Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 21:54:34 -0400 From: DJ Subject: Forever 120 Disclaimer ---------- This story is fiction and completely in the mind of its author. The author makes no claims as to the sexuality or personality of any based-on-reality characters you may find here. It's fantasy, kids. Remember that. Don't read this story if you're too young, or if it's illegal where you live. Frankly, you should consider finding a new place to live if it's illegal, cause it must be a damn boring place where you are now. Enjoy! And now...'Forever'... Chapter 120 The next three days were...well, they were hell. Kevin and I didn't speak. We barely even saw each other. The few times we did, we just exchanged looks. I couldn't really say what I read in those looks. But, I know he saw pain in mine. I stayed with AJ in his spare bed. I'm sure that raised a few eyebrows somewhere, given the history between the two of us, but I didn't care. For some reason, AJ was the friend I wanted and needed around me at that time. The estrangement with Kevin brought up another point. Money. I was still living off of Kevin since I'd quit my job months ago. With us fighting, I wasn't really living. I couldn't exactly go ask him for help paying the bills. That just added to my worries. By the third day, I wasn't leaving the hotel room. Seeing Kevin hurt too much. I couldn't seem to find the words or the deeds to get past this. I know I wanted to be with him. The hurt of those three days proved the fact that I had only slipped when I said `when'. I couldn't imagine a day down the road when I wouldn't want to be with Kevin. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to fix it. I lay in bed, watching some talk show on TV. It was a local show, one I'd never seen before. It was one of those depressing topics, about losing a loved one to someone else. It was exactly what I needed to help me become even more depressed about my current situation. The knock on the door roused me from my focus on the TV. I ignored it, hoping whoever it was would go away. They knocked again. "Dylan," Brian's voice came through the door. "Come on, man, I know you're in there." I sighed and drug myself out of bed, stumbling over to the door. "Damn, Dylan, when was the last time you showered?" he asked as he walked in the door. "You look like hell." "Piss off, Brian," I said quietly as I pushed past him and crawled back into bed. "'fraid I can't do that, DJ," he said, his voice purposeful and upbeat. "This has gone on long enough, and it's time for it to be fixed." "Nice words, Bri," I replied. "But they're just words. You can't fix some things with words." "Nope, ya can't," he said. "But, some things can ONLY be fixed with `em. Now," he reached down and grabbed the blankets, "get your sorry butt outta that bed and into a shower." "No," I said. He yanked the blankets from my body. "It wasn't a request, Dylan," he said, his voice suddenly very firm. Reminded me of his cousin. "Now, get your ass in that shower. We're going out." I gave in and headed for the bathroom. I made short work of shaving before I climbed in the shower. I scrubbed myself from head to toe, making sure to take an extra long time. If I was gonna have to take his orders, I was gonna take my own sweet time. "Ready?" he asked as I walked out of the bathroom half an hour later. "Where're we going?" I wondered as I sat on the bed to put on my shoes. "Just over to the park," he replied. "I don't wanna go too far without Tom." We donned caps, gloves, and sunglasses along with our winter jackets. New York in January wasn't exactly like Orlando. Besides, the hat and glasses might help keep the recognition factor down. It was just another reminder of the way the group interfered with my life. I followed Brian from the room with another deep sigh. "You need to understand something, Dylan," he said. I just nodded, indicating he should continue. We were sitting on a bench in a relatively quiet part of Central Park. It'd taken us twenty minutes to find the spot, but the privacy was important to him. "When Kevin and I were growin' up, people talked a lot about marriage. About how important it was, about how sacred it was, and about how it was gonna be forever, so we'd better be careful about who we chose to be with." "Brian," I interrupted him. "I was raised Catholic, remember? I was raised with that same belief." Brian shook his head. "It's not just that, though, Dylan. It's not a belief. It just...how do I explain it?" He paused, thinking. "We don't divorce," he said. "Period. It's not even something we consider. Ever." "And...?" I wondered where this was going. "And, you proposed coming up with something that could only happen if you and Kevin divorced. And, there was that other thing..." he trailed off and looked away. "You can say it, Brian. There was the fact that I told Kevin I could use it WHEN I leave," I said. He nodded. "Brian," I said, hurt and frustration filling my voice. "I didn't mean it, okay? I don't even know why I said it. I only know I didn't mean to say it." "Dylan," Brian asked, "why did you bring up the prenup?" I sighed. "Brian, I don't know if you can really understand where I'm coming from with this. I don't know if you've ever been on my side of things." "Your side?" he wondered. "You're the celebrity, Brian," I