Blissful Tears

Chapter 15

Brian tilted his head, asking AJ to move closer. AJ was afraid, afraid Brian would reject him again. "Um, maybe I should let people know you're awake," he suggested weakly. Brian continued to smile and shook his head.

Reluctantly AJ leaned down closer to Brian's head.

In a voice barely above a whisper, Brian spoke. "Alexander, will you marry me?"

AJ sat back suddenly with a thud and stared at Brian in shock. Brian tugged gently on their clenched hands asking AJ to come closer again.

"Brian..."

Brian raised his hand weakly and put a finger over AJ's lips. "Sshhh. Don't answer me yet. Wait till I get out of here, okay?" All AJ could do was nod. Brian closed his eyes briefly and swallowed. "How long...?" he left the sentence unfinished, but Alex knew what he was asking. Alex tenderly brushed the light brown hair from Brian's forehead.

"It's been almost a week Babe," Alex whispered, unable to stop the tears from welling up as he remembered how close he'd been to losing Brian.

Before Brian could respond the door of the hospital room opened.

"Any change AJ?" a voice asked and Brian gasped. "AJ? Brian?" the voice asked as the person walked further into the room and over to the bed.

Brian reluctantly looked over at the woman but kept a death grip on Alex's hand. He was not going to let go again, ever.

"Brian dear, you're awake!" she exclaimed with joy. She moved closer to the bed, but froze when she saw Brian flinch. She lost her smile as she realized what damage she had to done to her relationship with her youngest son.

Brian looked at his mother fearfully. "Why are you here?" he asked hiding the fear behind anger.

Jackie sighed but kept back from the bed. "I'm here because you are my son, and I love you. I'm sorry I was so blind and arrogant that I almost lost you," she said intently, fighting back the tears.

Brian moved his gaze to AJ. "Alex, please! Make her leave," he begged quietly, never releasing his tight grip on AJ's hand.

AJ looked over at Jackie and could see the sorrow and pain on her face. But Brian was his concern right now. Jackie raised her eyes from her son to look at AJ. Silently she nodded and turned to leave the room.

She paused at the door. "I'll let the others know," she said quietly, then shut the door behind her.

AJ returned his attention to Brian and could see his entire body was trembling. AJ quickly leaned down and softly kissed Brian's lips. "It's okay baby. So much has happened in the last week, I don't know where to start."

Brian weakly hugged AJ. "You are the reason I get up in the morning. I love you. Just promise me we will never be apart again," he whispered desperately.

AJ pulled back and kissed Brian again. "I promise," he vowed quietly, before Brian drifted to sleep.

AJ sat back and stared at the sleeping form before him. Brian was okay. He silently thanked God for allowing Brian to stay. AJ turned when he heard the door open and smiled when he saw Kevin poking his head in.

"Hey AJ," Kevin whispered. "Aunt Jackie said he woke up?"

AJ nodded. "Yeah. He's fallen asleep now, but he's out of the coma Kev. Do you know what was the first thing he said?" AJ asked with a soft laugh. Kevin shook his head. "He asked me to marry him Kev."

Kevin grinned. "And what did you say?"

AJ shook his head. "I didn't know what to say. He said I should wait till he's out of here before answering him."

Kevin leaned down and kissed AJ on the top of his head. "Just don't wait too long, okay?" he said quietly before touching Brian's arm. "The doctor is on her way and I'll be back later."

AJ nodded and Kevin left.

A few minutes later the doctor walked into the room. "Good afternoon AJ. I understand Brian woke up?" she said as she walked to the side of the bed to check Brian's pulse.

"Yes ma'am. He was talking to me for a few minutes, then fell asleep," AJ told her.

The doctor reached over and gently shook Brian's shoulders. "Brian? Brian, can you wake up for me? Just for a few minutes?"

Within a few seconds, Brian opened his eyes and stared at the doctor. "Alex?" he whispered.

AJ squeezed Brian's hand. "I'm here baby. This is Doctor Therin," AJ said.

"Brian, may I ask you some questions?" The doctor asked. Brian nodded. "Do you know where you are?"

"A hospital. I'm not sure which one," he said softly. "May I have a drink?" he asked. AJ jumped up and poured a glass of water from the pitcher. He put his arm behind Brian's shoulders to help him lean forward so he could sip the liquid. "Thanks love," Brian whispered.

The doctor watched the exchange with a smile on her face. Then she continued with her questions. "Brian, do you know WHY you're here?"

Brian closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes," he whispered. "Because I'm a coward and tried to take the easy way out," he murmured.

"No!" AJ exclaimed. "Brian that is not true. You were willing to sacrifice your happiness for the other guys and me. That's bravery in my books."

