Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 02:16:18 EST
From: Bbbrokworknprog@aol.com
Subject: Bad Boy B-Rok: Whatever It Takes Parts 6-10

Here we go again, folks.  I was glad to hear everyone enjoyed the last
installment. I was just very surprised to open my e-mail the day after the
story was posted to see such an overwhelming response to the last section.
It was very, very nice to find.  So, keep the e-mails coming.  It's like
crack for me.  LOL As is always required to be said--I don't know any of
the celebrities mentioned in this story, so I don't know any of their
sexual proclivities.  And as has been established, I'd screw them all
(except Howie) regardless of their orientation.  Having said that, all
celebrities (except Howie) that are mentioned in this story may give me a
booty call if they read this.  Oh hell, Howie you can call to--but only if
you'll hook me up with Brian.  If you have any questions, answers,
comments, want to say you hate or love the story, send me an e-mail at
bbbrokworknprog@aol.com!  Enjoy!

"And I really, really, really care. And I really, really, really want
you. And I think I'm kinda scared. 'Cause I don't want to lose you. If you
really, really, really care, then maybe you can hang through. I hope you
understand, it's nothing to you. My heart's at a low. I'm so much to
manage. I think you should know that I've been damaged. I'm falling in
love, there's one disadvantage. I think you should know that I've been
damaged."~TLC, 'Damaged'.



Whatever It Takes
Bad Boy B-Rok
By-Lep
(Part Six)



	"Why do you keep avoiding anything I ask you?"  Brian followed me
out onto the deck, sliding the glass door shut behind himself.
	"I'm not avoiding, I'm downright dodging."  I retorted as I pulled
my pack of smokes out of my pocket.
	"Are jokes really necessary right now?"  Brian snapped.

	I paused for a second, realizing that, no, maybe jokes were not
appropriate, then yanked a cigarette out of the pack.  Brian stared at me
as I brought the cigarette to my lips and lit it, but didn't speak.  It
wasn't until I was puffing away and my cigarettes and lighter were back in
my pocket that he decided to break the silence.

	"Well?"  He sighed.
	"What?"  I asked, exhaling. "I believe we've established that I
don't want to answer you."
	"Just answer me, Matthew."  Brian used my full first name
intentionally to get a rise out of me.  "What is going on with all this
crap lately?"
	"Why does anything have to be going on?"  I asked calmly, not
giving into the fight.  "Just because things got weird for a bit doesn't
mean anything weird is going on."
	"What bullshit!"  He snapped.

	The glass door slid open behind Brian.

	"Daddy?"  Booker squeaked from the opening of the door.
	"Yeah, buddy?"  I smiled genuinely at him.
	"What's wrong?"  He glanced at Brian quickly, but Brian turned away
from him.
	"Nothing, buddy."  I replied.  "Is Sponge Bob over?"
	"No."  He glanced at Brian again.
	"Well, why aren't you watching it?"  I chuckled, trying to sound
normal.

	He just stood there, glancing from Brian, back to me, then back to
Brian again.

	"You and Daddy are fighting."  He stated simply.
	"We're just having a discussion, kiddo."  I winked.  "You want me
to kick your little butt at some Playstation while we wait on dinner?"
	"What're we having?"  He asked, still a little bit suspicious.
	"Daddy was about to go make something."  I shrugged.  "What're you
going to make, Bri?"

	Brian shot me an "I hate you" look before answering.

	"I'm gonna make chicken nuggets, macaroni and broccoli for you,
Booker."  Brian made it clear he was only going to feed one person tonight.
	"Can I have some chocolate cake?"  Booker's face lit up.
	"If you eat everything else."  Brian answered Booker, but his eyes
stayed on me.
	"Okay!"  Booker giggled and closed the door, heading back to the
den.

	I took another deep drag off my cigarette as I stared back at
Brian.  If I didn't know how much Brian loved me, I'd have thought he
wanted to kill me from the look he had on his face.  He hadn't closed the
distance between us.  He was still standing ten feet away and glaring at
me.  I didn't know if I should speak, or just let him stare me down.

	"So," Brian began, his tone considerably lower,"are you going to
answer me or not?"
	"There's nothing I need to answer, Brian."  I replied.  "And I
don't know why this is making you so mad."
	"No, you wouldn't know, would you?"  He sneered and headed for the
patio door.
	"What's that supposed to mean?"  I asked quickly before taking
another puff off my cigarette.

	Brian stopped, midstep, and spun on his heels slowly to look at me.

	"You wouldn't know how I feel since I don't hide everything about
myself from you."  He stated lowly.  "You're the only one here that is
emotionally unavailable most of the time."
	"Oh, screw you."  I rolled my eyes and turned away.
	"Well, atleast that's one thing we know you won't hold back on."
Brian snapped, making me cringe.

	I bit my bottom lip to keep from going off as I heard Brian slide
the door open, then close it behind himself.  My hands started to shake as
soon as I knew Brian was in the house.  I guess I was biting my lip too
hard, because I tasted a faint trace of blood in my mouth.  I loosened my
jaws to keep from splitting my lip completely.  However, I realized I still
wanted to hit something.
	Figuring "why stop yourself", I stepped back from the deck rail.
Before I could think about how stupid it would be, I kicked out roughly
with my leg.  The bottom of my sneaker connected with one of the boards
that ran from the bottom of the deck up to the rail. It gave way like
butter.  There was a cracking and snapping sound of wood breaking, and my
left foot went right thru.  I don't know what it achieved, but it sure made
me feel better.  However, my foot felt like shit.






	"What do you want, Aaron?"  I asked as we pulled up to the
drive-thru of McDonald's.
	"Mmmm," He leaned over me to look at the menu,"how about a number
four, super size with a coke.  Oooooh, and an apple pie."
	"Alright."  I replied, then set about ordering our food.

	Brian and Booker were still back at the house.  As I figured, Brian
had made just enough food for Booker.  It really didn't bother me about the
food, just the fact that Brian tried to get me to talk by picking a fight.
Actually, I was blaming Brian for how bad my foot felt, too.  Since I
couldn't cook anything except soup without fucking it up, Aaron and I
decided to go to the nearest McDonald's for our dinners.  I was nice enough
to ask Brian if he wanted anything, but he was giving me the silent
treatment.  It was just too childish for words.  Only I was allowed to do
such things.

	"Ooooh, and get a six piece nugget."  Aaron added as I had just
finished screaming our order at the speaker.
	"And a six piece nugget."  I added quickly.

	We were told our total and to pull around.  Not being one to
disagree when it came to food, I followed orders.

	"I think Brian may be pissed at you."  Aaron stated simply as we
waited at the window for someone to come take our money.
	"Nooooooo, ya' think?"  I replied sarcastically.
	"Definitely.  Just the way he snarled when I asked him what was for
dinner was a tip off."  Aaron nodded.  "He told me to ask 'Mr. High And
Mighty'."

	I just sighed.

	"Apparently, he meant you."  Aaron laughed.
	"Yeah, well, just shush."  I tried to silence him.
	"You two are so dramatic sometimes, you know that?"  Aaron
chattered away.  "Everything is a big deal."
	"Excuse me."  I stopped him.  "As someone that has been the source
of a drama lately, you can't talk.  So leave it alone, alright?"
	"Jeez."  Aaron rolled his eyes, but dropped the subject.

	I ignored the dramatics of the teen, and as soon as we had our
food, I headed back towards the house.  While I was dodging other cars on
the freeway, I made a decision to apologize to Brian for being an ass.
However, I didn't know if he'd accept it or not, because I still wasn't
going to tell him what he wanted to know.  It was my own personal business.
If he felt otherwise, he would just have to keep up the silent treatment.
	Once we had gotten back to the house around nine, Aaron headed
straight to the kitchen with his food.  I didn't care how skinny the boy
was, he ate like a linebacker.  All you had to do was set something edible
in front of him, and a second later it was gone.  He was a growing boy
afterall.  Booker was already tucked into bed, and Brian was in the den.
He was curled up on the sofa and reading a book.  I didn't know if he was
even going to talk to me.
	When I sat down beside him on the couch, he didn't so much as
glance at me.  His eyes stayed in his book, not making notice of me.  I
didn't know if that infuriated me, or made me feel guilty.  It sort of made
me mad that he found a book more important than myself.  Ofcourse, I wasn't
in the best of moods.  Epsecially since I knew this wasn't going to make
things better since I wasn't going to spill my guts to him.

	"Okay, here's the deal."  I began with a sigh.  "I'm sorry for
being an ass to you."

	Brian didn't even look up.

	"I shouldn't have been mean to you earlier.  I'm very sorry for
that.  Alright?"
	"Are you going to answer me yet?"  He asked without so much as
glancing over the top of his book.
	"No, it's none of your business."  I replied without thinking.
	"Then you're wasting your breath."  Brian replied slowly.
	"Oh to hell with you."  I snapped and got up.  I glanced at the
front of his book.  "And Stephen King!"

	Brian didn't reply.  I knew I just sounded like a pissed off moron.
However, that didn't stop me from stomping out of the room like a child
throwing a tantrum.  Hopefully Aaron wouldn't piss me off while I tried to
eat.





	At midnight, Brian and I were still not on speaking terms.  In
fact, he was far over on his side of the bed, and I was so far to my side I
was almost falling off the bed.  Three full grown men could have easily
slept in the space between us.  I had gone to bed at ten o'clock.  Brian
had only been five minutes behind me.  However, I hadn't even closed my
eyes to try to sleep since I crawled into bed.  Without looking, I knew
Brian was awake, too.  His breathing gave it away for me.
	Normally I wouldn't, but I was praying for Booker to come in and
ask to sleep with us.  Anything to kill the silence that was keeping me
awake.  I would've welcomed the burglar alarm going off at that point.
However, when you wish for those things, they just never happen.  So, I had
to lay there and suffer as Brian laid a few feet away and pretended to not
know I was in bed with him.  I sighed and snuggled deeper into the warm
comforter on top of me.
	As soon as I got comfy, Brian tugged on the comforter, taking some
of it away from me.  Naturally, I tugged back, getting back what I had had
in the first place.  More tugging from Brian.  I was on the verge of a
psychotic rage when I pulled back for the third time.  To make matters
worse, Brian pulled so hard, he ripped the whole damned blanket away and
off of me.

	"Goddamnit, stop it!"  I sat up in bed to screech.
	"Stop being a blanket hog!"  Brian sat up and shouted back.
	"I'm not the one that has all the blankets, Brian."  I retorted.
	"Yeah, well sucks to be you."  He laid back down in a huff.
	"Only because I have to sleep in the same bed with you!"  I
screeched louder and fell back in the bed.

	Okay.  So things were getting more childish than two
kindgergartner's fighting over who's momma loved them best.  However, we
were both pissed, tired, and mad at each other.  Each of us thought the
other's attitude was paramount in our minds.

