Date: Wed, 4 Aug 1999 02:16:27 EDT
From: WriterGray@aol.com
Subject: Don't Want You Back

This is a story contains graphic depictions of sexual encounters between two
males (or it soon will). If you are located where it is illegal to view such
material leave now. If you are under 18 years of age, it is at this time
advised that you also leave. The author does not claim to have any personal
knowledge of the sexuality Backstreet Boy's if they are gay or straight it
is their own personal decision to reveal such knowledge to you and not
mine. Ok enough of that. In other words, if I knew I wouldn't tell and
since I don't; I won't tell either.

Authors notes:
Ok everyone here is another new story by me. For those of you confused, yes
this is Grayson from BSB-Magic.  I will be continuing that story, but I had
a good idea; I had to use it or I was going to burst.  If you like this,
let me know!  I want to keep writing it, but if it is not well liked, I
will drop the story line. This story as well as several of my other ones
are currently being edited by Fernie or better know as Moogleray. Thanks
again.
Writergray@aol.com


Don't Want You Back

Part1

`A Day Like No Other'

By Grayson Scott Vellar
Edited by Fernie


`I'm not that bad, am I?' I asked myself as I looked in the mirror sitting
on my desk. `Hazel eyes are something I admire in a man.'  I looked at my
hair closely.  `Brown is not such a bad color if you think about it. Now if
I would get it cut more often maybe....'  I looked down to my chest and
flexed my arms.  `I know I have not worked out in months, but I can't have
lost that much tone.' I was depressed, and it had nothing to do with my
looks.  Actually, I had been told I was quite a catch. Too bad I had not
been caught up with, or even been chased, in quite a while. I was single
again, it hurt, and here I sat ripping myself apart.

Only 6 months ago, I did not doubt myself. I was on top of the world I had
finally found my way into the hearts of every teenage girl in America I had
planned the next big Backstreet Boys video. It at the time of the pitch was
to be a huge undertaking. Of course, Glenn had never heard of me before the
night that we met and I had obviously never heard of him either. To my
demise though, I was just another conquest to be had on his part. I wish I
had known that one fact ahead of time. Then again, if I had known I would
have been using him and not the other way around.

You see, we met about 7 months ago at a club. The music was pumping into
the room at high-energy high thrum and bass rate. It seemed to me, this was
the life of most club goers: normal. For him, it was the life of a player
executive. I had a dream and he was to give me my shot. But, with his favor
also came heartache. The knife in my back, and his was being turned, and
neither of us knew who was doing the turning. I had been dreaming of the
Backstreet Boys ever since their first CD released and I wanted to meet
them at all costs. I had taken it upon myself then to make sure I got every
CD release possible. Good, bad, bad or indifferent I wanted to be part of
the healing of the heart and the world. The Japanese release of Millennium
came out a month before the American release and I fell in love all over
again. They had done it yet again, my heart and mind fell again for the
boy's of summer.

On an average day, I guess I listened to `Don't Want You Back' about
twenty-five times; on a shortened day not much less. I had a whole picture
in my mind as to what the video should be. It was one of those moments,
when you know something is right, because you can see it in your mind. It
was like seeing it as a movie being played.

He giggled, he sparkled in the eyes, and he had made all the right moves. I
was instantly falling in love with him. Glenn was my world he got me the
job I needed to make my dreams a reality. He got me started and I was
ending his career. I wanted him so bad, once he had me the nightmare
began. Sure, it was only a short time ago. But, once he had my total
concept for the video, he let my heart go, and tried to kill the
creator. He cheated, he lied, and he broke my heart. I was convinced it was
my fault. I let him, I allowed it, and it was my own fault. I was
destroying his manly career by taking it all away. He never tried to love
me. I loved him, and trying to go back would only mean self-admittance of
defeat without him. I was convinced; I was not allowed to love him. I
sighed and focused on my work trying not to think these dastardly thoughts
any more.

Glenn and I had broken up over three weeks ago, but it remained on my
mind. It hurt and it would never go away. I was always blaming myself for
it happening. But in my hear it know it was not all my own fault. Even if I
managed to forget about him, I could never replace the hole in my own
heart.  Here I sat alone now, trying to contemplate the video shot I had to
work on next week. I was one of the coordinators for the external dance
scenes.  I needed to figure out how to interpret the scene according to the
song, not my emotions.  Unfortunately for me, it was going to be hard the
song itself had an entirely different meaning than what I had seen in my
head.  `I want him back,' I thought to myself.  "No, you want the love that
you felt and gave back,' that internal voice answered me.

The video itself was to be for the Backstreet Boy's 'Don't Want You Back'.
All I had to do was break the concept out into the open.  The other
designers had come up with some good scenes for earlier in the song.
However, my total attitude for the song was different.  I knew that if I
made too many changes, the ideal concept would be lost. I had pitched my
idea to them a month ago and they had loved it. But now, all I wanted to do
was have a scene where the guy really did want the person back but didn't
know how to tell her. I had played the scenes over repeatedly in my mind.
They were so clear I could see them as a movie.

