Date: Mon, 02 Dec 2002 00:38:20 +0000 From: Pris G Subject: Fool - Part 4/14 Title: Fool. Author: Pris G. Pairing: I don't want to give it away since it's part of the plot but it's Josh-centric :) Part: 4. Feedback: I love it. Keep it coming! :) Rating: The whole thing is rated from PG-13 to NC-17. Warning: Angst and darkness. I was in a weird mood *shrugs* I didn't know this fic was going to go this way when I started it. Disclaimer: I don't know them. This is fiction. Don't sue me, I'm broke. Last note: Hope you enjoy it :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fool Part 4 By Pris G ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "C? What happened?" "Leave me... alone..." JC managed to say through his sobs, curling up even more as he leaned against the wall of the hallway by the door of his hotel room. "Are you ok? Jesus, JC, what happened here? Are you hurt?" "I can't... the key... it... won't work..." "Hey... it's ok..." Lance said softly as he pushed JC's hair away from his face and tried to make him look up at him, unsuccessfully. Lance had woken up in the middle of the night, listening to weird noises coming from the hallway. Seeing as they had the whole floor to themselves and some people in the tour crew, he thought it was weird and decided to check and see what was happening. When he opened the door to his room and looked to his right, he saw JC, curled up by his door, sobbing painfully, "C'mon, let's get you inside, ok?" He took the keycard JC had dropped on the floor before helping JC to his feet, putting one arm around JC's waist when he was standing and laying his head on Lance's shoulder, still sobbing. With his free hand, Lance opened the door and then managed to get JC inside the room before closing the door, "Hey, look at me..." Lance whispered as he made JC look at him, feeling scared at how sad his eyes looked "We're gonna get you in bed and then if you want to you can tell me what's wrong, ok?" "He... I..." "Shhh... One thing at a time... bed first, k?" He did his best to smile sincerely even if the state JC was in was scaring him. A lot. "OK..." JC took a deep and shaky breath and forced himself to walk to his bed, plopping down on it. Lance went to JC's wardrobe and took a beater and boxers for JC to put on and went back to the bed. JC just lay there, still crying but not full-out sobbing like before, while Lance managed to strip him down and helped him into the clean clothes Lance had gotten. Lance tucked JC in and sat down on the floor by the bed, near JC's head, as he watched JC curl up in a little ball under the covers "He... I... I asked him to... it hurt... but... but I could still feel... feel him... inside me..." JC whispered and he kept on saying things but Lance couldn't make much of them out. And the way JC's eyes kept staring straight ahead was sending chills up and down his spine. He didn't think he had ever seen someone's eyes look as empty and emotionless as JC's did in that moment. It was like he wasn't in there. And Lance didn't know what to do. "Shhh... Josh... Josh, look at me..." Lance whispered, trying in vain to get JC to look at him. He ran his right hand through JC's hair, dragging the back of his fingers down JC's cheek until JC took Lance's hand in his and hugged Lance's forearm to his body like it was a teddy bear, "Go to sleep, OK? You can tell me all about it tomorrow when you're rested." "Don't!" JC gasped and his eyes finally moved to settle on Lance's when Lance tried to take his arm away from JC's body, "Don't leave me alone!" He whispered, his eyes darting quickly all over Lance's face and settling back on Lance's own eyes, showing fear and despair at the notion of being left there, "Please!" "Hey, hey, calm down... I'm right here..." Lance whispered as he used his free hand to stroke JC's face, smiling even if it felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, "I'm not leaving..." Lance said softly as he slowly climbed onto JC's bed behind JC, spooning him so that the arm JC was holding onto was around him, "I'm right here..." "Stay... stay..." was all JC kept on repeating as he whimpered and clutched onto Lance's arm until finally sleep overtook him. For Lance, sleep wouldn't come so easily. He had never felt that scared in his entire life. Lance woke up the next morning and tried to remember where he was until he felt JC's body curled up beside his, JC's head on his chest, his arm thrown across Lance's chest. He raised his left arm slowly from where it rested on JC's back and looked at his watch, seeing it was 8am and wondering why someone was knocking on the door. Then Lance heard someone unlocking the door and saw Justin's head peek inside. When he saw Lance there he went to say something but stopped when Lance pointed JC who was still sound asleep, "I just came to ask if JC wanted to go for breakfast in Joe's room before