Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2001 01:08:39 EDT
From: Angel36745@aol.com
Subject: Double Take 5

  Disclaimer: I don't know BSB or anyone connected to them in anyway. I
don't know their sexual preferences, this is just a story. I made it all up
in my own little twisted world. Well, it's not that twisted but that's not
the point.

  Warning: I don't know where this is going, or what will happen. I've had
this story on my mind for the past couple of months. There may be sex, but
if there is it won't be in the first chapter. So if that's what you're
looking for you might want to look in another place. Now I'm going to try
and not use any super natural beings. I may fail but hell trust me when I
say I can't help it.

   Authors Note: Well I'm back and my BSB kick, and I've left for other
bands alone. Now that most likely won't last for long so don't get your
hopes up. If you have time and like this story check out some of my other
stories. I'll leave a small list at the end of this chapter. I don't have
an editor anymore, so most likely there will be a few mistakes. I would
also like to add that if you have the time to please e-mail me. I love feed
back and in some ways it helps get the next chapter out. Ok I'm going to
explain my symbols and my way of writing. I write in the first person point
of view, so to tell the story better I switch characters. I use these ***
to do that and I also use those symbols to start off the chapter. I will
put the name of the characters name in between the symbols when I start a
chapter. When I change the character in the middle of the chapter or any
part of the chapter the name will be at the end of the symbols. As of right
now those are the only symbols I use. If I add more symbols I will explain,
now on with the story I hope you enjoy it.

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***Ash***

  I looked at the boy and it finally clicked he was Nick's younger brother
Aaron. "I guess you are, but I have a small question for you." He smiled,
then shrugged his shoulders slowly as in telling me to go for it. "Now
don't take this the wrong way, but were you asked to do this. I mean come
in here and be all friendly, and if someone did ask you who was it?" For
about two seconds he looked like a deer caught in come head lights. "No one
asked me to, in fact I was told to stay out of here, but I couldn't. I mean
Nick calls me up on the phone and tells me to get my rear here as quickly
as I can. Then my Mom tells me that I have another brother. I thought she
was pregnant or something, then she drops the real bomb shell. So I just
had to meet you a soon as I could, I was supposed to be going to my room. I
hope your not mad that I came in here, and if you could, would you please
not tell the others?" The smile that formed on my lips wasn't forced or
even excepted. "I won't tell anyone, it just means we get to act later when
we meet for the first time." Aaron smiled and quietly left the room most
likely going to his own room. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes
feeling relaxed for the first time in a long while. If anything I got a
real little brother out of all this chaos that had broken loose.

  I got back up shortly after that and took a quick shower, to bad I didn't
have any clean clothes to change into. I dusted my suit off and put it back
on, I hated this damn thing but it was all I had. I looked at myself in the
mirror and noticed that I looked just like my adopted family
members. Brenda would be so proud right now, and last night surely made her
proud. I had controlled every single thing that had ran through my mind,
and I had come out without a scratch. Well, that wasn't really true now
that I thought about it, there were small cuts, but none that could be
seen. It had really shook me up inside, to know something like that could
happen so easily. Even when I had given in without a problem and given the
guy all my money. What really had gotten to my was that David had been in
danger. That was all my fault, if he wouldn't have followed me none it
would have ever happened to him. I know it was a bit of a long shot but he
normally led a pretty protected life. His mother and father would never
allow anything like that to happen to him. When I wasn't around I'm pretty
sure that he was in complete safety. I stopped thinking about it and went
on with my normal life. I walked out into the hallway and knocked on every
single door. Then I ran back to my room and closed the door once I heard a
few of the doors open. It was childish, but that was the way it was going
to be.

  At least now they knew I was awake, so I waited until the first knock
came. Every few minutes someone would come into my room. All of the outfits
I had made for the guys was being worn. No one had said a word yet and I
wasn't about to be the first unless everyone was in the room. I had a lot
to say, and I didn't want to have to repeat myself once. Once the room was
filled with people I knew and those that I didn't I stood up. They had even
managed to get Jade, David and my adopted parents. Now I understood why I
had woken up here, and not at Brenda and Jeff's house. I had been set up by
the pro's, and I wasn't to happy about it. "Now that everyone is here I can
start and finish all in one day. First off David talked me into giving this
a chance, so that's what I'm going to do. That doesn't mean I'm going to
wipe the slate clean, that's not my style. I've heard what Nick had to say,
and how he takes most of the blame. He's right it was mostly his fault
since it was his idea. That didn't mean anyone else had to go along with
it, it was just an idea. So I'm not placing the blame on just Nick,
everyone had a part in it. What also accrued to me was that I handled it
really childish. I shouldn't have taken off, I should have just talked with
all of you. The only problem was I had thought that I had done something
wrong. So I didn't think I had a right to say anything to anyone, that I
should just wait until I was forgiven."