told him. "Kevin's the celebrity. I'm just a `hanger on', some `outsider' who's come in to take Kevin away. Someone who's just out to use him...to hurt him." "Do you really believe that?" Brian wondered. "No," I answered immediately. "But a lot of people out there do believe it. And I wanted to sign the prenup so that..." I faded out. "So that what, Dylan?" Brian persisted. "So that Kevin wouldn't ever doubt why we were together," I said softly. "So people would stop saying all that hateful crap about me." "Dylan, there are three things I know at this moment," Brian said. "One, Kevin loves you so much, it would never occur to him that you might be after his money. Two, we all know how you dislike the spotlight, so none of us, your friends and family, would ever consider you were with him for THAT reason." He paused. "And what's number three?" I wondered, looking into those stellar blue eyes of his. "Three is the fact that, no matter what you do, no matter how perfect you are, people are gonna say things about you. And a lot of those things are gonna be pretty mean," he said with obvious reluctance. "Thanks," I said, my voice pretty low on enthusiasm. Brian sighed, a little exasperated. "Dylan, it's a fact of life in our world. You've heard the saying about how you can't please everyone all the time?" he asked. I nodded. "For us, that saying is just all the more true. We're in the public eye. Millions of people watch our every move, every day. Whether they like us or hate us, we're there for now. That means that you're there, too. Like it or not, you're a public figure now," he said. "I didn't ask for that, Brian," I said. "I know, Dylan," he replied. "But it's a fact, so get over yourself." I raised my eyebrows at his bluntness. He just gave me a small smile. "Dylan, do you love Kevin?" "With everything I am," I replied instantly. "Do you believe he loves you?" "Yeah, I do," I answered again, more softly this time. "Then does it honestly make a difference what anyone else thinks about your motives? Isn't Kevin's opinion on that subject the one that matters?" he wondered. His point finally sank in. "Of course, Bri," I said. "Then forget about the rumors. Forget about the public. And BE with him. He doesn't care about the gossip, and neither should you," he summed our whole talk into that one sentence. "But, what about the other, Brian?" I asked, remembering my other issue. "How do I get through to him that I didn't mean what I said? He won't even talk to me. He barely acknowledges I'm there." "Dylan," Brian spoke up after a thoughtful pause. "My cousin's a stubborn ass when he wants to be. But, I guarantee you that he's just as hurt right now as you are. And, I guarantee you that he regrets what he said that night more than you can imagine." I stared into his eyes, looking for any sign of doubt in him. I didn't find anything but quiet conviction. I marveled at the...serenity and confidence that I sensed in him. I could only dream of being so at peace with myself and the world around me. I was glad he was there, though, to share that confidence with me. "Do you still have your room key?" he interrupted my staring. "Yeah, I think so," I said, turning away. "What do you suggest?" "Well," he said, "I suggest we walk back. Then, I suggest you go to your room, yours and Kevin's, and you let yourself in. And then," he paused, turning to look at me again. "Then I suggest you just let things happen as they happen. Trust me." He said those two words, and I knew that I could. I nodded, giving him a small smile. Somehow, I felt a sense of peace inside. Maybe talking with Brian had given me a share of that serenity I'd sensed in him before. We stood and began to walk back to our hotel. I stared at the door, afraid once more to enter. Brian had left me standing here. I think he'd sensed that I'd need some time to gather my courage. The peace I'd found during our talk was still there, but the fear of what lay ahead was nearly overwhelming everything else. I sighed, deciding to finally just take the chance and go for it. After all, I could trust Brian. I slipped my keycard into the reader, then pushed the door open when the indicator light turned green. Kevin was lying on the bed, on top of the covers, fully clothed. He was on his side with his back facing the door. There was a lamp on in one corner of the room, but he didn't appear to be using the light. As near as I could tell, he was asleep. "Kevin?" I spoke softly, unsure whether I should wake him up. Actually, I was unsure whether I even WANTED to wake him. He shifted when I spoke, though, so I knew he was awake. "Kevin...I...," I started to speak, then lost my voice as I stepped closer to the bed. Neither of us moved. I stalled a few feet from the bed. He lay on his side, facing out the window. The only movement, the only sound in the room, was our breathing. Suddenly, he shifted, rolling off the bed to stand and walk over to me. When he reached me, he took both of his hands and placed them on my cheeks. He held my gaze with his. "Do you love me?" he asked. "With all my heart," I replied with no hesitation. "Will you stay with me?" he asked. "Forever," I replied. That was all we said. He led me to the bed, where we made love all night and into the next morning. The prenup was never mentioned again. To be continued...