Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2000 19:16:39 EDT
From: Kb79@aol.com
Subject: Life's Discoveries Chapter 4, Boybands

DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of fiction. The characters are real people
but are being written in fictional situations. This is not saying anything
about the sexual orientation of anyone mentioned.

WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. If this offends you,
don't read. If you are under 18 years of age, don't read. If reading this
story causes you to break any laws, don't read.

FEEDBACK: We want to know what you think of it so... send us an email!
Kelly's email is Kb79@aol.com. Fred's email is SaetanSaDiablo@aol.com. As most
of you know by now, we are both friendly people who love to chat, so free to
contact either of us at anytime.

Life's Discoveries
Chapter 4
By Kelly and Fred

"Good Morning."

Nick opened one eye slowly. All he saw was a blur of colors. He opened the
other eye and suddenly Kevin appeared, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Good morning Kev. How'd ya get in here?" Nick asked sleepily.

"Spare key. Same as always." Kevin answered simply.

"Oh yeah." Nick began to awaken a little bit. "How ya doin?"

"Alright, I guess. I slept the whole night. How are you?" Kevin asked as he
stretched out a little.

"I'm fine, a little tired." Nick admitted.

"Well... Not to nag, but I did hear you and AJ being rowdy into early hours
of the morning. What time did you go to bed?" Kevin went parental.

"About 2:30, not to late. We were hanging out. Sorry if we kept you up too
late." Nick apologized.

"Nah... I only heard you when I got up to go to the bathroom for a few
seconds. You know under normal circumstances, I can sleep through
anything." Kevin mentioned.

"Yeah, but sometimes AJ, some video games, and I can get pretty loud." Nick
said sheepishly.

"No... it's all good. Don't worry." Kevin gave a small smile.

Nick returned the smile, except his was bright and showed his pearly
whites.

Kevin looked at Nick and it made him smile harder too.

"We're going to have to get up and ready pretty quick. Lance will be here
in an hour and a half." Kevin told him.

"Oh yeah... I almost forgot." Nick hit the palm of his hand to his
forehead. "Oh fuck, but we're all going home today."

"Yeah, I wonder if Howie forgot all about that when he invited Lance to
come be my buddy." Kevin agreed.

"We can always bring him with us. I live in Tampa, it's not so far from
where their five work." Nick offered.

"With us? To your house? To live? For a few day?" Kevin panicked a little.

"Calm down buddy. Yeah, it'll be a slightly tight squeeze with 6 instead of
5, but we'll work it all out, don't worry about anything at all." Nick
assured.

"But Nick, think about..." Kevin began.

"Shh..." Nick put his hand over Kevin's mouth. "If I say it will be
alright, it'll be alright."

Kevin removed Nick's hand from his mouth and gave a look that said he
wanted to disagree. But then he saw how Nick was cocking that one eyebrow,
so warningly, at him, and he had to smile. "Okay Nicky Gene, if you say
so."

"It's just Nick." Nick said sternly. "And it's about time you agreed with
me."

"Sometimes it's the only way to shut you up." Kevin joked.

"Aww... Fuck you." Nick mumbled.

"Language Nicky, language." Kevin joked farther.

"Cut the crap Kev, let's get everyone else up and moving." Nick instructed.

"Two-thirds of the way ahead of you. AJ, I woke up before I got here, and
Howie was already awake and packed before I woke up." Kevin
explained. "Only Brian left."

"Want me to get his sorry ass out of bed?" Nick asked.

"Yes please." Kevin answered.

"Okay, you done packing?" Nick questioned.

"Nah, I came to wake you guys first." Kevin answered.

"Okay, go pack then. I'll get Brian and pack myself. Ok... scatter now."
Nick brushed his hands toward Kevin, shooing him out of the room.

A small laugh twittered from Kevin's mouth, but he listened and left the
room.

Nick quickly threw on clothes and went to Brian's room. He knocked on the
door and waited.

"Hello?" Brian's voice called through the door.

"Brian, it's me, I came to see if you were awake. We only have a little
more than an hour to get packed and ready." Nick told him.

"Hold on, let me open the door." Brian said as he turned the knob.

"Mornin' Frack." Brian smiled weakly.

"Were ya up? Or did I wake ya up?" Nick asked.

"Nah... I've been up for awhile. I didn't sleep to well last night." Brian
answered sadly.

"Oh, I'm sorry Frick." Nick told him.

"It's alright, gave me time to pack. I'm all ready to go." Brian mentioned.

