ofcourse I do."  Brian reassured me.
    "Good.  Now I can hang up."  I teased.
    "Hey now!"  Brian laughed.  "You just get home?"
    "Yeah, just got back from the emergency room."  I replied.
    "The emergency room?  What's wrong with you?"  Brian asked quickly.
    "Well," I decided to play it up,"I didn't want to have to tell you this
until you got back."
    "Just lay it on me.  What's wrong?"  Brian asked, liked he was
expecting terrible news.
    "You're going to be a daddy."  I acted totally serious.
    "No, really.  What's wrong?"  Brian asked again.
    "I was thinking of naming it Brian, Jr. if it was a boy."  I kept
going.
    "What if it's a girl?"  Brian decided to just let me tease.
    "Hmmmm, let's see.  How 'bout Leigh Ann?"  I replied.
    "Ouch!  That one hurt.  So besides labor pains, why were you in the
ER?"  Brian asked again.
    "Leo decided to fall off a roof tonight."  I laughed.
    "OH MY GOD!  Is he okay?"  Brian freaked out.
    "Yeah.  He fell on some glass and stuff, so he had to have some glass
dug out.  Luckily he fell head first, or there would've been more damage."
I laughed.
    "Thank goodness he's alright."  Brian exhaled heavily.
    "Well, Dev and Leo both decided to stay tonight.  We're gonna watch
movies and eat pizza."  I explained.
    "That's cool.  What movies?"  Brian asked.
    "How Stella Got Her Groove Back, and The House of Yes."  I replied.
    "Good picks.  So, how much do you miss me?"  Brian asked.
    "Ah, just a bit."  I teased him.
    "Just a bit, huh?"  Brian whined.
    "You know I miss you bunches.  I'm counting the days until this shoot
is over and you get back in to town."
    "Good, I want you to miss me."  Brian giggled.
    "You're still gonna be back in four weeks, right?"  I asked.
    "Definitely."  Brian replied.
    "Good."  The buzzer went off, signaling the arrival of the pizza
guy. "Okay, well I gots to go now.  The pizza boy is here now, and I want
to see if he's cute."
    "Watch it, boy."  Brian laughed.  "Well, I love you."
    "Love you, too. I'll talk to you tomorrow night."  I replied.
    "Ofcourse.  Bye bye."  Brian hung up.

    After I hung up the phone, Devon was coming back in the door with the
pizza in his hands.  I went to my bedroom and got Leo a pillow to prop his
leg up on.  We popped in 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back', ate pizza, and
stayed up all night.  Finally, when we went to sleep, we all ended up in my
bed.  I don't know if Leo was uncomfortable being sandwhiched between two
gay guys, but I think he was too tired to protest.  When we woke up that
night, we went out to dinner to a Chinese place in China Town.  After
dinner, Leo returned to his friend's apartment and Devon came back home
with me, again.
    The next day, production started back up again.  We had to finish the
rooftop scene.  Leo couldn't walk without clenching his teeth from pain, so
we just did the talking parts where he could stand relatively still.  We
decided to finish the stunt on the roof ledge the next night when his leg
felt even better.  Devon and I finished listening to some of the samples we
had for the soundtrack later that night since we couldn't finish all the
shots.  We decided we wanted a Backstreet Boys song on the soundtrack.
    Devon decided that he wanted "That's The Way I Like It", but I finally
made him realize that the dance version of "We've Got It Goin' On" was the
best choice.  The song was intended to be used for one of the "club
scenes", so it had to be extremely up tempo and we definitely had to be
able to dance to it.
    Devon and I were definitely freaked out, 'cause in a couple weeks we
had to film a love scene.  It would be the first same sex love scene for
both of us.  Not that it wouldn't come naturally to both of us, it was just
the fact that we didn't know how the public would react to seeing it.  I
definitely didn't know how Brian and Nick would react to it.  Although Nick
was seeing Bryan, he might feel uneasy since he was once going out with
Devon.  I knew he wouldn't like to see me kissing Devon.  I figured Brian
would be a little uncomfortable, but he would get over it.  I guess we'd
find out in a couple months.


(Part 28)

    I sat there at the airport, watching strangers walk by, acting like I
was nobody.  Most of the people that passed me gave double-takes, but for
the most part, no one bothered me.  Devon had just gotten up from sitting
beside me to get us both a cappucino.  We had filmed our "love scene" a
week earlier, so we were still a little tense around each other.  Most
actors would come up with the bullshit about the love scenes meaning
nothing.  I don't know who paid them to start that crap, but believe me,
they still mean something.  They definitely throw your relationship with
the other person out of whack for awhile.
    Finally, Devon got back and handed me my cappucino.  He sat down next
to me without saying a word, as I took my first sip of the coffee.  I was
sitting there, waiting on Devon to say something, when they made the
announcement that Brian's flight was on time, and they should be unloading
in fifteen minutes.  I looked over at Devon and smiled.  I was excited
'cause I was finally going to get to see Brian, but I knew Devon was
excited 'cause he still held a false hope that Nick would break up with
Bryan.  I didn't know for a fact, but I had a feeling that Nick wasn't
leaving Bryan anytime soon.
    
    "Are you excited about seeing Brian again?"  Devon smiled at me.
    "No, not at all."  I replied. "Ofcourse I am, dipshit."
    "Just trying to make conversation."  Devon laughed.
    "I know.  Yeah, I'm excited.  I haven't had sex since we met in
L.A. for the Oscars."  I replied.
    "Are you thinking about the love scene?"  Devon read my mind.
    "Um, yeah."  I laughed. "It's still sorta freaky.  I mean, the fact
that I figuratively fucked you on film."
    "I had a feeling that that's how you felt."  Devon laughed at my choice
of words.
    "Why's that?"  I asked, turning in my seat to face him.
    "Because I've felt the same way for the last week."  Devon smiled.
    "Oh."
    "Do you think Brian will be upset at you for doing it?"
    "I hope not.  I'd like to think he's open minded enough to know it was
strictly business."  I replied.
    "What are you gonna do now that the filming is over?"  Devon asked.
    "I don't know.  I was thinking of looking at some more scripts, but I'm
not real sure.  I was thinking of going back home to visit for awhile, but
we'll just have to wait and see."
    "Why?  What are you thinking about?"
    "Well, I want Brian to go home with me when I do go home.  I just don't
know if he'll be able to.  I don't know what his schedule will be like."  I
answered.
    "Oh.  Well, I'm sure if you tell him it's important, he'll be able to
work something out."  Devon assured me.
    "I hope you're right."  I smiled at Devon and took another sip of my
cappucino.


(Part 29)

    "There he is."  I pointed over the crowd coming off the airplane.
    "Yeah, it looks like he's seen you, too."  Devon laughed.
 
    Brian came running over to the two of us, a couple bags in tow.

    "Oh my god, I'm so glad to see you again."  Brian giggled and gave me a
quick 'we're in public' hug.
    "I'm glad to hear that."  I smiled, then whispered just loud enough for
Brian to hear, "I wish we weren't in public."
    "Me, too.  Let's get in the car."  Brian smiled widely.
    "Don't you want to wait on the others?"  I laughed.
    "I'll stay here and wait for them.  We'll be out in a minute."  Devon
offered.
    "Dev, will you ask Nickie to grab my other bags?"  Brian asked.
    "Sure, we'll be out in a bit."  Devon smiled at us.
    "Thanks, Dev."  I called out as Brian and I hot-footed it to the
parking lot where the limo was waiting.

