This story is fictional and not meant to imply anything about the true sexual nature of any member of the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. If you are under the age of 18, offended by homosexual material, or it is illegal to view in your area, you must leave now.
Notice of copyright
Copyright 1999 Mark Johnson, all rights reserved. This story may not be altered or reproduced in any way, without express written permission from the author, except for personal, non-commercial use. Permission to reproduce and electronically publish is granted to Nifty Erotic Stories Archive and its worldwide mirror sites. Permission may be requested from the author by emailing WWJustNDo@aol.com.
NSYNC, Backstreet Boys and B-Rok, Britney Spears, and LFO are registered trademarks and property of their respective owners; and
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Thanks for giving my story a chance, I know that there are a lot of stories being posted on the Nifty Archive™.
Please email all comments to WWJustNDo@aol.com.
For all of the readers of BSB Stays N Sync the story has been stopped, I received little response from people after the first story. Also, the story line wasnt working for me, so I decided to start all over! Sorry!
Also, I realize my last story lacked detail, depth and length. I hope to be able to spend more time on each and make them a lot better! Thanks for the continuing support.
bsb and n sync
CHAPTER 1: A TEST OF FRIENDSHIP
"True friendship is love with understanding." -- Author Unknown
It was a day filled with new possibility, with hope. A day that could change lives forever. Fear and concern, but also overwhelming hope was felt as the past was thrown away with the future at hand. It was the first day of the rest of his life. The day could have an infinity of outcomes, his fantasies birthed or his nightmares unleashedor both. Either way, it was a day he had thought about for a good part of the past 5 years, and something that had taken complete control of his mind for the last several weeks. It had to be released, or he would explode.
Brian lay in bed crying. Few days had welcomed him with anything else, only sadness and self-pity. But today, something else was also present, hope. This hope gave him cause and pushed him forward. He slowly got out of bed, stretching. He rubbed the tears from his eyes and stood up. Today would be different; today would be better.
Only in boxers, Brian scratched his bear chest. He had gotten little rest over the past few weeks and yawned sleepily. His life was too hectica European tour just ending, filming a new music video, and today meeting their American Tour co-headliners. He couldnt change any of that though. It was part of being a Backstreet Boy. He had finally mustered up enough courage to change the one thing he could change. Brian hopped in the shower, turning the water as hot as he could tolerate. He soaped his body and shampooed his hair. Brian had started to cry again, but didnt even notice, the normalcy of tears in his eyes had became an almost subconscious activity.
Brian stepped out of the shower and toweled off. He stepped out of the bathroom and walked towards his closet. He got out a pair of beige slacks and a white T-shirt, then a dark blue sweatshirt. He quickly got dressed and combed his hair, brushed his teeth and put on cologne. He stepped out of his room and walked with purpose down the hall towards Nicks roomslowly but with confidence. He stood in front of room 109 for a few moments. This was it, the first day of the rest of his life. He slowly lifted his arm and knocked on the door.
"Hey Brian! Why are you up so early, did Kevin call us for an early breakfast?" Nick exclaimed as he opened the door with a shocked expression on his face.
"Uhm, no. I just really need to talk to you I have something, uh important to tell you." Brian said beginning to get nervous at the task at hand.
"Sure, come on in, Frick." Nick said pulling Brian in the room and then shutting the door. "Whats the matter?" Nick asked.
"Nick, were best friends, right?" Brian asked looking into Nicks eyes.
"Of course we are, Frick and Frack forever!" Nick said smiling. Brian began to regain his confidence and continued.
"Uhm, Nick I dont really know how to say this, so I'll say it quickly. Im Im gay." Brian said, looking deep into Nicks eyes for a sign. All he saw was hate. The normally crystal clear eyes had clouded over with darkness. Brian, for the first time in his life, was truly scared. He had just ruined his life. Nick wasnt going to say, Im gay too, I love you.
"Youre not gay Brian." Nick said angrily, "Youre not gay Brian, or were not friends."
