Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2000 20:40:06 EST From: MrClean290@aol.com Subject: Forever in my Heart 4 Disclaimer: I only wish i knew them, but yet I dont, so that mean i dont know what they do behind closed doors, its a story, go with it! WOW, you would not believe the amount of feedback i have gotton for just 3 chapters, lol. but wow, thank you so much for taking an interst in this story, now if yall could pay that much attention to my other ones, i'm kidding, do as you please! Anyway. Read, enjoy, and as always feedback is the best!!! Thanks for reading! ~ Elisheva ----> MrClean290@aol.com Chapter 4 " Nicky. Please talk to me. What was the dream about?" " You know." " But I need for you to tell me." " Why? You've heard it a million times before." " Nick! Don't fight me on this please." " Please, Bone, don't. Don't make me relive it." " You need to talk about or you will keep having nightmares." " I'm fine." " Stop with the pride shit! It's me, I love you, don't give me bullshit!" AJ stopped walking and turned to Nick. " What? What do you want me to say? Want me to go that shrink you had me go to years ago? You know what he did for me. Nothing." AJ shrunk back. When the group was just starting out, the group decided that Nick and AJ should see a therapist, so that the business wouldn't destroy them. They both went for about four years, until Kevin, Jane, and Denise thought they could make it in the world and not be pushed around. After they stopped seeing the therapist, Nick began to have the nightmares. AJ was the only one to soother his cries. " AJ?" " Yes?" AJ said softly " Why don't you talk about it?" " It?" " It." " Please don't Nick." " I go to hell and back overnight, because of you, the least you could do is talk, to me, about it." " I don't know what you're talking about Nick." " What are you talking about." AJ never talked about it. Nick would have nightmares, and AJ would soothe his cries, but AJ never let his own tears fall down his face. He had to stay strong for Nick. " Come now, let's get back to the hotel, the guys are probably worrying." AJ walked ahead of Nick back to the hotel. Nick followed but at a slower pace. He studied his lover's back. He stood so tall, as if he was strong and nothing could hurt him. Nick knew the truth. He just wished that AJ would stop believing that he had to be the strong one. Kevin put his things together in his bunk. He hated riding in the tour bus, but it had to be done. He put his things in the bunk farthest to back. Nick and AJ shared but usually got separate bunks, in the case that they fought. Brian slept nearest to the bathroom and Howie to the kitchen. Kevin sat down at his laptop prepared to spend the day checking mail when he remembered that he had to share the bus with four loud and sometimes annoying men. Still, he signed on and hoped he had at least ten minutes with out interruption. " Come on lover, the bus awaits." " How many times must I tell you NOT to call me that." " Sure thing, lover." " D, I swear, life on the bus is hard enough, we don't need to complicate things with an untimely death do we now?" " Haha. Very funny, you know you should take your act on the road." " I do." " Fuck you." " Like I said, anytime." " So you'll fuck me, but wont be my lover, I'm insulted." " Shut up Howard and get on the bus!" Nick and AJ looked at each other, then back at the two men getting onto the bus. Their mouths were hanging open, shocked. They ran to the bus and sprinted on. They looked for the happy couple but only found Howie, cooking in the kitchen. Nick nudged AJ to talk. AJ walked forwards a bit until he a few feet from Howie. How caught him staring and stopped stirring. " What the fuck is wrong with you man?" " Wrong? Nothing." Brian walked into the kitchen to grab a water bottle and stared at Nick who was staring and AJ who in turn was staring at Howie. " Sorry to interrupt this staring contest boys, but what the fuck is going on?" AJ looked at Brian, then back to Howie. Nick looked from Howie then back to his best friend. They were all so lost in looking at each other they didn't notice that Kevin had walked in and was looking at all of them. Kevin grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and threw it at his friends who seemed to be in a trance. The four men jumped at the cold. They turned and all stared at Kevin as if he were the devil. " Get him!" Nick yelled. All of a sudden, Kevin found himself at the bottom of a pig-pile in the TV room. Kevin kept his eyes closed as his body hit the floor. He looked up and saw that AJ had crashed down onto his body, then Nick, Brian, and Howie. He looked into AJ's eyes and he could almost feel his lips on him. AJ looked down at Kevin and felt his breath on his face. AJ took in a quick breath. He tried to shift his weight around, when he did this, his crotch fell right onto Kevin's. It was now time for Kevin to take a sharp breath. He turned his head, so he wouldn't look at AJ. AJ looked at his friend's face very carefully. AJ couldn't tell what was going on inside