Date: Sat, 22 Jul 2000 03:45:27 GMT From: Lukas Johnson Subject: 'Lance's Life' Scene 1 { by Lukas Johnson} [Part 1 of ?] Lance's Life Part 1 By Lukas Jonathan Johnson Hey guys... this is my first attempt at writing a great story for the nifty archive. I hope that the story is enjoyable to you as it is to me. If there are any questions or comments about anything, please feel free to let me know. I love hearing things about my work and I would love to answer back to you and explain anything. I reply to all email...so drop me a line... what do you have to lose? Email Lukas at: sabiasmith@hotmail.com Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were true... this story is a complete work of fiction and is not intended to imply anything about Lance Bass or anyone in Nsync. We don't know if they are gay or not, and it is not up to us to determine that, so for now... this story doesn't state anything about the TRUE sexuality of these great people. :) Also, if you shouldn't be reading this...don't. Then again if you shouldn't be reading this why did you go through all the links to get to this story anyway? Before I go on, I just wanted you guys to know that Nsync doesn't really appear in the first scene. They make an appearance in a piece of part one and then they appear more in part two... so your patience is appreciated because I am still trying to set up the mood of the story. Now on with the show! Scene 1- Suicide Attempt Lukas was distraught. His boyfriend of one year was gone. Robert and him were very much in love. They had planned on spending the future together. They had loved each other unconditionally for a long time. There was trust, honesty, communication, and commitment; the things that all relationships should have had. He woke up to a note on the pillow that sent shivers down his spine. Lukas couldn't believe that he was gone. Robert wasn't the person that he had thought he was. What happened to the loving, caring man that he had fallen for before? Lukas sat at working sifting through paperwork. Memories of the first meeting came to mind. It was his birthday the year before and Lukas was feeling pretty down. He had just turned 18 years old and had really nowhere to go and nothing to do. He had a semester left of high school that he just didn't want to finish. The kids at school taunted and teased him because he was different from the other guys. So what if he didn't like football and basketball? Those sports were stupid to him and he just didn't understand the idea of running after a ball to keep entertained. Lukas decided to give his life to the arts. Music, art, and theatre were things that kept his interest and had meaning and were an important part of his life. Kids at school thought it queer for a guy to be interested in all that kind of stuff because real men played sports. Lukas remembered doing great numbers like Grease, Our Town, and Romeo and Juliet. Classics. Plays that everyone remembered. Nothing was more fun for him than to get up in front of a crowd and to give everything you had. The idea of playing a role and getting into character was magical and fun. It was the one time he felt that he could actually be himself. He not only loved performing in the plays, but he also loved to do the music to them. What would Grease be like with out Music? Music was soul to Lukas. He felt that life would be dead without music. He loved a variety of different music and tended to be very eclectic. His favorite band was Nsync. Not only did he love the music to Nsync, but also he loved how this new band danced and worked together on stage. They were a phenomenal group. Music did something to Lukas that he did not quite understand, but he was addicted. Lukas also loved doing the set design and setting up a new world for any audience to see. There was also something about art that Lukas quite did not understand. Different people saw art as different things, but Lukas took it all in. He took all his frustrations and emotions into his work and the worst in him turned out the best in his work. He loved creating different views of life into the stage so people could interpret the story. It was very exciting for him. The drama, the music and the art: how he loved doing these things! Just because he loved doing it didn't mean that everyone agreed with that. So what if his car got vandalized a couple of times? Lukas blew it off most of the time, but sometimes the messages taunted him. Red letters sending instant messages to those who could see: F-A-G!!!! The letters ran across his mind over and over again. Like a bad dream that wouldn't go away, the word...FAG.... appeared ...FAG...FAG... Lukas didn't understand why people would do this to him. He never came out to anyone. He had never told a soul about his sexuality. Was he that obvious? Or were his classmates just looking for an excuse to cause trouble, to scapegoat him, and make him feel unwanted? Not that he objected to the idea of males being with males because he was still exploring a side of him that nobody would let him be. Why is it a problem? Why is FAG such a big insult? Why do the people he went to