Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 22:35:40 -0600 From: Lee McDougal Subject: "If you Were to Hold Me" chapter 8 Hey do you guys remember me, or my story? I hope so. I know it's been a long time, but I really needed the break, and now hopefully I'll get back on the ball. ? Here's a new chapter for you, and I'll start working on the next one too! Oh...and if you don't like soap operas...well you might not enjoy this chapter...LOL Email me at leo1980@gay.com And the site address is http://home.gay.com/leo1980 IF YOU WERE TO HOLD ME Chapter 8 The next few days were like a whirlwind. I was making my first appearance on MTV. It was a short interview for MTV News. They premiered my video. And apparently it made it to number 10 on TRL the next day. I was surprised...I thought it would be too risky for main stream. But I was glad all the same. Even though I was never really in the closet, but to the media world...I came out. Just as I thought I got a couple of offers to do talk shows. I did go on a couple-like the Rosie O'Donnel show. I was also spending more and more time with the girl's and their dad. He seems to be a really great guy. He has decided to tag along for the rest of the tour. Blake and I are getting along okay...but the honeymoon phase is over. We just seem to go to sleep at night lately. But I was pretty sure once we got a few days off...we could change that. Days off... what is that again? I spent the rest of the week promoting my CD. It will be out at the end of the month. I was so excited. I was scheduled to do a photo shot for it this Friday. And in other news...the date has been set in stone for the show. It'll be in 2 weeks from Friday. I've been meeting with the band the last few days...and they already can play most of the songs well. But with me there they could play with my voice, and that makes a difference. We would be able to put on a good show. Brian really enjoyed playing with the guys, and it was great to see Linda. She was a little piece of home...away from home. The few days off we all needed were finally coming. We would get Friday through Sunday off. The whole weekend was ours for the taking. I had already decided that Blake and I needed to use this time to finally just be ourselves and have some fun. It would be great! I met the girls in there room Thursday night after the show. I wanted to check what their plans were. I really didn't want to ignore them all weekend...but I was hoping they had plans. "So what are you girl's doing this weekend?" I asked them. "We are going with Dad to the lake. He rented a cabin for us! It'll be fun." Emerald said happily. "Yes, it's a great spot in Alabama actually. It's called Lake Cheau. (I have never been there myself...but the lake was suggested by a friend. :-).) We were wondering if you and Blake wanted to go?" Ruby asked me. "I don't think so. We really need to spend some time alone. If you know what I mean. Why don't you invite your boys?" I asked them. "Do you really think we need to bring our boyfriends to spend a weekend with our daddy...in a cabin?" Emerald asked me. "I see your point. That would be really awkward. Oh well, I'm going to make some plans with Blake. Make sure to come by my room before you take off." I gave them both a hug, and I headed for the room I'm sharing with Blake. Brian met me in the hall before I made it to my room though. So I decided to see what he and the guys were up to this weekend. I knew they would have plans...those guys are always on the move it seems. "Hey buddy, how's it going?" I asked Brian "I'm great. I was just coming to see what you were doing for the weekend." He told me. "Well, I am hoping to spend some quality time with Blake." I said with a smile. "Ah...I see." Brian looked a little disappointed. "What's a matter Brian?" I asked him. "Nothing, it's just that we have been spending the weekends together lately. I was hoping we could do something fun for a change. Like maybe go out dancing...or something." He told me. "Well, it wouldn't be much fun dancing with girls...and for now you can't risk going to a gay bar. But how about this...I promise to spend my next off day with ya dear." I told him. That made him smile, and he gave me a big hug. "Thanks man, you're the best. I guess I'll just go with the guys back to Orlando. They are going to do some stuff like...make sure their houses are still there..." Brian was so cute when he was trying to be funny. "Well, I'm going to make sure Blake hasn't made plans to fly off to another country!" I laughed and waved good bye to Brian. When I was walking into my room, I sensed something was wrong. There before me was a sight I really didn't need to see. Kevin and Blake were...they were.... No...that can't be. Kevin's straight...and Married. "Noooo!" I screamed and the tears wouldn't hold back. I ran from the room. "Anthony! Come back...it wasn't what you think. Come back..."Blake screamed. I ran to the only place I knew to go...the girl's room. I was hoping maybe they could explain to me...what I couldn't understand. I pounded on the door. Blake was coming this way...soon the door opened and I rushed in locking it behind me. "What's wrong Tony?" Ruby said. Taking me into a hug. "They were...kissing." I said...and fell on the bed crying. "You mean Blake and Kevin?" Emerald asked. She was crying too. "Yes, how did you know?" I