Date: Sun, 20 May 2001 03:34:29 -0000
From: Nathan Wolf <realityreflection@hotmail.com>
Subject: Blood Angel (Chapter 7)

Hello, I'm back. No I'm not dead, I didn't get in a car accident, and I
didn't get eaten by a giant elephant (Zach?) Anyway, here is so long
expected part 7. I have gotten a lot of interasting criticism lately, and it
inspired me to write this chapter. I promise that the action in the plot
will pick up very soon :o)
Anyway, the usual crap is that N'Sync are (not) gay, that you should (not)
read this if youre under 18, and that you should definetely NOT be reading
this if it offends you in any way.
That said, let's get on with the story.

           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


   Brian stared through the window with his forehead pressed against the
cool glass. The rain spilled on the ground ruthlessly, pressing the dry
branches and early spring flowers until they rested hopelessly in the river
of mud. With every minute passing by, the shapes of trees surrounding the
house were clearer and clearer, until Brian was sure that  the sunrise was
less than an hour away. He wasn't tired. His eyes were wide open and his
mind raced wildly, replaying the last two days over and over again. It
seemed like a dream... a dream that could have easily been called nightmare
if it wasn't for Robby.
Robby was still asleep in the living room; Brian could have sat there and
stared at him for hours if Colleen hadn't chased him out of the room so
Robby could sleep in peace. Robby looked like an angel... a beautiful, pale
angel whose wings were suddenly cut off. It pained Brian to think about all
the things Robby had to suffer through in order to keep him alive. It pained
him that Robby died so young... that he never really had a chance in life...
that he could never see another sunrise or sunset... that he loved Brian.
Brian knew that he loved Robby, but next to all the happiness that brought,
there was also a thought he couldn't ignore. He was gay, and he had to live
with that for the rest of his life. He knew he had to tell Nick the truth;
it was the right thing to do. But tell Kevin... and AJ... and the worst of
all Howie...
Brian could already see the scorn in their eyes, the hate, and the
rejection. He wasn't sure if that would kill him or give him a new life. He
wasn't even sure which choice would he prefer.
With his head still pressed against the glass, he could see the street on
his right, and a shape of a car that seemed to slow down when reaching the
house. Jumping up quickly, he stormed through the kitchen and the hallway,
and opening the front door, peered into the driveway. A cab pulled in
slowly, and Nick got out of the back seat, exchanging couple of words with
driver. His words were lost in the crash of thunder, but Brian didn't bother
to hear them. He had to use all of his strength to stop himself from running
towards Nick. Nick slammed the back door, and the cab pulled out slowly.
Running through the mud, Nick stumbled inside of the hallway, his clothes
and hair already soaked. Not paying attention to the rain dripping off every
piece of Nick's clothing, Brian hugged him as hard as he could, losing
himself in Nick's smell and comfort. Nick's presence by itself was so
calming that Brian forgot all of his problems and just relaxed.
When he finally pulled back, Colleen was standing next to them, and Brian
almost jumped, completely startled by her sudden appearance. However,
Colleen pushed the door shut, and smiled warmly at Nick's wet face extending
her hand:
"Hello, you must be Nick. I'm Colleen. Colleen Parotti."
Extending his hand, Nick seemed about to introduce himself properly, but
