Warning: This is a fictional story, describing erotic relations
between consenting adult men. If this makes you uncomfortable, or if it is
illegal for you to read something like this, then go find something else to do.
The following story is entirely a work of fiction, and is not intended to imply anything about any real people. All of the characters in the story are fictional, and must not be confused with any real people. The characters in this story may have the same names as some real people, but the characters are in no way supposed to actually represent any real people.
Permission is hereby granted for this story to be distributed solely by the Nifty Archive: http://www.nifty.org/. You may of course keep a copy for your own use, but you may not redistribute it.
Before this chapter starts, I'd like to take a moment to thank those of you who have taken the time to express their appreciation of the story to me. Your comments have been uniformly kind, and have made writing this much easier. I'd also like to thank two special friends for their help and encouragement. Please feel free to send me any comments you may have.
"Are you ready?" Matt asked as he came out of the bathroom.
"No. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for this." Nick was sitting on the bed. He was dressed, and looked like he was ready to go. "Do we really have to tell them about us?"
"Changing your mind?" Matt sat on the bed beside him. "No, we don't have to tell them if you don't want to. However, we do need to get to dinner before Brian calls again, or sends Kevin after you. And we do need to tell them something."
Nick didn't look very happy. "You're no help. You're supposed to tell me that we do have to tell them."
"Sorry. I do think we should tell them, but like I said before, it isn't my decision. We talked about this before. Do you want to do something different?"
Nick sighed. "No, I guess not. I don't know what else we can do."
Matt stood. He grabbed Nick's hands and said, "Come on. Let's go. If I have to sit here on the bed with you for much longer, we'll never get out of the room."
Nick giggled, and allowed himself to be pulled up. "How do you do that?"
"You always know what to say to make me feel better."
"Just wait until we get back from dinner. I'll make you feel much, much better!"
Nick laughed. They walked arm in arm over to the door, then released each other. They were careful in the elevator and hallway not to touch each other, or even look at each other. They both knew that the risk to everyone's career was simply too high. It didn't take long before they made it to Brian's door.
"Ready?" Matt asked.
Nick nodded. Matt knocked on the door. Shortly, Brian opened the door. "Hi guys. It's about time you got here. Come on in."
Nick entered the room first, followed by Matt. The guys were watching as they entered. Nick immediately went over to Brian and gave him a hug. Quietly, so that only Brian could hear, he said "Thank you for bringing Matt to me, and for understanding."
Brian looked a bit embarrassed. "It's okay Nick" he said.
"Hi Matt" Kevin said. "I didn't know you were here. Why didn't Joey say something when I talked to him today?"
Matt was watching Brian and Nick. He turned towards Kevin and said "Hi guys. It was sort of an unplanned trip. Joey knows I'm here though. I asked him not to tell anyone, which is probably why he didn't tell you Kevin."
"Oh" Kevin said. "I thought he sounded evasive on the phone."
"Hey Nick, are you okay?" AJ asked.
Matt looked back at Nick. He looked really uncomfortable. He walked over and stood close to Matt, and avoided everyone's gaze.
"Nick?" Matt said. Nick looked at Matt. "Did you hear AJ?"
"Oh. Yeah, I'm okay now AJ, thanks to Brian and Matt." Nick kept looking at Matt, trying to avoid looking towards the other guys.
"What happened?" Kevin asked. "You were even worse this time than you were when we left LA. I know Brian was really worried, even if he wouldn't tell me what was going on. Now suddenly, you're okay."
Nick stood there, uncertain how to respond. Somehow, this just wasn't working the way they'd planned. They had hoped to put this off until after dinner, when everyone was a bit more comfortable. Nick looked at Matt, trying to figure out how to respond.
"Don't push Kevin. Nick will tell you when he's ready." Brian said.
"It might be easier to just get it over with now," Matt said, as he held Nick's gaze.
Nick really seemed to be torn. They stood there for a moment, then Nick sighed. He moved closer to Matt, and said "I guess."
Nick turned to face the rest of the guys. "I've got something to tell you. It's hard to say, but we think we need to tell you. I just hope you won't all hate me."
"Hate you?" Howie said. "Why would we suddenly hate you?"
"Howie," Brian interrupted. "Just let him tell you. Don't make it harder."
Nick gave Brian a grateful smile. "I...Matt and I...Shit. I don't know how to say this."
Matt giggled. "Just say it silly."
Nick was startled, and turned to look at Matt. He smiled at Matt, looked into his eyes and said "Matt and I are in love."
There was silence. Nick hugged Matt. Brian was carefully watching the other guys for their reaction.
The silence was suddenly broken, as Howie jumped to his feet. "You're what? You can't be in love with him! How can you suddenly be a stupid fairy?"
Nick's reaction was immediate. He cringed, and looked like he wanted to run away again. Matt turned toward Howie, placing himself between Howie and Nick. Nick wrapped his arms around Matt, and hid his face on Matt's shoulder.
