HEY EVERYONE! Well...I can hear the bitching, so just hush! LoL...Yeah it is a little late. I haven't been in the writing mood most of this week but now all of a sudden I am and so I better put it to use. I had the whole evening to write and I didn't. It is now 11:30 and I am only starting to write. I have to wake up at 5:30 so I am just like pumped... So yeah this is moving along so slow, I apologize. I probly deserve to be stoned or something. Well maybe not.

I just remembered a quote and it is probly wrong so if you know the correct version please e-mail it to me...spifty214@email.com... here it is "It takes a minute to meet someone, an hour to like someone, a day to fall in love, and a lifetime to forget." It's pretty damned close. Thank you for all the quotes that were e-mailed to me. I will be posting some of them in the footer.

Ok so we are picking up from where we left off. I have been told that I leave in some brutal endings. Well come on, what do you expect! Also, I have fallen in love with a song and I will be using it in this installment, so if you want to get ahead of me go and download it now! Its Mandy Moore, I Wanna Be With You. It's so good!

OK, Queestionaroonies, Comments, Concerns, Complaints, or anything else, feel free to e-mail me. spifty214@email.com. My leg itches. Oh well. Ok, so after the legal crapola I will start writing...

LEGAL! Ok, so If it is illegal for you to read this or you are not allowed to, then don't read it. I do not imply anything about any real character. That includes sexuality, personality, penis size, yadda yadda yadda... Ya get the picture.

On a personal note...I am not superstitious so I will let there be a chapter 13...As I write this there is a full moon, freaky. Cept I can't see it cause it is raining! DAMMIT!

Lonely Lance...Chapter 13

Steve stood feet away from Lance looking down upon him. He had a blank look on his face. He was angry, he was happy, he was sad, he was confused. He didn't know what to do. Their eyes met and then Lance looked down at the floor.

"Look, Josh, I have to go, I will call you back later, sorry, laters." Lance said as he removed the phone from his ear. He pushed the end button and placed the phone on the counter. He stood up in front of Steve and grabbed his hands in his. He looked deep into his eyes and was about to speak when Steve spoke first.

"Lance, please don't do this, not here, not right now." Steve said trying to hold back tears. Tears from his mother, tears from the pain of not having this feeling in so long, tears of joy, tears of longing.

"I know Steve but I have to do this. I...I....I Love you. From the moment I first saw you I knew you were special. I knew there was something about you. It is the way you make me smile whenever I see you. When I am with you I feel whole. I feel safe, I don't feel alone anymore. I know this is soon, I know that you probly don't love me. I just can't live without you knowing this. I Love You...I am so sorry that I had to do this." Lance said starting to tear up as well. The whole time he said this their eyes were locked and staring deeply into each others. They were lost. Slowly Lance and Steve moved closer together. Lance let go of Steve's hands and wrapped them around Steve's waste. Steve wrapped his arms around Lance. Slowly their heads tilted and their lips softly touched. They pulled away slightly and then moved back closer and gently touched their lips together. They stood there for what seemed like an eternity passionately kissing. Thoughts ran through Steve's mind. Steve's watch beeped indicating it was two o'clock. He broke the kiss and pulled away.

"I...I can't do this Lance. I am sorry." Steve said as he walked out of the bathroom and into the hotel room. A confused Lance followed behind.

"But I thought..." Lance started but was interrupted by Steve.

"I don't love you Lance, I know I shouldn't have done what I just did, I am sorry, I...I just don't know. Look, I have to take a shower now and get dressed, I am supposed to go be at the funeral home at 3:30 and it is 2:00 right now. If you want to come you still can, but I can do this without you. I am going to stay at my parents for the rest of the time we are here. If you want I will call and get you a flight booked back to Orlando this afternoon." Steve said to Lance. Steve was extremely in love with Lance. He knew he was. He didn't want to get hurt. He figured that maybe being alone would be better then getting hurt. There was an uncomfortable pause. Steve started walking to the bathroom when a hurt Lance spoke up. His voice was shaky and he was trying hard to force each word out.

"Is...is it ok if I still go with you today? And if I still stay till Tuesday?" Lance asked as Steve turned around. "I still want to be your friend."