  "I didn't understand why everyone had turned their backs on me, it
hurt. It shouldn't have, in truth I should have just treated this like a
job, that's what it was. You were my bosses, notice had I said were. I no
longer work for you, and I won't be taking up that job again, it's over. I
don't expect any money, or even any help with my career. I've decided that
I'm moving, where I'm not for sure. That doesn't mean I don't want to have
contact, I wouldn't mind seeing some of you. I would like to get a chance
to know all of you, but I can't just let my life just pass me by
anymore. Brenda If I remember correctly you said you could help me. I
think, no I know I would like take you up on that offer, but only if I can
pay you back later. I'm not for sure how I'm going to do that, but I'll
find a way." I looked to Jane, and for the first time I felt like saying
something. "Mom, I know you didn't know what Nick was doing, so I'm not
even upset with you. What did upset me was how you handled it, you could
have just said something to me. You didn't, you kept me in the dark, and I
had no clue what was happening. Like I said I'm not upset with you, just
upset with your actions. I'm an adult, and I could have handled it, you
didn't give me that chance. Nick, there aren't enough words to say how much
I dislike you right now."

  "You treated me like nothing, then got everyone to ignore me. On top of
that you decide you need to make up for it. But not because you thought it
was the right thing to do. You did it because if you didn't you were
worried about what other people would think of you. There was a slim chance
some of your closest friends would see your true colors. They would see
that you get jealous very easily, they would see that you are what you say
you're not. You're not a nice guy, you're not a good guy, you may have been
once but you're not now. Look at your life, and how you live, you're use to
everyone bowing down to you. Well, I'm here to tell you, I'll never bow
down to you, not now, not ever. Out of everyone in this room you're the one
I don't want to get to know. After today I don't ever want to have any
contact with you. If that means the rest of the people here don't want to
see me with that said, to bad. I don't really care anymore, now I'm done,
say whatever you want to say." I stood up and took a seat by the door since
I planned on leaving soon. "That's not true, at least not all of it, you
have no right to judge me." I looked at Nick and smiled lightly, he looked
a little upset. "Why not Nick, you didn't mind judging me?" He looked
confused I guess I wasn't done after all.

  "Let's see where should I start, oh yeah how about the beginning. Ask
yourself what you saw when you first met me. Was it someone you might
become friends with, no it was someone who could help you. That wasn't so
bad, not really, we didn't know one another. Then after a little time
passed and we all had a nice heartfelt confession I thought we could be
friends. I was wrong because you didn't want to be friends, which would
have been fine. It wouldn't have bothered me if you didn't but you
pretended to be my friend. I found out other wise by accident, what was it,
oh yeah I don't really need him, you didn't even have the respect to say my
name. Their were a few other things I heard, but I left soon after that
statement. Then once again I tried to be your friend, what did you do Nick?
Let me tell you what you did, you cut me off again like I didn't exist. You
wrote me off, so you say I don't have the right to judge you, well I say I
do." I stood up and started toward the door I was done with this little
game. No one got in my way so I left, found my way to Brenda and Jeff's
limo and got in. Twenty minutes later they got in and we went back to their
house. "I'm very proud of the way you handled everything Ash. As for your
request I agree, and I'll have you an apartment in New York in a week." I
nodded and looked out the window as I left my true family behind, finding
that my adopted way be where I belong after all.

******Brian

  It was over, everything, and now there was nothing anyone could
do. Brenda had told us where Ash would be if we needed to get in contact
with him. The only problem was I don't think anyone really wanted to talk
to him. Nick was so depressed he didn't know what to do with himself. Jane
was confused and didn't know how to handle what Ash had said. I had to
admit I didn't really know how to react to everything, but I knew he was
right.  There was only one choice, to move on with life and do what we do
best. I was thinking about contacting Ash, but not until he had some time
to cool off. Then maybe he would start thinking about forgiving me and the
guys. We all liked him and we really did want to get to know him. I really
wanted to get to know him, maybe even ask him out on a date. As a few days
passed we moved on and went back on tour trying not to think about Ash. It
wasn't easy, at least not for me, even Nick was having a really hard
time. I was starting to understand why, and I was amazed by the
thought. Nick had always held his family above everything else, now his
brother hated him. He was finally realizing what he had done to his
twin. The one person he should be the closest to in the world. Now that
person hated him, and there was a good possibility that he would never
forgive him.

