Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 21:24:53 -0700 (PDT) From: Chris Engelke Subject: Everything I Own, part 4 DISCLAIMER: Same as usual. If you are underage or do not like a gay romance story, then please leave. Otherwise, enjoy the story and please e-mail me with comments. I want to personally thank all of the wonderful people who have e-mailed me with their compliments. This is the first story I posted and I am quite sensitive about it. I have received some wonderful e-mails from people and I thank all of them. I need more feedback on what you do like and don't like. I especially want to thank a few people. First of all, I want to thank the authors of N Sync Love:Lance & JC and Rob & Lance. Both stories are what I strive for in my work. Next I want to thank Laugherboy, Mortis, and Tonny. Everyone's words, especially yours, meant a lot to me and really made me think. The person I want to thank most, however, is Phil, author of After N Sync. It really is a wonderful story and I think it was a brilliant idea to show what the group would be like in the future. Oh, and to Dave (aka Ryan), give Lance my e-mail addy! ROTF!! If you like my story, come to my homepage for it. It is a works in progress. The address is http://www.geocities.com/christopher_bass. "Everything I Own" by Chris CHAPTER FOUR Lance was in Justin's room, calling for an ambulance to come and take Justin to the hospital to try to find out what was wrong. Joey, JC, and Chris run into Justin's room, scared by what Mark told them what was wrong. Meanwhile, Mark was in the hall, pacing and crying. All of a sudden, Joel walks up to Mark. Joel doesn't know anything of what is going on or that Mark is crying. "Hey, Mark! What's up? I tried calling your hotel room and the clerk there told me you were here. What's going on? Did you change hotels on me without saying anything?" Joel asked. Mark turns around and sees Joel, who sees that Mark is crying. He is very concerned for his friend. "Mark! What's wrong? Speak to me! Tell me what happened!" Mark looked at Joel, not totally aware of the situation around him. He slowly got more aware. "Joel? Is that you?" Joel replied with compassion, "Yes, Mark. It's me." He hugged Mark. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Why are you here?" Mark realized that he needed to talk to someone that wasn't in 'N Sync and Joel was the perfect person to talk to. Over the last couple of years, Mark has told Joel a lot of his secrets, things he hasn't told too many people. He knew Joel could be trusted with this secret, which is one of the biggest of his life. "Joel, can you go in my room there?" He pointed to the room he was going to start sharing with Lance. "I will be back in a second." Joel walked into Lance and Mark's room and closed the door. Mark went into Justin's room to check him out. JC, Joey, and Chris were freaking out, while Lance stayed very calm. Mark was worried about Lance. He didn't know why he was so calm. "How is he?" Lance replied, "Still the same. I called the ambulance. I heard the talking in the hallways. Who were you talking to?" Mark answered, "His name is Joel. He's a good friend of mine who I have known for a couple of years. I have a lot to tell you. I don't know why he's here or how he knew I was here. He just saw me crying in the hall and asked me what was wrong." JC asked Mark, "What did you tell him?" "Nothing yet, but I can't lie to him?" Lance was scared. "How much are you going to tell him?" "That's up to you guys. He's going to find out that I was on Rosie's show and sang with you. There's no way or no reason to hide that. I won't tell him that we love each other, Lance, if that is what you want. I do want to tell him the rest." "Can he be trusted knowing we are together?" "Lance, I trust him with my life. I owe him my life. He's done more for me than everyone else I had ever met in my whole life combined. I love him deeply." Lance asked the rest of the guys, "What do y'all think?" Joey replied, "Do you trust Mark? I do. If he says this friend is OK, that is enough for me. Mark, you can tell Joel about me. " JC and Chris agreed. Lance looked at Mark and said, "OK. You can tell him what you want." "Are you sure?" Mark asked Lance. "I don't have to tell him if you don't want to." Lance replied, "It really is OK, Mark. If there comes a time when you need advice, it's good to be able to ask someone who is impartial. The guys are my best friends and now they are your friends too." Mark said, "Thanks, Lance. Thanks, Joey. I don't really have a best friend, but Joel comes the closest there is for me. Let me talk to him and I will meet you at the hospital. Call me on my cell phone and let me know where you are going." Mark gave the number to Lance and goes out of the room, in time to see the paramedics rush off the elevator. Mark pointed out the room to them and goes towards where Joel is. He saw that Joel has the door opened and sees the paramedics. "Let's go inside, Joel. I have a lot to tell you." Joel and Mark go back inside Mark's room and Mark closes the door. "Why are paramedics on this floor? Did someone die?" Mark began to cry again, very worried about