Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 18:20:42 -0400 From: DJ Subject: Forever-105-107 Disclaimer ---------- This story is fiction and completely in the mind of its author. The author makes no claims as to the sexuality or personality of any based-on-reality characters you may find here. It's fantasy, kids. Remember that. Don't read this story if you're too young, or if it's illegal where you live. Frankly, you should consider finding a new place to live if it's illegal, cause it must be a damn boring place where you are now. Enjoy! And now...'Forever'... Chapter 105 Bryce was waiting for us when Kevin led me into the studio. I reintroduced myself to him, but it seemed he remembered me from our meeting months prior. There were only the three of us there this morning. The other guys were still off for the weekend. I was surprised that the studio would do weekends, but I figured that the label had probably put forth enough `encouragement' to make it worth their while. I spent the day just watching Kevin work. It was a little disjointed at first because I couldn't hear the other tracks that were being mixed in. Bryce eventually caught on to my confusion and allowed me to listen in to what had already been recorded while Kev was recuperating. I had to admit, the new stuff sounded great. I wasn't hearing final mixes, obviously, but from what I could tell, the guys had once again managed to outdo themselves. I knew they'd had to, given the tough market out there for them. I kept a close eye on Kevin all day. He didn't seem as exhausted as he'd been the night before when he'd met me at the airport, but I didn't want to chance him wearing out again. So, I called for breaks any time he seemed like he was pushing too hard. Bryce was amazingly understanding. I decided that I liked him, even if he was just letting the extra time go because he was well paid for it. He didn't have to be spending his Saturday in here, and he didn't have to let some boyfriend-off-the-street dictate any schedule. But, he was here, and he did let me play dictator, which I appreciated. "Ok, Kevin, I think we can call it a day," Bryce spoke through the mic at Kevin. I rose and stretched myself when I heard his words. I hadn't moved in a few hours, and my body was protesting the treatment. "Thanks, Bryce," Kev said as he slid his headphones off. I walked over to the door to greet him, noting that he didn't seem as tired as yesterday. Maybe the sleep the previous night had been enough to revitalize him a bit. "Ready to go, Dylan?" Kev asked, interrupting my mental examination of him. I simply nodded, then waved a little to Bryce as we walked outside. "What d'ya feel like doing tonight?" he asked as we climbed into his rental car. "Well," I began, "I suppose we should spend some time with the guys. When do you have to be back in tomorrow?" "I don't have to go in tomorrow. They gave us all tomorrow off to recuperate. But, it's back to it on Monday bright and early." "Very cool," I replied. "How `bout we see if the guys want to hang tonight, then we take the day tomorrow for ourselves? Maybe drive along the coast? Do a picnic?" "That sounds good to me," he answered as we pulled out of the parking lot and began the drive back to the hotel. The ride was quiet. We were both just enjoying each other's presence and didn't really have much to say, anyway. I opened the sunroof to take advantage of the twilight glow overhead. Nick was the only one around when we got back to the hotel. He'd returned earlier today from his vacation. Brian was still visiting Leighanne, but Howie and AJ were in town already. Nick wasn't sure where they'd gone. "Did you wanna catch a movie or something, Nick?" I asked as we gathered in his room. "That sounds cool. I'm not really up for clubbin' tonight. Too much partying on vacation," he replied, giving me a small smile. "How `bout we get something in our room and just veg?" Kev suggested. Nick and I both nodded. We agreed to hook up in our room in fifteen minutes. "Should we wake him up?" I asked Kev when the movie ended. "Nah, let him sleep," he replied, sounding pretty sleepy himself. "He's missed you, ya know." "I missed him, too," I said softly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping Nick. "Not as much as you, though." I leaned into Kev and gave him a light kiss. We were all three lying on the king-size bed in our room. Nick had managed to make it through one movie and half of a second before dropping into unconsciousness. Kevin and I weren't far behind. I was in between them again. I wasn't sure how I always ended up in this position, but there wasn't much to do about it. Fortunately, Nick wasn't really crowding me too much, so it wasn't uncomfortable in any way. Kev shut the TV off with the remote, then curled up around me. We somehow ended up totally entangled, both of us on our sides and facing each other. My back was to Nick, who was gently snoring on his side of the bed. "You doing better tonight, love?" I asked Kev as we lay there drifting. "Yeah, a lot. Just needed you here for that good night's sleep," he replied. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Well, I'll stick around as long as you'll have me, Kev," I answered, my voice starting to fog over in sleep. "Then you'll be around for a while, sweetie, cause I plan on having you forever." We slept. Chapter 106 Warm lips on the back of my neck. A smooth hand gently wrapped around me from behind, sliding my t- shirt up. Bare skin against my now-naked back. The hand moving now, down under the waistband of my boxer-briefs. Stroking. Squeezing. Heating. A hard shaft pushing against my barely covered crack, wanting entry. I moan. A voice answers. The shock of that moan broke me from my sleep. What I'd thought was a dream was actually happening. And it wasn't Kevin's hand on me. "Dylan..." It was Nick's. And he obviously knew what he was doing. I reached down and grabbed his wrist, yanking his hand from my crotch. I quickly moved from the bed, trying to be careful enough not to wake Kevin. When I turned back, Kevin was still sleeping. Nick was up on one elbow, staring back at me. He'd somehow managed to get his pants and underwear down enough to expose his cock. And it was hard. And it definitely wasn't "little Nicky". I turned my back on him, digging furiously through my suitcase, feeling around for a pair of sweats. When I came up with them, I quickly unfolded them and stepped in, yanking them up and tying the string at the waist in definite, hard movements. I threw one last angry glare at Nick before turning and walking from the room. I did have the presence of mind to keep the door from slamming, but that was about all. `Dammit,' I thought as I slammed out the door to the roof. `Why does this keep happening? First AJ, now Nick. Who's next? Brian?!?!' I kept going back to the room in my mind, trying to work out what'd really happened. It had been obvious to me that Nick was awake when he was...exploring. He'd known exactly what he was doing. I'd been deep enough asleep that I might've even let him continue if his voice hadn't tipped me off. I was furious with him for taking advantage of me like that. I was furious with him for doing that to Kevin. Mostly, though, I was just...confused. Nearly every thing I'd ever learned about Nick up to this point told me that he was straight. There were any number of rumors and innuendoes to the contrary painting him as a happy little queer boy, but the fact is that his behavior up to now had pretty much dumped him into that `hetero' category. And now, tonight, he decides to change that? With me, who's engaged and soon-to-marry one of his best friends? Who has thus far been nothing more than a friend to him? I paced the roof of the hotel, walking back and forth along the edge. I was tired of this, of all the games, of all the weird background shit that always seemed to go on where the guys were concerned. The great majority of the time, they were all very nice, level-headed, fun-loving guys to be with. And then they pulled something like this from out of nowhere, and I had to wonder if they were all dropped on their heads as small children. "Dylan," Nick's voice came across the roof. "Nick, don't even start with me," I warned, in no mood for him at the moment. "Dylan, please, lemme explain," he pleaded as he walked closer to me. "What the fuck is there to explain, Nick? I wake up to find you practically fucking me. Not only that, but WITH KEVIN RIGHT THERE! Nothing strange about that, right? Nothing to explain?!" I turned away once more and stalked to the corner of the roof furthest from him. I decided in the back of my head that it was a good thing we were alone on the roof, cause I was about ready to scream my head off. "Dylan, please, I'm sorry," he began again, but I cut him off with a glare. "Yeah, you're sorry, Nick. You're also STRAIGHT!" I yelled. "And how exactly do you know that?!" he yelled back at me, his voice raising to match my own. That pretty much stopped me short. Even with tonight's little escapade, I still pictured Nick as straight, as a nice-but- unfortunately-het young man that I was pleased to know and call friend. "Huh, Dylan?" he asked, bringing my attention back to him. "How do you know I'm straight?" "Nick, you've never said or done anything that would indicate otherwise, ok?" I paused, trying to come up with something. "Hell, you've even slept with both Kevin and I when we were naked and never made any kind of move whatsoever. Why would I think you were anything but straight?" "I know, Dylan. But...there's not much point in hiding something if you do things to give it away, is there?" he asked softly. "Nick," I began, then stopped, unsure whether I should ask the next question. I was also unsure I wanted to hear the answer. "Are you trying to tell me you're gay?" He didn't answer for a minute. "No..." `Thank God,' I thought. "Yes..." `Oh crap,' I thought. "I dunno," he whispered. I thought he was going to start crying. I started to step towards him, but I found I couldn't. Part of me was still angry over tonight, over how he'd touched me, tried to use me for...what? "Why, Nick?" I asked. "Why do what you did tonight?" "Because, Dylan," he replied, his voice now so soft that I could barely make out the words. "I'm in love with you." Chapter 107 To say I was stunned would NOT do justice to my feelings. Amazed. Flabbergasted. Near