Date: Wed, 10 Jan 2001 16:08:51 -0600
From: Danni Bailey <dannibailey@hotmail.com>
Subject: Decisions - Chapter 24

One more time...for those of you who may not have read this before......This
story contains homosexual themes.  If you are under 18 or don't appreciate
stories of this nature, don't bother reading any further.  Also, this is
fiction.  Unfortunately, I know none of the member of NSYNC, although I have
met Justin and yes, he really is that hot!  Anyway, I have no knowledge of
their sexual preference.

Chapter 24

Your mind was reeling.  You were in such a daze you had no idea you passed
JC as you made your way out of the venue. All that was running through your
mind was air, you needed air.  After what seemed like an eternity, you made
your way out of the Garden and took a seat on the front steps, hoping to
just catch your breath and gather your thoughts.

While you were trying to comprehend the events of the last few minutes, you
heard a penny drop directly in front of you. Bending down to pick it up a
voice behind you said, "A penny for your thoughts?" You recognized the voice
immediately and realized JC had followed you outside.

"Are you sure your ass should be out here?  You know if someone sees
you...."

He didn't let you finish.

"I'm right where I'm supposed to be, trying to help a friend."

JC repeated himself "A penny for your thoughts?  I'm here if you want to
talk about
it."

"Do I really want to hear what I just found out?" you asked cautiously.
"Josh, I really don't know if I can even talk about this.  Trust me your not
going to believe what Wade just told me.

You were trying your best to maintain control of your voice, but knew you
were fighting a loosing battle. "Josh, I can barely believe it myself."

"Gary, I'm here to talk, listen, or anything else that you feel will help.
But, I can't help if you don't open up.  I can hear it in your voice.  This
is something pretty big. I'm here to help if you'll let me."

"Josh, the problem with Wade and Justin is bigger then any of us imagined."

You looked out to the crowded Manhattan street and noticed all the people
walking past, lost in their own world, oblivious to the crisis facing you.

"There is no easy way to say this, so here goes."

You knew JC could pick up in your voice all the emotions you were feeling.
The hint of anger, fear and confusion could not be hidden.  They were too
close to the surface.

"Wade is in love with Justin, and that's why he pushes him so hard.  He said
he sees all the potential in Justin and wants him to be perfect."

You're voice was barely audible now.  "I can't loose him Josh, he's my
life."

JC sat on the step next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder.  "I
know Gary, and you won't."

You both were silent for several minutes as the magnitude of what you had
revealed sunk in to both of you.

The familiar ring of the cell phone interrupted your thoughts.  You
recognized the number as Danni's and was glad she was checking in.
Hopefully, Justin had cooled down somewhat by now.

"Hey Danni"

"Gary, he's not here!"

You were stunned.  You were beginning the think this day could get no worse.
  "Where the hell is he?"

"We don't know.  He asked Lonnie to get him something to eat from the hotel
restaurant, and when he got back Justin was gone."

You could hear the concern in her voice.  "Gary, I'm really worried about
him.  I've never seen Justin behave this way before.  You should see the
Explorer.  He kicked in the tail light and passenger side door.  Needless to
say we won't be renting from Avis again unless Lonnie can get this fixed
before we leave.  Gary, he out of control."

Danni was always the calm one.  The fact that she was upset made you even
more nervous.

"You and Chris have checked the hotel, right?  He's not there anywhere?"

"Nowhere.   Lonnie is checking with the concierge to see if Justin ordered a
taxi.  We might be able to find him that way.  We've even called his cell
phone for the past half an hour, but he won't pick up.  Gary, we need to
find him.  What if someone recognizes him and Lonnie isn't there?  He's
gonna get mobbed."

Damn, Danni thought of everything.

You were trying to keep your composure.  "Ok, let me call Carson.  Chances
are if Justin needs to talk, he'd call him."

You tried to think of who else would Justin turn to.  "Have you guys talked
to Britney?  That may be another option."

"Chris has her on the line now sweetie.  She hasn't heard from him."

