Date: Mon, 12 Jul 1999 05:16:31 EDT From: BBBRok1057@aol.com Subject: Bad Boy B-Rok Okay, I tried to get this one written ASAP after what e-mails I got started accumulating about the last section. You guys hate cliffhangers, don'tcha? LOL So what do ya'll think will happen? Will Justin make a move on Matt? Will Matt give in and cheat on Brian? Will Matt shoot his advances down like he did A.J. and Nick's? Do you think maybe Justin WON'T make a pass? Well, you're all about to find out when you read this section. And you can all thank JM and MindPieces for digging in my ass every single day until this was posted. They're both some persistent guys when it came to the "Justin thing", so you should all thank them. LOL Also, I appreciate both of them attempting to help me with this section. It may not have worked out, but they got my brain going, so I appreciate it. Anyway, I don't have much to say about this section, or witty things to add at all. Oh, wait--I'm pleased to announce that my single butt is now taken, thank you, thank you. LOL And I couldn't be happier. Just thought I'd share my giddiness for a moment. So anyway, if this story is illegal to read in your neck of the woods, go ahead anyway (DAMN THE MAN!). Or don't. If you don't like homo-sex, don't flame me, 'cause I love it, and it pisses me off when people make fun of my lifestyle. Or when they make fun of my man (Brian L., well my dream man anyway). Then I blackout, and wake up to hear on the news about how some homophobe was killed in a dramatic fight to the death with an unidentified queen. So what I'm saying is, open your mind and let people live their lives. Yeah, I think that's it. Well nevertheless, don't flame me with your insecurities. Also, if you have any comments, concerns, questions, answers, want to say you loved the story, liked it, hated it, whatever, send it all in my way to BBBRok1057@aol.com! And please, remember this is ALL fiction, so please, none of those cute letters asking for more details on my "relationship with Brian." Not that I don't love them, it's just not true. It's all just a fantasy. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the conclusion to the cliffhanger! Lep. Bad Boy B-Rok By-Leprechaun (Part 51) "Here we are." Justin open the door for me. "Great." I smiled as I walked into the pitch black room. I walked a couple steps, and Justin closed the door, leaving us in complete darkenss. "Hold on, let me get the lamp." Justin spoke. "Alright." I replied and stood still. "Oops." Justin "accidentally" bumped into my backside with his crotch. "Will you just get the lights?" I sighed out of frustration. "Hey, that was an accident." Justin replied, trying to sound innocent. "Yeah yeah." I sighed again. Suddenly, the lights came on, and Justin was standing in front of me. I looked around quickly. It was a pretty good looking apartment. Tastefully decorated and furnished, with just a touch of Justin to go with it. It was definitely liveable. I set my backpack down on the floor, next to the couch. "So, where are the treatments?" I asked quickly. "Oh, yeah. Have a seat." Justin pointed at the couch. "Mind if I smoke?" I asked. "Mi casa es su casa." Justin laughed as he walked out of the room, towards I suppose the bedroom. I sat down on the couch and lit a cigarette, crossing my legs and propping my chin on my hand. I had smoked about half the cigarette before I got tired of waiting. "Justin? Did you pass out back there?" I tried to be funny. "No, I just wanted to change while I was back there." Justin walked out of the hall with silk black boxers and wife beaters on, his hands full of papers. "Um, okay." I rolled my eyes. Justin sat down on the couch next to me, his leg propped up on the couch, looking at me. He immediately handed me the stack, or should I say pile, of papers. I placed my cigarette between my lips and started to sort through the pile. The treatments were really rough sketches and drawings, nothing that looked too fancy. "What song?" I spoke, my cigarette balancing between my lips. "Here." Justin reached over and grabbed the cigarette, holding it for me. "Thanks." I replied with a smile. "No problem," Justin smiled seductively, never taking his eyes from mine,"It's for Sailing." "Ah, cool. So explain the concept to me." I replied, wanting him to do something besides stare at me while I looked at the treatments. "Well, it's for the song Sailing." Justin started. "Right." I replied. "And it's about a guy who's girlfriend just died in a freakish sailboat accident. He finds out and his buddies are sitting