Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2002 16:43:25 -0800 From: Chris Engelke Subject: Coming Out Of The Dark, Chapter 8 "COMING OUT OF THE DARK" By Chris Engelke (engelke2002@attbi.com) AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh my God! I'm back again! I was converting some of my favorite stories to E-Book format for my Pocket PC when I read through my story again. I liked my story and decided to continue it. I hope you all are glad of that also! Please send feedback to engelke2002@attbi.com. DISCLAIMER: This story is totally 100% fiction. Nothing happened the way that this story states. As far as we know officially, no members of *N Sync, Backstreet Boys, or any other celeb that I have mentioned or will mentioned is either gay, bi, lesbian, or transgender. CHAPTER 8 Hours had passed since Tom ran after AJ. The guys of BSB and *N Sync were very worried about their friends. Everyone was very worried. Lance was wearing a path in the carpet. He was driving the guys of *N Sync even crazier. "Scoop, will you stop pacing?" Chris frantically said. When Lance looked at Chris with a death stare, Chris tried another route. "Lance, Tom will be OK." Lance growled at Chris, then said, "Like I give a flying FUCK what you say anyway? You just want him OK so you can fuck him!" "Look, you fucking idiot!" Chris yelled. "I have no attraction whatsoever to Tom! It was his idea to get you back at your possibly ruining his friendship with me." "He would never be so cruel to me! He loves me!" Lance yelled. Kevin stepped between the arguing friends. "Guys, I hate to get in the middle of a group fight..." Both Chris and Lance shouted, "Then don't!" to Kevin. "Lance, I have to get involved in this. I was there with Chris. Alex was, too. It was his idea. He was so hurt that he could lose his friendship with Chris that he wasn't thinking right. He just wanted revenge." "You mean he's in love with Chris, too, and not me?" Lance cried. "No, Lance. Yes, he loves Chris very much, but only as a brother. He's in love with you." "He has a fucking funny way of showing it! He kissed Chris pretty passionately!" "He regrets doing that, Lance! You know that!" JC said. Lance sighed heavily. "You're right, Josh. I'm just so scared! Where is he?" The room is totally quiet after that. All of a sudden, Kevin's cell phone rings, startling everyone. He answers his phone. "Hello?" "Kev, it's Mike again." Mike was someone who worked for their management team. "I hope you are not calling me again to yell at me some more! I'm not in the fucking mood!" "No, Kev. We just received a call from AJ's mother." "What? What's going on?" Kevin asked, fearful of the answer. "AJ's in the hospital." The voice on the other end of the phone said. "He was found with a friend. Both were unconscious. There were a couple of bullets on the ground next to them. "Were they shot?" Kev asked. "No...Not that I know of. Both are still in surgery right now." "Who's the friend they found with him?" "The name didn't ring a bell for me. I had never met him before." Kevin took a deep breath and asked the question he knew he had to, but dreaded intensely. "Is his name Tom Morrison?" "Yes." The other man was stunned. "How did you know?" A single tear fell down Kevin's face, soon joined by more and more. Eventually, he was crying like he hadn't in a very long time. He dropped his phone. The rest of the people in the room were stunned by Kevin's change of mood. Brian rushed to his cousin and hugged him hard. "Cuz, what's wrong? Who's on the phone?" "It's...management..." Kevin replied, gasping for breath between each word. "Alex is in the hospital." "What?" Nick yelled. "What happened?" Kevin took a deep breath then explained what happened. "They found AJ and Tom unconscious somewhere in a bad part of town. He didn't tell me exactly what happened, though." "How's Tom?" Lance frantically asked. "I don't know, Lance. I'm sorry. That's all I was told. They're at Miracle Hospital." "MIRACLE HOSPITAL?" Lance shrieked. "What the fuck kind of name is that? Does that mean it will be a miracle if Tom survives? Am I going to lose him before I get him?" "They are going to be OK, Lance. I know it." Chris said, trying to comfort Lance. Lance didn't care for Chris' compassion. "Like I give a flying fuck what you think or say!" JC knew that this was not the time for his two friends to be fighting. "Shut up, guys! I really don't care what your problems are with each other! We have to get to the hospital to find out how they are!" Kevin's mind went to another place. He remembered what it was like growing up and how anyone who was suspected to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual was ridiculed. Many people transferred schools because of being beaten severely. His parents raised him to love your fellow man. They weren't exactly supporting anyone who had an attraction towards the same sex, but they never felt that they should be beaten or killed just because they were created that way. "God creates everyone, Kevin." his father would say. "Do you think He makes mistakes?" He then asked. Kevin eagerly shook his head. "Of course not. God made everyone and He has a reason why he made some people gay. Think about that. I hope I never hear that you are part of some gay