instead, he ended up blurting out something completely different:
"You're Jack Parottie's daughter. Mob boss' daughter."
Her grin disappeared, and she peered up at his face, her eyes suddenly
suspicious:
"Who told you that?"
Brian stood in between them blinking. He seemed on the verge of asking
something, but didn't seem to be able to form the words. Nick swallowed
hard, answering:
"The cab driver told me... he knew who the house used to belong to... so he
told me."
Brian finally formed a sentence:
"What? Daughter of who? What?"
Nick and Colleen both turned their eyes on him; Nick surprised and seemingly
confused, and Colleen tired, as if she was being forced to do a very
uncomfortable thing. Then a weak moan from the living room made them all
lose their train of thoughts. Brian was first to run inside of the room, his
heart pounding wildly. Nick followed, obviously still confused, and then
Colleen, her eyes studying blonde's back as if she could read it like a
book.
Dropping on his knees next to the couch, Brian looked up as Robby's face.
Robby's eyes were surrounded by black circles, and his lips were white like
bathroom tiles, but his smile was wide and sincere. Brian took his hand
slowly, and held it gently, as if it was a china doll that could break at
smallest squeeze. Robby's voice was quiet but clear:
"You're still here. I thought that... maybe you'd leave..."
Enveloping his hand with both of his, Brian felt tears well up in his eyes.
Robby looked so helpless, so alone and scared... he wanted to tell him that
he'll never leave. That he will take care of him forever. But words were
stuck in his throat, and all he could do is stare at Robby. When he finally
spoke, his voice was quieter that Robby's:
"I had to know you were alright."
"Would anyone care to tell me what the hell is going on?"
Nick stood across from the bed, and stared at Robby suspiciously, eyeing
Colleen in the same time, as if expecting her to pull out a gun or her whole
mob family out of her pocket at any minute.
Brian took a deep breath and straightened, letting go of Robby's hand:
"Nick... this is Robby. He saved my life that night when Kevin and AJ found
me on the roof. And he saved my life at the attack in the club... Robby...
this is Nick... but I'm guessing you already know who he is..."
Robby just nodded, his eyes expressionless for a second, then cold as ice.
So cold that Brian shivered. He knew that coldness in Robby's eyes... he had
seen it before. Only this time, Brian thought that he knew where the
coldness came from.
Nick nodded towards Robby:
"It's nice to meet you. That still doesn't explain anything. Why would he
save you? And how? And what are you doing here? How does a daughter of a mob
boss get involved in this? Brian... I really hope there is a good
explanation for all this."
"There is... it's just..."
Brian looked at Robby helplessly, not knowing what to say.
Throwing his blanket off and grimacing, Robby slowly sat up in the couch.
Brian jumped to help him, but Robby gently pushed Brian's hands away and
looked up at his face:
"Tell him. He deserves to know."
His voice was emotionless and his eyes still cold. Looking over to Colleen,
he pretended not to see the open disapproval in her eyes:
"They have a lot to talk about. Could you help me to my room?"
Supporting him, Colleen helped him walk out of the room and up the stairs.
Both Nick and Brian were quiet until they heard the opening and closing of
the door above. Then Brian rubbed his forehead as if not knowing where to
start. Motioning for Nick to sit down where Robby was laying couple of
seconds ago, Brian cleared his throat and started:
"I was standing on the roof, and it was raining..."