around his house when he finds out." Justin continued. "You and the guys being my buddies?" I questioned. "Right. And after he finds out, it's all a teary scene and all ofcourse, so his buddies are all trying to console him, which is when we start singing 'Sailing'." Justin smiled proudly. "Sounds cool." I looked up and smiled, placing the papers on the coffee table. "Here." Just smiled again and placed my cigarette to my lips. "Thanks." I opened my lips and let him give me my cigarette. "So, do you think you'd be interested?" Justin laid his hand on my knee. "Um, yeah, I might be." I looked down at his hand. I stood up quickly, walking over to the built in set of shelves by the entrace to the hall. I noticed several picture frames. Some with Justin and the guys in them, and some with what was probably family members. "Want something to drink?" Justin asked. "Sure." I turned to look at him. "Alright, I'll be right back." Justin jumped off the couch and practically ran into the kitchen. I stood there, examining the pictures, as I heard Justin shaking glasses and opening cupboards. "Do you like wine?" Justin shouted. "Yeah, merlot or cabernet." I replied without looking away from the pictures. "That I can do." Justin laughed from the kitchen. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed his stereo and impressive collection of CD's. I immediately had to go check it out. I squatted down, so my eyes were level with the rack that held the CD's. We seemed to have quite the same taste in music. However, he pretty much had every CD ever made. "Here you go." Justin showed up from nowhere and shoved a wine glass full in front of my face. "Yeah, that oughta last me for awhile." I joked. "Well, there's always more where that came from." Justin smiled as I slowly raised from my squatting position. "I'll try to be good and not drink it all." I tried not to be annoyed. "Don't worry, I can always buy more." Justin assured me. "I'll remember that," I smiled,"So, that's a pretty impressive CD collection you have there." "Well, music is my thing." Justin laughed. "I'd imagine." I teased. "Okay, I'll give you that much. So, do you want to listen to something?" Justin offered. "Sure, I have a glass of wine, it won't kill me to listen to some music 'til I'm done drinking it." I replied. "Alright, anything in particular?" Justin asked, smiling. "I love Hole, but it's not very relaxing," I laughed, "how about Sarah McLachlan?" "Works for me." Justin replied and bent over to look for it. I couldn't help it. I had to get a peek at the ass. It's not like it was cheating on Brian, I just wanted to look. So I did. "Found it." Justin stood, almost catching me staring at him. "Good." I turned quickly and sat down on the couch, lighting a cigarette. Justin pressed play on the CD player and began to walk over to me as 'Building A Mystery' started to play. He sat down next to me, taking up his previous position. I slowly sipped my wine and smoked as he sat there, staring at me. "So, what have you been up to?" Justin asked, gazing at me. "Besides having pneumonia?" I laughed as I exhaled smoke. "Yeah." Justin replied with a giggle. "Well, there's been the awards shows, hosting events, charity events and fundraisers, video shoots, promotions for club kids, looping the film, and just all around nosiness from the press." I replied laughing. "I know the feeling." Justin replied. "So, what about you?" I asked quickly. "I've pretty much been doing the same for the last month. Just keeping busy like usual." Justin giggled. "Yeah. In fact, I'm about to get back to negotiating film deals and stuff when I get back to New York." I replied. "Sounds like tons of fun." Justin laughed. "Oh yeah." I replied as I took a big drink of wine. I don't know what happened, or why I did it, but I ended up talking to Justin until two in the morning. I had one too many glasses of wine, so I was a little tipsy at the end of the evening. Or the beginning of the morning I should say. "Oh, damn. I'm gonna have to get a cab to take me back to the hotel." I laughed as I looked at the clock. "You don't have to leave." Justin scooted closer. "Well no, but I have a flight tomorrow afternoon, and I can't miss that." I replied. "But there's so much to stay for." Justin replied. "Well, yeah, but Brian would kill me if I didn't come back tomorrow. Especially since I didn't come back tonight." I said and stood slowly, trying to not fall over. "Why?" Justin asked seriously. "Um, because." I didn't realize he didn't know. "Okay, but why?" Justin stood, walking up to