Date: Fri, 1 Dec 2000 11:42:46 -0800 (PST) From: Laura Johnson Subject: Dreaming Ch. 8-9 Disclaimer: Don't know 'em, dont' care what they do behind closed doors. This isn't real don't take it seriously. And don't copy and plagiarise...It's bad feed back is desired. Chapter 8... A week gone, but it seems like a millennium. He won't talk to me. I've tried but all he does is look at me with those adoring eyes, kisses my cheek and tells me I need my rest. I don't want to sleep. That's what started this. Now I just want to hold him in my arms. Why won't he let me? Does he hate me? What did I do? Ok Josh he's looking at you weird, smile at him. There ya go. "Josh...are you ok?" Tell him your fine...just don't tell him what your thinking. "I'm fine." "Whatcha thinkin'?" Great. He had to go and ask that. Umm Think fast Chasez. "How beautiful you are." Good one. "Awww...that's sweet." Heh; heh, heh...I wish I didn't have to lie to him. I wish I could just tell him that I know he hates me. Oh god. He hates me. Oh no...no no no no no... Oh shit now your crying. Yeah there ya go Jc that's not gonna freak him out. No not at all. "josh...Josh what's wrong?" Great. Just. Great. "I...I can't..." "Josh you have to tell me." "I can't." "Do you want to end up in the hospital again with a tube down your throat?" I can't believe he brought that up. I can't belive he fcking brought that up. I know I fucked up but did he have to shove it in my face. "Get out." Oh shit. Why'd you say that? Because you idiot he doesn't love you. Why prolong the pain. "What?" "Get out of my room." He's just standing there. Oh god he's crying. No Justin don't cry oh god. Jc get up and hug him damn you. He's shaking. Oh god oh god. He's holding on to you so tight, how could you think he hates you!!! "Curly I'm sorry I just..." "What Joshua. You just what?" "I thought you didn't love me." Uh oh. He backed away. He's not holding you anymore. Uh oh... "What..." "You just...you're never close to me. Always doing something..." "And you thought I hated you?!" "Yeah..." Ok he's got his arms wrapped around you. And he's kissing your neck...oohhhhh...that's nice......involuntary moan. "I could never hate you." Look at those eyes. I want to just get lost in them. I could get lost in them. It would be better then any dream. It is better then any dream. "I love you josh." "I love you too." Oh! Look at that, you didn't even have to think about it! Yay me! Ok...ohhh where are his hands going...I don't think I care...ummmm...bed would be nice...nice sheets, Geez Jc why are you thinking about the sheets when Justin's...ohhhhhhhhhh... End chapter Chapter 9 I can't stand to be around him. I don't mean that in the bad way, it's just if I were to start something, I wouldn't be able to stop. He has this control over me. I mean after seeing him in that hospital...I was scared to death I was going to lose the love of my life right after finding out I had one. If he would have died I would have off-ed myself right there. I know it's Romeo and Juliet, but I would have. Now I have him. He's sitting in the bed reading, I can't bear to be near him. The lust and passion building inside me is horrid. I wouldn't be able to control myself if I got to close. Uh oh. Josh has that sad puppy face on now. What have I done now. Is he sick? What if he wants to kill himself again? Well, he smiled...not convincing enough. "Josh...Are you ok?" Ok...a pause...He's trying to think of an answer. Something's bothering him. But what? "I'm fine." Liar. "Whatcha thinkin'?" Another pause. "How beautiful you are." Some how I highly doubt that. Thoughts like that usually mean a smile not the downtrodden puppy face. "Awww...that's sweet." This is where you'd hug him you dork. Umm...is he crying? Oh no. I knew he was bothered by something. "Josh...Josh what's wrong?" Go sit by him, NO! why not. Because you idiot you don't go sit by someone when they are crying when you know that you are gonna end up...well you know. "I...I can't." Oh shit. He's being all secretive again. Isn't this how this whole thing got started! I am not going to lose him again "Josh you have to tell me." "I...I can't." Bullshit Jc. Fuck why won't he talk. He's scaring me again. "Do you want to end up in the hospital with a tube down your throat again?!" Uh oh. He's got that pissed look on his face. Sensitive subject. No! I won't take this. I love him too much to let him leave me. "Get out." ...Did he just tell me to get out? Oh bad, bad; bad. "What?" Why'd he say that? What did I do? "Get out of my room." He's telling you to leave. The one person who was willing to die for you is telling you to leave. Oh shit. Don't cry Justin, don't cry, don't...damn too late. He looks so sad. How is that possible after he just told you to leave. Hug him damn it. Tighter, Tighter, Tighter, ok that could be too tight. I don't care I don't want to let him go. "Curly I am so sorry, I just thought you didn't love me." What?! How? I don't think I want to know. "What? Why?" Ok so I do want to know. "You are never near me. Always doing something. I just figured. That you didn't want to be by me." "And that made you think I didn't love you?" We really have to open up the lines of communication. God I love him...his lips, his neck. I just want to bite it. Grrr. Oh yum. Kissy kissy kissy. OH! He's moaning. I got him to moan! Hurray! Oh...keep going Justin, lead him back to the bed. Nice sheets. Oh bad Justin. You guys have only been together a week, yeah. But I've loved him for a lifetime. ((<<>>)) Hmm...wonder what's in here. Nice Jeans, Nice boxers, ooooo really nice.... End Chapter "Never smile, you don't know when some one in falling in love with your smile." ~Justin Timberlake "These pants are so tight it's like I'm having sex with myself." ~Justin Timberlake