"Awesome. I still have to pack myself. Wanna come to my room and have
breakfast? You can keep me company." Nick asked Brian.

"Yeah, sure, why not." Brian agreed.

"Cool, thanks, let's go." Nick said as he led Brian into his room.

The two boys placed an order to room service for some breakfast. Brian sat
on the bed waiting for it to arrive as Nick busied about packing.

"How's Kevin doing?" Brian asked, breaking the idle chit chat with a
serious question.

"He's alright. Nervous about all 6 of us being at my house, but otherwise
not too bad." Nick told him as he grabbed a pile of what appeared to be
dirty socks and shoved them into a bag.

"The 6 of us?" Brian sounded confused.

"Yeah. Don't forget about Lance." Nick mentioned absently. He had crawled
under a chair, obviously searching for something.

"Oh yeah..." Brian said.

Nick continued to roam around his room and throw things into his
suitcase. Brian had fallen silent again and was twiddling his thumbs
slowly.

Soon there was a knock on the door. A hotel staff person rolled a cart into
the room.

Brian ate breakfast as Nick finished up.

When Nick was finally done, he sat down next to Brian and began to wolf
down his own portion of the food.

"I'm gonna have to find a short term apartment, or a long term hotel
room. I don't think I can stay with everyone. It'll just be to hard." Brian
mentioned as he fiddled with a crust of toast.

Nick laid down his fork and looked at Brian.

"If that's what you really want." Nick said emotionlessly.

Brian's jaw dropped and he looked at Nick in utter surprise.

"You're not going to fight me on this Nick?" Brian asked incredulously.

"No, but don't expect to see any of us at any time but the studio." Nick
said in a hard, biting tone.

Brian looked shocked. "Nick?"

"No Brian, listen, the group has something we all need to get through. The
Group! You are part of that group, and if you aren't there to help out,
then the rest of us are going to have to work extra hours to make up for
it. So... don't expect to see much of us." Nick uttered in his harshest
tone.

Nick stood up and began to throw all of the breakfast things back on the
cart to leave out in the hallway. Then he began to do one last check to
make sure that all of his belongings were packed, and that he was ready to
leave.

Brian just sat on the bed in amazement.

Minutes had past and finally Nick stopped flying around the room. He slowed
down and shot a small glance at Brian.

Brian had been watching him the entire time, so their eyes met. "You don't
give a damn about how I feel do you? All of the sudden only Kevin's
feelings matter? Well you know what? I think that fucking sucks!!! Why have
you been glued to his side through all of this? YOU'RE MY FUCKING BEST
FRIEND, NOT HIS!!!"

"Are you jealous? Is that why you are giving Kevin such a hard time? Is he
taking up too much of my time? That's pathetic." Nick looked at Brian in
disgust.

"I'm not fucking jealous! That is so conceited! I'm far from jealous! I
just wish you were showing me the same consideration you are showing Kevin!
I think I deserve it!" Brian shouted.

"Why do you deserve it? You've been as asshole, a fucking prick." Nick
yelled back.

"I deserve it because as you said, I'm a part of this group! As much a part
as Kevin!" Brian screamed. "Sure Kevin is having a hard time, going through
a lot! But you know what? SO AM I! Maybe I'd like a little support too!!!"

Nick's face went blank. He never dreamed that Brian was feeling
abandoned. Yeah, no one had been giving him much attention lately, but hey,
he was being such a jerk, why should they? But still, Brian was his best
friend, a hugely important part of the group. His feelings still mattered,
even if he wasn't being the nicest person.

Nick sat down next to Brian on the bed. He placed a hand on Brian's
shoulder. Brian flinched away.

"I'm sorry Brian, I haven't been a friend." Nick said as he attempted to
place his hand again.

This time Brian didn't flinch. "Are those words supposed to fix
everything?"

"No, they aren't, and I know that. But, I'll listen now, let me try to be
your support again." Nick tried.

"You'll listen? Listen to what? Maybe I don't have anything to say." Brian
said.

Nick's face fell. "I thought... You had said that later... I thought maybe
you were ready to talk... Fuck I don't know."

"Yeah? Well hell, aren't you articulate all the sudden!" Brian sneered.

Nick removed his hand from Brian's shoulder and sat down on the bed. He
dropped his head into his hands. He really wasn't that happy with his best
friend right now, but he had to try his hardest to be there for him.

Nick jerked his head up when he felt a hand on his back. Brian was looking
at him, the anger was still there in his eyes, but concern showed too.

