Here we are again. Thanks
for all the e-mail, I really appreciate it. And since I can't think
of anything else to say let's just get on with part four.
This story is fictional and is not meant to imply
anything about the sexuality of the characters portrayed within it.
If you shouldn't be reading this then, well hell you're probably gonna
read it regardless of anything I say so enjoy.
The Darker Path-Part Four
I opened my eyes and found myself lying under
a shady tree in a wide field. There was a stream flowing nearby.
The sound of the water cascading over the stones was almost musical.
The sky was that perfect shade of blue. The one we see after the
clouds roll away from a thunderstorm. It's the color of innocence,
the color of dreams, a color too perfect to exist on Earth. It can
only be found in the sky above. Lying there staring up at the perfect
sky, unbroken by any clouds, it was easy to forget my troubles for a while.
It was just nice to sit here and enjoy that warm breeze and the babbling
of the stream. Just perfect.
Looking around I couldn't see anyone, and
yet somehow I heard this voice. It seemed to come from everywhere
"Who are you? Where are you?"
In the distance a figure appeared on the horizon.
It was a familiar figure, but I couldn't make out who it was. The
voice was familiar too, but I couldn't place it. As the figure came
closer I could tell the voice was coming from it.
"What do you want? Who are you?"
Don't you know? Have you forgotten so much
"What do you mean forgotten?"
You have forgotten yourself.
The figure came closer and finally I could
see who it was. Tall, but not too tall, thin but with the wide shoulders
and powerful legs of many years of swimming. Eyes that were sometimes
green, sometimes blue, and sometimes neither and both. A nose that
some might call distinctive and others might call too pointy. The
face wore and expression of serene dignity, but it was a mask covering
a soul wracked with pain. It was my face, or had been until I'd met
"What is this? What's going on?"
This is what you have done. You have forgotten
"What are you talking about? How can
I forget myself?"
The darkness consumes you Zack. It eats
your humanity and your soul.
That is ridiculous. I chose my own
path. I'm no less me than I was a month ago.
Really? Have you forgotten you almost killed
a man in cold blood last night?
"That was an accident. Wait a minute
this is stupid! Why am I standing here arguing with myself?
Get out of my head!"
Wait! Don't send me away. It's not
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
The wind picked up and the figure before me seemed
to lose its substance, as if it were no longer a solid form. It wavered
and was blown away by the wind. Just as it was lost to sight I heard
a last echo, fading into nothingness.
No. Don't do this...
With a start I awoke. I was covered
in a cold sweat and my heart was racing. I reached for a cigarette
and lit it as I climbed out of bed. Vaguely I wondered when I had
decided it was ok to smoke inside. I never used to do that.
As I climbed out of bed I checked the clock. It read 6:30.
I had to check again to see whether that was AM or PM. It was AM.
It had been a while since I'd been up before noon. Just as well though
since I had quite a bit of traveling to do. Absently I started packing.
Three black suits, black shirts, black shoes, black socks. I was
beginning to see a trend in my wardrobe.
I wasn't sure how long I was going to be gone.
Probably a week at least. I filled one suitcase and a garment bag,
both pieces of luggage black. That much would fit in the car if I
decided to drive. I walked into the bathroom, stripped down and got
in the shower. Lately I had been enjoying cool showers and this morning
it felt particularly good. I turned the knob all the way to cold
to help wash away the remaining fatigue. I was used to getting quite
a bit more sleep that I had last night, and I hadn't fed either.
That made up my mind about driving. As much fun as it might be, driving
all the way to Albany would leave me too tired to have any fun when I got
When I got out of the shower I called an airline
and booked a first-class ticket on the next flight. That would be
at 11:30, giving me plenty of time to get to the airport. My next
call was to arranged for a limo to pick me up. That done, I finished
packing and dressed. Black pants, socks, shoes, and belt. On
impulse I put on a light blue shirt with a collar. Who said I had
to wear all black all the time? I was just finishing breakfast when
the limo driver called up. In a few minutes I was on my way to the
airport. And Justin.