Both Brian and Nick were sitting on the bed. Brian began to cry. He moved his head towards Nicks shoulder for comfort. A shoulder that in the past had always comforted himsheltered him. Brian rested his head on Nicks shoulder and began to sob. With the touch of Brians head, Nick jumped up and moved away. "Get away from me!" Nick screamed in disgust.
Brian couldnt speak; it felt as though all the wind had been knocked out of him. He just cried further. His body and mind were paralyzed. How could Nick say these horrible things? Brian finally spoke. "What about Frick and Frack forever?" He asked softly, afraid of the answer.
"Frack doesnt like Frick now that Frick is a fucking fag!" Nick said with disgust. Brian felt a blow to his heart. His heart was breaking, he could barely breathe, and his mind was in overdrive. His eyes went black as he fainted.
The sun beamed into the room, lighting Brian's face causing him to wake. The previous happenings came back to him and once again he found it hard to breathe. 'What does it matter anyway?' Brian thought. 'If my best friend can't accept me how can I expect anyone else too? And I why should I expect people to, I am wrong.' Tears once again came to Brian's eyes. He wondered how long he had been unconscious; it didn't really matter. Nothing did. 'Maybe Nick had gone to tell the other guys about me. Maybe they've kicked me out of the group.' Brian feared the worst and began to sob. 'I've ruined the two best things in my life, the Backstreet Boys... and Nick.'
Brian moved his head to look at the clock. It was 3 o'clock. He had been unconscious for at least 5 hours. The meeting with management was at 5 o'clock. Brian slowly rose and sat on the bed. He almost jumped as he saw Nick sitting in a chair in the corner of a room. Nick was slouched in the chair, staring at him. Brian and Nick both remained silent until Nick spoke up. "I'm sorry, Brian." Nick spoke quickly. Brian looked into Nick's eyes, still clouded with hate and disgust.
"Why are you sorry Nick? Because the way you treated me, or are you sorry because I'm gay?" Brian asked, staring at Nick.
"Shit Brian, I said I was sorry okay. It's just not right and I don't think that I can accept it. Why can't you just be straight?" Nick asked, no kindness or compassion in his voice.
"Nick, you don't know how much I don't want to be gay. I want to be normal. I just can't be, I'm sorry... no, I'm not sorry. I'm gay and I can't change it, that's all there is too it. But it just breaks my heart that my best friend can't accept it." Brian spoke timidly at first, then regaining confidence, then almost in tears.
"Brian, me and you are not best friends. I was best friends with a different Brian. Not this one." Nick said. Brian looked up at him with anguish in his face. Brian's eyes, though watering, were straining to hold back tears.
"What's changed Nick? Nothing has; one sentence in a book thats all. One little thing in the past 6 years." Brian spoke again, trying to repair his friendship with Nick.
"Brian, its not a little thing! I'm sorry, but I can't accept it, its wrong." Nick stood up and began to walk out. Brian had neither the strength nor the will to try to stop him. "Kevin said we need to leave by 4." Nick added nonchalantly. Brian waited for the door to close, he strained until his eyes began to sting, he couldn't let Nick see him cry. When the door closed, Brian exploded like a bomb. Tears began to stream down his face, creating a river of sadness. Brian couldn't take it anymoreand after only two five-minute conversations. How could he endure the rest of his life like this; Brian knew he couldn't.
Still, Brian couldn't let the other guys down; they were like family to him. He couldn't leave the Backstreet Boys; being a Boy was the best thing in his life. He had to continue on and endureif not for himself then for the guys. They had always been there for himhe couldn't hurt them. Brian thought over his situation for what seemed an eternity, yet not drawing any conclusions. Kevin said they had to leave by 4; he had better get ready.
He left Nick's room and walked back to his own; the halls were empty. Brian changed his wrinkled clothes and combed his hair. While in the bathroom he heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" Brian shouted. He heard the door open and exited the bathroom; it was Kevin. Brian thanked God it wasn't Nick, he couldn't handle another confrontation.
"Hey Bri. We're having a group meeting in my room in five minutes. Ready to go?" Kevin asked.
