Date: Mon, 23 Oct 2000 01:43:56 EDT
From: BRok4382@aol.com
Subject: heaven-in-your-eyes-6

I think there are plenty of stories that people should always check out on
this site . . . including . . . "Switching places with Nick Carter",
"Intimate Stranger", "Josh and Just", "Changes", "Twist and Turns", "Open
Arms", "Devotion", "Little White Lies", "This I Promise You", "Porcelain",
"Dirty Mind Games", "Because I Love You", "Justin's Secrets", and "Any
Path" :) . . . These are just a few (And I know I am forgetting some great
stories out there . . .); Heh, if you ask my opinion . . . the best ones
are the stories that don't rush the sex ;)

Legal Stuff: If you are reading this, then I hope it's because you are A)
Of the right age, and B) Are accepting of other relationship types (That's
one way to put it I guess :). If either of these don't apply, I ask that
you don't continue reading.

Disclaimer: I don't mean to imply that any celebrity involved in the story
is gay in anyway. (But I do have my own speculations about a few . . . I'll
keep those to myself :)

	Nick stepped out of the car and breathed in the air around him.
The ride had been silent, much like the first, but the atmosphere had been
different.  Almost a polar opposite, he thought with a smile.  There was no
fear, no anxiety and no gut wrenching nerves.  How could there be?  He'd
discovered the truth about himself . . . and he'd done so as a result of a
kiss with a guy not much older then himself.  Who was going through the
same discovery, who was going to deal with the same problems.
	Brian emerged from the behind the wheel of Kevin's rental and Nick
couldn't help but watch his every move.  A goofy grin was plastered on his
face and he was twirling the keys around on his finger.  He looked so
sweet, and at the same time amusing, and Nick couldn't help but release a
small fit of laughter.  He caught himself, but it was too late.
	"What?"  Brian raised an eyebrow towards the blonde, obviously
curious to what was so funny.
	"Nothing . . . you just looked . . ." Nick trailed, thinking of an
appropriate term that didn't have goofy or sexy in its definition.  Sexy
. . . where had that come from?
	"I looked like what?"  Brian was smiling again, but this time it
seemed daring.  Even seductive . . . or perhaps that's how Nick was just
picturing it.  Either way, the older teen was making his way over to Nick,
refusing to break eye contact.  The smile never fading from his face.
"Well?"  He was so close now, his voice barely above a whisper.  Nick felt
his warm breath brush against his skin and his concentration slipped away.
Any vocabulary word he ever learned was expelled from his mind and
instincts simply took over.  He bit down on his bottom lip and began
leaning forward.
	"There you are!"  Caught off guard, Nick lost his balance and
tumbled into Brian's arms.  The older teen lucking managed to keep him from
falling, but the two were frozen to the spot.  The other three band members
were marching towards them, a red-faced Kevin in the lead.  Brian gulped
and Nick quickly got to his feet, blushing slightly at how stupid he'd
probably looked in Brian's arms.
	"Uh . . . hey cousin . . .," Brian's voice was timid and once again
Nick could pick up traces of fear.  Kevin stopped in front of the two and
simply stuck out his hand, not yet saying any words.  Brian slowly placed
the keys inside the outstretched palm, then quickly retracted his hand.  "I
was . . . just showing Nick the countryside."
	"Well wasn't that nice of you, considering you don't even have a
license yet!  What were you two thinking?  What if you'd been pulled over?
Wouldn't that be a great way to start the band off, with two kids getting
arrested? And do you even know what time it is?"  Kevin glared back and
forth between the two, obviously implying some important date that they
were intended to remember.  As Nick attempted to wrack his brain, Brian's
face flashed with clarity.
	"We have that meeting today . . . with Mr. Pearlman."
	"Exactly . . . about our record contracts."  Nick eyes widened and
fear spread over him.  They really needed to make that meeting, as the
group was supposed to talk about the final touches on their album before it
was finally released.  If all their hard work was to go to waste now
. . . he didn't know what he'd do.  This was his dream . . . he loved
singing . . . and they'd spent so many months working on their music.  He'd
hate to see that time wasted . . . all for one stupid kiss.  Almost
immediately Nick regretted the last thought.  Would it really be a waste?
	"Crap . . . we're not late yet, are we?"  Brian had once again
stepped in for the silent Nick, asking the question the young blonde had
completely forgotten during his tirade of thoughts.
	"No, your lucky we managed to find you in time!"  Kevin took a
glance at his watch, "We have about forty minutes to get to the studio
. . . the bus is going to have to floor it there."  He sighed and glared at
the two.  "I already took the liberty of packing your stuff, it's waiting
in the lobby.  We've wasted enough time, lets' get out of here."
	With the safety of their record contract in the back of his mind,
Nick allowed himself a small smile.  He began to trail after the already
departing Howie and AJ, expecting Brian and Kevin to do the same.  When
they didn't immediately, he took a small glance behind him and saw Kevin
had reached out to grab Brian's arm.  Though the eldest Backstreet member
whispered to his cousin, Nick managed to make out most of what he said by
his lips.  "We'll talk later."


