Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2001 07:23:19 -0600
From: Danni Bailey <dannibailey@hotmail.com>
Subject: Decisions - Chapter 27

Disclaimer:  Yes, there are homosexual themes.....No I don't know the guys.

Note:  I would like to take just a minute to say a huge thank you to those
people who have been so encouraging to me while this whole process was
taking place.  Scor and Dennis, my two knights in shining armor, your
support means more to me than you realize.  Dara, you're an incredible
writer, QUIT YOUR DAY JOB!.  Raymond, Casper, Casey, Carrie and Shadwmage7,
you kind words are very much appreciated.  Thanks for reading!


Chapter 27

Danny was wide-eyed as he carried his bag into JC's hotel room.  He had
grown up in a small town outside of Atlanta, and although his family had
been far from poor, he was not accustomed to such luxuries.

"Do you guys, always stay in places like this?" he asked.

JC chuckled.  "Well, Manhattan tends to be a bit more upscale that most of
the cities we visit, but on this past tour we've tended to stay in nicer
places than we have in the past.  When we first started out, we shared hotel
rooms.  We switched off so that each guy would get a room to himself, well
except for Justin, he always had to room with someone."

"And now you each get your own room?" Danny inquired.

"Yeah, Chris and Danni have a room and so do Justin and Gary, but other than
that we all have separate rooms.  Half the time we end up sleeping in each
other's rooms anyway, but we're all "assigned" our own room, in case we need
some space."

JC stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed.

"Danny, I know there is a lot we need to talk about, and we will I promise,
but right now I think we could both use some sleep."

Danny joined him, being cautious to keep his distance, knowing that his
desires for Josh could easily cloud his decisions.

JC rolled over and placed his arm across Danny's chest.  "Nothing more than
this, you have my word," he said sensing Danny's nervousness.

Within minutes, JC drifted off to sleep.  Danny was not so lucky, as the sun
was rising when he finally succumbed to exhaustion.


The sounds of nurses scurrying in the hall woke Justin.  It took him a few
minutes to get his bearings.  As uncomfortable as the recliner was, he had
managed to sleep soundly during the night and was somewhat surprised to find
himself still in your room.  He stretched, tying to get some of the
stiffness out of his body when a nurse entered the room.

"You're a pretty sound sleeper.  I don't think you woke up once when we came
in to check on him."

"Actually, I can fall asleep anywhere, but I usually don't sleep very well.
I guess I was just really tired."

He looked over and noticed how peaceful you looked.  "How's he doing?"

"He seems to be doing fine.  He needed some pain medication last night, but
that's to be expected.  His vital signs were stable all night, which is a
good sign.  Dr. Waters will be in shortly to check on him and he'll be able
to give you better idea of his condition.  My guess is that by tonight he'll
be in a private room.

As the nurse was finishing up, Mark entered your room, looking like he
hadn't slept at all.

"You look like shit." Justin commented.

"Thanks Justin, that's just what I needed to hear this morning.  Listen,
Johnny and the rest of the mob is in the waiting room.  How about you join
them while I do some poking and prodding?"

Justin's face turned serious.

"Relax, will you.  I'm not gonna hurt him.  I just need to check on a few
things.  And by the way, that was a nice move last night, falling asleep in
here.  You knew damn well, I couldn't get your ass out here once you were
sleeping.

Justin's eyes lit up.  "Come on Mark, its not like I planned it," he said
innocently.

"Bullshit!  I know you better than that.  Now go on down to the waiting room
and when I'm finished here I'll give you an update."

Justin had a hard time not smiling as he made his way down the hall.  He
really hadn't planned it, but it sure as hell turned out to his advantage.

Mark had been right.  The whole gang was waiting and fired questions at him
as soon as he hit the door.

"Hold on guys!  I can't understand what any of you are saying.  You're all
talking at the same time."

"Sorry, J." Lance said.  "We just all want to know how Gary's doing?"

"Mark's with him now, and he said he'd give us an update, but I think he's
doing really good.  He was awake last night when I first got to his room and
he even said a couple of words, so I'd say that's encouraging."

