Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2006 23:33:17 -0500 From: Angel J Subject: Justin's Angel-4 This is a sexually explicit story (at times) involving homosexuality. By continuing to read, you affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to this story. The following is a fictious story with no real basis or credibility.It is solely for the enjoyment of the reader.Its all just fun. It does not imply anything about the sexual preferences or lifestyle of Justin Timberlake or any other celebrity mentioned in the story. Previously Justin hung up the phone.Lonnie looked over at him while flipping some pancakes. "From what Steve told me last night, its not your fault this happened to Michael,Justin.It was just an accident." "I still feel respondsible, if i hadn't been so captivated by his looks and eager to meet him, I wouldn't of collided with him."Justin tensed realizing what he had just said. "Why were you so eager to meet him,Just?" Justin blushed a little,trying to think what to say. "Well , he is an author and I am reading his book right now,Steve informed me who he was, and I had to meet him to tell him I enjoyed his book."Justin looked at Lonnie, hoping he had bought it. Lonnie turned off the stove and put the plate of pancakes on the table. "We need to talk Justin.Follow me." Justin followed Lonnie into the living room. "Wait here, be right back,I just want to check on Michael."Lonnie walked into the bedroom and came back shortly. "He is sleeping soundly." Justin relaxed into the chair he was sitting in. "Ok, Justin, I don't know how to say this,so I am just going to say it."Lonnie said looking Justin deeply in the eyes. "Are you gay?" Present Justin's mouth dropped open.Lonnie stared back at him quietly, waiting for Justin to answer him. Justin felt trapped, he tried to avert Lonnie's questioning gaze.Lonnie would have none of it. "Answer me Just." Justin lowered his head, the tears starting to flow out.Lonnie looked at Justin, knowing how hard this was for him ,to be honest about his true feelings. "Its ok Justin, I am not judging you, all I want to be is your friend."Lonnie raised Justin's head with his hand. The tears were flowing freely and Justin struggled to find the words. "I have been struggling with this for so long,I can't understand these feelings or where they come from.I have always been told these feelings are wrong, that I shouldn't feel this way about another man.That I should be normal, not to give into these feelings.That god wouldn't want me to be this way." Justin was so distraught,Lonnie hated to see him in such turmoil. "Justin,you know that god loves you, and that you are a good person. And that you have always tried to be honest with yourself and your family and friends.Right?" Justin nodded. "Then I want you to know that god doesn't care who you are,or what you are.All god wants is for you to know love,to be honest with yourself and with him." Justin looked up at Lonnie.He saw his friend wasn't turning away from him, he was waiting for him to be true to himself. "Then I have to tell you Lonnie, that I have come to believe with all my heart that I may be bisexual or even gay." Lonnie smiled at Justin, and hugged him close. "I still love you Jus, your still the same person you always were, the same guy I have always respected and loved." Justin clung to Lonnie, his tears falling and his sobs racking his body. They held each other for a few minutes, until Justin gained control of his emotions. "That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do,Lonnie." "Well now you have told someone, it only gets easier from here Justin." Justin pulled back from Lonnie, and they looked at each other.Lonnie was smiling and Justin felt a sense of relief.Lonnie still liked him, he wasn't ashamed of him or judging him. "You have grown up so fast the last few years Justin, you never had the chance to decide for yourself what and who you wanted to be,it was always dished out to you that you had to be this type of guy,this type of role model,do this and do that, and nothing else.Well, I think you have finally realized for yourself what type of person you want to be , and who you want to love.That make me respect and admire you son." Justin smiled, his tears finally stopping. "You don't know how much that makes me happy Lon.I have always respected your opinion of me.That you still love me and respect me makes me happy." "Then don't ever be ashamed of who you are Justin.Thats the most important thing I can say to you." Justin breathed a little easier, and had calmed down enough to ask Lonnie the important question that had focused on his mind. "How did you know,Lonnie?" Lonnie smiled at Justin."I have been with you for over 7 years Curly,I always know when something is bothering you.It just took me a while to puzzle it out.I have been close by you and I have been your friend.I have watched you react with girls and with guys.I saw you drifting apart from Cameron,and I saw the fight within yourself.I only had to watch your eyes and who you looked at, to know where your feelings were drifting to.And, if I am not mistaken,they have focused on a certain young man who is sleeping in the next room. Justin thought that he had hid it so well.He looked at Lonnie quietly. "Lonnie,I have always had these feelings deep inside me.I have always thought I was comfortable with girls,you know, but lately I have been losing interest in them, feeling like I needed something more. When I look at Michael I get this sense of happiness inside myself.I want him to like me,as more than just a friend. I have never met anyone like him, he makes me feel real,He makes me feel needed,that he needs me to take care of him.I think he may be the