Justin was getting restless. The concert was
starting in a few minutes and Zack still wasn't here. He'd been waiting
all day for him to show up. It seemed like anytime he let his mind
wander he wound up thinking about Zack. It was impossible not to
think about him. He recalled the conversation he'd had over breakfast
this morning. Everyone had been suspicious about inviting Zack.
Justin had had a hard time explaining himself. He didn't really know
how things were going to work out with Zack. It had been Lance who
finally saved them by pointing out that they needed another assistant manager.
He and Justin had convinced a reluctant Chris and Joey to let Zack interview
for the job. JC said he wanted no part of it, but didn't say he would
stop them either.
He was just so easy to talk to. So understanding,
and confident, and...
"Huh, what?" He nearly jumped out of his seat
as he turned around to find JC standing at the door of his dressing room.
"You ready to go or do you want to stay here and
stare off in to space? What is with you today anyway? Every
time I see you you you've got this spaced-out look in your eyes."
"Um, it's nothing. Guess I've just been a
little out of it."
"Well maybe you should try getting back into it
since we have a show to do."
"All right JC! Don't bite my head off."
"Sorry, I just want to make sure we all do our best."
"Thanks mom," Justin said with a wry grin.
"Anytime. C'mon let's go."
Justin followed his friend down the hallway towards
the green room. "Where is he," he muttered under his breath.
"You say somethin Curly?"
"No, just talkin to myself."
"I'm sure that's healthy.
"Kiss my ass." Where is he?
The concert was pretty routine, as concerts go.
Lots of screaming teenage girls, bright lights and all. Justin wondered
at what point performing for a sold out crowd of tens of thousands had
become routine. It was probably lucky that they hadn't been doing
anything new because he hadn't been able to keep his mind on his performance.
A couple of times he almost missed a dance step and once JC had to cover
for him when he missed an entrance on "Bye Bye Bye." He was sure
he was going to hear about that later. He was really exhausted.
Routine as this concert might have been, it was still a lot of work.
Of course nobody ever said being a pop star was easy. He was just
thankful that they were going right to the hotel so they could avoid all
the cameras and fans. But that also meant that he wasn't going to
see Zack. Justin was really hurt. He tried to figure out where
Zack could be, why he hadn't been there. Had something happened to
him? Or maybe the whole thing had just been too good to be true from
the beginning. He didn't really pay any attention to what was going
on around him; he simply followed the other guys as they jogged towards
the exit. They had to jog to make it out ahead of the fans.
When they got to the back door they stopped while security went out side
to make sure the way was clear.
"You look tired. Long day?"
Justin turned at the sound of that voice.
His eyes lit up with delight as they fell upon the tall figure leaning
against the wall. He was wearing black pants and a light blue shirt.
If it wasn't quite baby blue it was close. Justin wondered if Zack
knew that it was his favorite color. Maybe Zack did know and maybe
he'd worn it on purpose. Either way he looked so good it was all
Justin could do not to jump him right there. Instead he settled for
a big smile.
"You might say that. I was beginning to think
you wouldn't make it."
Zack moved forward and returned Justin's smile and
looked at him with those big eyes. Were they green now or still blue?
It was hard to tell in this light. Whatever they were that gaze was
enough for Justin to feel weak in the knees.
"I promised I would be here and I am. I never
break my promises."
Justin wanted to ask him if he'd promise to stay
with him forever, but he forced that idea away and instead said:
"I'm just glad you're here."
By then the other guys had noticed Zack too.
In the back of his mind Justin wondered how Zack had gotten passed all
the security. Not that it mattered. The important thing was
he was here.
"Zack. So glad you could join us. I
was afraid you wouldn't make it."