"It sure sounds like it," Johnny concluded  "and we couldn't be happier
Justin.  I think we all said a few extra prayers last night."

The group talked excitedly for a few minutes before Johnny interrupted.
"Justin, I know this isn't a good time, but we need to discuss tonight.  We
have a contractual agreement with HBO.  If we have to break that contract,
we will, but we need to make a decision.  And I think that decision is
yours.  Do we do it or not?"

The room fell silent and all eyes were on Justin. With all that had gone on
since the accident, he had not even considered the concert.  They had
already postponed one concert.  Canceling the HBO concert would be damaging
to their careers to say the least.  If it was just him, the choice would be
simple, but he had other people to think about.  His four best friends,
Johnny, his family and yes you, the love of his life.

"Johnny, I promised myself that my career would never come before Gary and
now you're asking me to leave him while he's in intensive care.  I don't
think I can do that."

He looked at his friends.  "I'm sorry."

Mark joined them in the waiting room, somewhat surprised by the somber mood.

"I thought you guys would be in much better spirits considering Gary is
doing better. Did I miss something here?"

Chris spoke up.  "We're gonna cancel tonight's show.  Justin feels like he
needs to be with Gary while he's in intensive care, and the rest of us
agreed up front that if Justin couldn't make it, then we wouldn't do the
show."

Mark put his arm around Justin's shoulder.  "Justin, you know he in good
hands here, don't you?

Justin nodded.  "I know he is, but damn I can't just walk out on him.  What
if something happens while I'm gone?  I'd never forgive myself.

"I understand that." Mark agreed. "Listen, he's awake now.  Why don't you go
down and visit him for a few minutes before you decide."

Justin's face lit up.  "He's awake?"

Mark smiled. "Yes, I think some sleep did him a world of good.  He's much
stronger than he was last night.  Go see for yourself."

Your body ached, but nothing compared to the pounding in your head, and the
constant beeping of the monitors around you irritated you more and more with
each passing minute.  You tried to remember the past 24 hours, but your
memory of the events were vague.  You remembered leaving the hotel and the
young police officer who had aided you at the scene of the accident.  And
then there was Justin, right by your side last night.  The touch of your
hand on his face had put you at ease.  Justin always had the effect on you.

You had closed your eyes for only a brief moment when you heard footsteps in
your room.  You opened them slowly still fighting off the effects of last
night painkiller and saw Justin trying desperately to pull the recliner next
to your bed without making the slightest noise.  When he turned and saw your
open eyes, guilt covered his face.

"I'm so sorry. I was trying to be quiet."

"It's okay, I wasn't sleeping.  Just resting a bit.  The shot last night
still has me a little groggy I guess."

He lowered the rail on the bed and eased himself down carefully as he sat,
taking every precaution not to disturb you.  He gently kissed your lips and
suddenly the pounding in your head subsided.

"HHmmm, that seems to have help a whole lot more than the shot did last
night," you informed him."

Justin finally smiled a true smile.  "Well, there's plenty more where that
came from, but I think you'll have to settle for that right now.   I'm sure
Mark wouldn't be too happy if I kissed the way I really want to kiss you
right now."

He took a deep breath.

"You scared the hell out of me last night.  I just kept thinking about all
the plans we had made for the future.  I realized I can't live without you.
My life would be meaningless."

"Justin, you never have to worry about that.  We'll always be together.  I
promise."

You could see your words had done little to improve his mood, then you
remembered what Mark had told you.

"Hey, guess what.  Mark says if I take it real easy today, that he'll bring
in a TV tonight so that I can watch the concert.  I don't know if I can make
it through the whole show, but I know I can last until you sing Promises."

Justin's somber expression hadn't changed.  "Gary, there isn't gonna be a
show tonight. We're canceling."

"Why?  This is a once in a lifetime chance."

"Gary, I pulled out of the show.  I'm not doing it."

"Because of me?"

Justin nodded.  "Yeah, I'm not leaving you."

