Date: Tue, 02 May 2000 20:24:39 CDT From: Phantom Writer Subject: Reality-of-a-Guardian-Angel-5 "Reality of a Guardian Angel" By: Phantom Writer Legal Stuff: This material is not meant to be read by anyone under 18. If you're offended by literature with homosexual themes, step off! If not, read on. This is a work of FICTION. Therefore, the author makes no claims as to the sexual orientation of any member of *N Sync. Side Note: This is part 5 of "Reality..." For those just starting to read this story, please read the previous installments of "Dream of a Guardian Angel" and "Reality of a Guardian Angel." For those who are tired of me incorporating 'This I Promise You' in my story, STEP! The words of the song say it all. As always, for anyone who would like to send comments or suggestions, please do so. (phantomwriter73@hotmail.com) Special Thanks: Thanks to everyone for reading this story. Previously...from "Reality of a Guardian Angel: Safely in My Arms" We all moved over to the section of the stage where Gloria and the guys would perform. I stood at the side of the stage against a black curtain. As the music started, I suddenly realized why I had come to LA. I looked up and saw a huge stage light swaying vicariously directly above JC. I caught the glimmer of a metal object falling seconds before the light started to fall. I ran toward JC and pushed him out of the way of the falling light moments before is crashed onto the stage. JC was thrown clear; however, the brackets that should have held the light in place hit my left shoulder. I felt an odd sensation as the metal broke my collarbone and sliced into my flesh, causing blood to flow readily. I collapsed on the stage as I heard Lance scream 'NOOO.' And now, "Reality of a Guardian Angel: The Gift of Life." "Someone call 911!" JC screamed as he ran over to where I lay bleeding on the stage. Lance ran to my side and kept any one from touching me. When the paramedics arrived, I was swiftly taken away by ambulance to the hospital. Lance demanded to go with me, but since he was needed for rehearsals, Jive management didn't let him go. Lance fell apart after I was taken away. Gloria came over and hugged Lance. "You truly love him, don't you?" Gloria whispered in Lance's ear. "More than life itself!" Lance managed to say quietly before his sobs became too powerful, causing Lance to hold onto Gloria for dear life. I awoke in a room with no one but myself present. I started to sit up when a shooting pain raced down my body. I looked over and saw that my left arm had been immobilized and strapped to my body. I could also feel the stitches down my shoulder blade where the metal had sliced through my flesh. I sighed, thankful that the damage wasn't any worse than it was. I pushed the call button for the nurse. I found out all the details from the nurse and how long I had been out. She said it had been 10 hours since the ambulance had arrived, and I had undergone minor surgery to repair some of the damage to my shoulder. I asked how long I would have to stay, and she said at least another 72 hours. I was depressed. The guys would be back on the road by then and I would be stuck in this damn hospital. I asked the nurse for something to help me sleep and took the pill once she returned. I just prayed Lance and the guys were all right. I couldn't have known that they performed at the Oscars and never let on like anything was wrong, though to the trained eye, the guys were off just a bit. Early in the morning, while darkness still covered LA, I sensed a presence in the room. I opened my eyes and looked over toward the chair beside the bed. There sat my Boo with tears falling down his face. My eyes adjusted enough to see that JC, Justin, Joey and Chris were in the room, leaning against the wall. I noticed an additional figure, very petite and definitely female. I sang softly. You were the one...always on my side. Always standing by...seeing me through. You were the song that always made me sing. I'm singing this for you. Everywhere I go, I think of where I've been. And of the one who knew me better than anyone ever will again... My tears came and I could no longer sing. Lance gazed into my eyes, his tears falling unabatedly. I heard several sniffs from the other side of the room as Joey, Chris, JC, Justin and Gloria moved over to the bed. I never looked away from Lance. We didn't have to say any words. "My God, that was beautiful. Why didn't you tell me you could sing like that?" Gloria said between sniffs. "I don't remember you asking." I said as I looked over to her face. Everyone laughed a little to loudly for 3:30AM in a hospital. The nurse came in and was about to ask everyone to leave until she recognized Gloria. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Estefan. I didn't know you knew the patient. It's after visiting hours, so if you could, please keep it down." The nurse left nervously, obviously a fan of Gloria's. "Jase, I'm so glad you're OK. I can't tell you how glad I am that..." Lance started sobbing quietly. "Boo, I'm so sorry. I wish I could just hug you and make it all better, but I'm kinda laid up here." I needed to lift his spirits. It worked. He smiled lovingly and held my hand. "Guys, I need to get going. I just wanted to make sure you were OK, Jase. Vaya con Dios!" Gloria leaned over and I hugged her lightly with my right arm. After Gloria left, Joey came over and sat beside me on the bed. Chris walked up behind him and they both just smiled and then got up and walked over to Lance's side, never saying a word. Their tears said it all. JC slowly approached as I noticed how red and puffy his face was. His cheeks were stained with tears that had washed away the make-up he wore for the Oscars. "Jase..." JC broke down and sobbed almost inaudibly. However, his body shuttered fiercely. "Oh, my J-say. I'm OK. There's no need to be so upset." I put my hand on his face as he leaned forward and rested his head on my right shoulder and let his tears flow. After about ten minutes, JC lifted his head and kissed me gently on the lips. "Today, you've given me the greatest gift of all: LIFE!" JC gazed into my eyes as my tears fell. JC got up as Justin came to sit beside me. "Jase, I can't..." Justin looked into my eyes as tears fell down his face. I reached up and caressed his face. "Then don't. I'll be OK, I promise. And you know I keep my PROMISES!" I saw the smile brake through the tears as I reminded Justin of when Lance and I had carried JC and Justin up to Justin's bedroom and done our little strip tease. Lance refused to leave my side until Jive management called and told him he had better get his butt back to the hotel and ready to leave. I regretted doing it, but I told Lance to leave and continue his work. He looked into my eyes and saw so much love he didn't have to argue with me. Lance knew I was right. I was finally released and was allowed to fly back to Orlando later that week. The hospital transferred all the appropriate information to Orlando and I set up my appointments first thing when I arrived. I was in moderate pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain I had felt in the past, so I managed. Luckily, I could spend my time in Orlando having the furniture and my piano delivered. Even with my left arm in a sling, I continued to play one handed. Lance never failed to call me, but I could tell he was weary from all the travel and was ready to come home. His mother had also been on the rampage and kept digging up the tabloid incident. Lance was emotionally drained, but I told him he didn't have to come out to his family until he was ready. And if need be, I would be there by his side when he told his family, loving him no matter the outcome. Over three weeks after the accident, I was healing nicely and the guys were due back. Before I had left for LA, the interior decorators had begun the work I had requested. I wanted everything to be perfect, and I paid a hefty price to make sure everything was done before the guys got back to Orlando. The work continued 16 to 18 hours a day until it was complete, with two days to spare. I walked into the first special room I had redecorated. The walls were a gorgeous dark red, with off-white trim and a variety of neutral earth tones to mellow the room a bit. This would be Chris and Joey's room. Red in honor of RED and the variety of neutral colors to keep Chris from refusing to sleep in the room. The next room was painted in Navy blue with Baby Blue sponge work over the Navy. Again, a variety of neutral colors blended the dark and the light creating an opulent setting for JC and Justin to enjoy their visits to the house. Baby blue accents in the furniture and bed coverings topped off the room with a cool and easy feeling. Finally, the master bedroom was perhaps the hardest to decorate. But, I found a magazine and showed it to the interior decorator to demonstrate what I wanted. I was a HUGE fan of blue, but I knew Lance liked Hunter Green as well. I lucked out and found the perfect room that had been done as a showcase in Atlanta for an Interior Decorator's Conference. The walls would first be painted in Navy blue. Then, sponge work in Hunter green would overlay the Navy blue, creating a very dark sea foam effect. Then, blending Navy blue, Hunter green, and various neutral colors, the room came out perfectly. As I roamed through the house, I noticed how comfortable I felt. Each bedroom had huge beds, mountains of pillows and comforters, and all but two bedrooms had either a love seat or several overstuffed chairs in them. I journeyed down the main staircase and