  Three months had gone by and only Jane and Aaron had spoken with
Ash. They were planning a get together in Florida in a few months. He had
said that it would have to happen after his opening, he was finally making
a name for himself. Jane had tried to talk him into taking their last name,
he said maybe after the opening. Something about him making it with his own
name, Jane had understood. The pubic still didn't know about Ash, I wasn't
sure how long that was going to last. Nick was once again knocking on my
door, this time I answered it. He looked worse than I had ever seen him
before which finally had me worried. I had ignored him since Ash had left
from the hotel after putting Nick into the ground. "Please talk to me, we
use to be best friends, can we be again?" I pulled him into the room and
sat him down on the bed, he looked up at me with his puppy dog face. "How
does it feel to be ignored, how does it feel to have everyone turn their
back on you. Maybe now you have an idea what you did to your brother. I
know that was really low, but it's true, and I know you didn't ignore him
this long. That doesn't matter since your a little dense, and Ash left
before you had a chance to end your little game. I think you've had enough,
but I'm not your best friend, to be your best friend I would have to know
you. I don't know you Nick, I use to think that I did, but I don't." Nick
looked hurt, maybe it was time he was faced with reality.

  More time passed and soon there was only two weeks left until Ash met up
with Jane and Aaron. From what I understood even Leslie was going to be
there so she could meet Ash, without him being in a bad mood. I had even
gotten a call asking if I wanted to come, I agreed without second
thought. Now the only problem was Nick, I sort of felt bad about him not
coming. Then again if he just happened to show up it wouldn't be my
fault. So I told him everything only to find out that he already knew and
had been invited by his Mom. Ash knew he was coming, and planned on keeping
his distance the whole time. As I went around talking to the others they
had all had been invited, I wonder why we had all been kept in the dark
about everyone being invited. I guess it was another of Ash's ideas to
teach us a lesson. Either that or it was Jane's idea, either way it was
becoming a pain in the ass. Everything was getting real tense among the
guys, why we really didn't know. I guess part of us thought this was going
to be a repeat of the last time. I hoped it wouldn't be, cause if it was
there wasn't a chance in hell that I would ever be able to ask him out. Not
if he went on the attack again, I don't think I could take that again. He
was so different from the other times we had spoken with one another. When
he was pissed off he didn't care who he hurt, or what he said, as long as
he was right.

  The day was finally here and we were finally pulling up in front of
Jane's house. I think Nick was more nervous than I was, he was constantly
moving around in the limo. I got out first and walked up to the front door
with the others right behind me. Nick knocked since it was his mom's house
and not ours. Jane answered a few seconds later and invited us in. There
was a dark haired guy that I hadn't met before standing beside the TV
talking to Aaron. He was just as tall as Nick, only he had glasses and long
goatee, very artistic. When he looked up he was no longer a stranger, it
was Ash with a whole new look. Well, if I had looked at the clothing I
would have know that it was him, solid black with an interesting design. He
smiled lightly before continuing his talk with Aaron who looked to be
paying very close attention to him. I had never really seen Aaron give Nick
his full attention like that. Nick was looking at Ash, almost enough to
burn a hole straight through his chest. Only it wasn't a look of anger,
only that of sorrow and regret, When Ash looked back there was nothing in
his eyes. It was like he knew Nick was there but would never care, there
wasn't anger, there was nothing. To Ash it was like Nick no longer existed,
and maybe he never would again. "Just give it time, he can't hate you
forever, no one can." Nick smiled but he could see through my words and
into my mind, it truth I believed that Ash could hate him forever.

  The difference between Ash and us, was that we didn't have a choice. We
had to get along with one another, Ash had a choice. He didn't have to ever
speak with any of us again, or even see us for that matter. Nick on the
other hand had to be forgiven at some point if the band was going to stay
together. The guys and I had already forgiven him, only I think he needed
something more. He needed his brother to forgive him before he could have
any real peace. Normally Jane would have gotten involved, only this time
she had no power over anything that happened. If Aaron and Nick had been
fighting over something she could have forced them to talk it out. Jane had
no power over Ash, and I don't think she ever would. Not that Ash didn't
care for her, he just cared more for himself. No one could really blame
him, he was all he really had when it came down to it. We all knew his
adopted family could most likely buy all our houses and still have enough
to buy a small island. Ash didn't need money, he needed love and friends
that he could trust. Nick had proven that he wasn't a good friend for
people he didn't need, sad but true. Only now Nick needed Ash, only Ash
didn't need him in anyway shape or form. Nick was going to have to grow up
a lot if he ever wanted to have any kind of relationship with his
brother. In truth I didn't think that was going to happen any time soon,
and if it did, it might be to late.

