Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 19:16:34 -0700 (PDT)
From: Wesley Cook <wesleym2@yahoo.com>
Subject: Brian's Savior 5

Author's Note: Hello again. My life lately has had some downs. Before My
last installment I was told by doctors that I had a hole in my heart. And
that I would eventually need surgery. But just when I thought I couldn't go
any further I found the most loving and caring man. Words can not show how
much he means to me. I want to thank him and let him know that I love
him. He knows who he is. With his help he lifted my spirits and helped
through some very bad times. Well on Sept. 21 I had to go and have a check
up on my heart. The hole is completely gone. The doctors are shocked but I
believe It healed because I no longer had a broken heart. I want thank all
of you who sent me e-mails. Now if haven't read the stories Just Beginning,
When You Say Nothing At All, or NSYNC Love, then you need to they are very
good stories.

Legal Note: If you are offended by homosexual acts, or not old enough to
read this then leave. Other wise enjoy. Also This does not mean that any of
the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC are gay or BI.

All comments suggestions are welcome. You can reach me at
wesleym2@yahoo.com or at my ICQ #47618266.


I awoke to the sun shining in through the windows. I turned my head and saw
Brian still asleep. He looked like an angel laying there. I remembered the
events from the day before and became upset. I decided I need to get up and
take a walk to clear my head.  I was able to get up and dressed with out
waking Brian. I wrote a note and left it on my pillow. I grabbed my key and
wallet and headed out. Every one was still asleep. I got in the elevator
and pushed the button for the lobby. When I got to the lobby I left the
hotel. I had no idea where I was going but I really didn't care. I thought
about all the trouble I had been for every one but I also thought how they
all cared for me. I loved Brian and nothing could change that.

**The Hotel**

	Brian woke feeling I wasn't there. He opened his eyes and looked at
where I had slept. He saw the note and picked it up.

Dear Brian,
	I want to say that I love you and not to worry I have just gone for
a walk. I wanted you to sleep because we would be leaving pretty soon for
our next stop. I had to think over the things that have been happening
lately. It seems that every time we have something good happen something
bad pops up. Again I love you and I will be back.

							Love Forever,
							Mark When Brian had
finished reading the note he knew everything would be ok. He got up and
took a shower and then got dressed. When he finished he started packing our
stuff and get everything ready to be taken down stairs, I walked in. I had
been gone for about 3 hours. Brian smiled at me and gave me a kiss.

"Brian can we talk for a little while?"

"Sure what's up?"

"Well we need to set a date, and I was thinking sometime around Christmas."

"That sounds great, how about the 23rd?"

"That's good but what about management how are we going to get them to give
us the time off?"

"Well if they refuse to give us that time I will quit the group because
nothing will ever come between my love for you."

"Brian I don't want that, there has to be away to avoid that." I was almost
in tears.

"Don't worry Mark, we will figure something out, but you mean more to me
than anything in this world." I was happy but sad, Brian would sacrifice
something he has been a part of for years just for me. I got up and hugged
him. Then as usual something always interrupts the moment. This time it is
someone knocking at the door. I get up and answer the door.

"Hey, what's up Kevin?"

"Just checking to make sure everything is ready to go."

"Yea we are ready just talking."

"Oh well we have to leave in an hour so get down stairs."

"Okay dad" me and Brian said. We grabbed what we were taking on the bus
with us and headed to the lobby. We didn't show any kind of affection in
public because of Brian's career. But we knew it had to be this way. Kevin
was already down stairs waiting on the rest of the guys. We smiled at him
and he smiled back. But no words were spoken because we all knew that if
some said something he would start preaching about the other guys being
late. We waited for another 30 min. when all of them exited the elevators.