    I knew Brian and I were drawing attention from how quickly we were
running.  I just ignored the stares and kept running.  When we got out to
the the front gate, Bill must have been watching for us, because he
immediately pulled the limo around.  Brian and I jumped in and locked all
the doors.  Brian immediately straddled my lap and started kissing me.

    "Did you have a good time on the tour?"  I asked, and kissed Brian
again.
    "It was a blast."  Brian pulled away long enough to answer then started
kissing me again.
    "That's good."  I replied and continued kissing him.
    "How did the movie go?"  Brian asked, followed by another kiss.
    "Good.  We have to talk about that, though."  I started to lift Brian's
shirt to kiss his chest.
    "Okay.  Later."  Brian moaned as I nibbled around his nipple.
    "Okay."  I mumbled as I continued.

    We were abruptly interrupted by a knock on the limo's window.  I pulled
Brian's shirt back down and peered through the tinted window.  All the guys
were outside with Devon and the suitcases.  I laughed and quickly unlocked
the doors.  Brian and I jumped out quickly, followed by Bill.

    "Just like old times."  Howie looked at me. "They still can't wait 'til
they get home."
    "What up Sweet D?"  I squealed and gave him a big hug.
    "Hey now.  You better stop before I get to liking it."  Howie teased as
I let him go.
    "Where's mine mister?"  I turned to see A.J. standing by Nickie.
    "Hey bwah."  I laughed and pulled A.J. towards me. "How you doin'?"
    "Pretty good.  Up to no good like usual."  A.J. laughed.
    "Hey Kev!"  I said excitedly and gave Kevin a hug.
    "Long time no see, cuz."  Kevin laughed as I hugged him.
    "No shit.  I'm glad ya'll are finally back."  I smiled and turned to
see Nickie and Bryan looking at me.
    "I missed you guys, too."  I grabbed them both at the same time and
hugged them.
    "I hope you didn't do too good without me."  Bryan laughed as I let go
and gave Nick a hug by himself.
    "It was a blast, didn't miss ya' a bit."  I teased.
    "Let's get this luggage in the trunk and get the hell out of here.  I'm
freezing my ass off."  Brian laughed and grabbed a couple bags.

    We got all the bags in the trunk and the eight of us piled into the
limo.  Thank god it was a stretch, I thought to myself.  Bill immediately
took off, leaving the airport behind us.

"So, did ya'll enjoy the tour?"  I asked as soon as Bill had taken off.
    "It was great.  I had so much fun."  Bryan announced for the whole
group.
    "It sucked!"  Brian exclaimed.
    "Why?"  I asked.
    "'Cause you weren't there."  Brian laughed and gave me a quick kiss.
    "Awwwww."  Howie teased us.
    "Shut up, D."  Brian laughed.
    "So, what's the plan, Stan?"  Kevin asked.
    "Well, I thought that we'd stop by my apartment so ya'll could get
cleaned up and then we could go out for dinner?"  I asked.
    "Sounds good."  A.J. agreed.
    "And you guys will have to stay at my place tonight, even though it
will be cramped.  Then I don't care if you find a hotel or something, but
you have to stay atleast for tonight."  I demanded with a laugh.
    "Oh, okay, you talked us into it."  Nick was more than happy to stay.
    "You better get them all some earmuffs for tonight, though."  Brian
smiled evily," 'cause we're gonna have some fun."
    "We didn't need to hear that."  Kevin acted like he was gagging.
    "So, what did you want to tell me about the movie, Matt?"  Brian asked,
to which everyone looked at me.
    
    I glanced over at Devon with a "help me" look.

    "It's not really important.  We can talk about it later.  I'm just glad
you're all home."  I smiled.
    "Nothing bad, I hope?"  A.J. inquired.
    "No, not at all."


(Part 30)

    "That was so much fun."  Brian stumbled into my bedroom.
    "Shhhhh."  I laughed and closed the door.
    "Are they all in their rooms, yet?"  Brian grinned evily.

    I placed my ear against the door and listened for any movement.

    "Yep."  I turned around and leaned back on the closed door, with a
smile.
    "So, why are you not over here yet?"  Brian patted the bed next to him.
    "I've grown root."  I laughed.
    "Boy, you better get over here."  Brian pretended to threaten.
    "And what if I don't?"  I taunted him.
    "Then I'll have to get you in a head lock and wrestle you onto the bed.
Then I'd have to have my way with you."  Brian stated.
    "You sure don't make it sound like a bad thing."
    "I'll have fun either way."  Brian teased me.
    "Well, in that case."  I laughed and walked over to the bed and laid
down next to him.

    We just laid there for a minute, looking into each other's eyes.  Brian
laid his hand on my arm and ran it up and down the length, still looking
into my eyes.

    "I missed you so much while you were gone."  I stated as I rolled onto
my back and Brian curled up next to me, laying his arm over my chest.
    "I missed you more."  Brian kissed me.
    "How much?"  I asked, turning my head to look at him.
    "Bunches."  Brian kissed my neck.
    "How much is a bunches?"  I asked again.
    "A whole lot."  Brian started to lift my shirt.
    "I hope you did."  I giggled.
 
    Brian mumbled something in response as he kissed my chest and worked
down to my stomach.  Brian practically yanked my belt off of me and
unbuttoned my jeans as quickly as he could.  Within two seconds, my Brian
was bobbing his mouth expertly up and down on my hard cock.  I grabbed the
back of Brian's head and thrust upward, slamming the head of my erection
into the back of Brian's throat.
    Brian stopped sucking me long enough to lick my balls, all the while,
stroking my hard sex.  All of the sudden, I could hear the phone in the
living room ring.  Brian started up again on sucking me off.  I heard the
phone ring four times and then stop.  I heard my voice on the answering
machine, so I knew they could leave a message if they had to.  I went back
to concentrating on Brian's mouth on my dick....


(Part 31)

    I had to roll out of bed the next morning.  I was so tired from the
night before.  After we had gone to dinner, Devon and I took the guys to a
club downtown called Blue Planet.  We didn't get home until two o'clock in
the morning, however.  I was determined to get out of bed though, so I
could make breakfast for everyone.  It was nine o'clock already, but I was
still tired.
    Once I was out of bed, and decided that I hadn't disturbed Brian, I
threw on the first pair of boxers I found.  I knew they were Brian's but I
didn't care.  My only requirement was that I wasn't naked.  I stumbled out
of my room, and tiptoed through the hall into the living room.  I felt
sorry for the Kevin, A.J. and Howie, 'cause they had to share one of the
rooms, while Bryan and Nick, and Brian and I had our own.  I walked over to
the answering machine and hit the playback button.

    "Matt, this is Barbara.  Long time now hear!  I just wanted to let you
know that I got a call from MTV today.  I don't know why they thought I was
still representing you, but you know that they ain't too bright over
there."  Barbara laughed into the machine. "Well, they want you to go down
to Key West for Spring Break and host a week.  Think you could do it?  I
told them I would talk to you, and get back to them, but they said that
they need an answer ASAP.  You know my number, so call me back as soon as
you get this.  Hope to hear from you soon, sweety."

    The message ended with a head-shattering beep.  I stood there for a
second, contemplating what to do, then picked up the cordless and dialed
Barbara's number.  The phone rang a couple times, then Barbara finally
picked up.