  Ash had moved over to Kevin who he was now talking to. Howie had snuck up
behind Ash and was about to tickle him. Ash turned around and picked Howie
up and hugged him so tightly Howie's jaw dropped. Then he sat him back on
the ground and smiled before returning to his talk with Kevin. Howie slowly
moved away and found himself sitting beside Nick. I moved closer to Ash and
Kevin so I could over hear what they were talking about. "So anyway I was
thinking of this black outfit that would look wonderful on you. Then again
I could really do some magic in white if you wanted, but it would reveal a
little more skin. Not that you wouldn't mind that is, only it's a little
racy for most men, but I think you could pull it off. I've also designed a
dress for Kristen, but I don't know if she would really like it." Kevin
hadn't been able to get a word in yet, which I took as a good sign. "Could
I talk to you about something, I don't really want to piss you off by
bringing it up?" Kevin now had my full attention as he was about to step
into no mans land. "Before you start, I'm going to warn you, if it has
anything to do with Nick I don't want to hear it." That didn't seem to
phase Kevin as he took a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about Brian,
he really likes you a lot. I don't know if you've seen the way he looks at
you, but their more behind those eyes than friendship. I know we all did
you really wrong, but it was killing him to not talk to you."

  "He was always trying to talk Nick into stopping his little test, or
whatever it was. So could you at least give him a shot, as in maybe dating
him if he ask?" I didn't know how to react to Kevin trying to set me up
with Ash. Still I found that I liked the idea and would do anything he
asked if it worked. "Why would he want me Kevin, I'm just the look alike?
It's not like he couldn't have Nick, I mean come on, what could I give him
that Nick couldn't?" Ash's voice had changed from carefree to more of a
depressed tone that ate at me. "Honesty, all kinds of things that I don't
think Nick has, or ever had. Ash your real, and you don't have to pretend
to be something else. Nick can't be like that he has way to much fame for
it. You on the other hand are simply yourself, that's why Brian wants
you. So will you give him another shot if he ask, please give him another
shot?" I pushed my body closer still maintaining a good distance, and
praying for the answer I dreamed of hearing. "I'll think about it, but I
swear if this another game, I'll never forgive you." Ash walked away and
Kevin sighed, now was the time to talk to Ash, only Kevin stopped me. "If
you try to talk to him now it'll only look like a setup, trust me on
this. I know you were listening, you do have a shadow, but I don't think
Ash noticed." I let my shoulders sag and took a seat beside Howie and Nick.

  Ash was talking with everyone as long as they were no where near
Nick. "Maybe you should try to talk to him, you never know he might
listen." I could have punched Howie just then, giving Nick that kind of
advice. "Yeah I guess you're right, I should at least try, what's the worst
that could happen?" Nick's voice was a little shaky as he moved toward Ash
who was talking with Jane. They were still close enough to be heard, and I
worried that Nick was going to get stomped into the ground again. "Ash
could we talk real quick, you know in private?" Ash turned around slowly
and took his glasses off and looked right into Nick's eyes. "I don't see
the point in you and I talking to one another just yet. There are a lot of
things that I have to get past before you and I could even try being
brothers. You hurt me in so many ways, and I still can't see past that, so
no we can't talk in private. There will be a day, when I don't know, but on
that day I might be able to look into your eyes and not feel anger. When
that day comes I'll call you and then we could talk. Until then I'm asking
you to stay away from me, if you don't I'll force you to." Nick slowly
nodded and moved back to the couch where he just fell, like the life had
been drained from him.  Ash hadn't raised his voice or anything, he sounded
just like his adopted mother. I had gotten a chance to talk with her, and
the woman was void of any emotion.