me. "Well, it's sorta complicated." I said, raising my hand to let him see the two rings. "Oh, really?" Justin stepped back. "Yeah. He's my fiance." I replied, a smile forming on my face. "Does that matter about tonight, though?" Justin moved back to where he had been standing. "What do you mean?" I was confused. "Well, I'm here. Brian isn't." Justin replied. "True. However, that's why I want to get back to New York." I replied. "No you don't." Justin stated like he knew me so well. "Huh?" I was a little too tipsy to argue. "Come here." Justin grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch. I sat down and he quickly plopped down next to me. "What?" I asked. "Well, Brian doesn't have to know anything about what you did tonight." Justin lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it. "I didn't do anything wrong tonight." I replied and pulled my hand away, calmly. "You still have the chance." Justin smiled evily. "I think not." I laughed, though I had to admit the thought was extremely appealing. "I think so." Justin leaned forward and kissed me. I wanted so badly to pull away, to shove Justin away from me. But I couldn't. I wanted this. I wanted it more than anything. To fuck Justin right there on his living room couch. To have him go down on me. Justin straddled my lap, continuing to kiss me deeply. I slowly reached down, shoving my hands into Justin's boxers, reaching for the one thing that I wanted right then. My hands made contact with Justin's hard cock, and I was breathing heavy, wanting more. "Oh God, yes!" Justin hissed. "I want you, Justin." I grabbed the back of Justin's head and made him look me in the eye. Justin nodded and slowly started to kiss my neck. He slowly lifted my shirt over my head and kissed my chest. He made a trail of kisses from my chest down to my stomach, stopping at my belt. Slowly, he undid my belt and unzipped my pants, kissing my belly button again. "Wait! Stop, Justin!" I bucked, throwing Justin off of me. "What?!?" Justin looked up at me, surprised. "This whole seduction thing. This can't happen." I stated, standing up. "Why not?" Justin looked hurt, but disbelieving. "I'm engaged. I love Brian." I replied, zipping my pants and buckling my belt. "This isn't about love, this is about sex." Justin stood and walked towards me. "This is about shit." I replied. "What? You're going to let those two little rings on your finger stop you?" Justin slowly knelt, trying to unbuckle my pants again. "No, I'm letting my love for Brian stop me. He means more to me than one night of sex, no matter how incredible, could ever mean." I replied, pushing Justin away. "Then why are you here?" Justin looked up at me from his kneeling position and laughed. "Good question." I replied, grabbed my backpack and walked out the door, slamming it behind me. I didn't know anything about the town I was in or where I was going, but I got out of there as quickly as possible. When I hit the street, I started running in the direction I thought I needed to go. I must have run a couple miles before I came to a gas station with a pay phone. It wasn't long before I had a cab to pick me up and take me back to my hotel. (Part 52) I got off my airplane at four o'clock in the afternoon the next day, feeling like I had betrayed Brian, even when nothing REALLY happened. I wasn't able to get ahold of Brian ahead of time to tell him when I'd be arriving, so he wasn't there to meet me. I opted to just leave a message on the machine at my place, incase, though. I casually walked through the crowded airport, my head hung, ignoring the stares I was getting. I pulled my ball cap and sunglasses on at the luggage claim, to keep anyone from recognizing me fully. I quickly grabbed my luggage and headed straight for the entrance. I grabbed the first cab I found and told him where to take me. I was ready for a warm bath so I could get my mind straight. The cabbie dropped me off at my apartment, and was almost speeding away before I even got out. I went up the stairs to my apartment as quickly as possible, just wanting to hole up for awhile, not having to see anyone but Brian. I opened the door to my apartment, to find a sight. There were candles lit all over the place, and roses everywhere imagineable. I closed the door and set my suitcases and backpack down, looking for a sign of Brian. I walked into the living room, looking for him, he wasn't there. Finally, after searching everywhere for him, I walked into the bedroom. Brian was on the bed, seductively laying there, waiting on me. Nude. "Oh really?" I laughed when I