If Zack noticed the sarcasm in JC's voice he gave
no sign of it. He simply smiled and shook JC's hand. The he
introduced himself to Joey, Chris, and Lance. Lance gave Justin a
look as if showing his approval. Joey and Chris warmed up to him
quickly. By the time security gave them the "go ahead" Zack had almost
"...And I said to the guy 'Look, if you don't take
this back and bring me something that resembles food I'm going to make
sure you don't have a job by this time tomorrow."
Chris and Joey burst out laughing. Lance simply
grinned. JC scowled and walked of towards the waiting limo.
The other guys started to follow him. Chris turned as he was going
out the door.
"Zack man, let me tell you it's so good to have
somebody we can actually relate to on this tour. Everybody else is
either trying to kiss our ass or tell us what to do. By the way,
where are you staying?"
"I'm not sure yet. My plane just got in an
hour ago. I didn't have time to find a hotel before I got here."
"Hmmm, well we're staying at the Hilton, I'm sure
they've got a room there."
"They're booked solid with all the press in town,"
JC said. He seemed almost happy about it.
"He can stay in my room."
Everybody turned to look at Justin. He felt
his ears burning and quickly added "We've all got suites don't we?
I'm sure there's a couch you can crash on Zack."
Zack's smile said he knew that's not what Justin
had meant but all he said was "I'm sure that will be perfect."
"C'mom let's go," JC yelled impatiently from the
"Hey as long as you're staying with us you might
as well ride with us," Joey said grabbing Zack's arm and dashing toward
Justin smiled. It looked like things were
going to work out pretty well. Everybody seemed to really like Zack,
even Lance who was normally pretty shy. Except for JC of course.
is his problem? Justin put that worry out of his head.
Who cared what JC thought. He was always trying to be the over-protective
older brother that Justin didn't want or need. He hopped into the
limo, followed by Lance, and sat next to Zack. Chris was laughing
so hard at something Zack had said that Justin was afraid he was going
to have a coronary. Joey was already helping himself to the bar and
JC was sitting all the way at the front of the limo by himself. Well
he could pout if he wanted to. As long as Justin had Zack.
He moved a little closer to Zack. He could smell his cologne.
It was subtle but intoxicating. More than that he felt drawn to Zack.
He was like a magnet pulling at Justin. But strangely as before there
were two attractions. One was the obvious physical and extremely
sexual attraction he felt to Zack. It was almost overpowering him.
Even right there in front of everyone he wanted to strip Zack down and
do all kinds of things he had never even dreamed of before meeting the
tall blonde. But then there was the other. It was fainter,
more elusive, but still there. His heart cried out for Zack.
To be with him not just in body, but in mind and in spirit. It was
an attraction much deeper and more powerful even if it was harder to notice.
Justin had never been in love but he suspected that he was falling in love
with this person who he had only just met. It scared him a little,
but it was exciting too.
Bringing himself back to reality he looked around
the limo. JC was still up front but he was listening to Zack tell
a story about a girl he had met by the Lincoln Memorial in DC. Chris,
Joey, and even Lance were giggling like schoolgirls. If management
reacted half as well to Zack as the guys had he was sure to get the job
as assistant manager. Justin leaned back and closed his eyes, listening
to the sound of Zack's melodious voice. Yes, everything was working
The limo ride was a short one. NSYNC was staying
at a hotel near the arena since they were going to be performing there
again the following night. Tomorrow was going to be great though,
they had the whole afternoon off. Justin had already dreamed up several
romantic scenarios for him and Zack when the limo stopped and the driver
opened the door. The Hilton they were staying at wasn't the nicest
hotel in the world, but it was still pretty nice. As usual they were
snuck in the back way and rushed up to their rooms while the bellhops unloaded
Justin's suite was pretty standard. It had
a room with a couch and a TV, a fridge and mini bar and some chairs and
then a separate bedroom with a king-sized bed. The bathroom had a
oversized jacuzzi tub. That might come in handy. Justin admonished
himself for thinking things like that. He hardly knew Zack and he
was certainly not the kind of person who got that intimate with someone
he'd just met. Not that he didn't want to. Oh god how he wanted
to! He was supposed to shower and change and then meet the guys for
dinner in an hour, but all he really wanted to do was get Zack in bed and...