"Yeah, that is fine, but I am still staying with my dad so I guess you are gonna have to get to the funeral tomorrow if you are going to that and you are gonna have to get back here. So do whatever you want." Steve said as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He stood in the shower with hot water running over his body thinking about what he should do. He really loved Lance, he knew he did. But how was he supposed to go on. He decided he would be better off if he just pushed Lance away. Just shut him out and then the love will just go away. He got out of the bathroom at 2:40. He walked out the door in a towel and Lance walked in and closed the door. He started running the water but did not get in the shower. He took his cell phone off the counter and dialed JC's number. JC picked up the phone immediately knowing it was Lance.

- "Well hey there stallion...I here a shower running, definitely a good sign." JC said.

- "Please Josh, I just need to talk to you. Everything went horrible. I told him. He heard while I was on the phone with you and I had to tell him right then. I am such a wreck right now. I am crying as I am talking to you, I like never cry. He doesn't love me Josh. He is pushing me away. He said he would send me back to Orlando today. I just don't know what to do?"

- "So who is in the shower?"

- "I turned it on so I could talk to you without being heard. I have to get in it in a sec because the car will be here at 3:00 and I am like not even ready. So look, I have to go now, but I just wanted to tell you what happened. Make sure when you get to LA that you set up a meeting with the guys so I can tell them ok?"

- "Ok bro, will do, hang in there. Just give it some time and see what happens. It is kinda soon."

- " I know, I know. But I love him, I truly do. I have to go now. Later."

- "Later."

Lance hung up the phone. He got in the shower and took a quick one. He got out and left the bathroom. He put his clothes on and went in to do his hair. Not a word was said between the two. As Lance dressed Steve did his hair. As Lance did his hair Steve put all of his luggage by the door and made sure he didn't forget anything. At 3:15 they made their way down to the Lobby. The Limo was waiting there for them. Again, they had no trouble with fans, partially because the hotel was barren, and partially because of Lance's goofy disguise. The driver loaded Steve's luggage in the trunk and they were off. It took them till four to get to the funeral home. As they got out of the limo Steve finally broke the silence.

"Most of my family is older so they probly won't know who you are. There are gonna be some of my cousins here and stuff but I doubt that they will hound you. My family is very close and they are all too caught up with my mom to deal with you ok?" Steve said monotonously not even looking at Lance.

"OK" was all Lance said.

They made their way in. There was about fifty people there. Mostly friends and family of Steve's parents. They said hi to everyone and Steve introduced Lance as well. Steve's aunt was whispering to some lady and they didn't think that Steve could hear.

"I wonder if he is a fag too?" Aunt Patty said. Steve could not resist and tore into good old Aunt Patty.

"You wonder if he is a fag? Who gives you the right to call anyone a fag. You are a flippin dyke. I don't see what the big deal is with you. You have always had a problem with me. We are here for my mom and not to gossip and call people fags. So just shut the fuck up." Steve said. It set in a couple seconds later as he realized just what he had done. He walked out of the funeral home and sat on a bench outside. His cousin Kate came out and sat next to him. Lance was still inside shocked at what just happened. He decided it would be best if he leave Steve alone.

"So, are you and Mr. Lance Bass superstar together?" Kate asked

"What?" Steve asked a little shocked.

"You heard me. I see the way he looks at you. For him to not be gay and not in love with you would really shock me." Kate said.

"Ya know, ever since we have been young you have always been able to sense everything. I don't know whether it is weird or what. Yes though, he is gay, and he loves me, but you can't tell me, for what I just told you I can get fired and sued. Ok?"

"Yeah, I know. Well so why aren't you with him? Why are being alone?" Kate asked.

"Because I want to be." Steve responded.

"Oh Please, no you don't, you hate being alone. Remember how whenever I spent the night Aunt Karen (Steve`s Mom) would always have to be in your room until you fell asleep. I know she did that when I wasn't there too. You have a fear of being alone. You want to be with him, but you won't let yourself. I really don't like seeing you hurt. You are hurting yourself Stevie. I love you but I don't love the way you treat yourself." Kate said as she got up and started walking back inside. "I will always be here for you." She finished as she walked inside. It was now 8 O'clock. The funeral home closed at 9 and Steve just stayed outside till then. Slowly all his family left. His dad was left and so was Lance. Lance came out talking to Steve's dad. He didn't say a word to. He walked over to the limo. The driver opened the trunk and put Steve's luggage into Steve's dad's car. The limo and Lance took off.