"Yeh, I guess." Brian sighed leaving the room as he closed the door. As they walked down the hall to Kevin's room Brian made a decision. He would tell the other guys too. 'Their reactions couldn't possibly be worse than Nick's. Maybe they'll offer support and love.' Brian thoughts clouded his mind. 'At very least they'll care about me right?' Tears started to come to Brian's eyes. 'That's the same thing I thought about Nick.'
"Bri, are you okay man?" Kevin questioned feeling concerned for his cousin. Tears were now streaming down Brian's face. Brian simply shook his head. "What's the matter?" Kevin asked with compassion in his voice, he was genuinely concerned for Brian. Brian looked into Kevin's deep blue eyes and saw the compassion.
"I'm... I'm gay." Brian said, wiping the tears from his eyes. He looked up again to Kevin's eyes, he didn't see the hate that Nick had shown him, but the compassion he saw before was no longer there. Brian couldn't take a response from Kevin and ran into his room, ready for the meeting. Kevin stood in the hall awestruck. He regained his composure and walked into the room after Brian.
"Hey Bri." Howie and AJ both said in unison.
"Hey." Brian simply responded sitting in a chair facing the balcony.
"Uh guys, we have something to talk about. More important than the tour. Brian, are you going to tell them?" Kevin asked. Brian hated to be put on the spot, but Kevin was right, he needed to tell them and how much worse could it get?
"Guys, I'm sorry. I've been keeping a secret from you guys for 6 years now... uhm, I'm... uh gay." Brian stuttered out. He looked towards Howie into his eyes.
"Shit." Howie said. "I mean I still love you and all Brian, but that's a lot to lay on a person. I'll get used to it though, just give me some time." Brian was relieved at Howie's response. Brian then turned to AJ.
"That's cool, B. Its not really a surprise, I mean come on... you and Nick are really, really close." AJ said to Brian, then turned to Nick, "Do you have something to say too, Nickie." Nick was appalled by AJ's comment.
"No, I am not a fag! Some of us were brought up right, and stay moral." Nick said. Kevin, Howie and AJ all stood awestruck at Nick's words. Brian simply started to cry again. After a few moments of silence, Kevin spoke up.
"I think its time to go to the meetings, y'all." Kevin said. Brian's heart was broken yet again; not by Nick's comment, but how his three other best friends had ignored him, hadn't stood up for him. AJ and Howie seemed all right with him being gay but deep down inside, Brian knew they weren't'If they were okay with it, wouldn't they have stood up for me,' Brian thought. He simply stood up and walked to the door.
"Let's go guys." Brian said. He spoke in a daze, without emotion. Brian had pushed his emotions far to the back of his mind. Letting them forward would only cause Brian more pain and suffering.
Brian slouched in his chair at management's office. Jack and the rest of their management team had gone over the plans for the tourdates, venues, crew, set lists, and opening acts. Their sponsor, Sear's, wanted this to be the biggest concert event ever. They had gotten the Backstreet Boys four opening acts. Two of the acts were big enough to be co-headliners. Brian gazed into space. This mattered little to him.
"And gentleman, let me introduce you to the gentleman of 'N SYNC, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, LFO will be joining you on the second week of the tour, they have album promotion to do." Jack said causing Brian to lift his head. Brian knew the guys of 'N SYNC fairly well, they had collaborated on 3 charity projects before; Britney Spears was their fellow Jive Artist; and LFO had been an opening act for them years ago. The already crowded office was now filling with even more people. The guys of 'N SYNC came in, followed shyly by Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Kevin stood up to shake each of their hands.
The rest of the day was filled with contracts and schedules. Jack spoke up again, "I have you're guys' room assignments, Christina and Britney will share a room, Kevin and Lance will, AJ and Howie, Justin and JC, Chris and Joey and finally Brian and Nick."
"I'm not sharing a room with a fag." Nick said softly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Again, Nick had caused a room to be silent. Everyone in the room exchanged awkward glances; still complete silence remained. Brian's heart suffered yet another blow. Justin saw Brian's desperate face stare at the floor and it tore him apart.
"Nick, if you want you can sleep in JC's room and I'll sleep in Brian's." Justin said, breaking the silence. Brian looked up to his savior, staring at Justin. Justin smiled meekly back.
