Ice Storm

By Kenitra

Legalities: Well, lets get this over with...I don't know Kevin Richardson or any of the Backstreet Boys, so everything in this story is strictly from my overactive imagination. All the other characters in the story are fictitious too! If you don't want to read about gay relationships, yet you're are very lost!! If you're too young...I don't want to know.

Author's notes: Yes its me again...getting sick of me yet? I wrote this story a while ago. I wasn't sure if I would continue it, or post it in installments...then I had a serious case of writer's block last week. I'm not impressed with what I wrote for Millennium Love part 20 and felt I decided to send this in, to make me feel better. :-))
This is a one time story...I already have one person asking me to continue it, but I just can't picture where to take it...and if I can't see it, I can't write it. Sorry :-(

Hope you enjoy it...and remember, feedback and comments are ALWAYS welcome!


`Maybe I should have gone back with Jerold,' Kevin thought as he stared out the window at the constant stream of icy rain. 'Although I wouldn't be doing much more at home than I am here.' He sighed. 'Alone as usual,' he thought.

"Parlez l'anglais?" a deep voice behind him suddenly said.

Kevin started slightly, drawn out of his daydreaming. "Excuse me?" Kevin asked as he turned to the voice and found he had to look up to see amber eyes surrounded by wavy blond hair. He felt his heart race. This man was gorgeous.

"Sorry," the man said, smiling easily. "I asked if you spoke English, which you obviously do. I think we're the only two here with English as a first language." Kevin remembered to breathe.

'Why haven't I seen him before?' he wondered before offering his hand. "Kevin Richardson." The man's large hand was warm and his handshake firm.

"Nice to meet you Kevin. I'm Kian Lareau." `Please tell me you're gay,' Kian wanted to ask, immediately taken by the incredibly handsome man looking at him. 'How'd I miss seeing him?'

Kevin quickly looked the man over. He stood at least four inches above Kevin's six-one frame and was solid muscles. Kevin smiled as his heart turned. "Let me guess, Irish and French?" he said just wanting to keep talking to this stranger.

Kian laughed a deep full laugh that made Kevin grin. "Not too obvious eh?" Kian said. 'He looks familiar, but I would remember seeing someone as hot as him.'

"Ah, and Canadian too!" Kevin added, making Kian laugh again.

"Attention, s'il vous plait!" a voice instructed. The dozen or so guests sitting in the chalet's large lounge turned to look at the resort manager. He began speaking quickly in French. Kevin sighed; he was quickly becoming tired of hearing only French.

Kian heard the sigh and realized Kevin probably didn't speak any of the language. He leaned close to Kevin; Kevin could feel his breath on his cheek. Kevin could smell Kian's cologne and his senses went wild. "He's explaining that the weather forecasters are predicting the storm will last another couple of days." Kian paused to hear more. "The roads are completely closed and the road down from here is blocked by fallen trees and branches." Another pause. "We don't need to worry because the resort is well stocked with food and uses propane for cooking and heat so we won't freeze if the power goes out."

"Great," Kevin muttered and Kian grinned, continuing his translation. Kevin couldn't help but look up at the tall blonde as he spoke. 'He's like a Greek God,' Kevin thought, then 'Kev you've been alone way too long, now get your mind out of the gutter.' Kevin tried to focus his attention on the manager while listening to Kian translate.

"He asks that we all bear with him, its unfortunate, but the weather is unpredictable and blah, blah, blah…" Kian finished and grinned at Kevin. Kevin returned the smile. It was gnawing at Kian; where had he seen that beautiful smile before?

The manager stopped talking and everyone in the room began to talk excitedly. The manager looked around before spotting Kevin by the large window. "Ah, Mr. Richardson," he said in a thick French accent as he approached. "I wanted to let you know what was happening."

"That's okay. This gentleman kindly translated for me," Kevin said, indicating Kian.

The manager looked at Kian and asked in French where he was from. As soon as Kian answered in French and said Ontario a brief look of disgust flashed across the manager's face. Kian noticed but wasn't surprised; Kevin was.

Kevin could feel his anger growing at the rudeness of the manager. When the manager turned back to him, Kevin dismissed him. "If I need anything I'll let you know," he said curtly. Kian grinned as the man walked away.

Kevin indicated the seat in front of them and was ecstatic when Kian agreed to sit. They sat down on the cushioned window seat facing each other. They could both stretch their legs in front, almost without touching. Kevin looked at Kian. "So why was he so rude to you?" Kevin asked, curious about this gorgeous blonde giant.

"Oh, didn't you know? Unless you're born and raised in Quebec you can't speak the language properly so why even try," Kian replied sarcastically, then smiled. "Sorry. It's a Canadian thing."

"Oh," was all Kevin said. He didn't really understand but didn't care as long as Kian was okay.

Then Kian asked a question. `So, who are you, Mr. Kevin Richardson, to garner so much attentiveness?" Kian thought he had finally placed the classically handsome stranger with the genuine smile, but wanted to hear what the turquoise eyed Greek god, had to say.

Kevin shrugged figuring Kian wouldn't know about a pop group whose main audience was little girls. "I'm a singer in a pop group. I guess we're really popular in Quebec right now."

"Ah." He'd been right, but wasn't about to let Kevin know. Why would a man approaching thirty know about a music group like that?

Kevin was surprised and grateful when Kian didn't ask for more information.

"So are you here alone?" Kian asked after a brief silence. It wasn't what he really wanted to ask, but it would do.

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, my brother was here but left a couple of days ago. I decided to stay the extra time because I'm meeting my bandmates in a few days in Montreal. I was going to leave this afternoon, but I guess not. What about you?" Kevin asked, silently praying that there wasn't a wife or girlfriend lurking nearby.

"I'm alone now," Kian said. "I was here with a couple of friends. They left yesterday but I wanted to get another few days of skiing and boarding in. I'm supposed to be back at work on Monday, but…" It was already Saturday.

"What do you do?" Kevin asked curiously, unable to figure this man out. He was enjoying talking to someone who was not a teenaged girl or a reporter, but a regular person.

Kian looked at Kevin and smiled. "I'm not a basketball player if that's what you're thinking," he said and Kevin felt himself blush slightly. `That's rare,' Kian thought.

"Sorry. It's not very often that I have to look up at someone. Everyone I work with is shorter than me," Kevin explained.

Kian nodded. `I'm a high school teacher, actually," Kian said. "I mainly teach English, French and drama, although I do teach phys. ed when necessary. I work in Ottawa."

"Sounds like a nice job. You enjoy it?"

Kian nodded. "Most of the time. It's great when you get a good bunch of kids; the ones really interested in learning and trying new things."

"How long have you been teaching?" Kevin asked, subtly trying to find out how old Kian was.

Kian complied. "I'm twenty-eight, so I've been at it for five years this spring. I was lucky and got a full time job right out of teachers college."

Kian looked into Kevin's aqua eyes, intrigued by their unique color. "So how long have you been in this music group?" Kian asked, accepting the cup of coffee offered by one of the resort's employees. Kevin took a cup too.

"Merci," Kevin said and the girl giggled, obviously knowing who Kevin was. Kian grinned and Kevin blushed again. "It's been five years. The group has been together since 1993, I was twenty-one and working at Disney World in Orlando. That's where we're based." Kevin leaned back against the window frame and relaxed, simply enjoying talking to Kian and looking at him.

The manager came back out and announced that a lunch buffet had been set up in the dining room for all those interested. Kian looked at Kevin hopefully, realizing that he was hungry.

Kevin laughed. "Geez, I know that look. Nick, he's the youngest, could eat 24-7 if we let him. Of course, he's a growing boy. What's your excuse?" Kevin asked with a smirk as they swung their legs off the bench and followed the other guests to the dining room.

Kian picked up a plate. "I like to pretend I'm still a growing boy," he said to Kevin. Kevin smiled, really enjoying his newfound company. It had been too long since Kevin had had a normal conversation with someone. They filled their plates and had just returned to their window seats when the lights flickered and went out.

"This could get interesting," Kian murmured. He almost wished it would turn cold so a little closer contact would be required. 'Damn, Kian, you keep thinking like that and Kevin will notice, then you won't even have someone to talk to, let alone keep your bed warm.'

They could see the dozen or so resort employees scurrying around. Finally the manager returned and asked for attention. Kian automatically began his translation. "They're going to hand out flashlights and candles to everyone. They would like everyone to pair up so no one accidentally becomes lost or injured. All employees and guests will be moved to floors one and two so that heat and propane can be conserved. He asks that everyone conserve batteries and candles whenever possible because it's hard to say when power will be restored and we'll be able to get down the mountain." Kian felt his heart rate increase at the thought of bunking with Kevin. He would have to be careful, but it would be nice to be in the company of the man even just as a new friend.

The manager finished talking and Kevin and Kian resumed eating.

"So where is your room?" Kevin asked, thinking almost the same thing as Kian had. Just the short time he'd spent talking to Kian had helped alleviate some of the loneliness he'd been feeling.

"I'm on the fourth floor. What about you?" Kian asked hopefully.