asked her. "Oh babe I'm sorry, but I promised AJ, I wouldn't say anything. But since you already know...I'll tell you everything. Kevin's bisexual. And since his wife can't come along on tour...he tends to fool around with guys. On the weekends when you were working away from Blake, Kevin and him would get together. It was just sex, no emotions...but it was still wrong. And I feel like shit for not telling you. But I couldn't. Please forgive me?" Emerald said crying. "You didn't do anything wrong Emerald. It was Blake. How could he say he loves me, and then sleep with Kevin? I give up...it's too hard. Maybe some guys are just meant to be single." With that said...I really started crying. Both the girls held me. "What we are going to do is...have a girl's weekend." Ruby declared. "Plus one gay guy, and a dad!" Emerald reminded her. "I don't think I'd be much fun this weekend." I told them. "Don't sweat it. At least you'll be away from what's hurting you." Ruby stated. "I guess so. I need to talk to Brian..." I knew he would want to know I was going with the Girls. "You take it easy and rest a while. We'll go tell Brian. Just go to sleep. You're exhausted. Actually I'll tell him, and Ruby you stay here with Tony." Emerald said. At Brian and AJ's room: "Well, what are we going to do about this guys? We can't let Blake and Kevin just get of Scott free for the pain the caused Tony." Emerald stated. "I know babe...that was really low. Kevin's always been a great guy, I don't know what he was thinking." AJ stated. "My cousin wasn't thinking. Well at least not with his Brain. Tony's a great guy. He deserves better than this." Brian told them. "Agreed, I think we should get Blake fired. That way Blake gets his, and Kevin looses his fuck buddy." Emerald suggested. "No that's to easy. I have an idea, but it'll take some time." AJ stated. "I still can't believe he lied to Tony...and let him believe he wrote that poem." Emerald stated again. "Yeah, Brian, now's your chance with Tony. Just don't rush him of course." AJ suggested. "I know guys, but I have to wait and make sure that things are really over between him and Blake." Brian told them. I couldn't sleep. I told Ruby I was going to for a walk. She protested at first. But eventually she gave in. I just needed to clear my head. It was around 1 in the morning...and I wasn't sleepy at all. I walked along the hallway of the hotel...then got on the elevator, and rode to the second floor where the pool was. I walked down the stairs to the pool. I didn't have a bathing suit with me, but then again I didn't really want to get in. I just wanted to set by the water, and maybe put my feet in. I took my shoes off, and set by the water. Soon I had my feet in the cool water. Even when I was a kid, I loved to do that. Just relax...and watch the water. It was very calming. "What will I do now?" I stated out loud. "You could let me try to explain." Blake said setting down beside me suddenly. "What's to explain Blake, you slept with Kevin. Emerald told me the whole thing. What the hell were you thinking? How could you betray me like that? Didn't you love me?" I asked him. "Yes, I did love you. I still do. But Kevin was so hard to resist...I did the best I could. I turned him down a lot." He defended. "Why didn't you continue to turn him down?" I asked with a few more tears running down my face. I really didn't want to cry in front of him. "Cause he kept trying, and he would even get naked in front of me...he'd grab my crotch. Do just about anything to get my attention. It was just to much for me to resist." He told me. "And if I was to give you a second chance...what makes you think you could resist this time?" I asked him. "I don't know...but I know I'll try! Cause I love you Tony." He told me. "I love you too Blake, but I can't trust you. And what you did was wrong...if he was tempting you. You should have left, or told him to leave. You should have told me what he was trying to do to you. Then I could have stopped it. Brian and I together would have been able to sway Kevin. But instead you let it go on...cause you enjoyed it. You enjoyed the attention, and the danger of it. You got off on the fact it was wrong didn't you?" I asked him with anger flowing through my veins. "Yes. I did enjoy it." He stated and started crying. "Well, enjoy your swim too." I said. Getting up. "What do you mean?" He asked following me. "This." I said pushing him in to the pool. Darn and he had on one of his nicer suits. With that I had more peace of mind. I wasn't happy by any means...I was still heart broken. But I was at ease enough to sleep. The next morning would be here all too soon. What was supposed to be a romantic weekend for Blake and I had turned rotten. I just had to try not to ruin the girl's weekend as well. "Wake up Tony. It's time to get moving. I went down to your room and got your stuff. Go grab a shower and we'll go pick up dad and head for the airport." Emerald told me. I got up, and headed for the shower. I really didn't wanna go on this trip. But staying here crying over Blake wouldn't be any better. That's always the confusing part...I'd be crying cause I didn't have him. When it was me that called things off. Well obviously it wasn't me that made him sleep around, but it was my call to end it. It should be him crying his eyes out. But he's probably just cuddled up with