Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 10:58:23 -0800 (PST) From: Red Subject: Hide In Plain Sight: Chapter 15 - Suspicions MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!!! Title: Hide In Plain Sight 15/? Author: Red (redfirewitch@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: JC is on loan to Earth from the planet Venus. Dedication: To Rdr! I SWEAR you would do a much better job if you were writing this!!! I love the way you think!!! ********************** Chapter 15: Suspicions ********************** JC lay in bed, unable to sleep. His mind was too busy to shut down. It always was at night especially since this whole mess with Philip started. Usually he would be glad to stay awake because it kept the nightmares at bay. But tonight he wanted to sleep badly. Just so he could stop thinking about Justin and...the kiss. The kiss. JC sighed and shook his head. It had tasted so good. So good. Justin's lips had been soft and warm. There had been an hint of desperation and lust. It had been as good as he had imagined but it would have been even better if Justin hadn't kissed him out of pity. "Fuck!" JC swore softly and turned over in the bed, pressing his face into the pillow. He hated Justin for what he had done. Right. Hate Justin. Like that was ever possible. He couldn't even stop loving Justin. How the hell was he going to get to hate? No he didn't hate Justin. He was disillusioned with Justin. For kissing him. For making him feel worse than ever despite his good intentions. Why did he do it? What if it wasn't pity? What if...JC sat up straight and threw the pillow across the room. "SHUT UP!" JC cringed as he realized that he had yelled. Out loud. It wasn't exactly very loud but in the silence of the night every sound was amplified. He waited, listening carefully for a sign that anyone had been woken up by it. Hearing no movement, he laid back on the bed. "Stop thinking about it. Forget it. It's time to straighten out your screwed up life." JC said softly to himself. He thought back to what Justin had said at dinner. Elli Fields. A detective hired by Johnny to...what? Find Phillip? Was that even possible? What could he do? Trace the phone call? Trace the letters? The letter. JC walked over to his dresser and pulled out the top drawer. He then felt beneath it. His hand touched the key that he had taped under the drawer. He pulled it out and walked over to his locked desk. Unlocking the drawer, he reached in for a small box. He took it and sat on the bed. Taking a deep breath, he opened the box. JC paused for a while and pulled out the letter that Fields wanted to see. It was lying atop the other four letters addressed to him. The only difference between them was that the first letter was crumbled. Other than that, all the letters were same as they all the letters threatened his life. JC took out the first letter and closed the box. Elli Fields need only know about the first and, to everyone's knowledge, the only letter. ** Elli Fields had seen it all. In his 20 years as a cop and 10 years as a private detective, he had heard and seen every shocking thing there was to the human behavior. Desperation, Anger, Passion, Lust, Delirium. All of which had fueled crimes and moments of stupidity. But one thing he would never ever understand was what teenage girls saw in these five young men sitting in front of him, that was worth screaming and crying and fainting about. Upon getting the call from Johnny Wright, whom he had worked with before in order to track down Britney Spears' stalker, Elli had began reviewing the history of the band. Every tape had consisted of young girls acting like crazed lunatics. He thanked god that his own daughter was well past that age. Although, she did go through a brief period of New Kids On The Block frenzy. He had learned all he could about the five boys, focusing on Joshua Scott Chasez aka JC. Born in Maryland, with a good family background. Worked on a kids show until he was 17. Then Nsync. But of course the reason he was here was to fill in the blanks in the PR crap. The blanks that actually only Joshua Scott Chasez has known until a few days ago. "So...are you like Dick Tracy?" Elli looked up from his thoughts. Chris Kirkpatrick. Johnny had warned him about the kooky one. "For your friend's sake and your band's sake, I hope not, son." Elli answered, hoping that the guy would get the hint that he didn't have a sense of humor. Chris shut up and sat down. Elli thought he saw a sense of relief in his face. As if he was glad that he didn't have to be funny. As if it was a mask he didn't want to wear at that time. "Let's get down to the business at hand. Before we start I have to warn you. I'm here to help you. Johnny pays me well to keep my mouth shut and get the job done. Whatever you tell me, won't get pass this room. You have to tell me the truth. If you lie and I find out later that you lied, I WILL kick your asses personally. I will NOT be made a fool off. Understood?" All five heads nodded. They didn't want to let a stranger into their private lives but they didn't have choice anymore. Not when lives were at