"I have a small suite on the second. So I guess you're moving in?" Kevin said meeting Kian's gaze, happy about the turn of events.

"If that's okay with you," Kian said. Kevin nodded, then reached to answer his ringing cell phone.

"Hello….I know that, but what can I do?……Listen Lou, I'll be there when I fuckin' get there!" Kevin slammed the phone closed and closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

Kian watched Kevin closely. "You okay, Kevin?" he asked quietly. Kevin looked close to tears.

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm alright," he said, obviously not wanting to talk about it. He smiled weakly at Kian and Kian nodded.

Kian was sorry to see Kevin so upset and wanted to take his mind off things. "You know, its going to get dark quickly. I should go get my stuff and move while we can still see."

Kevin smiled slightly. "Good idea. Mind if I come? I haven't seen above my own floor."

Kian wished he could just ask Kevin outright if he was gay; but he couldn't. They walked up the four floors to Kian's room. He opened the door and stepped into the small room. "It shouldn't take me long, I don't have much stuff," Kian said, pulling out his duffel bag.

"No problem," Kevin said and sat down on the bed. He discreetly watched the other man move around the room. He was at least six-five and solid muscle, but moved with a gracefulness that belied his size. Kevin quickly caught himself when he allowed his gaze to stray to Kian's thighs and the obvious package there. Kevin felt himself throb and quickly looked away, staring out the window. Except for a couple of very discreet encounters, Kevin had been playing it straight since the group was formed, almost five years earlier. Not even Brian, his cousin, knew that he was gay. Despite Howie and Nick coming out, Kevin hadn't felt comfortable telling the guys in the group.

"Hey, Kevin, I have a deck of cards I'll bring. Might help with the boredom?" Kian said, walking out of the bathroom with his shaving stuff.

"Sure. You ready?" Kian nodded. Kevin picked up the suitcase, noting the tiny maple leaf pin stuck into the leather. They left Kian's room, walking down the two floors to Kevin's suite.

It had a sitting area with a separate bedroom. There was a little kitchenette and a large stone fireplace. The couch pulled out into a double bed. Kian followed Kevin, watching the muscles in Kevin's back ripple as he moved. Kian almost laughed when he realized he'd licked his lips. Kevin set Kian's suitcase beside the couch.

"I hope this is okay with you?" Kevin asked suddenly, turning to look at Kian. Kian sat down on the couch and stretched out his legs.

"Sure. It's a cross between a sleepover and a camping trip like when I was a kid," he grinned, displaying straight white teeth.

Kevin set the flashlight and candles down on the small table. "Can I offer you a drink?" he asked, suddenly feeling nervous. He opened the small fridge. "I have some beer and pop." He looked back at Kian.

"Oh, a beer would be great."

Kevin pulled out two Canadians, handing one to Kian before sitting down at the other end of the couch. His phone rang again. He smiled ruefully. "Sorry," he said before answering it.

"Hello….Hey B, whats up?…I know Lou is flipping. I think maybe you were right, Brian. We need to talk to the others….They what? They want you to reschedule your surgery?" Kevin jumped up and began pacing. "Those damned bastards. We make them millionaires and to hell with us?" Kevin listened to Brian. "I know. Talk with the others and as soon as I get back we'll put this in motion, okay?…I'll be careful. You take it easy too, cus. Say `Hi' to Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold." Kevin closed his phone and stood staring out the window, trying to calm down.

Kian watched Kevin during the phone call. Something was seriously wrong. He walked over to Kevin and touched his shoulder. Kevin tensed momentarily, then relaxed. "Sorry," he said softly. Kevin just wanted to turn into those strong arms and cry. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.

"For what? You're obviously having trouble with someone. That's not your fault," Kian said quietly, wishing he could do more to help Kevin.

Kevin sighed. "No, but it feels like its all my responsibility."

"Your band, they rely on you heavily, don't they?" Kian observed, wondering why this man had to bear the entire burden.

Kevin sighed again. "Yeah. I guess its because I'm the oldest. They all look to me to make decisions." He paused. "And this decision is huge."

"Want to talk about it? It's not as if we have a whole lot of other things to do," Kian said lightly.

Kevin turned, meeting Kian's gaze, intrigued by the light brown color of his eyes. Kevin could read the sincerity on Kian's face. 'Why not, Kev? Everyone tells you their problems, why shouldn't you have someone to tell your problems to?' "Okay." Kevin sat down again and Kian joined him.

They talked for hours. Kevin told Kian about the problems with management, how money was missing, about Brian's heart surgery and management wanting him to reschedule. When it became too dark to see each other, Kian started a fire in the fireplace. The flickering light danced over the walls and in their eyes.

There was a knock at the door. "Excuse me, Mr. Richardson. Dinner is being served in the dining room," the voice said.

"Thank you," Kevin replied.

They went down for dinner, both quiet, lost in their own thoughts. The meal was served, lit by candle and lantern light. After dinner, no one wanted to hang around and be sociable. Everyone was anxious for the storm to end so they could leave. Kevin and Kian stayed in the lounge for a while talking. A young couple remained too. The four began talking and decided to play cards. The couple was from Quebec but spoke some English. Kian ran upstairs to get the cards and they spent the next few hours playing a variety of card games.

Finally, Lise and Mario decided to go to bed. "I guess we should get some sleep too," Kevin said when the couple had left. Kian nodded.

Back in Kevin's suite, they were quiet. They got ready for bed but kept out of each other's way. Kian pulled the sofa bed out and thanked Kevin for the extra blankets.

"Good night, Kevin," Kian said softly as Kevin walked into the bedroom.

"Good night, Kian."

Day 2
Neither man slept well that night. Kian was plagued by dreams of turquoise eyes and black hair. Kevin was kept awake by thoughts of blonde hair and amber eyes. Kian finally got up. It was early and still dark out. He could hear the rain still tapping against the window. He quickly made up the couch and folded the blankets. He couldn't make coffee in the room without electricity so he poured himself a glass of water and sat staring in the dark, having a debate with himself.

'Why don't you just ask him, Ki?' his heart asked. 'What for? You won't see him again once you leave here,' argued his brain. 'Anything is possible. Especially if he feels about you, the way you're starting to feel about him,' his heart countered. 'And how do you feel about him?' the logical brain wondered. 'He's sweet and funny, smart and mature, sad and lonely, and breathtakingly beautiful,' his heart and soul replied as he pictured Kevin in his mind with those wondrous eyes and that amazing smile. Kian had been alone a long time and maybe it was simply a case of wanting someone, anyone. But there was something about Kevin that drew Kian, pulled him in like a magnet. He wanted to see Kevin's smile, watch his face, hear his voice.

"Kian?" Kevin said quietly from behind him, making Kian jump. "Sorry. I wasn't sure if I'd heard you up earlier or not." Kevin walked over to the chair and sat down, he was wearing boxers and a t-shirt. It was just beginning to get light outside. His short dark brown hair was sticking up, but Kian thought it looked great. "How'd you sleep?" Kevin asked.

Kian shook his head. "Not that great. Strange room, I guess. What about you?"

"No," Kevin said softly. "Too much on my mind, I guess."

Kian realized Kevin was still thinking about the phone calls from the day before. He didn't think he could stand being stuck alone with Kevin all day today without trying to comfort him, and getting himself into trouble. "Well, the weather hasn't changed. I suppose we could go downstairs and see what's going on. I'd be happy even to get outside for a while. I hate being stuck inside," he said lightly.

It sounded like Kian wanted to get away from him. Kevin couldn't blame him. They only met yesterday and Kevin had already told him his life crises. Kevin stood. "Me too. I think I'll shower and get dressed." He returned to the bedroom.

'Damn Kevin, why'd you spill your guts like that?' He was angry with himself as he stripped off his clothes and stepped under the warm water. 'He's obviously not gay and even if he were, why would he want to get involved with someone whose life is as fucked up as yours?' Kevin showered quickly and dressed.

Once both men were dressed, they wandered down to the lounge. A table had been set up along one wall with coffee, fruit, cereals and muffins. Both filled up a plate and sat down to eat.

The resort manager appeared a little while later. He asked the nearly thirty people for volunteers. The ice was building up dangerously thick in some areas of the roof and needed to be broken up. Extra firewood needed to be brought inside as well. There was already over an inch of ice coating everything, making any outside venture hazardous due to falling branches, trees and chunks of ice. Kevin and Kian immediately volunteered to help. Anything to get outside. Both thought another day spent with the other could be a problem.

The daylight hours went quickly as everyone participated in some form to help clear ice, haul wood, make food, and tidy rooms. Kevin and Kian enjoyed the day, talking and working side by side as they chopped ice away from drainage areas, and carried in large logs for firewood. As darkness arrived around five, everyone was back inside. Kevin and Kian stripped off their soaking outerwear. Their clothes were drenched with sweat. Each had a shower and changed. Dinner would be in two hours. They sat quietly on the couch, exhausted.

Kian had tried hard not to stare at Kevin during the day, but found he couldn't help it. Every moment spent with him, talking to him, listening to him drew Kian closer. He needed to know.

