Here we are again.  Thanks for all the e-mail, I really appreciate it.  And since I can't think of anything else to say let's just get on with part four.

    This story is fictional and is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of the characters portrayed within it.  If you shouldn't be reading this then, well hell you're probably gonna read it regardless of anything I say so enjoy.

The Darker Path-Part Four

    Zack.  Zack!
    I opened my eyes and found myself lying under a shady tree in a wide field.  There was a stream flowing nearby.  The sound of the water cascading over the stones was almost musical.  The sky was that perfect shade of blue.  The one we see after the clouds roll away from a thunderstorm.  It's the color of innocence, the color of dreams, a color too perfect to exist on Earth.  It can only be found in the sky above.  Lying there staring up at the perfect sky, unbroken by any clouds, it was easy to forget my troubles for a while.  It was just nice to sit here and enjoy that warm breeze and the babbling of the stream.  Just perfect.
    Looking around I couldn't see anyone, and yet somehow I heard this voice.  It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.
    "Who are you?  Where are you?"
    In the distance a figure appeared on the horizon.  It was a familiar figure, but I couldn't make out who it was.  The voice was familiar too, but I couldn't place it.  As the figure came closer I could tell the voice was coming from it.
    "What do you want?  Who are you?"
    Don't you know?  Have you forgotten so much already?
    "What do you mean forgotten?"
    You have forgotten yourself.
    The figure came closer and finally I could see who it was.  Tall, but not too tall, thin but with the wide shoulders and powerful legs of many years of swimming.  Eyes that were sometimes green, sometimes blue, and sometimes neither and both.  A nose that some might call distinctive and others might call too pointy.  The face wore and expression of serene dignity, but it was a mask covering a soul wracked with pain.  It was my face, or had been until I'd met Regan.
    "What is this?  What's going on?"
    This is what you have done.  You have forgotten yourself.
    "What are you talking about?  How can I forget myself?"
    The darkness consumes you Zack.  It eats your humanity and your soul.
    That is ridiculous.  I chose my own path.  I'm no less me than I was a month ago.
    Really?  Have you forgotten you almost killed a man in cold blood last night?
    "That was an accident.  Wait a minute this is stupid!  Why am I standing here arguing with myself?  Get out of my head!"
    Wait!  Don't send me away.  It's not too late...
    The wind picked up and the figure before me seemed to lose its substance, as if it were no longer a solid form.  It wavered and was blown away by the wind.  Just as it was lost to sight I heard a last echo, fading into nothingness.
    No.  Don't do this...
    With a start I awoke.  I was covered in a cold sweat and my heart was racing.  I reached for a cigarette and lit it as I climbed out of bed.  Vaguely I wondered when I had decided it was ok to smoke inside.  I never used to do that.  As I climbed out of bed I checked the clock.  It read 6:30.  I had to check again to see whether that was AM or PM.  It was AM.  It had been a while since I'd been up before noon.  Just as well though since I had quite a bit of traveling to do.  Absently I started packing.  Three black suits, black shirts, black shoes, black socks.  I was beginning to see a trend in my wardrobe.
    I wasn't sure how long I was going to be gone.  Probably a week at least.  I filled one suitcase and a garment bag, both pieces of luggage black.  That much would fit in the car if I decided to drive.  I walked into the bathroom, stripped down and got in the shower.  Lately I had been enjoying cool showers and this morning it felt particularly good.  I turned the knob all the way to cold to help wash away the remaining fatigue.  I was used to getting quite a bit more sleep that I had last night, and I hadn't fed either.  That made up my mind about driving.  As much fun as it might be, driving all the way to Albany would leave me too tired to have any fun when I got there.
    When I got out of the shower I called an airline and booked a first-class ticket on the next flight.  That would be at 11:30, giving me plenty of time to get to the airport.  My next call was to arranged for a limo to pick me up.  That done, I finished packing and dressed.  Black pants, socks, shoes, and belt.  On impulse I put on a light blue shirt with a collar.  Who said I had to wear all black all the time?  I was just finishing breakfast when the limo driver called up.  In a few minutes I was on my way to the airport.  And Justin.