"Ok guys the bus is here so lets get loaded." I walked out and the bus was
large. But there had to be enough room for 12 people plus security and bus
drivers. We loaded and I sat down in the lounge. Brian sat in the front of
the bus. Once everyone was on the bus we were off. In the lounge there was
me, Justin, J.C., A.J., and Chris. Britney was laying down in her
bunk. Kevin, Brian, and Howie were sitting up front and Nick was asleep in
his bunk. Joey and Lance were also trying to sleep. In the lounge Chris sat
across from me and A.J. sat next to me. Justin and J.C. sat next to each
other next to Chris. Every one was watching t.v. except me and Chris. I was
reading and Chris just stared at me. If looks could kill I would have been
dead. I could feel his cold stare but tried to ignore it. But then you can
only take so much before you have to know why.

"Chris, what do you have against me?" I said still reading.

"I just don't trust you"

"Why,"

"Well you claim that you have never heard of us (the BSB and NSYNC) but you
seem to know more than you put on that you do."

"I really have told you all the truth. Are you thinking I'm using this to
get popularity? Or money?"

"That's exactly what I think. I think you knew that you had a heart problem
but didn't have the funds to correct it and I think you set up that event
at the Mall where you first met Brian." By now A.J., Justin, and J.C. was
listening to Me and Chris. They couldn't believe their ears.

"I have never or will ever use any one for fame or money. I love Brian with
all my heart and would gladly die to save his life."

"Would you leave the tour to save his career and his life as well so that
he can go on without worrying about being found out he was gay?" By now
Kevin and those in front of the bus were in the lounge to see what was
going on. Brian was hurt because what Chris was saying. I looked up at
Chris and answered him with truth.

"Yes I would Chris because I love Brian that much. If I was causing him
difficulty in his career and life I would leave so that he can be
successful." I had tears running down my face and so did Brian. Chris saw
that he was have some success in breaking me and Brian up.

"Well then I think you should look at Brian and see that you are causing
him pain." I looked at Brian and saw that he was crying. I didn't know why
but it seemed that Chris was telling the truth. I looked back at Chris and
replied.

"Your right I am causing Brian pain." I looked up and saw Howie with a
smile and even Joey had one. Kevin had anger in his and it was directed at
Chris. I turned to Kevin and spoke. "Kevin when we stop again I will be
leaving. I will not be the one who causes the groups to break up. I will
get a ride to the air port and return home where ever that is." I got up
and went to the bunk I was supposed to have and got in it. I could hear
every one arguing over the situation and that made it even more clear that
I was causing every one pain. Just then the one person that meant the most
to me dropped the bomb shell on everyone.

"If Mark leaves the tour," Brian said, "then I leave the Backstreet Boys. I
love him to much to let him go. I don't care if he has lack of funds for
his surgery or anything else.  Me and him built our relationship on trust
and friendship. When I was down he was there to pick me up. Hell he even
took a bullet to keep me from it. Mark has shown me nothing but love to me
and I for one feel like somebody when he is around." Then Nick spoke up.

"When I found out Mark and Brian was a couple I hurt Mark very badly but he
forgave me and he has helped me realize that even when Brian and him marry
Brian will all ways be there when I need him. Mark has been nothing but a
friend to me, a caring friend. I know that him and Brian are right for each
other. They help each other out when the other is down. When one is sick
the other is there by his side at all times. I know for a fact that Mark
never knew about his heart condition till lately because at first I didn't
trust so I had management do a full background check on him and you know
what it came back clean."  Every one was surprised by Nicks actions. Brian
gave him a hug. Then Britney told every one how she felt. She wanted me and
Brian together. Justin did the same. I finally had enough of the
fighting. I got up and entered the lounge area. I looked right at Brian.

"Brian, I have one question and that is, is our love worth it?" He looked
up at me and I knew the answer as well as the others.

"Yes Mark it is we have fought hell to stay together and I would fight the
devil himself to show every one how much I love you." Kevin, A.J., Nick,
Britney, Justin, J.C., and Lance all had smiles on their faces. The others
realized that they were wrong but it would take time to heal the wounds
they have created. Brian got up and came to and gave the most loving hug
and kiss ever. At least the fighting was over for now. The rest of the trip
to Boston was ok. Some of the guys slept and the others did other
things. Me and Brian we stayed together in the lounge. I had told Brian
about Justin and He agreed with me that I should help if I can. I kissed
Brian and went to find Justin. He was laying in his bunk crying. I touched
him and turned to see who it was.