    "Hello?"  She answered groggily.
    "Hello.  Ma'am, is your refrigerator running?"  I asked in a
business-like voice.
    "Right out the fuckin' door.  But I'm too tired to go catch the damn
thing."Barbara laughed.  "How're you doin', sweety?  Long time no hear,
huh?"
    "No shit.  I was just giving you a call back about that MTV thing."  I
explained. "I hope it isn't too early."
    "No, it's just six in the damn morning here."  Barbara teased.
    "I'm sorry, but I was so excited when you called."  I teased back.
    "Well, what about the MTV thing?  You'll have to be down there on
Sunday."  Barbara asked.
    "Here's the deal.  Brian and the guys just got back from Europe, and I
just got done filming the movie, so I don't want to skip town now that
Brian and I actually have time to spend together."  I answered.
    "It's only for a week, Matt.  Can't you take them all with you like a
vacation?"  Barbara asked.  "I know I'm not your agent anymore, but this
would be really good for your career."
    "I'll have to talk to all of them."  I replied.  "Is Key West pretty?"
    "You've never been to Key West?  You'll definitely have to go now.  You
don't know what you're missing."  Barb laughed.
    "Well, why don't you go back to bed.  When they all wake up and we've
had breakfast and time to talk, I'll call ya' back, okay?"  I asked.
    "Okay, I'll be waiting."
    "Alright, bye for now."
    "Bye, Matt."  Barbara hung up the phone.

    I hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen.  I couldn't remember
if I had even done any shopping within the last two weeks since I ate out
so much.  I opened the fridge, and luckily, there were about two dozen
eggs, two gallons of milk, orange juice, bacon, and enough Pillsbury to
feed any army.  I noticed that clipped on the fridge door was a note from
Devon telling me that he left early this morning, but he got a few
groceries since he could tell I needed them.  I could've kissed him if he
was there.  I definitely didn't want to go shopping at nine in the morning.
I didn't want to cook for that matter, but atleast I could do that without
leaving the house.


(Part 32)

    About five minutes before breakfast was done, I felt a firm hand on my
ass, and jumped.  I didn't look back, I just said "Good Morning" to Brian
and kept making breakfast.

    "Good morning to you, too, honey."  I heard Nick's voice.
    "You dork!"  I turned around to see him grinning at me and laughed.
    "Something smells good in here."  Nick smiled and looked over my
shoulder at what I was making.
    "Would you set the table for me while I finish up?"  I asked.
    "Sure."  Nick gave me a quick hug around the neck. "I'm so glad to see
you again."
    "Same here."  I smiled and continued frying the bacon.
    
    By the time Nick got the table set, I was done cooking.  We both went
in and woke everyone up.  It took forever to get everyone around the table.
Luckily the food still had steam coming off of it, surprising as it was.
As soon as everyone started diggin' in, I lit a cigarette and decided to
drop the bomb on them about Key West.

    "Okay, I have something to ask ya'll."  I took a deep drag off my
cigarette.
    "Uh-oh.  He's puffing heavy."  A.J. teased and took another bite of his
food.
    "What is it?"  Brian asked.
    "Well, I got a call from ole Barb."  I started.
    "How's she doing?"  Brian asked, barely looking up from his plate.
    "Pretty good."  I replied.  "She was calling to tell me that MTV wanted
me down in Key West to help host a few things for Spring Break.
    "Really?"  Nick looked at me.
    "Yeah, but I didn't want to go since ya'll just got back in town.  That
is, unless ya'll wanted to go with."  I smiled broadly.
    "Well, actually, management told us MTV wanted us down there, too.  We
told them we would have to talk to you first, too."  Brian giggled.
    "And just when were you going to discuss it with me?"  I teased.
    "Right now seems like a good time."  Howie laughed as he stuffed his
face more.
    "Gee, ya' think."  I said in a voice like Forrest Gump.
    "So, we're going, right?"  Nick got excited about the thought of going
to Key West.
    "Well?"  I looked at everyone.

    All the guys answered with an enthusiastic round of agreeance.  I
laughed and lit a cigarette while all the guys finished their breakfast.

    "I'm gonna call Barbara back guys and let her know we're set and
ready."  I got up from the table and walked over to the phone.

    "Hello?"  Barbara answered after the first ring.
    "Okay, when are they sending me a airplane ticket?"  I asked.
    "So, you decided to go, huh?"  Barbara replied.
    "Yep.  It seems as though MTV extended the same offer to the guys as
well."  I explained.
    "Okay, let me give them a call.  I'll call you back later today and
break it down for ya'."  Barb laughed.
    "Alright.  Love ya'."  I stated as I hung the phone up.


(Part 33)

    I stepped off the plane to a flash of cameras in my face.  I fluttered
my eyes real quick to get used to the flashes and stood there for a minute.
Suddenly, the questions began.

    "Matt, what shows will you be hosting?"
    "Mr. Thompson, how long will you be here to host for?"
    "Is it true that the Backstreet Boys will be here?"
    "Are you here to promote your new movie?"
    
    I stood there for a moment waiting for the reporters to pause before
saying anything.  When the time came, I finally spoke.

    "Alright guys, you know the drill."  I laughed. "One at a time."
    "Matt!  Do you know what you will be hosting?"  A reporter in the front
screamed before anyone else had the chance.
    "Yes.  I'll be hosting Total Request everyday with Carson Daly.  I'll
also be at the Grind every morning.  I'll be at the late night concerts
with all the musical acts.  I'll also be doing a 'Matt and Backstreet Boys
Top 20 Favorite Videos."  I replied.
    "Will there be any surprises you have in store for us?"  Another
reporter asked.
    "There is one, but you'll just have to wait."  I laughed.
    "Are you here to promote your new movie?"
    "Actually, the new movie just wrapped two weeks ago.  The crew just
started editing, voice overs, and cutting, so it will be awhile before I
will be promoting it."  I replied.
    "We've heard the rumor that there is a love scene between Devon Sawa
and yourself in the movie.  Care to comment?"  A snide reporter close to me
asked.
    "Not really."  I smiled laughed.
    "Will Devon and Leo be down here this week?"
    "No, I am not here for the movie."  I repeated.
    "Do you think there will be any conflict between N'Sync and the
Backstreet Boys since they will both be here to perform?"  A stupid woman
on the side asked.
    "As I take it, I believe the two groups get along fine.  However, that
is something you would need to ask them.  Okay, I have to leave.  Everyone
have a good day."  I replied and started walking along the aisle that
security had roped off for me.

    I practically had to run to get my bags and get out to the waiting limo
so that the paparazzi wouldn't stampede me.  I immediately directed the
driver as to where I was to be taken and we were off, with reporters
screaming in the distance.  The whole ride to the hotel, I looked out the
windows at the sights before me.  Everyone in Key West looked like a
model--men and women.  The beaches were beautiful as well.  I was almost
sad when the ride ended.  I was enjoying watching the sights.
    The limo driver grabbed my bags and opened the door for me.  I got out
and looked up at the huge hotel before me.  I knew that all the "celebrity
hosts" had to stay at this hotel, so I was a little nervous about meeting
all the new people.  It was two o'clock.  In just three short hours, the
meeting would start.  The meeting involved all the hosts and acts meeting
with the producers and executives to discuss the events that would
transpire.
    The guys and I decided that we would go to Key West seperately and meet
up at the meeting with everyone else.  That way the paparazzi wouldn't have
any juicy stories about Brian and I always being at each other's sides.  It
was probably a good idea, I was thinking as I walked into the hotel and saw
more press walks set up.  I answered more questions like a good boy and
finally got up to the desk to check in.
    When I got up to my room, it was close to three o'clock.  I immediately
hit the bed and passed out for a good hour.  When I woke up, I threw on the
most comfortable outfit I had in my suitcase on and headed down to the
conference room.
    As I walked into the conference room, it seemed like everyone turned
just to see who else was walking in.  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Brittney
Spears, N'Sync, the cast of "That 70's Show", Carson Daly, 98 degrees, and
Ananda were the first few people I recognized in the crowd.  It looked like
the guys hadn't arrived yet, so there was no solace after walking into the
star filled room.
    Everyone seemed friendly enough, I mean no one flipped me the bird, so
that was a good sign.  I immediately walked over to N'Sync, determined to
meet another of my favorite boy bands.