"There's nothing sudden about it. And that's not a nice thing to say about your friend. He's not a fairy. He's entitled to your respect."
Howie's attention moved from Nick to Matt. There was anger in his expression. "Don't talk to me you faggot. You're the cause of all of this crap. If you hadn't come along, none of this would have ever happened."
"And Nick would have been unhappy and alone. Just the way he's been unhappy and alone all these years."
"He wasn't alone." AJ said.
"Sure he was. He's been hiding himself from all of you for years, afraid that you wouldn't accept him as he really was."
"Would have reacted just the way you're reacting now. He was so convinced that you'd all hate him, he almost killed himself a couple of days ago."
"What?" Kevin said. "Is that true Nick?"
Nick was still hiding behind Matt, tears streaming down his face. He didn't say anything, but he nodded slowly.
Brian spoke up. "I was afraid he was going to kill himself. That's why..."
"That's why you were watching him so carefully." Kevin finished. He collapsed back into his chair.
Matt turned to look at AJ and Howie again. "Nick was alone. He's not alone anymore. He's got me now."
"But why? What would make you decide you wanted to be gay?" AJ asked.
Matt shook his head. "Sorry AJ, but that's the dumbest question there is. No sane person would ever choose to be gay in this society. There's no choice. You just are."
"Let me ask you this. When did you decide you liked girls and not boys?"
"I...uh...I never did. I just liked girls."
"Exactly. I never had any choice, even though I tried to pretend otherwise. I've spent the last four or five years pretending that I didn't have any sexual needs, because I didn't want to be gay. It isn't something that anyone chooses."
Nick sniffed. "I never had a choice. I tried with girls, but it didn't work. I spent months asking God to make me 'normal'. It took a long time before I realized that if he did that, I wouldn't be me."
Brian looked surprised. He watched Nick very carefully for a moment, then slowly sat on the bed.
There was a long period of silence, then Kevin spoke up. "This'll be a disaster if anyone hears about it. It'll mean the end of our careers."
"We know" Matt said. "We've been very careful."
"You'll have to be. Nobody can ever know about this. Nobody. Who knows besides us?"
"Damn it. You've got to tell him to keep this a secret Matt. He can't tell anyone. If it..."
"He knows" Matt said. "He wouldn't ever tell anyone. He wouldn't do that to me."
"Are you sure? I know you're pretty close now, but..."
"I trust him Kevin. I don't know what else I can say. He wouldn't betray me."
"And is he okay with it? With you being gay I mean."
"I don't know. I haven't been able to talk to him about that yet. Somehow, that isn't something I want to discuss on the phone. I'm sure he'll be cool once I talk to him though."
"Who cares what happens with Joey and Matt?" Howie said. "Nick can't be gay. He must be confused or Matt has forced him or something. It's vile, disgusting. It is a crime against nature, and a sin."
"Stop!" Brian jumped to his feet, and took a few steps toward Howie. "How dare you say it's a sin. What makes you such an expert all of a sudden? I may not know a lot about this, but I do know that they're really in love. Look at them. Any fool can see that."
"But..." Howie said.
"But nothing. I can't look at them and condemn them for loving each other. That's what God is all about. Sure, the bible says something about sex between men, but it says a whole lot more about love. God is all about love. If he's decided that Nick and Matt should love each other, then who the hell are you to judge that it's wrong?"
Brian paused for a moment, gathering his breath, then he continued. "Just look at them. Nick was afraid to tell you, and he was right. You just started attacking him for no reason. He's the same guy that's been your friend. He's the same guy who has spent pretty much every day with us since we got together as a group. Look at them. Nick is hiding behind Matt, because he's afraid of you. Look at them."
"You look at them. I'm leaving." Howie walked over to the door. As he passed, Matt carefully moved so that he was always between Howie and Nick. Howie left the room, without looking back.
AJ quickly followed. He was clearly upset. Matt watched him carefully as he left.
"Make sure nobody tells anyone about this." Kevin said, as AJ slammed the door.
Matt and Nick turned to look at Kevin.
Brian said softly, "Did you really ask God to make you straight?"
Nick nodded. "Every day, for months. It took me a long time to realize that he couldn't. Not without killing me."
"And you've been terrified to tell me, all these years?"
"I'm sorry Nick. If I'd have known..."
"If we'd all been able to talk about it, we all could have spared Nick a lot of grief." Matt said.
Kevin got up, and walked over to Nick and Matt. Matt watched him carefully, trying to decide whether he was going to cause trouble or not. Seeing this, Kevin looked at Matt. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt Nick."
Matt relaxed a bit, and Nick let go as Kevin got close. "You really love him?" Kevin asked Nick.
"Yes. I really do."
"You'll both be really careful to keep this a secret? If it got out, we'd all be in trouble."