	"Take the blankets!"  Brian shouted and shoved them at me, almost
knocking me off the bed.
	"I don't want them now!"  I shouted back and shoved him back.
	"How typical."  He snorted and gave yet another shove.
	"Yeah, typical of you to be an asshole."  I retorted, but didn't
shove back this time.
	"Oh, so now I'm an asshole?"
	"That's right, asshole."  I confirmed it.
	"Atleast I'm not being a jerk about something stupid."
	"Now I'M stupid?"  I sat up again.
	"If the shoe fits."  Brian shrugged.
	"Asshole!"
	"Stupid!"
	I had to think hard of something non-emotionally damaging to shout.
"You didn't hurt my feelings by making me go to McDonald's.  You're cooking
reeks!"
	"Atleast it resembles a food-like substance."  Brian sat up to face
me.
	"You piss me off!"  I shouted in his face.
	"You piss me off more!"
	"I hate you!"
	"Not as much as I hate you!"  Brian screamed louder than ever.

	Right at the same moment, we lunged for each other.  Not to hit
each other.  Not to strangle each other.  We went for each other's mouths.
Brian grabbed my head on either side of my face and shoved his mouth over
mine.  Immediately my hands went to Brian's t-shirt, pulling it up over his
stomach.  Brian moved away from my mouth for just a split second so I could
yank it off over his head and throw it blindly in the dark.
	Our hands began tearing at each other's clothing, and soon Brian
had my sleep bottoms and tee off me.  Finally, I yanked Brian's boxers off
to find his cock hard and ready.  I jerked it roughly, almost violently, a
couple times to make sure he was ready, then laid back for him.  Brian
didn't waste any time in pulling my legs up onto his shoulders and
positioning his cock at my hole.
	As Brian pushed into me, I pulled his head downwards and clamped my
mouth over his.  He rammed his tongue into my mouth as he rammed his cock
deep inside me.  I yelled out as his cock filled me in one thrust, however,
I was mostly muffled by Brian's tongue in my mouth.  My fingernails dug
into Brian's back, causing him to make a hissing noise thru his teeth as he
thrusted in and out of my asshole.
	A few more thrusts, and Brian moved quickly, pulling me up and
getting me onto my hands and knees.  His cock didn't even leave my ass
completely as he got us into the new position with him behind me.  He
continued to thrust once I was in the right position for him. His thrusts
were so hard that my body was pushed back and forth violently as I moaned.
When he wrapped his hand around my swollen cock to jerk me off while he
fucked me, I screamed out in pleasure.

	"Oh yeah, take my....fucking....cock."  Brian grunted as he plowed
into me with quick and rough thrusts.

	I just continued to moan loudly as Brian's fist slid up and down my
cock furiously as he fucked my ass from behind.  It didn't take long before
I felt my balls draw up and my cock begin to spew load after load onto
Brian's hand and the bed below me.  As soon as my orgasm hit, my asshole
clenched around Brian's cock and he began to shoot deep within me.  Brian
continued to thrust and tell me he was cumming inside me.
	After we both caught our breath, we pulled apart from each other
and collapsed on the bed.  We didn't say anything to each other after the
sex was over with.  We didn't apologize.  Didn't curl up together and hold
each other.  However, we had solved the blanket situation.  Both of us were
too sweaty and hot to care if we had any blankets or not.



(Part Seven)



	"What happened to your foot?"  Rachel asked as I limped onto set
the next morning.
	"I twisted it."  It was kind of the truth.
	"Rotten luck."  She winced.  "You'll be alright?"
	"I'm fine."  I nodded.  "We're just shooting the boat scene,
anyway."
	"True that."

	The boat scene I was referring to was where Rachel Weiss and I were
going to be filmed in a pond in a row boat.  All I had to do was sit there
and look cute, row the boat, and make good with the acting.  I didn't need
my foot for that.  However, it was hurting like hell.  I had probably
broken a bone, I figured.

	"My two favorite people in the whole wide world."  Clinnon snuck up
behind us and wrapped an arm around each of our shoulders.
	"Hello, Clinnon."  I yawned.
	"Hello."  Rachel stated as well.
	"Are you two ready to charm the fuck out of me again today?"  The
man had a way with words.
	"Yeah."  I replied.
	"Certainly."  Rachel was never too pleased with Clinnon's colorful
statements.
	"Good."  Clinnon moved forward, pushing us with him.  "I want
spark.  I want flare. I want.....what happened to your foot, mate?"
	"Twisted it."  I repeated the half-truth.
	"Well fuck."  Clinnon sighed, making Rachel cringe.
	"I'll be fine for this scene."  I waved him off.
	"I certainly hope so.  Christ, this is the last fucking thing I
need."  He began to walk away from us.  "Maria!  Find me a fucking Xanax!"

	I half expected Rachel to kneel down and pray for Clinnon's soul.
However, I didn't think she was exactly religious.  She just thought
Clinnon was horrid.  Sometimes I agreed with her.  Just the other day he
had shouted at us in front of everyone on the lot while we were in the
middle of a love scene.  "I know neither of you wants to fuck the other,
but it's called acting, people!" he had stated loudly.  Horrid?  Just a
tad.
	Barb was supposed to meet me right after the shoot to take me to
lunch.  Garrett had warned me via my cell phone that she was going to beg
me to do some T.V. show appearance as well.  No wonder she wants to take me
out to lunch, I had thought to myself.  It was probably going to be
something stupid like "Malcolm Loves Everybody" or something.  Most
T.V. shows sucked major asshole lately.

	"Hello!"  Clinnon was shouting at the cinematographer.  "Why do you
have these men using hand helds?  What are we doing?  An INDEPENDENT film?"

	The way Clinnon said it, you could tell me had moved from
independent to studio director already.  He was having none of the "amateur
stuff" anymore.

	"We're filming over water, dumbass!  Get some brains!"  Clinnon
added before storming off in the direction of the sound technicians.
	"God help us."  Rachel hung her head and shook it as she watched
the display.
	"Can I get a cigarette?"  I asked Nicole, my assistant on set, as
she walked by on a mission.
	"Sure."  She produced a pack seemingly out of thin air and shook
one out for me.

	I let her light it for me, then let her go about her task at hand.
I smoked nervously as we watched each person on set get a "talking to" from
Clinnon.  Apparently everyone was acting like a bunch of "wankers" and we
needed to get our shit together.  Apparently, I was the biggest wanker for
having "hurt my foot when I knew I was going to be shooting a major motion
picture".

	"How could you twist your foot when we're in the middle of a very
important project?"  Clinnon stormed back over in my direction.  "Fucking
Christ, Matt."
	"Screw you Clinnon."  I replied to Clinnon's insults in front of
everyone.  "YOU asked ME to do this picture.  I don't need your shit.
Also, we're filming on a man made pond here.  The water is only three feet
deep."
	"So what?!?"  He snapped.
	"The cameramen are using hand held cameras because they're going to
be wading alongside the boat to film us.  That way they can get all shots
in one try.  Read a storyboard for Christ's sake.  Incase you didn't know,
that's what we professionals like to use so we look like what know what's
happening on set instead of looking like an ass."
	"Well, aren't we clever."  He smiled, obviously amused at pissing
me off.
	"Furthermore, Maria won't be able to get you a Xanax."  I added.
	"That woman better....."  He began.
	"She quit yesterday after you called her a 'lazy worthless wanker',
Clinnon.  Bob had to apologize profusely to her before he moved her to
Sandy Bullock's film."

	Everyone around us tried to hide their smiles.  However, I heard a
few supressed laughs.  They all hated Clinnon.  I was the only one that
fought back.  Ofcourse, I'd known Clinnon since way back in the day, at the
beginning of my career.  He didn't frighten me.  And I was the only one
that knew he was actually just a big ole teddy bear whose bark was worse
than his bite.

	"Well, someone hasn't gotten laid in awhile."  Clinnon snorted
before he turned towards the director's chair.  "Someone get me a Xanax,
damnit!"
	"I don't know how you've worked with him on so many movies."
Rachel leaned over to whisper in my ear.
	"He's harmless."  I replied back.  "Just an asshole when he's
stressed out."
	"He must be stressed all the time."  She winked.
	"Can you two get in the boat already?!?"  Clinnon hollered from his
chair right before he shoved a pill in his mouth.







	Barb was absolutely beaming as we sat down in our corner booth at
lunchtime.  She had called ahead and gotten us a prime booth to sit at away
from everyone else.  On the ride over to the restaraunt, she had told me
that Garrett was going to meet us there as soon as possible.  There must
have been alot of crap going on behind the scenes with my career.  I was
the only person either of them represented, but they were always busy with
one thing or another.

	"What happened to your foot?"  Barb asked after the hostess had
left the side of the booth.
	"I put it thru the side of the deck."  I answered honestly this
time.
	"Oh."  She stated succinctly.

	I didn't explain further.  When I didn't offer an explanation, she
gave a sigh and leaned across the table slightly.

	"How would you be interested in making an appearance on the ole
television?"  She smiled widely.
	"On what?  Celebrities Make Fools Of Themselves For Cash?"  I
snorted.
	"My, aren't we testy?"  She squinted at me.  "No, it's much better
than that."
	"Sorry."  I slouched against the back of my booth seat.  "What is
it?"
	"Queer As Folk."  She almost squealed with joy.
	"No thanks."  I waved her off right away.

	She flinched in shock.

	"I'm sorry?"  She couldn't believe her ears.  "We're turning down
Queer As Folk Season Three for what ridiculous reason?"
	"I'm tired of playing fags."
	"You are a fag."  She was confused.
	"Yes, but that's not exactly public knowledge."  I explained. "Why
doesn't anyone offer me the awesome roles anymore?  Why can't I get another
movie where I play like, a psycho or something?"
	"We both know you have the talent and range, but Matt, you're going
big time now."  Her eyes were wide as saucers.  "You do romantic comedies,
T.V. appearances as a guest star, action films.  You don't resort to low
budget art house movies."

	She was right.  I had gone big time (read, sold out).

	"Yeah, I know."  I reached up and ruffled my hair in frustration.
"My life sucks."

	Barb couldn't help but laugh as I bent over, practically slamming
my head down on the table.  I kept my forehead plastered against the
tabletop as Barb chuckled to herself at my display.  After a few seconds,
she grabbed a fist full of my hair and carefully made me sit up.

	"Your life doesn't suck."  She shook her head with a smile.
"You're a fucking superstar with tons of cash and offers flowing in daily.
Your life is awesome."
	"No it isn't."  I replied wearily and began banging my forehead on
the table top, but not hard enough to draw attention from other patrons.
	"Okay, stop that."  She grabbed my hair again after I had banged my
head four times. "What's wrong with you?"
	"Sucks, sucks, sucks."  I shook my head slowly back and forth.
"Brian is pissed at me.  I never get to see Booker.  Aaron is probably
going to turn into a meth addict.....and I saw a zit on my back this
morning!"