risk. "If there is something that you think I need to know but you don't want anyone, including any of your friends here to find out, you tell me in private." "We don't have any secrets between us. At least not anymore." Joey said confidently. Justin and JC exchanged a look which Elli promptly caught. "Are you sure?" Elli asked, looking at Justin pointedly. Justin knew it was time to come clean. He just hoped that his friends wouldn't hate him for lying to them all this while. "I have something to tell you guys." Justin said, standing up. Joey, Lance and Chris looked at him in surprise. "What is it, J?" Lance asked. Justin took a deep breath. "I'm also gay. " "What!" Joey exclaimed. "I'm gay. I also have a boyfriend. His name is Matt and I've known him for six months." Justin said quickly. Lance, Joey and Chris stared at him in shock. "Six months?" Chris asked. "JC, did you..." Lance began to say. "I knew. He told me six months ago." JC admitted. "Oh! So YOU knew! That's good. As long as JC knows, right, Justin?" Joey said, sarcastically. "Joey, come on. Coming out isn't an easy thing. Justin just trusted JC more." Chris said. Justin frowned. "I trust you guys too." "Six months! Way to show the trust, guys! But then again, JC kept his secret for six years, so I guess you were way better huh, Justin?" Joey said looking pissed off. "All right! Calm down!" Lance said. He didn't raise his voice but the message was clear. "Joey, I know you are hurt by this. I am too and Chris probably is too. But that doesn't give us a right to presume we know what's they are going through. They did what they thought was best. We may not like it but we have to respect their decision instead of acting like jerks." Joey looked down, not ready to let go of his anger but also seeing the sense in what Lance said. There was silence in the room. "JC isn't to blame. I told him not to tell you guys. I wasn't ready." Justin spoke up softly. "I didn't even tell my mom until last night." This time JC also looked at Justin in shock. He was surprised that Justin told his mom. And last night? "Lynn knows? Who else?" Chris asked. "Only JC, mom, you guys, of course Matt and now I guess Mr. Fields." Justin said, taking a seat. "Johnny's going to shit bricks when he hears this." Lance said softy. Elli Fields decided to step in again. "Ok, now that everyone knows about Justin, is there anything else?" "Yeah." All eyes turned to JC. Elli sighed inwardly and sat down again. "Oh god. Now what! Don't tell me you're married with children!" Joey exclaimed, earning himself a slap behind his head from Chris. "No. I'm not married and I don't have children. I...I...it's about Justin and me." JC said, causing Justin to stand up abruptly. "JC, you don't have to..." "No Justin." Their eyes met for the first time that day. "No more secrets." JC said Lance looked from Justin to JC. "You guys...are together?" "No. I'm in love with Justin but it's a one way thing." JC said. "Oh shit." Chris and Joey said at the same time. Elli didn't even blink but in his mind he cursed the fact that his job had just gotten a lot more complex. He felt like he was intruding but he had to know this stuff if he was going to help these guys. He just kept silent and let the whole thing play out. "So erm...are you guys ok?" Lance asked, unsure of what to say. Justin looked at JC wondering the same thing. "We are working things out. But that isn't important now." JC said, indifferently. "What matters is the band. I don't want that bastard to hurt anyone else. I just want him caught." Lance, Joey and Chris knew JC too well to think that he truly was dealing with this as well as he was letting on. If the haunted look in JC's eyes didn't tell them how much JC was hurting, the pained look in Justin's eyes spoke volumes. But they realized that both of them had to deal with this on their own and that there was nothing they could do. For now. "We'll catch that bastard, JC." Joey said, determinedly. "What can we do, Mr. Fields?" Lance asked. Elli saw the guys' eagerness to do something. Anything. As long as it rid them off the feeling of helplessness. Unfortunately, he did his best work without any interference. And the sooner they learned that, the better. "Right now, nothing much. JC's the only one who can tell me anything at this point. But I will have to talk to all of you. Let's start from the beginning JC. Now I know about how you met this Phillip. The past is pretty much covered. I've contacted the Maryland Police Department about the files concerning the case. They will send it to me by tonight. What I need to know is the recent past. How do you know it's the very Phillip from your past?" "I saw him. At our concert. He was in the crowd." "The concert arena is dark." Elli stated. "It was only for a moment. The light fell on him. I saw him." "You're sure." Elli asked. JC squinted slightly. "Six years. For six years, I put that bastard out of my mind. Why would I suddenly think about him now?" "Wait, this is the concert in LA right? When you forgot your line?" Chris asked. "Yeah. That was when JC first told me that he killed Phillip." Justin said. "Then you