	As dusk fell over the European countryside, the boys were gathered
once again on their tour bus.  Nick was back in his usual seat, his head
pressed against the window and his eyes taking in the countryside.  The
images continued to pass by him, but he wasn't really paying them any heed.
	Though the meeting went over somewhat smoothly, Nick hadn't felt
that comfortable.  Lou Pearlman was kind, but there was something about the
man that rubbed him wrong.  Something that made Nick doubt that he could
possibly ever fully trust him.  Which was odd, considering he'd been
nothing but honest to the boys from the start.  Even when it came to money,
which had scared Nick's parents at first.  They wanted to make sure that
he'd be getting a fair share of the record's products.  Not that Nick
really cared about the economic aspects of the business, he really just
wanted to sing.
	But Pearlman hadn't been the only one making Nick feel strange for
the duration of the three hour meeting.  Every time he'd risked a glance in
Kevin's directions, he could have sworn that he was being glared at.  Nick
had noticed that look before, outside the photographer's studio the day
before.  He'd just brushed it off as an over active imagination, but he was
beginning to really doubt that was the truth.
	"Nick, are you all right buddy?"  He glanced away from the window
to find AJ sitting beside him.  He really need to stop being so preoccupied
with his thoughts . . . he could only imagine how weird it looked when he
spaced out and went silent on the guys.
	"Yeah . . . uh just feeling a lil' strange."  Nick gave AJ a fake
smile, having absolutely no emotion behind it.
	"Homesick?"
	"Yeah."  Nick hated lying, especially when AJ was really just
trying to be a friend.  But what else could he say?  That he was gay, had
kissed Brian, and now he was afraid that Brian's cousin hated him?  He
didn't know AJ that well yet, didn't know how he felt about . . . well
about *things*.  For that matter, Nick was really just beginning to
understand his own take on his new found sexuality.  He didn't need to be
worrying about what anyone else thought.  "I guess it's just weird to get
used to not only being away from home, but also being separated by a whole
ocean."
	AJ smirked and leapt at Nick, startling the teen.  Before he could
react in defense, AJ had him in a headlock and was already applying a few
nookies.  "Heh, don't worry Nicky, things are going to get better.  Sides,
soon you'll have so many girls after you, home will be the least of your
worries."
	As Nick pulled away from AJ, he pretended to smile at the last
comment.  I'd probably be better off leaving the girls for you and Howie.
"Yeah can't wait . . ."
	"You sure nothing else is bothering you Nicky?"  Besides you
calling me that stupid name, nothing that I can talk to you about AJ.  Nick
risked once glance into AJ's eyes and realized that they shone with
sincerity.  He really did want to help him, make sure that he was feeling
all right.  Like they were . . . friends.
	"I was just . . . wondering about Brian."  Almost immediately Nick
realized that he wasn't ready, wasn't ready to talk about his feelings yet.
Surely wasn't ready to possibly reveal anything that Brian was attempting
to hide.  There'd be other times . . . but Nick was sure this was
definitely not it.  "Uh, Brian and Kevin, I haven't seen them since we got
on the bus.
	"I think Kevin said something about needing to talk to Brian
privately.  I have no idea `bout what.  Maybe it had something to do with
that little stunt you pulled this morning with Kevin's rental."  AJ had one
of his devilish smirks on and he playfully landed a punch on Nick's
shoulder.
	Let's hope that's all they're talking about . . .