I suppose the standard disclaimers apply here. If you're under 18 or object to homosexual content in any fashion, please do not continue to read. The following story is not meant to imply anything about the sexual orientation of any of the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync or anyone else that may be mentioned. Please send any comments, suggestions, quips, and criticisms to email@example.com. Thanks for reading and hope that you enjoy. Big Kiss to KSR.
Sitting down on the couch after grabbing some food, Kevin sits on the floor in front of me, between my legs.
"You're both smiling like the cat that ate the canary. It was a canary that you guys ate wasn't it ?" Howie asked, chuckling.
"Trust me. If we had sex, you guys would have heard it." I said, and put a forkful of scrambled eggs in my mouth.
Kevin turned around to look at me and had a shocked but smiling look on his face.
"Well, they would have," I laughed.
"Yeah and you'd be walking funny Josh. We've all seen that thing that Kevin has." AJ said to me.
"Ok New topic please." Kevin said loudly.
We all laughed and I started to fill them in on some plans and ideas that I had for the video.
"So. I figured that I'd do some behind the scenes things with all of you. Get some good concert footage. Screaming girls telling me how much they want in your pants. Things like that." I said, pulling my legs up in an Indian position on the couch.
"Well, they can get in everyone's pants but mine." Kevin said, getting up from the floor and sitting beside me.
"And they can get half way down Howie's!" A.J. laughed, remembering the bisexual line he threw at us in Detroit.
"Umm...Hey! That's not funny." Howie said in mocked anger.
He started giggling with everyone else. "Ok. So it was funny".
"Come on." Kevin said as he stood up and started to pull me up too. "We gotta run and get those papers signed and get you a job."
"O.K. We're off. We'll see you guys later" I managed as Kevin pushed me out the door.
"Bye guys" Kevin turned and shut the door.
"That was rude," I said as we entered our room.
Kevin grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "I had to get you alone. We really have a couple of hours to kill before we have to go sign those papers. And I want to spend the time in bed."
"Mr. Richardson. Exactly what kind of man do you think I am?" I said as I pulled my shirt together from where he started unbuttoning it.
"One" he kissed my neck. "That" more kisses. "Likes" God, he hit that one special spot on my neck. "This" and then he started nibbling on my neck and ear.
My knees started bending from the pleasure that he was making me feel.
Much to my surprise, he leaned down and scooped me up and walked me over to the bed. Placing me down gently, he moved in beside me and we crawled under the covers.
Slowly, he started to remove my shirt. Kissing his way up as he pulled it over my head. Pausing long enough to dart his tongue in and out of my mouth. Slowly sucking on my tongue.
He pulled the shirt over my arms and shoulders and sat there looking at me.
As usual, I became self-conscious. "What?" I finally asked him.
"I can't believe how much my life has changed in these last few weeks. You've done wonders for my spirit you know. I'm just finally happy. Does that make sense ? I just feel like I can face anything, knowing that I can come back here and be with you. Nothing seems scary anymore. The future seems much brighter. Am I babbling ?" he said, rambling. Everything that he said was sweet but I have to admit that he could have said it without it being in all one breath.
"Pause. Take a breath dear. And yes it makes sense. I know exactly what you mean. And yes you were babbling." I said, laughing and kissing him on the cheek.
"See ? I even love you calling me dear. Even when you laugh at me I love it. God, I'm such a pushover", he said lying back on the bed.
"You sound like a man in love to me." I said. I was beginning to accept the fact that he was in love with me. As quick as it happened for him, I believe that what he feels is love. But what is it that I feel ? It's different than how I felt for Steve. Steve was the last man that I told 'I love you' too. But, after many years of thinking back on our relationship after we had broken up, I decided that I don't think that I loved him completely. I was happy with him yes, but something was lacking. I wasn't old enough to be in love. I was barely into my 20's. I didn't know what love meant. I'm not sure I do now. But, looking into the eyes of this man lying beside me, I get lost. There's no me. There's no him. There's just us. No singing group. No video job. Just him and I.
"God I sound corny", I said, thinking out loud.
"That was not corny. It's true. I am in love with you." Kevin sat up and looked at me, thinking that I was talking about him loving me.
"No. I was thinking something in my head and it escaped my mouth. I know you love me. I see it in your eyes. Feel it in your touch. See it in your smile. But, how did you know you loved me ? How can you tell?" I asked, honestly wanting to know.
"Have you ever walked in a park?" he asked me.
"Yeah. I used to do it all the time back home. Why?" I replied.
"Ever see an old couple just sitting and feeding the birds? Or just sitting there holding hands, knowing that they love each other without having to say it?" he continued.