I had to keep telling myself that I was not doing this to get Glenn back
but to make myself known.  I had to believe that somehow!

I began to drift, remembering Manerva telling me the concept would be
changed if I could not get it together.  She, for some reason, seemed to
want me to fail, but that didn't make since.  She was the only other person
besides Glenn to push me to be here. I would certainly have to fight her on
changing the concept; I had to make my point to the world known that I was
here to stay.  She was right about falling behind though, and I knew it.  I
had not gotten together with the dancers yet, and they were all waiting for
instruction on what they had to do.  I would certainly remedy that problem
quickly as I had written for Fatima to help me out here.  I was the
designer, sure, but over all I had done nothing but concept, and here we
were only a week away.  `Thank god for Fatima,' I thought.  Then Glenn's
face popped into my head agreeing with Manerva.

"What was I thinking?" I asked out loud, thinking I was alone.

"You thought you were in love, and now you have realized you were."  Glenn
said as he stood in my doorway.  I was frozen in my chair, speechless as he
now walked completely in and sat down in the chair facing me.  `And so it
begins,' that voice said to me as I stared at Glenn, shaking it off.  I had
loved him, he was right.  But after all, we went through. All I had left
was confusion and regret of a past I could not change.  Still, there he sat
with his cocky grin and blue eyes staring at me. His blonde hair laid
tussled from a long night of no sleep, no doubt, as he still had that
Cheshire Cat Grin.

"You are too late now.  You realize that you want me back.  But, you know
that can't because of the things we have said and done to one another." he
said, a steady calm in his tone.  I was half-tempted to run, but I had to
fight! I had confusion going on in my head, yes, but I had to take a stand
now.

"If memory serves me correctly, it was you who made the mistakes.  I
stayed; I tried to make it work.  You cheated, lied, and ran off," I said
calmly as Manerva walked in next. She stood silently, closing the door
halfway as she remained inside. I was sure I was being ambushed but as
usual, they were in control and I had to wait for my time.

"Michael you have to get past this or this project of yours is sunk. I
think we should try and put someone else on the shot. You have done very
well, better that we expected for a fan of the group." She said now as she
closed the door completely.

She was referring back to the thought of how I had created this
concept. While I had not been working for them at the time, they insisted
that I take the job and prove my talents. It was the chance of a lifetime
and I was not willing to give it up. Just because Glenn worked for them
first was not going to mean he would win out. It was my time, my idea, and
my drive that would put everything back on track. I stood up and walked
over to the door.  They both stared at me as I opened it and stood silent.
My thoughts now regained, I started to leave only to turn back. `I have to
make myself known,' I thought.

"If you will excuse me I have a friend coming over to help with the dance
scenes for Monday. She is quite familiar with the group you know." They
both stared at me at a loss. "Fatima. You know the woman you said was an
unsure expense on this video. She has listened to me every night for the
last couple of weeks, and has agreed to take the job. Especially since she
is dance coordinator for the group itself. She is very excited about what I
have said to her so far." Both their jaws dropped as Manerva quickly made
her way out and walked down the hallway.

"Michael, you can't win this battle you're fighting. Just give up, you will
lose this like you lost me. Your disinterested attitude will get you in
over your head, and you will be the laughing stock around here. Just give
in and let me take over the shoot." He knew that he could not take over
unless I agreed he was better prepared. I had a clause put into my contract
stating so. Well, it was more along the line of if someone else being found
to be more competent to perform my job. I would agree to let them have the
opportunity if I could not do it myself. But I would fight tooth and nail
to keep it.

"Glenn, you have had your fifteen minutes, now get off the stage. It is
time the new generation show you how it's done," Fatima said as she walked
into the office. I was in shock, having no idea they knew each other. She
smiled broadly as she hugged me. "Your intercom is turned on, and everyone
is listening outside," she whispered to me.  I had a wicked thought cross
my mind.

"Admit it, Glenn, you just want me out because we have had our past, you
want..no, you desire to have my talents. Our time is through! You're the
one who can't handle the reality that you slept with that bus boy. You're
the one who can't handle being left for your own inadequacies," I said, as
I heard a gasp come from the outer office. "Too bad you found out he was
seventeen after the fact," I stated as his anger grew and he stormed out
screaming.

"If it is to be like this, then war it is Michael!"

There were cheers from the outer office as I saw Mr. Miliken following him
down the hall. I wished right then that we could listen to that
conversation. Mr. Miliken was not a man of few or even fair words. But, I
personally had managed to get him on my side early on. All I had to do was,
be myself, and stand up to him, along with everyone else. There now, was a
matter of respect between us. Fatima looked at me as my mood immediately
changed. I realized what I had just done. I had ruined the smallest chance
of mending the fence between Glenn and I.

"Sit down, Mike," she said as she punched the intercom button, turning it
off. "You're better than him, I know that Mike. You and I are friends, and
I do not like to see friends hurt. So, we will have to make sure nothing
happens to you." She said, as she placed a hand on mine, while sitting
across from one another at the desk.

"Thanks, but I do not know how we are going to make all this happen," I
said looking at our hands.