person I have been searching my whole life for." Justin hadn't realized it but he was smiling the whole time he was talking about Michael. Lonnie looked at Justin with a hint of concern on his face. "I know what your saying Justin, but you have to think about some things first.You don't know if Michael feels the same way about you.You don't even know if he's gay.And you haven't known him very long to really know what type of person he is.You have to think about your career and your feelings for him too.I don't want to see you get hurt son.Love in any circumstance is a challenge, you have a greater challenge because you may be mistaking love for guilt.You felt it was your fault Michael got hurt, maybe your mistaking that for love?" Justin thought about what Lonnie was saying.Was he confusing guilt with need?Was he hoping for something more than what was really there? Michael hadn't expressed any emotions toward Justin that would give him any hint of deeper feelings. Justin thought about the last 12 hours, everything that had happened.And he kept focusing in on one small moment. That moment was when he walked out of the bathroom and Michael was having the nightmare.When he reached out to Michael, he quieted down immediately and pressed against him,holding onto him. Justin felt so complete at that moment, he wanted to stay like that forever.Holding someone close, making them feel safe. And Justin realized at that moment that he wanted it to be Michael. "No Lonnie, your wrong.I know in my heart that there are real feelings there ,between Michael and myself.And I feel in my heart that Michael has those feelings too.Vicky said something last night that made a lot of sense.She said everyone has a soulmate, they just haven't found them yet.I have a great hope that Michael may be my soulmate.I can't risk not knowing." Lonnie smiled at Justin. "Ok, slick.Its your life and your choices to make.All I can do is be there for you,and I always will be." Justin beamed and Lonnie grabbed him into a big bear hug. "Thanks big man, thats all I ask." Lonnie smiled back."Well thats all I wanted to say to you.And you know I will always respect you,take care of you and be there when you need me." Justin felt a great pride in his heart for this big man, he was a true friend. "I should finish making breakfast, Michael should be woken up shortly,lets see if we can get him to eat something." Lonnie jabbed Justin lightly and headed into the kitchen.Justin got up and headed to the bedroom,He felt a lot better now knowing that someone was there for him,he didn't have to face this alone. Justin quietly entered the bedroom and looked at Michael in the large bed.He had curled up into a fetal position, his arms wrapped around a large pillow. Justin sat gently on the bed and looked at Michael.His breathing was relaxed and he had a little smirk on his face,as if he was dreaming about something nice.Justin loved that look on his face.It made him look innocent and sweet. Justin lightly ran his finger along Michael's cheekbone.Michael murmured quietly.He only said a single word. "Jus." Justin sat there , a single tear flowing down his cheek.He did have some feelings for me!He knew it was me that was beside him. Justin took a deep breath, and wiped the tear out of his eye.He put on his best smile and gently shook Michael. Michael groaned a little but gradually his eyes opened. "Wake up sleepy head, you looking to sleep all day." Michael pulled the pillow over his head."Leave me in peace,I don't want to get up." "Oooh, sounds like someone is a bitch in the morning." Michael's eyes focused on a smiling face above him. Oh god, its him.Why do I have to see his angelic face every time I open my eyes,thought Michael. I know seeing that every morning would be heaven.But this is the real world, dreams don't come true. Michael sighed slowly. "Morning Jus.What time is it?" "Almost noon,Mikey.The morning is long gone.YOu feeling any better?"Justin said, the concern evident on his face. "Still have a headache, but its not as bad.Let me get up, and I will see how my balance is." Michael sat up gradually,stretching his arms over his head, exposing his muscular abs and treasure trail.Justin couldn't take his eyes of his slim hairy body.The tshirt fit Michael's form nicely. Michael pulled himself off the bed slowly,Justin moving up with him,standing by his side ready to catch him if he staggered. Michael remained standing,his balance seem to be back to normal. "Looks like I am almost back to normal, no dizziness.Now if I can get rid of this nagging headache,I will be right as rain." "Thats great Mikey, but don't rush it, just take it slow." "Well right now , I have to make a trip to the bathroom."Michael started towards the bathroom,Justin in tow. "I will be right outside if you need anything,Mikey." Michael smiled shyly and closed the door behind him. Michael's POV Michael stared into the mirror facing him.He looked like shit, his hair disheveled, a growth of hair starting on his face. Michael hated his looks, why couldn't he be handsome like Justin. He couldn't believe how handsome and sexy Justin was in person.SO sexy and beautiful.Not like him. Sure, some people said he was good looking, but Michael never took it serious. Michael thought about the handsome young man in the next room.He never had that worry.He was good looking to a point of distraction. But he couldn't believe someone that beautiful would be attracted to him. Why did Justin sometimes stare at him?It was almost like he was interested in him. "NO.No.No." the voice in his mind said firmly. You know why he stares, because your a hard luck case.Because you fucked up and fell on your ass.He only feels pity for you. You don't honestly think he could