Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 18:04:20 -0800 (PST) From: Sarah Gauthier Subject: In Search of Love: Chapter 2 Ok, I told you that I already had the second part written. So, here it is. Remember that feedback is always greatly appreciated. Disclaimer: I don't know them or their sexual preferences, nor do I know anything else about their personal lives. This story is purely fictional, and not meant to offend anyone. If you're not old enough to read this sort of material or you don't like slash, then please don't read it. In Search of Love: Chapter 2 by: Sarah After Britney left, Justin stood in the kitchen for half an hour. He hadn't moved an inch from the spot he stood at to watch the yellow taxi back down the driveway. Standing in front of the window, staring into space, and just thinking. Thinking thoughts of love, confusion, and lonliness. The shrill ringing pulled him from his thoughts, and threw him back into reality. He was still a little out of it, and didn't recognize the sound at first. When Justin realized it was the kitchen phone, he made a quick dash for it. But by the time he reached it, the answering machine had picked up. The next thing he heard was the cheerful sound of his voice. That same voice he always used at interviews, during concerts, and when talking to his mother. The pleasant sound was a cover up. Just a shield to throw off anyone who could even come close to noticing the painful storm racking his soul all the time. "Hi, this is Justin. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, the date, and a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible, (BEEP)." "Hey, Just. I just got off the phone with Lance. We have to be at the studio at 8 tomorrow for rehearsal. Management decided for us to go back on the road sooner than they thought, so....," his voice trailed off. It was like he was searching for the exact thing to say to get his thoughts through to him. Justin still didn't pick up the phone, but it didn't matter. At that point, he just didn't have the strength to talk to him, not to mention he was lacking the courage. There was a good 15 second pause before the older man's smooth voice came back on the line. "Well, uh, just call me later, I guess. See ya, man." And then he was gone. Justin felt part of his heart fade with his voice. 'Was there something he was gonna say? Uh, why does he love her? Why can't he love me? Should I call him? Should I go over there?' He knew he shouldn't go to his house. They had to go in early tomorrow, and that just might not be the best thing to heal his pain. Or maybe it was. Despite his screaming mind, Justin's hand reached for the phone. But as soon as his hand was covering the smooth plastic, he froze. 'God, what's my problem? Why can't I just call him?' "'Cause I know what's gonna happen if I do. And I don't think I can handle it right now," he said aloud. "Great Justin, talking to yourself now. Just great. Jesus, won't be long 'til you're ready to be committed." 'Ok, stop this. Just pick up the phone and call him.' He gently lifted the phone, and dialed with numb fingers. The receiver was placed over his ear, and then there was ringing on the line. "Hello?" God, his voice was so beautiful, so smooth, so far away. "Just?" No answer. Justin tried to say something, but his voice wasn't cooperating. He tried to hang up but his entire arm was frozen in place. "Justin, is that you?" Finally he found the words, and forced them out. "Yea, it's me," he said softly. "I take it you got my message." His voice was slightly amused, and Justin didn't like it. He shifted a on his feet, and eventually took a seat at the kitchen table. "I was just walking through the door when you finished, so I couldn't pick up the phone in time." 'Did he buy that? Please don't let him ask anymore questions.' "Where did you go?" The older man was curious, and he was prying. It almost sounded like he thought he had the right to know where Justin was at all times, and who he was with. In actuality, it was the other way around. Justin was the one always prying into his life. He always had to know where the other man was going and who he was gonna be with. "I went to see Brit off at the airport," Justin answered casually, not missing a beat. 'Was that believable? I didn't tell him that she was supposed to just take a cab, did I?' "Oh, right. I forgot about that." He was lying. Justin had told him that Britney was just gonna take a cab. Why was Justin lying to him? Couldn't he just say where he had really gone? Or, the real reason why he had missed the phone call. More importantly, why did he even care so much why Justin had missed his call or why he had lied to him. There was a problem. Something was wrong, and he wasn't gonna figure out what it was by just listening to his voice. Justin held his breath, and there was pause on the line. Finally the older man continued. "Just, you wanna come over?" 'Ok, this is it,' Justin thought. 'Tell him "no".' Tell him that you're busy. Lie. Tell him you have to go to your mom's house. Yea, like he'd buy that.' "Actually, I don't think that's the best idea. We have to go to the studio early tomorrow, remember?" 'Ok, that's sensible. It's a responsible point. It's something that he'll understand.' "Come on, J. I just wanna talk," his voice was so warm and inviting. Justin wasn't sure if he could deny him anything when he started sounding like that. "We're talking right now," Justin pointed out quickly. 'God, please no. I can't deal with this tonight. Just drop it.' "No, I need to really talk to you. I need to be able to see you, to touch you, to hold you. Please, Just. Maddie's not here. She left this morning. I just really need to see you. I've missed you." 'UHHHH, why does he do this to me,' Justin thought. 'All right, that's it. No matter what it may do to me, I have to go over there.' "Ok, I'll be there in an hour," Justin said gently. He had given in. He wouldn't have if it weren't for the fact that the two hadn't been together for a week. The older man's girlfriend, Maddie had been staying at his house while her parents were in town. And Justin really missed him to. It was true, he had been lonely, and craving for his best friend. "Thanks, I'll see you in an hour," he said gratefully. "Bye." They both hung up, and Justin slowly made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. End of Chapter 2 Ok, that's it. Remember about the feedback thing. If I get a good response from readers, I might actually get to the good parts in the next installment. Questions, comments, ideas? Feedback inspires me to write, and that means more parts in a shorter time period. (Hint, hint.) Sarah96_1999@yahoo.com ~Sarah