"Hey, Kevin," Kian said softly. "How come your girlfriend isn't with you?"

"Don't have a girlfriend," Kevin said without opening his eyes.

Kian let hope soar for a moment, then quashed it. "I guess you're too busy, touring and stuff?"

"Something like that," Kevin said softly. "What about you?" Kevin asked, sitting up and looking at Kian, wondering if there was a reason Kian was asking.

"Haven't found the right person," Kian said. Kevin looked closely at Kian stretched out. He'd said `right person', not `right girl'. What did that mean? Kevin needed to think about it. They both dozed for the next ninety minutes until dinner.

Everyone was more sociable, after the day of cooperative work. The few people that could speak some English, talked to Kevin. Even the manager warmed up to Kian.

Afterwards, everyone moved out to the lounge where a roaring fire was blazing in the giant stone fireplace. Kevin realized he'd been staring at Kian throughout dinner and wasn't ready to be alone with him. He was afraid what he might do.

"You want to hang out down here for a while?" Kevin suggested.

Kian hid his disappointment. "Sure." He'd wanted to be alone with Kevin so they could talk more.

Kevin had a thought. "Be right back," he said and grabbed the flashlight, darting up the stairs. He came back a few minutes later carrying an acoustic guitar. He sat down on the stone platform in front of the fireplace and began to play. Kian found a seat nearby and watched. He had to tell Kevin he knew who he was although that might give his secret away.

Kevin began playing *As Long As You Love Me*. He slowed it down and sang softly, knowing he didn't have the same range as some of the other guys did. Kian sat entranced watching Kevin, the peaceful expression on his face as he sang. He played a couple of other songs, covers of other hits, then did *Like a Child*. It was Kian's favorite Backstreet Boys' song and he closed his eyes singing along silently, feeling the song permeate through him.

If I could right the wrongs that made you cry
I make a promise not to say goodnight
Cause I'm holding on
With a love so strong
And I can't take a day without you by my side
Girl if I could change
If I could change your mind
Baby you could help me wipe these tears from my eyes
Girl don't stop
The sun from shining down on me
'Cause I can't face another day without your smile
And if you take away the loving arms that suit around me
Then I may break down and cry just like a child
Girl, I can't belong and I won't be free
If I fail to bring your lovin' back to me
So I'm pressin' on
I hope you understand
There's a broken heart that lies inside your hands
So if I could change
And it won't hurt your pride
Baby you can help me stop these tears that I cry
Girl don't stop
The sun from shining down on me
'Cause I can't face another day without your smile
And if you take away the loving arms that suit around me
Then I may break down and cry just like a child

Kevin ended the song and his impromptu concert. The small audience applauded their appreciation and Kevin smiled shyly. He looked at Kian and nearly gasped. The look on Kian's face was so intense. Kevin blinked and looked again only to find Kian smiling at him. What had he seen? Kian had been watching him with such intensity and ….desire. Kevin was confused.

He began walking towards the stairs and Kian jumped up to follow. Kevin needed to collect his thoughts and kept ahead of Kian until he reached the room.

"What's the rush, Kevin?" Kian asked, grabbing Kevin's arm.

"Nothing," Kevin said harshly and opened the door. Kian sighed. He was afraid Kevin had seen the way he was looking at him and figured out he was gay. Kian knew it could be bad if Kevin had a problem with it.

Kevin went straight to the bedroom and Kian made his way to the couch. He stopped to put another log on the dying fire wanting the light it would provide. Kian leaned back and closed his eyes, disappointed that he'd ruined a blossoming friendship and hoping Kevin didn't ask him to leave.

In the bedroom, Kevin put his guitar away then stared out the ice covered window into the blackness. The blackness was an analogy for his life. He knew what he'd seen on Kian's face, lust, need, and desire. He was feeling the same things. He had two choices; play it smart and ignore Kian and ignore his own feelings, or risk everything. "Fuck it," he said softly. He was so sick of always being the responsible one. Taking a deep breath, he walked back out to the sitting room and stood staring down at Kian. `Please let him want me,' Kevin prayed silently.

Kian opened his eyes, sensing Kevin's presence. He looked at the younger man afraid he'd see hate, but instead found a mixture of hope, fear and desire. Kian stood up. Kevin looked so vulnerable and afraid. Kian walked over to him and stared into those blue-green eyes. He raised his hand and let his fingers stroke Kevin's jaw, gauging his reaction. Kevin didn't move; he couldn't tear his eyes away from Kian's face.

Kian lowered his head until his lips softly touched Kevin's. Kevin suddenly melted into Kian's arms, grabbing him tightly and kissing him frantically. Kevin wanted to be a part of him. Kian grabbed Kevin's arms, holding him firmly. "Kevin, slow down," he said gently. He could see Kevin was starved for intimacy. His eyes were pleading and Kian kissed his mouth. "We have all night," Kian whispered as a promise. Kevin relaxed a little and Kian released his arms.

Kevin raised his hands to run them through Kian's hair, soaking up the feeling, the texture, and the contours of Kian's skull.

Kian bent to kiss Kevin again. Exploring the hollows of Kevin's cheeks, the shape of his nose, his thick brows and thin lips. Kian moved down to Kevin's throat, kissing his Adam's apple.

Kevin moaned and leaned his body into Kian; their groins grinding together. Kian gasped when he felt Kevin's hard rod against him. He returned his lips to Kevin's and jabbed his tongue, forcing the lips apart. He slid his tongue into the moist cavern, running it along the rigidness of Kevin's teeth before finding Kevin's tongue. The two tongues met and began a slow erotic dance learning the moves of the other before attacking and retreating, teasing and arousing.

While their tongues were engaged, Kian ran his hands down Kevin's body, discovering the solid, muscled shoulders and arms, and the firm, rigid chest. He wanted to feel real flesh and inserted his hands beneath Kevin's shirt.

Kevin groaned at the touch of flesh on flesh. He leaned back so he could yank off his shirt, tossing it aside.

The fire crackled, mirroring the heat being generated by the two men. Kian looked at Kevin's smooth chest, perfectly toned but not bulging with muscles. He couldn't resist and lowered his head to sample, gently grabbing a nipple in his teeth. "Oh my god!" Kevin gasped at the new sensation. He ran his hands through Kian's hair, across his neck and shoulders and down his back. He grabbed Kian's sweater and pulled it up his back, wanting the barrier gone. Kian straightened and finished pulling it off, throwing it behind him.

Kevin's eyes widened. Hard, solid, rippling muscles and sculptured chest and abdomen with a light dusting of blonde hair. Kevin's eyes followed the trail down to the waist of Kian's jeans and below, widening more at the huge bulge he could see there. He shivered. Kian saw Kevin's glance but didn't want to rush things.

He reached down and tilted Kevin's face up, meeting his eyes. "Kevin," he said so softly, so tenderly. It was Kevin's undoing. Kevin suddenly felt tears running down his face as all of his pent up emotions, loneliness, isolation, need, fear, want, desire, finally burst out. Kian wrapped his arms around him and led him to the couch. Kian held Kevin tightly as he gasped for breathe and tried to regain his composure. He'd always walled off his emotions but now that the gate was open, it was going to be difficult to close. Kian gently rubbed Kevin's back and hair. "Let it out, Kevin. It's okay. Just let it all go, you'll feel better."

Kevin leaned against Kian's solid chest and cried. He needed to be held and comforted; for once, someone was telling him everything would be okay. He felt safe in those strong arms and allowed himself to feel. They remained wrapped together for a long time until Kevin's sobbing gradually subsided. Kian continued to massage his back. Kevin wasn't prepared to meet Kian's golden eyes yet. He was feeling things he never thought he would ever feel.

When Kevin had completely stopped crying, Kian gently pushed him back so he could see his face. He gently ran his thumbs below Kevin's eyes, wiping the tears away. Kevin was emotionally exhausted. Kian pulled Kevin up and led him to the chair, gently pushing him into it. Kian returned to the couch and quickly pulled the cushions off, pulling out the bed. He picked up the blankets and spread them out. Before taking Kevin's hand and leading him to the bed, Kian bent down and undid Kevin's jeans, pulling them off. Kevin let himself be led. They lay down on the bed in their boxers. Kevin put his head on Kian's muscular, warm chest and Kian wrapped his arms around him.

Kevin sighed. "I can't remember the last time someone took care of me like this," he whispered.

"Their loss," Kian said, softly kissing Kevin's hair, "but my gain."

They fell silent, listening to the crackle of the fire, the rain pelting the window and the two heartbeats, beating in unison.

Kevin stirred. He could feel the warmth surrounding him and snuggled closer. He was so completely relaxed and rested; he never wanted to move. The gray light of another cloudy day was filtering in the ice-covered window. Kevin closed his eyes and listened to Kian's heartbeat, still not quite believing what had happened.

The large hand on his back began to slowly move, running lightly up and down his spine sending shivers coursing through him.

