Date: Sat, 9 Sep 2000 02:12:46 EDT
From: Chris13731@aol.com
Subject: I Need Love: Chapter 6 (celebrity, boy band)

Well, I'm back for at least one more round, and I bet all of you out there
are just THRILLED!! No really, if you're still reading this story, then I'm
so grateful. I PROMISE there WILL be sex eventually, you just have to
wait. It'll be worth it, I swear. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. If
you're 18 or homosexual content offends you, leave. No matter how much I
wish I did, I don't know *NSYNC or their sexual preferences. On to the
story..........


I Need Love: Chapter VI


The walk down to the limo out front was very similar to a military march. A
very solemn JC led, silently followed by the rest of us, not wanting to
upset him. They all kinda seemed afraid of crossing his path. I made mental
note to try not to piss him off anymore. As if I ever WANTED to piss him
off in the first place.

We went out the back entrance of the hotel to avoid fans to where the limo
was waiting. JC opened the door, and as the perfect gentlemen that he was,
bad mood or not, stood aside to let everyone else in. I tried to make eye
contact with him before I climbed in, but he looked a different way.

I sat down by Lance on one side of the limo, making sure there would be
enough space for JC on the other side of me. As everyone else got in, JC
scanned the interior from the doorway. Glancing over the spot next to me,
he turned to Lance and told him to scoot over. Lance started to say
something and pointed in the direction of the empty spot, but ended his
protests and moved after seeing the glare on JC's face. Lance just gave me
a sympathetic look.

The ride to the arena was most uncomfortable. Joey and Chris kept looking
from JC to me trying to figure out what was going on. Lance and Justin
looked out the window ignoring the whole situation. JC closed his eyes and
leaned back, putting on a headset and listening to music. What a stupid,
stupid mess to get myself into. I don't care WHAT Lance or Justin says, I
had to have done something to make him so upset with me. It's like it's
painful for him to be around me.

Once at the arena, I found there really wasn't much for me to do. Lance
asked me to get him a cookie during a break after the guys' warm-ups. And
you know how the old saying goes...... If you give a Lance a cookie, he'll
ask for a glass of milk. So I also had to search half-way across the damn
arena for a glass of milk. As I finally walked up to him with his cursed
beverage, he was spewing out tons of apologies about making me look so hard
for his milk. He was genuinely sorry for making me search high and low for
it. I kept on telling him it was my job, I might as well work hard for the
pay. He insisted that I sit down and not do anything for a while,
recommending I listen to some music on one of the guys' CD players sitting
next to the chair.

I picked up the one closest to me and opened it to see what was inside. It
was a recorded CD. Curious, I put the headphones on and pressed play. The
music washed over me, and I fell into a trance as the most romantic song in
the world (IMHO) started.

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

My vision became a little blurry as the words and music got to me. This
song perfectly described how I felt for people when I fell in love with
them. Right it this time, I caught sight of JC scribbling in his notebook a
ways away from me. Damn he was beautiful.

Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

JC turned his head up and locked eyes with me. I wanted to turn away, I
didn't want him to see my tears, but I just couldn't turn away from those
wonderful blue eyes. The weird thing was, he didn't turn away either. He
just kept gazing at me from across the room.

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Look into your heart, babe.......

I could have been having a seriously delusional moment, but I could have
swore I saw a tear fall from JC's eyes, too. I can't imagine why he would
be crying, so I guess I imagined it. Nonetheless, he got up and left the
room, leaving me with the rest of the song and an image of his lovely face
in my mind.

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

As the instrumental ending played, I realized just how true that song was
of my situation. I know, I know, I've only known him a few days, but I DO
do everything for me. He means everything to me. I was snapped out of my
JC-daze as the CD went to track two. I wiped my eyes and focused on what I
was listening to. Another amazing song, Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough,
by Patty Smyth and Don Henley. Whoever's CD this was had AWESOME taste in
mellow music.

As I listened further into the CD, I realized just how similar this
person's taste in music was with my own. The CD could have been titled
"Chris's Most Beautiful Songs in the World". It had Peter Gabriel's "In
Your Eyes" on it, and also "Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. This
was so bizarre how much whoever's musical tastes were similar to mine.

The music stopped and I heard the guys coming down the hall towards me, so
I pulled off the headphones and said hello as they walked in. They greeted
me and then split up to their individual activities. Chris and Joey started
a video game while Lance and JC went to the fridge to get some food. Justin
sat down in the chair next to me.

"Hey pal, how's it going?"

"Ok, I guess," I said. Then suddenly a thought came to me. "Hey Justin, do
you know who's CD player this is," I said, pointing to the device in
question.

"Oh yeah, that's mine. Why do you ask?"

"Man, this CD is awesome, did you make it?"

He looked genuinely confused. He reached over and opened the player to look
inside. "Oh, now I remember. That's JC's CD, he borrowed my CD player this
morning. Maybe you could talk to him about it......." At this point JC
walked past with a sandwich in his hand and overheard what Justin was
saying. He shot him a look that I couldn't quite interpret. "......and then
again maybe you should wait on that," Justin added quickly.