"Well, first we are going to take your mind off him, by getting you ready
to help me get those dancers moving in the right directions," she said as
she stood up and walked towards the door. "Well, are you coming?" I shook
my head, grabbed the concept scripts and folders, and headed out the door
with her.

"We should go meet up with the dancers now," she said as we walked out into
the parking lot. I was about to tell her they were not to be here until
Monday, until I noticed a large crowd had gathered outside the building. A
limousine was parked silently, waiting for us as we approached it. I was
not sure what she was up to, but from the looks of it we were going to be
in need of security just to get into the thing.

"Get your car and follow me.  The dancers know where we are meeting and
will be there shortly," she said as I walked to my car and watched which
car she climbed into. The limousine still sat quietly. I was so curious I
was at a loss now. 'Who the hell could that be for?' I asked myself as
Fatima waited at the exit for me. I quickly pulled my Ford Explorer behind
her, and we were on our way across town. Before I knew what was happening,
the limousine was passing me on my left. I could see a shadow peering out
at me as it passed, but gave it no thought as I continued to watch Fatima's
car.

As we entered a gated area, I was becoming well aware that this was a
warehouse, not a dance studio. The limousine from earlier was parked next
to the door but appeared to be pulling away as the door closed. I was
quickly getting nervous as we pulled up and parked in front of the door
ourselves. As I exited the car, I gave her a questioning look, which she
grinned back at.

"Oh, I didn't tell you! Well, today you will be working in one of my
private studios. It's well secluded and serves a better purpose when I want
to hide something," she said as she opened the door and stepped inside,
closing it quickly. I was at a loss; she had not even tried to hold it open
for me. `What was she up too?' I thought as I stood there staring at the
closed door.

"You know, it won't open automatically," a familiar voice said from behind
me. I turned to see who it was but had no recollection of his identity. I
shrugged, grabbed the handle, and headed inside, holding the door open for
the stranger. I noticed immediately he had a nice figure; very well put
together overall. If it had not been for the cocky grin and baseball cap, I
would have probably taken a better look.

"I see you made it Brian, nice to have you show." Howie D said from the
other side of the large room. I almost lost it then, as I realized I had
just blew off my chance of making an impression on Brian.

'Oh well,' I thought as I heard a commotion coming from the connecting
room. There was a sudden crash as Howie ran to the doorway. Brian and I
made our way across the room to see what was going on.

"Great, Nick, you knocked over the rack again. Now she is going to kick
your ass!" Howie shouted as I was again in shock.

"Even?" Brian asked.  I was confused. "The first impressions we all make
are not what we always want them to be," he said.

"I.. You're right.. How did you know?" I was amazed; he knew what I was
thinking.

"Long story, but after a while of meeting people you get used to knowing
what they are thinking at first. At least until they relax. That is how it
is for me when I meet people." Howie and Nick both looked up at us and
laughed as Fatima had a look of horror on her face. I began to laugh, but
as she turned her eyes on me, I stopped immediately. Brian was now laughing
while standing next to me. I was wondering where the other two were if
these three were here.

"You two are going to clean this up," she said, to Nick and Howie as she
walked back out into the main room. I laughed harder now as she walked
away. Brian and I helped Howie and Nick put the rack upright and hung the
costumes back on it. I was amazed, Fatima seemed to have put together the
costumes for the video and had been holding them here for me. She
apparently was more involved in the concept than I thought she would be.

"Fatima, I don't know how you did." I was walking back in to talk to her,
but stopped, looking at her having a conversation with two of the
best-looking men I have ever seen in my life. Kevin looked over at me
quickly and grinned as AJ continued to talk. AJ stood his ground and waved
at me. It seemed familiar to me somehow, as if we knew each other. I waved
back as Kevin walked over and shook my hand. I was starstruck, but composed
myself. I had to look like a pro or I was going to blow it. Of course, I
was melting into his eyes as I looked at him again.

"Kevin Richardson," he said as his voice rang through and brushed my soul
instantly, snapping me back to reality.

"Michael Vallery, pleased to meet you." I said as I caught his eyes
straight on.

"Likewise.  We are just going over finishing questions about what all this
is about. I hear you're the one who came up with what we are going to be
filming," he said, as inside I was spinning looking at him I almost lost
it. I wanted him to hug me just once as I stood there. I could feel his
arms around me holding comforting me. I wanted to melt into his arms and
feel the protection he exuded.

"Are you alright?" Fatima asked, as she walked up to us.

"Yeah can we talk for a sec, I have some questions. We need to get them
caught up to the changes I have just made." AJ shot a look at me quickly.
"Changes?" he asked.  I nodded my head at him as Fatima walked me into an
empty office.

"I can't do this," I said, as I stood motionless, still seeing Kevin's eyes
in the back of my mind.

"You can, all you have to do is be his friend first." I was shocked that
she said this so calmly.

"What?"

"Kevin has had an affect on you; I knew it would happen. So, what did you
want to talk about?" she asked, as I stood still, letting her words sink
in.