I nodded yes.
"That's how I see us. Or rather how I imagine we will be someday. Up to this point in my life, I've had men in my life that have meant a lot to me. But, I knew that they just weren't the one. I didn't have that sense of urgency to see them or that spark in my heart when I touched them. When I saw you that first day standing there in that dirty garage with that silly hat on your head, I knew that I had to get to know you better. I knew that I needed you in my life. One of my best friends from high school always told me that I'd meet the person, and yes, she said person, she was always very perceptive. Anyway, she always said that I'd meet the person of my dreams when I most needed it. And I did. These last few months of traveling and being away from my family have been hard on me. I have the guys to cheer me up. But, sometimes, I would just hang out in my room and cry myself to sleep. I began to contemplate whether or not to make this my last tour. I missed being normal. I missed being gay, if you can imagine. Even thought the guys didn't know, I'm out to all my friends back home. I missed just being myself. Do you know how badly I wanted to kiss you in the airport? To let everyone know that I have a boyfriend? That I love someone? But, for the group, I keep it all in. So, you see. You ask me how do I know? I just know. I know what I feel. How I feel. How you make me feel."
Kevin wipes away the tears from my face. "Why are you crying? I should be the one crying. I've got everything in the world to be thankful for." he asked.
"I feel like an ass for questioning your love. I've never been good in accepting love from people. I've always expected them to want something from me. And I realize that you want something from me too." I answered.
He started to say something, but before he could speak, I said, "You want my love and my respect. That's all. Nothing else. No hidden agenda. No ulterior motive. And I just realized that. I'm crying because I'm happy. And because I feel like a goofball. Forgive me?"
"Nothing to forgive. I know how you feel. Trust me I do. I felt that way too, right up until I met you. Brian and I talked after I had invited you over and he helped me decide that I needed to just let things happen and give into the fact that I could very well fall in love or that I could get my heart broken. But more importantly, and I'll never be able to thank him enough for this, that I'm worth it. I just had to start believing that I would fall in love again, someone would care for me, love me. Not love the singer, the star, the 'Boy', but to love Kevin."
"So, I realize that you may not love me yet. And that's okay. But, I know that you care for me. That you'll never hurt me. That you'll be there for me. That I'll be the only one. And to me that's love. So, don't feel the need to say it because I do. Tell me something silly. Say, 'Ditto' like they did in Ghost, I don't care. Or just smile at me like you're doing now. But, I don't want you telling me something that isn't it your heart just because you think that I want to hear it. Promise me?" Kevin said, looking down at me.
I just smiled at him. He understood and smiled back. "Thank you, my love." and he grabbed me into a hug.
He got up from the bed, breaking away from my arms, ignoring my protests.
"I'm just going to put some music on. I'll be right back."
He got up and walked to the stereo and put in some slow jazz music and turned the sound down low. He walked over and closed the curtains so no light peeked in. He grabbed a candle from his bag and lit it, placing it on the nightstand beside the bed and proceeded to turn off the light.
"Hmmm...I have this big bed all to myself. I wonder who'll come and share it with me." I said playfully.
"Me me me me me!" he jumped up and down, laughing.
"Well, what're you waiting for?" I asked, pulling back the sheet for him to get under the covers with me.
He started to climb in.
"Um. Just a second mister. Shouldn't you be naked? After all, you are getting in bed." I asked him.
"Oh. I didn't think that you'd. I mean. I didn't want to assume that anything was gonna happen." he said.
I grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. I slowly pushed his head away, making sure that I slowly sucked on his bottom lip.
"Assume" was all I said to him as I took off my shorts and threw them on the floor and sank lower in the sheets.
He started to climb into bed again. I stopped him.
"Nuh uh mister. I wanna see you naked again." I laughed as I moved the sheets up so he couldn't get under them.
"But, you're under the bed all naked and not out in the open. I'm all embarrassed." he said, his face getting red.
"Embarrassed about what? Need I remind you of a certain nickname that I read about once? Mr. Body Beautiful, I believe it was." I said, not letting him under the covers.
"But honey..." he started to whine a little.
"Ok. Since I'm in bed this time. Next time we'll switch and then I have to strip for you. Deal?" I asked.
He still looked a little uncomfortable. So I slowly started to lower the bedsheets until right after my navel.
"There's more to see if you'd only join me. But, not until you're naked." I said to him, smiling. I can be so stubborn sometimes.
"Oh hell, it's only a penis. It's not like you haven't seen one before. " he said, taking off his sweat pants.