school with for 13 years want to hurt him so and make him feel ashamed and insecure about himself? Over and over Lukas thought about being gay. Did it matter whom you were with, just as long as you were happy. Why did everyone make such a big deal about a small thing? Homophobic people bothered Lukas, and with people like that around he knew that he was in for it and vandalism was bound to happen. Stuff like that had being going on for months now and Lukas wanted it all to go away before anything else had happened. He had a plan, a plan to kill himself and make everyone else in the world happier and FAG free. That would show them all and it would make Lukas happy too. He found a bottle of his dead father's heart medication in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. It read: take one pill every 48 hours not to exceed 2 pills in any 64-hour period. It was strong stuff. Lukas knew that there was a lethal dose waiting to help him, to make everyone pay. He had everything planned from beginning to end. His plan was to make it look like that he had just had a bad birthday and the he would want to end it all. Little did anyone know, that it had been planned perfectly for weeks. He would come home after his performance of Our Town, skip out on the cast party, and go home and die... Lukas hadn't counted on Robert to ruin his plan. Lukas stepped out of his house and into his car. His birthday hadn't been the greatest. "Happy 18th," he thought to himself. "What a way to go." He rolled down the window to his dirty blazer and looked into the sunset. It was beautiful. He took a deep breath and smelled the fresh Idaho air: no smoke, no smog, no pollution, and just fresh natural air. There was no place like home. He had kissed his mother for what he thought would be the last time, she wished him luck on his performance and he walked out the door. Now sitting in his car, Lukas's life had flashed before his eyes. He never thought that anyone's life, especial his life, could actually flash for that long. He saw people, his family.... his good friends and his classmates. He had just wished that he knew for sure what love was and knew that he would never experience the feeling of loving someone or having someone love him. Relationships were the most impossible thing for him at this period of time. He had only hoped that he would have found someone during his life that he could have something to share with and had something common with. A single tear fell down his face as he thought about his wish...while off in the distance a lonely star heard the wish and twinkled for the nighttime sky that would soon be there. *** Far away on the other side of the country, a young man was sitting in the darkness thinking about his life. Wondering if he would ever find the love of his life in a world like his. He looked up to the sky and saw the same star shine brightly in the night and knew at once Lance knew that his wish had been granted. *** "Hey Luke," a voice called out to him. Lukas stared at the walls thinking about his nighttime mission. "Hey Lukas...." The voice called to him again. Lukas stared into space, not hearing the voice beckoning him back to earth. "Lukas!!" The voice screamed into his ear. Lukas jumped. "Holy Shit, Mel." He yelped. He hadn't been expecting Mel to come around like that; she was his high school best friend. They had been through a lot together since the first time they had met. Mel was kind of an outcast; she was very liberal and spoke her mind. This attitude to life was way unheard of in their mid-sized religious town. Not only was Mel outspoken, but she was an atheist too. The fact that she was an atheist was worse to the community than anything else. Talks of hell and fire quickly came into topic whenever Mel had appeared anywhere in town. She didn't believe in a god that everyone else in town believed in. In the city they lived only one religion dominated all and anyone who disagreed was quickly put out. Lukas thought that was the reason that he and Mel got along so well was the fact that they were both outcasts. His family was not religious either and had been looked down because of it. The rest of the town warmed up to the family when they finally conformed and switched churches, but Lukas wouldn't conform. So he and Mel became friends and were buds for a long time. "Sorry, Mel," Lukas called. "But I had other things on my mind." "Well, if I were you," Mel stated. "I would be thinking about the show and thinking about how not to fuck it up." Mel smiled. "I think our talent scouts are checking us out tonight." Mel was beautiful! She was the serpent according to the people in town. She was the beauty that no man could resist, but inside evil lurked and lived wanting to spread like disease or wildfire. Mel had gorgeous blonde hair that was shiny and beautiful and green eyes that flashed and sparkled. She was the girl that every guy would dream of and every girl wanted to look like. This aspect also caused a lot of people to dislike here. How could anyone that beautiful not conform to the rest of the town? Lukas just liked her because they got a