"Kevin has had what affect on me? I mean I just met him. Besides, he is not
going to be interested in me. I am a suit to him that's all. Hell, he is so
out of my league! I would really like to get to know him though," I said,
trying to sort out the thoughts now forming in my mind.

"You are human, so is he. Why couldn't it happen? I think you two would be
good together after you became friends," she said.

"Fatima, I am just a fan to them. A fan that created a video out of pure
anxiety and desire. A person who created a video out of the desire to be
desired that way. I have to act like none of those things matter, or they
won't respect me at all. I have to admit though I would love to." I drifted
off thinking in my own world.

"So, what are the changes you want to make? I know this is going to be big,
because all you have done is talk about this video since they decided not
to use me. Heck, that's why we started talking in the first place," she
said, drawing me back to the matter at hand.

"Okay, originally I wanted to convey that AJ didn't want the girl
back. But, I don't want that to be the case. I want him to say the words
but not mean them. I want the audience to see that. I want the other guys
to be kind of telling him in a way get over her move on, but not
openly. Kind of a good-versus-evil.  In the end, AJ is still AJ, and the
guys will be standing there in the dark clothes and such as AJ walks
away. No chase, no depression, just him making his own mind up," I said as
she observed my entire thought, and then looked away quickly. "Sort of a
open ending for the audience to make up their own mind whether he got her
back or not." I drifted off, thinking about this morning and my decisions
to make life more interesting by getting rid of Glenn completely.

"You are a quick study, Michael. I see you are feeling better about all
that has happened with Glenn, and it is going to affect this video. I am
glad we did this. Now, I have to plan the dance sequences around the
flashbacks you are going to be writing tonight," she said now grinning at
me. "Okay, a little secret is coming to mind here. AJ and I were just
talking, and he wants the same video you described. You two should work
well together on this. I bet you become friends too," she said as she
walked past me to the other room. I had not realized that I had not closed
the door, and there the guys stood. They each looked like they were going
to burst out in laughter as they saw my expression. Kevin was blushing as I
looked directly at him, trying to figure out what was running through his
mind. I had to break the silence as AJ mouthed to me to say something.

"So..." I said hoping a gun would pop up and I would be shot.

"So, there's a good start," AJ responded.

"You guys have any idea as to how to dance to this, or do I show you that
too?" I asked in a mock condescending tone of voice. I was still nervous as
I walked towards them.

"Oh god, he sounds like AJ already," Nick laughed out. Everyone joined in
as Fatima turned the volume up on the music she was playing. 'Of course, it
was the song we had to practice'.

"Does she always do this kind of thing, or am I just special?" I asked
still trying to break through.

"Special, yes." Kevin said. `But not so special that you are out of my
league,' he thought as he stared at me even still.

"Thanks Kevin," I said as I approached him. We all now stood just outside
of the office.

"You know."  `Here I go,' I thought.  "I was thinking maybe." I couldn't do
it.  I just couldn't.

"Oh, never mind.  We should practice or something," I said as I looked
around at all of them. Brian was giving me a confused look, as if to tell
me to say whatever it was. But I just couldn't. Fatima was right, I had to
know him better, and besides, I am not usually the one to make the first
move. I decided it was time to put this show together. We all stood
silently, looking at Fatima as she sat facing away from us now staring at
the wall thinking about the song.

"Okay guys, want to do something to confuse and annoy the crazy lady?" I
asked while I was staring at the back of her head. Kevin half-threw his
hand up, to say `I'm not doing this'. AJ and Howie, along with Nick, agreed
as Brian sided with Kevin.

"Okay, well then follow me, and be prepared because this has to go fast."
Fatima was sitting with her back to us as I got AJ, Nick, and Howie to
stand next to one another. "All you have to do is follow my lead." Nick
looked at me and giggled as Kevin just stared at me.

"Just flow with the music, sort of like this," I said as I listened to the
end of the song pumping through the speakers. "Okay, the only time you will
relax the moves is during the chorus. In every other part to the song, you
will be making harsh movements. Like this." I explained as I tightened my
back, straightened my legs, began using my arms to form poses that changed
with the beat.

"Listen, here is the beginning of the song.  In the video, you are breaking
up with her AJ. `Don't want you back' Feel bad at first sight, but don't
let on.  `You hit me faster like a shark attack.' Throw the poses, hard
mean the words!" I said while posing and holding as AJ began to try the
moves.

"Okay, so here when you sing 'Backstreet's Back', I want all of you to pop
into a kind of chest out pose, like this." I popped into the a few poses
before the line hit, and then I was standing there, looking like a soldier
going off to war.  "I know you're mocking yourselves. But it will look
right with the rest of the song."

I looked around at them and they all agreed by nodding their heads.

"OK, Nick starts his line here. Keep moving and look hard up, Nick. When
the sexuality line hits make it a point to look extremely mouthy, like
this," I mouthed; overdoing it and making him laugh slightly. I had not
noticed, but Fatima was now watching us as Kevin and Brian now observed
with interest in my ideas. I lipped the words as AJ gladly followed the
thought and stood next to me, doing the moves somewhat stylized for him. We
continued practicing, and the song started again. I was still working on AJ
and Nick, but I noticed Howie making the moves himself. I was suddenly glad
that this was going as good as it was.

