Date: Thu, 19 Aug 1999 15:27:23 EDT
From: Hanhm16@aol.com
Subject: Lances love part 5

Disclaimer:  If you are not at least 18 or of legal age to
view sexual content please leave now.  If you are offended
by homosexual experiences or acts this story is not for you.
I am not implying that anyone of the group N'SYNC are gay or
Bi sexual.  This is strictly fictional, all of the
characters are also fictional and for the entertainment of
you, the readers.  Please let me know what you think of this
story -- I really want to hear from you.
Let's Get It On.........

Lances Love
 Part 5

    "Justin, hey I was jus..." Lance started to say but
Justin cut him off.

    "I knew it, I thought you two were looking rather oddly
at each other.  Besides you have never been interested in
the girls that much so we all kinda figured that you were
gay along time ago.  JC was the only one that didn't believe
our suspicions.  I still can't believe this.  I never would
have thought that Lance would be payment for us to staying
here."  Justin said as he started to laugh really hard.  I
couldn't help but laugh but Lance didn't find it very funny.

    "What do you want Justin!?!  What are you doing up so
early anyway you never get up this early unless you have to
and there is no need to get up we are on vacation."  Lance
said somewhat coldly that we were interupted.  I think that
it was wrong of Lance to just say that all of a sudden and
it just sounded so rude.  "AND What do you mean ya'll
figured out that I was gay.  I never said I was gay and
don't think that just because you walked in here and saw me
kissing Chris that I am gay.  That was just me experimenting
and it was a big mistake."  Lance said so coldly and mad
that it scared me so much.  It took me a minute to figure
out that he said he wasn't gay and that the kiss that we
just had meant nothing.  It meant worse than nothing it
meant a tiny ameoba on shit.  I just can't believe that the
man of my dreams would say something to totally murderize me
like that.  I could tell by the look on Justins face that he
was shocked as well.  Man how could he be so crude and not
even think about pour Chris' feelings.

    I ran out of the room and grabbed my suitcase and ran
for the door.  I didn't know it but Justin was following me
the whole way and even got in the car with me.  I drove to
Jamies house.  I was half way there when I realized that
Justin was sitting next to me in the car.  I was driving but
I was so surprised I could see anything through all the
tears I had in my eyes.  Justin just sat there looking at me
with pure concern on his face.  I got to Jamies and used my
key to let me and Justin in.

    "Jamie are you home." I said still with tears running
down my face.  I walked into her bedroom to find that the
bed was made and her room was all picked up and straightened
up.  I walked into the bathroom and saw how much of a wreck
I was.  I had to say that I looked bad real bad.  Justin
just sat on the couch and waited till I came back out in the
living room.  I was just staring at myself and pondering
what just happened at my place.  The whole thing was just so
screwed up.  I thought I lost him, then I had him, then I
lost him again.  I just stood in the bathroom and cried for
about a hour.  Then I finally calmed down and walked back
into the living room to find Justin sitting on the couch
playing with Jamies cat, Piper.  I walked to the kitchen
table to find a note.  It was written by Jamie, it was to
me.

Crispy,                         8-7-99

    Hey boy, listen if you are reading this you have found
out that I am not here in Pcola.  I got a call from Nicole
tonight and she was real upset and everything.  She got
kicked out of her parents place last night and well she is
staying with her sister but she doesn't know how long that
will last.  I am going to see her down in Biloxi for a few
days.  So I asked Dink to come by and feed Piper but that is
only because I couldn't get a hold of you.  So if you are
reading this call my mom and tell her that you will take
care of Piper and that Dink doesn't have to.  I will
probably be back in town Monday or Tuesday.  Nicole will
probably be with me.  I am hoping so much that this might
mean that we can hook up and stay that way for awhile.  She
called me over all of her friends there.  SO that has to
mean something, right.  Well listen I will be calling home
sometime tomorrow.  So if you are there I hope to talk to
you and fill you in on everything that is going on here.  I
gotta get going now or I will not make it there intime to
meet Nicole.

                        Love ya,
                            James  :)


    I was really upset to find out that Jamie was not going
to be here.  I came here not only to get away from Lance but
to talk to her.  I will have to wait for her to call.  I
walked over to the couch and flopped on the couch right next
to Justin.  For some reason Justin reminded me of Lance, and
I can't figure out why.  They don't look nothing alike.  I
just looked at him and started to cry. I leaned my head
against Justins shoulder and just cried.

    "Chris listen for a minute.  Something is really wrong
with this whole picture.  Lance has never acted like this
before in his life.  He has always been so shy and quite.
He is the last person that I would ever think of exploding
like that." Justin said as I tried to stop crying.  Justin
seemed so much more mature than everyone gives him credit
for.  He actually made alot of sense.

    "I know you are probably right.  You have known him
alot longer than me.  It just hurts me so much to think of
him." I said as I stopped crying and started to realize that
it wasn't helping the situation.

    "Yes I have known him longer.  I also know that there
is something between the two of you.  I was really serious
about the whole thing.  The two of you can't just remain
friends it is either he will fight with himself and refuse
everything.  Then it just might all work out." Justin said
looking at me with a face full of concern.  He really does
care about Lance.  Why does Lance run from him like this.
Lance really needs to just be true to himself and let Chris
into his life.

MEANWHILE.......


    What the hell was I thinking?  Why did I blow up like
that?  I like Chris, he is a great guy and I mean it is just
that.  I am so confused.  He never wants to speak to me
again and I know that.  I wouldn't want to speak to myself
if I did that to myself.  Justin only told me the truth.
The truth that I wouldn't admit to myself.  If the guys have
thought that I was gay for years and well the group is still
together.  They have treated me the same way for all this
time.  So why shouldn't I just come out officially.  Chris
is to good for me to just let go.  I have to find him and
talk to him as soon as possible.