long. Another reason why there were such good friends was because of their love for the theatre arts. Mel and him had planned to go to the University of Idaho in the fall to major in Music and Theatre. With Mel's good looks and Lucas's great acting ability, they were bound to succeed. The university had the best theatre and music programs in the state and they had wanted to be all over it. They had both received full ride scholarships to these programs and were both excited about it. They had received letters that people from the department of theatre would come to the show to make sure that they had potential for their program and to see what they could do for the university. It was a big deal not only for Mel and Lukas, but everyone else in town was going to show up to see what would happen. "Don't worry, Mel. Everything will be just fine." Lukas held his breath. He didn't want to make any promises that he just couldn't keep. Lukas went into the costume and makeup room to get ready. He really didn't have too much to worry about costume and makeup wise because he was the stage manager in the show. He was excited because he and Mel had been cast together to play the role of stage manager. It was a new twist to the play and had been really beneficial to the entire story. The original play had the stage manager as one character, but with the two of them it made the show more sexual biased to have a lead male and female stage manager. He was glad that his costume was just pretty typical. Since the play took place about the late 1800's the costumes were pretty simple. There were no sets in the play or props so it made the show more interesting to imagine what the characters were doing. Lukas was disappointed when he walked into the room. Tom was in the room. Lukas sighed. Tom was an awesome actor. He was probably one of the best, but the only problem was that he was also in the varsity football team. He was the best of the best and he was hot. He had blue eyes like the bright sky and platinum hair and a smile that could light up any room. He had a nice body that Lukas had admired the year before in PE class and he couldn't get his mind off his nicely developed pecs and his hard washboard stomach. His stomach churned every time Tom walked into the room. Lukas hated him not for being good looking, but for other things. He thought that Tom was the reason that everyone talked. He had winked at Lukas a couple of times in the locker room the year before when he had caught him looking at him. Lukas had always tried to be inconspicuous when looking at Tom, but sometimes he just couldn't help himself. Words were never said, but Lukas just had this feeling that Tom had opened his mouth. On that note, Lukas had always wondered if he was bi because he had caught Tom looking at him as well. What could he do? Tom was the costume and makeup guy so he couldn't leave the room. He stood in the hot room shirtless and sweating making his hot, hard body shine in the room. Lukas made sure that he didn't have a boner and proceeded into the room. Every time that Lukas had gone into the same room as Tom, he always felt uncomfortable and that something was going to happen. Almost a bad omen every time he saw him. "Hey Lukas," Tom called. "I have your costume ready. Strip down to your shorts." "Thanks." Lukas called back. He didn't want to take his clothes off in the same room that Tom was in, but he had to get ready so he dropped his pants and pulled off his shirt. The one thing that Lukas was pretty confident about was his own body. He had worked out some, but most of his muscles in his body were from throwing sets around and getting shows ready. He noticed Tom looking. "Wow," Tom admired. That threw Lukas off guard. Tom walked over to him and looked him up and down. "You have really filled out since freshmen year." He put his hand on his body and ran it up and down his chest feeling the muscles in stomach and chest. "You really have been working out haven't you?" His hand stopped at his underwear line. Tom smiled. "I have been watching you for awhile...and you really have filled out." His eyes moved down to Lukas's crotch and his hand stayed at the waistline. Lukas had never felt so uncomfortable in his entire life. "Working on sets is a real workout." He just wanted Tom to leave him alone. He hated the way that he was looking at him always trying to make him uncomfortable. Lukas always played cool like it didn't bother him, but in actual reality he had a raging hard on and his breath was getting shorter. "Five minutes to places." The back stage crew had announced as they ran by the rooms. "Thank God," Lukas muttered. Tom smiled. "Here, let me help you with these." He grabbed Lukas's costume. "I'm fine, Tom." Lukas said shortly taking away the costume. "I can manage myself." "I'm sure you can," Tom teased his eyes never leaving his package. Lukas quickly threw on his costume and quickly got ready for the show. ***** Thank god the show was over! Lukas felt that it had been a long night. He had flubbed his lines twice and Mel had gotten him out of the mess both times in seconds never missing