Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2000 19:47:37 EDT From: Adam I Subject: Loneliness Unmasked - Chap. 7 and Chap. 8 Legal Disclaimer - All members of The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC are written in fictious roles in this story. This story is a complete work of fiction based on my writing. **Do not skim through this chapter, or you will miss alot of surprises. Please read carefully, and re-read if you get lost, trust me it will all be worth it to be cautious.** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CHAPTER 7 -- AFTERMATH & REJOICE KENTUCKY It had been two days since the TRL episode that would change Brian and Justin's lives. The commotion that had erupted from the initial backlash had died down, and The Litrell house in Kentucky was back to normal. Kevin and the other guys were all bunked up at Kevin's families home and were enjoying their week off. The news had run amok on the information that had been given out, and the guys could not walk out the door with out being attacked by reporters. It was early morning and Brian was in the kitchen of his home. Justin was upstairs sleeping, cuddling with a pillow, in which Brian had replaced himself for. "Mom, I think it's about time that Justin and I talked to the press, but I don't know how to bring it up to him." "Well, you are going to have to tell him, simply explain it to him. I'm sure he will understand that the news has to hear the whole story." Jackie Litrell ached inside. Although the arguments and fights were over, the days were still not happy. Justin and Brian were getting along fine, but her son was not happy. Brian was still in the shock of being exposed to the world with out anything to do in the matter, and she couldn't help him. "I know, but I don't want him to go through it. I don't want him to be attacked by the press." "It is going to happen to you too, it is going to happen to Kevin, Nick, AJ, Howie, and Justin. It will hit you all hard, but the best thing to do is to call the press conference, and answer the questions now. Go in there together, and stay strong. Show them that you are happy with your decision." "I guess your right, I'll call Kev, and plan for the conference tonight." Brian walked out of the room and towards the living room. He dialed Kevin's number on his cell phone and sank down into the couch, to carry on there conversation. Meanwhile, Justin still slept clutching the pillow, in his boxers. He woke up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Justin, some one's on the phone for you, you have to go downstairs to get it." Justin shot up out of the bed. James was the one ordering him around. Justin blushed when he remembered that he didn't have any pants. He grabbed his and threw them on. Justin followed James down the steps into the study. James shut the door as he walked out of the room. "I watched TRL the other day." Justin practically dropped the phone when he heard the voice of his mother on the end of the line. He didn't know what to say, he had no words to speak. "Why didn't you tell me, why didn't you tell me you were gay, why didn't you tell me you tried to kill yourself?" "I never got a hold of you, but you know everything now. I left NSYNC, I'm dating Brian and I'm gay, and everything is out in the open now." Lynn Harliss now found herself speechless as her son answered her questions with out real answers even leaving his mouth. "When are you going to talk to the press?" "I don't know, but I'm scared." "I know you are, but I will be there, I'm catching a plane tonight, to bring you home." Justin at first was glad to hear his mother comfort him, but was shocked when he heard the last words leave his mother's mouth. "I'm glad you are coming, but I'm not leaving, I two more days of vacation left. I have to leave on Sunday." "Justin, I haven't seen you in months, you tried to kill yourself, I think you can spend some time with me and your brother, instead of with him." "What? Is that what this is about, you don't want me to be with him. It doesn't matter to me what you want though, I want to be with him, and I will be." Justin hung up the phone in disgust. He walked out of the room into the kitchen, and took a seat at the table. "Who was that on the phone Justin?" Jackie walked over to the table, with a bowl of cereal for him. "Um, my mom." "Did she watch TRL?" Jackie could tell by Justin's face and actions that she had. And she could also tell that it had not turned out to a good phone conversation. "She wants to take me home, she's coming later on today." "Oh, for the press conference?" It was too late for Jackie to take back the words she had said. She didn't realize until after they flowed that Brian had not told Justin yet. "The what? I didn't know we were having a press conference tonight. Does Brian?" Justin knew the answer to be yes. He looked around but couldn't see his boyfriend. "Yes, there will be a press conference tonight, for you and the others. In town, Brian and Kevin are planning it now." "When was he going to tell me?" "I'm not sure, but I know he was going to. You have to believe me, he didn't want to hurt you. He was scared to tell you, but he planned on doing, I promise." "I know, I believe you." Justin continued to eat his cereal. "He'll be off the phone soon. He just had to call Kevin, Kevin will be making the plans and calling the newspaper, and mtv, and such." "Tell him I'll be waiting in the bed room, I want it to be a private conversation." Justin stood from the table and walked out of the room and up the steps. He sat down on the bed, and fell into a trance of thoughts. His mother, and Brian remained his main focus, as he thought of what to do, and what he and Brian would talk about when Brian finished with Kevin and came up to the room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 6 HOURS PASSED Justin had fallen asleep while he thought. Brian had stopped into the room, but didn't want to wake his sleeping lover. He knew that they had to talk before the press conference at 5, which gave him 2 more hours to wake Justin. Brian was still unsure on how to handle Justin's mother, who had arrived at the house 2 hours earlier. She stayed in the living room chatting with Brian's mother, but was becoming impatient as Brian returned for the 5th time with out Justin. "Wake him up, we have two hours, and he's still sleeping." Lynn was becoming annoyed with Brian. She was growing tired of waiting, and knew that her son should be woke. "I don't want to wake him up. He's sleeping peacefully, let him go." Brian didn't want to back talk Justin's mother on there first meeting, but she didn't give him much of a choice. "I can't believe this, I am being told what to do when it comes to my son, by his lover." Lynn rose and made her way out of the room. "Wait, I'm sorry, but please let me wake him." Brian ran in front of Lynn and stopped her "Please, let me." Brian didn't wait for an answer as he ran up the steps and slowly walked into the room was Justin was sleeping in. He walked towards the be and sat down. He stared at Justin's face, so peaceful and angelic. He gently ran his fingers through Justin's hair. "Justin, baby, you need to get up." Brian shook Justin lightly, waiting for an answer. "Huh, what time is it?" Justin moaned out his words. "It's 3:15, and we have to go at 5." "Oh, the press conference, could you get me some nice clothes out to wear?" "Yeah, um, your mom is here, she's in the living room." Justin jumped out from under the blankets and ran to the door. He slammed it shut in a hurry and ran over towards Brian. "I'm not going, I don't want to." "What do you mean?" Brian didn't know if Justin was talking about the press conference or down into the living room to see his mother. "I don't want to go home, I want to stay with you." "I don't know what you are talking about Justin." "My mom wants to take me back home with her." "Dont' worry, you don't have to go. Just get dressed and come downstairs and we can talk before we go." Brian left the room, and headed downstairs. "Is he awake yet?" Lynn asked angrily staring at Brian. "Yes." Brian took a seat next to his mother, and waited for Justin to come down the steps. "He's getting dressed." The room was silent for the remaining five minutes before Justin slowly made his way down the stairs. Lynn rushed over to her soon and wrapped him in a tight hug. Justin hugged her back, but not as happily as she did. "I'm so happy to see that your okay." Lynn's attitude changed a 100%. She had been annoying and demanding only minutes earlier, but now she was happy, and kind. "I'm fine, mom, let's just get this press shit over with." It was the first time Justin had sworn around Jackie Litrell. "Ahem." Jackie cleared her throat, to warn Justin not to swear in her house. Lynn gave her an evil glare and took her seat again. "So, I hear that you want to take Justin home with you?" "Yes, I do, I think he needs to be with his family. After all, he has a lot of apologizing to do before he heads back to work." Lynn spoke with confidence that she would be able to convince Justin to join up with NSYNC again. "He's not going back, he made a decision, and that was to leave them." Brian couldn't listen to Justin's mother any longer. "I don't think you can say what my son is doing, I am his mother, and he will respect my decisions." "You don't know what he's been through, you weren't there for him when he was in need, I was." Jackie Litrell was shocked to hear her son defend Justin in such a compelling way. "He's had a few heartbreaks, that's no reason to try and end his life." "He got his ass beat, there were no heartbreaks, just whoopings. JC beat him up every day, and Justin didn't tell any one, he just let it happen." "That's a lie, JC wouldn't hit Justin, he loves him. If Justin told you that, then he is just making it up for attention." "Please, mom, it happened, believe Brian, he is only looking out for me. He loves me, and I love him. I didn't want you to find out from the tv, but I didn't have enough time to tell you." Justin spoke up from his silence to defend himself and Brian. The arguments continued as the time wound down, until Kevin picked up the four waiting people. The ride to the press building was quiet. AJ, Howie, and Nick were in Kevin's family car, and were ahead of Kevin. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ PRESS CONFERENCE (5 o'clock) Inside the building was loud. One of the very things Justin hated. He looked around in awe, as he was dumbfounded by the amounts of photographers, press, and higherups. (And that's a lot to say for someone who is in the most popular boy band in the world.) Brittany Spears was standing in a corner behind the table as every one entered the room. She looked up and saw Justin a good 20 feet away. "Justin." Brittany took off running to hug her long time friend. In real life, Brittany was more of Justin's bestfriend then JC was. Justin grabbed her and picked her up in a hug. "I missed you so much." Was all Brittany could say as Justin set her back down on the ground. "I missed you too." Justin tried to smile, but he knew that Brittany and his husband would see right through it. "Have you met the guys yet?" "Yeah, who doesn't know who the BackStreet Boys are, after all there the only boy group left." Brittany tried to make light of Justin's departure from his group, but knew that it would do little help. "Hi, I'm Brian." Brian jumped ahead of the rest of the guys, and hugged Brittany. "I know who you are, your my little Justin's boy toy." Brittany teased as Brian let go of the hug. "Yeah, isn't that why we are all here?" Brian laughed, trying to help Brittany break the other's silence. "It isn't funny, this is serious, it could end our career." Kevin hadn't talked the whole car ride, and now was voicing his opinion to the others and Brian. "It would ruin your career, if anything you'll get more publicity. Without NSYNC it's just you guys, and not to mention, now all the gay guys have some one to look up to." Brittany didn't want the mood to take a turn for the worse. "Could I please get you 7 to take your seats at the table, we are about to begin." A PR had approached the group, and directed them to there seats. Kevin sat in the middle, with Howie, AJ, and Nick on his left side. Brian, then Justin, and finally Brittany sat to his right. There families and the management of Jive Records stood behind them. Some stood behind there life decisions, others were cursing the boys for there decisions in love. "Kevin Richardson will now address the issues that are on your minds, after that we may have time to take a few questions." The same PR opened the floor to Kevin. "As you all know on Wednesday, NSYNC called it quits. I am not here to talk about that today. Justin will address that in a few minutes. But I am here to address the topic of Brian and Justin. It has been going around that Justin and Brian are now a relationship. To clear out all rumors, that is true. They in fact are dating, and both Brian and Justin are gay." Kevin was cut off by gasps and moans from the crowd, the lights began to flash. Brian grabbed Justin's hand to show him was there, and Justin squeezed tightly. Brian's hand ached from the grasp, but he didn't let go. "Justin will be touring with us, but he will not being doing an act for the tour. Brittany will fill in for NSYNC, and we will try and find an opening act, before our tour starts up again. Now Justin will take the floor to address the demise of NSYNC." "As Kevin said, I will talk about NSYNC. It is true that I tried to kill myself, but I'm not going to even go into that right now, it's none of your business to know what I have going on inside of me. I left NSYNC for personal reasons, the same reasons I tried to kill myself." Justin took his seat quickly, and felt both Brian and Brittany's arms wrap around his neck. "Alright, we will now take on questions you may still have." The PR jumped in front of the table, and then scurried back to the side. "Brittany how do you feel about Justin's relationship?" "Justin is it true that Brian abuses you?" The two questions were of a shock to the group. "I am extremely happy for Justin. Knowing that he is happy with Brian is all that matters. Whether Brian is a man or a woman, makes no difference, he'll always be my friend." Brittany addressed her questioned and smiled at Justin. "No, it's not true that Brian beats me, Brian is the best thing that has ever happened to me since I was born." "Justin is it true that you and the boys from NSYNC didn't get along?" "Justin, would you say that your relationship with Brittany is a little more then friends, and more of a fling on the side?" Brian and Brittany looked at each other in disgust of the questions. Justin didn't say a word, he just sat there. Brian took this as a sign of Justin's fear, and stood up to answer the questions. "What don't you understand? We don't want to answer your questions if they have to do with sick, tabloid rumors. We are people just like you, we live our lives one second at a time, just like you, and every once in a while we want to be private. I don't come into your home and take pictures of you and your wife holding hands, so why are you taking pictures of me holding my boyfriends. If I am dating a guy, then be happy or leave." Brian didn't sit, but instead pulled Justin up. He grabbed Justin and pulled him in for a kiss. Justin reacted nervously first, but then felt himself fall into the smooth lips and mouth of Brian. Brian pulled out of the kiss and looked around the room. No words, gasps, or sighs wore spoken. The silence was broken by claps. Brittany was now standing in approval of Justin and Brian, and soon were all the other Backstreet Boys. All clapping. "Any more questions?" The PR cut off the congratulations to return them to the press conference. "We aren't answering any more questions, we're going back to our vacation." Nick threw his head set off, and the others followed. One by one the headsets fell onto the table, and the 7 walked out of the building. Jackie Litrell and Ann Richardson ran after them, and slowly Lynn Harliss did the same. No one talked until they were out of the building and heading towards the cars. "How'd you get here Brittany?" They couldn't see Brittany's car anywhere, and she was still following them. "Oh, I caught a taxi, I was hoping I could get a lift from you Justin?" "Um, I didn't drive, Kevin's family has there car, and we had Brian's." Justin looked at Brian for an answer. He was hoping that Brittany could accompany them. "Yes, she can come with us. Kevin, you and your mom take your car with AJ, Howie, and Nick. Me, Justin, Brittany, my mom and Justin's mom will take my car." Brian smiled at Justin, and Brittany. He was happy to see Justin happy, and didn't want to end the great sight. "Alright, we'll see you back at your house." Kevin and the guys walked towards there car, and Justin went with Brian to his. Brian drove, his mother sat in the passenger seat. Lynn Harliss sat on the right side of the back, with Justin in the middle and Brittany on the left. Brian pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway, to head home. "I'm so happy to see your okay, when I heard that on MTV, I was shocked. We've been best friends for so long, and you didn't tell me any of what they were saying." Brittany started a conversation directing it towards Justin. "Yeah, I know. I didn't want to talk to any one. It's only been a week or so since it all happened, it was like one big snowball, first I almost die, then I fall in love, then I quit my job, and now I'm exposed to the whole world." Justin laughed out all that had happened in the last week. "That's exactly why you need to come back to Orlando and relax, you can always meet up with Brian and Brittany at another stop on the tour, you don't have to be with them at the first stops." Lynn brought up her argument again, hoping that Brittany might agree with her and help convince Justin. "Mom, I don't wanna come home, I just wanna spend time with Brian. Please, I don't want to talk about it, because it isn't going to happen." "Justin.." Lynn wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Mom, please, I don't want to fight in front of everyone." "I don't care, you are my son and you will do what I say" "I'm 19, I'm not a baby anymore. I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions. If they are bad ones, I have to grow and learn from them, and I have decided already. I am staying with Brian during the whole tour." "I won't listen to you, I'm your mother, you can't talk to me like this. Brittany please try and talk some sense into him." Lynn pleaded with Brittany, but she wouldn't get any help. Brittany knew what Lynn was like, and she knew that Justin didn't want any help. "Sorry, Mrs. Harliss, but Justin's right, he is an adult, he can take care of himself. Me and Brian will be there with him." The conversation wasn't going as planned by Lynn. She was getting no help and she knew that she was fighting a dying cause. "Fine, but if anything happens to you, any small accident, even a cold, you are coming straight home. I'm letting you do this Justin, because I love you, but please promise me that you will call me, I don't want to be left in the dark by my son." Lynn ended the argument with a plea from her son. "I promise mom, but you have to understand, it was to late to call you about the suicide attempt. I did it, I went to the hospital, and I snuck out shortly after." His agreeance to his mother's begging was short lived, as he then tried to calm his mother down. "Would you mind telling me and Brittany why you tried to kill yourself?" Jackie looked around from her front seat, to see if Justin was okay with the questioning. She turned around happily after she saw Justin's reaction. "Um, well JC hit me. He hit me all the time, even when we were on Mickey Mouse Club. I took the pills because I couldn't take it any more. But then Brian came into my life, and I felt the thrill to live again. JC still hit me, but with Brian there, I wanted to live. I left the group, because I knew that when I left Brian's side JC would hit me even more." "He hit you, did Lance and the others know? Did they try and stop