    "Lance what was all that noise about and where is
Chris."  JC said as he entered my room to find Lance sitting
on my bed with a sad look on his face.

    "He, he left" Lance couldn't help but start to cry.

    "What do you mean that he left.  What did you say to
him.  I asked you not to fuck with him." JC said as he knew
that he was right.

    "I made a mistake JC.  I had him and I made a huge
mistake." the tears didn't stop in fact they got worse.

    "Lance listen to me what did you say to him to make him
leave."

    "I didn't mean to but Justin walked in on us while we
were kissing and"

    "AND what Lance" JC said as he started to raise his
voice.

    "I was scared.  I am scared.  JC I just..I said I
wasn't gay.  I have been lying to him, to you, and to
myself."  Lance said as he stood and just hugged JC.  Lance
really needed to be comforted at a time like this.

    "Lance I am so sorry I raised my voice at you I
shouldn't have.  I really like Chris and well he really
likes you.  I just want him and you to be happy.  I am also
sorry that I haven't told you that I was gay until now.
Unlike you I have know for sometime now but I was scared
that you and the others wouldn't accept me for who I was but
I don't care now we need to come clean with everyone else."
JC said as he returned a very loving hug to Lance.

    "JC" Lance said still shivering.

    "SHHH don't talk"

    The two just stood in my room and and held each other.
JC felt so bad about yelling at Lance.  Lance was going
threw so much and I didn't help him one bit.  Why was I so
hard on him.  It is a very difficult time for him.  I just
need to be hear for him. It would have been so much easier
if I had someone to talk to and comfort me.  JC thought as
he just held Lance tight.

Back at Jamies......

    I just sat there staring at Justin.  I reached out for
Justin.  He knew that I needed a hug and didn't mind giving
me one.  In the middle of the embrace the phone rang.  I
jumped at the sound.  I think it actually startled me.  I
jumped up and answered the phone.

    "Hello, James place."  I said as I put the phone
against my ear.

    "Crispy oh my god, you are there I am so glad to hear
your voice.  I have so much to tell you."

    "Well I have alot to tell you as well."

    "Well me and Nicole are finally a couple and it is for
good this time.  She is coming back to live with me.  She is
asleep now I kinda wore her out last night."


    "James when will you be back I need you.  I need you
here to tell me everything is ok.  James I really need to
talk to you but I can't do it on the phone please I need
you.  Come home please come home for me."  I said as I
started to cry again.  I knew it couldn't help but it made
me feel better.

    "Crispy are you ok.  What's wrong.  I will wake Nicole
up and I will be there in two hours three tops I swear.
Please just stay there I will be there soon.  When I get
there we will talk.  I promise to you I will talk to you as
long as you need to.  But I gotta go now mmmbye."  Jamie
said with so much concern and worry about me and my well
being.

    "Bye, I love you and hurry back." I said as Justin just
grabbed me and held me as I hung up the phone.

    I sat there in Justins arms for about a hour.  He did
care about what was going on with me and Lance.  I don't
know why I thought that he wouldn't.  Him and Lance have
known each other for four years and they have been friends
since then.  I am glad Justin is here he is the only reason
I haven't gone crazy yet.

    "Chris are you going to be ok.  I mean I understand
what you are going through.  I just wish that Lance could
see what a great guy you are." Justin said as he leaned in
to kiss me.

    "Woooo, Justin what are you doing.  I care alot about
Lance and I thought you knew that.  I am not interested in
you.  Justin please don't make this any harder than it
already is."  I said as I stood and moved to the other
couch.

    "I..I...don't know what came over me.  I got caught up
in the moment.  I am so sorry about that.  I don't want to
ruin what you might have with Lance.  I haven't been close
to anyone in a very long time.  Please forgive me and let us
just forget that this just happened." Justin said while just
letting himself go and stop putting up a front.

    "Justin it is ok.  I am not mad.  You have been here
trying to comfort me for most of the day.  I want you to
know that you never tried to kiss me.  Because you never
did.  Isn't that right." I winked at Justin as I finished my
what I had to say.

    "Yeah it never happened.  Thank you so much." Justin
said.

    "So why haven't you come out yet I mean JC is, Lance
might be but can't make his mind up."

    "What JC is no way you have to be joking."

    "No I am not.  He confessed to me when he came on to
me.  I then told him that I cared to much about Lance to do
anything with him.  Wait you mean that he never told you he
was, oh shit I shouldn't have said anything." I was shocked
to see that Justin didn't know.  JC and Justin have been
bestfriends for years longer than any of the others.

    "I had no idea.  JC never told me that.  I thought I
was his bestfriend.  The two of us have known each other for
six years now and he never once mentioned it."  Justin said
he sounded so hurt that I knew that about JC and he didn't
have a clue.

    "He was probably just scared like Lance but he has to
deal with it sometime or another.  I don't think that he
thought that you would accept him for him."

    "He has always told me everything at least I thought he
did.  I am not mad though I never told him that I have the
hugest crush on him.  I have always looked up to him and
after the first year I started to feel more than just
friendship for him.  I just couldn't bring myself to say
anything about it to him."

    "Well both of you have kept secrets from each other
even though it was the same secret.  You shouldn't be mad at
him.  He didn't mean any harm."  I wish I could have not
said anything I didn't know that it would have made such a
huge fuss.

TBC....

I am sorry that it took so long for this chapter to come
out.  I was asked to make my chapters a little longer so I
did.  I hope everyone enjoys it.  Please let me know what
you think!  Please send me some feedback!  Send all comments
to Hanhm16@aol.com

LEE