entered the den. I had a Bose Home Theater system installed with an enormous flat-screen TV. The plush couches were so comfortable, that I ALMOST, but not quite, wouldn't mind sleeping on them every night. Of course, if Lance was with me, I didn't care where I slept. I drove to the airport against doctor's orders and waited patiently for the guys to arrive. When the plane pulled up to the gate, my heart started racing. It had been the longest amount of time I had been away from Lance and I missed him so much. Once everyone cleared out, I saw Joey and Chris, then JC and Justin emerge wearing the most ridiculous disguises. Lance topped it off when he finally came out into the Sky Bridge. He wore a TERRIBLE dark wig and some goofy glasses. I decided to be a jackass and ignored them. Finally, I looked at my watch as the guys approached and turned my back toward them. I started walking and heard heavy steps behind me as the guys attempted to catch up to me. I walked out of the terminal and straight toward my vehicle. I couldn't keep in the laughter once I got within twenty feet of the Tahoe. "JEEZ LOUISE! Those have got to be the WORSE disguises I have EVER seen!" I laughed frantically as everyone realized what I had done. "Damn, Jase. We thought there for a minute you were about to leave our asses on the curb!" Chris spoke as he continued to chuckle to himself. "CK, I'd never leave you on the curb. Maybe in the bar ditch, but never on the curb!" Joey laughed louder than he should as Chris slapped him up side the head. "Now, now. No lover's quarrels! Speaking of lovers, Boo! Take that hideous wig off! I can't kiss you with that thing on." I walked up to him and snatched the wig off his head. Then we kissed quickly making sure no one saw us. I opened the doors and they all put their carry-on luggage in the back. I was confused as to where in the hell their other suitcases were, until Lance explained. He knew me so well. "We had our suitcases sent home last week so we didn't have to carry them around any more. We can go now." Lance smiled as he read my understanding from the expression on my face. I tore out of the airport. JC gave me a hard time about driving so fast, but I continued on, never letting up on the speed. Lance just stared at me while I drove, ever so often putting his hand on my right thigh and squeeze. "Boo, if you're so horny you have to molest me in my own car, with four other people watching, I have some bad news. I'm still several weeks away from getting' out of the DAMN harness, so you'll have to go easy on me until then." I smiled as I looked in the rearview mirror at the laughing faces of Joey, Chris, JC and Justin. Lance just ran his hand up my thigh and copped a feel. "I'll be ever so gentle!" Lance spoke in his sexy low voice and I damn near came right then and there. We continued driving for about an hour. The traffic was not too bad, but I couldn't haul ass like I wanted to. Finally, we turned down the street leading to my new home. Everyone looked out of the windows as they tried to spot the house I called home. I slowed and pulled up to the security gate. I rolled the window down and punched in the access code. The gate slowly opened and I continued the short drive up to the house. Everyone was silent, gazing around the property, noticing how the trees secluded the house even more so than the perimeter security fence. "DAMN, I could get used to THIS!" Justin grinned slyly. "Well good, I'm SO glad to have your approval, Mr. Timberlake. I would just piss myself if YOU didn't like MY house!" I laughed loudly as Justin realized I was just kidding. "Jase, is this real?" Lance asked as we stopped at the three-car garage. "Yep, it's not Disney World. Snow White ain't gonna be hoppin' out of no bushed up in here!" Everyone started laughing, except Lance. "Jase, I'm serious. You gave EACH of us a key to this place? You trust us that much?" Lance was getting teary-eyed. "Boo, I trust you implicitly! Now, as for these other guys, I think they come with the package called James Lance Bass a.k.a. BOO!" I leaned in and kissed him softly before heading toward the side door. I showed the guys in and told them to make themselves at home. It was hilarious. Five grown young men running around like a child in a toy store. After everyone went ape-shit over the home entertainment system, they made their way upstairs. I followed, dying to know if they could find the rooms I had decorated specially for each couple. I walked past Joey and Chris's room only to find them both silently admiring the room. "So, Red. What do you think of this room? And you, CK." I stood in the doorway and was shocked to see both of them turn around with tears slowly building in their eyes. "It's beautiful! How did you find a house with a RED ROOM!" Joey spoke