Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 17:49:56 GMT From: Diana Martin Subject: Intimate Stranger Interlude: Shattered Interlude: Shattered By Diana Author's Notes: Hi, everybody! Yep, the bitch is back! ;) Slight change of plans in regards to "Shattered": I just couldn't bear to hold out on you guys (plus my inbox got lonely *LOL*), so I've split the interlude into two parts. I'll try to get the second half out before July 25, the cutoff date for the Boy Bands Story Awards. And in other news, "Bad Boys" will be seeing the light of day once more! That's right, Irda and I will be teaming up to rewrite and rework our Boyzone/Westlife story! The prologue and first chapter are in the works, and should be out in either late July or early August. I'd like to turn the spotlight onto a fellow Nifty writer for a moment: "Superman Can't Fly", by Dayse Craze, is without a doubt one of the best fanfics I've ever come across. I highly recommend it, it's simply a must-read story. And a final note: Though shorter, this is a much more complicated story than "Intimate Stranger" or "Kidnapped". If you don't want to get hopelessly lost, just pay attention to the different types of marks that separate the scenes (asterisks vs. doodles). It'll all make sense in the end. Disclaimer: This story is fiction and not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of any N'Sync member. It's all in good fun, so lighten up! *grin* The song featured here is "Shattered", by the Cranberries. Some may notice a resemblance (in terms of plot concept) to the movie "Sliding Doors". Such similarities are coincidental and marginal at best. "I'm trying to control myself So please don't stand in my way I've waited for the longest time This is what I wanted in my way..." "More juice, anyone?" Lynn Harliss asked, coming into the living room with a pitcher of orange juice in one hand. Gracelessly sprawled on one of the couches, Joey Fatone raised a hand and sat up as Lynn refilled his glass. She then placed the pitcher on the table and settled into her recliner. "This is nice. It's a shame we don't do this more often." Lynn sighed. Taking a look at her watch, she frowned slightly. "Where is that boy? He's late again!" Lance Bass smiled as he looked up at Lynn from where he sat, cross-legged, on the floor. "You know JC. Always has to make a big entrance." "And tonight's no exception." JC Chasez announced with a broad grin as he burst into the Harliss residence, hand-in-hand with his blonde lover. "But I actually have a good excuse this time. We've both been doing a LOT of thinking... and..." He turned and stared into the crystal-blue gaze that had captured his heart so long ago. "You wanna tell them?" JC's companion nodded and nervously took a step forward, practically aquiver with anticipation. "We're getting married!" Christina Aguilera finally exclaimed, raising her hand to reveal a glimmering diamond ring on her finger. "Move over, move over There's a climax coming my way Move over, move over There's a climax coming in my way..." For a few seconds, no one said anything. Then Britney Spears leapt off her boyfriend's lap and swept Christina into a crushing hug. "Oh my God oh my God oh my GOD!" she screamed happily. Justin Timberlake, his lap now vacant, rose from the couch and clapped JC on the back. "I knew you couldn't hold out forever, Josh." he said. "Congratulations." JC nodded. "Yeah... I guess I was just waiting to make sure she's the one. After four years together, we were either gonna tie the knot or break it off." "I'm happy for you." Justin replied honestly. JC looked absolutely ecstatic, and Justin was glad just seeing his best friend in such a state. "And what about you?" JC punched Justin in the shoulder playfully. "Thinking of popping the question to Britney?" The curly-haired teen immediately turned a bright red. "Nah... we're not ready for that yet." His eyes twinkled enigmatically. "But hey, you never know..." "I don't like you, don't compromise Shattered by your weakness Shattered by your smile And I'm not very fond of you And your lies Shattered by your weakness Shattered by your smile..." A loud pop startled everyone, but it was only Lynn opening a bottle of champagne. Justin made his way over to Christina and kissed her cheek affectionately. He had always wished that JC would find happiness, the kind Justin shared with Britney. And his friend couldn't have chosen better. Out of nowhere, Britney appeared, jumping into the surprised Justin's arms and giving him a passionate kiss. Justin staggered slightly, but returned his girlfriend's passion. When they broke a few seconds later, panting for air, Justin set her down and looked into her dark brown eyes as he rubbed her shoulders. "My friends should get hitched more often." he joked, ducking in and kissing her once more, savoring the taste of her lips briefly before heading towards JC. "A toast!" Lance