"Mmm," Kevin murmured, enjoying the feel of human contact, especially this particular human. He raised his head, propping his chin on one hand, running his other hand over the solid mass of muscles on Kian's chest. He smiled up at Kian. "Morning!"

Kian leaned forward, gently kissing Kevin's lips. He smiled tenderly. "How'd you sleep, Kevin?" he asked.

Kevin grinned. "Like a baby!" He lowered his head back to Kian's chest. "Do you think anyone would notice if we stayed here all day?" he asked quietly.

Kian laughed softly and Kevin could hear it in his chest. Suddenly Kian gently rolled Kevin off him. He climbed out of bed and rummaged around for clothes. Kevin just laid back and admired the view. Kian glanced at him. "Hey, you perv!" he said, tossing a sock at Kevin. Kevin just grinned. Kian quickly threw on some clothes. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he promised, grabbing another kiss before he headed out the door.

Kevin ran to the bathroom then returned to the bed, stretching languidly, unable to wipe the smile from his face. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering how he could be so happy. He'd never met anyone like Kian. He was strong, sexy, incredibly cute and smart. Everything Kevin had fantasized about, but never expected to find. Kevin pushed any thoughts, about when the storm ended, out of his mind.

Kian came back a few minutes later carrying a large tray of food and coffee. Kevin propped himself up against the pillows. Kian noticed the smile on his face. "What are you smiling about?" he asked with his own smile as he set the tray on the bed.

Kevin looked at Kian intently. "I'm happy," he said finally.

Kian sat down. "Good!" More than anything he wanted Kevin to be happy.

Kevin looked at the loaded tray. "What did you tell them?" he asked, grabbing a cup of coffee.

Kian grinned. "I said that you think you pulled some muscles shoveling ice yesterday so decided to stay in the room to rest."

Kevin leaned forward and kissed him. "I love it!"

"Of course, the manager is shitting, afraid you'll sue or something. I told him you just didn't want to be disturbed." Kevin began to laugh and Kian joined in.

They feasted on fruit, muffins, toast, pancakes and juice. Kian lay across the bottom of the bed watching Kevin.

"I have a confession to make Kevin," he said suddenly. Kevin met his eyes. "I know who you are."

"Uh, yeah, Kevin, remember?" Kevin said cutely.

Kian smiled. "I mean, I didn't realize it at first, but as we started to talk, I realized what band you were in. I've heard you guys on the radio and seen your videos." Kian waited for Kevin's reaction but was surprised when he smiled easily.

"I figured as much when I saw you singing along last night," he said, breaking into a grin. Kian blushed; his fair skin turning a deep red color.

Kevin laughed and reached to pull Kian up over him. He laid back and looked at Kian. "I don't care," he said, running his elegant fingers along Kian's jaw. "You treated me like a real person, not a music star and that's all I want."

They simply stayed on the bed holding each other and talking. Kevin found himself telling Kian things that only one or two people knew. He'd never been able to talk so easily with someone before. Kian lay listening to Kevin, loving the sound of his voice, the scent of his skin. His hand traced the small tattoo on Kevin's pelvic bone; it was Japanese writing.

Kian was used to keeping his personal life a closely guarded secret. In university, he'd had a number of short-term relationships but nothing too intense. Since he started teaching, there had only been a couple of men, but they weren't comfortable staying in the closet. Kian didn't want to lose his job, not that they could fire him for being gay, but it could be very uncomfortable. He was able to tell all of this to Kevin.

Early afternoon Kian's stomach growled.

Kevin laughed. "Why don't you go get us some lunch? I'm gonna take a quick shower and put some clothes on."

"Aw!" Kian complained.

"Okay, not too many clothes, I promise," Kevin said with a smile.

Kian left and Kevin took a shower in record time. As he pulled some track pants on, he realized he was feeling things and thinking things he'd never felt or thought before. It was a little overwhelming. He thought for a moment before he took out his cell phone. He needed to talk to someone about what he was feeling and the only person he could think of was Howie.


"Hey, D. its Kev."

"Kevy, how are ya? Still stuck?" Howie asked, then in the background Kevin heard him giggle, saying, "stop that!"

"Howie, could you ask Nicky if he'd mind if we talked alone for a few minutes?" Kevin asked.

Howie heard the intensity in Kevin's voice and became serious. "Sure Kevin." After a moment of silence, he came back on the line. "Okay, what's up?"

"Um…Howie…I think I've met somebody," Kevin said softly.

Kevin couldn't see Howie's smile. "That's great Kevin. You deserve to find some happiness. Want to talk about it?"

"Um…I just wanted to ask you …Howie, how'd you know Nick was the one?" Kevin asked, deciding to just get to the point.

Howie was quiet for a minute. "Um, Kev, do you mean just `the person for me' or `the right *man* for me'?" Howie asked, wondering if his suspicions about Kevin were true.

It was Kevin's turn to be silent. Then he realized if he couldn't trust the guys, who could he trust. "I guess I mean the right man, Howie," Kevin said, finally letting his secret out.

Howie didn't act shocked or surprised. "With Nick, it happened so slowly. He was just a kid when we met, ya know. But I guess I knew when every time I saw him, I smiled; when he wasn't in the room, my first thought was when was he going to be there; when my heart raced every time I heard his voice or his laugh. He still makes my heart race." Howie paused. "Does that help at all Kevin?"

"Yeah D. Can I ask one more thing?"


"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Howie laughed softly. "Yeah Kev, I do."

"Thanks D. Um, do me a favor and don't tell anyone what we talked about, okay? Unless you have to tell Nick," Kevin added, knowing how persistent Nick could be.

"No problem, Kev. I'll think of something to tell Blondie," Howie promised. "Listen, Kev, be careful. I'm not talking professionally, because I know you'll be careful there. I'm talking personally, watch your heart. I don't want ya to get hurt." Howie's sincerity and concern moved Kevin. He heard Kian come through the door.

"Thanks D. I'll try. I'll see you and Nick, hopefully, in Montreal next Saturday. Bye."

Kian was carrying another tray piled with food. He'd heard Kevin say goodbye. "Everything okay, Kev?" he asked.

Kevin set the phone down and crossed his legs so Kian could set the tray down. He looked at the blonde man and felt his heart pound. `Too late Howie,' he thought, and grinned.

The smile on Kevin's face made Kian smile. "What?" he asked, as he sat down on the bed facing Kevin. He wanted to know what had put the light in Kevin's eyes and the smile on his face.

Kevin shook his head. "Everything's fine." He looked at the tray. "Did you leave anything for the others?" he asked, gaping at all the food. "We can't eat all this!"

Kian smirked. "I was thinking we could work off some extra energy this afternoon," he said huskily and Kevin shivered. He grabbed some food and began eating.

After a few minutes, Kevin decided he had to tell Kian. "Kian," he began.

"Mmm?" Kian asked, looking up from his food.

"I don't know …." Kevin looked at him, hoping he'd understand.

Kian stopped eating and looked intently at Kevin, suddenly comprehending. "That's okay Kevin," Kian said tenderly. "I know I'm monstrous and I don't expect you to."

Kevin realized Kian thought it was his size, but it was more than that. He shook his head. "No, Kian. You don't understand. I'm a …virgin." Kevin blushed but continued. "I don't have much experience. Before the band, I fooled around a little with a guy or two I'd met at work, but since then, almost nothing. Until that phone call I just made, I'd never told or even hinted to anyone including the band, that I was gay."

Kian slid up the bed beside Kevin. "That must have been hard," he said softly, taking Kevin's hand into his.

Kevin needed to say more. He was tired of hiding his emotions and wanted Kian to know exactly what he was thinking. "I know we just met, and haven't talked about anything. I don't even know if you want to see me once we get out of here." Kevin stared at the bed sheets silently praying that Kian wouldn't hurt him. He didn't know if he could stand it, not now.

Kian grabbed Kevin's chin and forced him to look at him. "I do!" Kian said forcefully. Kevin's heart pounded at the intensity in Kian's eyes. "I don't know how we'll do it, but we'll work something out, if that's what you want?" Kian asked, suddenly uncertain about Kevin's feelings.

Kevin nodded, smiling tremulously, his heart racing. "As far as making love with you," Kevin said sweetly, "I want to. I don't want to rush things, but when the time is right," he promised.

Kian leaned over for a kiss. "I'm sure we can find other things to do to use up extra energy," he said, running his hand down Kevin's bare chest, delighting in the tremor he felt.

They finished eating and Kian put the tray on the small kitchen table, before returning to the bed. He lay on his side beside Kevin's lanky form and stared at the smooth, tanned flesh. Kevin had his arms behind his head and his eyes closed. Kian ran his fingers down Kevin's arm, lightly over his sparse underarm hair and right down his side. Kevin shivered and goosebumps sprang up on his skin. Kian's fingers traced each pectoral and abdominal muscle causing the flesh to twitch at the feather touch. A finger delved into his belly button then ran straight up his sternum.

He traced the light stubble on Kevin's chin, then followed the outline of an ear. Kevin was whimpering slightly at each touch. "Turn over," Kian commanded softly. Kevin rolled over to his stomach. Kian continued exploring Kevin's body with his fingers, tracing and massaging his shoulder blades, then running down Kevin's spine to the small of his back.