saw him. "It took you long enough to get here." Brian acted like he had been waiting forever. "I hope I didn't leave you hard-up for too long." I smiled and started to walk towards the bed. "Long enough." Brian grinned and got up to a kneeling position on the bed. "Well, I guess I'll have to make it up to you." I laughed as I leaned over the bed to kiss Brian on the lips. "I'll show you how to make it up to me." Brian said seductively, and yanked me on to the bed. Brian straddled me, and looked down into my eyes. "Yeah baby." I laughed as Brian yanked my shirt off of me. "I missed you so much." Brian whispered and kissed my neck. "I missed you more." I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. "You only think so." Brian sat up and looked down at me. "Nope, I know I missed you more." I giggled and sat up on my elbows. Brian slowly traced a finger from my neck, and down my chest to my stomach, stopping at my belt. "Um, Brian?" I realized I had to tell Brian. "What?" Brian looked at me like I woke him from a trance. "I have to tell you something." I replied, not wanting to. "Tell me quick." Brian smiled and started to grind his hips against mine. "It's about Justin Timberlake." I replied, stopping Brian's grinding immediately. "What about him?" Brian looked cautious. "Well, I'll just tell you right off. He took me to dinner, and asked me to be in a video for N'Sync." "Yeah?" Brian rushed me. "He didn't have the treatments at the hotel, so we had to go to his apartment." I started slowly. "Jesus, Matt." Brian looked down at me. "And I saw the treatments and heard the idea, and it sounded really good. But then I had some wine. And well some more wine." I continued. "Goddamnit." Brian got off of me and knelt beside me. "Well, we sorta started kissing, and were about to do it, when I remembered you and stopped. I mean, NOTHING happened, but I can't not tell you." I spoke quickly. "I told you not to go." Brian avoided looking at me. "I know. I actually thought it was business. I never thought it would turn into what it did." I replied, sitting up. "So, you didn't do anything wrong?" Brian asked, still not looking at me. "No. I was a little drunk, so it kept me from stopping him right away, but I didn't let it go any further than kissing and touching." I replied. "What kind of touching?" Brian asked. "I put my hands in his boxers." I went red from embarassment. "But, there was NO sex, right?" Brian asked. "None." I replied, the color returning to my face. "Okay." Brian didn't look happy. "Are you mad at me?" I asked. I felt like crying. I didn't want Brian mad at me. "No. I'm just sorta sad now." Brian replied. "I'm sorry Brian. I didn't mean to hurt you. I would've never gone if I knew that this would happen." I started to cry. "Do you still love me, Matt?" Brian looked up at me. "What kind of question is that?" I asked, still boo-hooing. "Do you still love me?" Brian repeated with a serious tone. "Ofcourse, I do. I love you more than anything." I replied. "And you're positive?" Brian asked. "I've never been more sure about anything, ever. I know I've grown a little distant over the last little while, but I realized last night that I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life." I replied, pulling Brian close to me. "I love you, too." Brian kissed my neck. "I've been an ass for not showing it to you every day, in every possible way that I could." I sobbed into Brian's chest. "Matt, I'll tell you what." Brian looked at me. "What?" I stopped sobbing, but the tears still staining my face. "You have a very big chance to start making it up right now." Brian looked at me. "Anything you want." I smiled at Brian. "You will?" Brian looked not so sure. "Yes." I was eager to please him. "Will you call me a cab?" Brian asked softly. "Do what?" I was shocked. "Call me a cab, I have to leave." Brian stood up and walked over to the closet, getting some of his clothes out. "Why?" I asked, feeling like crying again. "I just need some 'Me Time' right now." Brian replied, slipping on some pants and a shirt. "Are you sure you're not mad?" I asked, wiping my eyes. "Positive." Brian didn't even look at me, he just continued dressing and putting his shoes on. "Okay." I knew he was upset, if not mad. I went into the living room and called a cab for Brian, then sat down on the couch, crossing my arms on my knees and hanging my head. "I'll be back." Brian stated as he walked into the living room, his backpack over his shoulder. "Okay. When?" I asked pathetically. "Later." Brian didn't look at me. "Alright." I looked down again. Brian left without even saying 'goodbye'. I hung my head and cried. Cried like I never cried before. I knew I was in trouble. And I knew I deserved it. I should have never gone to Justin's apartment. I should never have let him seduce me. I hadn't had sex with him, but I was one of the few people in the country that could say they knew how big he was. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should get to work on Kevin and Barb's offers and ignore the situation and let Brian cool off, or if I should run after him. I didn't know if I should just chill out and wait for him to come back or not, either. I opted to sit on the couch, blaring MTV while I waited for Brian to come back. (Part 53) "Hey, Matt. Wake up, sweetie." "What?" I opened my eyes to see Brian standing over me. It was dark outside and MTV was showing the "buzzworthy" videos, so I knew it was late. I had fallen asleep on the couch waiting on Brian's return. "Wake up." Brian repeated. "I'm awake." I replied and sat up on the couch. "Alright, we have to talk." Brian stated as he sat down on the couch next to me. "Hold on." I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up a little more. I sat there for a moment, rubbing my eyes, trying to get adjusted. "Where'd you go?" I asked as soon as I was coherent. "I went to see Nick." Brian replied. "Oh?" I replied, knowing he went to Nick when he was upset. "Yeah, ofcourse A.J. was there, too." Brian giggled. "What did they have to say?" I asked nervously. "Well, they didn't agree with anything I had to say, pretty much." "Well, what did YOU have to say?" I asked again. "Matt, I really think we need to break up." Brian stated bluntly. "Do what?!?!" I was shocked. "I just really think that we aren't ready for this relationship." Brian sighed, heavy-hearted. "Where is all this coming from? I mean, you proposed to me a few short days ago?" I spoke quickly. "It's always something with us, Matt. I mean, Nick, A.J., and now Justin." Brian replied. "That's not my fault. I didn't make any of them hit on me." I replied defensively. "I know. But there's also all the work, and me and the guys will be touring soon with the new album. It's just looking really bleak right now." "Brian, we can work through this. I don't want to break up." I replied. "I really don't see how we can make this work. I'm jealous of you all the time, even when someone isn't pestering you. If I'm not with you for five minutes, I panic. I don't want to be that type of person. I dont' want to put you through it right now." Brian defended his decision. "You're not putting me through anything, Brian. You've never done anything that made me hate you for even a second." I was about to cry again. "I'm not the type of person you deserve right now." Brian wouldn't hear it. "Do you still love me, Brian?" I asked, immediately losing the urge to cry. "What?" Brian looked at me. "Do you still love me, Brian Littrell?" I repeated sternly. "I-I-I...um, I really don't know right now." Brian said the one thing that would do it. "You've fallen out of love with me?" I was beyond shocked. "I think so." Brian reinforced. "Well, I guess that's it." I didn't know what else to say. "I still love you, but I can't make you love me." "I think I've been feeling this way for awhile. I think you sorta knew it and that's why we were growing apart. It's pretty much my fault." "Don't blame yourself." I replied, upset. "I think the Justin thing just helped me decide." Brian continued. "Alright." "So, are you angry?" Brian asked. "No, I'm not angry. I'm just really sad." I tried to hold back the tears. "Do you have anything you need to say to me?" Brian asked, looking ashamed. "No. I mean, if it's over, it's over. Since you don't love me anymore, I really can't say anything to change that." I replied, pulling the rings off my fingers. "You don't have to give those back." Brian started to cry. "I know. But they don't belong to me anymore. I don't belong to you anymore." I explained. "Okay." Brian replied. "I'm sorry." I replied, beginning to sob. "You don't have anything to be sorry for." Brian hugged me. "Yes. I'm sorry I can't make you love me like I love you." I replied, sobbing on his shoulder. "Do you want me to stay here tonight. Sleep on the couch?" Brian asked. "No. You should probably leave." I knew it would be best. "You sure?" "Yeah, there's no point in you staying." I answered, taking my head off of his shoulder. "Do you want me to get my stuff?" He asked. "You can get it tomorrow if you want. I'll be here." I replied, wiping my eyes. "Alright. Then