    "Jeez, this is odd.  Hi, I'm Matt."  I laughed as I extended my hand to
Justin.
    "Don't sweat it.  I would have felt odd walking up to you."  Justing
smiled and shook my hand.
    "So, I hear you're friends with the Backstreet Boys?"  Lance asked as
he shook my hand.
    "Yeah, something like that."  I replied.
    "Well, I hope they won't be mad that you are talking to their enemies."
JC teased.'
    "Me, too."  I laughed.
    "Well, we're about to find out."  Chris pointed over my shoulder.

    I turned around to see Brian walking my way with a huge smile on his
face, but seeming sort of distressed at the same time.  He seemed to be
looking all around the room and over his shoulder every now and then as he
got closer.  Nick wasn't that far behind him.

    "He's such a goofy bastard."  I said outloud, causing the guys to
laugh.
    "Hey, I heard that."  Brian said as he walked up to me.
    "Good.  I meant for you to."  I laughed.
    "How're ya'll doin'?"  Brian smiled at the guys, to which he was
answered positively by all.
    "It was nice meeting you guys."  I stated and started to walk away so I
could meet some other people.
    "Where are you going?"  Brian caught up to me quickly.
    "Jesus, afraid I might run off?"  I laughed, not thinking anything
about his behavior.
    "No, I just missed you, so I didn't want to just stand around while I
could be talking to you."  Brian clearly faked a laugh.
    "Chill out.  I just wanted to say howdy to Carson since I'll be seeing
him alot."  I laughed.
    "I don't think that's a good idea."  Brian grabbed my arm and looked at
me.
    "Did you take your pill this morning?"  I laughed and broke away.
    
    I continued to walk towards Carson, not knowing why Brian was afraid to
let me out of his sight.  Carson was standing in a corner by himself,
sipping on a bottle of water.  He looked like he was intentionally avoiding
everyone else, but I wanted to meet him.

    "Carson?"  I spoke when I got within ears reach.
    "Yeah?"  he smiled at me.
    "Hi.  I just wanted to come over since we'll be seeing alot of each
other this week."

    I was just about to shake his hand when Brian butted in.

    "Hey, Matt, Nick said he needed to talk to you for a second."  Brian
spoke quickly.
    "Brian, damnit, stop."  I rolled my eyes.
    "Well, hi there Mr. Littrell."  Carson spoke to Brian then looked at me
pretty evil like.
    "Hi, Carson.  Come on Matt."  Brian grabbed my arm again.
    "Wait, don't you want to introduce your friend to me?"  Carson spoke to
Brian and grabbed my other arm.
    "Why do I feel like I'm in the middle of a game of tug-o-war?"  I
laughed, really not knowing what to think.
    "Carson, Matt.  Matt, Carson."  Brian stared at Carson.
    "Nice to meet you, Car..."  I tried to speak only to have Brian yank me
away quickly.
    "What's the fucking deal?"  I tried to stay perfectly calm since we had
a couple dozen people around us.
    "I'll explain it later."
    "No, now."  I stated.
    "I can't, the executives are here.  The meeting is going to start."
Brian argued.
    "Fine."  I whispered, glaring at him.
    
    I left Brian standing there and went to the other side of the
conference table and sat down between Brittney Spears and Jennifer Love
Hewitt.  The meeting began with what bands and acts were to perform on what
days.  I tried to pay attention during the whole thing, but I noticed Brian
glancing over at me thoughtout the whole ordeal.
    Finally, the meeting was pointed directly at Carson and me.  The
producers announced that I would be hosting TRL with Carson everyday at
2:30.  Carson looked at me and sort of smiled.  I was dying for the meeting
to be over so I could grill Brian about what was up with Carson.  The
producers also announced that I would be doing a "Top Twenty Count Down"
with the guys of BSB so we had to pick out our favorite videos soon.  We
had to promise to have the list of videos down to Chuck Walters by eight
o'clock that night.
    With that, the meeting was over.  Everyone seemed to be lingering
around to mingle, but I stood immediately and walked out the door and
headed for the elevator.  I didn't have to stand there long before the five
of the guys were standing beside me.

    "Matt, what's wrong?"  Brian asked as soon as we all were packed into
the elevator.
    "Nothing."  I answered quickly and kept staring straight ahead.
    "Hey, chill out."  Nick laughed lightly.
    
    When we got out of the elevator on the Sixteenth Floor, I walked down
towards my room, with Brian hot on my heels.  I let the two of us in my
room and slammed the door behind me.  Brian saw the look on my face and
immediately found a chair and utilized it.
    
    "What the hell was that all about?"  I said, pointing at the door like
it was the conference room.
    "What?"  Brian looked up at me.
    "The thing with Carson.  I mean, what's up with you?"  I asked
completely calm.
    "Nothing."
    "There sure seemed to be something going on about an hour ago."  I
pointed out.
    "Well, it's just that Carson and I don't get along very well. And I was
afraid of what he would say to you about me.  Last spring we had a little
tiff at the last one of these."  Brian answered.
    "That's it?"  I asked.
    "Yeah."
    "You really think I give a shit what Carson Daly has to say about you?"
I laughed.
    "Well, I guess it was kinda stupid of me to think you would."  Brian
replied.
    "No shit."  I laughed.  "Now let's grab the guys and go get something
to eat and figure out what videos we want to put on that countdown."
    "Otay."


(Part 34)

    "So, I suggest we make 'Celebrity Skin' by Hole the number one video."
I suggested.
    "God no!"  Brian screamed at me over the dinner table.
    "Scream a little bit louder next time, the person sitting at the table
in the corner didn't look over here."  I laughed.
    "We can't do that.  We have to make it 'No Scrubs' by TLC."  Brian
demanded.
    "No, it has to be 'Livin' La Vida Loca' by Ricky Martin."  Howie put in
his two cents.
    "'My Name Is...' by Eminem."  Nick cracked me up.
    "I say it is 'Faith' by Limp Bizkit."  A.J. spoke up.
    "Alright guys, we're all on completely different paths here.  I suggest
we compromise somewhere."  Kevin took charge.
    "Okay,"I wanted to compromise,"I'll give up all my other selections,
except 'Ironic' at number twenty, if we can make 'Celebrity Skin' number
one."
    "Sounds good to me."  Howie agreed.
    "Yeah, now we can take Garbage off the countdown."  Brian punched me in
the arm.
    "I guess that's that then."  Kevin took the slip of paper he was
writing our choices on and folded it in half and put it in his pocket.
"I'm gonna run this back to the hotel real quick, go ahead and order me one
of whatever you're having Matt."
    "Okay."
    "So, did y'all get over your little spat this afternoon?"  Howie asked
as Kevin walked out of sight.
    "Yeah, my fault."  Brian laughed.
    "As it always is."  I teased.
    "Well, Matt, Carson was about two years ago.  It's no big thing."  Nick
offered as he took a sip of his tea.
    "Huh?"
    "It's old news."  A.J. backed Nick up.

    All of the sudden it came to me.  I could see Brian cringing out of the
corner of my eye.