Justin's condition. He couldn't believe that he was so concerned about someone he hasn't really met yet or talked with. However, he knew how much the rest of the guys loved Justin, so that was good enough for him. Joel hugs him and tries to comfort him until Mark stops crying. "Like I said, Joel, I have a lot to say. Let me start at the beginning. As you know, I was in the audience of Rosie O'Donnell's show. The taping was today." He saw a copy of the tape that Lance requested earlier. "I was able to get a copy of the tape. Because it was right after the show, it's a little rough. At least that's what I was told. Anyway, let me show you the beginning of the show to show you what happened." He put the tape into the VCR that was in the room and pressed the play button. The tape shows the introduction to the show, including Mark introducing Rosie. Joel was in shock. "Oh my God! You made it on camera! That is so cool!" Joel congratulated Chris. He contunued to watch the tape. He saw Rosie talking to Mark and was even happier for him. "Listen to this part. You will get a kick out of this part." >From the tape... "Well, Rosie, I am a huge fan of N Sync." The audience cheered even louder than before after I said that. I continued, "Like I said, I love N Sync and have since their first single was released in the States. I have their CDs, videos, and even a couple of posters. I even sing along with their CDs." Rosie beamed, "You sing, too? I love to sing! What's your favorite N Sync song?" I replied, "I love all of their songs, but my favorite by far has to be 'Everything I Own'. I grew up listening to the original version by Bread because my mom loved that group. It was a wonderful song. N Sync's version is so much better to me because I can feel the emotions of the guys. Also, the guys are incredible singers." Rosie replied, "Mark, why don't you sing a little bit from that song." Back in Mark's room, Joel's eyes were bugged out. "You SANG on Rosie's show? I am so proud of you!" he said. Mark admitted, "Yes, I did. I owe that to you. You gave me confidence in myself. If it weren't for you, I'd never have sang even a note. I would have chickened out for sure." Joel replied, "Thanks, but you did it on your own. Now let's listen to you." He listened to Mark singing "Everything I Own". He was very impressed. When the song was over, Joel stood up and gave Mark a standing ovation. "Funny, Joel!" Mark laughed. "I'm serious, Mark! You were great!" "It gets better." While Mark and Joel are talking, there is a commotion in the hallway. Mark knows it is the paramedics taking Justin away. "How does it get better?" "You heard who I said the guests were, right?" "Yes, Sean Hayes, Justin Kirk, and 'N Sync. Yes, I know how much you love 'N Sync and Lance Bass in particular." "Right. Well, I didn't know it then, but Justin is sick with a pretty bad case of the flu." "Was he able to sing with them?" "No. He stayed backstage for awhile then Chris got someone to bring him back to his hotel room. There was no way he could sing with them." "So, they sang without them? Just the four of them?" "Yes and no. Let me show you what happened." He fast fowarded the tape a little bit and got to the part of the show where Lance asked Mark to sing with them. "Which one did you decide on, " Rosie asked. "We ended up deciding to find someone to sing with us. Well, actually, we would ask someone to sing with us. Can I go into the audience?" Lance replied. Rosie agreed, and the audience screamed loud enough to rock the house. Lance got up and walked towards the audience. "We heard a most excellent singer today that we all believe will blend in well with the rest of us." Mark was shocked. "There is no way in hell he means me! I am nowhere near as good enough to sing with 'N Sync, if only for two songs on one show!" He says to himself. Lance keeps walking towards the audience. "It's also a great thing to do for such a dedicated fan of ours. I have to agree with something JC said backstage. We really do have the best fans in the world!" There is another scream from the audience. Lance is starting to wonder if the audience will scream at anything that he says. "We were all very impressed at how good he sang 'Everything I Own'. It's always been one of my favorite songs on our album." Mark gets so shocked at that comment that he almost hyperventilated. "Oh my God! He does mean me! Lance wants me to sing with them! I cannot believe this is happening!" Mark got more and more shocked as Lance came towards him. When Lance got to him and sat down on the aisle next to him, Mark started to cry. Lance started to speak, but stopped once he saw that Mark was indeed crying. Mark had his head down on his hands. Lance has seen many fans freak out, screaming and crying pretty badly. Sometimes he had a hard time believing that people could be that excited to see him. Those times, he always said something like, "Lance, you know it's not for you. They are screaming for the rest of the guys." He looked back at Mark and felt bad for him. "Mark, are you OK?" he said to Mark. Mark stops crying and looks up at Lance. He sees him smile and he smiles back. However, he still cannot believe