"I've seen yours before remember ? It's not like it'll be something I've never seen." I said.
He climbed under the covers, shivering a little.
"Come here baby. I'll warm you up." I said pulling him on top of me and wrapping my arms around him.
He slowly ran his hand down my thigh and up to my stomach.
"Just testing." he said. "Can't have me be the only naked one in here."
He rolled over so that we were facing each other and we started to kiss. Slowly, just a tender kiss on the lips. Gently, allowing our tongues to penetrate the others lips. I started to let my hands roam as did Kevin. I moved my hand over his chest and felt the silky black hairs. Brushing my fingers lightly over his nipples. A slight moan escapes his mouth.
"Like that do you?"
A groan was all I got in response as I lowered my head to take his nipple in my mouth. Biting it ever so gently, I flicked my tongue over the tip. He groaned again and pushed my head into his chest. My hands felt the smoothness of his back and I slowly worked my way down to his ass. They were slightly cushy but then I grabbed them hard and he flexed them. It was like squeezing stone. He couldn't take anymore of my mouth on his nipple and pulled me up so that he could tease my neck with his tongue. He moved up and slowly started to breathe in my ear. It was my turn to groan. How did he know? I felt my cock swell as he continued to lick my earlobe and whisper in my ear. His hand moved slowly down my chest and between my legs. God his hand was warm. He slowly stroked up and down. Flicking his tongue across my neck with each stroke. I pushed him onto his back and started my way south. I licked his nipples again and dragged my tongue down the soft line of hair that led to my target. I purposely skipped over his cock, just slightly breathing on it with hot air. I kissed his inner thigh. Then the other. I took one of his balls in my mouth and slowly licked. They started to tighten from the sensation Kevin let out a sigh. I licked the bottom of his cock and pulled my mouth off again, moving up to his stomach, deliberately avoiding the rest. I then started to kiss his stomach and he let out a whimper and said, "Please Josh. Please." Smiling to myself, I swallowed his cock in one gulp. He gasped and thrust his hips in the air. Slowly, I started to pull it out of my mouth, lapping at it with my tongue. I pulled the skin over the head and back down again slowly. Enjoying the little game of hide and seek. I slid the skin back down and just took the head in my mouth, running my rough tongue along the soft underside. Kevin grabbed my head and put pressure on it, I gave in and took all of him in my mouth again. I loved the feeling of him there. And from the sounds he was making, he liked what I was doing. After a few minutes, he pulled me back up into a kiss.
Rolling me over onto my back , I gathered it was his time to explore. He bit one of my nipples. Drawing a gasp from me. "Too hard?" he asked. Shaking my head no, I pushed his mouth back over it. "Harder." I answered. He chewed until it seems like he had bitten it off. I was in heaven. He moved his tongue down and played with a scar on my stomach. Teasing me the same that I had done him, he avoided taking me in his mouth right away. Just licking it all the way down instead. He started to chuckle.
"Um. Hey. Granted it's not 11 inches or anything but you don't have to laugh" I said.
"No, I wasn't laughing at that. And you have nothing to laugh at believe me. I was laughing because you shave down here" he said, licking my hairless balls.
"MMMM...uh, I like to be neat. Oh god" I managed to get out as he placed them both in his mouth. Slowly he let one out then the other and lifted them up and out of the way and his tongue started to trace the line that runs beneath. He slowly lifted one of my legs and placed his tongue so close to my hole and I could feel his hot breath tickling me. He removed his head and lowered my leg. He placed the head of my cock in his mouth, gently rubbing his teeth over the sensitive tip. I'm not much of a noisemaker myself, even though I told the guys that they'd hear us. But he had me moaning with everything that he did. Kevin took all of me into this mouth, slowly at first. God, he was good at this. Kevin continued his assault with his mouth until I couldn't take it anymore.
"Ah. Kevin. Stop... Please..... I'm gonna. Oh God. " Kevin pulled off of my cock just as I started to cum. The first 2 shots hit him squarely on the chin, the rest landed on my stomach. After I lowered my back onto the bed again, he took me in his mouth, all the way down. I gasped. He squeezed his lips together on his way back up and help some of my cum in his mouth. He came up to kiss me, letting me taste myself.
"Now, I have some of you with me." he said kissing me. He jumped up and got a washcloth and wiped us off and then climbed back in.
"Time for a nap." he said as the laid back down on my chest.
"But, uh, isn't there something you'd like me to do first?" I asked.
"Yes, but there's only 2 ways that I can do that. One is by getting fucked. The other is fucking someone. I've never been able to cum from oral sex. And since we aren't ready for that step yet, it makes the anticipation so much better." he said, snuggling closer to me.