"Okay, you guys can... uh, go back to the hotel and do whatever. Just don't stay up too late tonight, you all have rehearsals tomorrow." Jack said causing everyone to stand and stretchthey had been sitting down for the past 4 hours. They all exited the room silently, in single-file. The Backstreet Boys entered a limo with 'N SYNC in another and Britney and Christina sharing the third.
Nick, Kevin and Howie sat across for Brian and AJ. Nick said with his arms crossed. "Nick what's the matter with you?" Kevin said.
'Finally,' Brian thought, 'someone is going to stand up for me.'
Kevin continued, "Did you find it necessary to tell everyone that Brian is gay?"
Brian couldn't believe his ears, Kevin was chastising Nick, not for the hurtful things he said, but for telling their tour mates that Brian was gay.
JC, Justin and Lance sat across from Chris and Joey. "Can you believe Brian is gay?" Chris asked.
"I don't really care about that, but Justin, why are you so eager to share a room with him?" JC asked, turning to look at Justin's face. Everyone was staring at him and Justin felt very uncomfortable.
"What was I supposed to do JC? Let him sit there crying while no one said anything?" Justin spoke up. "I don't want to share a room with him, but I did the right thing." Justin spoke confidently.
"That's cool J. Just make sure you tape your back door up at night." Joey said, causing all the guys to laugh.
"I still can't believe Brian is gay!" Christina said, her and Britney had instantly bonded; becoming instantly reacquianted with each other. They had been friends from the Mickey Mouse Club.
"I think it's so cute." Britney cooed. "He's a sweetheart."
"Oh I know. Gay guys are so much nicer than straight ones." Christina said.
"I know they are, straight guys are always trying to 'get some'." Britney talked on.
"So is Justin gay or what?" Christina asked.
"I don't think so. As long as I've known him he's like girls, and he's had a lot of girlfriends. He's just a sweetheart, that was so nice of him to be roommates with Brian." Britney answered.
"I know! How come I don't have a guy like that?" Christina asked sighing.
"Hey, I had him and gave him up!" Britney sighed wistfully, causing Christina to laugh
"We're gonna be the best of friends, I can tell already." Christina said. Britney agreed.
The Backstreet Boys' journey from the elevator down the hall to each room was filled with tension. Britney's, Christina's and 'N SYNC's was one filled with laughter and fun. Everyone had broken off to their rooms except for Justin and Brian who had the furthest room. Brian and Justin didn't exchange words; Brian fumbled with the key feeling nervous around Justin. Brian finally got the door open and they both walked in, Justin carrying a suitcase.
"Justin, I want to thank you for, uh... being roommates with me." Brian said. Justin looked up at him and smiled.
"Hey, no biggie. I'm happy to do it! You're a money guy." Justin responded to Brian's comment.
"Well, its just you know, I felt like the kid in gym class that gets picked last for teams. And it was really nice of you to be roommates with me." Brian continued, fumbling with his words.
"It's not a big deal Brian!" Justin exclaimed, "So... are you really gay?" Justin continued.
"Yeh." Brian said nonchalantly while Justin opened his suitcase.
"Isn't Nick you're best friend?" Justin continued on.
"He was." Brian said with even less emotion that before. Justin could tell that Brian didn't want to talk about it, so he didn't press the subject. Justin continued to unpack, hanging his clothes in the hotel closet. When he turned back Brian was standing to the window, crying. Brian walked over to him and put an arm around him.
"What's the matter?" Justin asked.
"Everything." Brian said crying. "My best friend is disgusted with me, all my friends ditch me and I don't even know what my family is going to say when I tell them."
"I'm sorry." Justin said, giving Brian a solid hug.
"I'm sorry you got stuck staying with me." Brian said, regaining his composure.
"I'm not stuck being with you, I chose to room with you." Justin said, assuaging Brian's emotions.
"Only because you're a nice guy and you saw me crying..." Brian was cut off by Justin.
"Brian, shut up! I chose to be with you because you are a nice guy, okay? End of subject." Justin said smiling at Brian.