Kian sat up and grabbed the elastic waist of Kevin's track pants, pulling them down to his ankles. Kevin gasped as the elastic rubbed his growing tool. Kian stared at the perfect, firm ass, the cheeks were round yet muscled. A feather like touch caused Kevin to flex those muscles. Reaching down to where the ass meets the legs, Kian ran his thumb up the crevice separating the mounds. Kevin tensed.

"Relax, love," Kian said softly and Kevin released his muscles. Kian bent his head and began kissing the smooth flesh of Kevin's ass. He kissed and licked his way over one, then leaned across to the other. He began to lightly run a finger up and down the crack as he worked.

Kian wanted to pleasure Kevin and had an idea. "Kev," he said softly.

"Mmm?" Kevin murmured.

"Would you lie on your side, back to me?" he asked.

Kevin moved without question, rolling onto his side. He curled his knees a little and Kian smiled to himself. `Perfect,' he thought.

He slid down the bed closer to Kevin's slightly parted ass cheeks. He lowered his head and quickly ran his tongue down the crack.

"Oh god!" Kevin gasped.

Kian's tongue became more aggressive and pushed deeper into the crack, moving down until it touched Kevin's puckered hole. Kevin shuddered. Kian used his strong hands to gently move the cheeks apart, allowing his tongue to delve deeper into Kevin's hole. His tongue could feel Kevin contracting his anus as it was assaulted by new sensations.

Kian continued the tongue action for a few minutes, until Kevin relaxed more and began to enjoy it. When he stopped, Kevin moaned. Kian leaned across Kevin to his suitcase and after a moment of rummaging, found a small bottle of lubricant. Kevin watched Kian closely, suddenly unsure.

"Kian?" Kevin said hesitantly.

Kian kissed his ear. "Trust me. This is only practice. Want me to stop?" He wanted to please Kevin but had no intention of rushing him into anything.

Kevin did trust Kian and knew he wouldn't hurt him. He shook his head. "No. It feels amazing."

Kian covered one of his fingers liberally with lubricant. He slowly began running it up and down Kevin's crack, lightly touching his hole before moving on. Gradually he kept his finger around the hole longer, stroking along the edge, teasing the entrance until well greased. He knew Kevin was aroused.

Finally he placed his finger at the entrance and pushed in slowly, all the way until his knuckles were pressed against Kevin's ass. Kevin inhaled sharply at the unexpected intrusion. "God, that feels good," he whispered. Kian began to move his finger in and out, thoroughly greasing Kevin's ass inside and out. His finger ran along the sphincter causing Kevin to shudder.

Kian saw Kevin reach down to grab his throbbing cock. He stopped him. "Wait," Kian said huskily. Kevin moaned, but left his pulsing tool alone.

Kian pulled his finger out, leaving Kevin gasping. "Onto your back, love," Kian whispered and Kevin immediately turned. Kian could see Kevin was completely aroused and precum was dripping from his erect rod. Kian raised Kevin's knees and sat between them. He returned his one hand to Kevin's hole, quickly inserting his finger deep inside, making Kevin cry out softly with pleasure. With his other hand, he grabbed Kevin's dripping cock and Kevin gasped.

Kian began a rapid movement, choreographing both hands, thrusting in with one and jacking up and down with the other. He watched Kevin's face closely, bringing him closer to the brink. As soon as Kian saw Kevin's body go taunt, he lowered his head to Kevin's cock to suck the warm juices flowing out and he shoved a second finger deep into Kevin's ass.

Kevin cried out and his body convulsed, completely enveloped in exquisite sensations of pleasure and ecstasy. He panted as his cock pumped out load after load into Kian's mouth. He could feel the fingers deep in his ass as his muscles constricted and relaxed with the orgasm.

When the orgasm finally ended, Kian gently pulled his fingers out and lowered Kevin's legs before moving up over him. He found those beautiful lips and kissed them.

"See, practicing doesn't have to be dull and boring," he whispered, making Kevin laugh.

"That was incredible," Kevin said, all of his senses still heightened. Then he looked at Kian. "But what did you get?"

Kian smiled tenderly and nibbled Kevin's chin. "I got to give you pleasure. That was enough."

Kevin hugged him tightly, loving the feeling of the larger man lying on top of him. He felt completely safe, protected and loved. Before he realized it, Kevin whispered, "I love you," into Kian's ear. Kian tensed.

"God, I'm sorry Kian," Kevin apologized, swearing at himself. He didn't want to chase Kian away by being too intense too soon. "I just meant … I mean it was the heat of the moment …" Kevin tried to cover up his mistake.

Kian lifted his head to look at Kevin. He put a finger to Kevin's lips. "Do you mean that?" he asked carefully.

Kevin closed his eyes and sighed. No point denying it; he nodded. Kian squeezed tightly. "I fell in love with you on Saturday," he said quietly and honestly.

Kevin thought he would burst. He hugged Kian closely.

They stayed like that until it was dark, outside and in, simply holding tightly to each other, processing their feelings. Finally Kian rolled off Kevin and grabbed a flashlight so he could get a fire going in the fireplace. Then he crawled back onto the bed and under the covers, pulling Kevin close to his chest.

"Kevin," Kian said softly.

"Don't," Kevin interrupted him, knowing what he wanted to talk about. "Not tonight, please. It can wait till tomorrow," Kevin begged.

Kian relented, hating to see Kevin get upset. "Okay, Kev," he said, kissing Kevin on the forehead and holding him close until they fell asleep.

Kevin woke up feeling the most wondrous warmth wrapped around him. The pillow under his head was warm, muscled flesh. He looked down at the powerful arms folded across his chest and sighed.

Kian softly kissed Kevin's hair. "Morning Kev," he said quietly and tightened his grasp.

"Mmm. You make the most amazing bed," Kevin murmured, snuggling against the warm, lean body beside him. "How long have you been awake?" he asked softly.

He could feel Kian smile. "A while. I just wanted to watch you sleep."

Kevin rolled over onto Kian's chest. "That sounds terribly boring," Kevin said softly, craning his neck to briefly kiss Kian.

Kian grinned. "Well, I added in my own daydreams too." Kevin blushed. Kian lost his smile. "The rain has stopped," he said quietly.

Kevin sighed loudly and sat up, blinking back the sudden onslaught of tears.

"We knew it would eventually, Kev," Kian whispered as he sat up too and wrapped his arms around Kevin's waist. Kevin leaned his back into the muscled chest behind him.

"I know," he whispered. Kian gently kissed Kevin's neck and ear, sending shivers through Kevin.

"Why don't we shower, dress and go see what's happening downstairs? We still may not get out of here today." Kian nibbled on Kevin's earlobe. "Then we can spend what time we have left, back here, doing …whatever." Kian's pause caused Kevin to shiver as he thought about the possibilities.

Kevin agreed and reluctantly pulled himself out of Kian's arms and walked into the bathroom. His mind began to race as he stood under the water. 'What if we leave here today and I never see him again?' he asked himself. He knew he couldn't do that. Somehow, in four short days Kian had reached a part of Kevin that no one had ever seen. This was the real Kevin; the Kevin that craved loved, that needed to be loved. He would shrivel and die inside if Kian walked out of his life now. That thought frightened Kevin. He had always kept his heart locked away where it couldn't be hurt. He couldn't risk falling in love in case that love was thrown back in his face, or worse, used against him. Yet here he was, in love with someone who lives thousands of miles away and he knew he couldn't, he wouldn't, change a second of it. For once, Kevin had to let someone else be in control.

He sighed again and stepped out of the shower, drying off, shaving and brushing his teeth before walking into the bedroom to get dressed. He quickly pulled on boxers, jeans and a sweatshirt before rejoining Kian.

"Bathroom's all yours Ki," Kevin said as he walked over to where Kian was standing looking out the window at the ice-encrusted world outside. He put his arms around Kian's waist and rested his chin on Kian's shoulder. "What are you thinking about?" he asked softly.

Kian covered Kevin's arms with his own. "Just praying for a little more freezing rain," he murmured. Kevin could hear the slight waver in Kian's voice and realized Kian was having the same thoughts as Kevin had had in the shower. Kevin turned Kian towards him and looked up into his golden brown eyes.

Kevin gently pulled Kian's face to his own and kissed his soft, full lips, savoring the taste. Kian responded and their mouths soon opened, allowing their tongues to join in and create new and more intense sensations. After a long, deep kiss, Kevin gently pushed Kian away. He ran his fingers down Kian's cheek and stared into his eyes. "Go shower," he ordered softly. Kian grinned and walked to the bathroom, picking up the clothes he was going to wear, along the way.

He showered and shaved quickly before dressing and joining Kevin again. They shared another sweet kiss before separating and walking downstairs together.

They immediately went to the dining room for coffee and breakfast. Kian asked one of the guests if anything had been announced about leaving the resort, now that the rain had stopped. The man told Kian that people had been hired to clear the mountain road, but it would take most of the day if not longer. The earliest anyone would be allowed to leave was the next day. Kian thanked him and walked over to where Kevin had sat down to eat.