shouted, raising his glass high. "To the happy couple! It's about time!" Everyone agreed to that and downed the champagne. As they turned to bombard Christina with questions, Justin approached his best friend, who conspiratorially leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I'm gonna need a best man." JC hinted. Justin chuckled and nodded once. "I'll be there." ~ ~ ~ Mercy Hospital, Los Angeles "All the kids are going back to school The summer's over, it's the golden rule And now I'm coming out to play So please don't stand in my way And all the things that seemed once to be So important to me Seem so trivial now that I can see..." He was being watched. The sensation was familiar, one he should have been used to by now. But these were not fans staring at him in awe and admiration, just people, people with nothing in their eyes but pity and sympathy. JC could understand why he was getting those looks. He was a total mess: Pale, disheveled and red-eyed, with four days' worth of stubble marring his smooth features. God, had it only been four days? Four days since Jack Matthews' death? Four days since they found Justin on the floor of an abandoned warehouse, in a coma? "Move over, move over There's a climax coming my way Move over, move over There's a climax coming in my way..." His recollection of those four days were blurry at best; he couldn't remember what they'd told management, or what the press had found out. There were vague memories of the police interrogating him and his friends, of Detectives Robert Andrews and Sam Collins clearing N'Sync of all suspicions... But one memory persisted, razor-sharp and crystal-clear: the LAPD forensics team, concluding that Jack Matthews had committed suicide. It had seemed so impossibly uncharacteristic of the madman, but during a brief moment of clarity, JC understood that had he been in Jack's place, had he caused Justin such pain, he would have taken his own life as well. Still, Jack's death had not solved their problems. In a way, it had only made things worse. Now there was no way to know what had happened in that warehouse. Jack was gone, and Justin... A shuddering breath escaped JC's chest. His husband was catatonic. Withdrawn from reality. The doctors had found no physical cause: Justin had not been tortured or raped. They believed he had undergone some sort of emotional overload, causing him to simply shut down. He was breathing on his own, and his vital signs were stable, but brain activity was near zero. And with each passing day, the chances of him waking up lessened. And Justin wasn't the only casualty that night. Lance had been taken into surgery with cracked ribs and internal bleeding. Jack's bullet had ruptured something, and the blonde had been in critical condition for the first day or two. But he'd survived, and was currently in recovery. JC's fists clenched. Lance was alive, but he'd soon wish he wasn't. Once this crisis was over, JC would tell everyone about Lance's treachery. He'd pay for what he had done to Justin. But that would have to wait. Right now, Justin needed him. "I don't like you, don't compromise Shattered by your weakness Shattered by your smile And I'm not very fond of you And your lies Shattered by your weakness Shattered by your smile..." As he rounded the corner on his way to Justin's room, he collided with a tall, broad form and staggered backwards from the impact. "Well, look who's here." Even as his eyes came into focus, JC recognized the angry sneer. Joey. "How's it going, JC? Been getting any lately?" "Joe..." JC began, but Joey, in the throes of righteous anger, wouldn't let him continue. "I mean, Justin's in a coma, Lance is out of commission... who's next? That med student down the hall? Maybe one of the doctors?" "I'm not..." JC ran a hand through his hair. He was too exhausted to defend himself. "I never cheated on him, Joey. I love him too much." "You LOVE him?" Joey repeated incredulously. "I saw the picture, JC. I know you and Lance were fucking around when Justin was gone." JC frowned. The fake picture Collins and Andrews had found, of JC and Lance having sex. He'd forgotten about that, and had neglected to ask Lance about it on their way to the warehouse. Interpreting JC's lack of an answer as an admission of guilt, Joey nodded smugly and stormed off. "Shattered by your weakness I've been shattered by your smile... Shattered by your weakness Shattered by your smile... Shattered by your weakness I've been shattered by your smile..." JC watched his friend leave, wondering if he should go after him and set things straight. But there wasn't really any point: Joey would not be swayed easily, and JC couldn't prove his innocence just yet. Still, it hurt that someone so close to him could think he was capable of betraying Justin, of putting Justin through hell just so he could fuck Lance. Rubbing his eyes, JC continued on his way. It didn't matter. Joey, and