"OK, remember chest out at `Backstreet's Back!'" I said as the line came
up, and no sooner, we were back at Nick again.

"Nick, I want you to stay where you are, but move forwards when your part
starts. You have to glide and pop and slide and step and there you have
it. Make sure you kind of do the manly chest out during your line. Remember
it is to mock, not to make serious. Look, I know it is different but the
whole idea is based on the visual and the odd." I demonstrated while he
watched and grinned as Fatima walked up to us.

"What are you grinning at, Nicky?  Get busy, he is right. Anything else you
want to fill us in on, oh wise one?" She asked mocking me. I looked at her
and took a position she knew, as we began to swing dance off beat to the
music. She immediately began laughing as I spun her out, and then crossed
over as she stood motionless for seconds until I snapped her back into
me. As the next chorus started, I saw the guys trying the types of moves I
wanted for the video. I grinned; Fatima knew what I was thinking.

"We need them to see themselves do this.  It will be more believable if
they see it," she said as she motioned towards the opposite wall of
mirrors. I began to laugh as the guys looked at me questioningly.

"It's the lithium," I said as they just shook their heads at me. I looked
on as Fatima turned them all around and faced them towards the mirrors. As
she restarted the song, she motioned me into line with the rest of the
guys. I could not believe this.  Here I was, dancing with the Backstreet
Boys and all because I had a big mouth.

"Okay, follow Michael's lead." I shot her a death stare, which she shot
down with her more powerful version. I figured what the hell, I have made a
fool of myself before, and I think I can do this. I quickly ran to the back
room and pushed the rack of costumes out into the main room.  Everyone was
watching me intently as I put on a boulder and a pair of round lens
reflective sunglasses. AJ grinned at me as I stepped in front to show him
his part, popping and gliding to the beat. No one was following my lead
while I made each step complete with hand body, and constant audience
taunting. Fatima was grinning; I watched her through my covered eyes.
Kevin watched intently as he was the first to start the moves. I noticed
his uneasiness as he jittered about the floor, and then it happened: we
made contact somehow through my covered eyes as he started to follow me,
and not look at my body or the mechanics.

Fatima clapped now as she got the idea and started to work with Brian and
Nick leaving me with Kevin AJ and Howie. As the Backstreet's Back line came
up, everyone did as I said earlier, and Fatima lost it. They were getting
so much information at once that they had the idea and the moves
flowing. Of course, none of them were in time to one another, and that was
what I wanted as I suddenly had an idea.

"Fatima can we start the song over?" I asked.  She gave me a questioning
look.

"Mike, why don't we take a break?  I can see the wheels turning in your
head already, and here is where I need to know what your up too." I
realized I had been doing all the choreography now, and had to listen. I
was interfering with her job.

"Lunch then?" I asked as I made a stretched hand movement, brushing against
Kevin's chest as I came around.

"Yes." With those words from her mouth, everyone but I cheered. I kept
moving for a minute, until the song was cut off by AJ.  As everyone began
to catcall and whistle, I turned around and flipped him off.

"Promises, promises," he shouted as I blushed.

Fatima walked over to me and knocked the boulder off my head.  I laughed as
she leaned into my ear. "Friends first.  Remember that, they are great
guys, but they each have personalities to contend with. I know. I have been
in your shoes. I met them when they first started; they are much more
relaxed now," She said as I looked at the guys who were now huddled up
talking. No doubt in my mind it had something to do with me, but I was not
ready to find out. As they turned, Nick, Brian, and AJ had devious looks on
their faces. Kevin was expressionless.

As we headed towards the door, I turned around and found them all to be
walking directly behind me. I quickly turned back around, opened the door,
and peaked out to make sure the coast was clear. Howie grinned as I turned
back and held my arm out showing them the way through. As Fatima stopped
next to me, I had the uneasy feeling I was in trouble.

"You're driving, and it is your choice where we are going," she said as she
slipped out the door. I was at a loss; I had only lived here for about six
months. 'Where the hell do I take these guys?' I thought to myself.

"Planet Hollywood, or is that too public for you guys?" I asked, hoping
they would choose somewhere else.  It was too close to the office as far as
I was concerned.

"That's fine with me," Fatima replied.  Kevin looked at everyone else and
then back to me. He didn't speak, just nodded his head at me. I still had
the sunglasses on, and could see Howie staring at me from the side. I was
immediately nervous at the thought of being under a microscope.

"So, I guess I am driving, since I was informed I was." I laughed as they
all looked at the grinning Fatima.

"Are we all going to fit?" Nick asked. Brian gave me a doubtful look as we
approached my car.

"You could always call a limousine," I said to him.  Kevin grabbed my arms
and pulled me off to the side.

"I want this be a low profile day, and if they keep complaining, then they
should have said something before we even considered going out." He looked
at me directly through my sunglasses. I reached up between our stares and
removed them to look at him directly.

"It will be as low profile as it can be with 7 people crammed into my
Explorer." He smiled as I turned to walk back over to the car.