	I tried to slam my head into the table again, but Barb stuck her
hand out.  The result was my forehead slapping the palm of her hand, and
being shoved back up.

	"Aaron's a meth addict?  Oh my God."
	"Just let me bust my head open in peace, damnit."  I sighed.
	"Oh honey, let me get us a patio table so we can smoke."  She
motioned urgently at the hostess.

	I managed to keep from slitting my wrists with a butter knife while
we waited for the hostess to move us outside to an umbrella covered wrought
iron table.  The chairs were less comfortable, but getting to smoke while I
thought of suicide was much better.

	"Okay, so tell Mama Barbara what's wrong, baby."  Barb sat down
next to me at the table and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me
up against her.

	I laid my head on her shoulder, practically falling into her as she
held me.  I wasn't so depressed I wanted to cry or anything, but I did
appreciate the affection.  Before I said anything, I took a couple power
hits off of my cigarette, enjoying the nicotine calming my nerves slowly.

	"Well, Brian is pissed at me because he doesn't trust me.  He
thinks I hide shit from him and I'm emotionally bereft or something.  I
don't get to spend quality time with Booker.  He caught Brian and I
fighting last night.  And Aaron came home tweaked out the other night.
Punching Clinnon in the face right now is high on the list of things to do,
and why, dear God, do I have to get a zit on my back?! Why, Barb, why?!?"
	"Honey, don't draw attention to yourself."  She talked out of the
corner of her mouth as she looked around.
	"Like I have to do anything to make people pay attention."  I
stated loudly, hoping someone would take a picture of my nervous breakdown
in progress.
	"Okay, okay.  Let's just calm down."  She whispered in my ear.
	"This whole goddamned Enquirer thing makes me want to jump off a
bridge."  I continued, but in a lower voice.  "Why do they have to fuck
with me?  What did I ever do to them to make them go digging up my past."
	"Matt..."
	"I mean, can't they just leave it alone?  I'm sure they're past
isn't squeaky clean, either.  I'm sure they all have some skeletons in the
closet, too.  Stuff they don't want other people to know."
	"Well, I mean.."
	"I don't want Brian to know any of that stuff, Barbara!"  I
squealed, sitting up straight to look at her.  "Oh my God, I'll fucking be
sick if he finds out.  He'll hate me for it.  He's so good and squeaky
clean, and he'll just fucking die if he knows."

	Hysteria?  Well, sure.

	"Calm down."  She spoke thru clenched teeth.
	"Okay."  I stopped myself from squealing anymore when I noticed I
was getting glances from a couple of elderly women a few tables over.
	"I don't know what exactly happened that prompted Enquirer to run
the article."  Barb began, stubbing her cigarette out and lighting another.
I followed suit.  "However, I'm sure whatever it was wasn't your fault.
I'm not telling you to tell Brian or not to tell him.  However, he is your
husband now.  It is his business to know."
	"Why?!?" Squealing again.
	"Matt, baby, he just cares about you.  He wants to know what makes
you happy.  He wants to know what makes you sad.  Brian accepts you as you
are, faults and all.  He's not going to get rid of you for something in
your past you had no control over."
	"He's not supposed to know I can make mistakes that big."  I shook
my head.
	She gave a sad smile.  "Ah, Matt.  He knows you make mistakes.
Whether you admit it or not.  And he loves you anyway."
	"Maybe I'm just not ready to tell him about some things, yet?"  I
blew out a large cloud of smoke.
	"Well, explain that to him.  Don't just leave him in the dark to
wonder about what horrible things happened to you and how it effected you."
	"It hasn't effected me.  That's the problem."  I winced and laid my
head on the table again, but kept from banging it down.
	"How's that a problem?"  She sounded as confused as I expected her
to be.
	"Okay, hypothetically speaking."  I stated as I sat up and took
another drag on the cigarette.  "Let's say someone lets themself get into a
bad situation.  A few bad things happen.  However, they get themself out of
it before something REALLY bad happens to them."
	"Right."  She squinted.
	"But they move on from the situation and don't think twice about
it.  They don't cry over it, it doesn't bother them, they just move on.
They don't even think about it again until some fucking reporter digs up
the details.  They never planned to tell anyone about it as long as they
lived because it didn't even matter to them."
	"Right."
	"Won't that make that person seem even more emotionally bereft?"  I
groaned in frustration.
	"Well, probably."  She was honest.  "But not in the way you're
thinking.  It just means that they don't let negative things get in their
way."
	"And that's not a bad trait for a person?"
	"Hell no, Matt."  She reached out to ruffle my hair.  "What exactly
did happen?"
	I laughed.  "You really think I'll tell you if I won't tell Brian?"
	"It was worth a try."  She laughed with me.  "Just think about
telling him, alright?"
	"Yeah.  Okay."  I stubbed out the cigarette.
	"So......do we say yes or no to Queer As Folk?"  She wriggled her
eyebrows at me.

	I laughed loudly and gave her a thumb's up, feeling a bit better
having had a whine session.



(Part Eight)



	"How ya' doing, buddy?"  I lowered myself onto the floor in the den
beside Booker.
	"Fine, daddy."  He replied, glancing at me for a second before
turning his attention back to Sponge Bob.
	"How's Sponge Bob?"
	"It's a rerun."  He rolled his eyes.  "I've seen this one a million
times."

	I returned his smile as he looked over at me again, then back at
the T.V.  What could I say, the boy never got tired of Sponge Bob. I'd
probably have to end up buying DVD's or something so he could get his fix
all day long, any day of the week.  He was addicted to the cartoon, I was
addicted to Starbuck's.  Everyone in this house was getting habits.

	"Mrs. Gray told me I read the best in the whole class."  Booker
beamed over at me as the commercial came on.
	"Oh yeah?"  I smiled wide as I pulled my legs into an indian style
position.
	"Uh huh.  Ofcourse, she said that I'm the only kid that reads
ou'side of school."  He explained.

	I just smiled at his eloquence.

	"What, Daddy?"
	"You're just something else, buddy."  I reached over and pinched
his nose.
	"I know."  He made me laugh.  "And tomorrow we gotta do a math
test."
	"Eep."  I teased.  "You need help?"
	"Daddy said he'd help me."  Booker replied, glancing at the T.V. to
make sure Sponge Bob wasn't back on.
	"Oh no."  I teased him with a big horrified look, making Booker
giggle.

	Booker moved over and gave me a hug, wrapping his arms around my
neck.  I squeezed him back and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

	"I love you."  I pulled back to look at him.
	"Love you, too, Daddy."  He gave me one of those smiles only a kid
knows how to give.

	Booker turned around and plopped down in my lap, laying back
against me.  Apparently, the commercials were running too long, because he
sighed impatiently as we sat together.

	"You want to do something?"  I leaned down to his ear and asked.
	"What?"  He perked up.
	"I don't care."  I shrugged and wrapped my arms around him.
"Anything you want to do is fine with me."
	"Ummmm," He thought for a second,"wanna watch Sponge Bob with me?

	It was the last thing in the world I would have thought of to do at
that moment in time.  However, I was excited about doing it since Booker
had asked.

	"Heck yeah I wanna watch Sponge Bob with you."  I chuckled and
squeezed him against me.
	"Alright."  Booker squealed with delight.  "Sponge Bob's about to
go try to catch jellyfish so he can get into the club."

	Definitely a rerun.






	"Fuck, fuck, fuck."  I heard Aaron chanting in his room as I walked
by.
	"And you're using that language why?"  I asked as I leaned into the
room for a second.
	"Um, I've just lost something."  He replied as he ripped open a
dresser drawer.
	"Your mind, apparently."  I snorted playfully.
	"My credit card!"  He snapped at me before digging thru the drawer.
	"Which one?!?"  My eyes bulged.
	"Visa!"  Aaron squealed as he tossed clothes left and right.  "Help
me!"
	"I'll take the closet."  I dashed into he room and flung open the
closet.

	Okay.  It was a little too gay, but I was more worried about losing
the dear card than I was about someone using it to run up a bill.  What's a
boy to do without his Visa?  I think I would cry if it were me.

	"Search all my pockets!"  He instructed.
	"Right."  I ducked as a pair of underwear flew by my head.

	For several minutes I pulled clothes out of the closet, checking
hip pockets, back pockets, zipper pockets, cargo pockets, and so forth and
so on.  My mind was blurry.  There was no way anyone in this house was
going to lose a credit card on my watch.  How could you power shop if you
didn't know where it was?

	"When did you lose it?"  I asked as I yanked a pair of cargo pants
out of the closet.

	The pair of pants had to have atleast ten pockets.  Aw, fuck, I
thought to myself.

	"Well, I guess since the other night."  He was panicking like
myself.
	"What other night?"
	"THE NIGHT!"  He shrieked and grabbed handfuls of his hair to tug
before tearing open another drawer.
	"It's stolen."  I threw my hands up in the air, then went back to
the cargo pants to check.
	"Shut up!"  He squealed dramatically.
	"Some tweaker probably lifted it from you, and is now trying to
charge meth!"

	Waaaaaaay too gay.

	"It was in my pocket on the way home, damnit!"  He stopped, getting
an epiphany.
	"How do you know that?"  I spun around to look at him.
	"Because the limo guy stopped by a convenient store for me, so I
could...."

	He stopped.

	"So you could what?!?"  I urged him on.
	"Ummmm, buy a coke."  He was lying, obviously.
	"Right."  I rolled my eyes.  "I don't care what you bought right at
this moment.  Where's the fucking card?  Your mother is going to strangle
you."

	I pointed an accusatory finger at him.

	"Not if we find it."  He hissed back.  "Where're the pants I was
wearing that night?"
	"Those poor jeans."  I shook my head with sorrow.  "You ruined
them."
	"Well, where are they?"

	I suddenly remembered what had happened to them.

	"Trash!"  I squealed dramatically and ran for the door.

	Aaron almost crashed into me, trying to beat me out the door. We
managed to get out of his room and run thru the house without hurting
ourselves or each other.  Booker just watched us with wide eyes as we tore
out the back door to the deck.  He probably thought we had finally snapped
and were going to run around like idiots to prove it all.
	Outside it was getting on twilight.  The sky was a darkish blue
that shimmered above us.  A few stars were twinkling down brightly from the
sky, and I could see a slight line of pink in the horizon from the set sun.
We dashed over to the side of the house where the trash cans were kept,
fully intending to dig thru every damn bag if we had to.  However, the cans
were not there.