Nick swallowed hard. "I'm going to take a quick shower. When I'm out, we're
going to talk about this, whatever this is. You have two options, stay and
wait for me to get out, or leave and let me know you really have changed."

Tears filled Brian's eyes. He knew he should talk to Nick, but he was
confused and scared, and there was still so much hate. He watched Nick head
into the bathroom and then he laid down on the bed. He pulled a tissue from
the box on the side table and relaxed on his back. He allowed the tears to
spill and felt them as they made salty trails down his cheeks.

Nick shut the bathroom door behind him. He allowed the knob to turn slowly
to the closed position in his hand. He laid his head on the door and
inhaled deeply. As he let the breath out, he fumbled for the lock. Nick
turned and stood on the bathmat. He took his socks off and wiggled his toes
on the scrap of carpet, he hated placing his feet on the cold tile
floor. Nick peeled his shirt off and let it drop to the floor, joining his
socks. He then removed his mesh shorts he had slept in, and his black
Calvin Klein briefs, dropping both of them also. Nick turned toward the
mirror and cautiously peered in. The reflection practically scared him. He
was so pale, he was making Lance look deeply tanned. His hair was limp and
scraggily. But the worse part was his eyes. The dark circles were a freaky
purple color, his lids were so heavy, he looked stoned, and the whites of
his eyes were so blood shot they looked pure red.

Man he looked like shit, he felt like it too. How could all of this be
putting so much of a strain on him? Was AJ right? Had he allowed too much
to be put on his shoulders? He had to go on though. Who else was going to
take care of Kevin the way he did? He really didn't want Lance getting that
close. And who was going to deal with Brian? Right now no one else is going
to give him much sympathy. As he stared at his image, everything started to
blur.

"No." He barely whispered out loud. "You will not cry, not now. You need to
keep it together."

Nick turned on the shower, he ran his fingers under the water. It was a tad
to hot, but he figured he'd get in anyway.

As the hot water rapidly poured over his body he felt something wash
away. It wasn't the pain, it wasn't the confusion, and it certainly wasn't
the stress. It was his composure.

Nick's composure washed straight down his body and swirled down the drain.

He sank down to the floor of the shower.

The tears weren't stoppable this time. They streamed down his face at a
pace that rivaled the water flowing from the shower head.

It took Nick fifteen minutes to recover before he was able to stand back
up. Then he went through the motions, barely taking notice of what he was
doing. When his hair and body were washed, and his teeth were brushed he
stepped out of the shower.

Nick wrapped a large towel around his tall frame and began to dry off. He
started with his head, rubbing his hair dry, and then ran the towel over
his chest, back, and arms. He paused, wrapping the towel around his waist.

Nick looked in the mirror again. His eyes were still bloodshot, but his
color was looking better. He ran a brush through his hair and tried to
organize the short spikes.

Finally, he slapped on some deodorant and cologne, and then began to get
dressed. Nick pulled on a clean pair of black briefs, some baggy jeans, and
his red Tampa Bay Buccaneers Jersey. He put n a pair of socks and his
shoes, and then shoved the rest of his stuff into his last piece of
luggage.

Nick took another deep breath and then stepped out of the bathroom.

Nick immediately noticed Brian, laying on the bed, he hadn't left.

Brian sat up when Nick walked in. "Your eyes are all red Nick, what's up?"

Nick stiffened. "Yours are too, what's up with you?" Nick mentioned,
slightly defensively, as he put his last bag with the others.

Brian stood up and walked over to Nick. He caught his attention when he
turned back around.

"Are you okay Nick?" Brian asked, looking Nick in the eyes.

"Are you?" Nick looked back.

Brian's eyes lowered and Nick's shoulders slumped. It took a moment of
silence, but they both began to cry again.

Brian wrapped his arms around Nick and pulled him in tight, sobbing into
his chest. Nick hugged Brian back and let his tears fall onto the top of
his head.

"What's wrong Nick?" Brian whispered.

"I don't know, what's wrong with you?" Nick choked out.

"I don't know..." Brian answered.

For a few minutes they just held each other.

"I know we need to talk..." Brian softly began. "But can we wait just a
little bit longer? Please?"

"Yeah, I think we should." Nick agreed.

Brian offered a very small smile. Nick hugged him tight and tried to
sniffle back the remaining tears.

*Knock*

"Nicky? You in there? Is Brian with you?" Howie's voice was heard through
the door.