   Robby was more than grateful for Colleen's help while climbing up the
stairs. Once the door behind them closed, she helped him lay down on the bed
and made his pillows hold his head up in half-sitting position. He could
barely remember the last time he was in that room. His life as a human
always seemed so distant and full of pain that he tried to erase it from his
memory. Colleen was the only thing that never brought up painful memories.
Crazy memories, and some embarrassing ones, but never painful. Colleen was
the one thing that was always there for him no matter what.
Colleen was home.
Looking around the room, he realized that nothing had been moved from the
last time he was there. The window shades were still tightly pulled over the
thick window glass, paintings and drawings still hung from the night-sky
painted wall, and his old albums lay in piles all over the room just as he
had left them. Focusing back on Colleen, he smiled:
"I see you were expecting me."
Curling up on the couch next to his feet, she propped her head on the elbow
and grinned:
"I always expect you, Mr. Troublemaker. I never know when you're gonna knock
on my door with bullet holes in your body. I like being ready for it."
Touching his bandages slowly, he felt the strength flow wildly through his
veins. It shouldn't take him long to be back on his feet, and even less to
regain all of his strength. His voice seemed to be regaining its strength
too:
"Because I know you'll always bandage me or sow me back together."
They both laughed a little at that, but Robby could feel an unseen tension
in the room, and knew what was coming. Colleen stared at him, her face
growing serious:
"Why do you keep shutting him off?"
"Colleen, I don't wanna talk about this."
"Tough luck. Do you enjoy hurting both of you? You might not be human, but
you have feelings... why hide them from him?"
"Colleen, please."
"No, I'm not letting this go. You saved his life twice, and he saw your face
both times... you would have never allowed that to happen unless there is a
reason for it. You love him."
"Colleen..."
"You love him, don't you?"
"Colleen!"
"Answer me goddamnit!! Do you love him?!!"
"Yes!!... I love him!! Of course I love him!! I'd die million times to save
him the smallest pain! I would give up my whole eternity if I could just
hold him in my hands once!... just once..."
Taking a deep breath, Robby closed his eyes. God, if he could just touch
Brian once more... if he could just kiss him, he'd be happy to die
afterwards. If only... if only Brian didn't belong to someone else. He was
so stupid to believe differently. What happened at his house was an
accident... his imagination. Brian's nerves were tight and Robby had yelled,
and Brian simply started crying. That was all there is to it. He probably
had imagined that almost kiss accident... Brian would probably hate him
forever if he found out about it. He had said it himself. He loves Nick. And
Nick was there, under the same roof, probably so he could take Brian back.
So Robby would never see him again.
He felt the tears well up in his eyes, and rubbed them furiously. Crying
like a stupid kid... over a human. Stupid... stupid... But tears kept
coming, and he buried his head in his hands, hoping he could stop himself
from weeping out loud.
He felt Colleen straighten up, and wrap her hands around him, rocking him
back and forth like a child. It was too much to take... too much. His
weeping came out harsh and heavy, while he soaked Colleen's shirt in salty
tears. It had been so long since he had allowed himself to cry openly that
it seemed like an endless flood... everything he had been keeping inside
during his years as a ruthless vampire came out, and he weeped like a
helpless child. Child that had lost everything and everyone he ever loved.
He weeped for his death, his parents, his sister and brothers, small girl
with black hair that was ruthlessly killed, and Brian... one thing that made
his immortal life meaningful. Thing that he lost, while he never really had
it.
Colleen smoothed his hair slowly and whispered in his ear:
"Talk to him."
"I can't... it's pointless..."
"Robby, please... trust me... do it for me... just talk to him."
"I can't... it hurts. God, it hurts..."
"Please... please Robby..."
He didn't answer.
They stayed like that, hugged, while she rocked him back and forth while he
cried. He lost sense of time... it could have been minutes, hours... days.
He thought that tears would never stop flowing.