everyone else who doubted him, would be set straight soon enough. But now it was time to put his life, and the world, on hold. It was time to visit the man he loved. "Please don't stand in my way..." ~ ~ ~ "And one... two... one, two, three, four!" As the opening music to "It's Gonna Be Me" started up, the five members of N'Sync began their synchronized dance routine, carefully executing manuevers they'd memorized weeks ago. The choreographer, a petite redhead named Lee, watched them carefully as the song began. "Come on, Timberlake, look alive!" she shouted, her strong voice bouncing off the walls of the room. The curly-haired blonde obeyed, but midway through the song, he took a wrong step and slammed into JC. The two went down in a tangle of legs and arms, prompting the other members of N'Sync to burst into laughter. "Smooth move, Curly!" Lance joked, helping Justin to his feet as Chris did the same to JC. "Focus, blondie!" Lee yelled at Justin, though she too was smiling. "Okay, you wanna play rough? From the top!" Ignoring the loud groans that followed, she walked over to the nearby stereo and restarted the song. * * * "Nut-busting bitch." Justin swore as he sank into the bench outside the studio, wiping sweat off his forehead. His arms and legs were aching from the hours of practice they had just gone through. "And the worst part is, we PAY her to kick our asses." JC added, dropping down next to his best friend and sighing with relief. They sat there in silence for a few moments, the soft wind blowing across their skin, until a loud grumble resonated from Justin's stomach. JC snickered. "Hungry?" Justin smiled, slinging an arm over his friend's neck. "Starved." They quickly made their way to the pizza parlor across the street, where Lance, Joey and Chris were already in place and munching away. Justin caught sight of the mess on Joey's slice and crinkled his nose. "God, Joey!" JC grimaced in disgust. "What is that thing?!" Joey looked up at them curiously, as though he didn't understand the question. "What? It's just some peppers. And black olives." He paused thoughtfully. "And anchovies..." He held the slice away from him and gazed at it quizzically. "And I think there's a pineapple in here somewhere." "There should be laws against mutilating poor, defenseless pizzas like that." Justin remarked, grabbing a plain slice and sitting down next to Lance. Just as he took his first bite, Lee burst into the place, immediately sending nearby customers fleeing in panic. "What is this?" she barked, hands on hips. "I didn't call a break!" "Guy's gotta eat." JC protested as he wiped pizza sauce off the corner of his mouth. Lee took a long look at them, then sighed. "Wusses. Okay, we'll just have to do this in shifts. Fatone, Bass! Up and at 'em!" "Goodbye, my love!" Joey cried dramatically as he kissed the chaotic mix decorating his pizza. "I'll never forget you!" Hanging his head in mock defeat, Joey stood up and walked towards Lee, with Lance right behind him. "I'm gonna go watch." Chris said, eyes gleaming with mischief. "This should be fun." And just like that, JC and Justin were alone. The blonde looked at his best friend for a long moment, realizing this was the perfect opportunity to tell JC about the decision he'd been wrestling with all day... "JC, I need to tell you something." JC nodded as he bit into the pizza again, sucking a string of cheese into his mouth. Justin relaxed slightly, but kept his eyes on the table. "Promise you won't make a big deal out of it?" "Depends. Is it a big deal?" Swallowing hard, Justin dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, which he then handed over to JC. The older teen opened it, and his jaw immediately dropped. "Holy shit..." he whispered, looking back and forth from his best friend to the small diamond ring in the box. Justin nodded gravely. "I'm gonna do it, Josh. I'm gonna ask her." JC blinked. "When... when did you decide this?" he stammered. "Last night." Justin replied. "I don't know, maybe it was seeing how happy you're making Christina. I want to make Britney that happy too." "You're only nineteen, Justin. You shouldn't rush into something like this." The blonde shrugged. "I know I'm a little young. But..." He locked eyes with JC, and the latter had never seen his best friend look so serious before. "You waited four years to make sure Christina was the real deal. I've been with Britney for longer, but I've always known she was the one for me. What more do I need?" If Justin was expecting some sort of answer, JC couldn't give it. The blonde took the box and put it back in his pocket. "Wow..." JC finally managed. "So... when are you going to..." "Tonight." Justin's fingers were tapping the table surface nervously. "We're going for a walk on the beach." JC nodded, putting his hand atop Justin's. "Congratulations." he said, smiling compassionately. Justin squeezed his best friend's