must have seen him." Joey said. He looked at Elli. "Once on stage, JC forgets the rest of the world. If anything can affect him the way it did that night, then he must have seen Phillip." Elli nodded. "Fine. You saw him. Or at least you saw someone who looked like him." JC stood up. "It WAS him!" Elli leaned back in his seat. "Sit down, JC." JC glared at Elli but sat down. "I'm not going to presume anything. I would advice that you don't too. That's the only way that you're going to get through this alive. Suspect everything and everyone. Now, it's my job to be suspicious of everything. Only then will I cover all the bases. If I overlook even one possibility, that's the difference between life and death. And since it might as well be the difference between my life and my death, I intend to be very suspicious. Understood?" JC looked away from the detective's unwavering gaze and nodded. "I'm sorry." "It's ok. Now, when was the next time you came in contact with him?" "I got a letter. Our last concert. When I came back to my room, I saw that the letter had been slipped under the door. I thought it was from a fan so I didn't open it. The next morning, I got a phone call. It was him." "How do you know?" "I recognized his voice. And he...he called me Joshy boy. That's what he called me six years ago." "No one calls you Joshy boy? Not even your friends?" "No one who knew about the things that he told me over the phone." JC insisted. Elli who was taking notes paused for a while. "Did you identify him as Phillip before he said his name?" JC thought hard. "I don't know. I don't think so. But I...I was in shock. I said that he should be dead." "That was your first mistake. If it was an imposter, he could have been clued in my that." JC became agitated. "No! He knew that I had shot him! He knew that I saw him in the concert! The bastard knew what he did to Liam! He knew that he tried to rape me! He knew everything! IT WAS HIM!" Justin and Lance tried to calm JC down. "It's ok, Josh. We believe you." JC grabbed Justin's arm. "Justin, I swear! It was him! It was Phillip! I know his voice! I know his tone! It was him!" Elli saw that the young man was on the verge of losing it. "All right, JC. It's ok. I believe you." JC covered his eyes and started to tremble. He didn't know why the thought that he could be wrong scared him so much. He realized that he sounded like a lunatic! But no! He was right. It was Phillip. No one else knew what happened that day, six years ago except Phillip, him and ...Liam. But Liam was dead. Liam was dead and buried. He had seen Liam being lowered into the grave with his own eyes. Liam was dead. Phillip killed him. Phillip was alive. Liam dead. Phillip alive. No. "JC!" JC was startled out of his thoughts by Justin's voice. He looked up. "Mr. Fields wants to see the letter." Justin said, softly. "It's upstairs." JC answered in a daze. "Where? I'll get it." Chris volunteered. "No. I'll get it." JC said and stood up. Almost trance-like in his movements, he headed up the stairs. Once he was out of sight, Elli shook his head. "He isn't very stable right now. I don't know how much of his words I can rely on." Justin glared at Elli. "He's been through a fucking lot! Give him a break!" "He's the only person who can attest to the existence of Phillip. So far, we have a letter. One letter. Two phone calls and an apparent sighting. That's the only prove that Phillip is still alive! Not exactly rock solid evidence! Especially since it comes from a guy who has been sexually assaulted and traumatized by the death of his lover and not to mention having to shoot and kill another man. A guy who for six years pasted on a smile and has been living a double life. Tell me how the hell am I supposed to rely on him!" Elli said. Joey, Chris and Lance remained in shocked silent. For the first time they were considering the fact that maybe, just maybe, JC was imagining the whole thing. That maybe JC was mentally disturbed. Justin saw the looks on his bandmates' faces. He knew that they were beginning to believe that too. The very thing that Matt has said. The very thing that Justin himself had considered. But no! Josh wasn't crazy! "How about that second phone call? My mom answered that call. Is she crazy too, Mr. Fields?" Justin asked sarcastically. "I don't know. But I'll be checking up on that call." Elli said. "This is ridiculous! You are supposed to be helping us track down Phillip." "I am helping you. I'm helping you find out if there really is a threat. I'm not about to start a manhunt for some guy who was certified dead just based on JC's words." Justin snorted derisively and shook his head. "But I'm also not going to presume that JC is making this up. I will still be checking out on the possibility that Phillip is alive or maybe someone is using what they know about him to mess with JC's head." Justin turned to face Elli. "Someone? You think that's possible?" "Maybe, but right now. I'm more inclined to believe..." "Yeah yeah! I know! You want to believe that JC is crazy but you WILL look into the other possibilities." Elli nodded. "That's why I need to know who else knows