a beat. So he had hoped that no one else had noticed. What did it matter? It was his final performance anyhow. So now he sat backstage thinking about his plan, wondering what was going to happen the next day. His thoughts were of mostly Mel. He couldn't let her down. Her dream was so full and rich to be successful and to have fun only with her best friend Lukas by her side. What was he getting himself into? "Nice work out there, moron." Mel cracked. "Do I have to do the show by myself?" Backstage was quiet. Everyone else had gone to the doors to meet their people. Meaning going to the exits so the audience would give their comments. In a town like that they were always good comments. The show had apparently been a hit. Lots of people were talking and crying as they were leaving the show. The ending was good and always left the crowd with a tear or two in their eyes. "Sorry, Mel." Lukas said quietly. "I'm just not myself tonight. I don't know what came over me. Usually I never let my personal life interfere with my acting. Sorry you had to rescue me." Lukas smiled. "Actually, I was just checking to see if you were there for me." "Yeah, right." Mel laughed. "I am always here for you buddy, always and forever. We are going to do well together. When we go to school, everyone will be jealous and want to be famous like us someday. Nobody will make outcasts of us again, nobody!" "Thanks for the encouragement, Mel." Lukas smiled. "Let's go meet our people." Lukas cringed. He thought about the comment that Mel had just made. What was he going to do to her when he left? He was afraid of the answer. They walked to the exits and were overcome by the amount of people that had come to the show. The plays at high school always drew a crowd, but there seemed to be more people than usual. Mel pointed out two people in the audience that looked like scout material. They were older in their twenty's or thirty's. They looked very official in suits. One man, the younger one, had a goatee and was dressed nicely in a black suit. The other one was a little older and graying and had a blue suit on. The looked very excited and pleased with what they had just seen. Mel was getting excited. Lukas didn't hear what Mel was saying, but was focusing on the young man with the two scouts. He was a god. He was about six feet tall and had dark blonde hair. He was dressed preppy in khakis and a green wool sweater. He couldn't see his eyes, but saw the smile that accented his eyes and he was taken aback. Was this love at first sight? The two scouts caught their eye and had walked over to them and started complementing and thanking them for the performance. Telling them just how enjoyable it had been. The entire time the young man stood aside and looked at Lukas, their gazes locked. Nothing else seemed to matter. *** "Oh my god!" Lukas was thrown against the wall in the hotel room. Robert, who Lukas came to find out the name of the good-looking mysterious guy, had pinned him up to the wall and kissed him. Robert's hands expertly traveled down Lukas's body feeling him for all it was worth. Lukas was in pure ecstasy. He had never felt this way before. It was a strange feeling of lust and love and all his emotions put together. Robert's mouth traveled down to Lukas's neck, generating moans and groan's from his most sensitive part. Robert then traveled to his ear and nibbled every so slightly eliciting more groans from his new lover. The night had been awesome. The scouts took Mel and Lukas out to dinner and talked about the good things that they had done and then some room for improvements. Dinner was delicious and the conversation never seemed to die. The entire time Lukas stared at Robert and wondered about him. He had this vibe about him, the gaydar in him had bleeped several times, but Lukas wasn't sure. He was still new at this and nothing was certain. After dinner the scouts decided that they were going to go back to the hotel. Robert offered to drip Mel and Lukas off at home before heading back to the hotel. Lukas was excited because he wanted time alone with Robert. So they left the restaurant and head toward Mel's house and then headed back to Robert's hotel room. Nothing was said; only a kiss as they entered his room and Lukas knew that it was definite. Robert stepped back and pulled Lukas's shirt over his head exposing the body that Tom had admired earlier. Robert ran his hand up and down his torso ever so slightly. He directed his lips to the erect nipples and started nibbling and kissing and sucking them lightly first and then harder making Lukas moan some more. Robert stepped back again and stopped. "Lukas," Robert panted. "Wow." Lukas caught his breath. "Oh, wow. I'm sorry; I am usually not that submissive. We just barely met. We should take this slow." Robert agreed. Every since then Lukas and him had talked about everything and had become the best of friends and then lovers. They talked about Lukas's plans and how similar to Roberts that hey had been. He too had wanted to go into theatre and that was one of the reasons that he went to the show. They slept together that night, no sex, but