Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 15:58:44 PDT From: Purple Raven Subject: Friends and Lovers 8 Well Once again I'm at it.. so okay enjoy it... Raven.. Friends and Lovers Eight. Hey. The usual DISCALIMERS apply. Notes. There is nothing to really say.. I'm speeding it up a little.... There is Herto sex in this.. So if you don't like this then leave. The first three days in London were a whirlwind. The boys were rushing to interview to interview to appearances and everything else that came along with the job. Kevin finally had a moment to himself, Raven decided to go shopping with AJ for a present to send to Tera and Keik, as she missed them, and anyway it was tradition. She needed time alone away from him, as the more time that they spent together, the more she was fighting to not tell him the truth. She needed to re think the whole idea of not telling him and out of all the boys she trusted AJ the most. He would keep his word and not tell him until she was ready. Raven stopped AJ at a small coffee shop. "AJ can we talk?" "Sure" AJ pulled out a chair and waited for her to sit before he sat himself. "So?" "I'm pregnant." Raven said simply waiting for his response. "Does Kevin know?" "No." "Why not?" " I have breast cancer." "So?" "They can't operate while I'm pregnant and it will be too late after." "Radiation?" "To risky it could really hurt the baby." "The baby is more important?" "To me, it is something of both of us, if I don't make it." "If you took treatment.." "I might still not make it. The history of it in my mom's family is a detrimental factor." "So you decided before you told Kevin." "Yeah." "Are you going to tell him?" "I can't." "You have to." "AJ I can't I've tried and it never comes out." "You have to tell him," "Why? So he can morn me while I'm still living." "Raven he loves you, he has a right to know that you are having his baby." "I'll tell him. I will when I'm ready." "When will that be?" "I don't know. But until then you have to promise not to tell him either." "Raven.." "Promise me." "I promise. I hate this for the record." AJ replied, he couldn't believe that he had promised to not tell his friend, the person he owed for bringing him and the love of his life together. But he did and he couldn't go back on that. Kevin walked into Harrods, he wanted to buy her the perfect ring, he wanted to marry her. He knew he was ready, and he believed that she was to. He had the perfect ring picked out, "excuse me sir" a young woman walked up to him "can I help you?" "Yes I need to see a person about ordering an engagement ring" he smiled at her. "If you will follow me, I'll show you to, Mrs. Carmichael" Kevin walked with her up the stairs to a small sitting area. "I'll tell her you are here, Mr.?" "Richardson." "I'll tell her you are here, Mr. Richardson." "Thank you." Kevin replied, as he settled down into the chair, getting as comfortable as possible with out falling asleep. He was trying hard not to fall asleep as he spent most of his nights watching Raven, the worry in his gut wouldn't go away. "Mr. Richardson, how can I help you?" a voice broke him out of his thoughts. "I need an engagement ring." "I have a beautiful ring in my office." "I actually have a design that I want, it is a simple band, of white gold and a ruby in the center." "That may take some time, it is a custom ring sir." "I need it by Friday." "Mr. Richardson that is going to be very expensive." "Mrs. Carmichael, I am a member of a famous group, I can afford it." "I'll have it ready for you sir." "Send it and my bill to the Hilton, they will be expecting it." Kevin smiled at her, he didn't mean to be so rude but the ring was important to him, he wanted to purpose to Raven after the concert on Friday. All that he knew was that he loved her and that was all that mattered. "We will sir, thank you." "Thank you." Kevin replied as he stood and made his way back downstairs and out of the store to a waiting taxi. "To the Hilton." He told the driver. Brian watched as Nick swam laps in the pool, his sketchbook open on the lounge chair, partly covered with a towel. He wanted to look but he didn't want to invade Nick's privacy. This was is way to avoid being Nick Carter the Backstreet Boy. He could just be Nick the kid who could draw. "You can look" Nick sweet voice broke Brian out of his thoughts. "What?" "You can look" Nick repeated, pushing himself up onto the edge of the pool, waiting to see if Brian would look. "Nick it's you r private thing," Brian responded, as he walked closer so he could sit next to Nick. "Want to play B ball?" "Brian I just finished swimming." "So, come on, I'll shower with you after." "Bribes. Brian you really think that I play for a bribe?" "It's me though." "Yes it's you, and you are cute, but no sorry I'm tired." "Will