Date: Wed, 19 May 1999 18:35:05 GMT From: Chuck Moors Subject: Kevin & Jordan 3-4 (celeb) Legal Disclaimer: This story is a total and complete work of fiction. It is nothing but a fantasy I have. It is not intended to imply anything about the sexuality of any of the people written about. In particular Kevin Richardson or Howie D. of the Backstreet Boys, or any other celebrities mentioned. If homosexual acts between 2 males disturbs you or if you are under 18 or this material is illegal in your city, state, or country then you need to leave. Comments are welcome at stang32@hotmail.com *****Authors Note***** Here is the next part of the story. I hope everyone is enjoying it so far. -------------------- KEVIN & JORDAN PART 3 We walked out of the green room and headed towards the guys' limo. Once we got there, we all got in. Unfortunately, I didn't get to sit next to him, but at least I could look at him. "So, Jordan, how much longer are you going to be in Chicago?" Nick asked. Kevin cut him a glance that seemed to say shut-up. "Well, today is Wednesday. I'm here the rest of today and tomorrow, then I leave for LA on Friday afternoon. I have the weekend off, then back to shooting the show on Monday. Why do you ask?" "Oh, just curious," he replied with a little grin on his face. "Your lucky you get that much time off," Howie said. "Why?" "Well, most of the time, we are only in a city for one night to do a show. Then we leave for the next morning," This came from Brian. "It gets real old sometimes," Kevin added. I just looked at him and smiled. "I guess it does. But, you have to admit it has to be somewhat fun with everything you get to see. Right?" I said. "Yeah, it can be fun, but sometimes you just want to be able to spend a little time somewhere and be a regular person," AJ said. "But you know just as well as I do how hard it is to be a regular person in this business, AJ" I said. What happened next surprised me. "Never mind trying to be a regular person," Kevin suddenly gushed. "Do you know what it's like trying to have a relationship with anyone in this business? All people want you for is what you are...not who you are. I mean, God forbid you actually meet someone and want to start a relationship with them! When was the last time you met someone you thought you could have a relationship with, only to find out that it's not going to work. Whether it be your job, or his job...I mean her job, or something else." His eyes were actually starting to tear. Did he just say what I thought he said? Did he say "His job" but then correct himself? Before I could say anything, Brian jumped in. "Kevin, man, calm down. It's all right." "No, it's not. When was the last time any of us had a real relationship? I know for me it was when me and..." "Kevin, I don't think that this is the time or place for us to be discussing this." Brian said, interrupting his cousin. "What? Oh yeah, I guess your right Bri. I'm sorry about that Jordan. I didn't mean to drag you into our problems. I'm sure you have enough of your own." Kevin said wiping away a tear. "It's no problem. Really. I know how you feel. Trust me." I said lying, since I hadn't really been with anybody since I got to LA a year ago. I mean, I had dates with some of the actresses in town, but they were all for show. None of them knew I was gay. But, nothing ever happened either. Phil and I had decided right away for me to be seen with as many girls as possible. That way, no one could say anything about my sexuality. But, Phil also knew that the day would come when I would meet someone. It just hadn't happened yet. "So guys, when do you leave?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "Well, believe it or not, we're not leaving until Friday either," Howie replied. "Maybe we could all hang out till then. Since we're all going to be here anyhow." "Sounds like a plan to me," I said, as I looked to Howie, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kevin smile for the first time since we got into the limo. I wanted to say something to Kevin, but never got the chance to. At that moment, we arrived at the restaurant. We all got out of the limo and headed in. We were seated right away. The waiter came over, took our drink orders, and left us to look over the menus. We all made small talk while we looked them over. I sat there looking at Kevin, thinking about what he had said in the limo. I know he had said `his job'. But, I also heard him correct himself. Maybe it was a slip. But, then again maybe it wasn't. Deep in my heart I hoped that he was gay, but I knew better. He was a member of one of the biggest boy bands of all time. How could he be gay? But he had been acting weird around me since we met. I finally decided to just forget it and worry about having a good time. It was my birthday after all. And here I was eating with the Backstreet Boys. The only way this day could get any better was if Kevin came to me and professed his love. Fat chance of that happening. Just enjoy yourself, I thought, and take everything for what it's worth. If nothing else happens, I'll at least get five new friends out of it. I looked over the top of my menu right at Kevin. He looked so cute. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I knew I had to, but something wouldn't let me. At that moment, he looked at me and smiled. Our eyes met and I knew that there was something there. I just couldn't tell what it was. I couldn't take it any more and decided to do something about it. The waiter came back, took our orders for lunch, and left us alone again. "Will you guys excuse me for a minute? I need to go to the bathroom," I said. "Oh...sure...no problem," they all replied in one way or another. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I was in there fixing my hair, when I heard the door open. I turned and looked and there was Brian. "Hey Brian...how are you?" I asked. "Well, to be honest with you, probably better than you are," he answered. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, as I zipped up my pants. "Well, for on thing, you seem kind of distracted. And for another thing, you keep looking at Kevin and every time you do, you get a smile on your face. Now if I didn't know better, I would think that you were attracted to him," he said. I stood there shocked, not knowing how to answer him. I recovered enough to blurt out. "Come on. You're kidding right?" "No, I'm not. You look at him the same way he looks at you," he answered me. It was now or never. "Brian, I'm going to ask you something and I need a straight answer from you," I said "Well, I'll do my best," he answered. "OK...here goes. Brian...I'm gay...and ever since I saw your first video, I have had this thing for Kevin. I can't get him out of my head. Don't ask me to explain it, because I can't. All I know is that he does something to me that I can't explain," I said. "Jordan, if your asking me if." he started. "Brian, please let me finish." I interrupted him. "OK...I'm sorry. Continue," he said. "Like I said. He does something to me that I can't explain. But, without getting into too much detail. I fantasize about him and me being together... What it would be like...if I could make him happy...I mean, really happy...stuff like that. So I guess what I'm trying to ask you is...is...is Kevin gay? Because I get the feeling that he is...but it might just be my head fucking with me." I blurted out. "Jordan, I wish I could give you the answer you want, but I think that, this is something that you need to talk to Kevin about." He had started to tell me something but he backed off. I felt like my world was collapsing in on me. "But," he continued, "if you are honest with him and tell him everything you just told me, I know he'll be cool with it at least" "OK...I will, but Brian, I have one favor to ask you," I said. "What is it?" He replied. "Please don't tell him what we were talking about in here. I want to get the answer from him without him already knowing what I'm going to ask." "Fair enough," he said, and with that he gave me a hug adding, "Give him a chance, he might just surprise you," he smiled and walked out ahead of me. Now that that was out of the way, I walked out of the bathroom and back to the table. "So, Jordan, did everything come out all right?" AJ asked. "Well, if you must know, I asked Brian to marry me in there," I started, "and he actually said yes." Everyone started laughing...except for Kevin. I knew right then that I had crossed the line and immediately regretted it. I sat down and just looked at Brian with a questioning look on my face. I didn't know what I should say to Kevin, when Brian mouthed to me "talk to him!" "Kevin," I blurted, "can we go and talk for a minute?" Please let him say yes, I thought. "Yeah, we can...let's go," he said. We got up and walked back by the bathrooms. Once we got there, I just looked at him, not knowing what to say. Finally, I found the strgenth in myself and started. "Kevin look...I'm sorry about the comment about Brian...I was nervous and didn't know what to say," I admitted. "It's ok...I understand," he said. "No you don't," I blurted out, "You have no reason to know why I said that and I don't expect you too," I finished. "Yes, I do understand and I think that I have a way to let you know just how much I do understand," he said grinning. With that, he started walking towards me. At that moment, Nick walked in and said, "Hey guys, the food is here. Let's eat." "Oh...ok...we're coming...right Kevin?" I said. "Yeah...we're coming," he replied, with a big look of disappointment on his face. Nick walked away and Kevin and I just looked at each other. I shrugged my shoulders. He did the same and I just dropped my head. Then the unexpected happened: "Jordan, can we finish this later?" he asked. "Um...sure...I don't see why not." I said. "Good. I have some things I want to tell you but I thing that it would be best if we were alone when I told you," he finished. "Yeah...I think your right." I answered him. We walked back out to the table and sat down to eat our lunch. The next thing I know, I felt a foot rubbing against mine under the table. I looked at Kevin and he just smiled. I couldn't help smiling back. I kept thinking about what it was that Kevin wanted to say to me. Brian's words kept running through my mind, though, and I got the felling things might just go all right. PART 4 We ate our lunch, making idle chit chat. Kevin and I were just going along with what everyone else was saying. When we finished, we all got up and walked back out to the waiting limo. As we were walking out the door, Howie pulled me aside and said, "Jordan, just tell him how you feel. Everything will be ok...trust me." "Howie, what are you trying to tell me?" I asked "Nothing, except