just holding each other and listening to the sounds of each other breathing. "Happy Birthday, Lukas." Robert kissed his lips lightly and fell into sleep. *** Lukas had quickly come back to reality. His paperwork had piled up to mountains on his desk and he was not going to get anything done. He couldn't believe that Robert had left without saying anything. Nothing had happened or was said about being unhappy in the relationship. Things were going great and they were talking about being committed to each other. The note had left the impression that they didn't have anything in common and that he never really loved him. Tears welled in his eyes. How could he say that to me? Lukas thought. I thought he loved me. It just didn't sound like the Robert he knew. "Hey Luke," someone called. "You look like shit, Go home." Lukas took the opportunity to go home. He quickly grabbed his personal items and walked to his dirty blazer. He sat in the car and just cried. He had never cried for so long. He thought about what Robert had done for him. He had made Lukas happy for a year. Lukas never tried committing suicide ever again with Robert on his side even when things had reached its lowest point. He knew that Robert was the reason why he was still living today. Even through the bad, Lukas had still kept his cool with his boyfriend on his side. He would never forget how Robert had helped him through Mel's death. *** Lukas remembered the day that Mel had died. It was raining outside. The weather had fit the mood of the day. It was a few weeks after Lukas's birthday. The end of the day was near and everyone was anticipating graduation. Lukas and Mel had decided that they were going to walk together. The class was congratulated for finishing school and they were released into the world. It was a great ceremony. Everyone was joyous and excited that the time had finally come. Mel was way excited. This meant that their dream was going to come true sooner than they had thought. "Whoo hoo!!" Mel screamed into the sky when they were finally released from the gymnasium. It was still drizzling, but nothing could damper the mood of the day. They were now adults. "YEA!!!!" Lukas screamed alongside with Mel. Getting hugs and kisses from all their friends and family. Robert had come up behind the two and pulled them into a hug, giving each of them a kiss. "Congrats." He smiled. He was proud of his two best friends. They had finally made it! Now their dream was going to come true. All of them were going to go to school together and get an apartment and live with each other while they went to the university. They had everything planned. It was great, the moment was perfect and nothing could go wrong for them. Tom had walked up to them. Robert's grip tightened on Lukas's side. Tom held out his hand to Lukas. "Congrats, Luke." Lukas took his and shook. "No hard feelings?" "I guess not," Lukas said calmly. "Nothing can ruin this moment." Tom turned to Mel. "Hey beautiful." "Fuck off." Mel returned. "No hard feelings?" Tom asked "Fuck you." Lukas found out that the night that he and Robert were getting to know each other. Mel had sneaked out of her house and went to the cast party to get drunk. Tom saw Mel there and things were going good. Mel had thought that Tom wasn't as big as a jerk as he lived up to be. He was actually a gentleman and had helped her throughout the night when she was drunk. Then the unthinkable happened, Mel and Tom had sex in a bathroom of the pizza place they were partying at. Ever since Tom had gotten a piece from Mel, he had been a jerk to her. No one had ever found out that Tom was desperate enough to go to an "outcast" for sex, but he still leered at her after that. "Come on, Mel..." Tom smirked. "I already did." Robert held Lukas back. "Aw..." Tom taunted. "Boyfriend saves the day..." He laughed and walked away. "See you at the grad party." Mel steamed. "I hate that fucker. God I hate him. I wish that nothing had ever happened!" Lukas put his arms around his crying friend. "It's ok, Mel. We'll never have to deal with him again. We are going to Idaho and nobody we know will ever bother us again. We'll never have to see that snake again." Lukas had found out that Tom had gotten a full ride football scholarship to Notre Dame. The chances of them ever seeing him again were slim unless they went to a reunion. Lukas just hoped to god that it was true. "Thanks Lukas." Mel returned the hug. Little did she know it was the last time that she would ever hold her friend again. *** The trio decided that they were going to go to the party anyway just to say goodbye to some friends. As soon as they got there they knew that it was going to be a mistake. A lot of people had decided not to show up and for the most part it was mostly jocks and preppies at the party saying goodbye to each other and see you at Harvard and Yale. So the three decided that it was going to be a bust and that they weren't going to be a part of it. Lots of people were drinking alcohol and drunken people lined the sidewalks of the country club. Good thing the party was out where nobody would see; the club never