you come and watch me?" Brian asked with his puppy dog eyes. "Yeah, who are you going to get?" "Mark, he already said that he would." "Oh picking on the bodyguards." "No, the hotel doesn't have a B ball court so we have to go to a rec center." "Oh so you get protection." "Max is coming to." "To sit with me?" "No to relieve Mark when he gets tired." Nick smiled looking at his boyfriend. "Let me go get changed and we can go." Nick pushed himself up to his feet, and reached a hand out to help Brian up. Brian took his hand, as it was one of the ways that they could touch each other in public that wouldn't seem different. The court was a five minute walk and Brian and Nick made Mark and Max walk it, why take a car when it was a nice day out. That was just wrong and this way they could feel normal, well as normal as possible. "Brian give them a break, you've been playing for three hours." Nick called out from the bleachers, his sketchbook open in his lap, five new pictures in it. All of them of Brian, him playing basket ball, him drinking water, him wiping his sweat with a towel. "Why, I'm having fun." "We have to meet everyone in a hour, you still have to shower." Nick replied gathering his art supplies. Mark and Max tried to hold in their laughter, they were so much like married couple, but yet not. "What it so funny?" Brian asked as he realized the two men were barely containing their laughter. "You two, you are like a married couple." "What, we are." Nick shot back. "What!" Max and Mark replied, their jaws on the floor from shock. "Guys, we'll talk back at the hotel." Brian replied, pushing them out the door shooting a look at Nick. "What we are." "We aren't married." "We are a couple." Nick replied, he really was enjoying this too much. Brian was trying very hard not to laugh, as he realized Nick was finally able to admit that they were a couple and that his feelings were returned. ****************** The group met in Howie and AJ's room for supper, they were all laughing as Brian told them how Mark and Max had taken them being a couple, Nick blushed as Brian told how Max covered the video camera in the elevator with is shirt so that they could kiss to prove that they were a couple. "It was so funny," Brian, laughed, he reached for Nick's hand and entwined his fingers with his. "Nick are you okay?" Raven asked as she noticed he was not smiling. "I'm fine." Nick replied smiling or rather fake smiling, Brian caught it and began to worry that it was his fault. "Brian I'm fine." Nick whispered squeezing his hand. He was worried himself; he planned to tell Brian that night about his past, all of it. That he wasn't a virgin, which his past included an ex that they all knew and hated, well hated was an extreme word. "Guys" AJ looked at all of them present, "yeah?" "We really need to sleep, we rehearse at nine in the morning." "Yeah we should all hit the sack," Kevin agreed, he wanted to spend more alone time with Raven anyway. "Okay, so night all." Nick pulled Brian out of the room, he wanted to tell him as soon as possible, he had already booked an extra room incase Brian took the truth badly. "That was bad" Howie smacked AJ's arm after they all left. "What? I missed you." AJ kissed him gently on the lips, he was lonely all day, even though he was with Raven he had missed his husband. "So what did you and Raven do all day?" "She bought a few presents for Tera and Keik" "So what did she get them?" "She bought Tera an Indian sarong, and Keik well she got Keik a pair of Brian's track pants." "She what?" "She kidnapped a pair of Brian's track pants." "Okay and how did she accomplish that feat?" "I helped her." AJ smiled at him, Howie shook his head, only AJ would help steal a pair of pants for a woman. "I wonder what happened to you at birth?" "What, I'm normal, everyone else is nuts." AJ replied, he loved when he got Howie wondering about him. "Howie I love you." AJ said as he stood and walked over to the bed. "Where are you going?" "Bed, coming or not?" AJ replied as he stripped down to his skin and climbed into bed, waiting for his husband to join him. Howie did not disappoint Raven sat on the bed, waiting as Kevin finished his shower, she wanted to hold him and caress him. She knew that soon, she wouldn't be able to be with him much longer. She was entering her fourth week, and as her family had a history of showing in the end of the first trimester, she only had two months left. 