"Mark why are you here?"

"I came to talk to you, why are you crying?"

"Well it just seems that if I go and try to reveal how I feel to J.C. he
won't accept me or the other guys won't. I saw how they treated you
earlier. They didn't have any feeling in their body."

"But who was it that did support me and Brian, J.C. did support us so I
really do think he may not react as bad as you think. Would you like for me
to talk to him"

"Would you, right now if I try I would just mess everything up."

"I will, but promise me that you calm down okay and get some rest." He
agreed and I got up and saw J.C. sitting up front with Kevin talking. I
easily made my way up to the front and sat down across from J.C.

"Hey Mark you ok?" Kevin asked

"Yeah just a little tired."

"Why don't you go lay down for a little while." He suggested I shook my
head and then looked at J.C.

"J.C. I wanted to ask you a question, if someone you knew had a crush on
you what you do?"

"Well I would be flattered and would want to know who it is."

"What if that person is a man?" J.C. was knocked back by the question but
he could see I was dead serious.

"Well, You know don't you..."

"Know what?" Kevin asked

"Yes J.C. I do but before I wasn't sure, please answer the question"

"Well it's the same answer. And Kevin I hope you don't hate me but..."

"Your gay, is that it well don't worry because if I said I had a problem
with it then I would have a problem with my self, I'm gay too." Me and
J.C. were shocked but then we all started laughing. After a few minutes we
quit and I had to finish what I started.

"J.C., the reason I asked you was because--" I was cut off by Justin.

"Was because I asked him to, Josh, I'm the one who has a crush on you." I
looked at J.C.  he was smiling.

"Justin thanks for telling me because the person who has been sending you
those flowers before each show was me." Justin was on cloud nine. He
couldn't be happier. He sat down next to J.C. and kissed him and
J.C. returned the kiss. I motioned for me Kevin to give them some
privacy. We got up and went to the lounge in the back. I sat down next to
Brian and Kevin sat across from us. It was just the three of us. We all
talked about things and Kevin came out to Brian and they hugged. Kevin told
us that he at the moment had feelings for any one.

	The next few months went by pretty fast. There had been some fights
but we got through them. But the traveling had gotten the better of me
because I had started to lose my strength. At times I just couldn't get out
of the bed. I had come down with an infection that was due to the fact that
my heart wasn't in very good shape. Kevin told management that they needed
to give us a break or else. They agreed and so at our stop at Denver, CO we
held a press conference letting the public know that after this stop the
tour will be put on hold due to personal and medical reasons. The tour
dates missed will be made up and that NSYNC and Britney Spears would
continue on a separate tour.  Everyone took it well as to be expected. Me
and Brian decided to go visit his parents and get my surgery
scheduled. They had it scheduled after the new year was over. We hadn't had
any trouble out of Leigh Ann, so we thought she had decided to leave us
alone or was threatened by some one. So we did. It was four days till
Thanks giving when the really bad thing happened, my heart. We had been at
Brian's parents house walking around the yard. Brian was showing me all the
things he remembered as kid growing up there. Jackie was also with us and
we all were enjoying the cool but warm day. Jackie had asked Brian to go
get me a jacket because I was shivering. He did. I was talking to her when
all of the sudden I passed out.

"Mark -- Mark" She called but couldn't get a response. "Brian!!!!" she
yelled "It's Mark!!!" When Brian came to see what was the matter he saw me
down on the ground.  Both Harold's came running to her. Brian was at my
side trying to get me to respond. But no luck. Harold SR. had gotten the
car ready and Brian had picked me up and carried me to the car and loaded
me. I was at the hospital in less than 30 min. They immediately took me in
and they checked my heart. It was the problem. Right then they had to do
surgery or I would die. Since Brian was my fiance he okayed it. My
mother was called but she wouldn't be able to get to the hospital till the
next day because the plane schedule kept her from it. The surgery took
about two hours. The doctor came out with a smile.