Nick let go of Brian and went to the door. "Yeah D, Brian and I are in
here, What's up?"

"Nothing major, I just wanted to make sure you guys were ready, we only
have like 5 minutes, Lance just called to say he was going to be here any
minute." Howie told them. "So be out in the hallway ASAP, with your luggage
ok?"

"Okay Howie, thanks." Nick said.

Nick could hear Howie walk away from the door. "Go get your stuff Brian,
and wash your face, we need to be with the guys in a few minutes."

Brian walked toward the door. "Okay Nick, thanks." And Brian left the room.

Nick began to haul all of his things about of the hotel room. He threw them
all in a heap in the hallway. The others were all doing the same thing. He
went in the room and did a quick last check. Nick went into the bathroom
quick, scrubbing at his face trying to get rid of the tell-tale signs that
he had been crying. He left the hotel room all together, and waited for
everyone else to be finished.

"Everyone set?" Howie broke the silence. "A bellboy will be up for these
soon, so we can go downstairs. Lance is going to meet us in the restaurant
for lunch."

"Oh dear, six boy-band members in one restaurant we're gonna get
bombarded." AJ laughed.

"I reserved a private room dumb ass, so don't worry about it." Howie
smiled. "Ready guys?"

They all looked at each other and shrugged.

"Guess so, let's get outta here." Howie started down the hall.

AJ fell in step right behind him and proceeded to attempt to step on the
back of his heels. Howie yelled at him the whole way to the restaurant.

Brian walked a few steps behind them, smiling lightly at the stupid sight,
but pretty much lost in his own thoughts.

Kevin walked next to Nick, glancing at the blond, wondering what was wrong
with him. "You okay Nick?" He whispered.

Nick looked at Kevin and gave a weak smile to the man with the intense
green eyes, looking at him with that hint of worry. "Things didn't go all
that well with Brian, but it is looking a little better."

Kevin nodded in understanding. "We heard you yelling, and then quiet for
the longest time, we thought you had killed each other."

"No, almost, but we backed off just in time." Nick said softly.

"You two been crying, haven't ya?" Kevin mentioned quietly.

"Yeah..." Nick responded.

"You both have that look." Kevin said.

"Look?" Nick questioned.

"Yeah, you both get that look when you have made each other cry. That 'how
do I do this to my best friend' look." Kevin responded.

"Oh... do we really? Never noticed." Nick whispered.

"Well that's what I'm here for." Kevin smiled. "So you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah." Nick smiled back. "Of course I'm gonna be."

They all arrived at the restaurant and were led into a back room. There was
a round table and six chairs set up. The boys sat down, Kevin next to Nick,
who had Brian on his other side. AJ sat on the other side of Kevin and
Howie sat of the other side of Brian. That left an empty seat in between
Howie and AJ.

A waiter came in and asked if they'd like to order drinks while they waited
for their sixth member. The all ordered sodas and Howie suggested that the
waiter bring a Dr. Pepper for Lance. He left to go get the drinks and they
all just looked at each other.

"Lance know where to meet us, right Howie?" AJ asked.

"Yeah, give him a few minutes, you know how ya have to go secret agent in
order to get into a hotel with out getting caught by the fans." Howie
answered.

And as if on cue, the door swung open forcibly. And in strolled a young
man, each step oozing the confidence he had. He was tall, not quite at Nick
and Kevin's eye level, but easily passing Howie, Brian, and AJ's. He was
like Nick, not exactly one solid muscle, but a firm body that many people
found attractive. He was wearing a tight pair of jeans that hung low on his
hips and clung to all the right parts. His thin gray sweater appeared to be
made of silk and he had thrown a light weight, navy blue blazer over
it. His feet sported black Doc Martens and he had on a light amount of
silver jewelry. He just screamed stylish, despite the simple outfit. His
bleached hair was gelled up in skewed spikes, a planned messy look. His
complexion was so clear, you'd think he was wearing foundation and his blue
eyes(yes they are blue) glowed the friendly, in charge attitude that
possessed him. You knew he liked who he was, and was comfortable strolling
into almost any situation. He had a smug smile on his face and was looking
straight at the five seated men. So, in walked James Bass, aka Lance into
the scattered life of the Backstreet Boys.

Nick and Kevin snapped their heads toward one another and both shot a
nervous look.

Brian looked down at his hands, that were fisted, and scowled.

Howie got up and walked toward his friend.

AJ just sat back and took in all the reactions of his friends. 'Oh boy,
here we go...'