heart-attack levels. That'd probably start to come close. "Nick," I began, then stopped. I was trying to figure out how in the world to respond to that. "Nick," I began again, then stopped again. I had no idea what to say. "I'm sorry, Dylan," he said. "I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have done what I did to you tonight. I just...I woke up and there you were. And...I couldn't stop...it just happened. I've dreamed about it, ya know? And there you were..." his voice died off into the night. I stood there, still unable to speak. Nick was my friend. Probably the one man besides Kevin that I trusted the most in the world. And I'd had absolutely no clue whatsoever about any of this. "Nick," I finally found my voice again, "how do you know this? Why me?" "God, Dylan," Nick's voice betrayed some frustration...and some tears. "I don't know. Why's the sky blue? Why's the world round? Why do you still suck at Nintendo after knowing ME almost a year?" "I don't know why I feel like this," he continued. "I've never had feelings for a man before. Not even vague curiosity. All I know's that, ever since that first night in the hospital when Kev was stabbed, you're constantly in my head." "I think about you all the time. I always want to be around you. I want to protect you, to take care of you. I've had to force myself to leave you alone so you wouldn't suspect anything. I even dream about you...about you and I being together. And when I think of you with Kevin..." he stopped a moment, looking away. "I hate him, Dylan. I hate him for having you. I hate knowing that he's down the hall, making love to you. I hate knowing that he has not only your body, but also your heart." His voice dropped again. "And I hate myself so bad for that." We stood there, facing one another in the predawn Los Angeles night. For probably the first time in my life, I was totally and utterly speechless. Even my inner smartass was absolutely silent. My mind was in turmoil. My heart was breaking at the obvious pain that Nick was going through. And I was frustrated and angry with myself because I knew there was nothing I could do to make it better. "I don't...I don't know what I should say, Nick," I told him. "I do love you, but it's like a brother, like the closest of close friends." I stepped over to him, then, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing. "But, the fact is that I love Kevin. With all of my heart and soul. And nothing will change that. I think we've proven that nothing CAN change that." There were tears in my eyes now. They matched the ones flowing from Nick's face. "I really am sorry, Dylan. For taking advantage of you tonight," he said softly, staring into me with those bluer-than-blue eyes. "I know, Nick. I can't say I forgive you just yet, but at least I can understand it a bit. I've been where you are before...loving someone who doesn't know it and can't really return the same kind of love. It's hard, and it doesn't always leave us thinking right." I tried to comfort him as best I was able. "I...I think I wanna go back to my room," he said, shifting his gaze away from mine. I didn't have anything to say, so I just nodded and let go of his shoulder. He turned from me then and walked over to the door. He paused at the entrance, looking like he wanted to say one last thing. Then, he let out a sigh and walked, defeated, through the door, leaving me alone in the night to contemplate this latest twist in my life. I don't know how long I stayed on the roof. The sun was well in the air before I even realized that it was up. I was deeply lost in my thoughts. I had no idea what to do about Nick. Judging by his reactions tonight, he truly did have feelings of some kind for me. But, how had he gone so long without me realizing it? The answer to that was simple of course. Kevin. I'd been so focused on Kevin that everyone and everything else had become a distant second. The fact that I'd missed AJ's relationship with Scot was proof enough of that. There was no answer where Nick was concerned. Nothing I could say would change how he felt. Whether it was truly love or just...infatuation, he'd feel it no matter what. It was the nature of such feelings. My concern now was Kevin, and how he'd react when he found out. I had no doubt that he'd find out somehow. My relationship with Nick was now irrevocably altered, and there was no way someone as tuned in to my feelings as Kevin was could miss that. Would Nick quit the group to avoid Kev and I? I truly hoped he wouldn't consider that. I knew in my heart that it would be the end of BSB, and probably create an irreparable schism between Kevin and Nick. And I would be stuck in the middle of it all. I sighed and shifted from my place on the roof. There was nothing I could do about all of this now. And Kevin would be up soon looking for me if he wasn't already. I think he was still a little twitchy that I'd run away again, in spite of my promises not to do so. Frankly, I couldn't blame him too much. If I encountered something bad enough, I would leave, promise or no promise. Survival instinct, I guess you could say. I turned to make my way down the stairs and back to my once-again-twisted life. To be continued...