    Justin was getting restless.  The concert was starting in a few minutes and Zack still wasn't here.  He'd been waiting all day for him to show up.  It seemed like anytime he let his mind wander he wound up thinking about Zack.  It was impossible not to think about him.  He recalled the conversation he'd had over breakfast this morning.  Everyone had been suspicious about inviting Zack.  Justin had had a hard time explaining himself.  He didn't really know how things were going to work out with Zack.  It had been Lance who finally saved them by pointing out that they needed another assistant manager.  He and Justin had convinced a reluctant Chris and Joey to let Zack interview for the job.  JC said he wanted no part of it, but didn't say he would stop them either.
    He was just so easy to talk to.  So understanding, and confident, and...
    "Huh, what?"  He nearly jumped out of his seat as he turned around to find JC standing at the door of his dressing room.
    "You ready to go or do you want to stay here and stare off in to space?  What is with you today anyway?  Every time I see you you you've got this spaced-out look in your eyes."
    "Um, it's nothing.  Guess I've just been a little out of it."
    "Well maybe you should try getting back into it since we have a show to do."
    "All right JC!  Don't bite my head off."
    "Sorry, I just want to make sure we all do our best."
    "Thanks mom," Justin said with a wry grin.
    "Anytime.  C'mon let's go."
    Justin followed his friend down the hallway towards the green room.  "Where is he," he muttered under his breath.
    "You say somethin Curly?"
    "No, just talkin to myself."
    "I'm sure that's healthy.
    "Kiss my ass."  Where is he?