got busted because it was the only money that they made from the students all year. They were about to head out the door when Mel paused. "Hold on a sec," Mel stopped. "I have to pee." The guys smiled. "Sure, Mel. We'll wait here." The hall was dark and secluded and Robert pulled Lukas in for a kiss. "Mmmmm." Lukas murmured. He felt Robert's lips touch his. Slowly his tongue entered his mouth then more forcefully. He kissed him hungrily and greedily. Robert ran his hand down Lukas's back feeling the muscles in his back. He felt Lukas sigh and arch his back. He kneaded the muscles in his back and continued his assault on his lover's body. He moved his hands to the front of Lukas's shirt and felt his hard nipples. Lukas groaned as Robert pinched and twirled them in his fingers. Robert placed his hand on his stomach and made his way down the trail where he knew it would lead to treasure. He then ran his hands to Lukas's growing bulge and kneaded it and massaged it, watching it swell. "Oh my God," Lukas said in struggling breath. "What do we have here?" Robert teased. They quickly came back to reality when they heard something behind them. They turned and saw Mel arguing with someone back at the party. Lukas was curious because Mel seldom argued with anyone, especially at a public place, especially with this crowd. Lukas ran over to Mel worried to what he might come to. It was Tom. "Hey Lukas," Tom smiled. "How are you?" "Shut up, Tom." Lukas said bitterly. "Let's go, Mel." "Don't leave the party yet." Tom put his hand on Lukas's arm and gripped lightly. "We have all night to say goodbye properly." His hand moved down Lukas's arm. Lukas pulled his arm back. "Right, Tom, in your dreams. Come on Mel." Lukas drug Mel back to where Robert was standing. Mel had tears in her eyes. "Why did I ever go and do such a stupid thing? Why am I so stupid." Mel was sobbing. "I thought that for once that somebody would like me for who I am and we would live happily ever after...but I guess that's just fairy tales." "What happened back there, Mel?" Robert asked. "I have never heard you scream like that to anyone in public." Mel smiled through her tears. "I hope I embarrassed him." Then her face grew more solemn. "He told me that I was a good lay and that he would like to have sex with me once more before we all left. So I told him no and he called me a slut. Nobody calls me that!" "Let's go and really celebrate." Lukas said. "We have the whole night to celebrate!" The night was actually a beautiful night. The rain had cleared and there were a couple of clouds in the sky and it was gorgeous. The stars shone down on the trio as they crossed into the parking lot. Lukas looked up and smiled. Despite all the trouble, it had been a pretty good day. They were graduated. Robert was the best guy that anyone can ask for. He was so perfect and supported everything that Lukas had wanted to do. He even made good friends with Mel as well and Mel had a hard time warming up to people. Then there was Mel. His bestest friend in the whole entire world. She had nurtured him and helped him through so many problems, and he was so glad that she had decided to stick by his side. University was going to be so much fun for all of them. Back at the party Pearl Jam's "Last Kiss" was playing. What a depressing song to play, Lukas thought. Out of a nowhere a car backfired into the night it sounded like a gunshot. "Holy shit!" Mel jumped. Lukas turned around. A truck with no lights on was coming their way! The driver of the car had a look on his face that was twisted with pure hate. The driver was no other than Tom. He was coming at them. Lukas had no idea why. Why would Tom do such a thing? They stood their ground, deer in the headlights, wondering what to do. Would Tom really run them down? Before anyone could react, Lukas reached for Mel's hand and squeezed as Tom raced by. "Fucker!" Robert screamed running after him. "Robert!" Lukas called. "Come back!" Mel was steaming. "What the hell does he think he's doing?" Lukas was at a loss for words, which never happened. He was still trying to figure out what was going on. Up ahead the truck came was racing toward them again. Apparently Tom had turned around and now he was coming back for them. Lukas looked around. Where was Robert? He was now scared. As the truck raced at them Lukas tried to pull Mel back into the bushes with him but it was unsuccessful. Lukas fell into the bushes alone and saw Mel's body like a limp rag doll fly through the air on impact. She landed on the windshield face first and glass and blood went everywhere then she fell onto the cold, hard ground. "No!!" Lukas cried. "No! Mel!" Lukas ran to where her body had landed. She was a mess. Lukas cried, tears running down his face. "Oh, Mel." He grabbed her hand and looked at her bloody face into her eyes. The eyes looked back. Tears were running down them as well. "Luke," Mel whispered. "I hurt." "I know, Mel." Lukas whispered back. "I don't know what to do." "I love you honey." Mel whispered softly. "Thanks for always being here for me. Thank for everything." Her voice came out in softy breaths, whistling