Kevin. Who is licking his wounds, among other things! Okay, going on tour with him and Kevin both was not going to be easy now. Luckily the tour is almost over. And then hopefully I'll start my own tour. I washed all over, and realized...maybe this isn't so bad. After all, at least I found out now. It could have been worse. I could have found out a few years down the road that he's a prick. So with that realization and a whole lot of ignoring my pain...I was able to finish my shower. Soon I got out, and walked into the room to my suitcase. Emerald was whistling at me...but I just ignored her. If she didn't want to see me nude, she could have left. Soon I was dressed in my clothes. Nothing fancy, just comfortable. A red tee shirt, and a pair of blue jeans. So I packed up my clothes from the bathroom. And closed my bag. I was off on another trip. Where was this one going to take me? After stopping by Rodney's room, we headed out to the car. We drove quickly towards the airport. Actually Emerald was driving very fast. We must have been running late, because she was doing 80 in a 60 zone. Or maybe she just had a need for speed. Either way...I was glad that soon we'd be gone far away from that hotel...I guess that hotel was now a hated thing in my mind. It was the place where a dream died. As we loaded onto the plane, I took a seat with Ruby. It had been a while since we set by each other, but it was nice. I really missed her, I guess I wasn't much of a friend with Blake around all the time. "Ruby, I'm sorry I haven't been hanging out with you much lately. I guess I just got lost in work, and Blake. I hope you can forgive me." I asked of her. "Don't worry babe, I know how that goes. I've been spending a lot of time with Howie too. But we both just have to remember...friends come before boyfriends. Agreed?" She asked. "Agreed!" I smiled at her. As the plane took off...Emerald clung to her Dad... Doesn't she ever get used to flying? Oh well, guess not. There was some turbulence on the way...and Emerald really bugged out then. "I told you she'd do that. Look at her. Her face is almost white..." Ruby was rolling at the fear in her face. Sisters are so nice to each other. "You shouldn't pick on her like that...even though it is funny as hell." I admitted. "Shit, you know she'd do the same thing...given the chance. Emerald, I think I saw the wing catch on fire." Ruby told her sister. "Real funny..." With that she started hurling in to the barf bag. SEXY! The in-flight movie was American pie! Can you believe it? The one thing that could possibly cheer me up- "Suck me beautiful!" The rest of the flight was uneventful, but it was nice to talk with Ruby. She caught me up to date with things with her and the boys. Apparently her and Howie are getting much closer, and Howie is talking about settling down lately. Wonder how that could ever work out? Maybe if one or both of them gave up there music career. That's the only way it could work out. Oh well, it's their lives. I have no love life...so I don't have to worry about such things. I'll just put my music first for now. And when that plays out, perhaps I'll look for love again. Yes that's my best bet. After all, I truly love the music. Soon we landed in Birmingham airport, and headed for the lake. We'd be there in a few hours. I laid my head on Ruby's shoulder and took a nap. I woke up around an hour or so later, when we stopped at a grocery store to pick up the stuff we needed for the weekend. I wasn't a lot of help. I was getting stuff like chips, and dip...you know unhealthy stuff...to drown my sorrows in. But the girls and Rodney got the goods all the same. Soon we were loaded up and back on the road. We made it to the cabin a little while later. I helped bring in the groceries. And we stocked the shelves and the fridge. I didn't really know what there was to do there...and was sure I didn't feel like doing anything anyway. So I just went to my room, and went back to sleep. I don't know how long I slept but I didn't wake to the next morning, and to my surprise I wasn't alone. I knew who it was; it was my favorite bed buddy...well of the female species anyway. My very own jewel...my Ruby. She was like the sister I never had...not sure if I wanted her or not, but I'm glad I had her now. She had cuddled into me while I was asleep, and it felt good. So I ran my hand through her hair, and tried to sleep a bit more. But I knew better than that, I had to get up...I couldn't sleep the whole trip. I thought I'd let Ruby get a bit more sleep, so I rolled out from under her. I got out of bed, and headed for the bathroom. I needed another shower, and to do some other stuff... HEY THIS PART IS PRIVATE EVERYONE OUT! After I finished in the bathroom I walked into the kitchen to see what I could find to eat. I was glad we did the shopping yesterday. I certainly didn't want to eat fish the whole weekend. I don't even like fish...and for that matter I don't think anyone brought any fishing equipment anyway. Of course they could have brought a boat on the plane yesterday and I wouldn't have noticed it. I made some eggs, and put some biscuits in the oven. Soon there was enough breakfast to feed the four of us...or at least I hoped. Ruby was the first to join me at the table. "Hey Tony, how are you feeling today?" She asked. "Much better, I just needed to rest. The tour and