"I bet they are all wondering what we were just talking about," I said,
hoping to start a conversation.

"I bet you're right," he said while climbing in the passenger seat.

"Interesting, Kevin.  I would have never guessed that Nick and Brian do
that. Thanks for the warning," I said, as he shot me a look of
confusion. AJ busted up in the back seat, as both Nick and Brain
immediately stopped talking to Howie and turned to face the front. I
noticed Fatima in direct line of my rear view mirror, grinning at me.
'OK,' I thought, 'there are at least two people who figured out that was
out of nowhere.'

"Just drive," Kevin said as he sat back and stared out the front window. As
we pulled out, I could see everyone else involved in conversations, and I
felt completely out of place. Kevin was still not talking as we headed out
onto the main strip. I was sure I had made a mistake, as he still said
nothing fifteen minutes into the drive.

"So, Michael, have you told the guys how you got this video deal yet?" I
heard Fatima ask.  I just looked at the traffic and tried to not answer
her. I was in no mood; I had made a mistake and pissed off Kevin, and it
bothered me. She grabbed my shoulder as well as Kevin's; pulling herself
forwards leaning into my ear.

"Deep in thought?" she asked, as I just shook my head yes. Kevin looked
over at us.  I could see he wanted to ask, but refrained, and went back to
his own thoughts. "Well, I asked you to tell them how you got the video
deal. I know you're not in the mood, but it would be a good way to let some
info about yourself surface, if you know what I mean," she said as I
uneasily contemplated her idea.

"Well, I got this job after I proposed the idea to a new friend while at a
club in California. We had only known each other short period and, well, we
hit it off immediately. Of course, at the time I had no idea he worked for
Miliken and Martin. But as luck would have it, I pitched it and got the
job, much to my own demise. I had no experience at putting these things
into action." Everyone was now listening contently as I continued. I
thought about telling the truth about Glenn, but was not sure how they
would handle it.  I looked back and saw Fatima shake her head for me to go
on, so I just went for it.

"Glenn helped me move my things into his place, but soon enough he cheated
on me. But we tried to make it work and got this in motion. Without his
help, I would have never made it this far. That was six months ago. To be
honest, the whole idea of this video was made while I listened to the
Japanese release of this song." Nick shot forwards.

"You mean you had not even heard the American release?" he asked.  I shook
my head. "Cool," he replied. Kevin grinned, while I stayed calm trying not
to look over at him. He noticed this and handed me the sunglasses from the
dash. I chuckled to myself as everyone else noticed but did not understand.

"Well, so now we get to get to the weird part of the story. Glenn cheated
on me several times after that. But, I kept forgiving him, thinking it was
because I had nothing to offer him other than taking his career away from
him, which was his greatest fear. After all, how could I have made it
without him there to get me started? So now, these days I feel stupid for
it. But, I got past it with Fatima's help." I stopped briefly to see if
there was going to be adverse affect from the story so far. No one had
changed as I looked through the rear view mirror. Kevin shifted in his
chair twisting slightly towards me.

Fatima broke the silence.  "Well, I love working with these guys.  All you
had to do was ask."

"So how did you two meet anyhow?" AJ asked.  Fatima and I shot glances back
and forth in the mirror to see who was going to answer.

"I E-mailed her and told her what was going on when I found out she was not
going to be doing this video because of Glenn and Manerva," I said flatly
as the guys shook their heads in frustration. "We have been talking for
three weeks now, and last night we thought we should get together and meet
for lunch or something. It was also a way for me to vent without having to
talk on the phone. I hate the phone; it is my own personal thing not to
like in this business, as it is impersonal.  She is greater than that
though she got you guys here. Which she didn't tell me you were coming
today." I said giving her a hurt look through the mirror. AJ laughed as she
reached forwards and popped me in the back of the head.

"Just watch the road. If I had of told you what I was up to. You would have
never come along with me. You being as shy as you are. But, then again,
with the moves you were using in there I would never believe it," She said
with satisfaction.

"Ok, so you were a fan first, then you created this elaborate video idea,
and here we are. Oh, I forgot about Glenn. But, at least he is out of the
picture now after today's performance by us." Fatima continued. I could
feel myself blushing as my neck and arms were turning red. Kevin was
grinning big now as I turned quickly and grinned back at him. I could have
sworn he started to blush too. I wwas laughing inside as AJ let out a huge
sigh. Howie shot him a dirty look as I watched it the rear view mirror in
interest. We pulled into the parking lot of the Planet Hollywood and headed
for an open space near the front entrance. As we all started to exit the
vehicle, I noticed Howie was not moving.  I decided to stay behind for a
moment to see if he would retreat.

"Mike, can we chat for a second?" Howie asked as I sat there
confused. Kevin waited at the front of the Explorer for us while Nick,
Brian, AJ, and Fatima headed for the entrance.

"Sure, what is it Howie?" I replied.