through missing teeth. She coughed spitting up blood. "No, Mel. Be strong. Be strong like you always are." Lukas sobbed. "We make it through everything...come on Mel." "I love..." Mel stuttered. "Be good..." "NO!!" Lukas screamed. "NO!! Don't do this to me. Don't leave me...I can't do it. NO!!" Mel's eyes looked at him for one last time and slowed closed. Lukas screamed into the nighttime as the sound of the ambulance slowly drowned him out. *** Lukas was sobbing now. He knew that it was time to go home. The thought of Mel's death had now brought him down. What a day. Robert had comforted Lukas through the entire night. Lukas had found out that Robert had run down to the party to call the cops after he ran after Tom. Robert had called the cops and told them about the psycho that was going after them. As he was talking he saw the truck turn back into the lot and with light on raced after the two. It was then that Robert had told them to bring an ambulance as well. Lukas cried and cried. He couldn't believe that his best friend was dead. Tom was arrested and sent to jail to rot for the night. It was hardest after the funeral. Lots of people surprisingly showed up. It was still hard. It was months until Lukas could actually get back into the program. It was then that school had started again. Robert and Lukas had gotten an apartment and continued with their degree. It was just not the same without Mel. Lukas put his car into gear. It had been one year since Mel's death. Why was it still so hard? Why did Robert leave him on this day? His tears blurred his vision as he drove home that night. He pulled into his driveway and made his way into the house. Thoughts of Mel, Tom, and Robert filled his head. The three people who had made his life complicated. His thoughts of Mel, his best friend, flying through the air repeated over and over again. His lovely man, Robert, who had stood by his side through everything...now was gone into the world. Then thoughts of Tom filled his head. He had never told Mel or Robert that he and Tom had done stuff. *** Lukas remembered the day well. PE was the final class of the day and Lukas was glad. It was his time to kick back and relax after a long day. He also liked having PE that hour because Tom was in his class and would work out afterwards. That particular day while Lukas was showering, Tom looked into the shower. "I need someone to spot me," He said. "No one else is here. Lukas walked out of the shower and grabbed his towel. He noticed Tom watching him as he dried himself off and stepped back into his sweaty PE shorts, he decided that he didn't really need a shirt. Little did Lukas know that it would bite back at him later. "I really appreciate it, man." Tom said. "I would hate to break this bod." Yes indeed, Lukas thought. He looked at Tom's body. It was nice. He was about six foot and 180. Tom was shirtless and had a nicely developed six-pack and large hard pecs. He was tanned to top it off and looked perfect. Lukas looked lower and noticed that Tom's shorts were tight and he could see a large bulge. He himself grew a little hard and was thankful that he had loose shorts that couldn't be noticed. "Wow," Tom said. "You really have developed, I never really noticed." He put his hand on Lukas's shoulder and let it linger. "Since when do you work out?" "Oh, I work on sets," Lukas said. "It keeps me tone." "I can see," Tom said looking at Lukas's crotch. Lukas didn't know if Tom was referring to the comment or to the growing bulge. Before anything else could be said Tom pushed Lukas up against the wall. Lukas swore under his breath thinking that it was going to be some kind of joke. Instead Tom pulled Lukas's shorts down around his knees and started rubbing his growing cock. Tom rubbed and rubbed until it reached its full length. "Damn," Tom said. "You are huge." Lukas said nothing, still in shock from this handsome guy rubbing his dick. "Don't worry Lukas, I won't tell and you better not tell anyone about this." With that he got on his knees and put his lips on Lukas's hard 9-inch cock. Lukas let out breath and Tom went farther down on the beast. Lukas could feel Tom's mouth move up and down slowly then quicker on the cock making the engorged dick grow fatter and fatter if even possible. Just at Tom moved all the way down Lukas felt hands travel on unfamiliar territory. He had never had anything like this happen before. He knew he was gay, but always kept to himself not wanted to bring any attention to a big queen. He felt Toms hands on his ass and slowly felt the fingers spread his cheeks and felt on finger trying to enter his hole. "Oh shit," Lukas breathed. It felt fantastic. Tom pulled off. "You like that, huh? Well, you'll like my cock even better. Lukas saw Tom pull down his Calvin Klein Boxer Briefs and saw a sight that made him gasp. Tom's dick was almost as big and wide as his own. Tom spit on his hand and started rubbing his cock. Lukas suddenly came back to reality. He was still confused and didn't know what to do. What was he doing, he thought to himself. He knew whatever it was...it was wrong with Tom. Before