what is happening. He asks, "You really want me to sing with you? All of you do?" Back in the hotel room... "Oh my God! You sang with 'N Sync?" Joel asked Mark. "Yes. I did." "Oh, God! I am so happy for you!" Joel hugs Mark again. "It gets even better than that, if possible." "How can it get better than that?" "I need to say a few things before I say the rest. I hope you don't think I don't trust you or anything. I do trust you with my life. I am only saying this to protect the other person." "I know you trust me. Anything you tell me stays with me. I will not tell anyone." "I know you wouldn't. I hope you're not pissed at me for asking you." "Of course I'm not. How can I be? What's so big that you even had to ask me?" "Do you believe in love at first sight?" "I most definitely do. I fell in love with David at first sight." "Before I tell you, let me play you the part of the tape where I sang with them." Mark plays the part of the tape where he sings "Music of My Heart" with the guys. After the song is over, he stopped the tape and looked at Joel with uneasiness. "You know," Joel started to say. "I have wanted to hear your music for a long time. I just never thought that when I finally did hear it, it would be under these circumstances." Mark was heartbroken. Joel's opinion mattered very much to Mark. "I was that bad," he asked Joel. "God, no! You were fabulous! I am so proud for you! I am so sorry if I made you think I hated it!" He hugged Mark again tightly. "No. I'm sorry. I am way to sensitive. I really hate that. I have changed so much the last two years, but I just cannot change this one thing!" "Mark, it's a good quality to have. You just can't let it take over your life. Anyway, I know what your big news is." Mark was surprised. "How can you know what it is?" Joel replied, "It's Lance, right?" "What?" "You're in love with Lance." Mark couldn't believe Joel guessed right. "But...how...I..." "I know you , Mark. Also, I saw how you looked at him when you were singing with him. He loves you too, right?" Mark started to cry again. Joel was immediately sorry he asked that last question. "I'm sorry, Mark! I just assumed he loved you, too. You will find someone else. I know it!" "Joel, Lance is the only one for me. I know that. He is my soul mate." "Mark, you know you can't think that. He's straight. You will find someone else who will love you back, someone who is gay." Mark knew that he had to tell Joel the full truth. "Actually, that's one of the things I need you to keep secret." Joel was now intrigued. "What is it? I really want to know now." "Joel, he's gay. Can we talk more about this on the way to the hospital? I really need to check up on Justin." "So, you do know what was going on before?" Joel asked. "Yes I do. Justin was initially at the studio, sleeping, but Chris got one of her workers to bring him back to his hotel room. When we got back to the hotel, the guys wanted to shower and rest after the long day, so I told them I would check on Justin for them." Mark started to tell Joel what happened. He was fighting hard not to cry. "I got in there and he seemed really still. At first I thought he was just sleeping, so I checked his temperature and he seemed way too hot for someone with the flu. So, I checked him further and saw he wasn't sleeping, but unconscious. I yelled for Lance to get in here, which he did. He called 911 while I got the rest of the guys in there. While JC, Joey, and Chris got into Justin's room, I stayed outside and basically fell apart, and that is when you saw me." "Wow! You really have been through a lot today!" Joel told Mark. "I know. That's not all of it either." Mark started to say, but his cell phone rang. He answered it. "Hello?" "Hey, Love!" It was Lance, of course. Mark decided to joke around with Lance. "Love? Hmmm... Who is that? John? Steve? AJ?" He was trying to keep a straight face while saying that, which was hard. Lance was cracking up. "Funny, Mark!" He paused for a second then realized what one of the names Mark said was. "AJ?" "Boy, you finally got that, huh?" Mark laughed harder. He stopped laughing pretty fast when he realized why Lance was calling. "How is Justin?" Lance calmed down considerably also. "He's in a coma." He started to cry again. Mark was in deep shock. "WHAT? Where are you?" Lance replied, "We're at Mercy." "OK. We'll be right there." "We? Is Joel with you?" Lance asked. Mark replied, "Yes." Lance was hesitant to ask the next question. "Did you tell him about us?" Mark replied, "Not yet, but he knows most everything." "He knows I am..." Lance couldn't finish the sentence for fear that someone in the hospital would hear him. "Yes. He will tell nobody. I trust him." "Then I trust him, too. Bring him please. I want to meet the person that changed your life so greatly." "Thank you. I love you." "I love you more!" Lance said. Mark hung up his phone. "Let's go!" Joel replied, "We'll take my rental car." Mark and Joel run out of the hotel and get into Joel's car. They speed towards the hospital. Mark was very worried about Justin. "He has got to be OK! I thought it was only a minor case of the flu!" "He'll be OK. So, tell me more about Lance." "What