	"Where the fuck are the cans?!?"  Aaron squealed.
	"I'm going to ignore your language considering your emotional
distress, but I don't know!"  I shrieked back.

	The whole situation would probably have been funny to anyone
watching.  And I was sure we were loud enough to attract the neighbors'
attention.

	"Isn't tomorrow trash day?"  Aaron stopped, getting yet another
epiphany.
	"Driveway!"  I announced and tore back towards the door to the
house.

	Booker just glanced up at us again as we ran past the den, making
noise like a herd of buffalo.  We ran to the front door and ripped it open.
As soon as the door was open, I saw Brian wheeling one of the trash cans
down the drive.

	"Stop!"  I shrieked and dashed out the door to chase him down, my
foot aching the whole way.
	"Don't move!"  Aaron shouted as well before following me.

	Brian stopped, and slowly turned to see what was going on behind
himself.  The confused and worried look that came to his face from watching
us storm towards him almost made me laugh.  However, Aaron and I were on a
mission, so there was no time to laugh at anything.  Brian jumped to the
side just in time to avoid being run over.  Aaron and I ran to the trash,
flipped the lid back and began pulling bags out.

	"Search them all!"  Aaron yelled as he tore open the first bag he
grabbed.
	"What if it fell out of the pocket?"  I asked as I ripped open my
bag.
	"Goddamnit, just find it!"  He squealed loudly.

	I noticed that porch lights around us were periodically being
turned on at the houses around us, and people were stepping out to see what
the noise was about.  Brian just watched in horror as we strung trash all
over the driveway.

	"Damnit!"  He hollered.  "You two stop it before we end up on the
ten o'clock news!"
	"I lost my Visa!"  Aaron pleaded with him to leave it be.
	"It's in his pants he ruined the other night!"  I added.
	"That's no reason to make channel two send out the helicopters!"
He scolded us as I lobbed a half eaten, shriveled grapefruit over my
shoulder and out of my way.
	"Here they are!"  Aaron held up the unbelievably stained pants
excitedly.
	"Check the pockets!"  I urged him on, dropping a banana peel and a
coffee filter.

	It took him a couple seconds, but he finally pulled a rectangular
piece of plastic out of the hip pocket of the ruined pants triumphantly.

	"Woohoo!"  I hollered with glee.
	"Thank God!"  Aaron sighed and kissed the card.  He brought it away
from his mouth with a look of disgust.  "Ew."
	"Gross."  I turned my nose up.
	"Are you two done having fun yet?"  Brian snarled down at me.
	I glanced at the house across the way, noticing a man and woman
staring from the porch at us.  "Yes, Brian.  I'm done having fun letting
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins watch me dig thru my garbage."

	Aaron gave a sharp laugh as I waved across the street, then went
about shoving garbage back into the black plastic bag I had torn open.
Brian just glared down at me.  I made a face like "I didn't do anything
wrong, jeez", then went about picking up the garbage I had strewn
everywhere.

	"Good Lord."  Brian rolled his eyes in defeat, then squatted down
to help put garbage back into the bags.
	"Thank God I found it."  Aaron breathed out.  "I don't know what I
would have done."
	"This is why kids should not have credit cards."  Brian scolded
him.

	I gasped.  Not have a credit card?  Who'd be so cruel as to deprive
a human being of such a luxury?  Aaron fell over in laughter at my
expression.

	"Oh, screw it."  Brian stood, dropping the trash he was holding.
"Everything's a joke to you, damnit."

	Aaron stopped laughing as Brian stormed back up to the house and
slammed the door behind himself.

	"Um, I think he may be more pissed now."  Aaron stated.
	"Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?"  I rolled my eyes.
"Let me have those."

	Aaron tried to stop me from jerking the jeans away from him.

	"No, don't."  He gasped as I pushed him away.

	I began digging thru the rest of the pockets in the pants.  Nothing
was in the hip or rear pockets, but the front right legged cargo pocket had
a bulge in it.  Before Aaron could object any further to my search and
seizure mission, I ripped the pocket open and plunged my hand in.  What I
felt was very familiar to me.

	"Goddamnit, Aaron."  I pulled the box of cigarettes out of the
pants and flung them at him.
	"Like you have room to talk."  He stated under his breath.
	"Just clean this garbage up and take it to the curb."  I threw the
jeans at him and stood.
	"You're not going to take them away?"  He looked up at me.
	"Why?"  I shrugged.  "So you can just buy more?  Hopefully you'll
wisen up and quit."

	Aaron was still looking confused as I headed back towards the
house.  Brian was noisily putting away clean dishes when I entered the
kitchen.  He glanced in my direction when I came thru the doorway, but just
shot me an "I hate you" look before going back to what he had been doing.
Apparently, the coffee cups had pissed him off, too, because he was
practically chunking them into the cupboard as he put them away.

	"Is Booker in bed?"  I asked softly.
	"I sent him to bed a few minutes ago."  Brian replied without
stopping his movements.
	"Do you need help?"
	"Do I look like I need help?"  He growled.
	"Well, not really.  Just thought I'd ask."  I shrugged as I sat
down at the kitchen table.

	Brian put another cup into the cabinet noisily before turning
slowly to look at me.

	"Do I mean nothing to you?"  Brian squinted at me.
	"Don't even start that noise.  You know damn well you do."  I
replied evenly.
	"Then why don't you act like it?"
	"I tell you how much I love you all the time.  Why don't you
believe it?"  I countered.
	"You can tell someone you love them more than anything, but proving
it is different."
	"Ah, the whole 'actions speak louder than words' argument."  I
rolled my eyes.
	"Why do you do that?"  Brian stomped his foot.  "When you're
cornered you just become defensive and hateful."
	"Oh, I don't know."  I stated sarcastically.  "Because you're
trying to corner me??"
	"I just want you to answer my questions, why the hell is that
cornering you??"  He stated loudly before grabbing a coffee cup and
slamming it down on the cupboard shelf.

	The resulting crackle of porcelain was quite loud.  Apparently, the
cup wasn't strong enough to withstand Brian chunking it around like a
football.  Immediately, Brian pulled his hand out of the cupboard.

	"Shit!"  He drew air in thru his teeth.
	"Are you okay?"  I got up and dashed over to look at his hand.
	"I cut my finger."  He stated simply, showing his finger to me.
	"Come on, put it under some water."  I ushered him over to the
sink, holding my hand under his to catch any blood that may drip.

	I twisted the handle, turning the cold water on, and moved Brian's
finger under the flow.  He hissed as the water washed away the initial spew
of blood.

	"Damnit, that hurts."  He hissed as I held his hand under the
water.
	"It's nothing."  I laughed, trying to ease his pain.  "See, you
just broke the skin.  Nothing major."
	"Well, it feels like I cut the damn thing off."
	"Oh, you big baby."  I teased.  "It's nothing. Look."

	I pulled his hand out from under the water to let him see the thin
slice on his finger.  It barely oozed any blood.

	"It still hurts."  He gave half a smile.
	"Let's put some medicine on it, baby."  I grabbed a paper towel and
wrapped it around his finger.
	"No, I can do it."  He stopped me from leading him towards the
bathroom.
	"I can help."  I offered.
	"That's....it's okay."  He shook his head.  "I'll do it."
	"Brian."  I stated sadly as he went to leave the room.
	"Ya' know," Brian turned in the doorway to look at me,"it's okay
for you to care for me, and take care of me when I'm in pain.  But I can't
do it for you.  It's not right."
	"I'm not in pain."  I threw my hands up in the air.
	"Maybe I am."  He replied, making me stop.

	I wasn't confused.  I knew what he meant.  By not telling him about
my past, or things he wanted to know about me, I was causing him pain.  If
I wanted to always make him feel better when he felt bad, why would I not
tell him things he wanted to know?

	"Brian, I don't mean to hurt you."  I sighed, lowering my hands.

	Brian gave me a pained smile, then was gone.  I didn't know what
else to do, so I finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher away.  When
I was done, it was ten o'clock, and I wasn't even beginning to get tired
yet.  I decided on a cup of hot Peppermint tea with honey and lemon.  As I
was heating some water in the microwave, I caught Aaron slinking past the
kitchen door.  He was obviously trying to get by without me talking to him.

	"You."  I pointed at him without turning to look at him.  "Sit."
	"Yeah, alright."  He sighed, realizing he wasn't as sly as he
thought.

	I made him sit at the kitchen table in silence as I finished
heating the water, steeped my tea, and added my lemon and honey.  Aaron
looked downright skittish when I finally sat down across from him with my
Grumpy The Dwarf mug full of my favorite tea.  He probably knew he was in
for a talk.  A talk that wasn't going to be as nice as our last one.

	"Okay."  I stated before taking my first sip of tea.  "You smoke.
I'm gonna overlook that because it's probably just a fifteen year old
trying to be cool thing."
	"Yeah, okay."
	"But why'd you hide it from me?"  I looked him in the eye. "ME?!?
Of all people, me!"
	"I don't know."
	"Do you really have to be a typical asshole teenager?"  I said it
much nicer than it sounds.  "There's no reason to lie to Brian or me.  We
may not like some shit you do, but we're not going to kill you for it,
either."

	He sat there, looking pathetic.

	"And okay, you did drugs.  We've all done stupid things like that
in our teens.  But Aaron, I seriously hope you're never going to do it
again.  Especially meth!  Do you have any idea what that shit will do to
you?"
	"Yeah."  He squeaked.
	"It's like crack times ten, Aaron."  I took a gulp of tea.  "Jesus.
I thought you were much smarter than that."
	"It was stupid, Matt."  He replied.  "But it was, just, hell I
don't know, I just wanted to try it."
	"Why'd you do it?"  I asked desperately.  "Did you think it was a
cool thing to do??"
	"No."  He stated loudly, but not in a hateful way.
	"Then why?"
	"I was at a party, and everyone was doing it, and I thought 'why
not', so I did."  He tried to explain.
	"Please tell me you didn't shoot...."
	"No, I didn't shoot up."  He cut me off.  "They were smoking it."

	I let out a long, heavy, relieved breath.  Getting that news made
me feel ten times better.

	"Thank God."  I sighed.  "Just don't do it again."

	Aaron grabbed my wrist from across the table as I tried to stand
up.

	"I did it because I didn't want to feel anything."  He stated
simply.

	I stayed there, in my half standing position with Aaron holding my
wrist in a death grip.  The look in his eyes was very familiar to me.
Unfortunately, I knew what he meant.  Slowly, I lowered myself back to my
seat, setting my mug back on the table.  Aaron kept his eyes on mine as I
sat across from him, almost melting from the look in his eyes.

	"Do you have any idea how that feels?"  He asked, almost desperate
for someone to understand him.

	I couldn't really get myself to form a sentence.  Truly, I wanted
to, but I didn't know if I wanted to admit to understanding.