beatings." The battle in his heart and his mind about homosexuality has played a large part of his life from when he was a child to the present date. When he first met AJ, he felt a little bit of an attraction towards his band mate. However, he fought the feelings because of what he witnessed when he was a child. Every so often, AJ would do something that would make Kevin's feelings reawaken, only to be forced down deep in his heart not too long after. Those feelings got stronger and stronger each time they came up again. Finally a few months ago, the feelings were too intense to ignore anymore. He had to admit to himself something that he had hid for almost nine years - he was in love with one of his best friends. Two things had stopped him from admitting his feelings towards his best friends, especially AJ. First of all, he was a married man. He knew he loved Kristin, but was never in love with her. One thing he was raised hearing he couldn't believe. Back when he was about 15 year old, he had a crush on his cousin Brian. One day, his parents realized that he was spending as much time as he could with Brian and not dating some nice church-going girl. When confronted about that, he told them that he didn't have any girlfriends and wasn't interested in dating a girl then because he and Brian "are going to get married when we grow up." "Kev, are you OK?" Chris said, breaking Kevin out of his fog. Kevin jumped. "Chris! Don't do that!" "I'm sorry, Kev. You seemed to be out of it for quite a long time. Are you OK?" "Yeah. Thanks, Chris. I was just thinking." "About what? If it's none of my business, then let me know." Kevin thought for a minute. "It's not that it's none of your business. I just am having problems believing it myself. I never thought that it would happen to me. I have to reconcile it with myself first, then I will let you guys know." Chris replied, "None of us accepted being gay and being in love with another guy so quickly. It's even harder when you find yourself in love with one of your best friends. Trust me, I know. It took me quite awhile to accept the fact that I was in love with Lance. I had never loved another guy before and who do I fall for? One of my brothers, someone I work with so closely and am with practically 24 hours a day." "Look how that ended. You guys broke up and aren't even talking to each other that much. Whenever you do talk to each other, you only argue." Kevin cried. "I can't love Alex!" "Kevin, that was a different situation. Lance was never in love with me. He saw Tom and fell in love at first sight. You have to make sure how he feels about you before you even consider dating him. I don't know how he does feel about you, but I still think that the two of you would make a very cute couple. I even thought that you two were a couple at one time." Kevin laughed. "You know, Tom said just that when Alex and I first met him. He knew AJ was bi, even when I thought my gaydar was wrong about him." He suddenly paused, and thought more about the situation. "So, what do I do?" "I would definitely wait until AJ recovers. Then let him know how you feel. Maybe he feels the same way about you, maybe he doesn't. He won't think any less of you, though." Kevin didn't want to think about his feelings any more now. "Can we talk about this later? I need to find out how AJ and Tom are." "Let's go!" Chris replied. Chris and Kevin went out the back exit of the hotel where a car was waiting for them. Everyone else had crowded into one care, leaving the other for Chris and Kevin. Twenty minutes later, the car was heading into the entrance of the hospital. Chris saw that there was already a tremendous crowd of teenage girls there, camping out and waiting for any word on AJ. "Fuck! Can't they stay away at least one day??" Chris shouted. "Let me call security to clear the crowd." Kevin replied. He picked up his cell phone and called his security guy. He found out that there was a big crowd inside the hospital also and he was trying to disperse them. "Thanks for letting me know about that. I guess Chris and I will have to face them without help." "No, Kevin." his security guard said. "Let me take care of this and I will be there. It shouldn't take that long." "Scott, I can't wait for that. I have to find out how they are." Kevin replied. "Are you sure?" "Yes." "OK. Be careful." Scott replied, and then hung up. Kevin also hung up his phone. "We're gonna have to deal with the crowd ourselves. Scott is dealing with a crowd inside and can't come out to help us for awhile." "What?" Chris whined. "Where are our security people?" "Didn't you hear me? They have their hands full inside. We'll be OK, Chris." Kevin and Chris ran from the car into the hospital, using the driver to help them dodge the youthful crowd. On more than one occasion, they were stopped by several people. When they finally reached the entrance, Chris turned back towards the crowd. "Ladies, the members of *N Sync and Backstreet Boys thank you for coming here in order to support AJ and one of our best friends. We will release a statement to the press, including Gideon from MTV once we find out how our friends are. However, at this time, we would like for you to head on home and wait for any further word there. This is a hospital, not a mall