I shook my head sadly and looked at my watch. Almost show time. Justin and
I sat in silence for a few minutes before he and the guys went to get
dressed for the show. When they returned, I watched quietly as they hackied
and prayed. It was quite a sight, how close these 5 guys were. I told them
to break a leg as they headed for the stage, and then they were off.

They started off with, no big surprise, No Strings Attached. I watched from
just off-stage. Damn, these guys were awesome performers. If there was one
thing they knew how to do, it was entertain. I had gotten permission from
Lance earlier to take a few pictures for my personal collection, just as
long as I didn't sell them to anyone. One guess as to whom most of my
photographs centered on. JC just moved so fluidly, and he put so much
energy and emotion into the show. I got a few shots of Lance, too, trying
to avoid capturing one of the movements where the poor boy was lost. During
one of the ballads, I took a little time to write down a little note down
to JC and left it in his pants pocket back in the locker room. I went back
to the side of the stage and brought with me cold water bottles for the
guys to have during the first break. I also, per request, got Lance's next
costume change ready. The guys thanked me for the water and were back on
nearly as soon as they were off. Lance said I could take a seat in the
reserved section of the arena, which just happened to be right in front and
a little to the right.

I watched the show with great interest, never having seen it so up close
before. As the show was nearing a close, they started singing one of the
most beautiful songs ever, This I Promise You. As JC's verse
started, he turned his head slightly and we made eye contact. I saw a flash
of some emotion in his eyes, I couldn't figure out what, and a tear rolled
down his face. I resolved at that moment that I was going to talk to him at
the hotel tonight and figure out what was going on. It was just all to
confusing for me.

The group finished the wonderful ballad and started the finale of Bye,
Bye, Bye. The crowd was just eating it up. It was practically a
constant high-pitched scream. I watched just as intently as before,
focusing only on the beautiful blue-eyed JC. Once again, our eyes
eventually met. I'm not sure what it was, possibly the tear falling down
the side of my face to match his, but the instant after our gazes met, he
stumbled and nearly fell in the middle of the song, something I had not
seen him do through the entire show. Something odd was definitely going on,
and tonight was the time to get down to it.

I moved backstage once again and met the guys rejoicing over a good
show. Suddenly Justin turned to JC.

"Hey man, what happened during the second chorus of Bye, Bye, Bye, man? You
nearly fell flat on your face!!" he chuckled.

JC just shook him off. "I dunno, I guess I just got lost a little."

Chris jumped in, too. "Are you kidding? You NEVER get lost in the dance
steps!!"

"I can make mistakes, too, I'm not perfect!!!" JC snapped. He then stormed
out towards the dressing room.

"Man, what crawled up his ass?" Chris joked, and the rest of the guys
filtered out the same way.

Right before he stepped out, Justin turned to me. "Hey, we're just gonna
get cleaned up and then we can go out clubbing, 'k?"

I nodded, but cursed myself mentally. Damn, I guess talking to JC will just
have to wait a little while longer.

While the guys showered and changed, I busied myself with mindless drone
work like cleaning up and packing things. I myself changed, too, not
exactly dressed for the club scene at the time. I put on some cargo pants
and a tight black polo and re-did my hair in the mirror. Satisfied for the
most part with my appearance, I waited by the exit to the guys' dressing
room. They shuffled out decked out much flashier than I. Except for JC, who
was dressed in a sweat shirt and jeans. As we headed out, I kinda pulled
Justin back towards me a little away from the other guys.

"Isn't JC going with us?" I asked.

"Nah, he said he's just gonna go sleep. He's like that sometimes. Don't
worry about it. Let's just go have some fun!!" My heart still kinda sank
despite the encouraging words. But I was determined to have fun tonight, so
I pushed it to the back of my mind.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

JC was fumbling through his pockets for his key at the door to his hotel
room. The limo had dropped him off and was taking the guys to some club. He
just really wasn't in the mood with this whole Chris disaster going
on. He'd much rather just avoid Chris and let his feelings fade away. JC
felt a piece of paper he KNEW hadn't been in there before and pulled it
out.

		JC -

	I really like your CD. You have wonderful taste in music.
	Those songs were beautiful.

						~Chris

Oh man, why'd he have to do this, JC thought. It really wouldn't mean that
much to most people, but the little things got to him. JC thought it was an
extremely sweet gesture, despite any motives or lack thereof behind it. His
eyes started misting up. That's it, he thought, tonight is gonna be the
night. I'm gonna tell Chris how I feel and just ride out the storm. I'm
strong, I can take it. He took a big breath and headed inside his room to
plan out the coming ordeal.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

OK, so it wasn't much, but I'm still developing. I hoped you like it, and
if you read this, PLEASE e-mail me. Even just to tell me you read it, you
don't have to say you like it or not or anything. Anyway, the next chapter
will probably be short, too. Sorry!! Oh well, hope you liked it. PLEASE
e-mail me at Chris13731@aol.com. See ya