    The concert was pretty routine, as concerts go.  Lots of screaming teenage girls, bright lights and all.  Justin wondered at what point performing for a sold out crowd of tens of thousands had become routine.  It was probably lucky that they hadn't been doing anything new because he hadn't been able to keep his mind on his performance.  A couple of times he almost missed a dance step and once JC had to cover for him when he missed an entrance on "Bye Bye Bye."  He was sure he was going to hear about that later.  He was really exhausted.  Routine as this concert might have been, it was still a lot of work.  Of course nobody ever said being a pop star was easy.  He was just thankful that they were going right to the hotel so they could avoid all the cameras and fans.  But that also meant that he wasn't going to see Zack.  Justin was really hurt.  He tried to figure out where Zack could be, why he hadn't been there.  Had something happened to him?  Or maybe the whole thing had just been too good to be true from the beginning.  He didn't really pay any attention to what was going on around him; he simply followed the other guys as they jogged towards the exit.  They had to jog to make it out ahead of the fans.  When they got to the back door they stopped while security went out side to make sure the way was clear.
    "You look tired.  Long day?"
    Justin turned at the sound of that voice.  His eyes lit up with delight as they fell upon the tall figure leaning against the wall.  He was wearing black pants and a light blue shirt.  If it wasn't quite baby blue it was close.  Justin wondered if Zack knew that it was his favorite color.  Maybe Zack did know and maybe he'd worn it on purpose.  Either way he looked so good it was all Justin could do not to jump him right there.  Instead he settled for a big smile.
    "You might say that.  I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it."
    Zack moved forward and returned Justin's smile and looked at him with those big eyes.  Were they green now or still blue?  It was hard to tell in this light.  Whatever they were that gaze was enough for Justin to feel weak in the knees.
    "I promised I would be here and I am.  I never break my promises."
    Justin wanted to ask him if he'd promise to stay with him forever, but he forced that idea away and instead said:
    "I'm just glad you're here."
    "Me too."
    By then the other guys had noticed Zack too.  In the back of his mind Justin wondered how Zack had gotten passed all the security.  Not that it mattered.  The important thing was he was here.
    "Zack.  So glad you could join us.  I was afraid you wouldn't make it."
    If Zack noticed the sarcasm in JC's voice he gave no sign of it.  He simply smiled and shook JC's hand.  The he introduced himself to Joey, Chris, and Lance.  Lance gave Justin a look as if showing his approval.  Joey and Chris warmed up to him quickly.  By the time security gave them the "go ahead" Zack had almost everybody laughing.
    "...And I said to the guy 'Look, if you don't take this back and bring me something that resembles food I'm going to make sure you don't have a job by this time tomorrow."
    Chris and Joey burst out laughing.  Lance simply grinned.  JC scowled and walked of towards the waiting limo.  The other guys started to follow him.  Chris turned as he was going out the door.
    "Zack man, let me tell you it's so good to have somebody we can actually relate to on this tour.  Everybody else is either trying to kiss our ass or tell us what to do.  By the way, where are you staying?"
    "I'm not sure yet.  My plane just got in an hour ago.  I didn't have time to find a hotel before I got here."
    "Hmmm, well we're staying at the Hilton, I'm sure they've got a room there."
    "They're booked solid with all the press in town," JC said.  He seemed almost happy about it.
    "He can stay in my room."
    Everybody turned to look at Justin.  He felt his ears burning and quickly added "We've all got suites don't we?  I'm sure there's a couch you can crash on Zack."
    Zack's smile said he knew that's not what Justin had meant but all he said was "I'm sure that will be perfect."
    "C'mom let's go," JC yelled impatiently from the limo.
    "Hey as long as you're staying with us you might as well ride with us," Joey said grabbing Zack's arm and dashing toward the limo.
    Justin smiled.  It looked like things were going to work out pretty well.  Everybody seemed to really like Zack, even Lance who was normally pretty shy.  Except for JC of course. What is his problem?  Justin put that worry out of his head.  Who cared what JC thought.  He was always trying to be the over-protective older brother that Justin didn't want or need.  He hopped into the limo, followed by Lance, and sat next to Zack.  Chris was laughing so hard at something Zack had said that Justin was afraid he was going to have a coronary.  Joey was already helping himself to the bar and JC was sitting all the way at the front of the limo by himself.  Well he could pout if he wanted to.  As long as Justin had Zack.  He moved a little closer to Zack.  He could smell his cologne.  It was subtle but intoxicating.  More than that he felt drawn to Zack.  He was like a magnet pulling at Justin.  But strangely as before there were two attractions.  One was the obvious physical and extremely sexual attraction he felt to Zack.  It was almost overpowering him.  Even right there in front of everyone he wanted to strip Zack down and do all kinds of things he had never even dreamed of before meeting the tall blonde.  But then there was the other.  It was fainter, more elusive, but still there.  His heart cried out for Zack.  To be with him not just in body, but in mind and in spirit.  It was an attraction much deeper and more powerful even if it was harder to notice.  Justin had never been in love but he suspected that he was falling in love with this person who he had only just met.  It scared him a little, but it was exciting too.
    Bringing himself back to reality he looked around the limo.  JC was still up front but he was listening to Zack tell a story about a girl he had met by the Lincoln Memorial in DC.  Chris, Joey, and even Lance were giggling like schoolgirls.  If management reacted half as well to Zack as the guys had he was sure to get the job as assistant manager.  Justin leaned back and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Zack's melodious voice.  Yes, everything was working out perfectly.