Justin started to once again unpack. "So you have a girlfriend?" Brian asked softly.
"Not right now... although, now that Britney is on tour with us... maybe." Justin said slyly.
"That's cool. So what are you're plans tonight?" Brian continued the conversation, trying to steer away from any relationships.
"Uhm, I think I'm just gonna stay here, ya know, settle in, you?" Justin said.
"Uhm, well if you're not doing anything I thought maybe we could, uh, go out to dinner or something? To, uh... get to know each other better." Brian once again found himself fumbling with his words.
"I don't really feel like going out tonight," Justin said. Brian's hopes were dashed. "But we could order room service." Justin continued. Brian quickly agreed. "I'm gonna go check on JC and the other guys. You can order while I'm gone, whatever you like." Justin finished.
Justin walked down the hall to JC's room and knocked on the door. Nick answered. "Hey Nick, is JC here?" Justin asked casually.
"Uh yeh, come in. Hey I wanted to say thanks for switching roommates with me. I didn't wanna share a room with him." Nick said graciously.
"Nick, no problem. But uh, you should be a little nicer to him, you mean a lot to him and you're really hurting him." Justin said nicely, with no hint of anger.
"I just can't, right now. I can't even look at him." Nick said, becoming irritated by Justin's words.
"Hey J." JC made his presence known. "What's up?" He asked.
"I just wanted to check and see if you were unpacked, and see how you were getting along with Nick." Justin said.
"I'm fine, Nick's cool. Did you wanna go clubbing or see a movie or something?" JC asked.
"No, not tonight. Me and Brian are having dinner." Justin said.
"Uhm Justin, can I talk to you for a second." JC said, pulling Justin with him into the bathroom. "J, what's the matter with you? You know he's gay right?"
"Yes I know he's gay... we're just having dinner!" Justin defended Brian's actions.
"J, that's cool, just make sure you don't become to good of friends, and watch out how you sleep, okay?" JC warned Justin.
"What is your problem JC? He's not gonna try anything, he knows I'm not gay, he's a nice guy. We're just friends!" Justin defended his and Brian's relationship.
"Okay Just, you know him better than I do." JC dropped the subject.
"Okay, I better get back to my room. G'night." Justin said opening the bathroom door.
"Night, J." JC said.
"Bye Nick." Justin said, leaving the room. "Bye" he heard as he closed the door. Justin walked down the hall to his room and opened the door.
"Hey Brian, I'm..." Justin word's were stopped when he saw a candlelit lobster dinner sitting on a table in the room. Also on the table was champagne in ice.
"Welcome back." Brian said. He had changed from his T-shirt and shorts to slacks and a gray sweater. "I got dinner." He smiled. Justin stood in awe, he was a little nervous about what he knew needed to be said.
"Uh Bri, you know I'm not gay, right?" Justin asked shyly, not wanting to offend Brian.
Brian suddenly got defensive. "Yes I know, I just wanted to give you a nice dinner to say 'thank you.' I guess I shouldn't have."
"No, Brian. Its really nice. It's really, really nice. Thank you. So, do you wanna eat?" Justin said, trying to apologize for his previous words.
"Okay, lets eat." Brian said, his smile returning. They both sat down and began eating. They began talking about the upcoming tour, basketball, anything that came up. Brian and Justin had so much in common.
"You're so perfect." Brian slipped, not meaning to say it out loud.
"Uh, uhm... Brian?" Justin began to get extremely nervous and tensed up.
"No, I mean one day you're gonna make a girl a great husband." Brian covered for his mistake.
"Oh, thanks. You will too. Well, except for the girl part." Justin returned the compliment, accepting Brian's explanation.
They continued to talk for what seemed like hours. Finally Brian got up. "I'm gonna get some ice for the champagne. It's all melted. We'll drink it when I get back, ok? I know your underage and all, but I won't tell if you don't." Brian smiled. Brian got up and exited the room with the ice bucket in hand. He walked down the hall towards the ice machine. He saw someone down the hall; he recognized the person immediately, Nick. He thought about going back to his room but Nick had probably already seen him so Brian continued on.
"Hey Nick." Brian spoke first.
