Date: Sat, 17 Jun 2000 14:19:55 -0700
From: Brent_alittle_left@hotmail.com
Subject: Gene - Chapter Three

DISCLAIMER:  This story is complete fiction and is not
meant to imply anything about Nick Carter.  (we can all
wish though, can't we)  If you are offended by material
relating to the sexual relationship between two males or
are not of the correct age to read such material, please
do not continue.


GENE: CHAPTER THREE

*******************

I pulled Gene over to the bed and sat him down. I crawled onto
the bed behind him and started to massage his shoulders.

"Damn, your muscles are so tight."

"Mmmmmmmm that feels good. I usually get a massage after
the concert, but I wanted to get back here to see you so I
skipped it."

"You could've stayed and just called me to say you were
going to be late.  I would've understood."

"No way.  I wanted to get back here as soon as I could.
Man, you are good at this, did you take classes or something?"

"No, I've just had a lot of practice."

My thoughts went back to all the nights that I gave Mark his
massages.  It was like foreplay to him.  I would massage him,
he would get horny, then he would fuck me.  I would use that
to my advantage even when he wasn't in the mood, I could turn
him on with a massage.  I hope Laura gives lousy massages.

"Who was he KC?"

"Huh?"

"The one in your thoughts. You're always off in another world
with him.  Who is he?"

I stopped massaging him and tears started to form in my eyes.
He turned around to look at me and when he saw my face, he
pulled me into a hug.

"It's ok KC, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want."

I shook my head and pulled away from him.

"No, it's ok.  I want to tell you."

He nodded and readjusted himself on the bed so that he was leaning
back against a pillow.  I sat up next to him and looked down at my
hands folded in my lap.

"His name is Mark.  He was my friend for 2 years and my boyfriend
for a 8 months.  We lived together for that time and he left me
for his girlfriend who is now his wife.  They got married two
weeks ago."

"I'm sorry KC." he said as he took hold of my hand as squeezed it.

"It's ok. It's been 4 months now and this little vacation was my
way of getting over the heartache."

"Is it helping?"

"Not really, but meeting you has helped more than you'll ever know."

He smiled at me and a feeling of warmth took over my body.  He leaned
over and started to kiss me.  When our lips met, my mind went blank.
Mark was gone, my troubles were gone, it was just him and me.  As my
lips parted, his tongue slipped in and met mine.  I slid my tongue
against his as he started to run his hand around my chest.  I moaned
into the kiss as he pushed me back so I was laying on the bed with him
over me.  Our tongues continued to work against each other.  My hand
was rubbing all along his inner thigh area and he had slipped his hand
inside of my shirt.

He broke our kiss and I opened my eyes to gaze into his.

"So is this helping?"

I smiled and nodded as a tear rolled out of my eye. He laid down
next to me, not breaking eye contact. I lifted my head and he
slipped his arm under it. I rested my head onto his shoulder.

"Thanks."

"For what KC?"

"For being a gentleman, for knowing that was as far as I could go
tonight, for listening, for being you."

"Anytime."

We laid there in silence for a moment and then reality crept back
into my world.

"When are your leaving?"

"We have a concert tomorrow night and then leave the next morning
for LA."

"Will I ever see you again?"

"Of course KC, why wouldn't we see each other again?"

"Well, you're a busy person.  Famous and all and I'm just a guy that
lives in a small town in Oregon."

"This sucks.  I finally meet someone that I have deep feeling for
and he lives in Oregon."

My heart started to beat faster as my mind worked.

"Where do you spend most of your off time?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if I wanted to spend time with you anywhere in the US, where
would be the one place that you spend most of your off time."

"Well, our home base is in Orlando, Florida.  But my family lives
in New York.  Why?"

"Cause I need a change.  I need to get away. Away from everything
that reminds me of Mark."

"But don't you have family and friends?"

"Ok, we might as well get this over with.  This is my life, are you
ready for it?"

He nodded and took my hand into his.  I looked up at the ceiling
and started.

