Date: Tue, 13 Aug 2002 23:20:33 +0000
From: Stephanie M
Subject: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 16/?

Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 16/?
Author: Stephanie M
Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship.
Feedback: This is not my normal type of story, I'd love to hear what
everyone thinks.
Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or
the Backstreet Boys. The story is the result of a warped mind.
Warnings: JC bashing - sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse.
Rating: NC-17
Status: WIP

Part 16

Carson said with a smile at the camera, "Now for a TRL exclusive. Just hours
ago TRL received a recording and photographs of Lance Bass and AJ McLean
taken last night at Mr Bass' hospital room where he is recovering from the
effects of hypoglycaemia. Lance is being comforted by AJ who reportedly
begged the doctors to let him stay. Now we are going to reveal exactly what
TRL received."

The tape of AJ and Lance's conversation then started while pictures of AJ
holding Lance's hand appeared. When the recording finished it was with a
picture of Lance and AJ in bed together with AJ curled protectively around
the younger man.

Carson said solemnly, "As you have just heard Lance has just gone through a
very traumatic experience but he is beginning to recover with the help of AJ
and his friends. Lance has had no contact with his parents who have refused
to comment on the upcoming court case. The Backstreet and Nsync camps have
refused to comment however a source very close to them said that AJ and
Lance were sleeping in the same bed ever since the pair returned to
Chicago."

AJ stared at the television in a mix of anger and shock, how had someone
managed to sneak into the hospital room? Surely their bodyguards should have
been able to protect them? In that instant he realised he would have to make
sure Lance was moved somewhere a little safer. If a reporter could get in
then so could anyone else. He knew JC would want a way to get even with
them.

"Looks like we're out the closet." Lance said with a small smile.

Still worried that Lance hadn't mentioned his results but also pleased at
Lance's sincere smile AJ answered, "I wasn't in the closet to begin with.
Could you tell me the results of your test? If you don't want to then you
don't have to."

Lace looked at the dark haired man for a minute before saying, "They're
negative."

"Oh. Why were you crying?" AJ asked unable to understand Lance's reaction.
It wasn't what how he had thought Lance would react to a negative result.

Lance forced a smile on his face saying, "I was just happy. Do you think I
might be able to walk around the hospital for a while? I'm a little tired of
hanging around the hospital all the time."

Standing AJ said, "I'll go ask Kate. She's in charge of this floor today.
I'll see you in a couple of minutes."

Lance smiled the other man left, taking a piece of paper out from under his
pillow he looked at the results in a mix of shock and anger. It was the
worst word in the world right then. How could the word Positive hurt so
much? Lance had no idea how to tell AJ he was HIV positive seeing how he
couldn't handle it himself. Lance knew he should tell AJ but couldn't help
but feel the Backstreet Boy would leave him. AJ deserved someone who wasn't
HIV, someone who was unspoilt.

AJ walked in with a wheelchair and said, "Kate's said we can go. Oh, Kim's
back on duty tonight. You'll like her; she's really nice. She took care of
you the day you were admitted."

"Cool. I suppose we should take the guards with us?" Lance said removing the
frown from his face.

AJ nodded, "Yeah. Kate said the doctor will discharge you tomorrow if your
blood sugar is okay."

"That sounds good. You know, I don't need this." Lance said honestly as he
got into the chair.

"Apparently its hospital policy. You up for a brief tour of the hospital?"
AJ said pushing the wheelchair out of the room.

"Yeah." Lance said as they approached the elevators.

Just as they reached them a little boy about ten appeared and looked at them
in shock. Then the boy held his hand saying, "Its nice to meet you. I'm
Graham. Are you ill? I am."

AJ shook the boy's hand as Lance said, "Hi Graham. Where are you going?"

Coughing violently Graham said, "Paediatric Intensive Care on the ninth
floor. Would you like to see the other kids? They would like to meet you and
that way I won't get in trouble for sneaking out the ward."

"We'd love to see the others." Lance said as the elevator arrived and the
three got inside.

Graham grinned and immediately the pair felt a little happier. Graham
lightly bounced on the spot as he shouted, "Cool! They others are going to
love me for this! A lot of them are like m, they won't have a chance to see
you guys in concert."

"Why do you say that?" AJ asked shocked.

Graham said honestly "We're going to die. My best friend Michelle has
leukaemia. I've got AIDS. My mom had it as well but she died. My nurse Linda
said she's still watching over me."

"I'm sure she is and she's proud of you." Lance said looking at the little
boy unable to believe how brave the child was.

"Come on! Sarah loves you guys." Graham said as soon as the elevator door
opened.

Lance and AJ followed the boy smiling sadly at each other when they saw just
how many children were on the terminal ward. AJ couldn't help but admire the
people who worked with the children. He knew it took a special kind of
strength to look after someone you knew was going to die.
*******
The pair spent hours on the ward talking and playing with each child. Both
wanted to make the children's lives a little happier, to make sure that each
child had something happy in their lives. Just before they left the pair did
a quick rendition of what had become their song, I'll Stand By You by The
Pretenders.

"See you later. I hope you get better soon, Lance." Graham said sleepily
hugging the pair before getting into bed.

"See you Graham. Sweet dreams." Lance said seriously, a small tear in his
eyes.

"Thank you so much for doing this." A nurse said they were on their way to
the elevator.

Smiling AJ said, "That's okay, we wanted to do it. I'm going to write a
cheque for two million dollars the ward to make sure the children have
everything they need."