"Don't talk to me fag." Nick responded in a slur; he had been drinking.
"What?" Brian asked sadly.
"You heard what I said faggot." Nick's words broke Brian's heart even further.
"Nick, when I came out to you, all I wanted was a kiss to know that you loved me. When I was crying, all I wanted was a hug to know that you cared about me. Now, all I want is you to leave me alone to know that you respect me, okay?" Brian spoke quietly and without confidence.
"I don't respect fags, but I'll gladly leave you alone so you can go back and try to fuck Justin's ass." Nick said, turning to enter his room.
Brian became enraged and pushed Nick against the wall. "What is your fucking problem?" Brian said, tears stinging his eyes.
"What? You like Justin don't you? You're such a faggot Brian. Justin doesn't like you back, he's good and normal just like me." Nick said smiling, he knew Brian cared deeply for Justin.
"Fuck you Nick, fuck you!" Brian simply responded, still pinning Nick to the wall.
"I bet you'd like that huh? To get my ass?" Nick remained smiling. He knew his words were tearing up Brian inside.
"Shut up!" Brian said in rage, Nick's words were hurting him more and more.
"Or do you want Justin's? Drive your little tootsie roll in and out of him?" Nick said wickedly.
"Shut the fuck up!" Brian returned.
"If you'd shut your fucking ass and weren't a fucking queer, maybe I would shut the fuck up." Nick sneered, no hint of anything but hate and happiness in his voice. "Would you let me go now, so you can go and try to rape Justin."
Brian knew he was loosing the battle, he let Nick go and sat down, his face buried in his knees. Brian started crying, sobbing. His eyes stung and his heart felt like it was going to collapse. He heard Nick enter his room, softly closing the door. Nick had abandoned him. 'What happened to the nice sweet Nick I used to know?' Brian thought, continuing to cry.
After minutes of crying, Brian finally stood up and walked back to his and Justin's room. He stood at the door and dried his eyes, not wanting to show Justin he had just been crying. After he had wiped the remainder of his tears away he slowly opened the door and stepped in. "Hey Bri. Where's the ice?" Justin asked, still sitting at the table.
"Uh, I couldn't find the machine." Brian tried to cover.
"The machine is just down the hall. How could you not see it?" Justin continued his questions.
"Actually uhm, I ran into Nick on the way down there." Brian said, placing the ice bucket on the table and walking over to the bedroom.
"What's the matter Brian?" Justin said, getting up from the table to follow Brian. He walked into the bedroom and saw Brian lying on his stomach on the bed. Justin rushed over to the weeping Brian and started to rub his back.
"Justin, I like you a lot you know? But I'd never try to rape you." Brian said in between sobs.
Brian's statement confused Justin even more. "I know Brian. It's okay. I know you'd never do anything like that. What's the matter?" Justin continued rubbing Brian's back, trying to sooth the ailing man.
"Nick said the meanest things." Brian stopped sobbing for a moment. "I just don't know if I can take it anymore. He hurts me so much." Brian continued sobbing. "I don't want you to get wrapped up in all my problems Justin."
"I'm sorry Brian. I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something to make things right for you. You deserve so much better. Don't worry if I get wrapped up in them, I don't mind comforting you. Is there anything you want?" Justin said continuing to show compassion.
"Can you hold me? I mean if you're not too uncomfortable with it. I just really need to be held, to know that someone cares about me... Justin thank you so much, if you weren't here to save me, so many times, I don't think I could go on." Brian talked through sobs, finding it hard to breathe.
"Bri, I just wish there was more I could do. I'll be glad to hold you; I'll hold you forever if you want. Just give me bathroom breaks and time for some sexual release." Justin tried to joke to make Brian feel better.
Brian laughed lightly. "Thank you so much, Justin. You don't know how much I appreciate this."
Justin spent the rest of the night holding Brian in his arms as Brian cuddled to Justin's chest. He felt uncomfortable holding another guy at first, but he knew Brian had no sexual intentions, Brian simply needed someone to be there for him. Brian cried himself to sleep as Justin continued to think. Soon, though Justin found himself falling asleep.