He shook himself trying to get those dirty thoughts out of his head.
He flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes. He was so tired.
Touring like this had taken a lot out of him. It would be so nice
to have that afternoon off tomorrow.
"Not going to bed already I hope?"
Justin's eyes flew open and he almost jumped.
He hadn't heard anyone come in, but Zack was sitting on the end of the
"No, I was just resting for a minute."
"I hope so. The night is young and I'm sure
there will be lots of interesting things to do before we go to bed."
Was he implying... No he couldn't be.
Justin's throat was dry. He had never wanted anybody so badly before.
He was used to being lusted after, not the other way around. Zack
smiled as if he found something amusing. Justin realized he was waiting
for him to say something.
"I...I think I'd better go take a shower."
"Of course. Perhaps I'll just rest for a while.
I've had such a long day."
Zack moved gracefully, somehow managing to stretch
himself out along the bed and bring his head up to rest near Justin's,
all in one fluid motion. It was almost like a snake uncoiling.
Zack laced his hands across his chest and turned his head to Justin.
"Yeah, traveling can take a lot out of you." He's
right here and he so beautiful. I could just reach over and touch
him. Kiss him. Grope him... He was getting flushed
again. And Zack just lay there, calm as ever, smiling as if he knew
exactly what Justin was thinking.
"Um, I think I'd better go take my shower.
The guys...don't want to keep them waiting." He laughed nervously
and got off the bed. He was going to need a cold shower.
My eyes followed Justin as he went into the bathroom
and closed the door. The whole thing was almost too easy. I
could have followed him into the bathroom of course, but it was so much
more fun to watch him squirm a little. There was no need to rush
things. On the other hand the desire for blood was almost screaming
at me now. Soon the wait would be over though. Tonight I would
have Justin's blood.
I suppressed a yawn, refusing to admit how tired
I was. A long day of traveling and not much sleep the night before
had left me weak. But it had been worth it. Everything
was going quite well. The boys of NSYNC had been more than hospitable,
even inviting me to dinner. All except JC. Frowning I reviewed
the short time he had been in my presence. There was no conceivable
reason for him to resist my charms, and yet he genuinely disliked me, and
made no effort to hide it. Perhaps he needed a little more coaxing.
I stretched out on the large bed and allowed myself
a contented sigh. Screw JC, there was nothing he could do anyway
even if he had known the truth. Humans were such foolish creatures.
The warm water of the shower had done a lot to relax
Justin. It soothed away the aches in his fatigued muscles and washed
away the sweat he had worked up. Wrapping a towel around himself,
he opened the door and stepped into his bedroom. At first he didn't
even notice Zack was still there. He was so still that Justin had
to check to see the rise and fall of his chest to make sure he was still
alive. Sleeping, Justin thought. And after he told
me I couldn't take a nap! Of course he couldn't be mad at Zack.
He looked so perfect lying there on the bed. Justin started to entertain
thoughts of simply curling up next to him and skipping dinner, but he knew
that would raise questions and the guys would most likely barge in to see
what was wrong with him and that would be no good. Still there was
no reason to wake his Sleeping Beauty yet.
Tiptoeing over to his luggage Justin quietly pulled
out a pair of silk boxers and a white tee shirt. Glancing again at
Zack he let his towel drop and slipped on the boxers. He was was
just reaching for his shirt when Zack spoke.
"Quite a view."
"Oh....I, um, I thought you were asleep. Sorry,
I was just..."
"No need to apologize Justin. I'm sure you
know how attractive you are."
Justin felt himself blushing but at the same time
his heart was racing with excitement. He thinks I'm attractive?