anything could be said he grabbed his shorts and darted out of the locker room hearing Tom curse to himself. Lukas stopped outside the door wondering if tom would come after him. Probably not, he decided, but was curious. He opened the door and looked at the mirror on the wall. He could see Tom standing by the locker with his dick in one hand and Lukas's underwear in the other. Lukas noticed that he grabbed his shorts, but forgot his underwear. He couldn't go out in public in just shorts, so he decided to wait tom out. Before he could go hide he saw tom put the underwear to his nose and inhaled deeply. Lukas cock went straight off. Was he hard because tom was sniffing his underwear? Then he saw Tom's hand pump his shaft quickly after a few moments Tom put the underwear to his dick and came and came. Tom put the underwear back into Lukas's locker and threw on his shorts and shirt and left. Lukas quickly hid behind mats and reentered the locker room after Tom had left. He went to his locker and saw the underwear just soaked in cum. Lukas was surprised. Was Tom gay? He always saw him with women, but was he gay? Lukas tossed the underwear into the garbage and grabbed his clothes and left. *** Lukas cried to himself. He never told anyone about that experience. Not even Mel. He just couldn't bring himself to tell Mel any of that, especially after what he did to her. Though the experience happened months before Mel and Tom's incident, he still felt horrible for keeping it to himself. Lukas went to the bedroom where Robert had once kept his stuff. Now everything of his was gone. Lukas was surprised. He thought that Robert could possibly mad and would come back. Did Robert come back for his stuff? Lukas tore open the closet all that remained were the clothes that Lukas owned. Lukas looked closer even all the clothes that he had bought for Robert were in the closet. He picked up a sweater that he had bought for Robert. He put it to his face and could smell Robert's smell; his cologne and body. He burst into tears and thought about how Robert was the only one that kept him safe and calm all of these years. He then knew what he had to do. Robert had kept him from doing what he had planned all along. Lukas walked into the kitchen thinking about all that had bothered him: Mel's death, Robert leaving and Tom...everything about tom. His arrest, his trial, and his sentencing all came to him. He then knew what he had to do. He knew what he had to do. He walked over to the utility drawer and pulled out a butcher knife. "Mel, I miss you so much." Lukas said aloud through tears. Her face came to mind and he knew what he had to do. His whole life for the second time ever flashed before his eyes. He inspected the knife. It was large knife. Silver blade and black handle shone in the dark room as if it was beckoning to him. "Mel," He sobbed. "I miss you so much. I'm coming home to you now." Without even thinking about it, he sliced his wrist holding the knife in his left hand. He slashed the flesh cutting it from wrist to forearm cutting the vein. He repeated the process with his other wrist. Blood poured out of the wounds and onto the floor creating a river of sadness. All of his fears and thoughts flowed down the river of pain. His last thought was of Mel and he smiled, then he fainted and fell face first onto the floor with a splat. Then the room went silent. *** Lance woke up with a start. What the hell, he thought. He was breathing hard and sweat was pouring down his face. "What are you doing," his bedmate asked. Lance and Justin flipped and had lost. Now they were sharing a bed. Damn hotel being overbooked! There were only two rooms available and even though hey were Nsync, they had to listen to the lady at the desk. They didn't want to sleep on the floor and the tour bus was in another state...they were kind of stranded. So they all flipped. Justin and Lance had to share and Chris and Joey had to share. JC was the lucky one and got to have the sofa bed in Joey and Chris's room. "Why did you scream, Lance?" Justin asked. Justin was wearing only a pair of boxers to bed and Lance had to admit that he thought his band member was sexy. His hard, developed body and cute boyish features were enough to drive anyone insane. Lance himself only had a wife-beater and sweats. He was kind of uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as Justin, but hey everyone else in the world wanted to, so he should feel special. "I just had a dream." Lance said softly. "You screamed." "Well," Lance began. "It had something to do with that other dream I had awhile back." "You mean the star dream?" Justin asked. "No," Lance replied. "Though, I think that has something to do with it as well." "What? You are confusing me." "Sorry, Justin." Lance said. " I am still kinda groggy." "Well, why did you scream?" Justin asked again. Lance didn't want to tell him about the guy in the dream that he was attracted to. But what could he do? The place was way unfamiliar and there were no noticeable landmarks. He didn't want to tell Justin he was gay just yet. "Well," Lance began. "There was this guy in my dream..."