	"I guess not."  Aaron sighed, letting go of my wrist.
	"Yeah," I managed to croak,"I know."

	Aaron's eyes shot back to mine.

	"I know what you mean, Aaron.  But I don't know why you feel that
way."  I sighed, then added with hope.  "Unless you tell me."

	He sat there, looking at me for a minute, as if he were
apprehensive about telling me anything.  However, soon his eyes began to
droop, and I knew I was in for a long talk.

	"I don't think my mother loves me."  Aaron stated simply.
	"Ofcourse she loves you."  I countered.
	"Well, I mean, I know she loves me, but not in the way I want her
to.  Does that make sense?"
	"Perfect."
	"All she cares about is my future.  My future this, my future that.
Don't miss an oppurtunity to further your career.  You're a singer, not a
kid.  It's like, she only cares about my career, not about letting me be a
teenager.  She doesn't listen to me talk about just stuff.  Unless it has
to do with recording or performing, or what the fuck ever, she thinks it's
not important enough to listen to.  It pisses me off."  Aaron's eyes got
watery.

	I just listened and let him jabber.

	"It's like she'll ONLY love me if I'm a singer.  She could care
less about me otherwise.  So, I know she loves me, but only if I do what
she thinks I should do.  And that doesn't include me being a regular kid.
I hate her!"  Aaron let a single tear escape, then the waterworks began.

	My heart broke to watch him cry like he was.  Tears streamed down
his face as he continued pouring his heart out to me.

	"Why can't she just ask me how my school work is, or what video
games I like, or just anything besides when I'm going to be working again??
Why can't she just love me?!?"  Aaron laid his arms on the table, then laid
his head down on top of them, his whole body shaking from his sobs.

	I didn't know if saying anything would help.  So, instead of
talking, I got up.  Aaron didn't move away as I walked over and sat down
beside him.  He practically threw himself on me as I pulled him into a hug.
He buried his face in my chest and cried as I held him against me and
patted his hair, trying to make soothing noises over his sobs.





	"Do you think she has the slightest clue why I came to stay with
you guys?"  Aaron stated from his side of his bed.

	We were laid out on his bed, eating Doritos and cool ranch dip.
After Aaron cried all he could in the kitchen, he asked me if I'd sit up
with him for awhile.  I had to get up early the next morning, but I figured
Aaron was a little more important than whether or not I had the best
night's rest possible.  And who cared if I went off my diet for one night?

	"I'm sure she has some ideas."  I shrugged, popping a chip in my
mouth.  "Have you told her why?"
	"No.  I don't think she'd care."
	"Well, I can't speak for Lynn.  But, maybe you should talk to her
about all this."  I tried to reason with Aaron.  "I mean, you're free to
stay here as long as you want, Aaron.  But, you're only gonna feel better
if you discuss this with her.  I think she'll understand.  She loves you
enough to try anyway."
	"Why do you care about me so much?"  Aaron asked.
	"I take in all cute little twinkies I meet."  I reached out to
tweak his nose.
	Aaron laughed loudly.  "No, seriously."
	"I don't really know.  I just do.  You're practically a little
brother to me.  You kinda remind me of myself, too."  I shivered teasingly.
	"How's that?"
	"A little teenage asshole hardass."  I winked.
	"Gee, thanks."
	"You're a good kid, Aaron."  I nodded.  "But, that means you're
gonna do stupid shit like all kids do."
	"I'll try not to."  He stated quickly.
	"I know."  I ruffled his hair.  "That's all I ask.  And don't lie
to me."
	"I won't."  He nodded.
	"And please don't smoke."  I pleaded with him.
	"I'll quit if you do."  He gave me a sly look.
	"Don't press your luck."  I gave him a warning playfully.
	"Actually, I don't really smoke.  I just did that night."  I could
tell he was being honest.  "It seemed like such a good idea to buy
cigarettes then."
	"Good."  I replied and slid off the bed. "Now, it's almost
midnight, so I need to get to bed."
	"Alright."  He sighed.  "Thanks for listening and all."
	"Not a prob, Bob.  Be a good boy and get the lights out soon,
alright?  You are still grounded afterall."
	"Yeah, alright."  He rolled his eyes with a smile.  "Hey, would it
be too..."

	I waited while he searched for the right word.

	"..weird if I told you..."

	More pausing.  I just chuckled and leaned down to give him a quick
kiss on the forehead.

	"I love you, too, kiddo."  I whispered in his ear.  "And I won't
tell anyone, so don't worry."

	Aaron gave me an embarassed grin and a quick hug.

	"'Nite, Matt."  He stated as I let go of him and headed for the
door.
	"Goodnight."  I replied, then stopped in his doorway.  "Light's out
soon, promise?"
	"Promise."  He nodded.

	God, my foot hurt.



(Part Nine)



	"Matt, are you okay? What happened?  Garrett says you're hurt!!??"
Brian started in with the questions as soon as he barged in my trailer door
on set.

	The doctor that was examining my foot looked up at me like "Who the
fuck is this guy and is he crazy?".  Brian ran right over to our side to
look at what the doctor was doing.

	"I'm fine."  I gave a nervous laugh.  "I don't know why Garrett
would have called you."
	"He didn't call.  He came to the house and told me to rush over
here.  Aaron's outside talking to Rachel."  Brian knelt down beside me to
look at my foot with the doctor.
	"Oh, good Lord."  I began laughing.

	Even the doctor laughed at that.

	"Why are you laughing?  What happened to you, damnit?"  Brian began
with the questions again.
	"Well, the good doctor here hasn't told me what's wrong yet, Brian.
However, I'm okay.  Just a hurt foot is all."  I continued laughing at the
dramatics Garrett had pulled.

	Rachel and I had been shooting a scene at nine in the morning.  It
was a scene that was to be looped in before the big love scene.  It
required that we "run up the stairs giddily towards the bedroom".  We got
halfway up the stairs, and I felt and heard a pop in my foot.  I had to hop
on one foot down the stairs, and then hop all the way out to my trailer.
Immediately a doctor was called to examine me.
	Clinnon was having a nervous breakdown as the doctor examined me.
He was probably downing a couple Xanax as Brian hollered questions at me.
Garrett and Barb had been on set when the whole thing happened.
Apparently, they had taken it upon themselves to contact my "next of kin"
on the insurance forms.  All for a hurt foot.

	"How'd you hurt it?"  Brian practically shoved the doctor aside to
grab my foot and look at it.
	"Excuse me."  The doctor nudged Brian out of the way, making me
laugh.
	"I was going up some stairs, and I heard and felt a pop, and then I
couldn't stand on it."  I replayed the whole thing for him.
	"Are you going to be okay???"  Brian squealed.
	"What's the prognosis, doc?"  I asked.
	"Well, without an x-ray, it's hard to tell if something is broken.
You haven't torn any ligaments or muscles because you can move all your
toes, roll your ankle, etcetera."  He kept my foot in his hand as he spoke.
"I really think you broke a bone."
	I winced as he pressed on the top of my foot.  "Ow!"
	"Probably right about here."  He chuckled.
	"Ya' think?"  I teased.
	"It'll be a walking boot for you for a couple weeks."  He gently
lowered my foot to the carpeted floor of my trailer.
	I cackled loudly.  "Oh, I can't WAIT to tell Clinnon."

	The thought of giving Clinnon a twitch was too good to not enjoy.
I was going to enjoy every last second of the talk.

	"Well, before you do that, just wait here.  I'll be back with a
portable x-ray, and the works in a bit."  He shook a finger at me.

	Obviously he meant business.  Ofcourse, he reminded me of a
grandfather, so I wasn't going to back-talk him.

	"Yes sir."  I smiled.

	Brian and I waited for the good doctor to leave before we spoke.
However, as soon as he was gone, I piped up.

	"I'm sorry Garrett worried you, baby."  I stated as I leaned
forward on the couch to pull off my jacket I had been wearing on set. "I
guess he was concerned."
	"I'm glad he came by."  Brian hopped up on the couch and tried to
help me pull the jacket off.
	"I can do it."  I laughed.
	"Just let me help."  He tried to hush me up and slowly slid the
jacket off my shoulders towards my arms.
	"Well, it's a broken foot, not a broken arm."  I stated as I tried
to stop him.
	"Stop fighting me, damnit."  He scolded me as I tried to pull away.
	"Stop trying to help me. I'm fine!"  I pulled away harder.
	"Why do you have to do everything for yourself?!"  Brian jerked me
back towards him.
	"Because I'm capable.  Now stop it!"  I pulled away one final time,
getting Brian to leave me alone.

	Brian sat next to me in silence as I stripped the jacket off
angrily and chunked it to the floor.

	"Alright."  Brian sighed and stood.
	"What?"

	Brian didn't answer me, he just walked out of the trailer, slowly
shutting the door behind himself.

	"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"  I screeched as I tugged at my hair and pulled
my cigarettes out of my pocket.
	I was just lighting a cigarette when Aaron poked his head in the
door.  "Hey!  Brian says you broke your foot!"
	"Hey!  Brian's right!"  I retorted.
	"I was hoping to see some blood or something."  He climbed the
stairs into the trailer and closed the door.
	"It's not going to be your day, then."  I laughed.

	Aaron glanced behind himself, as if to make sure no one was
watching him, then came over to sit next to me on the couch.  I took
another drag on my cigarette as he leaned forward a bit to check out my
foot.

	"It's kinda swollen."  He shrugged.  "Brian looked pissed."
	"Yes, it is.  And yes, he did."
	"It's not your fault you broke it."  Aaron rolled his eyes.
	"Kinda it is.  But that's not what he's pissed about, kiddo."
	"How's it your fault?"  Aaron looked confused.
	"I hurt it the other day and didn't say anything.  I probably gave
it a hairline fracture the other day or something, and not getting it
checked out probably led to me completely fucking it up today."  I
explained as I snubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray and lit another.
	"Oh, well he's not pissed about that, is he?"  Aaron thought it was
stupid to get upset over something so banal.
	"No, he's not."
	"Then what?!?  Do we have to play Charades or something?"  He
laughed loudly.
	"He's just mad because I'm too guarded, I guess."  I sighed as I
exhaled smoke.
	"Huh?"
	"He's mad because I don't tell him every little thing and I won't
let him baby me."  I put it in simple teenager terms.
	"Oh, well why don't you talk to him about it?"  He shrugged.
	"It's not that simple."  I gave him half a smile.
	"Just explain why you are the way you are."  He continued.
	"He wouldn't understand."

	Aaron squinted at me.

	"What?!?"  I laughed.
	"If you think it'll work for me to talk to my mother, why won't it
work for you to talk to Brian?"

	Holy shit, the kid made some sense.  I almost choked.