"Gene, I was kicked out of my house when I was 16.  My mother found
a few things I had written about a boy in high school that I was
attracted too.  Kinda like sexual scenarios.  I admitted that I
was gay and they kicked me out.  I lived with my grandmother until
I was 19.  She was a great woman and with her help, I was able to
finish high school and start college.  She passed away and left me
some money.  Not much, but enough to keep me off the streets."

"I'm sorry KC, that must have been rough on you."

It was, I loved her more than anyone in the world.  She was my rock,
the one that protected me from the world.  And I miss her deeply."

His hold on me tightened as I continued.

"With my grandmother gone, I had to quit college and get a job.  I
got an apartment, but needed a room mate to make it.  That's when
I met Mark.  As soon as I met him, we hit it off.  He moved in and
we became instant good friends.  The only friend that I had.  We
lived together, but didn't see much of each other. Between us working
and him spending time with his girlfriends, we were able to spend a
few hours every week going out and doing things together.  I was his
sounding board, listening to all his problems.  On my 21st birthday,
he took me out drinking.  After a few beers, he asked if I was gay.
He was just wondering cause he never saw me going out with anyone
and I never talked about women.  I feared that would be the end of
our friendship and he would move out.  When I nodded, he said that
it was cool and ordered us another beer.  When we got home, he left
to spend the night at his current girlfriend, Laura's house and I
went to bed.  I woke up a about two hour later when I felt someone
sitting on my bed.  It was Mark.  He had gotten into a fight with
Laura and went out and had a few more drinks.  He crawled on top of
me and looked me in the eyes.  Then he leaned down and kissed me.
I lost my viginity that night and gained a boyfriend.  He made up
with Laura a few days later, but we continued our new relationship
for 8 great months until one night when he told me that he was leaving
me to marry Laura.  He walked out of my life that night and my life
has been a complete nightmare since."

The tears started up again as he did his best to wipe them away as
they fell.

"So, you see.  I'm up for a change.  I have a few thousand saved up
and if you are interested in me as much as I am in you, I am willing
to risk it all to see if we have a future."

"Wow.  I mean, you would be willing to risk everything you have on
me.  God KC, that makes me feel so good inside.  I really would like
to see if there is enough between us to have a future.  Are you sure
you want to do this?"

I nodded.

"Just tell me where you spend most of your off time and I am there."

"What about your job?"

"Well, I'm a service tech for printer, copier fax machine company
that sells it's products all over the US.  I can get transferred to
any major city.  So, what city would you like me to be in?"

A smile grew across his face.

"Well."

"New York."

My heartbeat quickened.  The thought of moving to New York had me
speechless.

"KC, I have a place in New York City.  You can live there.  It's
were I stay when I am in the city."

The smile plastered on my face was so big it hurt.

He leaned over me as I laid down again.  He smiled at me and with
the backs of his fingers, he stroked my cheek.

"I'm so glad I met you KC. I've never felt this way about anyone."

He leaned down and kissed me.  Our lips worked against each other.
He broke the kiss and turned around and switched the light off.  He
gathered me in his arms and we fell asleep.


I awoke from the same nightmare again that night.  The clock read
5:12 am. I untangled myself from Gene's strong arms and got out of
bed. I look at his beautiful face, but the emotions in my heart were
at war.  Mark was still there no matter what I did to get rid of him.
I walked over to the dresser and grabbed my diskman and walked out
onto the balcony.  I sat down in the chair and put the headphones on.
My hand automatically forwarded the disk to track eight and the music
started.  The song that I had listened to for the past 4 month.  The
song I used to drown my sorrow.  I closed my eyes and covered them
with my arm.


Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyways
So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
Ever since you've been gone
oh no no
The lights go out the same
Oh no no
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
The lover after me

I hit the repeat button as I wiped the tears off my face.  I closed
my eyes and leaned back.  The sun was coming out and hitting my face.
I sat there listening to the song over and over for I don't know how
many times.  Crying until there was no more tears to cry.  In mid
song the music stopped.  I opened my eyes an Gene was kneeling next
to me.  His hand resting my diskman.  He got up and sat down next to
me and removed the headphones.  I looked up, deep into his eyes.  I
found only concern and love.  My body found tears somewhere within
and they started to flow out of my eyes.  He pulled me into a hug.
I sat there in his embrace for I don't know how long, in silence.