The resort manager arrived at the table at the same moment. "Mr. Richardson, someone has contacted us about getting you out of here as soon as possible. It is your decision, of course, but now that the rain has finished, we could probably fly in a helicopter to take you to Montreal. Or we could arrange for a car to meet you at the bottom of the mountain and take you down by snowmobile." Kevin looked at the manager then at Kian. Kian tried to avoid Kevin's eyes, not wanting to influence his decision, no matter how much he wanted Kevin to stay.

"When will everyone else be leaving?" Kevin finally asked.

"It is hoped that everyone will be able to leave tomorrow," the manager replied. "The road should be passable by then."

Kevin nodded. "Then I'll leave tomorrow with everyone else. I don't think I should get special treatment when we all have been stuck here together."

Kian managed not to laugh as he watched the manager reappraise Kevin, realizing he'd been wrong about the pop star. "Very well. And if Mr. Perlman calls again?"

Kevin sighed softly. "Tell Mr. Perlman if he has a problem, to call me, he has my number," Kevin said. The manager nodded and excused himself.

Kian allowed himself to meet Kevin's gaze and smiled softly. Kevin smiled back. They quickly finished eating and returned to the suite. All everyone at the resort was doing was waiting, so no one noticed when the two men went back upstairs.

As they walked up the stairs, Kevin began to think about what Kian had said earlier, about doing 'whatever'. Kevin knew what he wanted to do, now he just had to find out if Kian was interested.

Kian thought about Kevin as they walked up the two flights of stairs. He wanted to know Kevin intimately; he needed to feel Kevin's flesh against his own. But there was no way he would push Kevin into anything he wasn't ready for.

As soon as they walked through the door, Kevin grabbed Kian and pulled him around, pushing him against the closed door. Kevin leaned into Kian and began to kiss him passionately. He ran his hands down Kian's chest as he moved his lips along Kian's jaw and down his throat to his Adam's apple. Kian leaned his head back and moaned slightly. Kevin had taken him by surprise, but he wasn't about to object. Kian allowed his own hands to wander, feeling the muscles of Kevin's arms and shoulders, working his way down Kevin's back until he reached his firm ass. It was Kevin's turn to gasp.

Kevin allowed his hands to move lower until they covered the swelling package between Kian's legs. "Oh god, Kev," Kian groaned at the touch. Kevin looked down and could see a large tent forming in Kian's jeans. He licked his lips. Kian grinned. "Want to see what's down there?" he asked huskily.

Kevin nodded, reaching for the button of Kian's jeans. He pushed the jeans down revealing bulging black boxer briefs. Kevin gasped slightly and sank to his knees. He inhaled the male scent before spreading his lips over the stretched material and straining tool. He sucked, feeling Kian's cock twitch at the contact. He could taste the salty precum already soaking through the cotton. All Kian could do was lean against the door for balance.

Kevin reached up and hauled down the boxer briefs, sitting back to stare at the giant cyclops waving at him. Not that he'd seen many cocks, but Kevin had seen enough to know that Kian was huge! He reached out to grasp the shaft and his long, lean fingers didn't quite reach completely around. The throbbing head was even larger. Kevin leaned in for a taste, swiping his tongue over the slit and around the edge of the head.

Kian groaned loudly. "Geez, Kevin!"

Kevin didn't know if he could, but he was going to try to taste all of Kian. He opened his mouth and gradually moved forward, swallowing Kian's giant rod. Kevin could feel his cheeks stretch, but kept going until he had to breathe. He let Kian slide out of his mouth and took a few deep breaths before trying again, this time making it to the golden hairs which tickled his nose.

"Oh yeah, Kevin. Wow. No one has done that in so long!" Kian whispered, clearly in ecstasy.

Kevin continued his movement, moving back and forth quickly until he sensed Kian was getting close. Kevin grabbed Kian's ass, using it as leverage so he could completely swallow the hard, pulsing tool. He pulled back and teased the head. Kevin felt Kian's ass tighten and pulled back until only the head was in his mouth. Kian gasped, "Oh god, oh, god!" as his cock finally erupted into Kevin's warm mouth. He shot load after load and Kevin greedily swallowed it all, savoring the taste. It had been a long time since he'd had anything so good.

Finally the intense orgasm subsided and Kian sank to the floor, kneeling in front of Kevin. Kevin leaned forward and kissed his passionately. Kian tasted his own cum on Kevin's lips.

Kian looked intently at Kevin. "Now what about you?" he asked softly.

Kevin knew what he wanted, but was afraid to ask. Kian read his face. "Will you make love to me?" he asked softly. Kevin's face lit up and he nodded.

Kian pulled Kevin off the floor and led him to the couch. He pulled Kevin's jeans and boxers off and gently shoved Kevin down. Kian knelt between Kevin's legs and looked at the throbbing cock before him. Kian knew he'd need some help. He reached for the bottle of lube. He opened the lube and squeezed some onto his hand. He rubbed his hands together before grabbing Kevin's rod in his slippery fingers. Kevin gasped. Kian ran his hands lightly up and down the shaft before reaching the head. He ran his finger over and over the end until the entire cock glistened in the dull light. He stood, handed the lube to Kevin, and turned around.

"Care to help me out," he asked over his shoulder. Kevin grinned and took some of the grease. He massaged it around Kian's opening before inserting one of his long fingers deeply inside. Kian's entire body spasmed, and his ass tightened, clenching Kevin's finger. He worked the finger around inside, before adding a second. Kian was in ecstasy, but wanted more.

He moved away from Kevin's hand. Turning to face Kevin, he straddled him, placing his knees on the couch either side. Slowly he lowered his ass onto Kevin's hard, erect tool. Kevin used his hand to guide his cock deep into Kian. Kian gasped at the first entry. He breathed deeply until fullness and the promise of more replaced the momentary pain. Kian lowered himself until Kevin was all the way inside his ass. Kian sighed at the intense feeling; he was impaled and it was heaven. He looked down at Kevin, pleased to see the pleasure Kevin was obviously feeling.

Kevin's cock was being massaged by Kian's channel. It was firm and tight, unlike anything Kevin had experienced. Kian began to move, raising and lowering himself, using the back of the couch for balance. Kevin's body was bombarded by sensations as the air hit his cock when Kian moved up, then encased by heat as he moved down. Kevin began his own movement, finding a rhythm, thrusting up to meet Kian coming down. This let him penetrate Kian even deeper. Kevin began to thrust quicker as he felt his balls tighten. Kian could sense Kevin was nearing orgasm and stopped moving, steeling his body about half way up. Kevin was forced to thrust higher, lifting his ass off the couch. As his hips dropped, he almost pulled out of Kian completely. He thrust again and again.

One final thrust and he began to cum. Kian felt the first jolt of searing juice inside and sank down, swallowing Kevin's cock with his body. He lowered his mouth and kissed Kevin passionately, while Kevin continued to fire volley after volley deep inside him.

As the orgasm passed, Kian gently kissed Kevin's lips realizing they were trembling slightly. Kian cupped Kevin's face in his strong hands. "Are you okay?" he asked so tenderly Kevin felt tears well up in his eyes despite his nod.

Kian swung his leg over Kevin, sighing softly as Kevin pulled out of him. He grabbed one of the blankets and sat down beside Kevin on the couch, pulling Kevin to him and wrapping the blanket around their naked bodies.

A while later Kevin broke the silence. "That was … incredible," he whispered. "I can't believe I have such strong feelings for you after such a short time. It's …" Kevin stopped, not sure how to put it.

"Frightening? Exhilarating?" Kian supplied.

Kevin nodded. "Both, I guess." He paused before finally broaching the subject they'd avoided the night before. "What are we going to do?" he asked softly.

Kian ran his hand through Kevin's hair. "I don't know Kev." He sighed. "I wish I had the answer. Our lives are so different. Maybe…" Kian could feel his insides clench at the thought he was having.

"Maybe what?" Kevin asked, dreading hearing what Kian was going to say, but needing to know. He sat forward so he could look at Kian. "Maybe what, Kian?" he asked again.

Kian blinked back tears and looked directly at Kevin. "Maybe we should end it before it goes any further," he said quietly.

Kevin pulled himself out of Kian's arms, as Kian knew he would. "What?"

"Kevin, I do love you, despite only knowing you for four days. But it isn't fair to either of us. You're going to be travelling all over the world, touring, recording your new album, and I'm going to be here, teaching until June, then starting again in September." Kian let the tears run down his face, unable to stop them. "How can any relationship survive that? No matter how much we love each other; no matter how much we want it to work."

Kevin turned to look out the window. He heard what Kian had said and knew it was true. It was nearly impossible to make a relationship work with the type of schedule he had. But was he willing to give up without a fight? Kian obviously was. He heard Kian walk up behind him.