    The limo ride was a short one.  NSYNC was staying at a hotel near the arena since they were going to be performing there again the following night.  Tomorrow was going to be great though, they had the whole afternoon off.  Justin had already dreamed up several romantic scenarios for him and Zack when the limo stopped and the driver opened the door.  The Hilton they were staying at wasn't the nicest hotel in the world, but it was still pretty nice.  As usual they were snuck in the back way and rushed up to their rooms while the bellhops unloaded the luggage.
    Justin's suite was pretty standard.  It had a room with a couch and a TV, a fridge and mini bar and some chairs and then a separate bedroom with a king-sized bed.  The bathroom had a oversized jacuzzi tub.  That might come in handy.  Justin admonished himself for thinking things like that.  He hardly knew Zack and he was certainly not the kind of person who got that intimate with someone he'd just met.  Not that he didn't want to.  Oh god how he wanted to!  He was supposed to shower and change and then meet the guys for dinner in an hour, but all he really wanted to do was get Zack in bed and...  He shook himself trying to get those dirty thoughts out of his head.  He flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes.  He was so tired.  Touring like this had taken a lot out of him.  It would be so nice to have that afternoon off tomorrow.
    "Not going to bed already I hope?"
    Justin's eyes flew open and he almost jumped.  He hadn't heard anyone come in, but Zack was sitting on the end of the bed.
    "No, I was just resting for a minute."
    "I hope so.  The night is young and I'm sure there will be lots of interesting things to do before we go to bed."
    Was he implying...  No he couldn't be.  Justin's throat was dry.  He had never wanted anybody so badly before.  He was used to being lusted after, not the other way around.  Zack smiled as if he found something amusing.  Justin realized he was waiting for him to say something.
    "I...I think I'd better go take a shower."
    "Of course.  Perhaps I'll just rest for a while.  I've had such a long day."
    Zack moved gracefully, somehow managing to stretch himself out along the bed and bring his head up to rest near Justin's, all in one fluid motion.  It was almost like a snake uncoiling.  Zack laced his hands across his chest and turned his head to Justin.
    "Yeah, traveling can take a lot out of you." He's right here and he so beautiful.  I could just reach over and touch him.  Kiss him.  Grope him...  He was getting flushed again.  And Zack just lay there, calm as ever, smiling as if he knew exactly what Justin was thinking.
    "Um, I think I'd better go take my shower.  The guys...don't want to keep them waiting."  He laughed nervously and got off the bed.  He was going to need a cold shower.

    My eyes followed Justin as he went into the bathroom and closed the door.  The whole thing was almost too easy.  I could have followed him into the bathroom of course, but it was so much more fun to watch him squirm a little.  There was no need to rush things.  On the other hand the desire for blood was almost screaming at me now.  Soon the wait would be over though.  Tonight I would have Justin's blood.
    I suppressed a yawn, refusing to admit how tired I was.  A long day of traveling and not much sleep the night before had left me weak.   But it had been worth it.  Everything was going quite well.  The boys of NSYNC had been more than hospitable, even inviting me to dinner.  All except JC.  Frowning I reviewed the short time he had been in my presence.  There was no conceivable reason for him to resist my charms, and yet he genuinely disliked me, and made no effort to hide it.  Perhaps he needed a little more coaxing.
    I stretched out on the large bed and allowed myself a contented sigh.  Screw JC, there was nothing he could do anyway even if he had known the truth.  Humans were such foolish creatures.

    The warm water of the shower had done a lot to relax Justin.  It soothed away the aches in his fatigued muscles and washed away the sweat he had worked up.  Wrapping a towel around himself, he opened the door and stepped into his bedroom.  At first he didn't even notice Zack was still there.  He was so still that Justin had to check to see the rise and fall of his chest to make sure he was still alive.  Sleeping, Justin thought.  And after he told me I couldn't take a nap!  Of course he couldn't be mad at Zack.  He looked so perfect lying there on the bed.  Justin started to entertain thoughts of simply curling up next to him and skipping dinner, but he knew that would raise questions and the guys would most likely barge in to see what was wrong with him and that would be no good.  Still there was no reason to wake his Sleeping Beauty yet.
    Tiptoeing over to his luggage Justin quietly pulled out a pair of silk boxers and a white tee shirt.  Glancing again at Zack he let his towel drop and slipped on the boxers.  He was was just reaching for his shirt when Zack spoke.
    "Quite a view."
    "Oh....I, um, I thought you were asleep.  Sorry, I was just..."
    "No need to apologize Justin.  I'm sure you know how attractive you are."
    Justin felt himself blushing but at the same time his heart was racing with excitement.  He thinks I'm attractive?  The he must want...  Visions of exactly what Zack wanted ran wild through his head.  The blood that had filled his face was rapidly moving to lower parts of his body.  There was no way to hide that, not when he was standing there in his boxers.  Briefly he entertained the idea that Zack wouldn't notice, but one look at his face told him that hope was already in vain.  Justin grabbed the towel off the floor and held it in front of him with one hand, with the other he grabbed his tee shirt.
    "Getting dressed so soon?"
    Zack rose off the bed and glided over to him.  He could feel Zack's eyes burning into his soul, searing it with hot desire.  Zack reached him and ran a finger under his chin.
    "No need to be embarrassed Justin.  We both know what you want."
    Zack's hand moved slowly up Justin's face until it ran through his damp curls.  At the same time he guided Justin's head towards his own.  Justin leaned in, eager to feel the caress of Zack's lips.  When they met the contact was like lightning.  It jolted him, like fire and ice it burned him and froze him.  His heart hammered in his chest, forcing blood through his body.  His skin tingled and his brain burned with the heat of his desire.  The towel fell to the floor as he wrapped his arms around Zack.  He couldn't think of anything outside of that embrace.  There was only the passion of the kiss.
    Abruptly it stopped.  Zack pulled away gently and Justin sank back onto the bed.  He was tired and exhilarated at the same time.  He'd never kissed anyone like that before.
    "Now I think you'd better get dressed," Zack said with a smirk.  He turned smoothly and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
    Justin got to his feet shakily.  It had been so incredible and now there was a sense of loss without Zack's touch.  Slowly he composed himself and got dressed.  His pulse was still racing with excitement, but he managed to keep his mind on dinner for the most part.  First dinner.  Then there would be plenty of time for...everything.