My body went limp and he release me.  I closed my eyes as he sat
back in the other chair.

"Run Gene or Nick or whatever, run.  Get as far away from me as
possible.  You don't need someone like me in your life.  I'm nothing
and you deserve much more.  I'll only drag you down. Run."

"Open your eyes KC.  If you are going to blow me off like that, you
are going to do it looking me in the eyes."

I shook my head.

"I can't."

"That is the only way that I'm going to run.  Open your eyes and
tell me to leave looking me in the eyes."

I opened my eyes and looked him directly in the eyes.

"I'm nothing.  I care about you too much to have your life ruined
by having me in it."

"You are not getting rid of me that easily.  You think that just by
feeling sorry for yourself and letting that asshole Mark walk all
over your heart that you can just dismiss what I feel, what I know
you feel.  No way KC."

"Why can't you understand.  I can't love you.  I can't."

"Tell me why you can't love me."

"Cause I still love Mark.  I always will."

"And."

"Don't you get it.  He will always be in my heart.  It will never
be 100% yours."

"You don't think I can win all of your heart away from him. Try me.
I promise you that he will be out of your heart forever.  Give me
that chance KC."

"Why can't you just be a jerk, someone I can hate.  Why do you have
to be such a great guy."

"I will win all of it from him KC, just wait and see."

He got up and kneeled beside my chair and took my hands into his.

"Will you give me that chance?"

He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it.

I looked down at him. Unsure how this guy got his foot inside the
door way into my heart.  I nodded.

"Ok, now that that's settled, you go into the bathroom and freshen
up.  You look like shit."

I smiled and snatched my hands out of his and gave him a backhand
across the head.

"Gee thanks."

"Ouch.  Damn, you're welcome. Now get up and go freshen up and I'll
meet you back in bed.  It's too early and I need some more sleep."

I got up and as I started to walk into the room, he grabbed my hand
and spun me back around.  He pulled me into a hug and then kissed me.

"Now you can go."

"Yes sir."

I walked into the bathroom and did my business and washed my face
with cold water.  When I walked out, Gene was on the bed listening
to my diskman.  He looked up and me and took the headphones off.

"The Lover After Me?"

I nodded and lowered my head.

"It's the only way I can cope."

He got up and walked by me, opening my diskman up as he went.  He
walked out onto the balcony and before I could get to him, he took
the disk in his hand to threw it like a frisbee out into the desert.

I ran past him, but all I could do is watch as the silver disk sailed
out among the desert brush.

"That's not coping, that's self pity."

He walked up to me and put his arms around my waist.

"Let's go back to bed now."

He pulled me back into the room and walked me to the bed.  He laid me
down and covered me with the blankets.  He walked around to the other
side of the bed and crawled in and gathered me into his arms.

"Thank you."

"For what KC?"

"For caring."

"Anyday."

"You know you didn't have to throw my Savage Garden CD out like that.
I do listen to other songs on there too you know.  I'm not made of
money like some people."

"I promise I will buy you another one.  Now how come you can listen
to them and not know anything about us?"

"It was a gift from an acquaintance.  He kept talking about a this
song, I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You, that he and his lover
felt was written just for them.  When I asked about it, he sent it
to me.  I listen to the whole thing and enjoyed it.  When Mark left
me, I the words to The Lover After Me popped into my head and have
listened to it since.  I know it sounds warped, but that has been
my life."

"Well, you don't need that song anymore."

He kissed my the back of my head and gave my body a light squeeze.

I closed my eyes, feeling comfort.  Feeling his strength.  Feeling
his love.  Feeling Gene.


**********

NOTES:  A thank you to all that have written to me concerning
the story.

A special THANK YOU goes out to Kyle, author of "Not Meant to Be"
for the idea for the song.  I know reading a BSB story is torture,
but it tells me a lot about the kind of person you are and I
appreciate it.

Please let me know what you think of the story. I would love to
hear from you.

	Brent_alittle_left@hotmail.com

Thanks for reading and until next time.

-Brent