"Yeah, we know that" Matt said.
Kevin hugged Nick. "I'm glad you're happy Nick. Really." Nick was surprised, but he returned the hug. Kevin rarely touched him, and never hugged him.
Then Kevin turned to Matt and gave him a hug too. "You better be good to him, or you'll have to answer to me." Kevin told Matt.
Matt smiled. "Always."
"Okay then, let's order something to eat. I'm famished."
"Me too" Matt said.
"Really? I'd have thought you'd still be full from that huge breakfast you ordered." Brian said.
"But that was hours ago!" Nick said. Everyone laughed.
"Let me find the room service menu." Brian said. "Why don't you all have a seat."
Kevin returned to the chair he was sitting before. Nick and Matt sat on the couch. Brian found the menu, and brought it over to the group. He sat in the other chair. "So, what does everyone want?"
"Steak" Nick said. "A big one."
"Yeah, that would be good" Matt said. "And coffee. Coffee for Nick too."
"Huh? Why?" Nick said.
"So you don't fall asleep on me again tonight, silly."
"Oh." Nick's smile vanished. "I didn't mean to do that last night Matt, it's just..."
Matt stopped him with a kiss. "It's okay Nick. I know you were exhausted. I just don't want it to happen tonight." Nick giggled quietly, then kissed Matt.
Had Matt and Nick been looking, they'd have seen Brian and Kevin's obvious embarrassment. Both looked like they wanted to be somewhere else at the moment. However, Matt and Nick were lost in each other.
Kevin looked at Brian, trying to avoid seeing the couple on the couch. "A nice steak would be good. It's been a while since I had a good steak."
Brian consulted the menu. "Yeah, that would be good. They've got New York Sirloin on the menu. How's that?"
"That's fine with me." Kevin said. He glanced at Nick and Matt. They were still kissing. "Hey Nick! Did you hear that?"
Nick broke the kiss, and looked at Kevin. "What?"
"New York Sirloin?"
"Okay. Matt will have one too. Medium rare, with a baked potato."
Kevin looked at Matt. Matt smiled, and nodded. Kevin shook his head, and turned to Brian. "Got that? It seems like they've got a psychic connection or something."
"It's just what I ordered the night we met." Matt said.
"At 'Tony's Place'." Nick said. "It was a great restaurant. We'll have to go back there next time we're in LA. That's where I fell in love with Matt."
"I think I fell in love with you that night too." Matt smiled. "I was just too dumb to know it."
Kevin shook his head. "Guys, do you have to be so..."
"Sappy?" Brian said. They laughed. "I think it's cool. I'm
glad you're so happy, even if you are uncomfortable to be around. Let me go and
order the food."
The door to Brian's room slammed behind AJ. He looked down the hallway, and saw Howie walking toward the elevator. "Hey, wait up" he said, as he trotted after Howie.
As AJ got there, the elevator door opened, and Howie stepped into the elevator. He held the door for AJ, then pressed the button for the lobby. "I need a drink" Howie said.
"Me too. Man, that's weird. How the hell are we supposed to react?"
The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. A couple got onto the elevator, and they resumed their trip down to the lobby in silence. Once there, they headed for the bar. They hadn't been in here before, but it was a typical hotel bar. There was a piano on a small stage, but nobody was playing it at the moment. The bar was quiet, and fairly empty. They found a dark, quiet table in the corner and sat down.
"I can't believe that." AJ said. "After all these years, you'd think we'd have known."
Howie didn't say anything, he just shook his head. A waitress appeared and took their order. Howie watched her as she left to get the drinks. He watched her in silence, as she waited for the bartender to pour the drinks. He continued to watch as she returned with the drinks, put them on the table and walked away.
"Hey man, are you just going to sit there?" AJ said. "Say something."
"Sorry" Howie said. "It is all too weird."
"Yeah. How are we supposed to act with Nick now? I mean, we have to share a dressing room sometimes."
"I don't know."
"Man, I don't want to break up the band, but I don't know if I can stand this. It is just too strange."
Howie didn't say anything. He just stared at the empty glass in his hand. In
the dark bar, AJ didn't see the tears in his eyes.
There was a knock on the door. Brian jumped up, and went to answer it. They all watched as the bellhop wheeled in a cart with their dinner. All of the guys got up and went over to help get it all setup. It didn't take long before they were all seated around the table.
There were murmurs of appreciation, as each of them tried their steak. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Then Kevin said "So Matt, how long are you going to be here?"
Matt looked at him, and said "Until Saturday. My flight leaves around noon on Saturday."
"That's good. I'm glad you're going to be here for a few more days."
"So, what's the schedule Kevin?" Matt asked.
"Nothing too strenuous. We've got an interview tomorrow, followed by a visit at one of the local hospitals. There's a photo shoot on Thursday. I was planning on spending some time working on those new songs, but that can wait."