we go on the bus," Justin whispered as he looked curiously at Lance. It was obvious that he was wondering what Lance was doing in JC's room. More precisely in JC's bed. With JC's body nearly attached to his. "You guys can go. I'll wake him up and ask him. We'll meet you there or on the bus, OK?" Lance whispered and glanced down when JC buried his face into Lance's neck but looked back at Justin when he saw that JC was still asleep. "Sure. Is, is he OK?" "Um... I, I don't know... I think he's just tired or something." Lance lied. He didn't know what had happened to get such a reaction from JC the previous night so he preferred not to say anything. In case JC didn't want to talk about it. "OK, see you guys in a bit." Justin waved and his eyes lingered a bit longer on JC's sleeping face before he turned to the door and left. Lance then took a moment to look at JC's face, the part that wasn't buried into Lance's neck anyway. He looked peaceful even if he looked a bit drained. He had dark circles around his eyes and he looked even thinner if that was possible but that wasn't because of anything that might have happened the night before. Lance had noticed how JC seemed to be even more withdrawn the past few weeks. JC usually spaced-out a lot and he seemed to dream with his eyes open all the time but the past few weeks it had gotten worse. It was like his life force had been sucked out of him. He wasn't energetic anymore except when they were on stage. That seemed like the only time lately when JC seemed truly happy and alive. And Lance watched it but didn't know what to do. JC was very private when it came to his life, as private as they were allowed to be anyway, and it was pretty difficult to get anything out of him. That was why the vulnerability and fragility JC had shown the night before scared and worried Lance. He was obviously in pain and it hurt Lance to think that maybe he couldn't make it better. He wouldn't be able to do it if JC didn't let him. "Josh? Hey..." Lance whispered when JC moved and his blue eyes slowly fluttered open, seeming momentarily confused as to where he was and who was there with him. "Um... Oh... Hey..." JC whispered as he slowly moved away from Lance and sat up, "Wh-, what time is it?" he asked, his voice throaty from just waking up. "Eight thirty," Lance replied as he sat up too, "Are you OK?" he asked as he put a hand on JC's shoulder. "Um... uh... yeah... I... I'm sorry for, you know, last night..." JC whispered while looking down at his hands that were trembling on his lap. "You don't have to apologize to me, Josh," Lance replied, inwardly praying that JC would face him. He hated seeing JC looking like this, like he was expecting someone to hit him if he looked up or moved at all, "You want to tell me about it?" "I... I can't... I'm sorry... I'm, I'm not ready... I..." "It's OK, C. It's OK." Lance smiled, even if a little subdued, when JC finally looked up at him, "Justin came in here to ask if we wanted to go have breakfast with them in Joe's room." "I... I need to take a shower... and I still gotta pack..." "I still gotta pack and shower too so how about I go back to my room, do what I gotta do, then I come here and we go to Joe's see if they left any food for us?" Lance asked and inwardly cheered when JC smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess we can do that." JC's smile widened a bit as he looked up at Lance. "OK, I'll come back in a few then..." Lance stood up from the bed after getting his glasses from the bedside table and smiled at JC before leaving to go to his room. When he got there he phoned Joey's room, asking him if they had saved any food for him and JC, before he went to shower. He felt exhausted and his neck was aching like a bitch and he couldn't help but moan when the warm water beat down on his back and neck but unfortunately he didn't have long since he still had to shave and pack some stuff. When he had finished everything he had to do and checked twice to see if he wasn't forgetting anything, he called the reception to tell them to come and get his stuff before he took his laptop and keycard and left. He knocked on the door to JC's room and soon JC came and opened the door. Lance thought JC seemed to look a bit better but he still wasn't the usual bundle of energy. Lance didn't know what to do but he had promised himself he wouldn't push JC, since he seemed to be hurt enough already without adding Lance's prying into the picture, "You ready to go?" "Yeah. But... um... first I... thanks," JC said and hugged Lance, "Thanks for helping me out and thanks for not prying." "You're welcome, C." Lance smiled as he hugged JC back. Lance still had a lot of questions and he was still worried but for now this seemed good enough. TBC... Hmmm... So, is anybody still reading this? I guess it's becoming easier to figure out where this is going, right? Pris