	"If I could stand up, I'd jump up and down for you."  I teased.
	"Why do you say that?"
	"'Cause you sure can act grown up sometimes."  I ruffled his hair
and stubbed out my cigarette.  "Help me up, damnit."

	Aaron stood and grabbed my hands, helping me stand up without
putting any weight on my left foot.  I didn't know how I was going to chase
after Brian if I could only use one leg, but I was gonna figure it out.

	"Put your arm over.."  Aaron began, grabbing my arm and pulling it
over his shoulders.
	"I don't need..."
	"Shut the fuck up."  Aaron rolled his eyes.

	He was right.  I couldn't hop after Brian on one leg, that'd really
make him realize what a stubborn ass I was.

	"Alright."  I held onto him tightly, balancing on my one good foot.
	"Now, let's go see if we can find him."  Aaron helped me towards
the door.

	Together, we managed to get me down the stairs without hurting my
left foot any further.  Rachel, Clinnon and the doctor were all talking in
a huddle as we made our way down the stairs.  Clinnon looked horrified that
I couldn't walk without help.  Rachel was trying to keep from smiling at
Clinnon's expression.

	"No!  No, no, no."  The doctor jumped in front of us.  "You're not
going anywhere 'til I x-ray that foot."
	"Get lost.  We've gotta catch someone."  Aaron said it for me.
	"We'll be back, doc."  I promised as I hopped away with Aaron's
help.  "Then you can do whatever you have to."
	"He, uh, went that way."  Rachel stated, pointing in the opposite
direction we were headed.
	"Thanks, gorgeous."  I winked as Aaron spun us around and headed
the other way.
	"He said he was going to get a coke."  She added as we hobbled off
together.
	"Thank you!"  Aaron hollered back.

	I knew that having to lug me around was not comfortable at all for
Aaron, but he helped me hop all the way across the lot.  We still didn't
see Brian when we turned the corner of stage fifty-one, where we were
filming.  However, we did notice that George, the security guard, had left
his golf cart unattended.

	"Come on, baby boy, over there."  I winked.
	"Whose cart is that?"
	"Just George's.  He might get mad, but he can arrest me later."

	It took some more doing, but we hopped the ten yards over to the
cart.  I don't know why I thought I was going to drive, because it was
nearly impossible for me to hop up in the cart without banging my foot up.

	"Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea."  I chanted in pain at my first
attempt.
	"Come on."  Aaron moved me around to the back of the cart.  "Sit
here."
	"And let YOU drive?"  I laughed.
	"What choice do you have?"  He wriggled his eyebrows.

	He was being too logical lately for my own tastes.  However, he was
right.  I hopped up on the bench on the back of the cart, holding my left
foot out so as to not bang it up.

	"Just be careful."  I demanded as Aaron hopped into the front of
the cart with a giggle.
	"Ofcourse."  He said with a saccharine tone before peeling out.
	"Jesus!"  I screeched as I was almost bounced off the bench.
	"I need me one of these."  Aaron laughed as we rounded another
stage.  "Where's this place he's going to get a coke?"
	"The courtesy table, probably."
	"Won't that be back where you were shooting?"  Aaron asked.
	"No, we only shoot 'til noon so we don't have one.  Try Sandy's
set."  I replied.
	"And where exactly is that?"  Aaron turned to roll his eyes at me.
	"Watch out!"  I screeched as Aaron almost ran over a woman in a
business suit.

	He swerved just in time to miss the lady.  However, he scared her
enough that she dropped everything she had been carrying.

	"It's over there!"  I pointed.  "And slow down!"
	"Sorry!"  Aaron shouted behind us to the lady.  "It's a golf cart,
Matt.  It's not like we're blazing thru here."
	"Yeah, well you could still hurt someone if you hit them!"  I
wanted off the cart so bad I was preparing myself to jump if need be.

	Aaron finally stopped in front of the stage where Sandra Bullock's
film was being shot.  Before he could get out to help me, I jumped off the
cart onto my own good leg.  I didn't want to give him another chance to
take off without me.

	"Come on."  Aaron came around to let me lean on him.
	"I'm glad you don't walk like you drive.  You'd be screwed."  I
sighed as he began helping me hop towards the stage entrance.

	We didn't have to hop very far.  After a couple yards, Brian came
out of the side door, his eyes down, carrying a coke.  He didn't see us at
first because he was looking down as he was walking away from the stage.

	"Brian!"  I screeched.  "Goddamnit, help me!"

	Brian's head popped up, looking utterly shocked.  I don't know if
he was shocked to hear me say "help me", or shocked that I had appeared out
of nowhere.  He probably thought I had chased him down on foot, so that's
why he was shocked.  The possibilities were endless.  I figured that by
telling him I wanted help, he'd realize that I do things on my own only
because I can, not just to piss him off.  Something like that anyway.

	"What are you two doing here?"  He asked quickly.
	"Well, I had to chase you down before you ran off."  I stated
simply as Aaron held me up.
	"I just came to get a coke and to....um, cool off."  He gave me a
grin that said 'you're such a retard'.
	"How was I supposed to know that?"  I chuckled, somewhat
embarassed.
	"Well, I'm not even gonna ask if you hopped all the way here on one
foot."  Brian shook his head, still smiling, as he came over to let me lace
an arm around his neck.
	"Good," I replied as I let go of Aaron and transferred my weight to
Brian,"then I won't have to tell you Aaron drove me over here in a stolen
golf cart."
	"Sweet Jesus."  Brian laughed.  "So I'm gonna have to bail you out
of jail later, huh?"
	"Maybe.  That is if George is in a bad mood."  I winked at him.
"Aaron go wait in the cart."

	Aaron walked off, muttering something about how sitting in a cart
without doors or windows wouldn't keep him from hearing anything.  Brian
just kept an arm around my waist, helping me from falling down as we waited
for Aaron to get lost.  As soon as Aaron was sitting in the driver's seat
of the cart again, I turned to look at Brian, and put my hands on his
shoulders for balance.

	"Only you would put me in this position, Brian."  I teased him.
	"That's why ya' love me."  He grinned.
	"Yeah, well I guess so."  I rolled my eyes.  "You must really love
someone if you're willing to chase them down on your one good leg, rather
than let them be pissed at you."
	"Or in a stolen golf cart."  He added.
	"That, too."  I nodded.  "Brian, I don't mean to piss you off."
	"I know you don't."  He stated.
	"It's just, I don't like people treating me like I can't take care
of myself."
	"I know."
	"And I know you know I can take care of myself.  You just help me
because you love me and don't want me to hurt anymore than necessary."  I
continued.  "And I guess I can let you, I'm just not used to it, alright?"
	"Alright."  He gave a triumphant grin.
	"And I might get pissy sometimes, but it's not because I don't
appreciate it.  I'm just not used to it."

	He just nodded with the same smile.

	"And I'm not hiding anything from you."  I blurted it out.  "Well,
maybe in a way I am.  But it has got NOTHING to do with not trusting you or
anything.  I just don't want you to know some things because you might
think less of me.  And, I just don't want that.  I love you, and I want you
to love me."
	"Baby, I'm not gonna stop loving you for anything.  Trust me on
that."  He replied quickly.
	"I know that, damnit."  I sighed heavily.
	"Then what's the matter?"
	"It's just that in some deference of my emotions.."
	"You're going psuedo-intellectual on me."  He stopped me.

	I looked at him, looked into his deep blue eyes, and couldn't help
but laugh.  He grinned at me, grabbing onto my wrists as I clutched onto
his shoulders.

	"Just tell me when you're ready to, baby.  Alright?"  He made a
compromise.

	God, I loved him.

	"Alright."  I bit my bottom lip.  "I love you."
	"Apparently.  You did steal a golf cart for me."  He teased, then
added.  "I love you, too, baby."
	"Now, help me back over to the golf cart so I can go back and let
the doctor work on my foot.  Please."  I winked.  "And please don't let
Aaron drive this time."
	"Anything for my favorite guy."  He kissed my cheek as we hobbled
back over to the cart.







	When we got back to my trailer, the doctor had a puss on his face.
Rachel looked like she had enjoyed watching Clinnon twitch while I was
gone.  Clinnon--well--he looked like he had been twitching.  However, they
all looked a bit more relieved when I showed back up with Brian and Aaron
helping me hop back to the couch so the doctor could x-ray and eventually
put the boot on me.
	It was the clunkiest damn thing I've ever had to wear.  Not
particularly heavy, but I knew I was going to hurt myself or someone else
with it before the whole ordeal was over.  The doctor instructed me to wear
it anytime I was up and moving around.  However, I could take it off in the
tub, or if I just planned to be sitting around.  Clinnon
fainted--literally--when this news was told to me.  After he had hit the
floor, I laughed my ass off.
	Apparently Clinnon should have been an actor, not a director,
because he was the biggest drama queen I'd ever seen.  I didn't know why it
bothered him so much.  My foot wasn't important to the scenes we had to
shoot, so it didn't matter whether or not it had a boot on. I guess he
thought telling the cameramen to film me from the knee up was too hard.
	As Brian, Aaron and I were leaving the studio, Rachel gave me a
high-five for quote "almost doing away with Clinnon".  I had made her
proud.  I'd made myself a bit proud as well.  Brian got a little nervous
about the fact that I planned to drive my car home while he went to pick up
Booker with Aaron.  However, after I explained that you drive with your
left foot, and my car was automatic, he didn't worry.
	Bob stopped me before I could get into my car and drive home. He
had wanted me to know that the studio would pay for the doctor and whatever
else bills came out of the incident since I was on set.  Like I had been
worried.  He also wanted to let me know that he was going to delay filming
for the rest of the week.  He wanted me to "rest a bit before filming
resumes, and Clinnon is a bit distressed". I think that was code for
"Clinnon has had a breakdown, come back Monday".  Either way, I wasn't
going to argue.
	In order to keep Brian from screeching at me when he got home from
picking up Booker, I went straight to the den after parking my car in the
garage.  I flipped on the T.V. and laid down on the couch. Yes, I could be
a good boy when I tried.  Mainly, I wanted to avoid Brian going ballistic
because I wasn't off my foot.  I was contemplating popping the Lortabs the
doctor gave me and sleeping the rest of the afternoon and night when
everyone got home.

	"Hi, Daddy!"  Booker practically bulldozed thru the den as he came
running up to me.
	"Hey, buddy."  I smiled as he hopped up and laid down beside me,
curling up against me.
	"Turn it to Sponge Bob!"  He shrieked.

	I'd never met anyone that could get so excited while laying down.
Well, unless they were having sex.

	"Alright, alright."  I chuckled and flipped the channel to
Nickelodeon.

	He had me trapped.  He had intentionally laid down beside me and
requested Sponge Bob before I could escape.