be yourself with him," he replied. "Are you saying what I think you saying?" I said. "I'm not saying anything...except be honest with him," he answered. "I guess that means you know, don't you?" I said. "What? That you're gay? Yes I do, but there is only one way that I could know that," he said smiling. I stared at him "You're gay too?" I whispered, stunned. "Yes, I am. The rest of the guys know and they accept it and support me. They are the best friends a person could have," he said. I just looked at him in disbelief. I was getting ready to ask him something, but never got the chance. "Before you even ask what's on your mind, don't. Because I won't answer you. It's not my place to. All I can say is that even though we just met you, you need to know that you will get all of the support from us that we can give." "Thank you Howie. I...I...don't know what else to say," I mumbled. "Don't worry about it. If it makes you feel any better, we've all been in that situation, in one way or another." He said. "Come on, you guys, we're waiting for you," AJ yelled at us. "We're coming," we said together. We walked to the limo, and everyone was inside except for AJ. He looked at me and said, "You ok?" "Yeah I think so," I answered him. "Good. Now get in," he said, pushing me in. Once we were all in the limo, it pulled away from the curb. I just sat there not knowing what to say. Again. When broke the silence. "So, what do we do now?" "Well, I hate to break this up, but I'm exhausted and I think maybe I should go back to my hotel and get some rest," I said. "Oh...are you sure you have to go?" Kevin asked. Nobody else said anything. They just looked from him to me like a tennis match. "Yeah, I think I should. But why don't we get together tonight and do something?" I said. "Works for me. I could take a nap and feel a hell of a lot better," Nick said. "Me, too," Brian chimed in. "Yeah...sounds good," AJ said. "I don't see why not," Howie added. "Sure...I'm actually kind of tired myself. But we're going to do something tonight, Right?" Kevin said. "Of course," Howie, Nick and AJ said together. All of them grinning like a cat that just ate a mouse. "OK...why don't we do this? It's 3:30 now. Why don't you guys call me at 8:00? Then we can figure out something to do. That way, we can all get some rest. How does that sound?" I asked, looking directly at Kevin smiling. "It sounds good to me," said Brian. "Me, too," said Nick and AJ at once. "Sounds like a plan to me," said Howie. We rode for about another 5 minutes, until we got to my hotel. We pulled up in the front of it and I started to get out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Howie was push Kevin to get out with me and say something. He did. "Jordan, I...uh..." he stammered. "Yeah Kevin?" I said smiling, leaving the next step up to him for once. "Before we all go out together, do you think that you and I can get together and talk?" "Yes, we can. I think we need to," I told him. "OK...what room are you in?" He asked. Then quickly added, "So I can call you." I checked the number on my key and showed it to him and gave him my cell number, just in case. Then I did something I never thought I would do. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, saying goodbye and that I'd talk to him later. I ran into the hotel lobby as fast as I could. He just watched me go and I heard him say goodbye to the air, as he climbed back into the limo. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Cuz, are you OK?" Asked Brian. "I...I...think so...he just kissed me." "Well that's what you wanted right?" Asked Nick. "Yeah, it is. But I didn't think that it would happen. I mean, it's not like I've been the most approachable person in the world today. I never thought that he would like me that way. I thought maybe that he was gay, but..." Kevin said "Come on...we all knew by the way he looked at you and by the way he acted around you. How could you not tell?" Howie asked. "I don't know. I guess I just wasn't paying that much attention to the way he was acting," Kevin said. "BULL SHIT!!" The other four guys said at once. "You were so obvious, it's not even funny..." AJ said. "What do you mean?" Kevin asked. "Kevin, we love you, but we've never seen you like this," Nick finished AJ's thought. "Let's face it, Kevin, you are always everyone else's father figure and you take care of everyone else, but you never look out for yourself. Well, now it's our turn to look out after you. So, no matter what it takes, we are going to get you two together," Howie said, with the other guys nodding in agreement. "Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it," Kevin said as he wiped away a tear. "Don't mention it, Kev. I have a feeling that everything is going to work out the way you want it to," Howie said. "Howie, what is that supposed to mean?" Kevin asked. "Well, let's just say that...never mind," Howie answered. "No! Not never mind, tell me. You guys know something. Now tell me!" Kevin demanded. "Kevin, I'm going to tell you what I already told him. It's not my place to speak for you. You need to trust Jordan and be honest about how you feel," Howie said. Now it was Brian's turn to jump in. "Cuz, you know we all support you no matter what you do, We all know how you feel towards him; we can see it in your face. Now the only question is, what are you going to do about it?"