the whole Blake thing are enough to drive me crazy. But I feel much better now. I don't know why, but I'm not really that upset. I think it is because I'm surrounded by so many people that care about me. It makes it a lot easier." I told her. "Yes, and lord knows there are other guys out there...better guys out there." Ruby told me. "I know dear, and there's really only one of them that interests me right now. But I'll just keep that to myself for now." I winked at her. "Oh...that is interesting. It's not a boy band member is it???" She questioned. "I'm not telling you anything...give it up!" I love keeping her in suspense. "Well, I'll to you what...one of them likes you." Emerald threw out as she walked into the kitchen. "Yes, and lord can he sing." Ruby threw in with a laugh. "That's enough of that girls...let Anthony get over his fall, before you put him on another horse." Rodney said finally arriving. "Oh daddy I didn't say anything about his size..." Emerald joked. "Girl if you mama heard you say that...she'd flip." Rodney said. "Not really, she'd probably just laugh. She's changed a lot Daddy." Ruby told him. "Why haven't you gone to see her daddy?" Emerald asked. "I guess I'm just nervous. It's a lot to take you know...rediscovering a whole life...that you forgot...a long time ago. I'll go after this weekend, if that'll make my girls happy." He said. I don't know why, but I got a twinge, or like a vibration of some sort when he said that. Something was wrong here. I had thought this whole story was to far out...but was I just being paranoid? "Come on girls we are going to go for a ride on my friend Stan's boat. He left it here for us." He told them. "Come go with us Tony." Emerald invited. "No I think I'll stay here." I told them. I'm not psychic by any means, but something told me to stay and to do some looking around. I had a terrible headache, and the closer I got to Rodney's room the worse it got. I knew I would find what I was looking for there. When I was sure they were gone and out of sight, I entered the room. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I knew it was here. I opened his drawers and I found it...just what I was afraid of. It was his identification...Ray Arnold...that was the girls last name, but that wasn't the same first name...that he was supposed to have. I took the card, and stuck it in my pocket. I didn't want to accuse him straight out, but I had to show it to Ruby. Maybe she would know what to do. Later that night: After dinner Ruby and I went to my room to talk. I knew it would be a good time to show her what I had found. I just hope she knew a reasonable explanation for the mix up... "Ruby, I hate to say it, but I was snooping through some of Rodney's stuff and found this." I said handing her the ID. "Why were you going through daddy's stuff? Ray... Who is that? Wait...seems like I've heard that name before, but I can't remember for sure. Does this mean...that he's not my father?" Ruby asked with tears in her eyes. "I don't know. But we have to find out for sure." I told her, and gave her a hug. Ruby wasn't going to wait around, she waved the card in the air, and then took out for her `dad's' room. She was ready to burst I could tell...but she showed amazing strength and conviction when she confronted him about it. "Who are you?" She asked handing him the card. "What's going on?" Emerald asked. "This man's real name is Ray Arnold...not Rodney." Ruby said. "Well, I see you have been snooping around in my stuff. Well, we could have done this the easy way...but since you like it this way." Ray hit Ruby on the back of the neck, knocking her out. He moved so fast we didn't have time to react. Emerald started screaming... I moved as fast as I could to a phone. I dialed 911. "What is your emergency?" The operator asked and then all I saw was black... The next think I know I wake up tied to a bed. Ruby's tied to a chair beside me. Her mouth isn't gagged, but she's still asleep. I hope she's asleep. "Ruby..." I whispered. I could hardly speak. My mouth wasn't gagged or anything, but my voice was so weak. I couldn't move much either. I was pretty sure I was drugged. Cause if felt like I had just came out of surgery...that groggy feeling you get when you've had to much pain medication or something. My legs weren't tied, just my arms...so I had some movement...but not enough to do any good. I had to think of something... "Ruby..." I tried to be louder, not very successfully. "I see you are awake now." Ray stated walking into the room. "What did you do to me?" I whispered. "I just gave you something to help you sleep better." He laughed. "What do you want from us?" I asked. "Your record company will pay out the ass for the 3 of you. Then I'll be setting on easy street." He told me. I didn't have the energy to talk anymore. All I could do was cry, and pray that someone would save us. He was not a father; he wasn't even a friend. He was an insane maniac. And if we don't get away from him...we'll die... To be Continued. Well, can you believe all that...well all the drama should make up for the time I was gone at least. LOL! What will happen to Tony? Where is Emerald? Who will save them now? Find out next time! And guys please email me and let me know if you still want me to go on with this story. I know I've probably lost some of you with my long break. Let me know...