Lance said quickly, "So will I. Would it be okay if we came to see Graham
later?"

"Thank you. Graham hasn't got long now and I know he would like to spend
time with you."

"How long do you think he has?" Lance asked wanting to do his best to make
the young boy's last days as happy as possible.

The female nurse said sadly, "Realistically probably about ten days. He's
got pneumonia."

"Oh." Lance said in shock unable to believe the boy was going to die so
soon.

She replied, "Yeah. It hurts every time a child dies but they are going to a
better place. Could you leave now? We need to get the children to sleep and
that won't happen if you're here."

"Okay." Lance said seconds before AJ wheeled him out the ward.
*******
Lance looked at AJ knowing he had to tell the other man the truth. AJ
deserved the truth. The way AJ had behaved with Graham and the other
children had reassured him that AJ wasn't going to leave him because of his
illness. He felt guilty for even thinking that way.

Pulling AJ down on the bed next to him Lance said, "I lied to you Alex. My
results weren't negative. I'm HIV positive. Do you hate me now?"

AJ took Lance's hand and said seriously, "Oh James, I could never hate you.
I'll take care of you. You know that, right? This doesn't change how I feel
about you."

"Don't you see? I'm dirty. I'm fucking poison!" Lance shouted at AJ,
desperate to make the other man understand what he thought his illness
meant.

AJ protested furiously, "You're not. Having HIV doesn't change who you are.
You're still the man I love."

Lance shouted in anger, "You're fucking insane, Alex! You can't love me! I'm
dirty and worthless."

AJ said quickly, "You're not. You're wonderful and I'm going to make you see
that. I'm tired. Can we go to bed now?"

"I'll ask them to bring in another bed for you, you shouldn't have to be
near me."

AJ said gently, "As far as I'm concerned there's no problem with sleeping in
the same bed with you. I love you and that hasn't changed."

Lance shrugged, "I guess you can sleep in my bed but I'm only trying to help
you. You deserve better than me."

"There's no one better for me. I love you not someone else." AJ said
passionately.

As AJ joined him in the bed Lance said, "You say that now but once you see
how ugly I am, you'll change your mind."

As Lance closed his eyes AJ vowed, "I won't. I love and I'm not going to
leave you. No matter what it takes, I'll make you see that."
*******
"You think AJ and Lance have seen the news report?" Chris asked worriedly.

Howie shrugged, "I guess not. If they had then AJ would have called us to
demand we get somewhere else for them to stay."

"You think they're okay?" Justin asked concerned.

Kevin said tightly hugging his lover, "Sure, babe. They'd call us if they
needed us."

"Yeah. I wonder how that reporter managed to get in there?" Nick said
carefully not knowing how the others would react.

Joey said seething, "I don't know but I'm going to talk to the guards. They
were supposed to be protecting Lance and AJ."

"Yeah. Have you heard anything about Lance's parents?" Howie said trying to
defuse the situation.

Justin sighed, "Yeah. They called me after they saw the broadcast demanding
to see him. I said that Lance was resting. They also wanted me to ban AJ
from staying with him, it seems they think he's taking advantage of Lance."

"AJ couldn't, wouldn't do that to Lance." Howie said knowing that sort of
behaviour wasn't in his friend.

Trying to make Howie understand their point of view Nick said, "I know but
they don't know him."

Howie nodded in understanding before silence descended in the room, each too
caught up in their worries for their friends to bother making small talk.
They had more pressing matters on their minds, like what they were going to
do if JC didn't go to jail?
*******
"Call for you, Lance." Kate said with a grin as she walked into the room to
find the pair in bed together.

Lance smiled in thanks as she gave him the phone, "Thanks. Who is it?"

"No idea. He's from your management, apparently." Kate said with a shrug.

"Hi?" Lance said into the phone.

Lou sneered, "Bass, so happy to hear from you."

"What do you want Lou?" Lance asked angrily still unable to forget the way
Lou had treated him. Lou had known about the beatings, even going as far as
encouraging JC by saying it was the only way Lance would learn.

Lou said coolly, "Is that anyway to talk to an old friend? Just a little
promise, withdraw from the trial or AJ might have a little accident. I'm
sure people would believe he got drunk over the stress of your situation ran
into a car. It wouldn't be the first time something like that has happened."

"Don't even think about coming near him! If anything happens to him, I'll
kill you." Lance promised unwilling to let something happen to AJ.

"Think about it. I'll talk to you soon, Lance." Lou said as he ended the
call.

Lance hung up the phone and looked at the man sleeping at his side. As he
looked at AJ he vowed to do his best to protect AJ from everything, even
himself. AJ had risked so much for him and Lance wasn't going to let it be
in vain. Lance would gladly give his life for AJ, the man who had come to
mean so much to him. Lance was sure that he had some feelings for AJ but
having never been in love he had no idea what love was supposed to feel
like. He had spent years singing about love, but had never felt it.

"James?" AJ asked as he woke to find Lance staring at him sadly.

Lance whispered, "You know I would do anything for you, right?"

"I know. What's wrong Sweetheart?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you knew that." Lance said as he
snuggled into AJ's arms. He couldn't tell AJ about Lou's threat, it would
only make the man worry and he wasn't going to put AJ through that. AJ
didn't need anything else to worry about. He knew AJ was already panicking
about the trial.

End Part 16