hand. "You know..." the younger teen looked back up to JC. "I'm gonna need a best man." JC smiled. He didn't even have to answer; Justin already knew. They had been together, side by side, from the beginning. And they would always be there for each other. ~ ~ ~ The small room reeked of antiseptic medicine, or whatever it was that gave hospitals their unique smell. JC could barely breathe as he entered the sterile chamber, coming to a halt in front of its lone occupant. Justin Timberlake-Chasez lay on a hospital bed, totally inert. His head had been propped up on two large pillows, his clothes neatly folded and placed on a small stand by the bed. IVs had been strapped to both of his wrists; it was the only way to give the teen some kind of nourishment. Only the steady, shallow rise and fall of his chest assured JC he was still alive. But what disturbed JC most were his husband's eyes: the azure light that had always shone in them was gone now, as though Justin's soul had already died. Taking a seat by the bed, JC took one of Justin's cold, limp hands in his and gently stroked the soft skin. "Hey, angel." he whispered, fighting back tears. He couldn't cry here, he couldn't show how weak and afraid he was without Justin. JC's hand moved upwards, gently brushing against Justin's cheek. "I miss you." he whispered, moving a few damp curls out of his lover's eyes. "You know, I was thinking about the last night we were together, right before all this started. And I realized I didn't..." He paused, clearing his throat. "I didn't tell you I loved you, Justin. I've been saying it less and less lately, and I didn't even notice. I'm so sorry..." Reaching into his shirt pocket, JC pulled out a small gold ring. It was similar to Justin's wedding band, but with an inscription on the outside. "I couldn't find your ring that night." JC explained as he slid the ring onto Justin's finger. "And I never want to go back to that place again. So I got you a new one." His fingertip traced the inscription, a single six-letter word: ALWAYS. "Maybe it's a sign." JC smiled weakly. "New ring, new beginning..." Standing, he leaned over Justin and kissed his pale lips. "I'll be waiting for you." he said, turning and finally letting the tears come as he left the room. Just as JC left, Chris appeared, a shopping bag in his hand. Taking a deep breath to fortify himself, the oldest member of N'Sync entered Justin's room. "Hey, Curly." Chris casually greeted his comatose friend, sitting down next to the bed. Justin didn't even twitch, but Chris let that slide, doing his level best to pretend that Justin was fully aware and awake. "Britney called. She and Christina went to tell your mom what happened. They're on their way." He leaned in slightly. "Your mom sounded really upset... she'd probably feel better if you were back on your feet when she gets here." Again, there wasn't even the slightest reaction, and again, Chris pushed on, resting the shopping bag on his lap and opening it. "I got you something." he said, pulling a large 8-ball out. "I know, I know, lame present... but you never know, right? How about we test it?" He shook it for a few seconds, then asked: "Will Joey have sex with someone other than himself this year?" Turning the sphere upside-down, Chris grinned widely. "'Don't Count On It'." he read, chuckling slightly. "See? It DOES work!" Silence was his only response, and Chris finally slumped his shoulders in defeat. It was no use. Things were falling apart so fast, and he couldn't hold them together anymore. It was almost impossible to believe: Only four short days ago, they'd been happy, on top of the world and loving it. And now all of that was meaningless. Now this insanity had cost someone his life. Not that he was sorry Jack Matthews was dead, the psychopath had been nothing but trouble. But it felt WRONG, to be glad someone had gotten killed. Even scum like Jack didn't deserve that. What frustrated him, though, were the unanswered questions. Things had been so hectic in the past few days that Chris had barely talked to his bandmates. Right now, everyone was focused on Lance and Justin's conditions. Everything else would just have to wait. Chris patted Justin's hand as he got up, leaving the 8-ball next to Justin's clothes. "Hang in there, bro. Things'll get better soon." No sooner had Chris left than Joey arrived, biting his lip at the sight of Justin. And he thought Lance had looked bad... "Oh man..." he groaned, coming closer. "What did those bastards do to you?" Though Justin showed no sign of acknowledgement, Joey could practically feel his friend's despair. The taller teen sat by Justin's side, looking at his friend for a long moment. How could this have happened? What tortures had Justin endured, to turn him into this mindless husk? "I know you probably can't hear me..." Joey murmured sadly. "You don't deserve this, Curly. You didn't do anything wrong." He lowered