The doctor interrupted. "We'll talk about that later. Just a few more questions."

She had Brian squeeze her hands in his, then touch different body parts with different hands to be sure there was no brain damage. After a few questions about his friends and his home, which AJ verified the accuracy of, she pronounced him fit. There was no sign of permanent damage. She had AJ step out of the room for a minute while she disconnected the catheter and some other tubes.

"That's it. I know there are a few people who want to see you. I want to keep you for a couple of more days, just to be sure. If everything is good, we'll release you Friday. I will get you the name of some qualified therapists. I hope you seriously consider talking to one of them, for your sake and the sake of your relationship."

The doctor left and Brian turned to stare at AJ. "Alex..." Brian's voice wavered as tears welled up and spilled over.

AJ stood up and gathered Brian against him in a hug. "Shhh. Baby, everything is going to be okay now. I love you."

Brian held tightly to AJ and cried softly for a few minutes. He pulled back when there was a hesitant knock at the door. Brian reluctantly released AJ. AJ sat back and turned to the door.

"Come in!" he called softly.

Nick and Howie peeked around the door hesitantly. As soon as Nick saw Brian was awake, a huge smile spread across his face. He walked quickly to the bed and pulled Brian into a careful hug.

"See, I knew it would be Frick and Frack forever," Nick managed to say through his tears. Nick didn't want to let Brian go. Howie finally pried him away gently, and he turned into his lover's embrace crying softly.

Brian reached up and rubbed Nick's back. "I'm sorry Nicky," Brian said softly.

Nick whipped around and punched Brian in the shoulder. "Don't you fuckin' ever do that again!" he shouted. Howie grabbed Nick and pulled him back a little.

Brian rubbed his shoulder and squeezed AJ's clasped hand to let him know he was okay. "I promise Nick." Brian paused for a minute as he thought. Nick's words registered with him. "So you guys heard the tape?" he asked quietly. AJ nodded and Brian sighed. "I guess we have a lot to talk about," he murmured.

"Yes, we do. But not right now," AJ said firmly. "You need to get some rest. Everything else can wait."

Nick and Howie gave Brian another hug each, then left, promising to return the next day.

Outside the hospital room Nick stopped and turned to look at his lover.

"I want to tell my family Howie," he said softly, watching Howie for his reaction. "If I'm going to face the kind of reaction Brian got, I'd rather do it now and get it over with," he said quietly.

Howie reached out and took Nick's hands in his. "I honestly don't think your family will react that way, dear. But I will be with you every step of the way," he promised.

Nick smiled weakly and walked into Howie's embrace.

A minute later he pulled back. "Can we do it now?" he asked softly. "I know my parents are home and so are my brother and sisters."

Howie took Nick's hand firmly in his and began to walk down the hallway. "Then lets do it," he said with a supportive smile.

The hospital room fell silent as Brian and AJ weren't sure what to say.

"Bri? I don't want to get into all the details tonight but I have to tell you one thing," AJ finally said. Brian turned to gaze at his love. AJ held tightly to Brian's hand, afraid to let go. "You have to know, that those guys I brought with me, didn't mean anything. I never did anything more than the little show we put on in front of you." AJ closed his eyes. "I was so angry, I wanted to hurt you. I put on the little performances, but as soon as you were gone I...I couldn't even look at them. The idea of being with any of them made me sick. Please, baby! Please tell me you believe me," AJ pleaded.

He felt Brian pull his hand away and AJ's heart started to break all over again. He couldn't open his eyes. Then he felt a hand on his cheek, gently caressing his skin.

"Alex, love, I do believe you," Brian whispered. "I heard you talking to me. All week long, I heard you when you were here. And tonight, when you sang for me, I heard what you said." AJ opened his eyes and met Brian's clear blue gaze. "That was a beautiful song," Brian said with a smile.

AJ nodded through his tears. "It is, isn't it?" he commented as he wiped his tears. He sat up. "Now you need to sleep baby," he said firmly.

Brian nodded. "I know. Will you stay with me?" he asked softly.

AJ grinned. "Just try to get rid of me," he retorted.

Brian smiled tiredly. AJ reached over and brushed the hair from Brian's forehead. "Sleep, baby. I'm not going anywhere, I promise," AJ vowed and softly kissed Brian's cheek.

Brian's eyelids slowly closed. He couldn't fight the sleep any more. "Love you," he whispered before drifting into oblivion.

"Love you too," AJ whispered. He tenderly held Brian's hand in his and sat back in his chair. He was exhausted too, having had only a few hours of sleep during the past four days. For the first time since he'd found Brian on the floor of the studio, AJ was able to relax and sleep quickly took him.

