Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 00:50:48 -0400 From: Myka Holly Subject: Dirty Little Secrets Disclaimer: This does not mean to imply anything about the sexualities of anyone mentioned in this story ('NSync). If you are not at least 18 years of age, you should be leaving now. If you are offended by homosexual material, why the hell are you at Nifty? I'm another female author. Peace and hair grease, MyKa * * * * * Justin laid in his bed staring at his sleeping best friend, Joshua Chasez. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he looked on. He clasped his hands together on his chest, praying silently. 'God, why am I like this? Why do I have to love him so much? You say it's a sin to be gay but then why am I like this? I didn't choose to be like this. I want to be straight. I want to be normal. Why can't I just be normal?! God, I love him so much. He's straight. He could never feel the same way about me. Are you trying to teach me something, Lord?' He prayed in his head, still staring at JC. JC began to stir in his sleep. His eyes fluttered open as he woke from his sleep. He glanced at the clock. It read 2:00. He smiled weakly at Justin. "No sleep again tonight?" he asked, knowing the answer. "Yea," Justin responded, sighing. "You can still catch a few hours of sleep, ya know." JC said with a hint of sympathy in his voice. "I don't think I could sleep after watching that movie," Justin said in reference to the movie he and JC had watched a few hours earlier. "I'd probably have nightmares." "You didn't have to watch it, ya know?" JC said grinning. "I know, but I wanted to," Justin said, smiling back at JC. "You wanna sleep with me tonight? I can protect you from the monsters." Justin smiled at JC's concern. He thought JC would have laughed at him. He stood up and walked over to JC's bed. He crawled in JC's bed next to JC and snuggled closely to JC. "Thanks." JC smiled contently running his fingers through Justin's curly hair. He wrapped his arms around Justin's back, pulling him closer. He rubbed his hands up and down Justin's back. Justin closed his eyes and savored the feel of JC's hands on his body and JC's body against his. He closed his eyes and rested his head on JC's chest with a smile gracing his face. JC closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. He couldn't sleep. His mind was on other things. Namely, Justin. For the past few weeks he hadn't been able to get his mind off of Justin. The teen with the beautiful body and angelic face occupied his mind almost every minute of the day. The young boy even occupied his fantasies as JC jacked off. Now he found himself laying in bed with Justin's warm body pressed against his. His mind was going wild, wondering if he should make a move on this handsome youth. Justin's mind was screaming at him to just tell JC how he felt about him but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. 'C'mon! Just do it! Tell him you love him. Maybe he'll love you back. Maybe he's gay too. Maybe he's scared that you'll hate him.' 'No! He'll hate me! He won't want to be near me again! I teased Lance too much about being gay. JC would think I was a hypocrite and a liar. He'd hate me! He'd tell the guys and they'd all hate me!' his mind argued. 'He won't hate me. I'm his best friend. He could never hate me. I have to tell him sooner or later, so why not tell him now and get it over with?' 'No, he'll hate me!' He didn't have the courage to tell JC he loved him. He was scared of how JC would react. He didn't think he could live if JC hated him. He looked up into JC's gorgeous blue eyes. JC's gaze washed all his fear away and filled him with the courage he needed to finally admit he was in love with JC. "JC, I need to tell you something..." * * * * * Okay, I know it was short but this is just a sneak peak. I'm only gonna finish this if people like it so e-mail me and tell me what you think. Also, the author of the story that has Justin and Chris as a couple needs to e-mail me. Same with the authors of the stories that have Chris and Joey as a couple. And if there's any other authors that have stories where the couple isn't Justin and JC or Lance and JC or Justin and Lance, e-mail me. And the authors of the Justin and JC stories please e-mail me. Those stories are my fav. I've read these stories a few times but I forgot the titles and I want to read the stories again. Also, I'm looking for an editor and a co-author. That's if people like this story. Please e-mail me. Myka_Holly@ureach.com OR Mykaholly@aol.com