of Kevin. It looked like Kevin was trying not to cry, but AJ had never seen Kevin cry so he wasn't sure. " Kev, you alright?" AJ asked? " Yeah, just a little hard to breathe." Kev replied nonchalantly. " Sorry man, I'd get up but I have three people on top of me." AJ turned his head and saw that only Nick was still on him, but he was deep in conversation with Brian. " Nicky, sweetie, get off me." " Why? I like it here, it's kinda kinky." " We can do kinky later, but we have to leave Kevin out of it." " Alright." Nick semi-whined to his lover. " And stop whining it won't do you any good." AJ snapped at Nick. " Well excuse me!" Nick yelled back and stomped off to his own bunk. " What was that about?" Howie looked to AJ with questions." " I don't know, I'll be back." AJ ran to the bunks leaving the other three guys looking back at them. " I swear, you better go for it when they fight, or else you might not get him." " Who are you talking to and about?" " You two, them two." " Howie, what are you on?" " Look, they know about it, you know they know, you might as well go for it." " They are not broken up yet." " Yet being the operative word." " What do you have to gain from this?" " Me? Nothing but the happiness of my friends." He told Brian as he left the room. " Bullshit. You're up to something Howie, and I will find out what it is." Brian turned back to talk to his cousin only to find that Kevin was not there. He was standing at the edge of the bunks looking at Nick and AJ talk. Brian went to join him. Brian put a hand on his cousin's shoulder and Kevin jumped a bit. " It's so bad Bri, I think I love him." " I know how you feel cuz." " You do?" " I love him, but I'll never get him." " You never know." " But I do. He loves AJ with more than his heart, with his soul and his everything as well. Even if they broke up, he would still love him." " That's true for AJ too. They have been through too much together to be apart." " That's for sure." " Does Nick still have dreams?" " He did last night. But I think that was because he and AJ had different rooms." " Why?" " I dunno, a fight, they wanted to cool off, but they were meant for each other." " You believe that? Even though you love him." " Maybe he isn't the one for me." " Again, you believe that?" " I have to." " Why?" " Or else I'll go crazy." " Aje, I'm sorry." " What's going on Nick?" " I dunno." " Yes you do." " I can't tell you." " Why?" " You'd hate me." AJ put his hands on Nick's face and turned his head. " I could never hate you." " I want sex." AJ dropped his hands and got up. " What?" " I was to feel you inside me. I want to make love to you. AJ I would never hurt you, I love you-." " Don't! You know how I feel about sex. How could you?" " AJ, please. I was only thinking about it." " Yeah well so did he, but then he acted on it, we're you gonna do the same thing? You were weren't you? Weren't you?" " How can you accuse me of something like that. I was there for you. I tried to stop it." " But you couldn't could you? You didn't try hard enough." " I was only 15, please AJ I tried so hard." " This is your fault. You made me go." " No, I didn't, believe me." Nick fell to his knees; he looked up at AJ with tears in his eyes. " How could you bring this all up again?" AJ fell to his knees and wept into his hands. " You asked what was wrong." " So now this is my fault?" " Please AJ, we don't have to talk about it." " I'll never tell you what happened." " Why, I love you. Why can't you tell me." " I just cant! Stop pressuring me." " I don't mean to." " But you want a good fuck? Were you just with me all this time waiting to fuck me?" " Please don't put words in my mouth." " You want a fuck so badly? Go to your best friend. You know he's wanted to get into your pants since the beginning." " AJ! No, I would never have sex with Brian, you're the only man I would want to have sex with, but you don't want that, why?" " Get away from me." " Please, AJ, this discussion, I'm so confused." " I can't look at you right now." AJ got up and walked to the kitchen. Nick stayed on the floor. He was crying. He was so confused. He was being truthful and AJ closed up again. He didn't know how to help the man he loved, and he was getting sick of the fights. He looked up and saw Brian looking down at him. He looked at his friend with cold eyes. " Why Brian? Why do you have to love me too?" " I'm sorry Nicky, I just do." AJ stood at the bunks and listened to Nick as he talked to Brian. AJ felt so bad. All he wanted to do was take Nick in his arms and hold him, kiss him, and make love to him, but he was too scared. Nevertheless, he knew he wrong to yell at Nick. Nick looked back to the floor. He looked up at Brian who was still looking back at him. " I can't deal with this, why now?" " I'm sorry Nick, but I can't help my feelings." " I know, but Brian, why me." " Why not you?" Nick looked up at Brian, his eyes still cold, but the tears made them soften. " Oh Brian. I love AJ, don't I?" ~~~~~~~~ OOO i wonder, hmmmm, whose gonna end up with who? i dont know, honestly i dont, :)