'Raven, are you okay?" "Kevin I'm fine, I missed you," Raven said, as she opened her arms, to him. She wanted to feel his hard body against hers. "Come join me." Kevin sat beside her; she reached her hand up and caressed the side of his face. "I love you." "I love you to." Kevin replied, as he leaned in to kiss her, gently, in the few days that they had been together, they had never made love. Their relationship was more about being friends than being lovers. "Kevin make love with me." Raven pressed closer to him, reaching to pull him down so that their lips were in closer contact, her tongue pressed against his mouth seeking entrance, she wanted to have the control. Kevin laid down on the bed pulling her with him, letting her control where this was going. Raven pressed against him, as she laid between his legs, seeking to find a position that was comfortable and yet erotic. They pressed to each other seeking to reach and touch each other. " I want you." Raven, pressed to him, kissing down his neck, pulling the robe open to reveal more and more bare skin as she kissed her way down his neck to tease and pinch his nipples. Kevin arched towards her; he loved the feelings that she was invoking in him, the feel of her against him, the warmth of her against him. The cool air brought him out of his thoughts as she moved away from him, flinging her own silk robe off. He reached for her, grasping her breasts in his hands as he sat up on the bed, settling her on his lap, he buried his head in her, she arched pressing closer to him. He licked and suckled her, he pressed closer to her, pulling her in towards him. She settled over him, pressing her warmth to him, he was her soul and all that she wanted was to be joined to him. "Kevin I need you in me." Raven pressed to him, kissing him deeply, rolling him over to cover her. Kevin pressed to her, kissing her licking down her neck suckling her, nursing first her left breast as she was more sensitive on that side of her body then the other. "Kevin I need you." Raven pleaded, her body craved him. "Soon." Kevin teased pulling away slightly, before licking a trail down to her bare neither region, he kissed her gently his lips bringing her closer to release. Raven arched to him grabbing his head and bringing him in closer to her pressing herself into his mouth. Sensing that she was ready and unable to hold back any longer. Kevin pressed close to her, she reached to grab him and bring him into her. "I love you." Kevin said as he pressed himself into her joining them in the act of love. Slowly they moved with each other pressing closer and closer to each other. Their actions moved faster and faster, Raven arched and screamed him name as she reached her climax. Kevin shuddered and quickly followed her. They held each other, Kevin rubbing his hands down her back, cuddling her to him. Raven for the first time felt loved and secure in the knowledge that if she told him everything he would understand. But yet she couldn't. They fell asleep in each other arms, Kevin holding her, but yet afraid that he would lose her. Nick climbed into bed beside Brian after he finished his cold shower. That had become a ritual, his cold showers; he knew that he had put the stall on the physical side of their relationship. "Brian can we talk?" "Sure." Brian rolled over to face him, so he could look into his eyes. Nick pushed himself up so that he was resting against the headboard. "Brian I need to tell you something that you won't like." Nick looked at his hands he looked anywhere but at Brian. "Nick there is nothing that you could tell me that would make me think any less of you." "Are you sure?" "Nick tell me." Brian reached out and grabbed his hand, tracing circles on the back of it. "Brian I'm not a virgin." Nick blurted out; the shock on Brian's face when Nick managed to look up was enough to send him fleeing into the bathroom. "Nick come and talk to me." Brian stood at the door, he tried to turn the door handle but Nick had locked it. "No." Nick said as he sobbed, he had lost him and that was painful, why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut. "Nick please I need to talk to you, I can't through a door." "No. Brian leave, go room with AJ and Howie, please just leave." "I won't leave you." "GO!" Nick yelled, his voice carrying to the room next door, waking AJ and Howie. "Alex, sweetie Nick is yelling." "At?" "Brian, he just said go." "Let's go and see. We don't want them waking Kevin and Raven she needs her rest." AJ said, flinging back the covers. Howie heard him but let it go, figuring that he was talking about her having to recuperate after her illness. "Guys" Howie called out, as they stood outside the door. "Hey come in." Brian opened the door, before returning to the bathroom door. "Nick come out please, AJ and Howie are here." "Tell them to leave. You can go with them." Nick replied. "Nickolas Gene Carter, get out here." Howie replied, as he stood behind Brian, his voice leaving no question that he was serious. "Fine." Nick knew better than to not listen to Howie when he used that tone of voice. "Now what happened?" AJ asked as Nick left the bathroom, sitting on the bed as staying as far away from Brian as possible. "Nothing" Nick replied. "Really, Nick you never cry and yet you have been." "Howie please don't" "Tell us." AJ said looking at him, his hands resting on Howie's shoulders. Nick looked at him, his face stony, he wasn't going to tell them. "Fine Brian?" AJ looked at the other man in the room. "AJ please let us deal with this." Brian said, moving closer to Nick, seeing him out of the corner of his eye, Nick moved standing he walked to AJ and Howie. 