The he must want... Visions of exactly what Zack wanted ran wild
through his head. The blood that had filled his face was rapidly
moving to lower parts of his body. There was no way to hide that,
not when he was standing there in his boxers. Briefly he entertained
the idea that Zack wouldn't notice, but one look at his face told him that
hope was already in vain. Justin grabbed the towel off the floor
and held it in front of him with one hand, with the other he grabbed his
"Getting dressed so soon?"
Zack rose off the bed and glided over to him.
He could feel Zack's eyes burning into his soul, searing it with hot desire.
Zack reached him and ran a finger under his chin.
"No need to be embarrassed Justin. We both
know what you want."
Zack's hand moved slowly up Justin's face until
it ran through his damp curls. At the same time he guided Justin's
head towards his own. Justin leaned in, eager to feel the caress
of Zack's lips. When they met the contact was like lightning.
It jolted him, like fire and ice it burned him and froze him. His
heart hammered in his chest, forcing blood through his body. His
skin tingled and his brain burned with the heat of his desire. The
towel fell to the floor as he wrapped his arms around Zack. He couldn't
think of anything outside of that embrace. There was only the passion
of the kiss.
Abruptly it stopped. Zack pulled away gently
and Justin sank back onto the bed. He was tired and exhilarated at
the same time. He'd never kissed anyone like that before.
"Now I think you'd better get dressed," Zack said
with a smirk. He turned smoothly and walked out of the room, closing
the door behind him.
Justin got to his feet shakily. It had been
so incredible and now there was a sense of loss without Zack's touch.
Slowly he composed himself and got dressed. His pulse was still racing
with excitement, but he managed to keep his mind on dinner for the most
part. First dinner. Then there would be plenty of time for...everything.
Something was really wrong. Chris and Joey
who normally couldn't keep their mouths shut had barely said two words
since they sat down. They were too busy listening to Zack to talk.
Lance was similarly spellbound, that in itself wasn't strange, he was usually
quiet anyway, but he kept shooting approving looks in Justin's direction.
And Justin! Justin was practically drooling all over the tall blonde
sitting next to him. JC frowned and took another sip of his drink.
Justin didn't usually drool over anyone but himself. Why was he the
only one that didn't like Zack? He was arrogant, cold, and entirely
too good-looking. Well, maybe that wasn't so bad, but he knew exactly
how good-looking he was. And why was he wearing those dark sunglasses?
The sun had set hours ago and the lights in the restaurant weren't that
The worst part was that there was nothing for JC
to do. He loved Justin like a brother and hated to see him fawning
over some rich prick who was way too sure of himself. But how could
he tell Justin that? He was absolutely smitten with this guy. JC
hadn't even known Justin was gay. That bothered him too. Not
that fact that he was gay, but that he hadn't told anyone. He'd just
brought this guy into their lives and he didn't even make any effort to
hide what was going on. He had come in practically hanging on Zack's
arm. And the way he stared at Zack! Not to mention the fact
that he was holding his hand. No, he wasn't holding his hand,
he was practically caressing it! And nobody else even noticed!
"Why so glum JC?"
It took him a minute to realize Zack was talking
to him. "What?"
"I said, why so glum? You don't like your
"No it's fine. I guess I'm just not hungry."
"I see. That's too bad."
"Yeah, it's a damn shame."
Zack turned back to Justin and whispered something
that made him start giggling. JC felt his face getting hot.
The bastard was making fun of him and not even bothering to hide it!
He made up his mind to talk to Justin after dinner. Maybe it wasn't
too late to talk some sense into him.
They had just paid the check and were heading for
the door when JC stopped him.
"Justin, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Sure, what's it about?"
Zack came up and put his arm around Justin.
"I hope not."
"What do you need to tell me, JC?"
"Well I was hoping to tell you in private."
"You can say anything you need to say to me in front
"I'd really rather not. It's none of his business."
Justin was getting angry. He didn't know what
JC's problem with Zack was, but it was getting old real fast.
"Look JC, you've got a real attitude problem.