quietly as he and Chris both sat on the bed and continued to admire the room. "I didn't. I had this decorated especially for you two." I smiled as they both got up to hug me gently, minding my injured shoulder. I didn't let them see the pain I felt when they hugged me. "You are TOO good to us." Chris nearly let the tears fall when he said this. I walked out of the room, not wanting to shed tears over a bedroom with Chris and Joey. I walked to my next special project and found JC and Justin cuddling on the bed. I grinned and quietly walked up to the bed as JC and Justin continued to make out, unaware of my presence. "So, I guess you like this room?" I startled JC and Justin with my words. "Damn straight! This is PHAT! I've never seen a house with such a beautiful room, and in BLUE! And look, there's BABY BLUE up in here! BABY BLUE!" Justin was sitting up, waving his hands around dramatically. "Well, I had this room designed specially for you guys. Now you have a second home and a room that will always welcome you!" I turned and heard them both gasp. "Jase, I think we need to get you to the hospital!" JC moved toward me quickly and grabbed my arm. "Why?" I couldn't see the blood that had started running down the back of my shirt. "LANCE, call Dr. Hunt! Tell him to get over here FAST!" Justin yelled at Lance as Joey and Chris ran into the room. Lance grabbed the cordless from the nightstand while JC and Justin moved me over to the bed, being careful not to get blood on anything. Lance handed me the phone so I could relay the address and left the room. He returned carrying some towels from the bathroom. "Here, don't let any blood get on the bed." Lance was so calm and collected. Lance moved in front of me and unbuttoned my shirt. He gently started removing my shirt, but gasped when he uncovered my wound. Lance faltered only for a second, eventually removing my shirt all together. Lance left the room, taking my bloody shirt out of sight. Meanwhile, JC and Justin pushed the towel under my ass so if any blood ran down or tried to drip, the towel would protect the bed. "Hey, let's move down to the kitchen. Someone will have to buzz the doctor in and the security panel is down stairs." I stood and winced in pain. Lance saw my expression and moved over to help me walk down the stairs. About 15 minutes after we went downstairs, Dr. Hunt arrived. I sat in a chair in the breakfast nook and let the doctor look me over. "Well, I'm glad to say it's nothing serious. Sometimes, with deep wounds like this, seepage is almost welcomed. This is your body's natural way of irrigating the wound, preventing anything foreign from becoming sealed into the wound. I imagine you exerted yourself a little bit too much and your body reacted this way. If the drainage and bleeding continues, go to the hospital. From what I can see, the seepage actually has very little blood in it. Rest and keep your arm immobilized! That's doctor's orders!" Dr. Hunt stood and Lance escorted him to the door. "Thank you for coming so quickly, I appreciate you taking the time." Lance shook the doctor's hand, and returned to my side. "Boo, let's go upstairs. Come on guys, I want you all to see this." I stood cautiously and proceeded up stairs. I moved down the hallway leading to the master bedroom. I take it from Lance's reaction he had yet to make his way into this room before the minor emergency. Lance stood, stunned at what he saw. Joey, Chris, Justin and JC paused in the doorway. Not only was there a huge, California King bed with a Navy Blue and Hunter Green bed set, but the room had an entertainment center, a love seat, two overstuffed chairs, a huge walkin closet, and a large bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub built for two. "Oh...My...God! This is absolutely GORGEOUS! Where on Earth did you find this entire room of Navy Blue and Hunter Green stuff!" Lance was almost in tears! "I found it all in a designer magazine and had it all put in for US! I'm into blue, and you're into green. SO, this is what you get when we're together!" I walked over to Lance and kissed him passionately. Our tongues dueled for minutes before the catcalls began. "You know, I think you should have thought TWICE before giving them a key to your place." "OUR place. Boo, this is our home. Even if you leave me some day, this will still be OUR home. That will never change. My life is starting anew, and you were the reason I found happiness, Boo! So, if you want to, YOU can tell these monkeys off since this is your place as well." I laughed at the shocked look on JC, Justin, Chris, and Joey's faces. "Jase, I will NEVER leave you. How could I? You've given me the love, the understanding, the stability I've so desperately needed for so long. You kept me sane when my mother started in on me about having