"What?" Nick said. "You're not going to make me work? Who are you, and what did you do with our Kevin?"
They all laughed. "I think you need to spend some time with Matt. We'll worry about the songs later. I'm glad Matt is staying for a few more days."
"Oh" Nick said. He looked surprised that Kevin understood.
"Nick, you've been through a lot. I know that, even if I didn't know what was going on. I think you probably need some time to recover. So, you should spend all the time you can with Matt."
"What about AJ and Howie?"
"Well, I guess we'll have to work through it all with them."
"Maybe they'll be better once the surprise has worn off" Brian said.
"I hope so" Nick said. "I don't want them to quit."
"What?" Kevin said. "I doubt they'd ever want to quit the band."
"But, if they can't stand me..."
"Was that what you were worried about?" Brian said.
Nick nodded. Matt could see the old fears resurfacing. He reached over and covered Nick's hand with his own. Nick looked at Matt, and smiled.
"That was one of the things" Matt said. "He was afraid he'd lose you, his career, and his family if anyone ever found out he was gay."
"Well, that's not going to happen Nick" Kevin said. He sounded very definite. "So long as you and Matt are discrete, the public won't find out. I'm sure Howie and AJ will come around. You're not going to lose Brian or I either."
"Yeah man, you're stuck with us" Brian said.
Matt squeezed Nick's hand. "What did I tell you? You've got good friends."
Nick smiled. "Yeah, I do."
Kevin pushed his chair back, and said "Well, enough of that mushy stuff." He got up, walked over and sat in the chair he used before dinner. "That was a good steak."
The rest of them got up, and returned to the couch and chairs. Brian took the one chair, while Matt and Nick curled up on the couch together.
Nick said "Matt had a good idea for some extra publicity this afternoon. When he was talking with the producer for 'Boy Meets World', he asked if we could do another show."
"Actually, that's not quite the way it happened" Matt laughed. "But, they would like you to do an episode if we can work that out."
"That sounds like a good idea" Kevin said. "It would generate a bit more publicity, and that's never bad."
"I actually asked if they could write parts for you in the show, rather than just playing yourselves, or singing a song. That is, if you guys what to do that."
"Sounds like fun" Brian said. "I'm tired of those silly situations they normally do."
"Well, I guess we'll have to figure out if we can arrange the schedule to make this happen. You must be close to wrapping it up for the season aren't you Matt?"
Matt nodded. "We've only got two episodes left."
"That's not a lot of time. Do you know the schedule?"
"Not really. Maybe it would be better if you talked with Trish directly. You don't need me to get in the middle of things."
"That sounds like a good idea." Kevin said.
Matt wrote the number for the producer's office on a piece of paper and handed it to Kevin. "Trish will be the one that answers the phone. She's expecting me to call her tomorrow, so I'll do that and let her know that you'll be calling to set this all up."
"Okay. You can give her my number, and we'll see what we can arrange."
Matt and Nick spent the rest of the evening talking with Brian and Kevin. They explained as best as they could, the emotional turmoil that Nick had gone through. It was hard to make this really clear, as Brian and Kevin had never been through something similar. Nick found that he was really surprised. He felt closer and more comfortable with them, now that he didn't have to worry about what he said. It felt so much better to know that Brian and Kevin accepted him. He could finally accept their friendship for himself. Before, he'd always felt that they were friends with the guy he pretended to be, rather than with the real Nick.
Matt found the conversation very interesting as well. This was really his first opportunity to get to know Kevin, aside from what Joey had said. He understood why Joey got along with Kevin now. He really was nice, although he seemed to be too worried about how everyone else was doing. Maybe it was just because he was the oldest in the group, but it was clear to Matt at least, that Kevin really felt the burden of looking out for all of the guys. This was something he was going to talk to Nick about when he got the opportunity. Matt knew that Nick really cared about Kevin, but he wasn't sure that Nick knew how hard Kevin was working for their success. It would be good for Kevin if someone could help him out.
Matt also learned a lot more about Brian. Nick talked about Brian all the time, but that was different from getting to know him personally. Sure, Matt had talked with Brian before, but there had always been that barrier between them. Now that Brian knew about him and Nick, he could get to really know the friend that Brian was. Matt hoped that over time, he'd be able to be Brian's friend as well.
It was quite late when all that coffee caught up with Nick. When he returned from the bathroom, he sat on Matt's lap instead of on the couch beside him.
"Hey! You're too big!" Matt said. "Get off me." Matt was smiling, and Nick knew he was just joking around.
"I don't remember you complaining before" Nick said.
Well, Brian had chosen the wrong moment to take a drink of his water. He couldn't help himself, and he sprayed the water all over. That got all four of them laughing. When they finally got back under control, they decided it was time to head to their own rooms for the night. It had been a good evening, and they were all tired.