Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 01:01:13 EDT
From: ZeroDQ@aol.com
Subject: Heaven-In-Your-Eyes 4

	See, told you that I would get a little better with updating.  Took
a little more time on this one, so it should be longer ;) Once again, here
are a list of recommendations that y'all should check out on this site:
"Intimate Stranger", "Josh and Just", "Changes", "Twist and Turns", "Open
Arms", "This I Promise You", "Because I Love You", "Justin's Secrets", and
"Any Path" :)

Legal Stuff: If you are reading this, then I hope it's because you are A)
Of the right age, and B) Are accepting of other relationship types (That's
one way to put it I guess :).  If either of these don't apply, I ask that
you don't continue reading.

Disclaimer: I don't mean to imply that any celebrity involved in the story
is gay in anyway.  (But I do have my own speculations about a few
. . . I'll keep those to myself :)


	     ~			~			~

	As they traveled towards the dressing room, Nick's thoughts drifted
to the incident outside and the way Kevin had been staring at him.  His
eyes had seemed to hold such contempt . . . maybe-even hatred for the young
teen.  It was a feeling that Nick just couldn't shake.  Maybe he was just
grasping at straws, imagining a conflict where there wasn't one.  He could
be making up for his sudden friendship with Brian by installing in Kevin a
perfect enemy.  'I think you've watched way too much crime television.
You're starting to sound like those court psychoanalysts idiots,' Nick
thought wryly.  His imagination was probably just running wild again,
making a big deal of nothing.  Nick sighed softly and glanced at Brian.
	His new best friend was blissfully unaware of the convictions Nick
had only moments ago applied to Kevin's actions.  His bright blue eyes
stared forward, directed at the door of the studio's dressing room.  Nick
opened his mouth to speak, but stopped while his mind struggled with
itself.  He couldn't think of anything intelligent to say and looking like
an idiot in front of Brian was the last thing he wanted.  But he needed
something to get his mind off of the subject of Kevin and the paranoia
involved with it.
	The escape from those thoughts was not offered by conversation,
however.  Instead, the AJ suddenly leaping from the dressing room door
managed to catch both of the teen's attention.  Stumbling briefly, AJ
finally managed to catch his balance, passing off his clumsiness as
something planned.  He fixed his sunglasses, still on despite their current
location, and nodded at Brian and Nick.  AJ was dressed entirely in black,
from his shoes to his baggy jeans and cut-off T-shirt.
	"All right, so who died?  AJ raised an eyebrow, not understanding
the joke behind Brian's comment.  Brian smirked and motioned at AJ's
clothing, finally bringing a look of recollection to the other teen's face.
	"Oh, I don't know," AJ smirked "But you'll be attending the same
funeral."  Howie emerged from the dressing room with a little less
dramatics.  He was also wearing full funeral garb, though of a more
business level quality then AJ's casual jeans and shirt.
	AJ grinned and stepped towards his friend, grabbing for the tie
that hung loosely around Howie's neck.  "You have a hot date with the
photographer D?"  Howie maneuvered around AJ's outstretched hand without
one word escaping from his lips.  As he stepped up to Nick and Brian, he
flashed a bright smile to Nick.  The game against AJ was obviously still
on.  Brian caught the smile and gave the two a questioning look, but
evidently decided to let his confusion go unquestioned for the moment.
	"Ahem!"  Kevin's unannounced presence made Nick jump, producing a
chorus of laughter amongst the rest of the guys.  "Do I have continuously
push you two along? What are you waiting for, we're already late!"  Kevin
turned to the red-cheeked Nick, a bright grin spread across his face.
"Heh, a little jumpy there Nicky?"  Nick blushed even more, feeling like an
idiot for his earlier thoughts.  Obviously he was going to have to work on
letting his imagination getting the better of him.
	Brian grabbed his hand and began pulling him in the direction of
the dressing room.  "Heh, let's go Nick, before Kevin manages to scare you
to death this time."  Nick blushed, feeling like a child as Brian continued
to pull him towards the open doors.  He didn't fight to remove his hand
though, savoring the touch.  As they entered the dressing room, Nick cast
one last look towards his other three bandmates.  Kevin's eyes has taken on
a dark appearance when the two's hands had connected or so Nick had
thought.  He sighed when he saw that Kevin looked rather normal, already
caught up in some conversation with Howie.  'Yeah, Nick, We paranoid much?'