	"Oh good Lord, not more Sponge Bob!"  Aaron groaned loudly as he
walked into the den.
	"Be quiet!"  Booker squealed at Aaron as he sat down in one of the
easy chairs.
	"Yeah, you tell him, buddy."  I hugged Booker to me.  "Sponge Bob
rocks."
	"Yeah!"  Booker stuck his tongue out at Aaron.
	"Sponge Bob blows."  Aaron rolled his eyes.
	"Aaron!"  I laughed.
	"What are you three fighting about in here?"  Brian asked as he
walked in, dropping his keys on the table by Aaron's chair.
	"Aaron's making fun of Sponge Bob, Daddy!"  Booker told on him.
	"What does Aaron know?"  Brian winked at Booker.  "Let me lay with
Daddy, Booger."
	"Uh uh."  Booker shook his head.
	"You tell him, too."  I giggled and squeezed Booker.
	"Okay, fine."  Brian shrugged.  "You two asked for it."

	Before Booker could move out of the way, Brian had climbed on top
of the both of us, and was burrowing his way in between us.  The couch was
definitely wide enough for the three of us to lay side by side, but that
wasn't the point.

	"Get off us!"  I teased Brian as he tried to squeeze in behind me
on the couch.
	"Daddy, stop it!"  Booker giggled as the two of us were pushed
forward towards the edge of the couch.
	"Nope.  I want some of the action, too."  Brian laughed, finally
squeezing in to lay behind me.
	"Well, I hope you're happy now."  I pretended to be upset as Brian
laid an arm over Booker and me.
	"Immensely."  Brian squeezed us.

	We were able to watch the rest of the Sponge Bob episode in
silence, however, when it was announced that another episode was following,
Aaron broke the silence.

	"Oh, sweet Lord!"  He groaned.
	"Sweet Lord?"  Brian snorted.
	"Is that, like, a sugar substitute?" I quipped.
	"On those days when you just want the appearance of spirituality."
Brian added.
	"Huh?"  Booker was confused.
	"I'm hungry."  Aaron rubbed his stomach.
	"Well, get yourself something from the kitchen."  Brian stated.
	"What are we having for dinner?"  He asked.
	"Yeah, what're we having for dinner, baby?"  I asked Brian.
	"Anything I don't have to fix."  He yawned.
	"I want pizza."  Booker got excited again.
	"Works for me."  I shrugged.  "But no pepperoni."

	Brian laughed when I made an "ugh" noise.



(Part Ten)



	"Why's Ron mad at Harry, Daddy?"  Booker asked, stopping me in
mid-sentence.  "I can't 'member."
	"He's mad because he thinks Harry found a way to put his name in
the Goblet of Fire.  And he thinks Harry just wants attention all the
time."  I replied.
	"Oh."
	"We need to start reading more often.  Huh?"  I laughed.
	"Uh huh."
	"Why don't we stop here tonight, though, buddy?  Alright?"  I was
getting tired.

	I had been sitting on the edge of Booker's bed, reading Harry
Potter & The Goblet of Fire for the last forty-five minutes.

	"Okay.  But you gotta do the voice for me."  He smiled wide.

	I laughed for a second, then did my impersonation of Hagrid for
Booker's amusement.

	"Goodnight, buddy."  I laughed and leaned down to give him a kiss
on the forehead.
	"'Nite, Daddy."  He giggled back and gave me a quick hug around the
neck.

	I left Booker's room, shutting off the light and closing the door
to a slit.  Brian was already in our bedroom, waiting on me to come to bed.
However, before I made the way down to our room, I had to stop and make
Aaron promise to shut the lights out before midnight.  Not that he had
anywhere to be the next day, but I didn't want him turning into a night
owl.  He agreed without too much of an argument.  But I still got an
eye-roll from him.
	When I got down to my bedroom, Brian was already in his PJ's,
laying in bed with a book.  I made sure to close the door behind myself and
lock the door before doing anything else.  Brian didn't even look up from
his book.  He looked pretty comfy, propped up by ALL the pillows.  He
probably didn't want to move.

	"You definitely won't ever sneak up on anybody with that boot."
Brian sighed.  "I heard you clunkin' all the way down the hall."
	"Oh shut up."  I chuckled as I went over to the closet to get my
PJ's on.
	"Booker asleep?"
	"He was headed towards sleepytown when I left his room.  He's
probably already zonked out."
	"Need help getting dressed?"

	I stepped out of the closet and gave him a look.

	"What??"  He laid his book on the nightstand with a laugh.
	"We both know you don't really think I need help.  You just want a
reason to strip me."  I rolled my eyes playfully.
	"So?  Doesn't that make you happy?"  He winked.
	"You're such a horndog."  I acted upset, then added.  "I looooooove
it."
	"Just hurry up and get over here."  Brian pulled the covers back on
my side of the bed and patted the sheet.
	"A boy with a walking boot moves slowly, babes."
	"Well, try to move faster."
	"Do you think I have to sleep in it, too?"  I asked as I pulled my
shirt off over my head.
	"Prolly."  Brian shrugged.  "You toss alot in your sleep."
	"I do not!"
	"Baby, I'm surprised I don't have any welts from you flinging your
arms in your sleep."
	"No one likes a liar, Brian."  I teased.
	"Whatever.  All I'm saying is you better keep the boot on so when
you're kicking in your sleep you don't hurt your foot more."  He stuck his
tongue out at me.

	I knew I wasn't exactly the neatest when I slept.  However, I
couldn't let Brian win an argument.  That would be wrong.  I didn't have a
problem getting dressed at all.  Well, not until I tried to pull my sleep
bottoms on over the boot.  My pants pulled off easily over the boot, but
getting the bottoms on over it was a different story altogether.  After a
few grunts and groans on my part, I guess Brian had had enough of listening
to me.

	"What the hell are you doing in there?"  He laughed.
	"Jerkin' off--what does it sound like?"  I laughed back from my
place in the closet.
	"Can I watch?"  He stated slyly.
	"Hell no."  I moved out to where he could see me.  "But you can
help me get these damn things pulled on over this boot."
	"I get to help Matt with something???"  He couldn't not rub it in.

	I had been able to get the sleep bottoms pulled up to my waist, but
the leg of them was still over the boot.

	"Just shut up and help me."  I snorted as I sat down on my side of
the bed.
	"Yes sir!"  Brian saluted me, then came around to kneel in front of
me.
	"And no more comments that'll piss me off."  I shook a finger at
him.
	"That rules out my talking completely."  He rolled his eyes
playfully as he slowly worked the bottom of the leg over the boot towards
my calf.
	"See, comments like that will not get you laid in the future."
	"Oh, then I WILL be quiet."  He laughed.

	It took a couple minutes, but Brian got the leg of my sleep bottoms
pulled over the boot, and up to my calf, just above the top of the boot.  I
knew I wasn't going to be winning any fashion awards while I had the boot
on.  However, I'd rather look unfashionable for a bit and get my foot
healed.  I wished I had never kicked the railing of the deck.

	"There ya' go, baby."  Brian squeezed my thigh as he stood.
	"Thanks."

	Brian went back around to his side of the bed as I snuggled under
the covers on my side, getting nice and comfy for a long night's sleep.  I
gave a contented sigh as Brian switched off his bedside lamp and curled up
behind me.  He draped an arm over me, holding me against him.

	"I love you, baby."  He whispered in my ear, then kissed my cheek.
	"I love you, too."  I yawned as he nuzzled the side of my face with
his.
	"Wanna fuck?"  He growled in my ear playfully.
	"After what I had to go thru to get these drawer's on?"  I laughed.
	"We don't have to take them ALL the way off."  He rubbed his nose
against the side of my face.
	I rolled over onto my back.  "You're horny, like,
twenty-four-seven, ain'thca?"
	"Well, yeah."  He stated in a tone that said 'duh'. "You make me
horny all the time."
	"You must really love me, if you still find me sexy with this boot
on."
	"It's kinda kinky."  He teased.
	"You're weird."  I leaned up to kiss the tip of his nose.
	"I know,"He sighed, then propped his head up on one hand to look at
me,"you're so gorgeous."
	"You're so full of it."  I teased.  "But I appreciate it."
	"Can you remember the last time we actually laid in bed and just
talked?"
	"I believe it was that Saturday back in fifty-two."  I teased.
	"That's about right, though."  He nodded.

	I gave him a smile, which I wasn't sure he could see without a
little more light than what the moon provided.  He stayed in his same
position, watching me as I lay there, looking up at him.  After a full
minute, I was beginning to get uncomfortable.

	"So, ya' gonna talk or what?"  I asked.
	Brian laughed lowly.  "I don't know what I want to talk about."
	"Well, that's a start."
	"You know, I think for the kitchen in the new house I'm gonna tell
the designer to go Italian Tuscan."  Brian stated whimsically.
	"Ooooh, me likes."  I rolled onto my side, mirroring Brian's
position.
	"It'll be all black, antique-y looking stove, fridge, etcetera.
Wrought iron tables and chairs, maybe a little sitting area.  Those dark
red stone tiles, green walls."
	"You're getting me hard."  I teased.
	"That does sound awesome, huh?"  He asked.
	"Definitely awesome."
	"You and I are gonna have a huuuuuuuuge room, with a big ole
bathroom off of it.  It's gonna be the bestest thing you ever saw."  He
stated, making me laugh.
	"Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, can our room have blue walls? Like blue blue
walls?"  I asked.
	"Uh, yeah."  Brian gave me the 'duh' tone again.
	"Eeeeeexcellent."  I turned on my back again and scootched over
next to him.

	It got quiet again.  Brian laid on his side next to me as I
snuggled against him, but we didn't talk.  I didn't know if he thought it
should be my turn to come up with a topic, or he was ready to go to bed.  I
was going to be content either way.  When it came to sleep or conversation,
I wasn't too picky at that moment in time.

	"Do you want a hot tub, too?"  Brian asked.
	"If you have a pool, you gots to have a hot..."  I tried to reply.
	"Answer me, okay?"  Brian stated quickly, cutting me off.
	"I was trying to before you cut me off."  I laughed.
	"No, I mean about the Enquirer thing and all."  Brian pleaded.

	I sighed heavily.

	"I know you said you'd tell me when you felt ready to, and I'm not
mad that you aren't ready or anything.  But I'm just dying to know the
answers.  I have to know."  Brian sat up in bed and looked down at me,
pleading with me to satisfy his curiosity.
	"Fine.  If it'll make you shut up once and for all, I'll tell you."
I replied, acting pissed off, though I wasn't at all.
	"Thank God."  Brian gave a sigh of relief.