I don't know where it came from, but I don't want to talk to you until
"Justin, would you please just listen..."
"No! You have no reason to treat Zack like
this and until you get your act together I have nothing to say to you."
"Take it easy Justin. No need to yell."
Justin could see that Zack was trying to help, but
that just seemed to make JC mad.
"You stay out of this!"
"As you wish JC. Let's go Justin."
Justin turned to go with Zack. He'd had a
few more things to say to JC, but if Zack wanted to go then it was time
to go. They walked arm and arm back their hotel room. At other
times Justin might have been embarrassed about being so open with another
guy in public, but not now. No one seemed to see anything wrong with
it either. Everyone nodded respectfully to Zack. Once a guy
came up to Justin to ask for his autograph, but looked at Zack and then
just apologized for bothering them and walked away. It was incredible.
Even a bum they saw on the street tipped his hat to Zack and wished him
a good night. An older man brushed by them in a hurry on the sidewalk
and then stopped and apologized for simply brushing Zack's coat.
Zack didn't even seem to notice the people. He just walked along
with the same catlike grace he wore like a part of his wardrobe.
As they approached the hotel, Justin felt his heart
beating faster and faster. He couldn't wait to be alone with Zack.
The desire to please him was overwhelming. The elevator ride seemed
endless. Finally they got out to their floor. Justin fumbled
with the key card to open the door. He was so excited his hands were
shaking. At last the door opened and he darted inside. Zack
glided in after him. The door swung shut behind him. That was
weird, there must have been a draft in the hall.
"Alone at last."
Zack's voice was utterly calm, almost serene.
It was the complete opposite of how he felt.
"Yeah," Justin gulped, hoping the nervousness didn't
show in his voice.
"So Justin, what do you want to do now?"
"Oh, um, I don't know. Whatever I guess."
"Really? I was sure you knew exactly what
you wanted earlier. Have you changed your mind?"
"No...no, I just meant, I...want to do whatever
Zack favored him with a thin smile, barely conveying
any emotion, but his eyes smoldered with desire. He came to Justin
and was kissing him before another word could be said. Justin felt
himself being swept along helplessly in a tide of passion and desire.
He was almost outside himself, unable to control his body. He felt
himself being lowered to the couch and felt Zack's body on top of him,
its heat washing over him. It was almost like a dream. Everything
around him was fuzzy and indistinct. Only the feel of Zack's lips
on his was real. Everything else was an illusion. He could
feel himself tugging at Zack's shirt, trying to undress him. Somehow
they managed to shed all their clothes, but Justin wasn't sure how. It
was part of the dream, only Zack was a reality. He was only aware
of the desire to please Zack. He would do anything, but he was helpless
to move until Zack wanted him too. He felt the hot lips against his
neck. It felt so good. He never wanted anything else but this.
He would do anything for Zack, if only to keep the sensation of his embrace.
It was all there was. Everything else was dark around him.
Only the naked flesh pressing into him was real. He felt something
sharp against his neck and then suddenly it was all gone.
Slowly he came back to reality. His head was
still spinning. What had happened? He and Zack had been on
the couch and he remembered feeling so good. He would have done anything...he
had totally lost control of himself. He blinked his eyes and sat
up. Zack was saying something. He sounded upset. Had he done
something to upset Zack?
"...I'm sorry Justin. For what I almost did.
I hope you can forgive me. I...I need to go out for a little while.
When I come back things will be better."
Before Justin could say a word Zack was gone.
He tried to replay the events of the night in his head. Everything
after the concert was blurry. He'd come to the hotel, then there
was dinner. Something about a fight with JC and then they came back
to the hotel room. They started making out and...with a shock he
realized all his clothes were on the floor. He was completely naked.
Waves of embarrassment washed over him. He must have taken things
a little too far and Zack got uncomfortable. He remembered wanted
to do anything for Zack, but he could remember what he had done.