about JC's past. For now I'm counting you four, Justin's mom...would she have told anyone else?" "No." Justin said. "Do your bodyguards know?" "No." Lance replied. "So only you guys, Justin's mom, JC, Johnny and of course Phillip know about what happened." "And Liam, But he's dead." Joey added. "I'll check into that." Seeing everyone's incredulous expression, Elli added, "Always cover all the bases." "There's one more person who knows." Justin said softly. "Who?" Chris asked before Elli could. "Matt." ** JC stood frozen near the top of the stairs, with the letter clutched in his hand. He could hear every word that was being said. Their suspicions that he was making everything up. That he was crazy. //Not exactly rock solid evidence! Especially since it comes from a guy who has been sexually assaulted and traumatized by the death of his lover and not to mention having to shoot and kill another man. A guy who for six years pasted on a smile and has been living a double life.// 'A fraud. A pathetic loser.' Maybe Phillip was right. He was out of control. Maybe Elli was right. He was unstable. But Justin believed him! Then he heard that Justin had told Matt about his past. Correction. About his unstable past. About crazy JC's unstable past. And why not? JC was crazy. Why did Justin have to keep a crazy man's secrets? Especially from the guy he loved? JC slowly sank down to sit on the floor and rested his head on the banister, just out of sight from the people below. It never stopped. The pain never stopped. What if he really was crazy? Maybe he was imagining Phillip but to him it was real? How could he stop this? 'Liam dead. Phillip alive. Liam dead. Phillip alive. Liam dead. JC alive. JC alive.' Of course. There was only one way. The only way to make it all stop. Make it ALL stop. JC stood up. He dropped the letter on the floor and headed into his room. He searched for the key that was taped under the drawer again. Finding it, he opened the desk drawer and took out the box. Beneath the letters was the metallic gleam of the gun he had bought days ago. He slowly picked it up and smiled. 'Make it all stop.' ** "WHAT!" Joey exclaimed. "Justin! You told your boyfriend what JC told you? Does JC know that?" "I had to. He...he...I know I shouldn't have but I had to. JC doesn't know." Justin said. Lance shook his head. "Well, he's going to find out. You better tell him." Justin nodded. "Ok, so now Matt knows. What's his full name?" Elli asked, writing it down. "Why?" Justin asked. "Cover all the bases. Where did you meet him?" "His name is Matt Vance. I met him when we were making our video for Bye Bye Bye. He was a freelance reporter for MTV's Making the Video. He's now working for EW." "Aw man! A reporter?!" Joey exclaimed. " This just gets better all the time!" Justin glared at Joey. Lance quickly stepped in. "Joey, shut up before you say something you regret!" Joey just threw his hands up in the air and turned away. "Hey, shouldn't JC be down by now?" Chris said. "I'll go get him." Justin said. "No. I need to ask you more questions." Elli said. "I'll go." Chris said and headed up the stairs. "So Justin, you told Matt everything about JC's past?" Elli asked. "Yes." "And what did he say?" Justin laughed harshly. "Well, you might be happy to know that he came to the same conclusion as you. He said that JC was making this up." Elli frowned. "And why would he say that?" Justin looked uncomfortable. "He said that JC was making Phillip up so that I would pity him, be closer to him." "He knew that JC was in love with you?" Joey asked, in surprise. "Yeah." Justin admitted. "So he doesn't buy JC's claims." Elli asked. "Would you stop making JC sound like...." "GUYS!!!" Chris yelled as he ran down the stairs. "JC's gone! He's not upstairs!" Justin's first thoughts were 'not again'! They heard the sound of someone banging on the door and heard one of the security guys' voice. Joey ran to open the door. Dawson, one of the guards, looked frazzled as he entered. "What the hell is going on?! JC just drove away in his jeep! We tried to stop him but he almost ran us over!" "What? Why?" Justin yelled. He didn't understand what could have triggered off JC to act this way. Unless... "I found the letter near the top of the stairs." Chris said, handing it to Elli. "Oh no! JC must have heard..." Lance trailed. Justin froze for a moment and suddenly took off for JC's room. The rest followed him. On reaching the room, they saw the upturned drawer and the box. Justin's eyes fell on an empty bullet cartridge. "No! Oh god no!" Justin prayed. "What?!" Joey asked. "He took the gun! JC took the gun!" "Gun?! Where the fuck did JC get the gun from?!" Joey yelled. "That night he told me about Liam and Phillip. He bought it to protect himself." Justin said, in a daze. "Where could he be going with it? Is he going to look for Phillip?" Chris asked. "But where would he know to find him?!!" Lance asked. Elli who had been looking at the letters stood up. "From these." The detective said, holding up the four letters that JC had hidden from them. ** tbc... Note: I promise that this is the last time JC will run out! Hehe!