"Kevin has only been out of his relationship for about two weeks now. You
might want to know none of us think he is ready for a new one. Of course,
it would be best if you didn't go down that road at all with him. You will
only be hurt again, and I, for one, would hate to see that happen." He
placed his hand on my shoulder, making that cheese eater grin of his as I
sat there contemplating an answer.  'No time like the present,' I thought
as Kevin walked up to the passenger door. Howie tried to make a very calm
break for it, but Kevin placed his hand on the outside of the door. I was
now grinning, his grin, as he shot me a hurt look.

"No, you stay here.  I have something to say, and you are going to listen
Howard," Kevin said, as he got back into the car. I saw Brian stick his
head back out the door and look over at us to see what was taking us so
long.  I waved at him briefly as Kevin just looked back at Howie.

"Howie, we went out, and it is over with.  You're not going to keep getting
in my way of happiness. It was short lived.  Now I know I am being abrupt,
but hey, you deserve this. I knew you would pull something on Mike, and to
tell the truth I was hoping it would be put on hold for a while. At least
until we had talked a little to one another without all of you here. Now I
am not saying I hate you, or I do not want you around me. You're my best
friend Howie, and that is not going to change." I saw Howie's expression
change as he watched my every move. I got out of the vehicle very quickly
and looked at the two of them.

"I don't need to be here for this guys. Kevin, we will talk, but right now,
you two have to work through all you have left. Make sure you know what you
want before you get out of this car." I said as they both looked at me
astounded.

I made my way inside and was sideswiped by Brian and AJ. Fatima and Nick
watched as they took me down a large hall to a secluded area. I had no idea
where they were taking me, but from the expression on Fatima's face, I
could tell that somehow it was going to be fine. I just had to listen to
what ever they had to say.

"Mike, what did Howie say to you?" AJ burst out, as we were now clear of
anyone else hearing us. I stood there and told them the whole thing,
including me getting out and leaving them both there. They just looked at
one another and started to laugh.

"Good idea, getting out while the getting was good. I'm sure they are at
each other's throats right now," AJ said, still laughing.

"AJ, they just have to work things out. If I know my `Cus', they will be
friends and nothing more," Brian said as I watched the discussion.

"Well, you know what they say Brian, third times a charm," AJ burst out
into laughter. I could only think one thing at this point: AJ and I are way
too much alike. In uncomfortable moments, I laugh too.

"Ok, well this would be their sixth time at trying to make it work," Brian
said as he looked at my shocked expression now.

"Sixth time," I said, knowing how it felt to try.

"Yes," AJ said looking me directly in the eyes.

"Cool, that means they want the real thing and just can't find it in one
another. I guess that means they are in it for the long haul. Now, which
one do I chase after?" I laughed as AJ burst into laughter again. Brian
gave me a dirty look.

"Brian, it was joke. I am not chasing either one of them. They would have
to chase me first. I could never chase either one of them; they are out of
my league," I said, and realized that I had just made a fool of myself by
putting their stardom ahead of me and I was talking to Brian Littrell bout
all this. It confused the hell out of me. Brain saw my tore up expression
and laughed.

"It's ok Mike, that just means you have accepted us as people," Brian said.

"And that's cool with us." AJ answered putting his arm around my
shoulder. We now headed back down the hallway to the lobby where Kevin and
Fatima now stood hugging.

"My turn," I said as they stood there in confusion. I quickly reached out
to Fatima who got my meaning and hugged me back. I turned so I was facing
Kevin and winked at him; he just grinned at me. Howie and Nick soon
reappeared as we were ushered to a back table away from the prying
eyes. Howie sheepishly gave me a grin, but I did not return it and soon he
was looking down at the table.

"Ok, so what are you having?" Kevin asked as he sat down next to me and
Fatima sat on the other side. Brian sat across from me, grinning and
staring at Kevin and myself. I knew what he was doing and kicked him under
the table. He looked around quickly.

"What was that for?" he innocently asked.

"You know what it was for," both Kevin and Fatima answered in unison. I
began the laughter that was joined by everyone else.

A waiter approached us and began to take our orders, when I noticed I had
no menu. I was sitting there, trying my best to look like I had an idea as
to what I wanted.  Then when one of them put their menu down, I would grab
it.  No such luck however, and he was so close now. Kevin grinned over at
me and leaned over for me to look at his menu. I liked being close to him
but this was going to be very difficult in time. `What if the waiter
notices?' I thought as I sat there practically leaning on Kevin's shoulder.

"Don't worry so much. We have been here before and they have a policy about
secrecy.  They have stars for bosses, remember?" Kevin said, easing my mind
of its inhibitions.

"So what will it be sir?" The waiter asked Kevin, as he dropped the menu
and stretched his arm around my shoulder. I stayed there looking at the
menu, lying on the table.

"Sir, if you would like I could get you a menu.  I am sorry, I thought they
had placed enough at the table," The waiter apologized as Kevin adjusted in
his chair and waved the guy off.

"They can share, if you don't mind." Fatima came to our rescue.

I glanced over at her and then leaned against Kevin's shoulder. She was
grinning as the orders were placed.  Kevin would not let me back up from my
lounging position. His arms felt so good holding me there; I wanted nothing
more than to stay that way, but I couldn't get the one thought out of my
mind: What if we get caught like this? AJ saw the wheels turning again and
apparently could not hold it in any longer.