	Nick groaned as her regarded himself in the mirror.  "I fell like a
vampire."
	"Well, at least black matches well with your hair."  Nick laughed
and turned to Brian, only to catch him in the midst of pulling on his
pants.  "Besides, your face is too much of a bright red for you to be
undead."  Nick realized that he was blushing and quickly turned away.  His
hand fumbled with his fly, as he attempted to finish getting his own pants
on.  It fought against him stubbornly, refusing to move anywhere with
Nick's sweaty fingers.  'Jeez Nick, why don't you make a complete fool of
yourself?'
	"Nick?"  His blue eyes flew up to the mirror and young teen jumped
for the second time that day.  While engaged in his mini-drama with the
zipper, he hadn't noticed Brian step up behind him.  "Did I say something
wrong?"  What was it, Nick wondered, about Brian's voice that made it so
easy to convey what he was thinking?  He finally decided that it was most
likely that Southern drawl.  Either way, Brian sounded upset, perhaps due
to Nick's hastiness in turning away before.
	"What are you talking about?"  He turned to Brian, his body
overwhelm with guilt over the possibility of upsetting the teen.
	Brian shrugged, studying him for any sign that might lead him to
better understanding why Nick had been upset.  "I don't know, you looked
away so fast, I thought maybe I'd said something that upset you."  'No,'
Nick thought with a sudden rush of enlightenment, 'That's because you were
getting dressed.'  Why the image had uncomforted him to the point of
embarrassment, however, was still mysterious to Nick's mind.
	He instead lied, once more to protect Brian's feelings.  "I was
just thinking we had to get dressed.  I mean, you saw how angry Kevin was
before when we held things up."  Nick was afraid to look at Brian, cause he
didn't want to see the disbelief in his eyes.
	"If you say so."  Though his words were hesitant, Brian seemed
unwilling to press on the issue.  He turned and walked out of the dressing
room.  Nick let out a long breath, only then realizing that he'd been
holding it in.

	"All right, Brian and Kevin, why don't you two step down?"  The
photographer motioned for the cousins to move away from the stage and they
willingly followed instructions.  The photo shoot had long ago surpassed
taxing and the entire group was feverishly praying for its end.  Hoping for
an early escape as well, AJ and Howie attempted to make a break for the
other side.  The flailing limbs and camera of the photographer himself
intercepted them.  They sighed and stepped back unto the stage with Nick.
"No, you three stay.  I want some shots of the originals."  Not seeing a
choice in the matter, they reluctantly agreed.  A few stifled groans were
the only meek protest that they voiced.
	"Well, at least some of us got free."
	Kevin nodded in agreement, "Yeah for once I don't even feel a hint
of jealousy for those three."  The two moved to a bench on the side of the
studio, allowing both to keep an eye on the shoot as it continued.  Brian's
gaze centered only on Nick, watching as the teen got into pose after pose
for the photographer. "BRIAN!"
	"What? Huh?"  Brian blinked and snapped his head in Kevin's
direction.  "Did you say something cuz?"
	"I said more then a little something.  Jeez Brian, what's up with
you today?"
	"What are you talking about?"  Brian had known Kevin long enough to
be able to pick up emotions in his cousin's voice.  Something was bothering
him, though the younger teen could only begin to fathom what.
	"I don't know, you've just been acting strange lately.  Well, to be
honest, you and Nick have been acting strange lately."
	Brian scratched the back of his head, completely oblivious to where
this conversation could possibly be heading.  So he'd made friends with
Nick, he didn't see what was so wrong with that.  "Ah don't know what your
talking about, Kevin."
	"Well, take for instance what happened outside.  You two were just
standing there, oblivious to the entire world around you.  I don't know,
but that's considered strange in my book."  Kevin was studying Brian's
voice, searching for some telltale sign into his cousin's thoughts.  What
that sign was, Brian had no idea.  He choose, instead, to focus on
attempting to come up with an explanation for what had happened outside.
	The other Backstreet Boy's arrival momentarily prevented him from
needing any reasoning behind his actions.  AJ grabbed Kevin and Brian's
hands, nearly throwing them from the bench as he pulled them to their feet.
His eyes gazed back nervously towards the photographer, who was currently
preoccupied with the handling of film.  "All right you two, let's go before
someone decides he didn't get enough candid shots the first time through."
	"Heh, we better go Kevin."  Brian attempted to mask the relief in
his voice, while his cousin gave a slight nod.  He led the group back
towards the dressing room to get changed.  Brian took up the rear, renewing
his pondering over what had been bothering Kevin . . . and now curious
about what had been developing within him.