"I feel bad though." I said.
"Just hold me silly. We could never have sex again and I'd still be happy holding you." he grabbed onto me more.
"Liar. But, I appreciate the sentiment." I laughed.
"Josh. I love you."
"Ditto" I said, just like he asked me too. But, I mean it. I just can't make myself say it.....yet.
We drifted off to sleep and awoke just in time to take a shower and head off to the meeting with the lawyers to sign my contract.
We arrived back at the hotel and went to find the guys. As usual, they were getting trounced by Nick in some video game. Why they succumb to his beatings I have no idea.
"You're just humoring him aren't you guys?" I asked as we sat down to watch them all play.
"Pretty much. But it's fun to get our asses licked, umm, kicked." Howie said, looking around and hoping that the others were too engrossed in the game to have caught that slip up.
Howie smiled to himself, thinking that he was safe.
"Yeah, it is fun to watch them croak. And don't think that any of us missed that Howie" A.J. said, not looking up from the t.v.
I could see Howie blushing.
"Well, who wants some scoop on Nsync?" Kevin asked.
"Me Me." Brian said, not too enthusiastically.
"Now now. Control yourself." Kevin laughed. "They're not bad guys"
"I know. I just get tired of the 'battle of the bands' thing that the reporters all say about us. They try to make everything that we do a competition. It gets a bit annoying. I guess that I'm not looking forward to the hype once they start the tour with us next month." Brian explained.
"Next week you mean" Kevin corrected him.
"Huh?" Brian stopped playing the game. "It was supposed to be next month."
"That's my news. It got pushed up a couple of weeks to get us together at some really large stadiums." Kevin explained.
"Well, I for one am looking forward to meeting them. I've always thought that Joey was kinda cute." I said, taking a seat beside Kevin.
"Pardon me? Something you wanna tell me dear?" Kevin asked, turning to look at me.
"No. Nothing comes to mind." I replied.
"You're evil sometimes you know." Kevin said.
I giggled at his comment and hugged him. "You know you're the only one for me. Who the hell else will put up with me?"
"I'm kinda looking forward to having them here to. I always have fun when they're around." Howie said, setting down the controller.
"So when do they join us?" he asked Kevin.
"Next week when we're in New Orleans. Then for the rest of the American tour."
"I to go and call in and check things out with the folks. I'll see y'all later" I said, getting up and walking back to our room.
I picked up the phone and dialed Mark's number first.
Damn. I hate talking to his machine. "Hi. This is Mark's machine. I've talked. Now it's your turn. BEEP."
"Hey bitch, it's me. Where the hell are you? Here I take time out of my busy schedule away from the best job ever and you're not even there. Call me. I have my cell phone. Love you dear."
After a lovely, uneventful conversation with my mother, I decided to settle down for a little nap.
I didn't hear the door but I felt someone get into bed with me. I rolled over and grabbed him into a hug.
"About time. I was getting lonely." I said, groggily.
"Sorry. I thought that you'd still be on the phone and I didn't want to interrupt." Kevin answered as he snuggled closer to me.
"But, I did come here for something else. Howie wants to know if you'll have some time to chat with him this evening?"
"I think that I can squeeze him into my busy schedule." I mumbled into Kevin's neck.
I woke up sometime later all alone again. Then I heard the shower running. I got my ass out of bed and staggered toward the bathroom. I could hear Kevin singing
I opened the bathroom door slowly and quietly took off all my clothes. I ripped open the shower curtain and said, "Want some company?"
"Ahhhh. Geez. You scared me half to death." Kevin screamed as he backed up against the back of the shower.
I, of course, just about fell on the ground laughing.
"I'm sorry really. <giggle> I really didn't think that I'd scare you. <chuckle>" I replied.
Kevin pulled me into the shower and kissed me. "I love you, you know." he said in between kisses.
I slid my hands slowly down his chest and found what I was looking for. Not that it was all the difficult to find. It was poking me in the stomach.