"Mike, where there is smoke, there is fire.  And man, your brain is
smoking!"

"Is this bothering you?" Kevin asked.

"Actually, it is really nice Kev but." I began.

"Kev? There you went and done it, you gave him a pet name," Brian said,
with sarcasm.

"Better than what I could call you right now," Kevin replied.

"It's a family thing isn't it?" I said, looking over at Fatima.

"Don't you drag me into this. I have had my time dealing with all the
taunting." She answered as everyone busted up again.

"Great, now I'm comic relief. Glenn used to tell me that all the time." I
said, as Kevin pulled me closer to him. He was trying to comfort me, as I
realized how comforting this could be.

"You will be one of the family soon enough, if Kevin has anything to do
with it," Howie said as Nick kicked him under the table.  He winced.

'Harder Nick harder" I thought.

"Now children, we don't want Fatima to put you in the corner again," AJ
said as she nearly burst out a mouth full of water.

The food arrived next. I attempted to sit back up, but Kevin pulled me back
down. I looked up to find him grinning at me. I grinned back at him and he
let me go. I looked at my plate and just thought it was safer against
Kevin's shoulder. Everyone had gone silent and began to eat. I looked
across the table at Brian as he shoved a fork covered in pasta into his
mouth. I went ahead and began to eat my Caesar salad. All was quiet as the
waiter walked back over and handed me a small envelope.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Oh, the gentleman at the bar asked me to give that to you." He walked away
as everyone stared at me. I looked across the room to see Glenn sitting on
a stool.

"Give it to me," Fatima said, as she took the envelope. Without another
word, she stood and walked over to the bar with the note in her hand.

"What is she doing?" Kevin asked as I watched stunned.

"Who is that?" AJ asked.

"Glenn," I said as everyone now turned to watch. I noticed she took a seat
across from him sitting at the bar. He raised his voice as she had made a
pointed argument to him. He reached for the note as she quickly pulled it
away. She pulled back suddenly and grabbed a pitcher of ice water. She
poured it directly over his head. We all cheered as he looked over to us he
began to run to the table.

"You bastard. You can't do this to me. You will ruin my career!" he
shouted, leaning against the table.

"Funny, this morning you wanted to ruin mine," I said as he leaned farther
over. Kevin reached over and pushed him back down with one hand. Everyone
else went silent as he stood up and straightened his clothes.

"That's it Glenn, have some dignity and leave. You did this to yourself."
Fatima said, as she walked up behind him. Glenn stared hard at me as I
watched the hate fill his eyes completely. There was a silent pause as he
stood up again. I looked him square in the eyes as the tension grew. Fatima
picked up another pitcher of water.  Glenn spun around and knocked it out
of her hand. Kevin was visibly angered now as Glenn and Fatima were
engrossed in a stare down.

"Excuse me everyone, but this is my fight." I said as I stood.  Both Fatima
and Kevin looked at me with shock. Glenn did not look at me.  If I knew him
like I thought I did, he was grinning wildly, thinking he was winning. As
he turned, I noticed the grin disappear as Fatima watched my face.  I gave
her a quick smile. I reached over to Kevin's arm as I passed him and rubbed
gently. He did not react as I continued to walk around the end of the
table. I knew I had just hurt his pride in helping me, but I had to show
who was bigger here and handle this.

"Glenn, your career was over as soon as we met. I am better than all you
have ever done in your life. I figured out that much over the last few
weeks talking to Fatima." I honestly did believe every word of what I just
said as he stood his ground with anger filling his eyes. "If you could have
just been honest, none of this would have happened. I was willing to share
my life with you and make us both happy. But you only tried to use me and
save your dying pride. Now we should not." he cut me off.

"We should tell these good people what you are really like!" He shouted as
Kevin again stood up abruptly.

`Maybe I couldn't do this. Maybe I was not strong enough. Maybe I should
just stop,' I thought quickly until I looked at Kevin and then at the
others. Howie was the last one I looked at, as I stood motionless. His eyes
somehow asked me to continue as he watched in pain, losing Kevin further
with each word as I started to speak again.

"Glenn, as you can see, I am doing just fine without you. I am stronger
than you gave me credit for. If you would kindly leave it would be best." I
said, pointing to the bar. He took a step towards me, standing only inches
away from my face now. The tension grew now as AJ turned completely to face
us in his chair.

"Can we please talk without your bodyguards here?" He said lowly as I
turned to look at Kevin. Glenn crossed the line to make everyone hate him
even more. His lips made contact with my cheek; I turned around quickly and
shoved him back. Kevin abruptly grabbed my arm as I drew it back to hit
Glenn.


To be Continued..


More authors notes:
There are actually 5 more installments already written on this. It is a
good one since it is pre written it is actually fine-tuned right now. In
the future, I may not be so well prepared but I hope you enjoy it.
Writergray@aol.com 

This entire story has been loosely based on the personalities of friend I
do actually have.

Thank you again Fernie