He wasn't the kind of person to sleep around. He'd never been even
this intimate with someone he had only just met. How could he have
tried to do this? Zack was going to think he was some kind of slut.
He started crying and picked up his clothes. He pulled his boxers
back on and climbed into bed. He cried for a long time, just hoping
and praying that Zack would come back. How could he have been so
stupid! Finally sleep came.
Where am I? What's happening to me?
I stumbled out the door and down the hall.
I went to the elevator and punched the button for the lobby. When
the doors opened I bolted for the bathroom. Staring at myself in
the mirror, the bloodshot eyes, the sweat running down my face, I tried
to get a handle on what happened.
I can't do it! I wont!
Can't do what? Couldn't do what?
That was the question. I had Justin right there. I could feel
the blood coursing through his veins and I put my lips against his neck
I had to stop. I wanted him, but not like
that. Not some half-aware piece of meat ready to bow to my every
I was going crazy. There was no other
explanation. I needed to be calm. I'd been too long with out
feeding. I just needed to compose myself and go back upstairs and....
No, I don't want to hurt him. I don't want
to hurt anyone else. There has to be and end to it.
I was such a fool. I just needed blood.
Sweet blood to clear my head and then I could rest.
Why was I still down here? He was waiting
upstairs. I just need to...
...pull myself together...
Please let it go!
...and go back upstairs. All I needed
Him. You need him, but not the way you
have him now.
...blood. I needed blood. I couldn't
think. It was...
Stop. No more blood.
...too much. The world was spinning
and I couldn't make it stop. I heard a voice behind me.
"Excuse me sir, are you all right?"
A person. Blood. I needed it.
Barely more than a boy. He must work for the
"Sir? Would you like me to call a doctor."
Blood. Just what I needed. Then I could
"What's wrong? Are you all right?"
No stop! It doesn't have to be like this.
Blood. Sweet red blood.
Wait! it's not too late!
"Sir what are you...maybe I should go."
So sweet. I needed it.
Don't do this!
"What...let me go! Please! Help!
Everything went dark.
Sometime later I awoke on the bathroom floor.
The lights were out. Oh yes, I remembered smashing them. The
boy was gone. Strange how they were always gone when I woke up.
It must have been close to dawn. Best to get out of here. I
seemed to remember spilling quite a bit of blood. That would be hard
to miss when they fixed the lights. But where to go? Obviously
back to Justin.
No. I have to stay away from him.
I don't want to drag him into this. I wont.
Perhaps I needed to get away from Justin
for a little while. Until I could sort things out a bit. Yes,
perhaps I'd check out Regan's beachouse. Key West would be like an
all you can eat buffet. Yes that would do nicely. But first
I needed my luggage from Justin's room.
I slipped in silently, like a shadow. The
room was dark but I could see well enough. My things were sitting
right where the bellhop had left them. Lucky I didn't unpack.
I was about to leave, but on impulse I went in to check on Justin first.
His face was stained with tears, but in his sleep
he looked peaceful and happy. Why do we look at peace when we sleep?
Where do we go that we can leave all the troubles of this world behind?
He was so beautiful, and who was I to have caused him so much pain.
I promise I'll come back to you Justin.
I need to figure some things out first. I have to find a way to control
it, but when I do, I'll be back. I hope it will only take a few weeks,
but even if it takes years, I'll come back.
With one last glance I closed the door and
headed out into the pale dawn. There were answer out there that I
needed. I had to find a way to live with what I was, but at the same
time I needed to save some of my humanity. I needed answers, and
I knew of only one person who could give them to me. I hailed a cab
and on the way to the airport I started thinking about how I could find
Oh don't you all just hate me? Well it only
gets worse because I'm leaving the country tomorrow and I'm gonna be gone
for three weeks! But I promise I'll get to work as soon as I get
back. Even if I'm gone you can still e-mail me and let me know what
you think. It'll give me something to look forward to when I get
back. As always it's firstname.lastname@example.org. Until next time,
I wish you all peace and love.