He tensed when he felt Kian put his hands on his shoulders. Then he collapsed back against the powerful chest behind him. He could feel the tears streaking down his face. "Are you willing to just let us go? Forget about these past four days?" Kevin asked softly, the hurt apparent in his voice. Kian held Kevin tightly to him and rested his head on Kevin's shoulder.

"Kev, I will never forget about these four days, ever," Kian whispered. "But can you say with 100% certainty that you can commit to a monogamous relationship right now despite the fact that we may not see each other for months at a time?" Kian turned Kevin around so he could see Kevin's blue-green eyes. "Despite my feelings for you, I don't think I can make that kind of promise right now. And don't you think it would be worse to make promises only to break them a couple of months from now? I want us to be friends Kev, for now. I want to talk to you on the phone, send you goofy email and visit once in a while, get to know you better. Maybe in the future, if our lives change, we can be more." Kevin watched and listened to Kian. Everything he said made sense but it didn't stop the hurt. He could see that Kian wasn't going to change his mind. Kevin needed time to think. He'd opened his heart and now it felt like it was being sucked right out of his chest.

He looked at Kian and saw real pain there. But his own pain was too great. "I can't be your friend, Kian," he said harshly and brushed past the taller man and walked out the door.

Kevin walked downstairs and found the manager. He told him to arrange for his transportation, today. He needed to leave for Montreal immediately. The manager made the arrangements and told Kevin he could leave in an hour. Kevin walked back over to the large picture window and stared blindly out at the ice-encrusted world. He looked down at the window bench where everything had started four days ago. The pain had become a dull but constant ache.

After Kevin left, Kian stood staring out the window. What had he just done? He'd let the one person he'd ever loved walk out the door. He looked absently around the room. He had to get out of there before Kevin came back. He knew he'd been right. He'd never find anyone to replace Kevin but he didn't want to risk having Kevin betray him while touring around the world. Or worse, betray him then lie about it. If he saw Kevin right now, he'd beg for forgiveness, and that wouldn't help the reality of the situation. Kian grabbed his suitcase and shoved his belongings inside. Taking one last, quick look around he left the suite and walked up the stairs to return to his own room. It would be cold, but it was only for one more night.

Kevin finally left the window and walked back to his suite. He needed to pack. While secretly hoping Kian would still be there, he wasn't surprised to find him gone. Kevin knew he'd hurt him. Instead of having at least some communication, Kevin had severed all contact. He momentarily thought about finding Kian and apologizing, but knew he'd beg Kian to change his mind. He knew it wouldn't work. Maybe it was better this way.

Kevin quickly packed up his stuff in his suitcase and duffel bag. He looked around the room. Just as he was about to leave, he noticed something on the floor by the couch. He walked over and found the small maple leaf pin that had been on Kian's suitcase. Kevin picked it up and put it in his pocket. He knew he should give it to the manager to give to Kian, but he couldn't. It was the only real thing he had to remind him.

Back downstairs, the manager escorted Kevin outside to a waiting skidoo with a small trailer. He put his luggage in the trailer and climbed on behind the driver. Without a chance to second-guess himself, the skidoo pulled away. Kevin forced himself not to look back.

Kian was looking out the window of his small room when he saw the tall dark haired man walk outside with his luggage and put it into the trailer. He watched him climb onto the skidoo. Tears fell unchecked down his face as he looked away, unwilling to watch the love of his life disappear.

Six months later

Kevin shook himself out of his daydream and looked over at Howie. He could see the look of concern on his face and smiled at his friend.

"Sorry, D. just thinking about things," Kevin said quietly as the limousine continued along the highway taking the group to an afternoon performance at Disney Land. Howie continued to watch Kevin. He knew Kevin was still thinking about the man he'd met in Quebec. He'd never stopped. When the group had met up in Montreal, Howie tried to talk to Kevin about it, but quickly realized things weren't right. Kevin refused to discuss it. He told the rest of the band that he was gay, and then he withdrew into himself for a while. Then he got angry. He couldn't take his anger out on the man responsible but fortunately there was a deserving target readily available, Lou. They had finally filed a lawsuit in May, a couple of months after Brian's heart surgery. It had been a rough few months and the lawsuit hadn't been settled yet.

Kevin had finally confided in Howie about what happened in Quebec. He wasn't angry anymore as he realized Kian had been right. But despite everything, Kevin still loved him. He'd even been working on a song, Back to your Heart, about his feelings.

Howie decided to try to get Kevin thinking about other things. "Hey Kev, my high school music teacher called me and wondered if I would go talk to some of his classes. Wanna come? It might be fun. Hey, maybe we'll discover the next Howie D?" he joked.

Kevin grinned. He knew what Howie was doing and appreciated it. "Sure D. why not? When you going?"

Kevin and Howie talked about his old high school and made plans for when they would visit. Howie was going to stop by the school the next afternoon to make final arrangements. They would be in Orlando for another few weeks while the lawsuit was in the courts. They had started working on the new album and would do some work on it before going to Sweden to finish recording.

They arrived at the park and began preparations for the concert. The performance went off without a problem. During the last song, Kevin looked out over the audience of mostly young teenage girls. At the very back of the crowd he could see a very tall blonde man, watching them perform. Kevin almost forgot his lines as he strained his eyes, trying to see the face that was so far away. The man disappeared in the crowd and Kevin forced his attention back to the stage. The song ended and they ran off stage.

Howie quickly walked over to Kevin. "You okay, Kev? What happened?" Howie had noticed Kevin's momentary loss of focus.

Kevin shook his head. "Nothing. I thought I saw someone, but…" Kevin just looked at Howie. Howie nodded in understanding. He wished he could help Kevin get over this man Kian. He and Nick had both tried to fix him up with people. Sometimes he would go out with the person but never more than once. Howie finished changing and waited for everyone else. The limo dropped them off at their homes.

The next day was a free day. Nick was going to spend it with his little brother Aaron so Howie was going to do some shopping before going to the high school to talk to Ray, his former teacher.

He arrived at the school incognito, a baseball hat and tinted glasses. He always smiled to himself when he put the disguise on, feeling like Clark Kent and Superman, amazed at how few people recognized him. School was just ending for the day, so Howie waited outside the music room until all the students left. Finally, he walked into the room.

"Hey Mr. McCleary!" he said with a smile. It had been a long time since he'd been in that room. Ray McCleary was packing up his briefcase and turned to look.

"Howard Dorough, good to see you," he said, smiling and walking over to shake Howie's hand. "And since you're no longer a student, call me Ray."

Howie nodded. "As long as you call me Howie," he said with a grin.

"Deal. Want to walk with me? I have to go to the auditorium for auditions. We're planning on putting on a musical production so the new drama teacher and I have to find some students who can sing and act."

Howie fell into step beside Ray. "I decided to accept your invitation to talk to some of the students," Howie began. "I even roped in one of my bandmates to come with me."

"That's great Howie. The students will be stunned when you walk in. Who else is coming?" he asked as they turned a corner before entering the school's theatre.

"I invited Kevin Richardson. I thought about inviting Nick Carter, but thought that might create too much of a mob," Howie said, not adding that he was afraid people would see how they feel about each other.

There was about one hundred kids milling around on and off the stage. Singing auditions were to go first so Ray had to get everyone organized. "Want to hang out and watch for a while?" he asked Howie.


"Okay, hang on a second." Ray walked over to another teacher standing by the stage and talked to him for a minute. Both men walked back to Howie. "Howie, this is the new drama teacher Kian Lareau. Kian, Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys." Ray finished the introduction then turned back to deal with a scuffle on the stage between two students.

As soon as Howie heard the name, his expression changed to one of shock. Ray never noticed as he went back to the front. Kian did and his own eyes widened in surprise.

"You know who I am?" he asked quietly.

Howie slumped down into one of the chairs. Kian sat beside him. "Yeah, I know who you are," Howie replied. Kian was surprised at the hint of bitterness in his voice. "Why are you here? Haven't you done enough to him?" The question was asked sadly, not in anger.

Kian shook his head in confusion. "He's the one who severed all connections. I wanted to stay in touch. I wanted to be friends," he finished softly.

Howie looked at him sharply. "Friends? He loves you!" he said tersely.

"And I love him," Kian said. Howie could hear the truth of that statement. "I was wrong, but he walked away and never looked back. I'm not about to beg and have it thrown in my face." Kian was defensive now.

He'd known the Backstreet Boys were based in Orlando, but figured the city was large enough that he would never accidentally see Kevin. He would only see him from afar when he went to a concert. He just wanted to make sure Kevin was okay.

Howie looked at Kian thoughtfully. "He's never got over you, ya know. I've managed to force him out on a couple of dates, but he's never gone out with the same guy twice."

Kian looked up in surprise. "I didn't know," he said softly. "How has he been, really?" he asked.

Howie sighed and wondered how much he should say. "At first, he withdrew into himself. He wouldn't go out, only did what was required and that was all. Then he became angry. But he took his anger out on the right person," Howie paused.

"Lou," Kian said quietly.