his head sadly. "I wish I could've helped you. I wish I could've been there for you." Had Justin been able to reply, he probably would have told Joey that none of this was his responsibility, that there was nothing the redhead could have done to prevent this. But no words of absolution were spoken, and the guilt continued to eat at Joey. He'd always thought of Justin as a little brother, and as such, Joey felt an obligation to be protective of his friend, to defend the trusting, almost naive teen from things he couldn't deal with. And he'd failed miserably. First he had allowed Justin to get all tangled up in an abusive relationship. Then he just stood by and let Justin marry JC, even though he knew the younger teen wasn't completely comfortable with it. And now this. Not only had Justin been kidnapped right under his nose, but JC and Lance had been fucking around the whole time, and he'd been oblivious. The anger was swelling in him now: Anger at himself for being so ignorant, anger at JC for betraying Justin when the blonde needed him most. It just wasn't right. And poor Justin had no idea. Joey shot to his feet, fists clenched. "All this is gonna change, Justin. I promise. I'll never let them hurt you again." Kissing Justin's forehead, he left the room, closing the door behind him. For a few minutes, it seemed that Justin had just had his last visitor for the day. The only sound in the room was Justin's shallow breathing and the background hum of hospital machinery. And then the door opened once more, admitting a new figure into the room. No words of encouragement were spoken, no attempts at making light of this situation, nothing. Lance Bass just stood there, leaning against the doorjamb and watching. He was dressed in a thin hospital gown, and underneath it his ribs had been bandaged tightly. The older blonde smirked slightly. Justin might be in a coma, but at least he still had his looks. The blood loss had taken its toll on Lance; he was as white as chalk, and looked like he might drop dead at any moment. The smirk quickly vanished as Lance moved into the room, sending a stab of pain through his body. He was supposed to be relaxing, taking it easy. But he deserved every bit of pain that came his way, and even if it killed him, he would press on. His knees were shaking, his heart was pounding in his ears. Chris and Joey had visited him the other day. Lance had asked about Justin, but neither of them had given him an immediate answer. For a brief, horror-stricken moment, Lance thought Justin might be dead, and he knew that if either of them confirmed that possibility, he would grab a scalpel from the OR and slit his throat. Joey finally told Lance the truth: Jack was dead, and Justin was in a coma. While Lance would shed no tears for his fallen partner-in-crime, Justin was quite another matter. Lance had tried to confess. He really had. As Chris and Joey sat there, joking around and keeping him company, he had almost told them everything. He had almost told them that he'd been working with Jack all along, that he was to blame for Justin's condition. But in the end, he didn't. Because they were all he had left. JC hated him, Justin would surely despise him once he woke up, his family would never forgive him... Chris and Joey were the only people in the world who still cared for him, and he couldn't lose that yet. He wasn't strong enough to be completely alone. So he kept silent. But he knew the truth, and couldn't escape from it. Second-hand descriptions were not enough: Lance needed to face the consequences of his deeds. And face it he did. Justin was just lying there, possibly brain-dead, probably for life. And he, James Lansten Bass, was the one responsible. He had done this to one of his best friends. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. What could he say that would make things okay? What meager apology could balance the scales? He had destroyed Justin, had wrecked his marriage to JC, and worst of all, he'd gotten away woth it. JC was so preoccupied with Justin that he hadn't told anyone about Lance's involvement. Chris and Joey were treating him like an innocent victim. But he was a filthy traitor, nothing more. He hadn't meant for everything to get so out-of-control, but that didn't change anything. This was still his fault. Lance turned away from Justin, choking back a sob. He couldn't ask for forgiveness, because he didn't deserve it. What he took from Justin he would never be able to give back. The green-eyed blonde limped away, leaving his prone bandmate behind. But the vacant sapphire stare followed him with every step he took. ~ ~ ~ A soft breeze blew across the sands, sending shivers up Justin's spine. He was wearing a pair of white shirts and a white tanktop, and walked barefoot across the beach. Britney strolled beside him, clad in a one-piece swimsuit, with a long silky cloth tied around her waist and cascading