'He's scared." Howie whispered to AJ. "Nick talk to him." AJ pushed Nick towards Brian; he wanted to see if it was Brian that scared him. "No, he hates me." Nick reached back and clung to him. "Nick I don't hate you. I love you." Brian said calmly, his eyes trained to him. "How can you?" "It's you." "I'm a slut." "Nick you are not a slut." Brian said firmly, "Not being a virgin is not wrong." "It wasn't just one person," "So.' "Brian you have to be upset." "I'm not. Nick I love you and if you have more experience than so what." AJ and Howie left quietly, as they realized they were no longer needed. "Do you want to know?" "Know?" "Who they were." "No. It is your business." "I have to tell you." "Kay." "It was Chris, my first was Chris, and then I was with Joey." "From Nsync?" "Yeah." "Nick you were a child." "I know but I loved them, it was before I realized that I loved you." "I don't care." Brian pulled him into his arms, "it must be hard not being intimate with me." "I love you, I love lying beside you at night." "Nick I love you to, and that means all of you." "Brian can we go to sleep?" "No." "No?" "We need to make love first." "Need to? Brian we don't have to do anything at all." "I want to." "Want to what?" "Make love to you." "Brian I'm not ready yet." "Nick you have cold showers every night." "Brian I want it to be special, not a spur of the moment thing." Nick looked deep into his eyes trying to show him that he wasn't trying to tell him that they needed to go faster. Brian smiled, as he saw the pure love in his blue eyes. He pulled Nick to their bed, and crawled under the covers with him. His arms wrapped around him, his hands tracing a path downwards, slowly working under the waistband of his green sleep pants. "Brian you don't have to." "I want to." Brian replied as he grasped his lover, gently in his hand moving, as he liked to be touched. Nick moaned his voice catching in his throat. "Brian, ohhh god." Nick murmured, he grasped the sheets beneath him. Brian watched his face, as he moved his hand on him, feeling his hardness in his hand. "Nick?" "Yeah." Nick replied breathlessly. "Do you like this?" "Brian I love this. I love what you are doing to me." Nick replied pushing himself up to kiss Brian, pressing his lips to his lovers, Nick grasped his hand and helped him to move it on his straining hardness. Brian quickly grasped the differing movements; his moved his hand fast and hard, then slow and soft. The varying degrees of movement bringing Nick closer and closer to completion. Nick moved Brian's hand away from him, he never wanted to cum with him touching him that way. "Nick?" "Brian I love you, and if I'm going to cum, then so are you." "Nick I want to do this." "I know, but Brian I want us to be equal." "Nick letting me bring you pleasure is not a bad thing." "Brian." "No Nick let me say this. I'm new to this but that doesn't mean that I don't want to pleasure you." "Brian I love you, and that means that I want to be with you." "So let me." "If you let me." Nick agreed, Brian smiled and reached for him, leaving access to Nick, to touch him if he wanted. Nick flipped him back on the bed, as he licked down his chest. He touched the scar on his chest, with reverence, and love, making it a part of him. For once Brian wasn't ashamed of his own body, with Nick's touch he felt like he was handsome. "Nick, what are you doing?" Brian asked as Nick quickly pulled his lovers pants down grabbing his white boxer briefs with them, he swallowed his soft cock in one gulp. "You don't like this?" "Nick I'm not sure," "Brian if you are not ready tell me." "Nick can we take this slow?" "Kay." Nick nodded, as he reached over the edge of the bed to grab the boxers off the floor where they fell. "Nick I love you, I want to be with you." "No you want to be with me, but you don't want me to touch you." Nick said, turning on his back. Brian reached to touch him, and he pulled away. "Good night Brian." Nick said. "Nick I.." "Don't Brian." Nick said as he tried to hold the tears in. Brian watched him in the dim light he could see him shaking he could feel it. But he couldn't help him all that he could do was learn to respond to him. He loved him but he wasn't aroused by him. The end for now... Raven.. Comments welcome Purpleraven81@hotmail.com