    "You fucked him, didn't you?"  I said as low as possible.
    "Damn, Matt."  Brian turned his head back and forth, trying to let me
know we were in a crowded resturaunt.
    "I'm sorry."  I started to feel bad.  "No, wait.  I'm not sorry.  You
fucked him, didn't you.  That's exactly what happened.  Oh my god, why
didn't I realize?"
    "Jesus, Brian.  You didn't TELL him?"  Nick leaned over so that no one
but us five could hear it.
    "Damn Brian, that's cold."  A.J. cringed.
    "I didn't think you'd like to hear that."  Brian offered to appease me.
    "No shit?"  I rolled my eyes and sat back.
    "Don't get mad."  Brian placed his hand on my shoulder.
    "Why were you afraid to tell me?  I mean, if it's over, it's over."  I
tried to come up with an answer.

    My cell phone rang.

    "Hello?"  I picked up the phone and fumed into the receiver.
    "Hi.  Matt?"  I distinctly heard Carson's voice.
    "Carson?"  As soon as I said the name, everyone at the table looked at
Brian.
    "Yeah, I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm looking forward to
hosting TRL with you this week.  I'm real excited."  Carson said happily.
    "Thanks.  I appreciate it."  I tried to cut the conversation short.
    "Cool.  Say, Brian wouldn't happen to be there, would he?"  Carson
asked quickly.
    "Sure, he's right here."  I handed the phone to Brian with a glare.
    "Hello?"  Brian said as he put the phone to his ear.
    
    Nick stared at me like I was crazy for letting Carson talk to him.
    
    "No, I sorta have stuff to do tonight."  Brian said into the phone.
"Maybe tomorrow night."

    STUFF?????  DO WHAT TOMORROW NIGHT?????

    "Fuck you, Brian."  I leaned close to Brian and barely whispered the
words. "If y'all want me, I'll be at the hotel."
    "Wait, Matt!"  A.J. tried to stop me.

    I walked as calmly as I could out of the restaurant, leaving my cell
phone in Brian's possession.  I got down to the end of the block and
started to hail a taxi, which was almost impossible.  I wasn't at the
corner five seconds before Nick was at my side.

    "Damn, you're quick."  Nick laughed.
    "That asshole."  I fumed.
    "Believe me, Carson and him are over."  Nick breathed heavy.
    "Why didn't he tell me then?"  I asked, to which Nick didn't have an
answer.  "Why didn't YOU tell me?"
    "Matt."  Nick shook his head, trying to think of something to say.
    "Nick, let's go get drunk."  I said as a taxi finally stopped.
    "But, the guys are still back there."  Nick looked over his shoulder.
    "So what?"  I opened the taxi door. "You coming or not?  'Cause I need
a drink."
    "What the hell."  Nick stated as he followed me into the taxi.


(Part 35)

    Nick and I stumbled into my hotel room at three in the morning.  We
were both laughing rather loudly, and were quite happy after all the drinks
we had had.  While I was trying to close and lock the door in my drunken
stupor, Nick kicked his shoes off and fell down on the bed, looking up at
the ceiling.  I finally got the door closed with a giggle.  I laughed at
the sight and fell down beside him on the bed.

    "Are we drunk, or what?"  Nick died laughing.
    "Or what.  We're not just drunk, we're fubar-ed."  I laughed along with
him.
    "I wonder what Brian thinks became of us?"  Nick giggled.
    "Who cares, fuck him."  I seethed.
    "Well, aren't we Miss Attitude?"  Nick teased.
    "Yeah, where is my damn tiara?"  I laughed.
    "Over there on the chair next to you boquet of roses and wand."  Nick
started rolling.
    "Are you staying the night?"  I asked since he took his shoes off.
    "If you don't mind?"  Nick answered me with a question.
    "No prob.  You can borrow a shirt and some boxers to sleep in or
something."  I suggested.
    "Well, I can just sleep in the boxers I have on."  Nick replied.
    "Whatever floats your boat."
    "I'm seeing two of everything here.  I think I need glasses."  Nick
started waving his hand in front of his face, testing his vision.
    "Maybe those five flaming dr. peppers didn't help, either?  Ya'
reckon?"  I laughed.
    "That's probably it."  Nick laughed.
    "Brian will be pissed when he finds out you stayed with me."
    "I know what would piss him off more."  Nick rolled over on his side to
look at me.
    "What do you mean?"  I asked as I rolled onto my side to look back at
him.
    "Com'ere."  Nick grabbed the neck of my shirt and pulled me towards
him, pushing my lips into his.

    Normally, I would have destroyed Nick for this.  Especially since I
already had to go through this once with him.  Somehow, I didn't see the
need to stop him.

    "That would definitely have pissed him off."  Nick pulled away from me.
    "Probably." I tried to sound like I was anything but amused.
    "So, what do you think?"  Nick eased towards me a little more.
    "Well, I don't think that will help the situation with Brian."
   
    After thinking on the situation for a moment in my drunken state, I
realized that Brian wasn't here, he was with Carson, probably.

    "What the hell."  I laughed and pulled Nick on top of me and began
kissing him as I ran my hands through his hair.

     Nick quickly shoved his tongue deep in my mouth, almost gagging me.  I
fought back with my own tongue, shoving it into Nick's mouth.  I brought my
mouth away from Nick's long enough to suck on his neck.  Nick drew air in
through his teeth, causing a loud hissing noise.  I continued to kiss and
suck Nick's neck as I grabbed his ass, causing him to grind his crotch
against mine.  I could feel the hardness of his cock through both of our
pants as he continued to grind against me.
    Nick reached down between both of our grinding bodies and unbuttoned my
pants, then yanked the zipper down quickly.  I continued humping up against
Nick's hard body as he reached into my underwear and firmly grasped my
cock.  Nick started kissing me again, shoving his tongue in my mouth again,
then started to work on my neck.

    "Oh God, Nick." I moaned as Nick lifted my shirt over my head.
    "Matt.  Jesus Matt, I've dreamt about this since we met."  Nick
whispered right before his head disappeared into my crotch.

    Suddenly, I felt the warmth of Nick's mouth wrapped around my cock.  I
immediately grabbed the back of his head, shoving my dick deep into his
throat.  Nick didn't pull back, he kept pushing forward, until his nose was
buried in my pubic hair.  Over and Over I humped Nick's mouth until I was
on the verge.

    "Give me that load of cum."  Nick stated sluttily.
    "Oh yeah."  I closed my eyes and shoved my dick back in Nick's mouth.

    Nick's mouth returned to my engorged member just in time to catch my
hot load.  I spewed shot after shot of hot cum into his mouth as he
continued to suck me as deep into his throat as he could.


    "Jesus!"  I sat up straight in the bed.
    
    I looked at the clock, seeing that it said eight o'clock.  Just a
dream.  Thank God.  I was pouring sweat.  I couldn't believe I even DREAMED
about having sex with Nick and betraying Brian.  Nick was in bed with me,
but fully clothed, as was I.  I laid back down on the bed with a sigh.  If
Brian walked in at that moment, we would be dead meat.  I knew this one was
going to be hard to explain.