    Something was really wrong.  Chris and Joey who normally couldn't keep their mouths shut had barely said two words since they sat down.  They were too busy listening to Zack to talk.  Lance was similarly spellbound, that in itself wasn't strange, he was usually quiet anyway, but he kept shooting approving looks in Justin's direction.  And Justin!  Justin was practically drooling all over the tall blonde sitting next to him.  JC frowned and took another sip of his drink.  Justin didn't usually drool over anyone but himself.  Why was he the only one that didn't like Zack?  He was arrogant, cold, and entirely too good-looking.  Well, maybe that wasn't so bad, but he knew exactly how good-looking he was.  And why was he wearing those dark sunglasses?  The sun had set hours ago and the lights in the restaurant weren't that bright.
    The worst part was that there was nothing for JC to do.  He loved Justin like a brother and hated to see him fawning over some rich prick who was way too sure of himself.  But how could he tell Justin that?  He was absolutely smitten with this guy. JC hadn't even known Justin was gay.  That bothered him too.  Not that fact that he was gay, but that he hadn't told anyone.  He'd just brought this guy into their lives and he didn't even make any effort to hide what was going on.  He had come in practically hanging on Zack's arm.  And the way he stared at Zack!  Not to mention the fact that he was holding his hand.  No, he wasn't holding his hand, he was practically caressing it!  And nobody else even noticed!
    "Why so glum JC?"
    It took him a minute to realize Zack was talking to him.  "What?"
    "I said, why so glum?  You don't like your food?"
    "No it's fine.  I guess I'm just not hungry."
    "I see.  That's too bad."
    "Yeah, it's a damn shame."
    Zack turned back to Justin and whispered something that made him start giggling.  JC felt his face getting hot.  The bastard was making fun of him and not even bothering to hide it!  He made up his mind to talk to Justin after dinner.  Maybe it wasn't too late to talk some sense into him.