have feelings for you.He is a famous musician, your just a small insignificant writer. You know no one can love you, your only good for one thing.To be used and then thrown away.Like trash. Thats all everyone has done for you your whole life. They use you , they take everything from you, then leave you. You let your feelings show through and it ends in tragedy,always. Michael longed for something different to happen but he knew it never did. He couldn't bear to think of Justin using him, the way everyone else had.That would kill him. Better not to get too close to him, be his friend but nothing more. That way he wouldn't get hurt again. Michael looking again at himself in the mirror.He would have to be strong as always. He couldn't let anyone break down his defenses. He would be alone ,always.He had to be that way, he couldn't change. Michael washed his face and used the toilet.After flushing, he took one more look in the mirror, a single tear was falling from one eye.He brushed it away. He took a deep breath. So it had to be.As always. Michael opened the door. Present Justin was sitting in a chair by the door.Michael looked at him quickly.Justin caught the look in his eyes. It was as if the man who came out of the bathroom was different somehow.He seemed steeled against the world, there was something different in his eyes.The lost look was hidden deeper in them.Justin could tell that something had happened in the way Michael looked at him,almost like he had set up a wall against his feelings. "You ok, Mikey?"Justin asked ,searching Mikey's eyes. "Doing ok, Justin." "Your still not bothered by what happened this morning,are you? Believe me, you have nothing to be ashamed about.I don't have any less respect for you." How could Justin be so nice to him, after getting sick all over everything.After everything that had happened.Michael couldn't understand that. Michael looked shyly at Justin.There was a big smile on his face, no contempt or disgust was evident on that face. "Why are you being so nice to me Justin, you don't even know me." Justin put his hand on Michael's shoulder and faced him. "I know enough about you to know that your a decent, honest,trusting person.There is a sadness about you,Michael,I believe you need someone to make you happy.And I want to be that close friend. "So you think i am a hard luck case,is that it! Sad, poor Michael, poor little Michael.Lets be nice to him, he needs loving,he is so pathetic." Where was this coming from,thought Justin. Michael wouldn't look Justin in the eyes, it was as if he was avoiding him,avoiding his concerned gaze. Justin didn't know what to say, how could he make Michael understand that he wanted to be his friend. Justin decided he knew how.He didn't hesitate for a moment, he reached out and put his arms around Michael, hugging him tightly. "This is how I feel about you Michael,nothing at all like what you just said." Michael couldn't believe what Justin was doing, why wasn't he turning away from him, why wasn't he treating him like everyone else had. "Please Justin, don't."Michael's voice had a shudder in it. Michael didn't want Justin to stop, he feel so safe wrapped in his arms. Justin pulled back, hesitant about upsetting Michael more. "I just wanted to show you that I care about you man.I am your friend whether you want me to be , or not." Michael slowly looked up at Justin. "This is difficult for me Jus, why do you want my friendship? I am not famous or talented like you.I am not anywhere as interesting as you.I have nothing special that I can give you to make you feel that I deserve your friendship." Michael sat down in the chair Justin had vacated.He hung his hands between his legs and lowered his head. Justin longed to just pick Michael up and hug him for hours.He needed to know how he felt. "Mikey,don't ever say that again."Justin put a bit of forcefulness in his words. Michael hadn't seen Justin like this before. "You are you.Thats what I like about you.YOu are yourself, a decent,kind ,intelligent man, who I find fascinating and I want to develop a mutual friendship with. Don't ever sell yourself short Michael.You have talents that I am in awe of. Man, what you can do with words, blows me away.Your writing is phenominal.And your sense of humor puts a smile on my face. So listen up amigo, your you, thats whats important to me.Just be yourself,thats all I am asking from you." Michael looked up at Justin, his eyes were shimmering. Justin's eyes were starting to water too. "Keep it up Timberlake,and we will need hankies."Michael smiled at Justin, trying to use humor again to break the awkwardness. Justin chuckled and broke into a smile. "Well?" "Ok Jus.I want to get to know you better too.I want to give it a shot." Justin practically beamed."Awesome Mikey." Justin stretched out his hand, and Michael grasped it. There was that spark again,Michael thought. What was he getting himself into.Was this the right thing to do with Justin. Michael looked at Justin briefly.He smiled an infectious smile and Michael couldn't help but smile. Yeah, this could be a good thing.Justin could be a friend he could trust,Michael thought. If only he didn't have to come clean about his past, and his life.And the person he was. The man everyone didn't understand and most people felt uncomfortable around. Vicky had seen a small part of it, there was so much more. Michael hoped that Justin wouldn't regret his decision when that horrifying truth came out. End chapter 4 Sorry for the delay, had some major computer problems.Hope this wasn't too short.Hopefully the pace will pick up but there is so much more to tell. What is Michael hiding? What other things lay hidden in his past? Keep reading, much more to come. Angel.