Howie nodded. "We've been so busy working on the lawsuit, then dealing with Brian's surgery, doing promotions and interviews around the world, Kevin's managed to keep busy and distracted. But when there's nothing to do, he is sad and lonely." Howie looked at Kian again. "What are you planning to do?"

Kian sighed. "I don't know. You say he still loves me, but would he forgive me? I know I hurt him; I hurt myself. I came here because a friend told me about the job opening and I wanted a change. Yeah, I knew you guys lived here. But I never thought I'd meet up with you. I may have hoped to see Kevin, but never expected it." Kian looked over at Howie. "You're the one he called from the lodge, aren't you?" Howie nodded. "So what do you think I should do?"

Howie looked up at the front of the auditorium and watched a girl sing. "If he forgives you, would you do the same thing again, next time we have to go on tour, or leave to record an album?" Howie asked without looking at Kian.

"No," Kian said so softly, Howie turned to look at him. "Even if I only see him one day a year, it would still be better than what I have now. I know that I will never love another man, the way I love him." Kian looked down at the floor, forcing the tears back.

Howie put his hand on Kian's shoulder. "I think we could do better than one day a year," he said with a compassionate smile.

Kian smiled weakly. "So now what?"

Howie thought about it for a minute. "Give me your phone number and I'll call you. I have an idea, but I have to think it through more." Kian nodded and wrote down his number, handing it to Howie. "Okay, I'll call you in a day or so, Kian," Howie said as he stood up. He held out his hand and Kian shook it. "In the meantime, try not to show up at any concerts. You really messed Kevin's concentration up yesterday." Kian looked surprised and Howie grinned. "I didn't see you, but Kevin saw some tall blonde guy at the back of the crowd and tried to get a better look."

Kian smiled back at the younger man. "Thank you Howie, for being there for Kevin and giving me a chance."

Howie walked to the front of the theatre to say goodbye to Ray. "I have to go, Ray, but I'll see you next Tuesday okay?"

Ray smiled at his former student. "Sounds good, Howie, see you then."

Howie quickly walked out of the school and to his car. He was going to have to fill Nick in on everything if his plan was going to work.

Later that evening Howie and Nick were sitting on the couch just listening to some music. Nick was telling Howie about what he and Aaron had done.

Nick finally looked at his lover. "You're quiet tonight babe. Something wrong?" he asked, picking up Howie's hand from the couch.

Howie smiled gently at Nick. "Do you know how much I love you?"

Nick grinned and leaned forward to kiss Howie's full lips. "Almost as much as I love you?" Nick whispered. Howie giggled and pulled Nick against his chest. Nick snuggled close and let his hand softly rub Howie's chest. "Talk to me," he said quietly.

Howie sighed. "Do you remember, back in January when Kevin was trapped by the ice storm and he called me?" Nick nodded against Howie. "Well he was calling because he had met someone and was confused. He confided in me that the person was a man." Nick stopped moving his hand for a second as he processed that information, but then resumed the motion. "Kevin had fallen hard for this guy but both of them were too stubborn. I don't know exactly what was said, but Kian wanted to stay in touch and be friends, and Kevin refused."

Nick raised his head. "Kian?"

Howie ran his hand through Nick's blonde locks. 'Yeah, that's the guy's name." Nick returned his head to the muscled pillow and Howie continued. "Anyway, you know that since then, Kevin hasn't been himself. He does everything he's supposed to, but he always looks sad." Again, Nick nodded. He had noticed that about Kevin too. "He and I have talked some and he's never stopped loving Kian. He regrets that he walked out the way he did, but doesn't know what to do about it." Howie sighed again. "I went to my high school today to talk with Ray. Remember I mentioned that to you? Well, if you believe in fate or coincidences, this was a big one. The new drama teacher at my old school is one Kian Lareau."

At that information Nick sat up and stared at Howie. "No shit?" Howie had to laugh.

He leaned forward and kissed Nick. "Yeah, love, no shit!" Nick giggled. "I had the chance to talk to him and he feels the same way about Kevin. He knows he made a mistake and still loves him." Nick didn't even ask if maybe this guy was only after their growing fame. He trusted Howie with his life and knew Howie was a good judge of people. "So, I want to arrange it so they can at least talk things through. Maybe work it out. If not, at least put it behind them."

Nick nodded his agreement. "That's a good idea, babe."

Howie smiled. "Glad you agree, because I need your help." Howie told Nick about his plan and Nick agreed to it immediately. Howie called Kian and told him part of the plan. The part that he needed to worry about.

The next few days went by quickly. Howie managed to keep Nick from revealing what was going on, although there were a couple of close calls. Nick was just excited about helping out Kevin. Tuesday finally arrived.

Howie and Kevin were scheduled to go to the high school at noon and spend about three hours there, talking to different classes. Howie called one of their regular limo drivers and filled him in on part of the plan, eliciting a promise of secrecy. The limo picked up Kevin and they were off to the school.

The afternoon went as planned. Before the end of the last group, Howie suggested that maybe they could sing something for the students. Kevin looked at him in surprise. They had never discussed that. Howie just grinned and pulled out a CD.

"This is still only a rough version, but it's actually a song that Kevin has written with some help from his cousin. Its called Back to Your Heart. Since Kevin knows the lyrics, I'll let him sing it and just sing backup." Howie walked over to a CD player. They were in the theatre. The class was small, about thirty students, who were taking up the first few rows of seats. Kevin and Howie were sitting on stools in front of the stage, deciding the stage was too high for the intimate atmosphere.

Howie looked at his watch then over at Kevin. "You ready to sing man?" Kevin gave Howie a dirty look at being ambushed, then smiled and nodded. Howie began the music. He returned to his seat as Kevin began to sing. Howie looked to the back of the theatre and saw the tall figure walk in. Kevin was looking at the floor as he got the feel for the song.

Fortunately, it was on the chorus when he looked up and saw the blonde man sitting about ten rows back. His voice stumbled but Howie covered for him. Kevin managed to finish the song without looking past the first three rows of seats. He wondered if he was hallucinating. The students applauded and Ray thanked them for coming. Howie grabbed the CD and quickly followed Kevin who began walking directly to the door. The limo was waiting for them since word of their presence would be completely through the school.

Kevin stepped into the limo with his eyes closed, and slumped back against the seat. Howie followed him in.

"Hello Kevin," a deep sexy voice said quietly. Kevin's eyes flew open and he saw a blonde god sitting across from him.

Kevin felt panic surging through him. How did Kian get here? Why was he here? Kevin looked at Howie who was sitting quietly watching him.

"I thought you two needed to talk. Both of you are too damn stubborn and neither was about to make the first move, so I made it for you," Howie stated. He reached for the door. "So, now you have the next three hours to figure out what you both want," he said as he climbed out of the car. He quickly shut the door and banged on the hood. The power door locks clicked and the car began to move. Howie walked over to where Nick was waiting in his jeep.

Kevin was too stunned to move. He saw the look of surprise on Kian's face at Howie's actions. Kian looked out the window as the car moved. This was not part of the plan. Howie had set him up. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He hadn't wanted to force Kevin into a confrontation; he just wanted to talk. Neither man said a word for a long time. They each stared out of their respective windows, slyly catching the reflection of the other in the tinted glass.

"Why are you here?" Kevin asked softly, breaking the silence.

Kian looked over at Kevin and smiled weakly. "I teach at the school," he replied. Silence again. Kian suddenly realized that he was wasting a chance to apologize to Kevin and start over.

"Kevin, I…"

"Kian, I…"

They both spoke at the same time and laughed softly. Kevin nodded, allowing Kian to go first.

"Kevin, I'm sorry. I didn't even give us a chance. I was too afraid and …" Kevin quickly moved across the limo floor to where Kian was sitting. He shook his head and Kian stopped talking.

"Kian, why are you apologizing? I'm the one that left, without a goodbye, without a note. I was a fool to say no to your friendship." Kevin looked intently into Kian's amber colored eyes. "Maybe we could try to be friends now?" he asked hesitantly. Kevin wanted Kian in his life anyway he could, and if that meant only as friends, so be it.

Kian matched Kevin's gaze. Without wavering, he answered him. "I don't want to be friends," he said. Kevin swallowed and fought back the tears. He began to look away. Kian reached up and grabbed his chin, forcing his eyes back to Kian's. "I don't want to be just your friend, I want to love you." Kian's voice had turned husky. "I do love you. I've never stopped."

Kevin remembered to breathe and reached up to stroke Kian's cheek. His eyes never left Kian's. Kevin could read the love there, and sighed. "I love you too, Kian. I'm so sorry I hurt you." Kian raised his hand and put his finger over Kevin's mouth.

"We both have much to apologize for Kev, but it can wait," Kian said softly. Kevin nodded his agreement and leaned in to meet Kian's lips.

The kiss was as good as their first if not better; this one had been earned through tears and loneliness. They held each other tightly, not wanting to let go; too afraid they would wake up and it would be a dream. Kian sat back and pulled Kevin into his arms. Kevin realized that he'd finally found what he needed to fill the empty hole in his heart, and he would never be alone again.

Song Lyrics are from Backstreet Boys, their first CD released in Canada.