   The knock on the door made him jump, and rub his eyes quickly, although
that didn't make his face any more presentable. Colleen straightened,
letting him go:
"Come in."
The door opened slowly, and Brian pushed his head inside:
"I was looking for you guys... Nick is still down stairs, he needs some time
to take all this in..."
His eyes fell on Robby and instantly widened in fear:
"Robby? What's wrong? Are you OK?"
Colleen stood up from the bed straightening her shirt:
"He's OK. He needs to talk to you. I'm gonna go down stairs and take care of
Nick."
Robby squeezed his eyes shut at her words, but she wasn't looking at him.
Giving Brian a gentle smile, she moved past him and left the room, closing
the door behind her. Brian seemed to hesitate for a second, then he slowly
walked over to Robby's bed, and sat on the edge. Robby's eyes were still
shut and his head leaning against pillows. He wasn't strong enough for
this... he couldn't talk to Brian. He prayed that he wouldn't start crying
again.

   Brian stared at Robby. Robby's hair was spread against the pillows, like
golden threads glittering in pale darkness of the room. His face regained
some of its color, but his eyes were red and wet, his lips still pale. It
hurt so much to see him crying, to see him in pain. Brian felt his throat
tighten... all he wanted was to hug him... hold him forever. Kiss him and
wipe away his tears gently, whisper to him that he will never leave him, or
hurt him. He wanted to say all these things, but he couldn't find the words
or the strength to say them. So he just sat there, and stared at his
beautiful, hurt angel, unable to speak or move.
Robby opened his eyes slowly, and they were cold... they were so cold:
"So when are you and Nick leaving?"
Brian was taken aback by the question, and it took him couple of seconds to
gather his thoughts:
"Um... I don't know. We didn't really talk about that... I didn't want to
leave... I mean I wanted to stay and be sure that you're... OK."
"I'm fine... I'm sure Nick wouldn't want you to stay around here much
longer. You guys should leave."
Brian's chest grew heavy until he wasn't sure if he could breathe. He wanted
to cry, to scream, to shake Robby really hard. Swallowing hard, he tried to
keep his voice calm:
"You're not fine. You were crying."
"I said I'm fine."
His voice was sharp, and it cut Brian like a knife. Standing up, he felt
pain pour out of him like a wild river of words:
"Stop it! Stop it! Why are you doing this?! It hurts... You keep pushing me
away! Don't you understand?! I don't want to leave you!... ever!... ever...
I love you..."
Robby stared at him, his eyes wide, cold melting like a snow under a wild
fire. His words came out harsh and quiet:
"What? You love... no! You love Nick! I felt it, I felt it in you... You
don't... you couldn't possibly..."
Brian moved towards Robby so suddenly that they were both surprised by it.
Burying his hands in Robby's silky hair, he had just intended to shake him
really hard and make him understand... instead, he found himself staring
through the depths of his eyes... through the depths of Robby's soul that
was in so much pain... Pulling Robby's head up, Brian pressed his lips
against Robby's...
It seemed like a fire. A wild fire consuming every inch of his body, every
inch of his soul... he felt Robby melt against his chest, his resistance
fade away and his lips soften. Separating the blond boy's lips slowly, Brian
ran his tongue over them feeling Robby's breath quicken. Robby's hands
slowly trailed over Brian's back pulling him closer, until there was no
space between their bodies. He could feel the heat of Robby's body, the heat
of his mouth, their tongues already battling furiously... warm mist
spreading over his eyes... He trailed his hand across Robby's neck, and the
boy moaned into his mouth, his hand gripping Brian's hair as if he was
afraid that Brian might pull away. Brian lost himself in feel of Robby's
skin, and there was nothing but heat... the burning fire that threatened to
destroy him. He could feel blond boy's muscles and silky skin under his
hands, the beautifully designed chest that was pressed tightly against
Brian's... he let his hands wander over the skin of Robby's back, while
Robby's breath grew harsher and quicker.
Brian couldn't take it any more. He knew he had to stop, or he'd move too
soon... do something he would regret doing later. It was so hard... Robby
was moaning softly under his touch, and he would have done anything Brian
wanted him to. Brian wanted him... wanted him so much it hurt... but it was
too soon. He wanted it to be special... to be worthy of Robby's beauty.
Pulling away slowly, he looked into Robby's eyes. His eyes were misty, wide,
no trace of cold... an open door to everything he felt. Brian slowly pulled
his fingers across the blond boy's cheek. Robby caught his hand and pressed
a soft kiss on it. His voice was quiet, cracked:
"I love you... God help me, I love you so much that it scares me..."
"I love you too... I'll never leave you..."
Wiping Robby's cheeks gently, he whispered softly:
"I'll never let anything hurt you again... ever..."

   Nick kept cracking his fingers nervously. Colleen was sitting across from
him and studying him carefully. He felt as if he was being examined from
head to toe, and wasn't sure if it made him feel uncomfortable or exactly
the opposite. Clearing his throat, he threw out exactly what was crossing
his mind at the moment:
"So Robby is a vampire who saved Brian's life more than once, and Brian is
in love with him."
It still seemed like a fairy tale. No matter how many times he repeated that
sentence, it still sounded absolutely ridiculous. Colleen smiled:
"That's probably a lot to take in at once."
He stared at her:
"You think?"
She was pretty... very pretty. Nick had to make himself stop staring. His
mind seemed nonfunctional, struggling to accept all the information he
received in the last half an hour. But harder he thought about it, more it
seemed like a nightmare:
"I don't think my brain cells are capable of digesting this."
She laughed at that; a bright, cheerful laugh that sounded like crashing of
waves in late summer. Nick swallowed hard, watching her laugh. It would have
been a lot easier if he could somehow shut his eyes and imagine she's a
50-year old grandma with skin problem and no teeth. It just had to be his
luck that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen; and also a
beautiful thing that was almost twice his age. But that's not what he was
supposed to be thinking of. He was supposed to be thinking of Brian being in
love with a vampire... Sighing, he dropped his head on a table with a smack
and then instantly wished he hit it hard enough to be knocked out. Why
couldn't his life be easy? Just this once?
Colleen was still laughing:
"You shouldn't do that. Your head is too pretty to be damaged."
He felt himself blush from head to toe, and decided that it would be safer
if he left his head where it was. He really had no choice. It was either
accept Brian and his decisions, or abandon him, and the latter was something
Nick wouldn't do even if his life depended on it. Sighing, and deciding that
his face was perhaps less red, he picked his head up:
"Can I use your phone?"