    They had just paid the check and were heading for the door when JC stopped him.
    "Justin, can I talk to you for a sec?"
    "Sure, what's it about?"
    Zack came up and put his arm around Justin.
    "Problem JC?"
    "I hope not."
    "What do you need to tell me, JC?"
    "Well I was hoping to tell you in private."
    "You can say anything you need to say to me in front of Zack."
    "I'd really rather not.  It's none of his business."
    Justin was getting angry.  He didn't know what JC's problem with Zack was, but it was getting old real fast.
    "Look JC, you've got a real attitude problem.  I don't know where it came from, but I don't want to talk to you until it's gone."
    "Justin, would you please just listen..."
    "No!  You have no reason to treat Zack like this and until you get your act together I have nothing to say to you."
    "Take it easy Justin.  No need to yell."
    Justin could see that Zack was trying to help, but that just seemed to make JC mad.
    "You stay out of this!"
    "As you wish JC. Let's go Justin."
    Justin turned to go with Zack.  He'd had a few more things to say to JC, but if Zack wanted to go then it was time to go.  They walked arm and arm back their hotel room.  At other times Justin might have been embarrassed about being so open with another guy in public, but not now.  No one seemed to see anything wrong with it either.  Everyone nodded respectfully to Zack.  Once a guy came up to Justin to ask for his autograph, but looked at Zack and then just apologized for bothering them and walked away.  It was incredible.  Even a bum they saw on the street tipped his hat to Zack and wished him a good night.  An older man brushed by them in a hurry on the sidewalk and then stopped and apologized for simply brushing Zack's coat.  Zack didn't even seem to notice the people.  He just walked along with the same catlike grace he wore like a part of his wardrobe.
    As they approached the hotel, Justin felt his heart beating faster and faster.  He couldn't wait to be alone with Zack.  The desire to please him was overwhelming.  The elevator ride seemed endless.  Finally they got out to their floor.  Justin fumbled with the key card to open the door.  He was so excited his hands were shaking.  At last the door opened and he darted inside.  Zack glided in after him.  The door swung shut behind him.  That was weird, there must have been a draft in the hall.
    "Alone at last."
    Zack's voice was utterly calm, almost serene.  It was the complete opposite of how he felt.
    "Yeah," Justin gulped, hoping the nervousness didn't show in his voice.
    "So Justin, what do you want to do now?"
    "Oh, um, I don't know.  Whatever I guess."
    "Really?  I was sure you knew exactly what you wanted earlier.  Have you changed your mind?"
    ", I just meant, I...want to do whatever you want."
    Zack favored him with a thin smile, barely conveying any emotion, but his eyes smoldered with desire.  He came to Justin and was kissing him before another word could be said.  Justin felt himself being swept along helplessly in a tide of passion and desire.  He was almost outside himself, unable to control his body.  He felt himself being lowered to the couch and felt Zack's body on top of him, its heat washing over him.  It was almost like a dream.  Everything around him was fuzzy and indistinct.  Only the feel of Zack's lips on his was real.  Everything else was an illusion.  He could feel himself tugging at Zack's shirt, trying to undress him.  Somehow they managed to shed all their clothes, but Justin wasn't sure how. It was part of the dream, only Zack was a reality.  He was only aware of the desire to please Zack.  He would do anything, but he was helpless to move until Zack wanted him too.  He felt the hot lips against his neck.  It felt so good.  He never wanted anything else but this.  He would do anything for Zack, if only to keep the sensation of his embrace.  It was all there was.  Everything else was dark around him.  Only the naked flesh pressing into him was real.  He felt something sharp against his neck and then suddenly it was all gone.
    Slowly he came back to reality.  His head was still spinning.  What had happened?  He and Zack had been on the couch and he remembered feeling so good.  He would have done anything...he had totally lost control of himself.  He blinked his eyes and sat up.  Zack was saying something. He sounded upset.  Had he done something to upset Zack?
    "...I'm sorry Justin.  For what I almost did.  I hope you can forgive me.  I...I need to go out for a little while.  When I come back things will be better."
    Before Justin could say a word Zack was gone.  He tried to replay the events of the night in his head.  Everything after the concert was blurry.  He'd come to the hotel, then there was dinner.  Something about a fight with JC and then they came back to the hotel room.  They started making out and...with a shock he realized all his clothes were on the floor.  He was completely naked.  Waves of embarrassment washed over him.  He must have taken things a little too far and Zack got uncomfortable.  He remembered wanted to do anything for Zack, but he could remember what he had done.  He wasn't the kind of person to sleep around.  He'd never been even this intimate with someone he had only just met.  How could he have tried to do this?  Zack was going to think he was some kind of slut.  He started crying and picked up his clothes.  He pulled his boxers back on and climbed into bed.  He cried for a long time, just hoping and praying that Zack would come back.  How could he have been so stupid!  Finally sleep came.