	Instead of staying in the bus for yet another night, the boys were
able to convince their management to purchase some hotel rooms.  They were
still relatively unknown throughout Europe, so there wasn't even a need for
security.  It would just be a night to relax in settings there were a lot
larger then the group had been growing accustomed too.  They picked
roommates through the age-old practice of straws, with the fifth guy
sleeping stag for the night.  As if by divine intervention, AJ and Nick
ended up rooming together, saving AJ from a night of silence and Nick a
night of endless mental questioning.  After dropping off their stuff, the
band gathered in the hotel lobby.
	"Howie and I are going clubbing tonight, anyone else up to it?"
Nick was tempted to raise his hand, but decided against it.  It would
probably be best for him to play it off cool, least until he figured out
Kevin a little better.
	"Ah'm, staying in tonight, but y'all have a good time."  Brian
smiled at Nick, reassuring him that he wouldn't be the only one hotel bound
for the night.  Kevin watched Brian for a moment, perhaps stunned by his
decision, and then turned to AJ.  "What about you AJ?"  AJ placed a hand up
to his chin and seemed to be deep in thought.  Kevin rolled his eyes, but
patiently waited for the younger teen to answer.  AJ then shook his head,
nearly giving the entire band a collective heart attack.
	"Hey, I'm feeling a little tired tonight."  AJ faked a yawn, over
doing it with long, outstretched arms.  "In fact, I think I'm gonna head to
bed right now."  He turned with a smirk, eyes connecting with Brian and
Nick's.  AJ mouthed the words "my room" and then proceeded to the elevator.
Oblivious to the silent communication, Kevin glanced at Howie who just
shrugged.
	"Well, you two enjoy yourselves tonight."  Brian called out to the
club-destined Backstreet Boys.
	"Yeah, don't stay out to late."  Nick added, a small grin forming
on his face.
	"And promise to call me when you get there, you know how I worry."
Kevin's reply was a one-syllable finger and then he was gone for the night.
Barely containing their laughter, Brian and Nick bolted to the elevator.

	"Where did you get these?"  Brian pointed towards the bottles of
liquor in AJ's outstretched hands.
	"It's amazing what you can buy in Europe.  Chalk it up to a
reasonable drinking age, as compared to the States!"  Nick watched in awe
as the teen began pouring Vodka into cups for the three.  "I snuck out
while all of you were still unpacking.  I figured if we are gonna be a
band, we might as well start celebrating like one.  Course, eventually
we'll have some ladies to make these parties a little more fun."  AJ
grinned and handed the two their share of the drink.  Nick glanced at it
hesitantly, before finally raising the cup to his lips.  Despite the
initial bitter taste, he eventually began drinking the stuff like it was
water.  Brian showed a little more restraint, not taking up AJ on his offer
to re-fill his cup after the first was finished.
	By the time they'd finished the bottle, AJ and Nick were completely
full of energy.  The brilliant idea came up for the trio to take a late
night swim and while Brian tried to argue, he eventually gave in to their
demands.  He trailed along, afraid to leave the two alone in their current
state.
	The pool was empty when they reached it, the other patrons in the
hotel asleep by that time.  AJ ran forward and leapt in, not even taking
the time to remove his shoes.  Nick held back beside Brian, watching him
with a loopy grin.  "You coming in?"  His blues eyes struggled to focus on
the older teen, but the alcohol in his blood had other ideas.  Brian
sighed, realizing that he should have stopped Nick from drinking to excess.
	"I don't think so, Nicky."  'Someone has to be out here if you two
start to drown.'
	Nick pouted and took a small step towards the pool edge.  Then,
with a sudden burst of surprising speed, he latched unto Brian's shirt and
jumped into the water.  Before he had a chance to react, Brian found
himself soaked and bobbing beside the giggling teenager.  Nick offered a
devious grin, "I thought you said you weren't coming in."
	One look into the blonde's eyes, one glance at that smile, and
Brian felt his mood lighten.  He just couldn't stay angry with the kid,
though revenge was another emotion entirely.  He leapt forward and dunked
his bandmate, only to fall victim to a similar attack from AJ.