him?" Brittany found herself lost. Even Lynn knew that JC hit him, she had found out earlier, before the conference, but she had not addressed it yet. "Yeah, Lance hit me a couple times too, and Joey and Chris didn't stop them, they just let it happen. I couldn't talk to any of them. I never told any one because Lance warned me not too." "What the hell? You should have told me Justin. I would have kicked there asses for you. He even hit you, during the MMC years. Did Ryan know? Did anyone know?" Brittany still had so many questions to ask, so many feelings to let out; fear, anger, sadness, remorse, guilt, and happiness that Justin was out of the situation for good. "No one knew, Ryan and JC were closer then I was with Ryan, so I figured he would take his side. And I couldn't tell you, what would you have done. You're 18, and plus look at JC, he's pretty tough." Justin didn't want to be defended by a girl, even though he loved Brittany, like a sister. "Ryan would have helped you, we dated you know. If I knew I would have told him and he would have kicked JC's ass." Brittany recalled her past relationship with Ryan Gosling another member of The Mickey Mouse Club during her run as a cast member. "I know, but I couldn't tell any one, I was to scared. Some guy 5 years older then you is whomping on you in the dressing room, and then outside in front of everyone, he acts like your big brother, whose going to believe you." "I would have believed you. You had to have some bruises or something, to prove it." Brittany stopped to think, she began to feel even more guilt. Thinking back on all the times Justin had a small cut, or a black and blue mark, what if it was from JC? What if she could have helped and just didn't pay attention enough? "I'm sorry Justin, I should have noticed, I should have asked you." "You couldn't have known. I told you I fell or something, it was my fault that no one knew." Brian didn't even look back on the conversation, he kept his eyes on the road. "I know, but still, I feel guilty, I feel like it was partially my fault. Like if I were a better friend, then I could have helped you." Brittany was beginning to break down. She held back her tears, but could hardly last longer. She knew if she didn't change the subject that they would flow from her eyes. "So, when did you and Justin become a thing?" "The day after the hospital incident. He was crying in the bathtub, and he said that he loved me, I told him I loved him too." Brian took this as a chance to get involved in the conversation. "He wasn't up for anything. He couldn't walk, he couldn't stand, he was so cute. I couldn't help but fall in love with him. I just had to take care of him, I couldn't bare looking at him when he was in pain. The thought of it made me sick." "I wasn't cute, I was sick. I had cuts, and scratches, and I shook constantly in fear. You only took care of me, because I couldn't take care of myself. That's why I fell in love with you." Justin brought the attention from Brian, back to himself with his words. "You know that's not true, you were cute even though you were sick. And when you shook with fear, I was there to hold you. I love you, that's why I did it, not because you couldn't, but because I love you." "Ahhh, you to are so cute together. I wish I was there for your first kiss." Brittany cooed at the loving couple. Lynn Harliss did not find the comment cute though. She shuttered when thinking about Justin kissing another man. Jackie Litrell had another feeling, happiness. She loved the thought of Brian being happy, and of Justin being happy with Brian. "Yeah, well it was nothing special, just the romantic, eye popping, jaw-dropping, first kiss you read about in those Danielle Steel books." Brian teased smiling at his boyfriend. "I'd say it was more of one of those, sensitive, staring into eachother's eyes, loving, tender, and warm kisses, that you never forget. Or maybe I remember it differently." Justin smiled back at his husband. "I think your right, I must have been thinking about the other guy I kissed that night." Brian teased as he turned around to watch the road again. "You better hope not, or your sleeping on the couch tonight." Justin pushed up onto Brian's seat laughing. "My house, if any one's sleeping on the couch it will be you. And where ever you sleep, I will be sure to follow." Brian teased. "Your not out of trouble yet. I'm still mad." Justin was only joking, but got a small shock when the car pulled off the road and stopped on the side. Brian got out of the car, and walked to the back. He opened the door and helped Brittany out, then he helped Justin out. Brian stood by Justin and opened his mouth. "There is nobody Who can make it right Nobody else can do it Nobody but you You know what to do Nobody else but you Nobody, nobody but you Somebody tell me 'Cuz I can't eat or sleep When you're not close to my body You're a bittersweet delight Come and help me through the night Ain't nobody else can make me cry Ain't nobody else can make me lie Nobody but you Ain't nobody else but you Nobody but you Nobody can make me lie Gimme one more chance to make it right Time has come for us to reunite 'Cuz baby it's true Ain't nobody else but you There's no one like you" Brian kissed Justin on the cheek, and then dropped to one knee, Brittany almost fell backward at the sight of Brian in the position. "Justin, I know we only met, but a day with out you tears me apart. Justin, will you marry me?" Brian pulled out the ring from his pocket, and looked up for an answer. Brittany squirmed anxiously for an answer. "Ughhhhhhh" "What did he say? Did he say yes or no?" Brittany screamed looking at Justin. Justin was unconcious on the highway, he could not manage to utter his answer, before he fainted. Brian picked him up and put him in the car, and hurridly drove back to the house, Justin still didn't wake, as Brian placed him on the couch, and grabbed a washcloth and blanket. Brittany threw the blanket on him, as Brian rubbed his head with the washcloth. Mrs. Litrell, Mr. Litrell, James Litrell, Mrs. Harliss, Brian, Brittany, Kevin, Nick, AJ, and Howie all stood over Justin as he began to resume conciousness. "Um, did I say yes?" "You didn't say anything, you just fainted." Brittany screeched out of her lungs. "Yes, oh god yes." Justin now had the power to answer Brian's question. Brian grabbed him and scooped him into a hug. Brittany and the guys clapped and screamed, while Mr. and Mrs. Litrell hugged, Lynn Harliss sat quietly in a chair. "I love you." Brian whispered into Justin's ear. "I love you too." The eruption of happiness soon slowed to a more calm feeling. The room was a blaze with plans, and conversations. Brittany trying to think of who she could bring as a date, Kevin planning out guest lists, and Brian and Justin kissing off and on. Justin's mother, was still seated quietly, thinking over the actions of her son. "I was wondering, do you want my name or should I take yours?" Brian knew what Justin would say to his question, but wanted to make sure before he took it into assumption. "I want your name silly, you are the man of the relationship." Justin teased, even though it was true. Brian had been there for him when he was hurting, he had asked him to marry him, and his name was the only name Justin could think of having attached to his. "Yeah, well I try." Brian boasted loudly, getting a laughing response from Justin and the crowd. Justin stood up after the laughter quieted. "I think I'm gonna head up to bed, it's been a long day, I'll talk to you all later." Brian stood and kissed his fiance good night, and watched Justin walk away. "I think we should be heading out of here too, I wanna get an early start tomorrow. There's a lot of stuff to plan." Kevin stood and signaled for the others to do as he did. "Hey, Kev, do you think you could give me and Justin's mom a ride to a hotel?" Brittany stood hoping that Kevin would accept her question. Lynn made no motion of her attitude towards the whole day of events that had transpired. "Don't be silly, you two can stay here for the night, Lynn you can Jame's room, and Brittany you can sleep on the extra bed we have, we'll just move it into the room." Jackie stood trying to make Brittany and Lynn feel welcome. "Thank you." Brittany took Lynn by the hand and pulled her up the steps. James followed to show them the room, and where they could get some extra pillows and blankets. He knew he would be sleeping on the couch, but didn't want to start an argument, he was to tired to. Jackie and Harold Litrell finished up there goodbyes and headed towards there bedroom, Brian slowly stood and smiled. He paced to the steps, and made his way up them to see his future husband. Upon entering the room he could tell that Justin was still awake. "Hey Babe, can't sleep?" "No, not with out you to hold me. Once you get in here, I'll be fine." Justin whispered out his answer, as he was already half-asleep with out even trying. "Alright, but no funny business mister, not until we are married." Brian teased out an answer, and laid down in the bed. He wrapped his strong arms around Justin, and let Justin nestle his head to his chest. Smiling Brian fell asleep, and Justin too. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CHAPTER 8 - PRE-MARITAL BLISS KITCHEN AT THE LITRELL HOUSE (9 o'clock in the morning) "Thank you for letting us stay here Mrs. Litrell." Brittany entered the room catching Lynn and Jackie seated at the table. James was preparing his breakfast. "Your welcome Brittany, it was the least I could do for my future son-in-law's mother and best friend." Jackie smiled realizing that she would soon be the proud mother-in-law of Justin Timberlake. "I'm so happy about this, it just feels right. But where are the guys going to get married? The states don't legalize that stuff. Maybe they could get married in Paris, that would be so romantic." Brittany cooed at the many possibilities for Justin and Brian. "I was thinking Rome." Jackie returned the cooes that Brittany had sent out. "What about Vegas, they legalize any shit." James teased the ladies' ideas. "My son won't be getting married in Vegas, I was thinking that they could get married in Brazil, or maybe London." Lynn finally joined into the conversation. Down playing James' sarcastic idea, and making some of her own. "But we will leave that up the boys, it's there wedding, let them pick the romantic spot of there dreams." "I was hoping Justin would want to get married in Paris. I guess I'll suggest it to him when he wakes up." Brian made his presence into the room wearing a pair of long flannel boxer pants, and a tight t-shirt. "Yes, I win, I win, my idea was right." Brittany jumped up in sarcasm, screaming. "Brittany, please, he's still sleeping. You could wake the dead, with your voice. Leave the poor baby be." Brian teased Brittany as he took a seat next to his mother and brother. "Whatever, he loves me, so he wouldn't be bothered by it. I'm just so happy for you I guess. But I'll try to play it cool and stop screaming." "To late, you already woke me." Justin entered the room wearing a pair of black button ups, and an unbuttoned button up shirt. "Justin, button your shirt up, you are at the table." Lynn's harsh voice cracked the happiness into seriousness. "Oh sorry, I didn't even notice." Justin quickly tried to button up his shirt. It was completely unbottoned and it took him a minute before it was buttoned up to a decent length. "I kinda liked it, I noticed." Brian teased. "Me too, it was sexy, you little cutie." Brittany rubbed Justin's arm in a seductive, yet joking way. Brian made a fake scowl on his face to show Brittany he liked the joke. "I'm gonna take your man Brian Litrell, and there ain't nothing you can do about it." The teasing continued as Justin played with his cereal. He was to happy to eat, although he wouldn't show it. He smiled on the inside, laughing and thinking about all the fun things he and Brian could enjoy as husband and husband. "So, where do you want to get married Justin?" Brian broke the teasing off, for some seriousness. "I don't know, I was thinking Maine or something, maybe a small chapel, in the woods." Justin had no idea that the states outlawed same sex marriages. "I hate to break this to you, but we can't get married in the states, ya know, it isn't legalized." Brian sighed hoping that Justin's first response would have been Paris. "Oh, then I don't know you can pick." Justin sank into his seat. His dream wedding was supposed to take place in a small town, in the back woods, at a chapel filled with his family and friends. When he was a kid he thought his perfect wife would be some one like Brittany, but now his perfect mate was Brian, with out any changes. He loved Brian perfectly, everything about him, and knew that where ever the wedding was held, that it would be special. "What about a small chapel, in some place romantic? Some place where we can stay for a honeymoon. What about Paris?" Brian tried to ease into his response, hoping Justin would like what he was saying, so he threw in romantic to keep Justin's interest. "Paris, that's so romantic. I like the idea." Brittany tried to get an answer out of Justin too, hoping he would like the idea after both Brian and herself proposed it." "Yeah, that's great, I was just hoping for Maine, but Paris is just as romantic, and it's alot better any ways, since it's legal and all." Justin couldn't help but utter out his true feelings. He didn't want to hurt Brian's feelings, but he had always hoped for a winter wedding, in a snow covered town some where on the outskirts of Maine. "I'll try and pull some strings. After all I am Brian Litrell." Brian tried to change Justin's mood, but he knew it would be hard. He may know some people, but he would have to convince a reverend to do the ceremony, and he didn't know any reverends. "Thanks, but you don't have to. I know the wedding will be great no matter what. As long as you say I do when it comes down to it, I will be happy." Justin could sense Brian's sadness. He didn't want to hurt him, but he still wished that the wedding could have gone down the way he would have liked. "I know, I just want to see you happy now." Brian smiled at his fiance, looking for the same response. "I could settle for a kiss now, maybe that would make me happy." Before Justin could even release the last syllable, his mouth was brought into Brian's. His tongue licked by Brians. Justin fell apart when Brian released. He almost wanted to cry that the kiss had ended. "I thought you said you would be happy if I kissed you?" Brian looked at Justin's sad face, trying to get a laugh. "I know, but you stopped." Justin smiled back, pushing away his tears, and letting himself feel happiness again. It wasn't hard, after all he was the future husband of the man of his dreams. "Not around the parents." Jackie teased excusing herself from the table, to empty her breakfast plate into the garbage. Brittany followed suit and James shortly after to empty his. Lynn was the last to do so too. Brian took the opportunity to feed Justin his cereal, which got Justin to keep his smile up. "You two are so cute, why couldn't I snatch some one up?" Brittany smiled and joked her way into there little lover's corner. Brian looked up and went back to feeding Justin. He knew that Justin didn't like to be babied, but he also knew that Justin was enjoying the attention and was loving it. "You know all the guys are single, want me to set you up with any of them?" "Actually, AJ's not so bad, you think he'd go to the wedding with me?" Brian didn't look up but found himself smile. It had been a while since AJ had a steady relationship, and thought that maybe Brittany and him would last. "Yeah, I'll talk to him, and see if he's interested." Brian dropped the spoon into the bowl, and carried it to the sink. Justin was unhappy that the meal was over. But decided to turn his attention towards Brittany. "Um, do you think you could be my, um, well sorta maid of honor. I mean I don't have any guy friends besides Brian and the guys, and they will be on his side. So, I guess you are my only friend I can ask. And since you aren't a guy, well you know, well..." "Justin, stop bullshitting around the question, of course I'll be your maid of honor. But I think you should really consider calling Christina and Ryan, they may want to be invited to there former cast member's wedding too ya know." "Yeah, I guess I could ask Ryan and Christina to stand up there with you, to keep you company of course." Justin teased as he thought about it in all seriousness. He didn't want to think about it, but it was drawing his attention quickly. What if they don't want to be in a gay man's wedding? He quickly brushed it off, and went back to his conversation. "So when do you wanna get married, I mean the tour is coming up Monday, and I was hoping we could get married in December." Justin turned his attention away from Brittany to Brian. "December is fine, that will be in like 5 months, but still it's fine. The tour will be done by then, and we should be able to squeeze out a couple weeks vacation, along with Brittany so it should work out perfectly." "What about Christmas Eve? We could get married, and then spend our first Christmas alone, in our own little suite." Brian was shocked by Justin's quick decisions. But he couldn't break his young lover's heart. "Of course, I love the idea of you and me spending Christmas alone, in our own little suite." Brian repeated Justin's words, and smiled. "Oh, you two are just too romantic for me. I don't know why I let myself be around you for more then two seconds." Brittany said after looking around the room. With out the three noticing the room was now empty besides themselves. James had left shortly after Brian and Justin's mothers had leaving the three alone, to continue there conversations in privacy, even though they were clueless of it. "It's only because you love me, but you can't have me, because I don't love you like that. I mean I wouldn't mind the meaningless sex that we could share, but I'm with Brian, for now." Justin teased sending a quick flirtacious stare towards Brittany. "I don't like that Justin Timberlake, if you don't watch it, you might be keeping that name permanantly." Brian teased back, but got his point across. Justin stopped all talk about the situation, however unserious it was, he still didn't want to make Brian mad. "I'm going to take a shower, before lunch time." Justin stood and walked out of the room heading towards the shower. Brittany and Brian left the kitchen together and headed towards the living room to watch tv with Brian's family, and Justin's mother. Justin was now upstairs getting undressed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ SHOWER Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine I'm leaving my life in your hands People say I'm crazy and that I am blind Risking it all in a glance How you got me blind is still a mystery I can't get you out of my head Don't care what is written in your history As long as your here with me I don't care who you are Where you're from What you did As long as you love me Who you are Where you're from? Don't care what you did As long as you love me Every little thing that you have said and done Feels like it's deep within me Doesn't really matter if you're on the run It seems like we're meant to be I've tried to hide it so that no one knows But I guess it shows When you look into my eyes What you did and where you're comin' from I don't care, as long as you love me, baby Justin sang along to his favorite Backstreet Boy song, as he soaped up his hair. I don't care who you are Where you're from What you did As long as you love me Who you are Where you're from? Don't care what you did As long as you love me Every little thing that you have said and done Feels like it's deep within me Doesn't really matter if you're on the run It seems like we're meant to be "You have a really great voice." Justin fell backwards as Brian pulled the shower curtain back and hopped in. "It's not like you've never seen me naked before. We are dating ya know?" Brian pulled Justin up and began to massage his hair with the shampoo. "Yeah, you just startled me." "Yeah, well I'm glad I got to