I'm going to head out." Brian stood up and grabbed his backpack, stopping to wipe his eyes as well. "Okay." I replied, trying to not look him in the eye. "I guess this is it." Brian opened the door and turned around. "Yeah, I guess it is." I sighed, trying not to cry. "I'll miss you Matt." Brian looked at the floor. "I'll miss you, too Brian." I answered, getting choked up. "We'll still be friends, right?" Brian asked desperately. "Ofcourse. But, I think we'll need some time apart." I responded, logically. "Yeah." Brian turned to leave. "Bye." I responded the only way I knew how. "You know I'll always love you, right?" Brian said as he stopped dead in his tracks. "I love you too, B-Rok." I broke down and cried. Then he was gone. I didn't know what to do, or how to feel, but I know I sobbed for hours. It took me quite awhile to move from the couch. It was beginning to get light outside when I finally went from the living room into my room and fell asleep, in a stupor. (Part 54-Almost Two Months Later) "You all packed up and ready to leave?" Nick sat down on the bed as I zipped up the last suitcase. "Yeah. I suppose I can't take much more than I am." I smiled, sadly. "Are you excited?" Nick decided to avoid the topic at hand. "To go to Salt Lake City for two months? Oh hell yeah! Always been my dream." I teased. "Okay, enough sarcasm." Nick laughed. "You know I'm gonna miss you guys, right?" I blushed. "Not more than we'll miss you." Nick let a tear roll down his cheek. "Including Brian?" I cocked an eyebrow. "Even Bri." Nick walked over to me. "Yeah, I bet." I smiled wider as Nick wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. "I love you, Matt." Nick said, his bottom lip quivering. "I love you, too Nickie." I laughed and ruffled his hair. "Hey, boy!" Nick pretended to be offended and wrestled me onto the bed. "You're messing up my beautiful clothes." I laughed since I had on a t-shirt and shorts. "Yeah right." Nick laughed as we laid on the bed, still holding each other in a hug. "You better let me up, or I might get excited. I haven't had any in over a month, ya' know." I teased. "Then I'd have something to rub in Brian's face." Nick laughed, and stood, pulling me with him. "I don't think he'd care right now." I sighed. "Why wouldn't he?" Nick and I turned around to see Brian standing in the doorway. "Hi." I was appalled that he showed. "I'll just be downstairs." Nick looked at me and quickly left. Brian stood there until Nick was out of the room, then closed the door. "Hey." I stated and sat on the bed. "Hey back atcha." Brian smiled and walked over to sit next to me. "I didn't think you'd come tell me goodbye." I said. "Well, I wasn't going to, but I didn't want my insecurities to stop me from seeing you again." Brian replied. "So, do we make this short and sweet, with the quick hug and all?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood. "No, I want more than that." Brian blushed. "Huh?" I asked dumbly. Brian leaned over and kissed me, pulling me into a hug. We stayed like that for about five minutes before he let go of me. "Oh." I smiled. "Yeah, I wanted one last kiss before I lost ya' for good." Brian frowned. "Hey, like you said when you left that one night." I spoke as I stood up. "We'll always be friends, right?" "Yeah, I guess so." Brian smiled widely. "And friends help friends carry luggage to the limo." I laughed. "You asshole." Brian laughed and stood. "I'm a damn good one, baby." I smiled as he grabbed two of my suitcases. I grabbed my other two suitcases, flipped the light switch and we were gone. Brian and I locked up my apartment and carried the suitcases down to the street where the guys and the limo were waiting. The limo driver loaded up the suitcases while the guys and I just stood there. "Alright, hug me. I can't take it anymore." A.J. faked a sob and ran up to me. "Ah, don't cry, wittle boy." I laughed and hugged A.J. A.J. all of the sudden reached down and grabbed my ass, making me jump. "I always wanted to do that." He smiled complacently as he let go of me, walking off. "I cannot believe he did that." Nick smiled as he walked up to me. "Well, you can beat him down later." I laughed as I hugged him. "Woo hoo!" Nick screamed as I grabbed his ass. "I always wanted to do THAT." I smiled at A.J. as Nick blushed. "Come here." Kevin walked up to me, arms extended. "Take care of Brian." I whispered into his ear as I hugged him. "You know I will." Kevin smiled and ruffled my hair. "Get over here Sweet D. You ain't gettin' off easy." I made Howie laugh as he walked