(Part 36)

    Somehow, Nick was able to sneak out of my room and into his unnoticed.
I laid in bed until around noon, smoking a cigarette and thinking about
calling Brian.  I was still pretty pissed off that Brian had lied to me
about Carson.  I couldn't believe that he had done Carson.  I mean, the guy
was supposed to be going out with Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Oh well.  Not all
gay guys stay single.  That's definitely been proven untrue in the past.
    All of the sudden, it came to me.  Maybe Brian lied to me because he
only wanted to come down here so he would have another chance to screw
Carson.  I tried to push it out of my mind, but the thought of Brian doing
something like that kept lingering in the back of my mind as I headed for
the shower.
    During my shower, the only thing that went through my mind was the
thoughts of where Brian had probably been the night before.  Why hadn't he
tried to call me yet?  Why hadn't he run after me last night?  It was
barely an hour before we had to do the shoot for the Top Twenty Countdown,
and I hadn't even had time to bitch at Brian yet.
    After I was done showering, I got dressed and made sure I looked all
pretty so that the hair and makeup people could redo it, and headed over to
Nick's room.  After knocking for what seemed like thirty minutes, Nick came
to the door with nothing but a towel around his waist.  He looked pretty
ragged.

    "Stay up too late last night young man?"  I laughed as I walked in to
his room.
    "Yeah, no thanks to you."  He giggled and shut the door.
    "Where's the cunt?"  I asked as I plopped down on the bed and grabbed
the complimentary ashtray off the nightstand.
    "I assume you mean Brian?  Well I haven't seen him since last night at
the resturaunt."  Nick replied and sat down on the bed, holding his towel
on.
    "Don't you think you should be dressed for the shoot?"  I laughed.
    "Yeah, but it can wait 'til five minutes before we leave.  Give me one
of those."  Nick replied.
    "The guys are gonna think I turned you into Rosemary's baby in one
night if they know you smoked a cigarette."  I laughed.
    "I don't care, now give me one."  Nick laughed and snatched my pack
away from me.
    "No you didn't."
    "Oh yes I did. I take what I want."  Nick replied and lit his
cigarette.
    "Bad boy."  I teased.
    "Hey, you know what we say."
    "What's that?"  I asked.
    "If you want it to be good girl...."  Nick started.
    "Get yourself a bad boy."  I finished the song title for Nick with a
laugh.
    "Exactly."  Nick laughed.
    "Gotta pee."  I announced and stood.
    "Thanks for sharing."
    "Well, you can come in here with me and REALLY share the experience."
I laughed.
    "No thank ya'."  Nick laughed.

    I went into the bathroom and did my business.  I stopped before leaving
the bathroom to look in the mirror.  I was about to open the door when I
heard the main door to the hotel room fly open.  I stopped for a minute and
listened.
 
    "Nick?  Are you here?"  I heard Brian's voice.
    "Yeah, I'm in here."  I heard Nick respond from the living room area of
the suite.
    "Thank God."  I heard Brian's voice trail off.
    
    I slowly opened the bathroom door and sneaked into the main area of the
suite so that I could listen.

    "What's up?"  I heard Nick's voice.
    "Have you seen Matt?"  Brian asked quickly.
    "Yeah, we went out last night."
    "Well, where is he?"  Brian sputtered out.
    "Why?"
    "Because I'm so afraid he still thinks that I came here to fuck Carson
one last time or something."
    "I seriously doubt he believes that."  Nick laughed.
    "I don't know.  He seemed so pissed last night, then he didn't show up
at my room all night long like I thought he would."  Brian argued.
    "Chill out Frick. Shit."  Nick tried to calm Brian down.
    "Nick, you don't understand. What would I do without him?  I've been
scared to death by that before when A.J. pulled his shit.  Now he might
really be gone."  Brian was hysterical.
    "Jeez, Brian.  I don't think he's going to leave you over some shit
like that.  Just calm down."
    "You don't understand, Nick.  He means everything to me.  I love him so
damn much."  Brian sounded like he was crying.  "I couldn't live a day
without him."
    "I'm right here, Brian."  I smiled as I walked around the corner.
    "Matt?!?  What are you doing here?"  Brian spun around and looked at
me, red eyed.
    "Well, I THINK this is my hotel."  I said with a laugh.
    "No, I mean what are you doing in NICK'S room?"  Brian looked at me.
    "I have a tendency to visit my friends from time to time."  I said it
more like it was a question.
    "And why do you have just a towel on?"  Brian looked at Nick.
    "I just got out of the shower."  Nick replied then looked at me like he
was confused.
    "Oh my god, you guys didn't..."Brian put his hand over his mouth.
    "Didn't what?"  Nick looked at me again.
    "Did you fuck him???"  Brian looked at me and pointed at Nick.
    "Oh please!"  I laughed.
    "Hey!"  Nick acted offended.
    "No offense to you Nick.  No, we just went out and got really drunk,
and..."  I couldn't finish.
    "Being drunk doesn't make it easier to swallow."  Brian started raising
his voice.
    "I didn't fuck Nick."  I replied, unbelieving.
    "We just got really drunk and slept together in his bed."  Nick said it
before he realized what it sounded like.
    
    Before we knew what happened, Brian ran over to Nick and punched him
right in the nose.  Before Nick had a chance to react, the blood started
gushing down his nose.  I didn't think, I just ran over to Brian and jumped
on his back, trying to yank him away.  I had succesfully gotten Brian out
of a punch's length from Nick, when Nick stood and punched Brian back.  The
force knocked the back of Brian's head into my face.  All of the sudden, I
was really dazed.  One more punch from Nick and I tumbled off of Brian and
fell against the wall, banging my head on the way.  Then it was just dark.


(Part 37)

    "Matt?  Matt?  Wake up, man."  I heard A.J.'s voice like it was coming
from a dream state.
    "Damnit, Brian!  I hope your fucking satisfied!"  I heard Nick's voice,
which was a little louder.
    "Shut up you fuck!"
    "Come on Matt, wake up."  A.J. sounded desperate.
    "Great, you killed him."  I heard Howie say sarcastically.
    "That's not funny."  Kevin replied.
    "Okay, I'm awake."  I mumbled just loud enough to shut everyone up.
    
    When I looked up, all the guys were huddled over me.  My head was
resting in A.J.'s lap.  He was running one hand through my hair and holding
a cold compress over my forehead with the other.

    "Thank God."  Nick sighed.
    "Jesus."  I moaned as I sat up, holding my head.
    "Hold on."  A.J. stopped me.
    
    A.J. ran his hands through the back of my hair, I guess to make sure
nothing had oozed out.

    "Thank god you have a thick head."  A.J. giggled.
    "No shit."  I tried to laugh.
    
    Suddenly, the phone rang, which caused my brain to rattle against my
skull.

    "I'll get it."  Kevin raced over to the phone.
    "What the hell happened in here?"  Howie asked as he knelt down to look
at me.
    "Fuck, I don't know."  I grabbed the top of my head.
    "Do either of you know?"  A.J. looked up at Nick and Brian with
contempt in his eyes.
    "Yeah, he fucked Nick."  Brian accused.
    "Yeah right, you'd just like to think so.  Probably fucking gets you
hard to think we did.  Pervert."  Nick screamed.
    "You mother..."  Brian started to scream back.
    "ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!"  Kevin screamed.
    "Ouch."  I stated and grabbed my head.
    "Sorry, but that was the people at MTV.  We have to be at the beach in
about twenty minutes for makeup and hair.  The way it looks, you guys will
need some makeup.  If we're not over there, we're all gonna be in deep
shit, seeing that we're all under contract."  Kevin announced.

    "I'm gone."  Brian walked out the door in a huff.
    "That shit."  Nick sighed.
    "Let's just go."  A.J. suggested as I drug myself up off the floor.
    "You okay?"  Nick grabbed me by the shoulders and looked at me.
    "Yeah, let's just go do this thing and get it over with."  I sighed.
    "Okay.  Let me change real quick ya'll and we'll go."  Nick frowned and
went into the other room.