"Well I have god news Mark will pull through, but he will be very weak for
the next few weeks. I under stand you had the very same surgery so you know
what to for him. Right now he is resting in a private room. I would like
for some one to stay with him till he wakes. If every thing goes well he
will be out by this weekend." Brian was very happy.  But then was sad, I
was going to be here on thanks giving and not at his home with family.

"Brian, we will bring thanks giving to him. His mom will be here now we
have more reason to be thankful Mark will live." This brought a smile to
his face. The doctor showed them to my room. I was still out but at least
my heart beat was better. Brian stayed by my side the entire time I was
asleep. He wanted to be the first thing I saw. He stayed by my side when
ever I was down and he will when ever I am down. I was out for two
days. Mom had arrived and Jackie offered to let mom stay at her home. Mom
accepted the invitation. It was going on the third day when I finally woke
up.

"Brian, where are you?" As soon as I finished that statement he was up and
right next to me.

"I'm here babe, I'm right here." He knew I was scared, but he soon relieved
my fear.

"Where are my two mom's?" I asked he chuckled and pointed to the other side
of the room. Both were asleep.

"Mom, are you awake?" I asked and both of them jumped up and looked
around. They looked over at me and saw I was awake. Both of them walked
over and gave me a hug.

"It's good to see you awake Mark." Jackie said mom agreed.

"Well that may be good but I wanted to spend Thanksgiving in a house not a
hospital room." I said. They understood how I felt.

"Well you may not be able to have Thanksgiving at my house with your family
but you will have it. We are going to bring it here." That brought a smile
to my face. My family, new and old would be there. The rest of the day went
by very slowly. Every one was in and out. Brian had left only once but he
did return and he stayed by my side the rest of the time. There were
flowers and get well cards all over the place. Mostly from those of NSYNC,
Britney, and BSB. There were even some from Jive which did surprise me. But
the best one was the one Brian had got. It was a dozen roses with a little
teddy bear saying I Love You and Get Well Soon.

**Thanks Giving Day**

	I awoke to mouth watering smells. I opened my eyes and there in
front of me was a breakfast fit for a king. There was eggs, pancakes,
sausages, toast, milk, orange juice, and a rose. I looked around the room
and saw both Harold's, Jackie, Brian, and my mom.  I smiled and Brian came
over and gave me a kiss.

"Good morning hun."

"Good morning to you to." Every one said good morning and then we all
ate. Brian had to help me eat because there was just too much for me to eat
alone. Once we were done Jackie put everything to the side and we all just
talked. Brian was kind of jittery for some reason. But he was happy. When
the parade came on we all watched it. This year NSYNC was in it. They made
an announcement that really made me smile.

"Hey yall, well happy Thanks giving." J.C. said

"Right now we would like to say the a very good friend of ours is in the
hospital today because Monday afternoon, he collapsed in Brian Littrell's
front yard. He is a very good friend and he is the head body guard for the
BSB. The cause of this collapse was because a few months ago the doctors
found a hole in his heart. He is doing great now but he really needs your
prayers because he still has a long way to go. So Mark if your listening
this next song was a special request from someone special." They then sang
their new song with Gloria Estephan Music of My Heart. I looked over at
Brian and smiled. When they finished I had tears in my eyes because it was
so beautiful. I had mom shut the t.v.  off.

"Thank you Brian" He smiled. He then got up and came over to me.

"Mark, I know that our relationship has had its ups and downs. But we stuck
through it.  You asked me to marry and now I ask you, You are the one I
have dreamed of. Your love is unconditional, I want us to be together
forever, Mark will you marry me?" I looked in his eyes and only saw
love. The love he has always showed me.

"Yes Brian I will marry you, and I will always love you." With that he
placed the ring he had gotten for me on my hand and then he kissed
me. Leave it to a mother to break up a good thing.

"When is the date?" Jackie asked.