	AJ eventually called it an early night, leaving the other two to
swim for a few minutes more.  Brian decided to head back to his room and
Nick trailed after.  When they reached the door, Brian glanced back at his
young friend.  He was wet and shivering slightly, but still . . . there was
something beautiful about him.  Shaking the thought from his head, even
feeling slightly disgusted by it, Brian instead turned to Nick's well
being.  "Nick, you're sure you'll be able to sleep tonight?"  Brian thought
back to his late night encounter with Nick the day before.  Alcohol
wouldn't be any help if the kid developed another case of insomnia.
	"I think I'll be more then ready to."  Nick's speech had begun to
slur slightly and his breath reeked of vodka.  Brian shook his head,
feeling like a parent once more.
	"Nick your gonna have a pretty bad headache in the morning."  Brian
ran his hand through the blonde's wet hair, brushing it aside to better see
his face.  Nick just gazed at him absently, renewing Brian's fear that he
wouldn't be capable of making the trek to his own room.  "Maybe ah should
walk you to your room, Nick."
	Nick shook his head and his bottom lip pouted ever so slightly.
"Don't worry mother, I'm gonna be all right.  I have AJ to take care of
me."  Brian rolled his eyes at the thought.
	"That's what I was afraid of."  He smirked and took hold of his
room's doorknob.  "Well I guess this is goodnight then."  Nick grinned and
hurled himself at Brian, attempting to draw him into a hug.  Instead, his
young body, also impaired by intoxication, slammed into Brian and knocked
them to the ground.  The two ended up in a tangle of limbs on the hallway
floor.
	"Whoops." Nick smirked, blushing slightly as he gazed down at
Brian.  The older teen was pinned underneath him, struggling to move
himself.  Nick just lay on top, savoring being so close.  Eventually Brian
gave up and their eyes locked.
	"Are you all right?"  Brian's voice came out like a whisper and
Nick loved the feel of his breath brushing against his cheeks.  Hesitantly
he lowered his face, bringing his lips daringly closer to Brian's.  They
met, brushing together in an akward moment that soon gave way to a
passionate kiss.  Brian's hands slowly worked their way up from the floor,
gently brushing the back of Nick's head.
	Nick burst up, stumbling away from Brian with a horrified look
plastered to his face.  He wasn't drunk anymore or at least all symptoms of
alcohol had been momentarily purged from his system.
	"I'm sorry, just don't . . . I'm so sorry Brian."  He continued to
back away from Brian, watching as his friend just lay there silently.
Nick's imagination was running wild again, picturing the silence as a
testament to anger, maybe even hatred.  As Brian himself struggled to make
sense of the situation, Nick bolted down the hall.  He didn't stop until he
was in his own room and even then, not until he had slammed the bathroom
door shut behind him.  It locked and Nick slid to the ground, fighting to
hold back tears.
	Outside, a bewildered AJ rose from his own bed.  He'd been
attempting to catch some sleep when Nick had bolted into the room like
death itself was on his tail.  'He didn't even close the door', AJ sighed
with slight anger.  He stepped up to the bathroom door, "Nicky, you all
right?"
	Nick managed to control his shaking to squeeze out an answer.
"Yeah . . . just need to take a shower."  He didn't bother standing,
instead choosing to pull his body across the tiles.  Reaching up, he
started the water, though he himself did not take a step into the tub.
"I'm fine," he repeated, attempting to convince himself more then AJ.
	"If you say so."  AJ shrugged and stepped back into bed, hoping to
sleep well into the late hours of the next day.  Nick lay against the cold
porcelain tub, his mind racing once more.  That had been his first kiss.
It was with a guy, Brian, someone he had only recently met.  That he was
just beginning to know.
	A guy.  Nick's fingers traced his own lips as his mind relived the
hallway kiss.  He wasn't gay, he couldn't be.  Could he?  What else could
explain why he'd enjoyed that kiss . . . and why he wanted to experience it
again?

		 ~	~	~	~	~	~

There you go, my longest one yet ;) Hope y'all liked it (And you can tell
me if you did by emailing DQTorpedo@aol.com ;) Thanks :D