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Robby kept pacing up and down the room, with his hands buried deep in his
pockets. Brian was sitting on his bed, and his eyes followed Robby while
glittering in amusement. Robby couldn't stop pacing. He was nervous, and his
stomach hurt, and he felt like virgin on her wedding night. Thousands of
thoughts kept flashing through his head, and only 10% of them were
comforting. Brian was smiling absently, his eyes never leaving Robby:
"Don't worry... they'll like you. Besides, since you changed your shirt five
times, and brushed your hair in fifty different ways, I'm sure your
appearance won't turn them off."
Robby stopped suddenly and looked at Brian with a desperate look in his
eyes:
"No, but me being vampire might! This is wrong... I should have never agreed
to this. Of course they're going to hate me, I turned their best friend
gay."
The smile quickly disappeared from Brian's face, and he frowned at Robby:
"You didn't turn me gay... I have always been gay. You just helped me
realize it."
Sighing, Robby dropped on the bed next to Brian. He loved Brian so much that
it hurt... he would give his life for him. But his friends will never
understand that, they will never accept it, and the only thing resulting
from the relationship with him and Brian, will probably be endless pain on
Brian's part. Taking Brian's hand gently, Robby tried to smile:
"You know, you don't really have to do this. They don't have to know... you
are putting yourself through too much pain..."
Brian shushed him, gently placing his fingers on Robby's lips:
"I would be putting myself through too much pain if I couldn't be with you.
They have to know, and whether they accept it or not, we will stay
together."
The door behind them squeaked, and Colleen pushed her head in:
"C'mon guys, Nick is waiting downstairs. It's time to go."
Then she was gone.
Brian was first to get up, and still holding Robby's hand, dragged him from
the bed. Closing the door behind them, Robby paused:
"Tell me you like my hair, or I'm gonna have to go back in and never come
out again."
"I like your hair. It's great. You're great. I'm great."
Grinning at Brian, squeezed his hand:
"Well, who sounds nervous now?"
Brian frowned looking at him:
"It has nothing to do with that... well maybe a little, but..."
He seemed to be hesitating, and now it was Robby's turn to frown:
"But?"
Brian started to look very uncomfortable:
"It's just... well, I didn't think that you would actually care what you
look like that much... being a vampire and all. I mean vampire brushing his
hair in fifty different ways? Doesn't that seem just a little... out there."
Robby laughed loudly, but with no scorn:
"I'm not Dracula Brian. I don't sleep in coffins and wear red cape... my
hair never grows, unless I cut it... then it grows back to the length it was
when I died, and that happens during the day, when I sleep."
How Brian was still looking blankly, as if he doesn't understand, Robby
squeezed his hand again:
"There is a lot you don't know... and a lot we have to talk about, but since
you asked, I usually never care that much what my appearance is like. Now I
do because I'm self-conscious... and the reason for that is that I love
you... and I don't want to disappoint you."
The last words were spoken in whisper, because they had reached the hallway
where Nick was waiting for them.
As they were easing themselves into the uncomfortable cab seats, Colleen
stood at the doorway and waved, giving them an encouraging smile. When the
cab pulled out, Robby squeezed Brian's hand tighter and closed his eyes,
wishing he was alive.

There we go. What'cha think? I accept all the comments, good or bad.
Write me