" We are going to be married on Dec. 23rd." Brian said.

"Have you gotten all the arrangements done?" I looked at Brian and smiled.

"Just about, Kevin is working on an invitation, Britney is arranging the
floral decorations, I have already gotten the place, and some of the
guests, the other guys are doing the rest."  Brian told his mother.

"Well who are your best men and grooms men?" My mom asked. Me and Brian
looked at each other and then looked at them.

"Well we know who we want but haven't asked them." I said.

"Who are they?" Harold SR. asked.

"Well, for me the guys of BSB and Harold JR." Brian said looking at his
brother who upon hearing his name and the question was really happy.

"And for me NSYNC." I said. Then Jackie jumped up and announced that they
had to go and get dinner finished and up here. Every one but Brian left. He
stayed next to me in a chair he had pulled next to my bed. "Brian do you
mind if I took a nap?"

"It's okay babe."

"Would take one with me?"

"Sure" I scooted over and he got up on the bed and laid down beside
me. Soon we were both asleep. It seemed that no sooner had we gotten asleep
we were being woke up by Jackie.

"Come guys you need to get up now." She said softly. I woke up and the
gently woke Brian.

"It's time to get up Brian." I said. He got up and stretched. And noticed
that everyone was smiling. Jackie had brought the food they had prepared up
to the hospital. Brian offered to say grace.

"Our dear heavenly Father, Thank you for this wonderful year. Thank you for
my family and a new addition Mark. Thank you for protecting him through
this ordeal he has been through and see him safely through it so
far. Please use this food to nourish our bodies so that we can serve you in
the way you want us. In Jesus Christ's name we ask Amen."

"Amen" was said by all. Jackie had started with fixing plates and my mom
got the drinks for every one. Jackie gave me a plate first and gave me a
kiss on the fore head. I smiled and thanked her. Soon every one had their
plate and was eating dinner. We talked about many different things. The
wedding, the tour and other stuff. When every thing was finished everyone
left except for Brian. It was getting late and we were both tired. Soon we
were asleep.

	I awoke the next morning ready to leave the hospital. The doctor
hadn't been in yet so I needed to get Brian up before he did. I gave him a
kiss to wake him. And wake him it did. He slowly opened his eyes and looked
at me.

"Now that is a way to wake up." He said and smiled at me.

"Brian today is Friday and if I'm to get out of here you need to get up
before the doctor comes in."

"Okay I understand," He kissed me and got up. After he got up he headed for
the bathroom. After about five minutes he returned and sat down beside
me. We waited for the doctor to come and check on me. Out of the whole
ordeal I think the thing that was the worst was always waiting on the
doctor. Me and Brian waited for three hours before the doc decided it was
time to see me.

"Good morning Mark, how are you feeling this morning?" The doctor asked.

"I'm fine and ready to go home."

"Well from the looks of your statistics you are ready to go, now you need
to get enough rest and eat right. Don't over do it. Your heart will be very
weak and it will take time to regain some of the strength you had. You
won't regain all of it but most of it. Now I understand that your job was
bodyguard, well that is out of the picture, you can't under any
circumstance be that. Also don't over exert your self in any kind of
actions. But other than that then you can go home. Here are the papers and
prescriptions you will need. And have a good day." With that he left. I
looked over at Brian with a worry look.

"Mark we will change your job title to personal assistant. So don't worry
about it. Now lets get you dressed and head to my mom's house." He did just
that. With in two hours of being checked out of the hospital I was sitting
in the living room of Brian's parents house. I was a little tired but it
sure was nice to get out of that hospital. That night me and Brian slept
together on his bed. He held me close like he was protecting me. No one
ever came as close to me as Brian has. He has been there for me when the
chips have been down. There are no words to express how I feel about
Brian. The words I love you don't even come close. He was my hero and I was
his little warrior. Brian was like a teddy bear all cuddly and soft. We
loved each other. And nothing would change that.

To Be Continued...

The next part may not be out for a while so please be patient. Thank you