"I'll wait, go say good bye." His dad said. Steve understood and walked back in and kneeled at the kneeler in front of her casket. He prayed, her cried, he hurt. Hestayed there for a half hour and then left. He made his way to his dads car and they left. They made it to his dad's at 10. His dad parked the car in front of the house and shut the ignition off. He did not take his seatbelt off.

"What are you doing Steve?" his dad asked.

"HUH?" Steve replied. (he is such a bright boy sometimes)

"Well I know what happened earlier. I know you more than you think. You love him back. I know you do. Don't deny it. You are only going to hurt yourself. Now we are going to go to the hotel, you are gonna go up and you are going to tell him how you feel. So just sit there and pretend with me that we are happy." Steve's dad said as he started the car and drove off. Steve did not say a word. They pulled to the front of the hotel at 10:50. The car stopped and Steve opened the door.

"Thanks dad." Steve said as he closed the door. He walked into the hotel and walked towards the elevator. He pressed the 55 for his floor and the doors closed. He watched the digital screen flash the numbers of the floors he had passed. He thought about how stupid he had been, yet how happy he was. He loved Lance, Lance loved him. It was perfect. He had been waiting all his life for this and he had found it. For a moment a smile was on his face. The elevator dinged and he walked out. He made his way to the room, he still had his room key and he was pulling his luggage behind him. He opened the door and heard Lance listening to Mandy Moore's new song which he had also heard previously. (when you are in the inside you get singles and stuff before they come out.) Lance was lying on the bed crying. Steve got in and closed the door. The room was dark. Lance did not see him come in. Steve walked over to the bed and laid down beside Lance and held him. Lance was about to speak and Steve put his indewx finger over Lance's mouth to tell him not to speak.

"Don't cry babe, I love you, I am sorry..."

I try but I cant seem to get myself

To think of anything

But you Your breath on my face

Your warm gentle kiss I taste the truth

I taste the truth

We know what I came here for

So I won't ask for more

I wanna be with you If only for a night

To be the one whose in your arms

Who holds you tight

I wanna be with you

Theres nothing more to say

Theres nothing else I want more than to feel this way

I wanna be with you

So I'll hold you tonite

Like I would if you were mine to hold forever more

And I'll saver each touch that I wanted

So much to feel before (to feel before)

How beautiful it is

Just to be like this

I wanna be with you

If only for a night

To be the one whose in your arms

Who holds you tight I wanna be with you

Theres nothing more to say

Theres nothing else

I want more than to feel this way

I wanna be with you

Oh baby I can't fight this feeling anymore

It drives me crazy when I try to

So call my name

Take my hand

Make a wish Baby, your command?


I wanna be with you

Theres nothing more to say

Theres nothing more than I want

Than to feel this way

I wanna be with you

I wanna be with you

I wanna be with you

Wanna be with you....

I wanna be with you


I'd Like to thank my Literary Assistant Jilly. I would like to also thank my inspiration Josh. I think I really don't need to say anything else. E-Mail me...Spifty214@email.com.

Here are the quotes I promised you:

"Life-it aint easy. It's so tough. It aint easy. So put a smile on your
face....and make the world look better"

-Vitamin C

"If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength"
-French Proverb

"There's nothing wrong with going to bed with somebody of your own sex.
People should be very free with sex-they should draw the line at goats."
-Elton John

"The sex life of a fish is nothing to brag about"
-Robert Benchley

"With every season turn turn turn...."


"It can help you to cry because you need to let it out. It can escort you through something painful you have to go through. And it can fill you with so much joy."
-Celine Dion, about music

"I think the impulse to do something for someone other than yourself is the first step toward finding yourself. In trying to help someone else, you find yourself. You can only find yourself by not looking for yourself."
-Bette Midler

"My life is a miracle. And the people in it are miracles. I don't take any of it for granted."
-Gary Zukav

"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the world, and the immense, the boundless treasures that it holds in store."
-Edward Carpenter

"If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded."
-Maya Angelou

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
-H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Have great day!