	I sat up, facing Brian, moving my left leg out to the side to keep
it straight.  I would have sat "Indian Style", but sitting on the boot
wouldn't have been comfortable.  My ass was only used to one thing being
shoved in it.  Brian waited while I reached over and turned on my bedside
lamp, then folded my hands in my lap.  Brian was jittery from excitement,
but not smiling.  He looked worried.

	"And you have to promise to not get mad at me, or hate me, or, I
don't know.....stop loving me."  I was only half kidding.
	"I promise, baby."  Brian grabbed my hands and held them.
	"Well, it involves my first manager."  I sighed.
	"Tom."  Brian nodded.
	"No, my other first manager."  I gave a nervous laugh.
	"Um, yeah, okay."  Brian caught on.
	"Before I got Tom as a manager, this guy name Rob represented me.
Well, for about a week, anyway.  That's why I've never really talked about
him--I didn't stay with him for long."
	"Why not?"

	I gave a painful grin.

	"Is he what happens to tweaked out cute teenage boys?"  Brian
squinted.
	"Him and his friends, yeah."  I shook my head.

	Brian squeezed my hands harder.

	"See, Rob represented myself and several other boys."  I sighed.
"And he only represented boys.  I guess that should have tipped me off as
to what he really wanted from me."

	Brian just held my hands and listened as I spoke.

	"Rob took me on as a client a couple months before I turned
seventeen.  I was still in high school and all.  I hadn't done any work
whatsoever, but he said he'd represent me because I quote 'had what he was
looking for'."  I snorted.  "That should have tipped me off, too."
	"You had no way of knowing, baby."
	"It doesn't matter."  I shook my head.  "I still was stupid enough
to fall for the crap.  Anyway, for the first couple days, he was a cool
guy.  I was straightforward about my sexuality, because I knew it would
matter in the business relationship.  I wish I'd never told him."

	Brian looked angry, however, I kept going.

	"Anyway, the week went by, and he introduced me to several of his
other 'clients' during that time.  One of the boys was this guy I went to
school with, so I knew him well.  Most the other guys I didn't know, but
they all seemed real cool, and all.  Anyway, when the weekend came, Rob
asked me and Jason..."
	"Who's Jason?"  Brian butted in.
	"The kid he introduced me to that I knew from school."  I
explained, getting frustrated that I was getting lost in the story.
	"Oh."
	"Well, he told Jason and me to come to this party on Saturday
night.  He said it was to 'celebrate our new business relationship'."  I
rolled my eyes.
	"I'm guessing it wasn't?"  Brian looked me in the eye.
	"Well it was.  But we were supposed to be the entertainment--if you
will.  He told us to come to his apartment.  And, I mean, it was a really
nice area of Dallas.  I'd tell you where it was, but it probably wouldn't
make a difference to you..."

	His eyes dropped to his lap.

	"Anyway, Jason and I went to this party together, as instructed.
We got there at ten o'clock at night.  Ofcourse, my mother let me go
because, well, shit.  She was actually on a trip with Steve, and she didn't
even know what I was doing anyway.  So Jason and I decided to go to the
party together, and I told him he could crash back at my place."
	"Yeah, okay."  Brian didn't look up.

	I wanted to grab his chin and make him look up at me.  Look me in
the eye the whole time I was telling him this.  He wanted to hear it,
afterall.  He pressed me to tell it, why the fuck didn't he look at me as I
talked?

	"Anyway,"I continued to let him look at his lap,"we showed up at
his place, and he was there with like twenty other guys.  Jason and I were
his only 'clients' he had invited.  All these guys he had there, were
dressed nice and looked nice, that's not what bothered me."
	"What bothered you?"
	"Well, Rob had beaucoup amounts of booze there, and just drugs--I
mean drugs from A-Z.  You know how most parties have a buffet table with
food?  Well this was like a party with a table that had beer here, wine
there, tabs here, pot there, etcetera.  And as soon as Jason and I walked
in the door, Rob and his friends tried to get us to start drinking and
taking shit."
	"What happened to you?"  Brian looked up at me.

	I realized why he was looking down.  His eyes were red and his
cheeks were streaked with tears.

	"Don't cry for me, baby."  I reached out and wiped his cheeks free
of tears.
	"How can I not cry for what happened to you??"  He gave a wet sob.
"What happened to you, Matt?"
	"Well, actually, nothing."  I answered simply.  "I left five
minutes after I got there."

	Brian's tears stopped and he looked confused, but relieved at the
same time.

	"What?"  He stammered.  "Why's it such a sore subject for you
then?"
	"Well, I left because I didn't like the vibe I was getting from
those guys, and I really wasn't in the mood to dope up and drink up with
strange men."  I shrugged.
	"And?"
	"When I told Jason I was leaving, he decided to stay and party."  I
rolled my eyes.  "He thought it was all just going to be fun."
	"Oh."
	"Well, I went home.  I went right to bed and didn't think twice
about the whole thing."  I continued.  "But, about four in the morning, I
heard the doorbell.  Before Kylie woke up and got it, I ran downstairs,
and, well shit...."
	"What?"
	"It was Jason."
	"Then he was okay??"  Brian urged me on.
	"No."  I stated.  "He wasn't.  Someone had dumped him on the front
porch.  He was drugged up, and God, I don't know what they had done to him,
but he looked like hell.  These fuckers, just left this kid on my front
porch, without even knowing if he was gonna live or die, or--well what the
fuck ever."
	"Jesus."
	"I tried everything we did for Aaron the other night, but he just
got worse and worse."  I jerked back tears.  "But I ended up having to
drive him to the ER with Kylie in tow."
	"Did he..."  Brian gulped.
	"No, he lived.  He was physically fine in a couple days."  I
shrugged.
	"What happened to that fucker Rob?"
	"I don't know where he is now."  I shrugged.  "But I went to see
him after Jason got out of the hospital.  He said he had nothing to do with
it.  However, when I threatened to go to the police, he admitted to 'having
some fun' with him.  I told him he better let us out of our contracts and
never talk to either of us again."
	"What'd he do?"
	"He threatened to hurt me like he did Jason."
	"Jesus."
	"But, I told him our contracts weren't valid anyway since neither
Jason, nor my parents had signed off.  And since we were minors..."
	"Good thinking, baby."  Brian stated.
	"Also, I threatened to go to the police.  He let us both out of the
contracts and never spoke to either of us again." I nodded.
	"What happened to Jason?"
	I gave a pained grin.  "He never did tell me what happened to him
that night, so I have no clue."
	"Maybe he was too drugged out to remember?"
	"I'd like to think so."  Another tear rolled down my cheek.  "But I
really think he remembered every little thing."
	"Damn."  Brian wiped his eyes.
	"But, he kinda won in the end."  I shrugged.  "He ended up giving
up acting.  Heard he went on to Harvard or some shit.  That's a good
rebound, right?"
	Brian gave a wet laugh.  "Yeah."
	"And, well Rob got shot in a drug deal shortly before Tom signed on
to represent me.  So, he got his commuppance."  I didn't want to smile, but
I did.
	"Serves the fucker right."  Brian snarled, then suddenly his
expression changed and his eyes got wide.  "Oh, thank God it wasn't you!"
	I couldn't help but laugh as Brian wrapped his arms around my neck
and pulled me in for a hug.  "I used to wish it had been me."
	Brian pulled back from me in shock.  "What the hell are you talking
about?!?!"
	"I wish Jason didn't have to go thru that.  I wish I had made him
go home with me.  Since it happened to him, for awhile I wished I had gone
thru it, too."
	"Baby, sometimes you're such a damn softy, I can't believe it."  He
gave a wet laugh and hugged me again.  "But how does that explain how you
knew what drug Aaron was on?"

	I rolled my eyes comically and took a deep breath.

	"It doesn't.  I was getting the hard part out of the way, first."
I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.  "The drug thing, well, that's
less dramatic.  Donna used to have a problem when she was eighteen,
nineteen, and I'd take care of her alot when she came home stoned out of
her mind."
	"That would explain why Donna had told Booker that you're 'good at
taking care of people', huh?"  He gave half a smile.
	"Yeah, I'm sure that was what she was referring to."  I sniffled.

	The timing couldn't have been worse.  Just as Brian opened his
mouth to say something, there was a knock at our door.

	"I'll get it."  Brian sighed.
	"Tell Aaron to just go to bed and leave us alone." I teased as I
wiped my eyes clear of tears quickly.
	"No shit."  Brian stated under his breath as he got out of bed and
went over to our bedroom door.

	Instead of Aaron, it was Booker at the door, looking pitiful. It
was actually just an act he used to get us to let him sleep in our bed.  He
had his stuffed Sponge Bob Square Pants under one arm, and was rubbing his
eyes with his other fist.

	"What's up, buddy?"  Brian asked him.
	"Can I sleep with you?"  He whined.
	"Yeah, okay."  Brian laughed lowly, then opened the door wider for
Booker to come in.

	Booker dashed in with a smile.  Brian closed and locked the door as
Booker came towards my side of the bed.  When Brian turned around to look
at me, I mouthed the word "sucker" to him with a smile.  Brian just
returned my comment with a comical grin.

	"What you doin', Daddy?"  Booker asked as he climbed up onto my
side of the bed.
	"Just talking to Bri--daddy about your aunt Kylie and your momma."
I answered somewhat honestly.

	They had been mentioned in the conversation anyway.  I thought that
appeased him because he climbed over to the middle of the bed and laid down
beside me.  It took some doing, but I got the clunky boot under the covers,
and then pulled the covers up and over Booker and myself.  Brian walked
over and turned my beside lamp off, then went around and crawled into bed
on the other side of Booker.

	"Goodnight, family."  Brian leaned over to kiss me, then gave
Booker a kiss on the forehead.
	"'Nite, daddy and daddy."  I almost laughed at Booker's statement
for some reason.
	"'Nite Pa and John Boy."  I replied with a Texas accent.
	"Oh, that was cute."  I could tell Brian was rolling his eyes, even
though I couldn't see it.
	"Daddy?"  Booker rolled my way.
	"Yeah, buddy?"  I asked, letting my eyes close as I got comfy under
the blankets.
	"Why don't I ever see Uncle Marcus no more?"

	My eyes shot right back open.  To say I was floored, was an
understatement.  Uncle Marcus?!?

	Brian laughed.  "Booker, you don't HAVE an Uncle Marcus."
	"Yeah I do!"  He squealed playfully as Brian tickled him.  "Don't
I, Daddy?"

	I could already see Brian beating me to a bloody pulp.

	"Uncle Marcus?"  I gulped loudly.  "When did you meet Uncle
Marcus?"
	"He used to come see Momma alot."  Booker stated proudly.
	"Baby?"  Brian sat up slightly in bed.  I could see his silhouette
in the moonlight.  "What's Booker talking about?"
	"Jesus please us...someone just shoot me in the head."  I groaned
painfully in response.





TO BE CONTINUED....



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