"They do make a cute couple don't they?"

"I never thought I'd say this, but you're right, they do."

The voices woke AJ and he sat up suddenly, momentarily forgetting where he was. The first person he saw was Brian sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed. He flexed his back trying to work some kinks out. Looking around he realized what had wakened him. His Mom and Jackie were standing next to the door watching Brian. They smiled when they noticed AJ looking at them.

He pushed himself up and slowly walked over to the women. His body was stiff and he was still tired, but his relief about Brian helped alleviate the discomfort.

"Morning," he said quietly when he reached the women.

"Morning dear," Denise said, leaning forward to kiss AJ's cheek.

"Here AJ, thought you could use this," Jackie said as she picked up a Styrofoam cup from the table. AJ could smell the coffee and smiled gratefully. He took a large swallow of the hot beverage.

"Mmm. Thanks Jackie," he said sincerely.

"So how is he doing," she asked softly, turning her attention back to her son.

AJ turned to follow her gaze. He paused to take another drink. "He's doing good. The doctor checked him and there are no signs of any permanent damage. He's slept through the entire night. They want to keep him one more day, but if there are no problems, he'll be released tomorrow," AJ explained.

They watched as Brian began to stir. AJ set his coffee on the table and quickly walked to Brian's side. He picked up Brian's hand and held it tightly. Brian's eyes flickered open.

"Alex?" he said sleepily.

"I'm here baby," AJ whispered, bending down to kiss Brian's cheek.

Brian looked at AJ intently. "I thought it had been a dream. I thought maybe I had still lost you," he whispered, a tear slid down his face.

AJ quickly wiped the wetness away. "I'm here and you will never lose me Brian. You are my life," he whispered forcefully. "You got that?" he asked with a grin.

Brian nodded. "Got it!" he said and sat up, pulling AJ into a hug. As he did, he looked over AJ's shoulder and noticed the other people in the room. He stiffened as he saw his Mother standing beside Denise.

AJ pulled back, noticing the change in Brian. "What's wrong?" he asked fearfully.

"Why is she here?" Brian asked quietly, unwilling to look at his mom. AJ glanced over his shoulder to the women. He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Brian, baby, will you listen to me?" AJ asked gently. Brian stared at the bed sheet. AJ tenderly lifted Brian's head with his fingers. "Brian, please?"

Brian focused his gaze on AJ. AJ hated seeing the pain and sadness in his lover's eyes. "Brian, I know she hurt you," AJ said quietly, holding tightly to Brian's hands. "I KNOW what she did." Brian's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. AJ struggled to find the right words to continue. "Brian, Kevin made everyone listen to your tape. He wouldn't let Jackie and Harold in to see you until the tape was played...God, what you said on the tape...I wanted to die..." AJ paused to compose himself. "But it was what you said that finally registered with your parents. Your Mom finally realized how much her actions were hurting you. She apologized to everyone for what she had forced you to do...She apologized to me Brian for how she treated me." AJ's words surprised Brian. Never had he thought his righteous Mother would change her mind about her precious Bible and Church. "She said that coming to terms with two men together was her problem, but it shouldn't change her Christian values of how she treated people."

"You've forgiven her?" Brian asked.

AJ paused before shaking his head. "No, not completely. She caused you too much pain. But we have talked while you were in a coma. We've reached a mutual understanding. We can't change things, but we can move forward better understanding each other."

"You want me to talk to her?" Brian commented quietly.

AJ sighed. "That's up to you baby. I think you should give her a chance. At least listen to her. But it is your decision and I'll support whatever you choose to do."

Brian was quiet for a minute. "I think...I think I'd like to take a shower or a bath and get dressed," Brian said. "Why don't the parents join us for lunch?" he suggested.

AJ knew Brian was just putting things off, but he wasn't about to challenge that. It was Brian's right. He kissed Brian's cheek again. "Okay babe. I'll go tell them, then I'll be back to help you to the bathroom, okay?"

Brian blushed at the thought but nodded.

AJ walked back towards the door where the women were standing. He was grateful that they hadn't approached Brian as soon as he woke. He smiled slightly at their expectant looks.

"He has agreed to talk to you and Harold," he said, looking at Jackie. Jackie smiled broadly, but AJ held up his hand to prevent her from saying anything. "But not yet. He wants to get cleaned up, have some food and relax. He suggested that the five of us, you, Harold, Mom, he and I have lunch and talk about things."

He could see the disappointment on Jackie's face, but then she smiled slightly. "I guess that's more than I deserve. Thank you AJ."

Find out how Nick's family reacts!

Kenitra:-)