a girlfriend and letting the tabloids really see I wasn't gay. Hear these words: Until I die, my heart belongs to you, and only you!" Lance moved over to me and kissed me passionately! Lance and I held each other, with Lance being careful not to cause me any pain from my injury. I felt a sense of unconditional love, not only from Lance, but also from JC, Justin, Joey and Chris. Lance dressed my wound with bandages and I walked hand in hand with Lance back down to the den. Joey damn near blew us out of the house when he confused the volume with the channel selector. But, we all laughed loudly for a long time, our ears ringing from the experience. During the rest of the day, we all rested and caught up on everything that had happened while we were apart. I was more content than I had been in some time. My five guardian angels were with me and I knew we were truly happy. As I suspected, Lance COULD cook, and in my injured condition, he prepared a terrific meal for all of us. We ate and decided to sit by the pool until the sun set. We all decided to have a few drinks and celebrate comin' home to a fabulous house, a home away from home of sorts for the guys. Well after dark, we all continued to sit around the pool, everyone was a little tipsy. That's when I slipped up and told them the one thing I had suppressed for years, the ONLY thing Lance didn't know about me. I don't even know how it fell into the conversation. I think we were comparing bad experiences after discussing my injury. In any event, after I had told them my secret, silence fell upon the group. I looked away from everyone, especially Lance. "He...raped you?" Lance spoke in a subdued tone, but I could hear the anger, the pain in his voice. "Yes. I had passed out cold from the margaritas and woke up with him fuckin' me violently. I was so wasted; I couldn't get my arms or legs to move. I cried and begged him not to be so cruel, but his response was 'You want it, I know you do!' That day, six years ago, I swore never to let my family know I was gay. I couldn't face the memory of being raped. It was my fault! I should have never..." Lance cut me off. "It WASN'T your fault. You have to believe that! I just wish..." Lance couldn't continue. His mind wandered and I could see him deep in thought. "Jase, why haven't you told us this before? I hope you know we still love you no matter what has happened in the past." JC spoke as he held back the tears brimming in his eyes. "I know, it's just that I have become so accustomed to suppressing that experience, that it never came up until now. It's not something I feel comfortable talking about. Most people blame the victims of rape as having put off mixed signals, not refusing the sexual advance. In my case, that FUCKER was nothing more than a classmate assigned to work on a group project. We finished off the margaritas I had made for the study group. Everyone had left but HIM. I must have passed out, because the next thing I remember...I wasn't even interested in him. But..." I looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling dirty and worthless. When the visions around you...bring tears to your eyes. And all the surrounds you...are secrets and lies. I'll be your strength...I'll give you hope. Keeping your faith when it's gone. The one you should call...was standing here all alone. And I will take...you in my arms. And hold you right where you belong. 'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you. This I promise you. I've loved you forever...in lifetimes before. And I promise you never...will you hurt anymore. I give you my word...I give you my heart. This is a battle we've won. And with this vow...forever has now begun. Just close your eyes...each lovin' day. And know this feeling won't go away. 'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you. This I promise you. Over and over I fall...when I hear you call. Without you in my life, baby...I just wouldn't be living at all. And I will take...you in my arms. And hold you right where you belong. 'Til the day my life is through, this I promise you, baby. Just close your eyes...each lovin' day. And know this feeling won't go away. Every word I say is true, this I promise you. Every word I say is true, this I promise you. I promise you. The guys sang to me, showing more emotion that I had ever heard before. Ever the professional performers, they sang this song to me, even through their own pain and emotion at learning of yet another tragedy I had endured. I couldn't keep it together any longer. I was taken aback by the guys' love. I leaned down and grabbed my knees, sobbing violently, never looking into the faces of my guardian angels. I knew I was truly loved. TBC... Will Lance be able to love Jase now? Will this end the relationship Jase has with *N Sync? Who knows!