over to me. "Be good, Matt." Howie stated. "I think that's more than you've said to me the whole time I've known you." I laughed as he let go. "Alright, my turn." Brian walked up to me and grabbed me roughly. "I'm gonna miss you, Bri." I whispered where the other guys couldn't hear. "I'll miss you more. And I still love you." Brian shocked me with his words. "I love you, too." I replied quickly. "Forever?" Brian asked. "And a day." I replied as I began to tear up. "I'll love you longer than that." He sighed. "Okay, I guess I better get in and leave before A.J. grabs my ass again." I laughed. Everyone said their final goodbyes as I hopped into the limo and shut the door. As the driver pulled off, I watched out the rear window as the guys waved to me as I waved back. As soon as the guys were out of sight, I turned around in my seat. I looked straight ahead and lit a cigarette while the driver drove. I was on my way to a whole new beginning... THE END Boo hoo, boo hoo. I'm crying here. That was the end. Well, I don't really know what to say now. Don't hate me, k? LOL Well, I really hate to end this story, but I was talking to Donnie the other day, and he told me all good things come to an end. That's pretty much true. The WHOLE story NEVER ends, but all stories are part of a bigger one. While the bigger story lives on, the smaller stories have to lead into something else. Everyday is a new beginning, and you never really reach a finish line. Ofcourse, some people are in a race to get to the finish line, but hey, won't THEY be surprised? So, after being theological and all, I blew a fuse. I'm gonna resort to thanking some people here: -----Shawn : My "little man". The porn star. The prude. The last name interrogator. I really appreciate having a friend like you around. Nothing I can say could fully express my love for you. Just remember, keep the perversion rolling and I'll never stop talking to you. *WINK* -----Jesse : My little perverted picture sender. The PERVERT. LOL JK You'll always keep me on my toes with your witty comebacks on ICQ. Of course, the ability to talk about sex openly with you helps, too. And don't worry, you can drive Donnie crazy while I'm "gone". Love you, Snootch! -----CJ : Ceej, my devoted bitching partner. I was listening to Hole tonight, and I found a couple quotes that were just PERFECT for you. "When they get what they want, well they never want it again." and "You better watch out what you wish for. It better be worth it. So much to die for." Enjoy your happiness while you have it. Don't sweat the petty things. And don't pet the sweaty things. JK Happiness is such a blessing, don't make yourself miserable when you are so blessed. You have sooooo much going for you, don't look for excuses to be unhappy with what you have. I love you, you sexy bitch! ----Russ : Another one of my "little men". You've been cool to talk to, and give advice to. I think it's cool that you never lose your interest in asking questions. You can achieve anything you put your mind to, and just remember, one day, you'll have that big, strong man. *WINK* -----Donnie : There's not much I can say here that would fully express my feelings for you, and US. It's amazing the way we connect and understand each other without even trying. I just can't wait to go on my "pilgrimage" and get some stuff in line. Maybe that will make a few things a little easier. When I'm gone next week off and on, you can just listen to "The One" and "Sailing", and think of me. It won't be long before I'm back. I love you, and remember, it's all downhill from here, baby. I'll make sure to write you alot of poems on my "trip". Love you more, and I'll miss you more, so just deal with it. AND FINALLY -----Adam : I can't believe I just remembered you. LOL I always have alot of fun talking to you. It always brightens my day. And that little thing we were talking about tonight, well....Follow your heart, it's the one organ that will let you down one day, so don't waste it while you got it. I know you'll make the decision that is best for Adam, and not let anyone else sway you. I love ya, and remember, you're a cutie, so deal with it. Okay, I guess that's it all. If you feel like I should have put your name up there with a paragraph, I'm sorry. I love you, too! However, everyone else that had ANYTHING to do with the story, be it reading it, or just being a friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. So, I love you all, and I'll be back with something new sometime soon! Thanks again to all the amazing fans, and their support. Love, Lep