    Right after Nick had thrown on some clothes, we all headed out the door
on the way to the shoot.  It didn't take us five minutes to walk down to
the site, which was about ten blocks away from the hotel on the beach.
There was a medium sized crowd standing around the shoot waiting on all of
us to show up.  They all screamed when they saw the five of us coming
towards them.  I expected them to maul us, but they acted decent and let us
through.  There were five trailers set up, and since Brian was in one of
them already, Nick and I shared one.  All the other guys went off to their
own seperate trailers.
    It took about an hour for all of us to get prettied-up and in new
clothes that the wardrobe lady brought.  Finally, we were all sitting down
on blanket that they had brought, in front of the camera.  Brian
intentionally sat on the opposite side of the blanket as me.  I just rolled
my eyes and continued chatting with Nick until the director was ready to
tell us what to do.

    "Okay guys, listen up, we want to get this done as soon as humanly
possible.  Brian, come over here and sit with Matt and Nick."  The director
began.

    Brian didn't argue, he just came down to our side and squatted beside
me.

    "Also, who's doing the first video?"
    "I am."  I stated.
    "Okay.  Let's get off on a good foot.  Don't improvise too much, keep
it short and sweet, and try to get it right the first time."  The director
demanded.
    "I'll try my hardest."  I smiled.
    "Okay, let's do this.  Follow the cue cards.  Watch for me to cue you."
The director spoke as he walked behind the camera.
    
    Finally, after much fuss over the camera angle, I was cued.  We all
started out by talking about why we were there, yada yada yada.  Finally, I
introduced the twentieth video, 'Ironic' by Alanis Morissette.
    The rest of the shoot went relatively well.  We didn't improvise too
much, just enough to make it seem natural.  We were down to number one when
it finally hit.  Brian decided he was gonna make an ass out of himself, and
hopefully me while trying.

    "Okay everyone.  This is the TOP video.  And actually, it was my pick.
This is one of my favorite bands ever.  This song will definitely be a
classic one day.  And ofcourse, anything that has to do with Courtney Love
rocks, right guys?"  I followed the cue cards. "So, this is the number one
video 'Celebrity Skin' by Hole.  And did I mention Courtney rocks?"

    At this point, they would stop filming, but Brian jumped in.

    "Yeah, Matt was telling me about how he wanted to do Courtney Love
right before we got down here on the beach.  He said he wanted to add her
to his list of growing conquests."  Brian smiled.
    
    All the guys just started laughing like it was no thing.

    "Well, I've never slept with Courtney before, but she has to be better
than what I've been getting lately."  I smiled sweetly.

    My sentence silenced all of the guys.  It definitely wasn't funny
'cause no one laughed except the crowd that was watching us film.  They
didn't laugh much because the guys didn't laugh at all.

    "So anyway, this is Hole.  Check it out."  I announced again.

    After that, we filmed the final scene, which was where we said
'goodbye' to the T.V. audience.  After that, Brian stood and stormed off.
Nick just turned to me and mouthed the words 'Good one'.  I just laughed
and took off after Brian.

    "Brian, wait up!"  I hollered.
    
    Brian stopped at the steps of the trailer and turned around.

    "What?"  Brian glared at me.
    "Please chill out.  You have been way to serious all day long."  I
pleaded.
    "Did you fuck Nick?"  A tear rolled down Brian's cheek.
    "No.  I slept with him."  I replied, trying to be a smart ass.
    "Whatever."  Brian turned and started to walk up the steps.
    "I didn't have sex with him, Brian."  I sighed.
    "I don't believe you.  What were you doing in his room with him just
having a towel on?  That's just a little too convenient.  Especially since
you guys disappeared together last night after you thought I was here for
Carson.  You probably did it just to get me back for that."  Brian fumed.
    "Yeah, so I went and fucked the one person I find the most sexually
repulsive?  Don't think so, Bri."  I replied as smart alecky as I could.
    "So you did?"  Brian asked seriously.
    "Goddamn it Brian!"  I screeched.
    "DID YOU DO IT?"  Brian screamed back.
    "Yeah, and it was the best.  I never knew that I liked sex that much.
Nick's sooooo much better in bed than you."  I replied.
    "You fucking asshole."  Brian pushed me and walked into the trailer,
the tears pouring freely.
    "You ass." I whispered to myself.
    
    I walked back from the beach to the hotel and spent the rest of the day
and night in my room.  Nick and A.J. both called a couple times, but I just
told them I wanted to be alone.  They both told me Brian was having his
time of the month or something, but I told them to forget it.  I stayed
alone all of Sunday, other than the photo shoots for magazines that came
down to cover the event.
    The next week, I went to film The Grind each morning at 9 a.m. then
hosted TRL in the early afternoon with Carson.  This was no easy task.  He
had to be an asshole every second of the show.  Then I spent the nights at
the big events and concerts and at clubs with MTV, helping to host each
one.
    I thought Brian never would realize what an ass he had been.  He never
called, left a message or anything.  Nick and A.J. kept calling to tell me
that Brian was just being an ass and to not let it get me down, but I had a
feeling we were finally through.


(Part 38)

    Finally, it was Saturday morning, and it was time for me to leave.  I
had planned on staying that night since the guys were doing a small concert
on the beach, but since Brian and I were unofficially broken up, it was my
decision to just leave early and get back to New York.  All the guys, sans
Brian came by to tell me 'goodbye' and to have a safe trip.  I just wish
Brian would snap out of it.  I still couldn't believe he'd think I'd have
sex with Nick, especially when I had him.
    I packed up all my stuff and headed for the plane, regardless of the
situation.  I knew I would probably be upset leaving the way I did, but I
had had enough of the bullshit.  I caught the ten o'clock plane, and was on
my way home.  It was about two o'clock in the afternoon when I arrived in
New York.  I got to my place and was depressed as shit.  I didn't know what
to do.  I kept thinking about how we worked through this kind of thing
before, but this was way out of hand.
    I knew I had to fly back to Key West and make up with Brian, but I just
didn't know if I could make myself apologize for something I didn't do.


(Part 39)

    "Okay everyone.  This is going to be the last song for the night for
us.  Then we're gonna let Sixpence None The Richer get up here."  Nick
announced, to which the crowd expressed their desire to have them stay all
night.
    "Before we do this song, I want to say a few things." Brian announced.

    He didn't see me, but I was standing in the very back of the crowd on
the moonlit beach.  I had come back on the first available flight, and
luckily got back when I did.

    "I just wanted to say that I'm dedicating this song to someone that I
really really love.  I wish they were here right now to hear it, but I
guess this is better than nothing.  I just wanted to say that--I messed up.
I wish you could overlook it like you always do.  I don't really know how
to express what all you mean to me.  I don't think my vocabulary is big
enough.  I just can't believe I didn't trust you.  I should have known you
wouldn't lie to me."  He spoke. "But, I hope with this song, you'll
understand what I mean, like you always do."

    I stood there, waiting for a sign from God.

    "So, anyway, we're gonna do this song.  It's called 'That's What She
Said.'"  Brian announced before sitting down on his stool like all the
other guys.

    Before Brian even began singing, the tears were starting to well up in
my eyes.  I had to try really hard to keep from crying when he finally did
sing.


    "Sho be do be do do do.  Yeah yeah yeah. mmmmmm."

    "There are people that say what you wanna hear,
    Even on a rainy day, They'll tell you the sky is clear.
    When you really really love someone am I right when I say that you want
them near?
    And if you can't even tell them the things that they want to hear?"