    Where am I?  What's happening to me?
    I stumbled out the door and down the hall.  I went to the elevator and punched the button for the lobby.  When the doors opened I bolted for the bathroom.  Staring at myself in the mirror, the bloodshot eyes, the sweat running down my face, I tried to get a handle on what happened.
    I can't do it!  I wont!
    Can't do what?  Couldn't do what?  That was the question.  I had Justin right there.  I could feel the blood coursing through his veins and I put my lips against his neck and...
    I had to stop.  I wanted him, but not like that.  Not some half-aware piece of meat ready to bow to my every wish.
    I was going crazy.  There was no other explanation.  I needed to be calm.  I'd been too long with out feeding.  I just needed to compose myself and go back upstairs and....
    No, I don't want to hurt him.  I don't want to hurt anyone else.  There has to be and end to it.
    I was such a fool.  I just needed blood.  Sweet blood to clear my head and then I could rest.
    Why was I still down here?  He was waiting upstairs.  I just need to...
    Stop it!
    ...pull myself together...
    Please let it go!
    ...and go back upstairs.  All I needed was...
    Him.  You need him, but not the way you have him now.
    ...blood.  I needed blood.  I couldn't think.  It was...
    Stop.  No more blood.
    ...too much.  The world was spinning and I couldn't make it stop.  I heard a voice behind me.
    "Excuse me sir, are you all right?"
    A person.  Blood.  I needed it.
    Barely more than a boy.  He must work for the hotel.
    "Sir?  Would you like me to call a doctor."
    Blood.  Just what I needed.  Then I could think.
    "What's wrong?  Are you all right?"
    No stop!  It doesn't have to be like this.
    Blood.  Sweet red blood.
    Wait!  it's not too late!
    "Sir what are you...maybe I should go."
    So sweet.  I needed it.
    Don't do this!
    "What...let me go!  Please!  Help!  He..."
    Everything went dark.

    Sometime later I awoke on the bathroom floor.  The lights were out.  Oh yes, I remembered smashing them.  The boy was gone.  Strange how they were always gone when I woke up.  It must have been close to dawn.  Best to get out of here.  I seemed to remember spilling quite a bit of blood.  That would be hard to miss when they fixed the lights.  But where to go?  Obviously back to Justin.
    No.  I have to stay away from him.  I don't want to drag him into this.  I wont.
    Perhaps I needed to get away from Justin for a little while.  Until I could sort things out a bit.  Yes, perhaps I'd check out Regan's beachouse.  Key West would be like an all you can eat buffet.  Yes that would do nicely.  But first I needed my luggage from Justin's room.
    I slipped in silently, like a shadow.  The room was dark but I could see well enough.  My things were sitting right where the bellhop had left them.  Lucky  I didn't unpack.  I was about to leave, but on impulse I went in to check on Justin first.
    His face was stained with tears, but in his sleep he looked peaceful and happy.  Why do we look at peace when we sleep?  Where do we go that we can leave all the troubles of this world behind?  He was so beautiful, and who was I to have caused him so much pain.
    I promise I'll come back to you Justin.  I need to figure some things out first.  I have to find a way to control it, but when I do, I'll be back.  I hope it will only take a few weeks, but even if it takes years, I'll come back.
    With one last glance I closed the door and headed out into the pale dawn.  There were answer out there that I needed.  I had to find a way to live with what I was, but at the same time I needed to save some of my humanity.  I needed answers, and I knew of only one person who could give them to me.  I hailed a cab and on the way to the airport I started thinking about how I could find Regan.

    Oh don't you all just hate me?  Well it only gets worse because I'm leaving the country tomorrow and I'm gonna be gone for three weeks!  But I promise I'll get to work as soon as I get back.  Even if I'm gone you can still e-mail me and let me know what you think.  It'll give me something to look forward to when I get back.  As always it's  Until next time, I wish you all peace and love.