about him?" Mark asked. "He's really gay?" Joel asked in reply. "Yes." Joel had a hard time believing Mark. "You're sure about that?" Mark replied, "Yes. He had a brief affair with JC, but both of them realized that they didn't want to risk their friendship." Joel was totally amazed. "JC is gay too?" Mark was over the shock that three-fifths of 'N Sync weren't totally straight. "Yes. Joey is bisexual also." Joel realized that the topic had strayed and went back to what he wanted to know. "Let's get back to Lance. How do you know he's gay?" Mark started to explain. "I was freaking out pretty bad when I realized I was in love with him. I never believed in love at first sight. I thought he was straight. I told him I was gay, he didn't react too well and I ran off. Joey went to talk to Lance and JC went to look for me. When he found me, we talked and he convinced me to tell Lance how I felt about him. We went back and found Joey and Lance. I didn't tell him how I felt then." "Why didn't you?" Joel asked. "I showed him instead." was Mark's reply. "You showed him?" "I kissed him." Joel was in shock that someone as shy as Mark could do that. "Wow! That was way risky!" "I know. I couldn't believe I did it. I just realized that I had nothing to lose." "You had something to lose...their friendship. It seems that they accepted you into their family pretty fast." "You're right. I have been a huge fan for a long time and I never thought I would meet them, let alone be friends with four of them. You know, when that director of Rosie's show asked me to do the intro, I initially was reluctant to do it because I was so scared. You know what I was like when I spoke in front of the audience for that one show of yours." "You definitely were scared then." "I was petrified at first. I calmed down once I thought that I would never meet any of them face to face. I would just enjoy the show's taping, get some camera time, and see the guy I had a huge crush on for months." "So, is he a good kisser?" Mark sighed loudly and replied, "Oh God, yes! He is the best! The kiss was so passionate!" "He says he loves me, too." Joel cannot believe what he just heard. "WHAT?" "Joel, believe me, I am even more shocked than you are. I waited for a very long time for someone to actually love me. You know that I gave up on love ages ago. I didn't know what was wrong with me. Even after you got me to love myself, I still couldn't attract someone. I figured I was just too ugly." He starts to cry again and wonders if he can have just five minutes and not cry. "When I least expect it, I fall in love with someone at first sight and he loves me, too! The wierdest thing is who it is. James Lance Bass loves me!" "I am so happy for you!" Joel said as he puts a hand on Mark's shoulder and squeezes it. "I owe it all to you." Mark unabashedly said. "Me? No, Mark! It's all because of you." Mark disagreed with Joel. "No, Joel. Because of you, I am a much different and much better person. I owe you so much!" "I'm glad I have been such a big help to you. I knew you were a great person. I just needed to make sure you saw and believed it." Joel said. Mark was very grateful for Joel's friendship. "I do love you very much for everything you have done for me. I just wish I could repay you." "You have already." Joel explained to Mark. "More than you know you have repaid me." "How?" "You built my self-confidence in my work." "You did that yourself. The theater community saw how great an actor you are. You know how much they love you. They showed it when you won that award." "Maybe, but you have total faith in me. That is very important to me." "Well, it's easy to feel that way. You are such a brilliant actor." Joel pulled into the hospital parking lot. Both of them jump out of the car and run inside the hospital and over to the reception area. The nurse stopped them. "May I help you?" Mark answered. "Yes please. I am looking for Justin Timberlake's room!" "I'm sorry but I cannot tell you that." Mark got very upset again. "Why?" "Are you a family member?" The nurse asked. "No, but I am kind of a friend. I'm friends with the rest of the group." The nurse cannot believe Mark. She thought he was lying just to go in. "Yeah, right... and I am Britney Spears! I'm sorry, but you will have to leave." Mark started to cry again. "What? I cannot leave!" He cries harder. Joel tried to help Mark. "Mark, give me your cell phone and I will call Lance." Mark is about to give Joel his phone when the elevator opens and Lance comes out. He sees Mark is crying and runs to him. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asks, hugging him tightly. Mark can't speak, so Joel does. "Lance, I am Joel, a friend of Mark's." So, you're Joel!" Lance said, happy to finally meet him. "Mark has told me great things about you. I am so glad to finally meet you!" Joel shook Lance's hand. "Mark told me some stuff about you." "Can we talk after I bring Mark to Justin's room?" Lance asked. "Sure. I assumed you'd want to. You just want to make sure you can trust me. I just want to say right away that you can. I will never say anything he told me." "Thanks. I appreciate that." Lance replied. "I know where you're coming from. I'm an actor myself. If and when I get famous, I might have to hide my sexuality. It's a pretty small chance I have to, but if I do, I would feel the same things you do. I don't know how you do that." Lance, Mark, and Joel go up to the waiting room near where Justin is. JC, Joey, and Chris are there. "There you are, Mark." JC said. Mark replied, "Hey, JC. I had to talk to Joel and when we got here, the nurse wouldn't let us in. Thank God Lance came down here. How is he?" "His condition is the same." Joey said solemnly. "Joshua Chasez, Joey Fatone, and Chris Kirkpatrick, this is Joel, a good friend of mine. He's an actor and came down here with me because he had an audition." Mark said, introducing Joel to JC, Joey, and Chris. "Guys, this is Joel. He is responsible for raising my self confidence." The guys shook Joel's hand. While they waited for a doctor, they got to know each other. "Joel really helped you that much?" Lance asked Mark. Mark replied, "Yes, most definitely. I was totally different before I met him. I was very sad and very mad. I hated myself. I was suicidal off and on for way too many years." Lance started to get overly emotional again. "He saved your life?" Mark replied, "Yes, he did. I owe him my life." Upon hearing this, Lance ran to where Joel was sitting and hugged him very hard. "Thank you so much, Joel!" Joel was shocked by Lance's reaction. "He's a great person and a great friend." After a pause, he continued. "You really do love him, don't you?" With compassion, Lance replied, "I love him with all of my heart." Chris jokingly replied, "If you all are gonna get mushy again, I will be sick!" They all laughed. "So, how did the two of you meet?" Chris asked Joel. Mark asked Joel, "Do you want to tell the story?" Joel replied, "You can." Mark told the story. "I told you he is an actor. He is the best actor alive." Joel blushed. "It's true, Joel! He was in a play I saw. I was blown away by his performance and was so attracted to him right away. Of course I ended up being even more attracted to someone else." "Nick, right?" Joel asked. Mark continued. "Yes. I still miss him a lot. Anyway, I saw that first show twice. I had a chance to talk to Joel after the second time, but I was petrified. I didn't and I walked away even more depressed than I ever had been before." Joel said, "I didn't know that. Why were you so scared?" Mark simply replied, "You know I'm shy." Chris lauged. "You sure weren't shy when you sucked face with Lansten here!" Mark and Lance blushed deeply. Mark continued his story. "Anyway, I really hated myself for that. I didn't know it at the time, but God had a plan for me that involved him. A couple of months later, I saw him again. It was a few days after I realized it was him I liked and not Nick. However, it took me another month for me to make contact with him." Joel added, "I still have that note you know." Mark was skeptical. "No, you don't." Joel replied, "Yes. I do." Mark was amazed. "Wow! Thanks!" JC asked, "It was your usual fan letter?" "Far from it." Joel replied. "It was so beautiful!" "I still cannot believe I wrote some of that stuff!" Mark said. Lance asked, "Why?" "It was a big risk for me. I was still so down on myself, but I had been working out for a few months, so I felt a little bit better about myself. I told him I was attracted to him. It must have been wierd for him... a total stranger says all I did." Mark replied. Joel added, "He also quoted the first verse from the Savage Garden song 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'." Lance was almost jealous of what Mark did, but still appreciated it. "What a beautiful song!" JC asked a question that made Lance very nervous. "Did you ever fall in love with him, Mark?" Mark thought for only a second the was about to reply when Joel interrupted. "I don't think he ever did." Joel said. Mark appeared uneasy in his chair. "Uh...Joel? I did fall in love with you." Joel was quite surprised to hear that. "What? When?" he asked. Mark laughed. "Would you believe it was on your birthday this year?" Joel was still surprised. "Wow! I never ever saw that!" Joel smiled a little bit. Lance, however, was not happy. He grew very sad and lowered his head. Mark noticed Lance's change of mood. He looked at him with passion in his eyes. "James, what's wrong?" Lance replied, with tears in his eyes, "Just go with him, Mark. I wil be OK." Everyone else in the room stared at Lance in disbelief. Mark was the most shocked. "WHAT?" Lance continued. "You love him and I can see he loves you. Go with him and be happy." Mark replied, "James Lance Bass..... Scoopy, I am in love with you, not him. He's with someone. Even if he wasn't and he told me he loved me in that way, I would still love you." Joel added, "I do love him, Lance, but only as a friend." Lance was about to reply when a doctor came out into the waiting room. "I'm looking for James Bass." the doctor said. TO BE CONTINUED. Yes, no sex yet, but I want to explore the characters first. Again, I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of your e-mails. If you do want to make any comments again, e me at christopher_bass@yahoo.com.