    "Always, forever.
    Oh the things she said.
    Never say never.
    Those simple lies that she said.
    I will never leave you.
    All the love I thought she had.
    But can you blame me? No?"

    "Mmmmmmm."
    
    "'Cause that's what she said."

    "That's what she said.
    She told me we'd see forever.
    That's what she said, she said yeah."

    "And there are people that say what they really mean.
    She said she'd always be there.
    She said she'd always care.
    But just when you think that you can trust that someone you really
love.
    Tell me why do you know how stars can fall from above."

    "Always, forever.
    Oh the things she said.
    Never say never.
    Those simple lies that she said.
    I will never leave you.
    All the love I thought she had.
    But can you blame me? No?"

    "'Cause that's what she said."

    "That's what she said.
    She told me we'd see forever.
    That's what she said.
    Oh oh oh oh yeah.
    That's what she said.
    She told me we'd be together.
    That's what she said, she said yeah."

    "'Cause you make promises that you couldn't keep.
    But you're not hurting yourself, you're only hurting me.
    And why would you say things that you really didn't mean?
    Oh how can I make you see just what you mean to me?"

    "Oh oh you say how much you really care.
    Just when I thought I was in love, girl how could you dare.
    If I were you I could not lie even once to the face of the one that I
love so much."

    "Always forever.
    Oh the things she said.
    Never say never.
    Those simple lies that she said.
    I will never leave you.
    All the love I thought she had.
    But can you blame me? No?"
     
    "That's what she said.
    She told me we'd see forever.
    That's what she said.
    Oh oh oh oh yeah.
    That's what she said.
    She told me we'd be together.
    'Cause that's what, oh that's what she said."


    The audience clapped rather loudly as Brian wiped his eyes and made his
way to the side of the stage with the other guys.  The crowd moved to the
right, trying to get a final glimpse at the guys.  I deftly made my way
around the left side and got one of the security gaurds to let me in the
blocked off area.  I moved around to the back of the stage where I knew the
guys would show up as soon as they got done signing autographs.  I didn't
have to stand there long, when the five of them came around the corner.
    All of them stopped in their tracks and smiled at me.  Brian walked
forward toward me.  The others took a hint and left us alone.  Brian and I
stood there for awhile before either of us speaking.

    "Matt, I'm so sorry. I can't believe that I didn't believe you, I mean,
I don't know how you could forgive me.  This is like the third time my
jealousy has gotten in the way."  Brian started to speak.
    "I don't want to hear it."  I said, raising my hand.
    "But...."
    "I just want to say one thing, k?"  I spoke quickly.
    "Okay."  Brian frowned like a whipped puppy
    "Alright, let me see if I can do this right on the first try."  I
spoke.
    "Just tell me."  Brian started to waver in his voice.
    "You are my fire.  The one desire.  Believe when I say.  That I want it
that way.  But we are two worlds are apart.  Can't reach to your heart.
When you say, that I want I want it that way."  I sang quietly, but loud
enough for Brian to hear.
    "Follow me."  Brian grabbed my arm.
 
    We walked all the way down the beach where no one without binoculars
could see us.  Brian immediately wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged
me deeply.

    "Is that it?"  I laughed.
    "No."  He replied.
    "Well, what are you waiting for?"  I asked.
    "Hold on."  Brian shushed me and motioned for me to listen.

    Then I heard it.

    Kiss me.
    Out of the bearded barley.
    Lightly.
    Beside the green green grass.
    Swing Swing.
    Swing the spinning stars.
    You wear those shoes, and I will wear that dress.
    Oh, kiss me.
    Beneath the milky twilight.

    Sixpence None The Richer had taken the stage and were singing their hit
song 'Kiss Me.'

    "That's what I was waiting for."  Brian smiled and kissed me
passionately.
    
    It seemed like we kissed forever.

    "Well, the award for the most romantic kiss definitely belongs to you."
I laughed.
    "I love you, you asshole."  Brian play-punched me in the arm.
    "But I love you more, cunt."  I laughed and kissed him again.
    "This is another one of those moments when I don't care who loves who
more."  Brian laughed and buried his face in my neck and started dancing
with me.
    "No, I guess it doesn't really matter.  Just as long as we do love each
other."  I agreed and wrapped my arms around his waist and danced with him.
    "Now that you've said that..." Brian spoke.
    "Yeah?"
    "I love YOU more."  Brian laughed.
    "Yeah, yeah."  I laughed and kissed him lightly.





Well, was it good?  I hope so.  It seems like I worked on this thing
forever, so if you didn't like it, cut me some slack....LOL I just want to
say something to someone that I HOPE will read this.  I'm not gonna beat
around the bush here, so here goes:

    Okay, I'm fucked up, and I fucked up.  I wish I could be as open as
you.  It seems
    like everytime I try to talk to you and tell you how I REALLY feel, the
ole defense
    mechanism goes into hyper drive.  I know you'll probably think this is
just another
    one of my "episodes" but I LOVE YOU.  More than anyone I've met.  And I
don't
    mean this as let's get married type of love, 'cause how could I want
that from
    someone I haven't met in real life yet.  But I guess you gotta go with
you're heart and
    try very damn hard to get past your issues.  God knows I got ALOT of
them.  And it's
    so fuckin' weird when I do open up to you.  I mean, I won't even open
up to my
    mother or sister.  I guess I should try really damn hard to get past my
defenses
    because typing this right now makes me realize you only get a chance
like this in a
    lifetime to meet your soulmate.  And by soulmate, I don't mean
necessarily a lover,
    just someone that you connect with so well that it makes you happy to
wake up
    each day because you know you will talk to them--if only for a second.
Believe me,
    I'm beating myself day and night for being a bitch to you, and lying
about hating you.
    I guess I did have myself convinced that it was best that way, but now
I realize it
    wasn't.  I just love you so much I could puke when I don't talk to you.
I mean, when
    we WERE talking on a daily basis, those were probably the happiest
moments of my
    psuedo-fabulous existence.  So, you probably won't care even if you DO
read this.  I
    don't blame you a damn bit.  But, you always said I had to have the
last word, right?
    So, this is my last words, unless you want more.  If you decide to talk
to my
    psycho-ass, it's gonna be hard for me.  We both know that.  But I've
decided that I
    WANT to try to open up.  I love you for putting up with me as long as
you have.  So
    even if you don't respond to this, I love you, so just live with
it...LOL I guess it will be
    easy for you to take this to heart since I think you understand my shit
more than I
    do.  I've NEVER known ANYONE that knew me better than I knew myself.
And you
    haven't even been able to touch me, but you know me so damn well.  For
that, I love
    you.  And now I shall end this, 'cause all the other readers are
probably wondering
    who I am writing this to.  Well, that's our little secret.  Promise me
one thing.  Even
    if you DON'T respond, just remember that I DO love you, regardless of
what I have
    said or WILL say.  Oh, and the part where Brian sang "That's What She
Said", well
    that's not so much for the story's sake, if you know what I mean.
Love, Me.


To the rest of you that that paragraph wasn't intended for, well, LOL, I
hope the story was good.  Remember to e-mail me, if you want, at
BBBRok1057@aol.com.  It's been fun actually writing more to this series.  I
thought it would be a chore, but my lazy ass actually enjoyed it.  LOL This
is probably be the last bit of writing from me for awhile, because I'm
actually thinking of writing a more mainstream story, book, novel,
something to that affect, anywho.  So, luv to all the fans, and remember:
If you want it to be good boy, get yourself a Backstreet Boy!!!!!!!

Leprechaun