the management first, or you may have been the 5th member of the Backstreet Boys." Brian kept up his praise of Justin's voice. As he let Justin rinse his hair. "Ya know, you could use a hair cut. I liked your hair shorter, but still in curls." Brian played with Justin's long curls, running his fingers through them. "I know, maybe we can go to the local barber when we get out." Justin smiled and continued to watch himself. "Maybe, we could fool around for a bit, ya know, before?" Brian smiled wrapping his arms around Justin, and pulling him in. He slowly began to suck on Justin's neck leaving a large hickey underneath his jaw. He worked his way down to Justin's chest and lightly kissed Justin's nipples. Justin couldn't stand the wait any longer. "Ohhhhhhhhhh, please don't stop." Brian didn't even hesitate, and worked his way down to Justin's tool. He slowly wrapped his mouth around it, and began to suck off his lover. Justin was in ecstasy as Brian's tongue flickered off his manhood. It took only minutes for Justin to release his cum into Brian's mouth. Justin sank slowly down to the floor of the tub, as Brian stood up smiling. "I can still knock the wind out of you." Brian proudly boasted. Pulling Justin up and shutting off the water. He opened the curtain and grabbed two towels, and his robe. He dried himself off as Justin did the same. "Here, throw this on, I wanna admire you." Justin quickly put on Brian's robe, it fit him in extra length. Although Brian was shorter then Justin, his robe was fit extra long, for comfort and it made comfort for Justin too. Justin walked out of the room and slipped some boxers on underneath the robe, and waited for Brian to dress. "Let's go downstairs and talk, before we go get your haircut." Justin followed Brian down the steps, and into the living room. His mother and Brian's mother were engulfed in a conversation, and James and Brittany were carrying on one of their own. Brian took a seat on the only remaining chair, and Justin took a seat on his lap. "Oh, I see you are done in the shower, what are your plans for the day?" Brittany smiled at her bestfriend with admiration. She was so happy for him, but in the same sense jealous of the great relationship he had with Brian. "I think I'm gonna get my haircut in a little bit, but I just wanna relax for a while." "So is that why you are wearing the robe?" Brittany teased her friend about his wardrobe. "I like him in that robe." Brian teased back smiling. Lynn and Jackie didn't even look up from there conversation. They were discussing the media and how it was handling the announcment of Brian and Justin being gay. The newspapers and radio stations had gone insane, MTV was reaching rocket ratings, as documentaries about the bands aired non-stop, news briefs from John Norris and Serena Atchsul interrupted regular broadcasts every five minutes with updates on fan reaction, but Brian nor Justin had taken interest in the matter, they were content with there happiness and would wait to see the reactions when they went back on tour on Monday. "Yeah, I wook wexy, in dis wobe." Justin playfully acted like a child to get a laugh. "Sexy for a little baby." "Hey, I'm a wear older than you'se." Justin kept up his act, and teased Brittany in the process. "Give it a rest, you aren't getting a laugh out of me." Brittany couldn't help but laugh as she released her statement. "Weally, what was that dwen? I a wexy man, and I got a wexy boyfeind, who woves me." Brian too found himself laughing at his boyfriend's actions. "If my wexy boyfriend doesn't stop, I'm gonna get him out of that robe and into a diaper and bib." Brian laughed out slapping a five with Brittany. "I see, ya gonna play me like 'dat" "Yeah, wes gonna play you like 'dat. Now go get dressed so we can get you a hair cut." Brian tossed Justin off his lap, and watched Justin walk away. "Can I come along, I don't have much else to do?" Brittany stood to adress to Brian. "Yeah, sure, but you got the back, I want my baby to sit near me." "Great, let me go grab my purse, maybe we can hit a mall or something on the way home." Brittany ran off before Brian could object to her mall idea. Brian waited in the car for Brittany and Justin to exit the house. He watched as Brittany and Justin walked out of the house laughing and cracking up. "What's so funny?" Brian was insistent on knowing the reason behind there laughter. "Oh, we were just remembering this one time, when Ryan pulled down my pants, and I wasn't wearing any underwear. It was embarrassing then, but I have to admit it is pretty funny now that I remember it." Justin couldn't stop his laughter and neither could Brittany. "Every one saw, Brittany, Ryan, Christina, even JC." "So I wasn't the first one to see your little boy?" Brian teased. "Oh no, you weren't. Because as far as I know, Justin's little boy, is still just that, little." Brittany's laughter came back to her, as she teased Justin even more. "I can remember your face so vividly. You were beat red, and it looked like you were going to cry. You ran off and JC followed you laughing." Brittany couldn't help herself as she rolled around on the backseat. "Then you came back and your right cheek was still beet red." Brittany continued her rolling, and then the laughter stopped. She sat up in her seat. "He hit you, didn't he? That's why your cheek was still red." Justin's laughter had stopped when Brittany had mentioned him leaving the room. "Yeah, he did, that was one of the first times actually, kinda ruined the joke though Brit, you didn't have to bring it up." Justin joked with Brittany as Brian pulled out of the driveway. "Sorry, it just popped into my head." Brittany apologized for ruining the moment, and the car ride went smoothly for the rest of the time. They pulled into a local hair saloon, and took there seats after Justin signed his name on the waiting list. "How many people are in front of you babe?" "2, but the lady said it wouldn't be much of a wait." "Don't look now, but theres three girls over there staring at us." Brittany ended the small conversation between Justin and Brian, and slowly brought there attention to look at the three girls she was talking about. They were holding a copy of the local newspaper. It had a picture of the press conference on the front cover. The girls stood up in unison and walked over to them. "Your Brian Litrell, Justin Timberlake and Brittany Spear's aren't you?" The tallest girl asked. "Yeah, we are. And you would be?" Brittany answered the girls question and then asked one of her own. "Um, I'm Tina, this is Jessie, and um that's Amanda." The tall girl answered pointing, first pointing towards the short and chubby girl, and then to the thin girl standing next to her. "Nice to meet you girls, but we are kinda waiting for Justin to get his hair done, so if you want some autographs or something would be happy to sign them and send you on your way." Brittany was used to handling fans, and used the same line she usually did to get them away. "Oh, well actally we had a question. Are you two really dating?" Amanda the thin girl spoke up after Brittany's response. "Yes we are." Brian smiled and answered the girls question. After a short moment without a response, Brian continued. "Does that bother you?" "No, no, of course not. We just wanted to say congratulations, I mean it's great that you guys had enough guts to admit it." Jessie the short and fat one jumped in to answer for the silence. "We are gonna come to your concert when you have one here. You are having one here aren't you?" "Yeah, we are. If you girls get a chance, drop by the backstage door and tell them your names, we'll make sure you get backstage." Brian smiled as the girls screeched out in happiness. He laughed as they walked away jumping up and down. "It's always nice to meet real fans." Justin smiled at his husband. "That may be the only thing I'll miss." He was obviously talking about his leave from NSYNC. "I know, but you'll see enough fans when you are with us." Brittany smiled to make Justin happy again. "Excuse me, Mr. Timberlake, are you ready?" The female receptionist broke up there conversation. "Head back to the far end, and you will be taken care of." Justin stood and walked to the back. He took his seat and waited for his hair cut. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ WAITING AREA "So, I know this is pretty personal, but um, are you a virgin? I mean I don't mean to pry, but Justin is my bestfriend, and I just wanna know his boyfriend's past." "It's okay, you can ask me anything. But yes, I am a virgin." "And you know Justin is right?" "Yeah, we had this talk, when we first started dating." "So you two haven't, ya know, had sex yet?" "No, now that we are getting married, I think we should wait. I mean, he isn't ready, and I don't know if I am either." "Oh, so you are going to have, well you are going to be the one to have sex with him. I'm sorry but I don't know how to word it." "Yeah, I will be the top. Justin wants to be the bottom. That's how you word it." "Sorry, I didn't know. But please promise me that you will wait until he is ready." "I promise. I don't want to hurt him, or force him into anything that he wouldn't want." "Great, I know your first time will be special. Justin has been waiting, he hasn't even kissed any one besides you, at least as far as I know." "I know, he told me that, I was his first for everything, I kinda liked that. I was kinda of nervous though, when you showed up at the conference. I was kinda scared of the relationship you and Justin had. I always thought that you two had done a lot together, I was surprise when Justin told me he had never kissed any one, and then when he told me I was his first, well his first blow job, I was really, really surprised. I mean, I don't want to be rude, but I thought you would have been his first kiss, and his first well blow job." "I know, people always think that me and him were a couple, but we never really were. He always wanted to save himself for the special some one, and that meant every thing, no kissing, no petting, no sex. I'm glad he waited though, it probably made it all the more special for you two when you kissed and when gave him a blow job." Brittany stopped herself from continuing, by letting out a laugh. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. But what I meant was, he probably knew what it felt like from masturbating, but I mean with you it was probably special to him." "Actually, Justin never masturbated. His first time, to, well you know, was with me. It caused a big fight that day, but I felt really great knowing that I was his first, pleasure." Brian boasted his accomplishment to Brittany like he had won an award for his efforts. "Whoa, I would have thought that he would have had plenty of sexual frustration and time to do that, but I guess he really did want to save himself." "And he did, I got all of him, except for that one part he lost. That one part that no one else will be able to know, not even me or you." "What part is that?" "The part that died with him the day he tried to kill himself, the part of him that still wanted to die, the part of him that hated life." Brian almost choked up on his words, as Brittany looked on in agreeance. "I'm glad that part is gone. He's a lot better with out it." "I know, but that reminds me, I still need to get him his medication. We have the tour on Monday, and we leave for the plane tomorrow morning to head out to LA for the first tour date. He's going to need them on Monday, but I don't know how to get them for him." "That's easy, just get Lynn to give you the extra prescription she carries around, just in case of emergencies." "Great, thanks, I don't want my baby to be a depressed loner during our tour. I was hoping he would do a duet with me or something." "I think he'd be happy to be involved." "I hope so, I don't want him to sit in the back alone." "Maybe you could do a love song for him. Like set him on a stool and sing to him." "Thats a good idea, but what song do I use?" "I don't know, what about......" "I know, it is a hard thing to decide." "Why not, one of the song's he likes from your album?" "I got the perfect one in mind. 'Anywhere for You'. He'll love it." "Oh, this will be so great, it can be the finale, and me and the guys can stand on the side and sing the chorus with you." "Man, he's gonna love it, but don't tell him yet. I want to surprise him. I'll call him out at the end, and then set him down for it." "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, I wanna see the look on his face." "Ya know, I don't know why I was afraid of you before. You are such a good friend of Justin's, I know I can trust you with any thing. Even my secrets." Brian smiled at Brittany, apologizing for his unspoken jealousy of her in the past. "Yeah, well I was a little jealous too, when I heard about you and Justin. I was upset that he had found happiness and I hadn't, but now that I see him with you, I don't feel it any more. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BACK OF SALON "Alright, Justin, I believe we are done." "Actually, do you think you could dye my hair, a little? Not to much, just make it a light brown." "Sure, follow me." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ WAITING AREA "I wonder what is taking him so long?" "I know, he was only getting his hair cut, and it's taking forever. I really wanted to go shopping, but now I guess we can catch lunch and then head over to the mall." Brittany brought up the mall again, trying to see if Brian was okay with it. "Yeah, that's sounds like a plan, lunch, and then the mall. Maybe I will buy Justin a gift or two." "Why?" "Just for saying yes, just for being my boyfriend." "Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend to do that for me." Brittany teased "Yeah, well I'll talk to AJ about it, I think he'll take you up on your offer, even though it's months in advance." "Great, for once, I will have a boyfriend." Brittany raised her arms in a mockery of triumph. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BACK OF SALON "How do you like it Justin?" "It's great, a little different, but I like it. How much do I owe you?" "15 for the hair cut, and 20 for the dye." Justin handed the woman a 50 and let her keep the change. Sure it was a 15 dollar tip, but he was feeling in a generous mood as he walked to the front of the building, to get Brian's and Brittany's reaction. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ WAITING AREA "Oh shit." Brittany giggled as she looked up, Brian didn't know what she was talking about, because he was sitting with his back facing the quickly approaching Justin. "What?" "Nothing, just a little different." Brian turned around when he heard Brittany's answer. He looked up to see Justin's hair shorter and darker. It was no longer blond, but light brown and his hair was now down to a normal length. "Wadda ya think?" "It's cute, real cute." Brittany teased picking up her purse, and standing to let the guys know she was ready to leave. "I like it, I think you look sexy." Brian laughed standing and walking hand and hand with Justin out the door. They headed towards the car, and drove to find the closest fast food restaraunt. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ LITRELL HOUSE "So, do you think we should let them risk the wedding in the states?" Lynn and Jackie Harris had been discussing the wedding since the departure of there sons and Brittany over an 1 hour earlier. "No, I think we should suggest that they have it in Paris." Jackie agreed with Lynn for the first time in there conversation. "I think you should keep out of there business. Maybe they should decide on there own." James Litrell was standing in the arch of the living room. "I guess you're right, it is there decision." Jackie took the acknowledgement of her son's suggestion. "I suppose he is right." Lynn finally agreed. "So did you hear about Justin's decision?" James asked, as he had stayed in the kitchen long enough to hear Justin's question to Brittany. "No, what did he decide?" Lynn asked out of her motherly curiousity. "He decided to have a maid of honor, instead of a best man, and he chose Brittany." James laughed at the idea of a maid of honor for a man instead of a best man. "Well, I think that is wonderful. He really doesn't have many guy friends, besides the boys from Brian's band, and they will be Brian's best men, so I don't see why he shouldn't have chosen Brittany to be his maid of honor." Lynn shook off James' laughter to show him her discouragment in the conversation. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ KFC RESTARAUNT "What do you two want?" Brian took out his wallet as they waited in line. "I'll just have some of your food." Justin smiled and turned towards Brittany. "Get me a salad." Brittany and Justin took off to find a table. Brian smiled reliving his conversation with Brittany in the salon. He placed the order, and then made his way to the table that Justin had found. It was in the far corner, partially hidden by a large plant. "Great seat, and it even has a view." Brian laughed pushing a branch of the tree away from him. He took a seat next to Justin and across from Brittany. "We got off pretty easily, I mean no one has stopped to talk to us, except for those three girls." Justin snatched a wing off of Brian's plate. "Ahhhhhhh" Justin let out a small cry, and grabbed Brian's drink. He took a long sip before releasing the straw. "Shit, what are those?" "Extra Spicy, just the way I like 'em. I knew you wouldn't though, so I got a few regular too." Brian pointed out the ones he had reserved for Justin. "Should you be eating them, I mean after all you do have a heart problem." It was the first time in the week and a half he had known Brian that Justin had mentioned the heart problems his boyfriend had. "It's fine, I'm allowed to eat spicy things, my problems are in the past." Brian smiled and handed Justin a wing of his own. "Just checking, I don't wanna see you in the hospital over some stupid wing." Justin forced out a smile. "Yeah, well I'm getting the extra prescription for your pills from your mother when we get back. I don't wanna see you in the hospital because of depression." Brian smiled back. "I know, I know." Justin didn't want to start an argument so he agreed with Brian. He felt that he was capable to sustain himself without the pills, but knew that he should keep taking them until his prescription ran out. "So when do we catch our flight out to LA?" Brittany changed the subject, sensing Justin's displeasure in it. "I think our flight leaves at 8 tomorrow morning. Kevin said something about us being in first class, and you and Justin flying in coach. Something about you weren't popular enough to associate with us in public." Brian laughed at his own joke, but didn't get a response from Justin or Brittany. "Oh really, well tell Kevin he can kiss my Pop Queen ass." Brittany joked out. Justin found himself out of the conversation. He was awakened when he heard his name. "Justin, wake up dude, you think you can make it to the mall?" Brittany snapped her fingers in front of Justin's face. "Yeah, let's go." Justin stood and followed them out the door. Brittany and Brian were ahead of Justin. Brian turned around to see what was taking Justin so long, and felt the sharp pain of heart ache come over him. Justin was laying on the floor, no more then 10 feet away from them. Brian ran and picked up Justin. He ran to the car and opened the door, Brittany followed him in and pulled Justin's head onto his lap. Brian took off for the house. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE LITRELL HOUSE "Mom, get a blanket. Mrs. Harliss run upstairs and grab a hot wash cloth. Brittany go get some pillows and set them on the couch." Brian ordered around the house the second the door flung open. After seeing Justin in his arms, not moving, the mothers rushed around to follow them. Brittany grabbed the pillows she could find and set them on the couch. Brian laid Justin down on them, and then waited for the blanket. Jackie ran into the room and handed Brian the blanket. Brian tucked the blanket around Justin and waited for Lynn. Tears streamed his face as Lynn ran down the stairs. "What happened to him? Is he breathing?" Lynn screamed down the stairs as she came running with the wash cloth. She placed it on Justin's forehead and waited for an answer. "I don't know, we turned around and he was on the ground. I should have noticed, I should have saw that he was aching, but I didn't see anything." Tears continued to flow down his face, as he knelt down to listen to Justin's heart. "I can barely hear his heart." Brian couldn't keep back the sobs and moans after he came to the realization. "Brittany call the doctor, and get a room ready at the hospital. James, go get the car started." Jackie ordered the people in the room around. "Brian pick Justin up and take him to the car." Brian scooped Justin up and ran to the car. He placed Justin gently in the backseat and scooted in to rest Justin's head on his lap. James and Brittany piled in the front, and Lynn and Jackie crawled into the very back of the jeep. The car ride was quiet, the only thing that broke that silence, was Brian's sobs. His face was covered in tears, as he held Justin tightly to his lap. The car pulled into the hospital parking lot and Brian carried Justin into the building, Brittany ran after him to make sure he got in, since she had used her name. Brian ran through the doors, and Brittany let the nurse know her name, the nurse pointed her in the right direction, and she and Brian headed towards the room. Brian set Justin down on the bed, and the doctor escorted them out of the room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE WAITING ROOM It had been a good hour since Justin was left alone in the doctor's room. By that time, Kevin, AJ, Howie, Nick, Ann Richardson (Kevin's mom) and Mr. Litrell had all arrived. Brian was pacing the waiting room area, and his tears had stopped a good 30 minutes earlier. Small conversations were taking place around the room, but they had given up on talking to Brian. He wasn't there. "Hello, I'm Dr. Cobelo. Justin has suffered a small heart failure, but he is doing fine. He can leave as soon as you'd like and as long as he stays off his feet for a few days he should be fine. I'm sure with so many friends, he can handle that. If some one would like to go and get him into a wheel chair, you can take him to your car." Brian didn't want for any one to say anything else, before he walked into the room where he had left Justin. Justin was sitting on the bed. His shirt was torn, and he had a large bruise on his cheek. "Hi babe." Justin tried to smile at Brian, but he didn't get the look he was hoping for from his boyfriend. "Please tell me your fine, tell me that you are fine" Brian felt the tears coming back to him, but he held them in for Justin. "I'm fine, the doctor says I'm fine. Can we get out of here?" Justin tried to lift himself, but was met with Brian's strong hands around his waist. Brian lifted Justin and helped him into the wheelchair. "I'm sorry this happened, it was all my fault. I should've noticed how pale you were. I've been through this, I should have remembered the signs." Brian caressed Justin's face where his large bruise covered his cheek. His tears couldn't be held back much longer, but he fought them off as hard as he could. "It's no one's fault, I should have said something. I should have told you. Don't blame yourself, I'm fine now, and that's all that matters." Justin knew that Brian was choking up with pain. "Please, take me back home, I don't want to be in the hospital, I just wanna get some sleep before the flight." Justin sank into the wheelchair, and let Brian wheel him out of his room. "Justin, are you okay?" Lynn ran to see her son. "I'm fine, can we go?" Justin kept up his insistence to leave. Brian didn't wait for any one else, he just slowly walked down the halls, pushing Justin towards the exit. The large group stopped in the parking lot. "So, how are we going to get back to our houses?" Nick questioned what the driving arrangement would be. "Well, I have my car, and Brian has his, and Kevin has his, so we have three cars between all of us." Mr. Litrell spoke up. "Alright, Nick, Howie, AJ, mom you can come with me, since we all have to go back to the house." Kevin walked off towards his car with his passengers following. "I'll take back you, and Lynn if you don't mind riding with us." Lynn agreed and followed Brian's parents to there car. James hopped in the driver's seat, and Brittany and Brian both got in the back, making sure Justin had some one to rest on, if he needed it. Justin sat in between them, and didn't speak for the whole car ride. "So, Brian, when do we leave tomorrow?" Brittany broke the other's silence to start a conversation. "We leave at 8 tomorrow morning, Kevin wants us all at the airport by 7 though." Brian answered Brittany's question with out any excess, he was hoping he could have some quiet time to think, but he knew that Brittany was only trying to help. "Man, that means we have to be up bright and early to fight over the shower. I mean, with you, me and Justin we are going to have to get up at like 4 in the morning." Brittany tried to make light of there dilemna. "Well, I'll get up first and shower, then Justin can get a sponge bath, and then you can get your shower." "Uh, a sponge bath, looks like Justin will have no problem waking up." James teased from his front seat. "Hey, Bro, I'll take you guys to the airport tomorrow." "Thanks." Brian didn't find James joke about the sponge bath funny, but he was thankful that his brother would take them to the airport. He wanted to say goodbye before they left. The car ride contained small conversations, but nothing big enough to get everyone's attention. Justin didn't talk once, and Brian knew something was bothering him. The scene around the Litrell house was the same. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ LITRELL HOUSE It was 6 o'clock now, and dinner was being prepared in the kitchen. Justin was lying on the couch in Brian's robe and a pair of boxers. He was half-asleep and half-awake. Brittany was in the kitchen helping Mrs. Litrell and Mrs. Harliss. James and Harold Litrell were in the backyard talking about sports, and Brian was busying himslef upstairs packing his and Justin's clothes, remembering to leave out one outfit for the both of them. "Dinner." Jackie Litrell screamed through out the house, to get attention of the men. Brian walked out of his room and down the steps. He didn't even turn to wait for Justin as he made his way into the kitchen, and took a seat next to his brother. "Justin, are you coming to dinner?" Jackie questioned, but her scream was in no need neccessary, Justin was now standing in the kitchen hallway. "I'm gonna go sleep, I wanna get alot of sleep before tomorrow." Justin didn't wait for any one's approval and turned to the steps. He walked up them and into the room. He plopped down on the bed, and pulled the covers around him. He grabbed the pillow that had been Brian's for years, clutching it to his chest, he dozed into sleep. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ KITCHEN Brian found himself playing with his food. he couldn't eat, he couldn't find any need to. What he really wanted was to hold Justin, and just cry. He wanted to let out his tears. "May I be excused?" Brian stood from the table hoping the answer would be yes. "Why?" Harold asked of his son. "I wanna go check on Justin. I want to make sure he's okay." Brian turned and walked out of the room, he didn't wait to see if his mother and father would allow him to, he just went. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE BEDROOM Brian walked into the room, and could hear Justin's soft breathes. The tears were beginning to form in his eyes again. He took a seat next to Justin and pulled Justin close to his chest. "How could I have been so stupid? I'm so sorry, you are my fiance, and I couldn't even help you, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even tell you were sick. What kind of a husband will I make?" Brian let the sobs flow down his face, and onto his shoulders. With out his realization he was clutching Justin tightly, tight enough to wake him. "Brian" Justin moaned out in a groggy voice. Although he had only been sleeping for 10 minutes, Justin was still heavily sleeping, enough so that when he was woken up he felt like he had been sleeping for hours. Brian's sobs droned out his moans, and Brian didn't catch his name being uttered. He held Justin tight, and cried for the first time in days. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe myself. I'm such an idiot, I fucked up completely." Brian was beating himself up inside. His tears falling into the now soaked shoulders of his body. Justin was slowly awakening more as Brian squeezed his body tight. "Brian, your hurting me." Justin managed to quietly utter his pain out. He hadn't been able to really catch what Brian had been saying. Brian quickly let Justin go, and stood up. "Look, I try to hold you, and all I do is squeeze you to death." Brian turned and began to walk out of the room. "Brian, your hurting me." Justin managed to utter the same phrase again, he wasn't talking about the squeezing, but the words that he was now hearing. "What?" Brian didn't understand what Justin was saying, as his tears continued to come. "Please, don't say that. Please don't go, just hold me." Justin pleaded with out being able to pull himself up from his sleeping position. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth, how can I help you, if I can't even tell when your sick." Brian didn't turn around, he didn't want Justin to see his tears. "You can help me, if you there for me, just be there when I need you. Hold me when I need you." In a way, Justin was again asking Brian to hold him, but Brian still made no effort to turn around. "Please." Justin moaned out his question, almost in pain. "I wish I could, but I can't. I wasn't there for you earlier, so you shouldn't want me there for you now." Brian's words cut straight into Justin's hurt. "Please, you were there for me, you carried me to the car, you covered me up, you were there at the hospital. You were there for me every step of the way, please be here for me now." Justin could feel his own tears begging at his eyes to be free. Brian didn't answer Justin's plea. He slowly walked towards the door, and turned the knob. "You promised, you promi..." Justin couldn't say it again, his tears fell out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He was in shock from how Brian was reacting over the whole day of events. Brian opened the door, and then took a step back. He had promised, he had promised never to leave Justin alone, never to hurt him. He was doing just that, he was leaving him, and he was hurting him. He wiped his own tears and ran to the bed. He pulled the covers around himself, and let Justin nestle against his chest. Justin's tears slowly subsided, and he fell asleep to Brian's breathing. Brian didn't sleep at first, but slowly it crept over him and he fell asleep dreaming of Justin. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE PLANE RIDE TO LA It had been a hard morning trying to get Justin up and bathed. Brian and Brittany both showered before Justin even rolled out of bed. And then Brian got his clothes soaked when he tried to get Justin into the bath tub. He ended up changing and the three didn't make it to the airport until 7:30, a half an hour late for Kevin's approval. Brian and Brittany apologized, saying that they got stuck in traffic, as so Justin would be spared from argument. Once they boarded the plane, every one took there seats. Kevin and Howie sat in the farthest back seats on the left side of first class. Brittany, AJ, and Nick sat in a middle row, with Brittany in between. Justin had the window seat in front of Kevin and Brian sat next to him. Brian was feeling the same returning feeling of nervousness as the plane took off, but Justin wasn't there to help him. Justin had dozed off shortly after he took his seat. The plane took off in the air, and Brian managed to calm himself down, remembering to keep his eyes shut, and to think about something else. He thought about Justin and there future wedding, and the calm set in over his worried body. Brittany carried on a conversation with AJ, as Nick dozed in and out of sleep. Kevin busied himself with papers, while Howie listened to his cd player. Brian couldn't do anything, he just found himself thinking about Justin while the plane slowly followed it's pre-planned course. "Hey, Bri, whose your best man going to be?" Howie released his head phones, and leaned over his seat to wait for an answer. "Um, I think I want my bro to be, but you guys are all going to be up there with me." Brian tried to smile, hoping that Howie wouldn't be angry with his decision. "Cool, whose Justin going to have?" Howie didn't know how to word the question, with out offending Brian. "He is going to have Brittany be his maid of honor. I know it's different, but she's his best friend." Brian smiled sensing Howie's awkwardness. Howie leaned back and popped his headphones back on. Brian took back to his thinking, and the plane ride continued peacefully. "Ughhhh." Justin moaned as he slowly opened his eyes to the brightness of the plane. "Hey, weren't you wearing something else when we were at the house?" Justin caught his boyfriend with an odd glance. "Yeah, I had to change. You got me all wet, you were a little tired and cranky this morning. You practically pulled me in the bath with you." Brian smiled, happy that he had some one to talk to, that he could enjoy. "Sorry, I can't even remember anything, it seems like I've been sleeping for hours." "Actually, you went to sleep at like 7 last night, slept till 5:30, slept in the car ride to the airport, slept in the airport waiting room, and you've been a sleep for a good hour and a half on the plane. It's 9:30 now." Brian laughed at his lover's loss of time. "Oh, I'm still tired. I have this like aching feeling in me, everytime I wake up." Justin moaned out in displeasure again, as he shut his eyes and adjusted himself to sleep again. He leaned his chair back, and kicked up his foot rest for comfort. "Are you going to be okay? You want me to get you an advil, or some blankets?" Brian found his happiness slowly fade into worry. "No, I'm fine, just let me sleep for a while." Justin slipped out his words and squirmed for comfort. Brian slowly regained his happiness, and smiled. He sat still as Justin switched positions every ten minutes. Finally Brian took a chance to help. "Here, let me help." Brian picked Justin up and placed Justin's upper half on his lap. "Now, try." Brian smiled at Justin, who was not really awake enough to realize that he had been moved. Justin sank into Brian's lap, dangling his hands out into the aisle. As Justin fell into his sleep, Brian knew that he would get in trouble for allowing Justin to sleep in that position. But he didn't care, he was comfortable with Justin on him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ L.A. HOTEL Justin slept for the rest of the plane ride, cuddled up to Brian's waist. Brian found himself happier then expected, as Justin's head was cuddled up to his crotch. He tried to contain himself, and managed to, when the plane landed, and he pushed Justin into his seat and buckled him in. Justin didn't wake through the whole landing, and slept in the limo as well. Brian had to carry him into there hotel and into there bedroom. He put him down on the bed, and went about unpacking. His unpacking was interrupted when a knock came at the door. "Do you two want to get lunch with me, AJ, and Nick?" Brittany was standing at the door. "Sorry, Justin is still sleeping, and I don't want to wake him up. I'm just going to relax until we have to head to the arena for practice." "Don't forget the song you have planned for tomorrow. I'll tell AJ and Nick about it at lunch, but you better suggest it to Kevin, he's the one in charge." "Yeah, I know, I'll tell him at rehearsal. Oh, by the way, are you coming to rehearsal?" "No, I had my practices in the other day before I flew out to Kentucky for the press conference, I was just going to hang out here, or come and watch you guys." "Cool, could you stay with Justin? You and him could just chill out here or something." "Sure, when you guys leave I'll head over. It won't be much fun though, with sleeping beauty." Brittany teased and walked to the end of the hall where AJ and Nick were waiting. Brian shut he door laughing. He went back to his suitcases and Justin's, and filled the items of clothing into the dresser of the room. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ HOTEL RESTARAUNT Brittany, AJ, and Nick had each ordered there meals, and were waiting for them, as they drank there sodas. Even AJ didn't want a beer, after all he was with two minors, and didn't want them to feel left out. "So, Britt, who you taking to the wedding?" AJ broke the silence. "I don't know, actually, I was hoping you might want to go with me." Brittany sent a provacative stare in AJ's direction. "Sure, why not. I don't have any one else to take." AJ laughed and accepted Brittany's offer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BRIAN AND JUSTIN'S ROOM "No, Brian please don't go." "I have to, I don't love you, I love JC. It was all a scam Justin, just to hurt you. To make you leave, to kill your spirit. You are such an idiot. Did you honestly think I would fall in love with a worthless little bitch like you." "Please, don't say that, I'm sorry, what do you want from me?" "I want you to die, I want you out of my life, out of JC's, out of every ones. You are worthless, no one will miss you." "Please." Justin screamed out in his sleep. His dreams had taken a turn for the worse and were now nightmares. "Nooooo." He shot up from his bed looking around the room, he noticed that Brian was gone. "It can't be true, Brian, Brian where are you?" "Calm down kiddo, he just went to practice, you were having a nightmare." Brittany ran out of the bathroom to see what Justin wanted. "He said if you wanted we could go and watch." "Please." Justin shook off his fears, and stood from the bed. "Whoa, mind putting some clothes on, if your husband came in here, he'd think we were just making out." Brittany laughed, noticing that Justin was only wearing a pair of tight boxer-briefs. "Sorry, I forgot." Justin grabbed for some clothes from the drawer, and threw them on. "It's not like you haven't seen it, after all, we are best friends." "Yeah, well, hurry up and do your hair, so we can get out of here." "I don't feel like it, let's just go." "What? Is this the same Justin Timberlake I know? The one that doesn't leave his house with out a ton of goop in his hair? The Justin I know wouldn't leave the house with his messed up, with sleep hair." "Oh well, get used to it, because I'm not doing it. I don't feel like getting spiffied up." Brittany and Justin teased each other as they shut the door. Heading down the elevator into the limo that was left for them if they needed it. Brittany told the driver where to head, and the two were off in the direction of Brian and the other Backstreet Boys. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ **I hope you liked this chapter. The Backstreet Boys confronted the media, and Justin got a huge surprise.** **In the next chapter you will find out how all the fans feel about Brian and Justin as the Backstreet Boys have there first concert.** **Also, I want to thank the few people that e-mail me after each chapter. I really appriciate it. I would also like to say to a few of the critics who have asked me this: No I am not an NSYNC hater, in fact, I enjoy NSYNC more then BSB, but I wanted to do something that's never been done, so I made the guys mean.** **Keep up the e-mails, and I will keep writing. Whether any one likes it or not, I will probably keep writing any ways, because I like it.** **Here are some other stories I really think you should read if you get the chance... Brian and Justin (My favorite), A Tale of Two Boy Bands, and Wishes of the Heart. There are a lot of others that I enjoy, but I really like these three. I suggest if you get bored, or finish a set of some one elses, and want to read something new, try these.**