or some concert arena. There are doctors and nurses trying to save the lives of many people, including our friends. Thank you again for your love and support." Chris turned back around and entered the hospital. They rushed towards emergency, where they saw the rest of their friends waiting on word on the conditions of AJ and Tom. Kevin went to Brian, while Chris went over to JC. Chris wanted to comfort Lance, but was still having a hard time with what happened between them and Tom. He knew he would be able to forgive Lance one day, but that one day would not happen for quite some time. "How are they, Josh?" Chris asked. JC sighed. "We don't know yet. All we have found out is that they are still in surgery. We don't even know what exactly happened to them. The only two people that know are unconscious now." "I'll be in the hospital chapel if you hear anything about Tom or AJ." Chris said. "You're not staying here?" JC asked. He couldn't believe that even with all that has happened between Lance and him, he wouldn't be there for one of his brothers when he needed his friends the most. "Look, Josh. I know what you are thinking. It's hard for me. I find out that the guy I love, the only guy I have ever loved has never loved me. He is in love with another of my friends. He could have told me he loved Tom." "You know why Scoop never said anything." JC tried to reason. "It doesn't matter that he didn't know how Tom felt about him. He still should have told me. Hell, he should have told me a fucking long time ago that he didn't love me." "I know, but..." JC started to say, but was interrupted by Chris. "I'll be back, C. I just need some time alone to think." On that note, Chris walked away to try to get his mind back in synch, pun not intended. JC sighed heavily. Joey heard him and went up to him. "Hey, Josh." he said. "Hey, Joe. How you holding up?" "Forget me. How's Chris? I'm really worried about him." JC contemplated what to say for a little while. Truth be told, he was angry at Chris. Could he keep control of his emotions? No. Not now, though he could normally do so. "Who the fuck cares about that selfish asshole? He can drop out of *N Sync then drop dead for all I care!!" Justin heard JC's last sentence and went over to his lover to try to calm him down. "Baby, what's wrong?" JC couldn't stay pissed off whenever Justin was near him. Unfortunately, his anger turned to tears. He hated the fact that he has cried more in the last six months than he ever has in his life. "What the fuck is wrong with Chris? He should be here, not just for Scoop, but for the rest of us! We're supposed to be there for each other, not running away when things get tough!" "But the important thing is that he is here. He needs some time alone to think things through." Joey said. "Joe's right, honey. He'll be back. I know you're worried about Tom. He'll be OK." "What if he's not fine? What if he dies? I'll kill that fucking Dorough!" JC cried. "God, I am so fucking sick of crying all the time!" Joey was confused as he didn't know that JC and Howie had an affair. "Josh, what are you talking about? What does Howie have to do with this?" "Is that what caused everything? I'll kill that fucker!" Justin yelled. "Can someone please clue me in?" Joey said in frustration. "Josh?" Justin asked. "Joe, Howie and I dated before I realized I was in love with Jus." Joey was stunned. Was he the only totally straight person in a boy band? Should he try sleeping with a guy to see what he was missing? The guys knew each other well, almost too well. JC knew what Joey was thinking. "No, Joe." "No what?" Joey asked. Did JC know what he was thinking? "No, Joe. Don't try sleeping with a guy. Let half of the population be safe from you." JC laughed. "Funny, Mr. Comedian!" Joey sneered at JC then hit him on the back of the head. Joey, JC, and Justin started to laugh hard. Lance stormed up to the three friends. "Sure! Laugh it up when the man I love may very well be dead! Have a fucking party!" "Lance, calm down. Don't have kittens! We're worried about Tom, too! God! Like we would be celebrating when one of our best friends is in the fucking hospital! Shit!" Joey yelled. "Josh, I'm gonna go talk to Chris and see if he's OK." Joey stormed off in a huff. Lance couldn't take anymore. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. He fell to his knees and broke down in a heartbreaking sob. "I can't lose him! I can't lose the man I love!" "Oh, Lance!" JC said, then hugged him tightly to show him he was loved very much and supported. He mouthed the words, "Could you please leave us alone?" to Justin. "Guys, I'll be right back. I want to see if there's any new word on Tom or AJ." Justin said. However, neither JC nor Lance heard him. He walked off, worried about both Lance and Tom. "God, I hope they'll be OK. What would happen if Tom dies? Lance would never be the same. Hell, none of us would ever be the same again." He slowly walked off, looking for a doctor. TO BE CONTINUED Am I killing off both my lead character and also my favorite Backstreet Boy? No. I'm just getting going again. Again, please e-mail me your feelings about my starting this story again and any storylines you feel would be good for me to add to my story. My e-mail address is engelke2002@attbi.com