Your concern was now turning to anger.  "Dammit! Why the hell is he pulling
this shit?  He knows we're all worried about him?"

Danni was the voice of logic.  "Gary, you know how upset he must be.  He's
not thinking about anything but the concert.  He'll cool down."

"Yeah, you're right, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about him."

You realized you were no closer to finding Justin now than you were 10
minutes ago, and with each passing moment you were becoming more anxious.

"Danni, I need to go.  Call me if you hear anything."

"Sure sweetie.....and Gary, he'll be fine.

You hoped she was right.

You quickly called Carson and was disappointed that he had heard nothing
from Justin.  You, JC and Lance had joined the others back at the hotel and
were sitting in Chris' room.  It had been nearly three hours since Justin
had left the Garden and still no word.

You walked out onto the balcony and were somewhat comforted by the view.
Chris' room over looked Central Park and the relaxed attitude of its
visitors somehow put you at ease.

Without realizing it you began to sing.

If I was down, would your arms lift me up
To higher ground, with just the strength of your love
If I was lost, would I find something in your eyes to lead me home
And if it all went wrong, would you be there to hold
It's easy to be there through the good times
But when the times get hard, would you stay or walk away

"Dammit!" Lance blurted out as he threw open the sliding glass door.  "Why
didn't I think of this before?  Didn't Dennis say there was a Razoo's in
Manhattan?  It's the perfect place for him to go.  He can get in there and
no one is going to bother him.

In less than 15 minutes Lonnie to gotten you to Razoo's.  It was early, only
6:00 o'clock, so the place was nearly empty. There was a lone figure sitting
at the bar and even though your eyes had not yet become accustomed to the
darkness, the silhouette was easy to distinguish.  You sat down next to him
and spoke softly, trying to ease the tension.

"You know I already have a boyfriend, but I could sure fall for someone like
you."

He turned and faced you and you could see the redness in his eyes.

He was fighting back tears as he spoke.  "Gary, this hurts so bad.  I can't
believe after everything we've been through, Mark pulled me from the show."

"Justin as much as you don't want to hear this, you're in no shape to do the
show tonight.  Johnny has already arranged for you guys to make it up on
Sunday, so you really didn't cancel.  You just postponed it for a couple of
days.  Everything is gonna be fine."

You looked at him more closely and realized you needed to get him back to
the hotel.  His right hand was swollen and his knuckles had taken on a
purplish tone.  He color had improved very little in the past three hours
either.

"How about we head back to the hotel and just kinda take it easy for the
rest of the night?"

Justin was oblivious to what you were saying.  All he could think about was
the concert.

"I don't get it Gary, what the hell is it with Wade?   If he hadn't been
such an ass, we'd be performing at Madison Square Garden tonight."

Damn, why did Wade's name need to come up.  You were hoping to avoid that
topic if at all possible.

"Justin, Wade and I talked today.  There is a lot more to Wade than meets
the eye.  You and he are gonna have to have a talk.  A real talk.  I think
once you do, things will be a lot clearer."

As much as you tried to hide it, Justin picked up on the anxiety in your
voice.  "What is it Gary?  What the hell did Wade say to you?"

You were grateful that Lonnie approached and interrupted the conversation.
"Justin, we need to leave now.  There's a crowd outside and its not gonna
get any smaller.  I want to get you out of here while I can."

Justin was filled with guilt.  He knew how he has spoken to Lonnie earlier
and realized how he must have sounded.  He was angry and Lonnie happened to
be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Listen Lonnie. I'm sorry for what I said earlier.  You know I didn't mean
it," he said apologetically.

Lonnie smiled at the young man whom he had watched grow up.  The kid had a
heart of gold and Lonnie knew that he earlier words were spoken out of
frustration.

"Just get your sorry white ass in the car before I let that mob of girls
have a piece of you.  You know, you damn kids are more trouble than your
worth.  I'm getting to old for this shit."

Justin smiled slightly as he made his way unsteadily toward the door.  He
and Lonnie were fine.  If Lonnie was complaining, then things were back to
normal.

TBC...any comments can be directed to Dannibailey@hotmail.com