"Like hell you're not.  We've both worked our butts off on this tour.
Tonight millions of people are gonna tune in to watch.  Show them what our
hard work is all about.  Show them there is not another group out there that
puts on a show like this.  They bought 2.4 million copies of your CD the
first week.  A lot of those people will never be able to see you perform
live.  You owe them this concert.

Justin's voice was loud now.  "And what about all that I owe you.  When all
is said and done, what really matters?  NSYNC won't be around forever.  You
will be."

Normally, you would try to talk logically with him.  Get him to understand
your point of view, but you were too exhausted.  As much as you hated to do
it, you had to play your trump card.

"Justin, if you love me, you'll do the concert, and give them a show they'll
talk about for a long, long time."

"Gary, that's not fair," he argued.

You smiled at him, knowing you had accomplished your goal.  "I never agreed
to play fair."

Mark opened the door just enough to stick his head.  "Justin, Johnny is
getting ready to address the press about tonight.  He wants to know if you
want to be there with the rest of them.

He looked at you and you gave him a quick wink. "Do the right thing Justin."

He said nothing but hurried to join the others in the makeshift conference
room.  They had already positioned themselves behind the podium and as
Johnny said 'good morning' the room fell silent.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you already know, two members of our staff were
injured yesterday in a car accident.  Lonnie, one of the guys' bodyguards
was treated and released.  The other staff member, Gary Martin, who is our
tour technician, has not been so lucky and is currently in the critical
intensive care unit of this hospital.  For that reason we have decided......

Justin interrupted. "Ummm.. for that reason we have decided to make the HBO
special our best show ever and dedicate it to Gary.  He's worked long and
hard for this tour and this one's for him. Now if you will excuse us, we
have a show to get ready for."

Justin felt his knees go weak and he spoke and didn't even notice the
incessant camera flashes.  His eyes filled with tears, but he made a
conscience effort not to let anyone see.  His friends surrounded him
offering words of support.  They knew his decision had not been an easy one.

Johnny's huge arms enveloped Justin and he could feel the young man
trembling.

"You okay son?"

"I'm not sure," Justin confided.  "Gary told me to do the right thing.  I'm
just not convinced that I did."

"You did, and dedicating the show to Gary was a great idea.  I'm sure it
will mean a lot to him."

"I love him Johnny, and his getting better is totally out of my hands.  I
feel so useless."

"Don't be ridiculous, Justin.  He was you as a reason to get better.
Remember, it goes both ways.  He loves you too."

Justin smiled slightly as Johnny continued.  "Listen we're heading over to
the Garden.  Wade has a few things he wants to go over.   Spend some time
with Gary and meet us down there is time for the sound check.

"Thanks, Johnny"

"No, thank you Justin.  I know tonight won't be easy, but we all appreciate
what you've done."



You could see the top of his blonde curls peaking around the corner, as he
quietly opened the door not wanting to disturb you.  When he saw you were
awake a look of relief came over his face.

"Gary, do you feel up to talking for a few minutes?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm not sure," you teased him.  "What's the topic?"

He gently sat on the edge of the bed and took your hand in his. "I told them
I'd do the concert."

"I knew you'd do the right thing.  You just needed a little coaxing."

"Coaxing hell.   You brought out the big guns.  It's not like you left me
with much of a choice," he reminded you.

You smiled slightly.  "You had choices, but I was pretty sure which way
you'd go.  I'm proud of you."

"I can't stay.  Wade has a few things to go over before the concert."  He
leaned over and gently kissed your cheek.  "Get some rest.  I'll be back as
soon as the concert is over."

Within minutes you drifted off to sleep, and didn't wake up until you could
hear Mark softly calling your name.

"Gary, it's almost time for Promises.  Do you feel up to watching it?"

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," you answered still fighting off sleep.

You opened your eyes in time to see the platform rising and the band playing
the first few notes of the song.  Justin smiled into the camera lens and
sent you his message.  "I hope you're watching tonight, cuz this one's for
you."

TBC     Comments to Dannibailey@hotmail.com