  Ash turned back around to see Jane trying to hold back tears. He hugged
her lightly and whispered something into her ear that made her smile. She
nodded slowly and walked away, but not before placing a kiss on Ash's
cheek. Ash turned around and moved toward Nick, now I was a little
worried. Ash looked at Nick for a short time, almost like he was studying
him. "You didn't deserve that, if you want to talk fine, but I'm not making
any promises I'll hear you all the way out. I want you to know that I'm not
doing this for you, I'm doing it for Mom." Ash walked away with Nick right
behind him, and I wondered what was about to happen. To be honest I had
even thought of following them, but I just couldn't bring myself to do
it. So I just sat and waited for either Nick's return or Ash's, hopefully
both. I knew that this wasn't going to be that easy, nothing just fixed
itself with a simple talk. It was true that a great deal of things could be
worked out by talking, I just didn't know if this was one of those times. I
checked my watch every ten minutes until Nick walked back out. He had this
dazed look in his eyes, he looked lost and alone. Ash walked back out
seconds later, he went into the kitchen then stormed out the front
door. Jane came flying out of the kitchen, her eyes were red rimmed with
tears that had yet to fall. She looked at Nick as in almost asking why,
then ran out the front door.

   Nick never told anyone what happened, or what had been said in that
room. From that day on his eyes were empty like black holes. He would still
put up an act around most people, even me. But there were times when that
act would fall apart and there he would be, this lifeless being. Two months
had passed since that day, and still nothing had changed for the
better. Everything seemed to have gotten worse from that point on as Aaron
stopped talking to Nick. Then slowly the rest of Nick's family started
distending themselves from him. I had called Ash one night to try and find
out what had happened since Nick wasn't talking, all I got was an answering
machine. I left a message but my call was never returned. Another month
went by and now no one in Nick's family was talking to him. Now he only had
the guys and myself, so I once again tried to contact someone. When I
called Jane's house all I got was Aaron who wasn't talking for any amount
of money. He just said that Nick had said something's that he shouldn't
have and now he was paying for it. Then added that he hadn't seen Ash since
that night, he had only spoken with him for a short amount of time on the
phone. Then I heard a door open and Aaron said he had to go, so he hung
up. I decided it was high time someone did something, so I made plans to
fly to New York. Once I got my break it was the first place I was heading.

*****Ash

   I found myself alone once again with nothing to do but draw. That's all
my life had become nothing but design. I had made a name for myself, but no
one had seen my face yet, I wasn't ready for that. All the world knew was
that I was up and coming fashion designer for mostly men. I had made a few
outfits for women, but it just didn't seem to have the draw to them that I
liked. Still as I sat in my room I wondered if what Nick had said held any
truth to it. In honesty, I was starting to believe that it did, he had made
some strong points. Even though what he had said had been in anger, due to
my pushing him to be honest. He had spoken truthfully, or at least what he
thought was the truth. His words had made their way into my mind, even now
I couldn't push them away for more than a few minutes. It was affecting
everything I did with my designs, all of the designs had gotten a darker
look. Most of the clothing was black or a really dark shade of red, blue,
or green. It seemed the more depressed I got the better the designs would
turn out. I was making a killing thanks to Brenda's help, which was
starting to worry me. I had paid her back for just about everything, but I
still had problems getting people to take me seriously. That was one of the
reasons I had tried to not let people see me all that much.

  When someone actually met me they were first amazed and then worried with
my age. So I always needed Brenda's backing no matter where I went with my
designs. The money I was making now was mostly mine, but I still sent
Brenda twenty percent. I felt better knowing that I was paying her for her
help with my career. I was brought out of my thoughts by a very loud
knocking on my door. I didn't really understand it, but it had to be
another resident since the building had guards. I opened the door to find
Brian looking around like a lost kid. "Hey, didn't know it would be this
hard to get in here, how's everything going?" He was blushing lightly, and
refused to look into my eyes which only made my heart race a little
faster. "It's going, how, I'm not so sure about that, want to come in or do
you plan on standing out their all night?" He looked up slightly and walked
into my apartment. "I know you have the money to put some stuff in here,
why's it so empty?" I just shrugged my shoulders and led him to the kitchen
table where he took a seat. "I like the space I guess, plus it leaves room
for stuff like business. That and I don't really like TV, or anything else
for that matter. I have my book's to keep me company when I'm not working,
so it's all good." He smiled as I started making coffee, my mind was
spinning. I wasn't really in control, well no where near where I would want
to be.

To Be Continued

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Other stories that I've written
Falling, The Sryin, The Lost, Broken, It's A Wonderful Life, Gemini, Ghost,
Where You Are, Libra, Simple Twist Of Fate, Angelic, and The Last Kiss Good
Night