A moan escaped his lips as I started to stroke him. "Good thing we're in the shower 'cause I'm about to get you dirty" I said as I sank to my knees and took him in my mouth. I slowly took him inch by inch into my mouth until felt his hair tickle my nose. I slowly pulled him out of my mouth and proceeded again, this time a little quicker. I could hear him moaning above me and we started into a quicker rhythm. He was thrusting his hips back and forth and I just let him go at his own pace, enjoying every minute. I ran my hands up and down his legs and reached around and grabbed onto his ass. He clenched, forcing him deeper in my mouth. I massaged his ass with my hands and ran my fingers over his hole. This got a deeper groan from him. I gently slipped the tip of my index finger inside him. I felt him tense up and then relax. I slid my finger in further and felt the warmness of him around my finger. I started moving my finger in and out to the rhythm that he was using on me and I could feel his balls tighten up and the it happened, he let out one final moan and exploded inside my mouth, stopping the movement of his hips. I kept moving my finger in and out and swallowed as much as I could. Kevin collapsed back against the wall and let out a sigh. He pulled me up to him and kissed me.
"God that was amazing. Why didn't I meet you a long time ago?" he said as he stroked my face.
"I know what you mean." I answered.
We kissed a few more times and then took turns washing each other. We got out and dried off. We dressed and then went to catch a bite to eat.
Howie knocked on our door soon after we got back. Kevin went and answered it and excused himself to give us some privacy.
"So. What's on your mind?" I asked him.
"Well, remember that you said that I could talk to you anytime about my feelings and all? I kinda have some questions and stuff for you. Is that okay?" he asked.
"Howie, anything for you bud. You know that. Sit down and ask away." I replied, pointing at the sofa.
"Well. I suppose that I just wanna talk really. Just have someone listen. It's a bit odd with the guys. They know me too well and all. I just kinda wanted a new person to talk to. Someone that doesn't know me and won't make assumptions. Does that make sense?" Howie said, taking a seat.
"Perfect sense." I answered.
"I've always known that I like guys and girls. But, I wasn't comfortable acting out my feelings with guys. I mean, I haven't even kissed a guy yet. I've just had all these feelings. And see, well, I've kinda had a crush on someone for a while now and I think that I wanna do something about it but I'm not sure how. I mean, I don't even know if he's gay or bi or whatever." Howie said, looking me right in the eyes.
It was kinda of errie, he didn't look away during anything he said. "Is it anyone that I know? I asked him.
"No. You haven't met him yet. But you will soon. It's one of the guys from NSYNC. We've kinda been emailing each other back and forth for a while, ever since we heard that we were gonna be on tour together. I just...I dunno. I wanna tell him, because I don't think that he'd mind, even if he isn't gay. But, it's so scary to me. I don't want him to not like me or get all freaky around me. Know what I mean? And no, it's not Justin." Howie said me.
"I know what you mean. It can be kind of scary. Tell you what. Let me feel out the situation when they get here and let me get some vibes from them and I'll let you know what I think." I replied.
"Thanks. That's too cool of you." Howie said, smiling at me.
"And, I didn't think that it was Justin. Ok. I did. But you didn't need to guess." I laughed.
"So, which one is it?" I asked him.
"Guess" he replied.
"I honestly would have said Justin just because everyone seems to like that one. Wait one sec." I said, running to our bedroom.
I came back with a CD. "Let me look at all of them and I'll try to guess." I said, pointing at their CD.
I held the CD up to my face so that I could see Howie's reaction when I said their names. I was doing my best to be sly.
"Hmm. Chris.(no reaction) J.C. (again nothing) We've ruled out Justin. Then there's Lance. (That was it. His eyes got a twinkle in them) and Joey. I would have to guess Lance. He's by far the cutest one anyway. Well, besides Joey, hehehe. I'm partial to dark haired men though. Am I right?"
"I guess so. Well, I'll scope things out with scoop. That's what they call him isn't it?" I asked him.
He nodded yes.
"Thanks. You're too awesome. I feel so much better now." Howie said as he hugged me and headed for the door.
"Anything for you and send my man back in here will you ?" I said as he opened the door.
"No problem and thanks again." he said with a huge grin on his face.
A few minutes later, Kevin came into the room.
"Everything good with Howie?" he said, sitting in my lap on the sofa.
"It appears that our little Howie has a huge crush on someone" I said. "A certain someone from a rival group. A certain someone that will be on tour in a week or so. A certain blond haired boy singer"
"Really. Has a thing for Justin does he?" Kevin asked.
"Wrong. That was my guess to. But, it's Lance." Kevin looked at me oddly. "I know. Caught me off guard too. He wants to tell him but he's scared. So, I told him that I would scope things out and let him know what I think." I said, wrapping my arms around Kevin.
"You're a good person you know. You're sweet." Kevin said and leaned up to kiss my blushing face..
We went to bed somewhat early because the guys had an autograph signing and a concert to do the next day. It would be my first real day at work. I was so excited that I barely slept at all.
End of Chapter 9.
Ok. There's the next chapter. Comments are always appreciated. Hope that you enjoyed it.