down her legs. It fluttered in the wind, and Justin's breath caught in his throat as he caught a glimpse of her lean thighs through the folds of the cloth. The crescent moon was shining above them, tinging the sea with silver and white. The sky was a clear, dark blue, studded with hundreds of diamond stars. And the beach was deserted: No fans, no photographers, just the two of them and this perfect night together. He couldn't feel the velvet box in his pocket, but he knew it was there. Goosebumps formed on his arms; he was terrified and exhilirated at the thought that he was going to do this, he was going to get down on one knee and ask Britney Spears to marry him. She would be shocked, of course... they'd never spoken of real committments, even though their seven-year anniversary was coming up soon. He was just being paranoid, though. Britney would look at the ring, then at his face, and she would... She would... Uncertainty suddenly grabbed at Justin's heart, draining away his confidence. What WOULD she do? Would she say yes? Was she ready for marriage? He'd been so focused on his own feelings, that he hadn't even considered Britney's. Did she feel the same way about him? Did she want to spend the rest of her life with him? _What am I so worried about?_ Justin wondered, trying to dismiss his worries. _Christina said yes to JC._ But JC had a way of making people do what he wanted. Justin didn't have that kind of charisma. Everything that had been so clear-cut and logical just a few seconds ago suddenly made no sense. What if she said no? What if she left him? Could he deal with that? "Are you okay?" Britney's soft voice pulled Justin out of his reverie, and he took a long look at her, realizing that he didn't KNOW her anymore. He used to be able to gaze into those dark brown pools and see everything there was to see in her. He'd been able to anticipate her reactions, her desires... he had UNDERSTOOD her. But if he got down on one knee in front of her, what would she do? He didn't know. "Hey!" Britney poked her boyfriend in the chest, giggling slightly. "You look like your head's gonna explode or something!" "Nah, I'm fine..." Justin stammered, turning to face her and taking her hands in his. He didn't know what to say or do next. The box felt red-hot against his skin, burning a hole in his leg. This wasn't right. It was supposed to be a flawless moment, a moment of complete clarity and comprehension. Two halves of a whole, coming together. But he didn't FEEL it anymore. He didn't sense the connection he'd always had with her. It was like she had somehow changed overnight. Or maybe HE was the one who'd changed. A warm sensation suddenly pressed against his mouth, and all of Justin's fears evaporated at the touch of Britney's lips. The doubt, the fear, it all disappeared, and the ring was forgotten as he pulled her to him, kissing her deeply. Her knees slowly gave way, and he lowered himself onto the sand with her, feeling her hands run through his hair, down his chest, towards the hem of his tanktop. Her skin was smooth under his fingers, and as he lovingly caressed her, she gasped in pleasure, blowing hot air against his neck. He shuddered at the sensation; it was bliss, pure and simple. But there were no FEELINGS. They'd been intimate for years, but now, as he held her, there was nothing. Only a vague wish that he was elsewhere. "I love you, Justin." He smiled softly, raising his shirt over his head. "I love you too." But for the first time in seven years, for the first time in his LIFE, he didn't mean it. She locked her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he slipped the straps of her swimsuit down her shoulders, kissing the soft flesh. Even though it felt wrong, he would do this. Because Britney was all he had. There was no one else (liar) in his heart. Again their lips met in an urgent, passionate exchange, and Justin's eyes fluttered shut. She was giving herself to him, and he wanted it. He wanted HER. (you know damn well who you want) "Mmm... Justin..." The soft moan was Britney's, but he heard someone else calling his name. In his mind, Britney's soft, yielding form had been replaced with a new sensation, a firm body made of silk and steel. Hard. Hot. Strong, in a way that Britney could never be. It was, of course, just his imagination, and he opened his eyes to find Britney in his arms. Her hands were exploring to her heart's content, touching and teasing, and though his body responded, his heart did not. Why was he conjuring up some faceless lover when his girlfriend was right there with him, in the throes of passion. (because it's not supposed to happen like this, and you know it) She lay down in the sand and looked up at him; she was waiting for him. And he wouldn't disappoint her. But as he smiled hollowly and crawled up her body, there was only one thing, one face, on his mind. Joshua Scott Chasez. To be continued...